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Someone run one, the peasants are getting restless.
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Aug 23, 2014 23:01
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| # ? May 29, 2024 14:45 |
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I'll run a fight tonight, possibly two if I'm restless this evening. Don't wait up if you're on the edge of sleep, though.
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Aug 24, 2014 06:15
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 Test Tournament, Week 3, Match 2 On the left, the Wild Animals, featuring King the Tigerman of King Cohort, One-Eyed Willie the Serpent Man of Neurion and Sunny the Molemarian of Duckaerobics. On the right, Lucky Team 13 featuring Gorbash the Minotaur of Iunnrais, Gary Barlow the Molemarian of goatface and Sniffles the Kobold of fluppet. I'm honestly pretty giddy about this matchup. King and Gorbash are standing opposite each other, and I'm hopeful that they'll give us a great show tonight.  Sniffles, the archer on the field, opens things up with a shot at Willie. Willie manages a very odd (and badly planned) dodge that I haven't seen before: he jumps away from the arrow, but directly back, so it gets a second chance to hit him. It still doesn't. This does put him about two steps behind his teammates, though, which might actually be meaningful. Gary Barlow claims first blood in a mole-on-mole scratch that upsets Sunny's delicate constitution. Gary continues on with a bite. King and Gorbash aren't far behind them, though, meeting each other just shy of where the moles tangle. Gorbash's first hammerblow misses, and King responds by punching the minotaur's hand, hard enough to bruise the bone, but not hard enough for him to lose the weapon. Two more swings are dodged by the tiger's catlike reflexes, but Gorbash has a helmet sturdy enough to deflect a punch from the tiger.  Then something scarily cunning happens. When Gorbash is manuevered just right, all three members of The Wild Animals surround and attack Gary Barlow while Gorbash is just out of reach. King wrestles the molemarian to the ground and the other two rain iron on him. By the time Gorbash recovers, Gary Barlow is low on unharmed limbs and vomiting uncontrollably.  Sniffles shoots his second arrow, caught here mid-flight, at Sunny. The shot is far less telling than the abuse Gary has taken. The unarmed and unarmored molemarian bleeds to death. I'm awarding the kill to One-Eyed Willie for getting the last hit in, but this was truly a team effort. The serpent slithers over to join the fight against Gorbash, even as the two titans trade body blows. A punch hurts Gorbash's guts even through mail, but King takes a hammer square to the chest and feels ribs break.  Then One-Eyed Willie puts his spear through Gorbash's head in one move and the minotaur dies instantly. The fight is over. Sniffles never gets a third arrow off before he gets a gut punch from King, gets lifted off the ground by his head for Willie to stab him, King rips an arm off and breaks his skull and... well, check the log if you want the gory details. King loving loves to grab his foes by the teeth. Willie finally gives the kobold the mercy of death. The Wild Animals crush Lucky Team 13 3-0. Kills: One-Eyed Willie 3. Combat Log
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Aug 24, 2014 09:00
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Now that was a clash of the titans! In the end, this was less like a 3v3 and more like 3 separate 3v1 matches. There was only one result possible.
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Aug 24, 2014 09:09
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my dad posted:Now that was a clash of the titans! Actually, I disagree--I feel like the gang-up on Gary Barlow is the match's turning point. If it weren't for King taking him down via wrestling, it would have been nearly impossible to get Gary prone, being a four-legged unfeeling molemarian and all. That's why I'm glad I took your advice before the matches began and made King a wrestler, because it's proven to be scarily effective, with or without teammates to back him up. King can quote:King catches Gorbash's right hand with King's left hand! interrupt attacks, and quote:King grabs Sniffles by the small steel helm with his right hand! disarm(or) people, then hit them with it. He's a beast, hence the team! Without Sunny's tankiness and Willie's sheer killing power, though (that loving instant headshot on Gorbash), I don't know how well he'd do. I was hoping our team would be able to overwhelm 13's two melee fighters before Sniffles could do any damage--glad it went the way it did. Fantastic fight, Lucky Team 13. King Cohort fucked around with this message at 09:25 on Aug 24, 2014 |
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Aug 24, 2014 09:20
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King Cohort posted:Actually, I disagree--I feel like the gang-up on Gary Barlow is the match's turning point. If it weren't for King taking him down, it would have been nearly impossible to get Gary prone, being a four-legged unfeeling molemarian and all. I probably worded my post poorly. That's what I meant. The first 3v1 was a spectacular success, and once Gary Barlow went down, it was pretty much all over. Glad to know my advice helped make an interesting fighter.  Smashing a guy's head with his own helmet was probably the most brutal thing in the tournament so far. 
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Aug 24, 2014 09:28
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Looks like I finally lost a bet, but I am still in first place.
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Aug 24, 2014 09:32
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I actually had run this fight and took screenshots just in case nobody had put up a match when I came home from work. Luckily you already did, thanks ZeeToo. The match I ran went similarly to this one, with a 3-0 win for the Wild Animals. Here is my version of the combat log, for anyone curious: Combat Log As a side note I love how the Serpent Men talk in the arena.
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Aug 24, 2014 12:51
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That was a beautiful fight and I couldn't have asked for a more satisfying outcome! I didn't know you could intercept attacks with wrestling and I underestimated how deadly spears are.
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Aug 24, 2014 15:41
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Gary really needs to stop biting people. He is not meant to bite people.
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Aug 24, 2014 15:55
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I would not mind if Willie bit anyone, but he doesn't screw around -- he just goes straight for the stabbin'.
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Aug 24, 2014 16:00
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Great fight guys. We may have lost, but it was a heck of a fight! I can't really feel disappointed by that. Wrestling really does seem amazing in this version. It's possible that a different starting arrangement may have changed how this match went. If King had gone vs Gary instead of vs Gorbash, Gorbash would have had a chance to smash some heads in. But then again, Willie's spear is nasty.
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Aug 24, 2014 16:07
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Does anyone have the edited object testing arena map with the 32 separate rings? It's better for testing than doing fights one by one  Also, is there any chance of adding something to the website whereby we can build fighters and download their macros separately from a tournament? It would be really handy.
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Aug 24, 2014 16:33
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Jack the Lad posted:Does anyone have the edited object testing arena map with the 32 separate rings? It's better for testing than doing fights one by one Seconding. I was going to ask for this once the tournament's over.
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Aug 24, 2014 16:49
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Test Tournament, Week 3, Match 3 On the left, the Nonindicative Name, featuring Likely Shortlived the Human of apostateCourier, IAMAWEREWOLFNOTATIGER the Tiger Man of Anchors and Jack the Human of Jack the Lad. On the right, Little Guys Long Spears featuring Whip It Out the Gremlin of unwantedplatypus, Friendly Friar the Kobold of Ninjavitus and Cat Stevens the Tiger Man of Boing.  The match begins and all of the melee fighters move towards the center of the ring. Friendly Friar looses his first arrow into the fray, and it heads straight for Jack!  In a dazzling flash Jack bats the arrow out of the way with his sword and it collides harmlessly with the wall behind him.  The first two melee fighters meet in the center of the ring! Jack, being slightly faster than the rest, meets up with Whip It Out. But while Jack is faster on his feet, Whip It Out is faster with his hands and gets the first attack!  After Jack dodges the first attack it becomes apparent that Whip It Out will have to face not only him but also IAMAWEREWOLFNOTATIGER! Meanwhile Cat Stevens and Likely Shortlived square off against one another. After some more dodging by both sides Cat Stevens takes initiative and charges Likely Shortlived, sending her backwards onto the ground! After she stands up Cat Stevens gives her a kiss of death by biting her mouth and ripping off her cheek. At the same time Whip It Out successfully lashes Jack in the leg causing him to fall to the ground. Things are looking good for Little Guys Long Spears!  After many attacks on all sides that only bruise fat or muscle Cat Stevens punches Likely Shortlived in the neck, crushing it. This is not enough to bring her down, however. Shortly after IAMAWEREWOLFNOTATIGER brings his maul down on Whip It Out's left foot, causing it to explode! This is enough to take Whip It Out to the ground! Suddenly the tables have turned and Nonindicative Name seems to have the upper hand! But wait! Whip It Out valiantly continues to lash out at his foes and brings IAMAWEREWOLFNOTATIGER to the ground with a lash to his leg! Shortly after however Likely Shortlived cuts Cat Stevens deep in the stomach, causing him to give in to pain! It is not long before Likely Shortlived finishes the job with an expert stab to Cat Stevens skull! The fight's first kill goes to Likely Shortlived!  Soon after Whip It Out fractures IAMAWEREWOLFNOTATIGER'S tail with a sickening CRACK and the Tiger Man gives in to pain! Finally Friendly Friar is able to shoot another arrow. This time it connects with Jack in his leg, chipping bone!  Whip It Out, now with only one dangerous opponent, repeatedly and viciously whips Jack in the head! Unfortunately he takes too long and Likely Shortlived shows up, as the only standing combatant left. Whip It Out is understandably upset about this and responds by immediately fracturing the bones in Likely Shortlived's foot, causing her to give in to pain! This allows Whip It Out to continue lashing at Jack's head, finally succeeding at cracking his skull open and ending his life.  To add insult to injury Friendly Friar fires another arrow at IAMAWEREWOLFNOTATIGER'S already fractured tail. It causes a large amount of pain mere moments before Whip It Out is able to slash through yet another skull and claim the remaining Tiger Man's life!  Now that the only competition is an unconscious Likely Shortlived, Whip It Out makes short work of her similarly to his last two kills.  What a strange battle, ladies and gentlemen. The victory goes to Little Guys Long Spears! Kills: Likely Shortlived - 1, Whip It Out - 3 Combat Log Lesson to learn: Never underestimate a gremlin with a scourge with one foot missing. Holy crap. Silverminnow fucked around with this message at 01:47 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Aug 25, 2014 00:22
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Silverminnow posted:I'm going to go ahead and run the next fight unless anybody minds? Stay tuned to this post, it should be up shortly. I am waiting impatiently.
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Aug 25, 2014 01:02
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Spermy Smurf posted:I am waiting impatiently. It is done.
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Aug 25, 2014 01:49
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drat, that could've gone either way. Good job boys! I complained before about neck-crushing not doing anything. My immersion 
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Aug 25, 2014 02:09
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quote:In a dazzling flash Jack bats the arrow out of the way with his sword and it collides harmlessly with the wall behind him. Also, he died as he lived: hardcore  quote:Whip It Out lashes Jack in the head with his steel scourge, tearing the muscle!
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Aug 25, 2014 02:11
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Who says the big guy has the advantage?
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Aug 25, 2014 02:26
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That little bastard is an amazing fighter. Last fight he was some kind of superhero, and this fight he singlehandedly laid out the entire team. God drat. Edit: I am going to download his macro and let him beat the gently caress out of Knuckle Dragger, Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 02:44 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Aug 25, 2014 02:40
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We might have lost, but Jack is the toughest badass of this tournament. Most fighters pass out after someone cuts their foot or, *ahem* crushes their precious tail, but Jack just keeps trucking through heartstabs and headwounds. Sidenote: I want my next team name to be Heartstabs and Headwounds. Edit: Seriously, I think that's the second time a tail injury has taken my guy out. No constitution. Anchors fucked around with this message at 03:19 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Aug 25, 2014 03:16
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Should have had it removed.
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Aug 25, 2014 04:58
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Khisanth Magus posted:I hold my allies entirely to blame for this outcome! And for me losing almost all of my dwarfbucks, which I bet on what should have been a win! I accept this. Leg blows were Antoinette's kryptonite. Also headwounds. 
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Aug 25, 2014 05:12
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Anchors posted:We might have lost, but Jack is the toughest badass of this tournament. Most fighters pass out after someone cuts their foot or, *ahem* crushes their precious tail, but Jack just keeps trucking through heartstabs and headwounds. I guess toady should make tail armor.
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Aug 25, 2014 06:40
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Khisanth Magus posted:I guess toady should make tail armor. I'm fairly sure modding could allow that already, though I haven't played with it much. Also look for the match of the whole millenium in a bit, as Catholicism takes on pantlessness. e: Holy poo poo, this fight is something else. Stay tuned! ZeeToo fucked around with this message at 08:07 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Aug 25, 2014 07:03
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Test Tournament, Week 3, Match 4 On the left, Four Legs, Four Arms, No Pants features Paper Machete the Elf of Locomotive breath, Spermy the Molemarian of Spermy Smurf and Love the Strangler of Tunicate. On the right, Catholicism features The Pope the Kobold of Coward, Aspenger the Human of iLonie and snarfsnarf the Tigerman of grobbendonk. Also questionable theology; since when have women been allowed to be The Pope?   The Pope's first salvo of missi(le) dominici goes wide. It doesn't even get close enough for anyone to dodge; it's the mark right above Paper Machete. It doesn't take long for the melee fighters to close, though, and Spermy puts a spear into Aspenger's neck. Love bites the same foe, and does her best to wrestle away Aspenger's sword while the human is distracted. Even Paper Machete gets into the action with a bruising sword strike. It's not all going to go one-sided, though. snarfsnarf puts the hurt on Spermy. A kick savages one of the mole's front legs even as a punch mangles his weapon hand beyond salvation. A ferocious body check and the mole is knocked to the floor. Moles cannot feel pain, however.  Spermy is undaunted, and takes the time to line up his remaining spear at snarfsnarf. This thrust cracks open kitty's skull. Paper Machete follows up with a cut to snarfsnarf's shield hand, removing it cleanly at the wrist. Another removes a paw. Love has found a target to savage again. She continues harassing Aspenger, who cannot seem to do much to the strangler. Even when the human hits, the result is that she gets bitten in the neck instantly. Desperation, or perhaps divine guidance, lends Aspenger a hand here. She rips out Love's intestines with a perfect sword slash. Surely that has to slow down Love. Doesn't it? If not, perhaps The Pope can help, as a second arrow tears out more of Love's digestive tract. Nothing doing. Aspenger cuts up both of Love's left arms before the strangler finally gives in to pain. Just in time, too. Paper Machete's sword has removed snarfsnarf's head, so a wounded Aspenger is outnumbered now. Can she really handle all three foes, with or without The Pope's arrows to help? Spermy counters a wild swing from Aspenger, then stabs, but hits only impenetrable iron. Aspenger counters by removing one of the molemarian's arms. Spermy tries again. Wouldn't you know it? Aspenger does the same thing again. Spermy has lost both arms at the shoulder.  That's The Pope's third arrow. She was no help at all so far, and no archer has yet managed to shoot four arrows in a fight. Aspenger continues to savage Spermy, but fails to notice Paper Machete, who cuts her again. She collapses in pain. Spermy and Paper Machete try for a deathblow, but before either one can land one, Spermy abruptly runs out of blood and falls over and dies. Okay. That leaves only Paper Machete and The Pope as functional warriors. Both sides also have one unconscious and one dead team member. A fourth arrow is launched. It further mangles Love, who promptly bleeds to death. Hell, I'm not sure who to give that kill to.  A fifth goes wide. Paper Machete has not yet been hurt, and still cannot figure out how to kill an unconscious Aspenger. That's enough. Aspenger recovers consciousness, and STANDS UP. Let's give her a hand, folks! In anger, Paper Machete kicks out one of Aspenger's teeth, and bites her arm. Steel falls from numb fingers, and Aspenger is disarmed. Even as Aspenger collapses again, The Pope shoots a sixth time. It hits Paper Machete in the spine, paralyzing his legs. It is the first pain Paper has felt all match. Still, the hated Aspenger is right in front of him. Again and again, he drums futilely on the human's head. A seventh arrow falls just short. Finally, finally, his sword finds Aspenger's neck. Now one final test remains for the two living fighters: Paper Machete must drag himself over to the kobold and strike down Catholicism once and for all, without the use of his legs. Before he can do that The Pope needs to strike him dead with an arrow. The winner's team advances. The loser's is out.  The field is set. The eighth arrow flies. Paper Machete catches it on his shield. He inches forward. Ninth. Shield again. The elf is upon the kobold, but she jumps away, putting distance between them. Paper Machete closes the gap. The Pope calmly nocks a tenth arrow. It strikes Paper Machete in the arm. Paper Machete's sword drops. Eleventh. It hits the shield arm, and that drops, too. Paper Machete, faint from the pain of having literally every limb ruined, goes comatose.  The Pope empties her quiver. Bereft of ammo, she begins clubbing Paper Machete in the head with her bow. On the 23rd strike (remembering that the log loses the x[number] mentions for repeats), The Pope finally begins cracking open the elf's skull. Two more fractures later, Paper Machete, completely paralyzed, regains consciousness and begins trying to fight back, probably with his teeth. On the second day of the fight, however, the spine damage is too much, and Paper Machete's lungs give out. He suffocates. What an incredible fight. This is one of the best I've ever seen, but Catholicism defeats Four Legs, Four Arms, No Pants in an unbelievable 3-2 finish. Kills: Paper Machete 2, The Pope 1.5, Aspenger 1.5 Combat Log, aka pages of elf torture porn
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Aug 25, 2014 08:44
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I, for once, feel justified in blaming everyone else on my team for this. But for real though that was a great fight. Hats off to everyone. Well done.
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Aug 25, 2014 08:55
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I'm honestly shocked that The Pope was able to finish that. To be more precise, I'm shocked that Pope didn't faint due to exertion. Testekill fucked around with this message at 09:06 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Aug 25, 2014 08:59
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In retrospect, naming my fighter after the tennis term for 'no points' was a bad idea.
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Aug 25, 2014 09:04
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Holy gently caress I cant believe this entire fight.
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Aug 25, 2014 09:05
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It's amazing that Paper Machete died not from being bludgeoned with a metal bow for two days straight, but from the lung wound days previously, as he lay comatose and beaten.
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Aug 25, 2014 09:06
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What a match. I'm genuinely concerned about the next game. CPFS are a decently built team and may present a credible threat to the Platinum Helms.
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Aug 25, 2014 09:12
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Man that was a good one, those 3-2 matches are always the best!
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Aug 25, 2014 11:55
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Holy loving poo poo. I was 95% sure there was no way we could lose that fight. I will run the next fight sometime today if that's cool with everyone? Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 12:39 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Aug 25, 2014 12:09
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Run the fight, Spermy! Go Platinum Helms! Destroy CPFS and help my team secure their place in the playoffs!
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Aug 25, 2014 13:17
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Test Tournament, Round 3, Match 5 On the left we have Cave Pals Friend Squad with PedAnt the antwoman, Pulpy Van Winkle the Troll, and Nibbles the Kobold. Managers are Reverence, Solid Poopsnake, and Atomicthumbs. On the right we have my pick to win the tournament: The Platinum Helms. Urist McTantrum the dwarf, Mikorin the elf, and Sister Abigail the Antoman. Managers are my dad, Tarezax, and Frozen_Flame! I have not run the fight yet so I have no idea who wins this, I just like the builds on Platinum Helms, they all took it serious and it looks really good on paper. Lets get it on!   The fighters charge from their corners to meet in the center of the arena. The large Troll Pulpy Van Winkle lags a step behind.  First blood goes to Sister Abigail who stabs Nibbles right in the neck and follows through by charging the smaller fighter. Nibbles is sent tumbling backwards, stunned!  Meanwhile PedAnt stabls Urist in the leg, but is unable to penetrate the steel boot. Sister Abigail shows why 4 arms are good and attacks Pulpy Van Winkle from behind as she charges the kobold. She neatly severs his left hand at the wrist! Mikorin charges and knocks Sister Abigail down as the troll dodges out of the way.  Now the fighters trade blows, glancing off of armor for the most part. Urist McTantrum hits PedAnt to no avail, and is struck back in return. Pulpy Van Winkle smashes Mikorin but only causes a bruse. Pulpy Van Winkle abandons finesse and charges Urist McTantrum, sending the smaller dwarf to the floor. Sister Abigail takes a foot from Nibbles the stunned kobold! PedAnt stabs Urist McTantrum in the stomach, but again is unable to penetrate the steel mail he is wearing. That is two fight-changing shots that PedAnt has made, both of which were blocked by armor. Sister Abigail is some kind of sword-swinging robot and takes Nibbles' left arm off. PedAnt again stabs Urist McTantrum but cannot get through the steel armor. That's 3 stabs that could change the fight that have been blocked by armor.  Mikorin decides he's had enough of the troll and slices off Pulpy Van Winkle's other hand! There is now water on the arena floor and I could not figure out where it came from. Apparently the troll is bleeding so much that it's creating 2-levels deep of blood which is slowly spreading out onto the floor. Finally, PedAnt's persistence pays off and she manages to fracture Urist McTantrum's leg!  Sister Abigail continues mutilating poor Nibbles who bleeds out a moment later.  Mikorin stabs the large troll in the leg, breaking the bone! PedAnt continues to swing at Urist and continues to be frustrated by his armor. Mikorin turns from the handless Troll and chops off one of PedAnts arms just as PedAnt smashes Urist McTantrum in the mouth. In a shocking maneuver, the completely handless troll manages to grab Urist McTantrum with his stumps! Nothing happens, I just thought it was funny. Pulpy Van Winkle gets stabbed in the eye, then the eyelid a split second later, followed by the mouth. After a few more blows Pulpy Van Winkle finally falls to the floor. Mikorin wastes no time and turns from the downed troll to swing at the distracted antwoman. PedAnt is killed when Mikorin cuts her throax in twain.  Urist McTantrum is down with a hundred injuries, but manages to cut Pulpy Van Winkle's head off to finish the fight. Platinum Helms win with a decisive 3-0 victory! Combat Log Spermy Smurf fucked around with this message at 14:20 on Aug 25, 2014 |
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Aug 25, 2014 14:10
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That certainly was something...
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Aug 25, 2014 16:30
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I was under the impression that steel spears would go through steel armor, but that was clearly not the case here. That would have changed the entire fight and been a relatively easy victory for the other team I think.
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Aug 25, 2014 16:34
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| # ? May 29, 2024 14:45 |
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Spermy Smurf posted:I was under the impression that steel spears would go through steel armor, but that was clearly not the case here. That would have changed the entire fight and been a relatively easy victory for the other team I think. At first I thought maybe Urist had more than one steel mail equipped, or maybe a steel and another mail, as the spear would have to defeat both layers before reaching internals, but that would be a pretty expensive build. IIRC mail is very resistant to edged attacks, though.
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Aug 25, 2014 17:36
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