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Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...
halp a girl who i matched with on friday messaged me first late in the night. she drunk-messaging? im scared, please turn off the web

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nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO

Amarcarts posted:

So if you swipe yes to your boss, and nothing ever happens then basically everything is the same but now she's creeped out about you. If you swipe no, then she may have also swiped no, in which case no harm done, but if she swiped yes then now she knows you think she's uggo.

This sounds risky.

21st century tiger trap

Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...
when is the appropriate time to bring up your preferred gender pronouns and triggers with the girls you meet on tinder?

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug

Libelous Slander posted:

when is the appropriate time to bring up your preferred gender pronouns and triggers with the girls you meet on tinder?

thats what the "about me" box is for

that or "live~laugh~love"

Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...

newreply.php posted:

thats what the "about me" box is for

that or "live~laugh~love"

lmao i unintentionally insulted her with the very first text. negging through incompetence.

Darkman Fanpage
Jul 4, 2012

Libelous Slander posted:

halp a girl who i matched with on friday messaged me first late in the night. she drunk-messaging? im scared, please turn off the web

inform her that you do not appreciate late night messaging. girls love guys that are hard to get.

Necc0
Jun 30, 2005

by exmarx
Broken Cake
i think tinder should put an upper cap on how many matches you can have at once so it forces you to either interact with your matches or clean them out until you find people you DO want to talk to.

maybe then add the ability to purchase additional match slots if they want to make money. it'd be a narcissist goldmine

Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...

Darkman Fanpage posted:

inform her that you do not appreciate late night messaging. girls love guys that are hard to get.

this is a good idea. i will post tinder office hours on my profile

Necc0
Jun 30, 2005

by exmarx
Broken Cake
also pro-tip for newbies: make your profile, swipe a small handful just to show your account as 'active' and then don't touch the app for a week or two. they push the people who swiped you to the front of the line so when you first use it you'll get matches really quickly. also learn some self control and stop swiping once you have a handful of matches because it can quickly get overwhelming trying to talk to like 30 chicks at once

Daikatana Ritsu
Aug 1, 2008

Present posted:

First time Tinder trip report.

After swiping right on every single ho for about 20 minutes I ended up with 4 matches. A fatty, a reasonably attractive girl and two extremely hot bitches. I decided to defer to Ron Burgundy's wisdom in picking up the ladies, and so I opened with the timeless classic "I want to climb you like a tree" with all four.

Results:

Fatty: Lol not looking for hookups, thanks
(chatting her up now. I don't even know why I'm bothering, she's fat and I don't want to have sex with her)

Reasonably attractive girl: lol, I'm 5 feel tall, not gonna be much of a climb
(chatting her up, she's loving it, gonna give her the D)

2 hot sluts: Gone with no reply

Bonus: Just swiped right on a hot hipster girl I met on OKC and went out on a date with a few months ago. Kissed her during the date and never heard from her again. She had WTF eyes during the kiss.




If a kind goon buys me a new avatar gonna do these reports daily and with more dirty details.

Yase :D I definitely will pay 10$ for the privilege of hearing your experiences with a phone application good sire!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug

Necc0 posted:

also pro-tip for newbies: make your profile, swipe a small handful just to show your account as 'active' and then don't touch the app for a week or two. they push the people who swiped you to the front of the line so when you first use it you'll get matches really quickly. also learn some self control and stop swiping once you have a handful of matches because it can quickly get overwhelming trying to talk to like 30 chicks at once

another one: swipe friends to the right and help them be sorted further up the stack for others!

also makes for fauxkward "hey lol u liked me on tinder?"/"lol guess u like me too" convos

Libelous Slander
May 1, 2009

... you're just creepy ...

newreply.php posted:

another one: swipe friends to the right and help them be sorted further up the stack for others!

also makes for fauxkward "hey lol u liked me on tinder?"/"lol guess u like me too" convos

this sounds like it would be great, if i had friends

Not Al-Qaeda
Mar 20, 2012

The Wizard of Poz posted:

no I'm talking about people I know that I've heard talking about it. And then there's the ones who literally have in their profile "not looking for hookups" lol. There are a lot of people in my area who don't get the internet and seem to think Tinder is for finding serious relationships

no it's just so they wouldnt seem like a slut

cracker
May 12, 2003

by Fluffdaddy
I accidentally liked a fatty when I first installed the app and she insta matched. In the next 15 mins I got matched w/ 4 pretty solid hotties. What's my play? Do I message the fatty to get a feel for things or go straight for the hot ones?

subhuman filth
Nov 1, 2006

cracker posted:

I accidentally liked a fatty when I first installed the app and she insta matched. In the next 15 mins I got matched w/ 4 pretty solid hotties. What's my play? Do I message the fatty to get a feel for things or go straight for the hot ones?

orgy

Cool Blue Reason
Jan 7, 2010

by Lowtax
lol tinder

the worst thing is
Oct 3, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
Test run on the fatty, there is an art to tinder messaging. The artless either do not get laid or are propelled towards their goal through the sheer force of their horny convictions.

Hirethor
Dec 16, 2008

You think you know hip?
YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BEING HIP!
I've been using this thing for almost a week now, I've seen 2 people I know IRL and only have one match.

Life's hard when you're both ugly and picky :(

edit: And sooo many single moms, holy poo poo [City name here].

Hirethor fucked around with this message at 04:12 on Aug 21, 2014

EXTREME INSERTION
Jun 4, 2011

by LadyAmbien
I will only accept herpes from a HB8.5 or higher tia hth

big black turnout
Jan 13, 2009



Fallen Rib

cracker posted:

I accidentally liked a fatty when I first installed the app and she insta matched. In the next 15 mins I got matched w/ 4 pretty solid hotties. What's my play? Do I message the fatty to get a feel for things or go straight for the hot ones?

swhg

subhuman filth
Nov 1, 2006

HPV16 and up only, please.

Daikatana Ritsu
Aug 1, 2008

EXTREME INSERTION posted:

I will only accept herpes from a HB8.5 or higher tia hth

Hello.

Choco1980
Feb 22, 2013

I fell in love with a Video Nasty
Anyone else ever have the program error and erase your history? I had on like, day two of using the program some hot chick with a pic of herself in a wonder woman outfit match me and start messaging me immediately making like, explicit comments and stuff, only to have the app crash and erase any trace of her, making me look like a liar douchebag for claiming she existed.

5-HT
Oct 17, 2012

Choco1980 posted:

Anyone else ever have the program error and erase your history? I had on like, day two of using the program some hot chick with a pic of herself in a wonder woman outfit match me and start messaging me immediately making like, explicit comments and stuff, only to have the app crash and erase any trace of her, making me look like a liar douchebag for claiming she existed.

lol, probably a spam acct

Snodgrass Supreme
Nov 6, 2012

cracker posted:

I accidentally liked a fatty when I first installed the app and she insta matched. In the next 15 mins I got matched w/ 4 pretty solid hotties. What's my play? Do I message the fatty to get a feel for things or go straight for the hot ones?

invite them all to meet you at neighboring bars at the same time and speed date them all at the same time. Inform one of your need to urgently poop then run next door to the next one

naem
May 29, 2011

Libelous Slander posted:

exponential difference. its BS i went to school without apps and graduated right into giant recession :qq:

lololololol

naem
May 29, 2011

Already managed to have sex with several of various ex's girlfriends already not sure if this app is for me

cracker
May 12, 2003

by Fluffdaddy

Hirethor posted:

I've been using this thing for almost a week now, I've seen 2 people I know IRL and only have one match.

Life's hard when you're both ugly and picky :(

edit: And sooo many single moms, holy poo poo [City name here].

Get abs and a dog.

Dave Concepcion
Mar 19, 2012
hot tip: swedish chicks on tinder pay for their own drinks, gently caress on the first date and are generally pretty hot

naem
May 29, 2011

Dave Concepcion posted:

hot tip: swedish chicks on tinder pay for their own drinks, gently caress on the first date and are generally pretty hot

The only Swedish girl I've ever met was more masculine than me it didn't work

She really liked me too

Not a Children
Oct 9, 2012

Don't need a holster if you never stop shooting.

Only Swedish girl I've ever met committed suicide after we broke up. That was through Omegle though, does that not count?

Also, got a Tinder girl stalking me now, fuckin' blows

global tetrahedron
Jun 24, 2009

i love to laugh
fluent in sarcasm
not interested in hookups

Dave Concepcion
Mar 19, 2012
~if u cant handle me at my worst u dont deserve me at my best~

Cactus Ghost
Dec 20, 2003

you can actually inflate your scrote pretty safely with sterile saline, syringes, needles, and aseptic technique. its a niche kink iirc

the saline just slowly gets absorbed into your blood but in the meantime you got a big round smooth distended nutsack

i enjoy good food

Cursed Lumberjack
Nov 14, 2006
A rather unfortunate logger indeed.

Dave Concepcion posted:

~if u cant handle me at my worst u dont deserve me at my best~

Google Translate (Crazy) -> (English) posted:

~i am bipolar~

Dave Concepcion
Mar 19, 2012
shame on you dude, that's ridiculously narrowminded











girls with borderline personality disorders also write it, not just the bipolar ones

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug
i thought i was rid of the fattish overly attached tinder match but this morning at 7:30am i got a message "hey i think i'm gonna delete this app, is it cool if i add you on facebook?"

newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug
my reply was "fb, c'est privé" which isnt the worst find imo

Dave Concepcion
Mar 19, 2012
you know you can block people, right?

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newreply.php
Dec 24, 2009

Pillbug
yeah i know but i think that's rude. i'll always try to drop ~10 hints and then not reply, and only block if they send >3 messages after that. which isnt rude at all

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