CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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lilljonas: May 6, 2007; We got crabs? We got crabs!

Alexzandvar posted:

rip

loving done, or done loving? I honestly doubt the latter.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:48

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 14:08

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

Pretty lovely bribe package to give reviewers/journalists, IMO.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:49

Venom Snake: Feb 19, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

The fact anyone actually banged her still mystifies me, she must be insane in bed with the lights off or nerds are literally to desperate to live

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:51

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Alexzandvar posted:

rip

oh man it's almost like she likes this attention

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:52

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Alexzandvar posted:

The fact anyone actually banged her still mystifies me, she must be insane in bed with the lights off or nerds are literally to desperate to live

I'm going with cwolumn B because she apparently doesn't shower a whole lot either

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:53

Shadoer: Aug 31, 2011; Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!

Spanish Manlove posted:

oh man it's almost like she likes this attention

Hey its like +$200 a month to her Paetron account.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:53

the panacea: May 10, 2008

Meanwhile marketing executives are angry about the fact they overspent millions in the last decade on actual bribes.

Who could've known the bar was so low?

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:54

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Shadoer posted:

Hey its like +$200 a month to her Paetron account.

how much is it at now?

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:55

Venom Snake: Feb 19, 2014; by Nyc_Tattoo

the panacea posted:

Meanwhile marketing executives are angry about the fact they overspent millions in the last decade on actual bribes.

Who could've known the bar was so low?

Looking forward to the leaked sex tape of David Gaider and Geoff Keighly.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:56

matrocious: Feb 7, 2011

Gaming has lost it's innocence. Noble game journalists have their integrity tempted by a vagina. Adams and Eve part II.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:57

cthulhoo: Jun 18, 2012

Alexzandvar posted:

Looking forward to the leaked sex tape of David Gaider and Geoff Keighly.

10/10 would fap

# ? Aug 21, 2014 14:58

Shadoer: Aug 31, 2011; Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!

Spanish Manlove posted:

how much is it at now?

$2147.00 a month for simply existing.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:02

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Shadoer posted:

$2147.00 a month for simply existing.

she's almost making a public school teacher's salary thanks to witless nerds and this is what I'm the most actually angry about

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:06

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

this is a hilarious shitfest yet I'm still not sure what its all about tbh

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:07

Zzulu: May 15, 2009; (â°ËvËâ°)

i think some purple haired fat chick hosed some balding nerd

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:08

paint dry: Feb 8, 2005

Ahundredbux posted:

this is a hilarious shitfest yet I'm still not sure what its all about tbh

gamers hating women of course

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:08

Junkfist: Oct 7, 2004; FRIEND?

~BITING META-METACOMMENTARY~

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:10

coleman francis: Aug 8, 2007; Tap tap
The ketchup bottle
None will come
Then axolotl; Hair Elf

remember girls, sleep your way to a comfy patreon paycheck and live la vida loca. Taste the superior morality

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:13

Leon Einstein: Feb 6, 2012; I must win every thread in GBS. I don't care how much banal semantic quibbling and shitty posts it takes.

Alexzandvar posted:

The fact anyone actually banged her still mystifies me, she must be insane in bed with the lights off or nerds are literally to desperate to live

There are much uglier women than her getting laid on the reg. Many guys have no standards. I'm surprised that this surprises anyone.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:15

SPACE HOMOS: Jan 12, 2005

Spanish Manlove posted:

she's almost making a public school teacher's salary thanks to witless nerds and this is what I'm the most actually angry about

In a perfect world come tax time she'd get hosed on an audit.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:16

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

Greetings,
As a moderator of polygon forums I must cordially invite you to join us at polygon! Polygon is a meme sharing website, but it also features gaming news and memes! If you find this post funny, I have posted it as well in the polygon forums too, which I humbly mod

, but join us on the biggest network of athiest scientists on the interwebs who do fair unbiased gaming news.

Polygon
Colin Campbell, Moderator, Athiest, and Scholar

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:17

Abandon: Nov 23, 2006

madeupfred posted:

http://www.reddit.com/r/gaming/comments/2dz0gs/totalbiscuit_discusses_the_state_of_games/

Look at that comment section, ahaha.

no click zone

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:19

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

it's funny cause it's like nerds being angry about nerds being angry about nerds being angry about some crappy "indie game dev" getting laid

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:19

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

Ahundredbux posted:

it's funny cause it's like nerds being angry about nerds being angry about nerds being angry about some crappy "indie game dev" getting laid

I don't think that's it.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:20

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

well its also the bit about integrity of game journalism and who gives a poo poo about that

and her being a hypocrite but i dont really know who she is in the first palce

lets just agree that its really funny to laugh at everyone involved

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:22

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

SPACE HOMOS posted:

In a perfect world come tax time she'd get hosed on an audit.

there's still hope :unsmith:

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:23

Mister Fister: May 17, 2008; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
KILL-GORE

I love the smell of dead Palestinians in the morning.
You know, one time we had Gaza bombed for 26 days
(and counting!)

Shadoer posted:

$2147.00 a month for simply existing.

http://pastebin.com/1ZAen9iJ

Hello Patreon,

In a world where add revenue and indie developer funds become increasingly more unstable and unpredictable, this is an amazing platform. Bringing entertainment artists the financial support that keeps them doing what they love and entertaining their fans is a noble cause, and one that I'm sure does not come without it's responsibilities.

I'm sure it is evident how the reputation of a company is built on it's integrants. A company associated with reputable people is by extension a reputable company. It is also evident that it works both ways: a company's reputation also suffers with the reputation of those with whom they associate.

Now of course, while it is true that if most of the people who are associated with a company are generally known as liars or scoundrels, the reputation of the company will suffer; it is also true that one bad egg will ruin you omelet, even if it is an enormous omelet as is your company.

My point, (although made through extenuating and fanciful metaphors so as to lighten the mood) is that if such an egg were to be found it should be eliminated before it has the opportunity to tarnish the reputation of such a delicious omelet. But, of course, I don't have to spell it out for you. You are accomplished business professionals and I don't have to explain the gravity of the situation. This "bad egg" of which I speak is, of course, Zoe Quinn.

Now by this time I am sure you have heard the prominent buzz in social media and popular image boards. And I'm sure you know the gravity of the mistakes she has made deliberately and selfishly in the name of her own, personal gain. Committing concealed acts of violence upon herself only to play the victim to gain popular opinion and support for a game that probably would have otherwise never had gotten on steam. You know that this is a far greater matter then the fraud she committed, this represents the whole of game advertising and the influence that it can have on whether or not a game is successful. This is a matter that can begin and end here, but only if swift and immediate action is taken against the transgressor. A message needs to be sent to the gaming community that this type of behavior is NOT acceptable, and it WILL be met with professional consequences.

We the people can do nothing then perhaps jibber-jabber in her face, and try with words what we know we cannot do without actions. But professional companies like you who are close to her and support her directly can send a message to her and the entire gaming community that this is NOT how it works, and if this goes on consequences WILL be imminent.

I trust that Patreon will take the responsible step; take the first step to what may be a change for the better in video game propaganda and the gaming community in general. In the name of my friends and colleagues I am sorry about what has happend and hope it will be resolved soon.

Yours,

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:26

BAD AT STUFF: May 10, 2012; We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because fuck you.

Ahundredbux posted:

well its also the bit about integrity of game journalism and who gives a poo poo about that

and her being a hypocrite but i dont really know who she is in the first palce

lets just agree that its really funny to laugh at everyone involved

the integrity of game journalism bit is the best thing that could have happened to her, seeing as it distracted everyone from the fact that she was abusing her boyfriend/ex

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:28

Spanish Manlove: Aug 31, 2008; HAILGAYSATAN

Mister Fister posted:

http://pastebin.com/1ZAen9iJ

Hello Patreon,

In a world where add revenue and indie developer funds become increasingly more unstable and unpredictable, this is an amazing platform. Bringing entertainment artists the financial support that keeps them doing what they love and entertaining their fans is a noble cause, and one that I'm sure does not come without it's responsibilities.

I'm sure it is evident how the reputation of a company is built on it's integrants. A company associated with reputable people is by extension a reputable company. It is also evident that it works both ways: a company's reputation also suffers with the reputation of those with whom they associate.

Now of course, while it is true that if most of the people who are associated with a company are generally known as liars or scoundrels, the reputation of the company will suffer; it is also true that one bad egg will ruin you omelet, even if it is an enormous omelet as is your company.

My point, (although made through extenuating and fanciful metaphors so as to lighten the mood) is that if such an egg were to be found it should be eliminated before it has the opportunity to tarnish the reputation of such a delicious omelet. But, of course, I don't have to spell it out for you. You are accomplished business professionals and I don't have to explain the gravity of the situation. This "bad egg" of which I speak is, of course, Zoe Quinn.

Now by this time I am sure you have heard the prominent buzz in social media and popular image boards. And I'm sure you know the gravity of the mistakes she has made deliberately and selfishly in the name of her own, personal gain. Committing concealed acts of violence upon herself only to play the victim to gain popular opinion and support for a game that probably would have otherwise never had gotten on steam. You know that this is a far greater matter then the fraud she committed, this represents the whole of game advertising and the influence that it can have on whether or not a game is successful. This is a matter that can begin and end here, but only if swift and immediate action is taken against the transgressor. A message needs to be sent to the gaming community that this type of behavior is NOT acceptable, and it WILL be met with professional consequences.

We the people can do nothing then perhaps jibber-jabber in her face, and try with words what we know we cannot do without actions. But professional companies like you who are close to her and support her directly can send a message to her and the entire gaming community that this is NOT how it works, and if this goes on consequences WILL be imminent.

I trust that Patreon will take the responsible step; take the first step to what may be a change for the better in video game propaganda and the gaming community in general. In the name of my friends and colleagues I am sorry about what has happend and hope it will be resolved soon.

Yours,

I wish this chain letter would also shut down every other patreon/kickstarter/gofundme/indiegogo campaign as well

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:30

ijii: Mar 17, 2007; I'M APPARENTLY GAY AND MY POSTING SUCKS.

Mimetic posted:

the integrity of game journalism bit is the best thing that could have happened to her, seeing as it distracted everyone from the fact that she was abusing her boyfriend/ex

It be one thing if she was single and having sex with everyone, but cheating and lying to her boyfriend is a lovely thing to do. Integrity of game journalism has been in the shitter for a long time now, why all the fuss about it now? How long ago did Jeff G. leave Gamespot?

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:33

coleman francis: Aug 8, 2007; Tap tap
The ketchup bottle
None will come
Then axolotl; Hair Elf

Is it too late for me to have a sex change so I can stop working so hard to support myself and my family and just be crazy online?

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:33

Lt. Commander Booya: May 21, 2005; nubs off the port bow, ready the image macros

Has anybody mentioned the fact that one of the dudes she cheated with was literally building a room in his house for her live in and yet her bf was not at all suspicious of this fact? cuz lol

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:34

Ahundredbux: Oct 25, 2007; The right to bear arms

Mimetic posted:

the integrity of game journalism bit is the best thing that could have happened to her, seeing as it distracted everyone from the fact that she was abusing her boyfriend/ex

yeah but on the other hand isn't that standard E/N stuff

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:34

01011001: Dec 26, 2012

Lt. Commander Booya posted:

Has anybody mentioned the fact that one of the dudes she cheated with was literally building a room in his house for her live in

man weve come a long way from carrying printers

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:36

BAD AT STUFF: May 10, 2012; We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because fuck you.

Ahundredbux posted:

yeah but on the other hand isn't that standard E/N stuff

in the sense that no one would have given a poo poo anyway?

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:37

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

Lt. Commander Booya posted:

Has anybody mentioned the fact that one of the dudes she cheated with was literally building a room in his house for her live in and yet her bf was not at all suspicious of this fact? cuz lol

Literally building a room or just setting up an existing room for her?

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:37

Twelve Batmans: Dec 24, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Two nerdy dudes make an innocent dick joke about dongles at a work-related convention and lose their jobs and therefore the means by which to support their budding families.

Some whore cheats on her boyfriend to pursue proven salacious relationships involving people with whom she has professional relationships and (some of which) knows to be in some sort of relationship or another. She gets the whole internet to wipe everything about her and has a literal 300-esque phalanx of dicks to protect her from every angle on top of getting even more recognition for her lovely game and the shapeless husk of a body that her ugly soul inhabits.

More like social IN(her)justice.

# ? Aug 21, 2014 15:40