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Noctis Horrendae
Nov 1, 2013

Paramemetic posted:

Jews are cool, and a lot of Lodges have a solid Jewish representation, sometimes more than Christian, depending on the region, because some Christians get weird about it.

We have Jewish members on this very forum.


As was already addressed, Blacks can join any lodge. They often tend to join Prince Hall lodges, because they are predominantly Black and have a history dating back to the Revolutionary War, where most African-Americans were not "free born" in the 1700s and so the acceptance of African-Americans into the lodges would have been trickier.

There are lodges where minorities are functionally barred from joining, but this is because of the racism of the members, not the organizations.

Gotcha, thanks for the extensive clarification.

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shame on an IGA
Apr 8, 2005

Since it came up, has there been any progress on the handful of states that still don't recognize Prince Hall lodges? I'm in SC and this thread has piqued my interest in masonry but I'm reluctant to explore it while that's an issue.

Specifically, I don't want to be visiting a lodge in a non-backwater and find myself obligated to leave because some Prince Hall guys are there and irregular to my lodge. Didn't someone have a story similar to that earlier in the thread?

3 Action Economist
May 22, 2002

Educate. Agitate. Liberate.

PrinceRandom posted:

What's the history of Jews like with Freemasonry? It seemed to be a primarily a Protestant thing at the beginning.

Hi. I'm a Jewish Freemason.

The degree work uses the building of Solomon's Temple, so it's all good.

Glorified Scrivener
May 4, 2007

His tongue it could not speak, but only flatter.

The Proc posted:

Since it came up, has there been any progress on the handful of states that still don't recognize Prince Hall lodges? I'm in SC and this thread has piqued my interest in masonry but I'm reluctant to explore it while that's an issue.

Specifically, I don't want to be visiting a lodge in a non-backwater and find myself obligated to leave because some Prince Hall guys are there and irregular to my lodge. Didn't someone have a story similar to that earlier in the thread?

Interesting, I'd never actually thought through the ramifications of sitting in lodge in a another jurisdiction who'd recognized another GL that my own hadn't. Since I hold membership in two jurisdictions, there are probably some scenarios where I'd run afoul of this myself. Ignorance being a good defense, I'm not going to compare MT and NM's recognition books side by side unless I have to.

My gut reaction is that while you're a guest in a lodge of another jurisdiction, you'd take your cues from them and their GL, at least for the duration of a single meeting. This puts you in the bind of violating the letter of your obligations though and excusing yourself from the meeting would be proper, if inescapably rude. You'd have the cold comfort that you were doing the right thing.

In a perfect world the issue wouldn't come up - there shouldn't be a set of circumstances where Grand Lodge A recognizes Grand Lodge B & C, but B & C don't recognize each other, allowing for things like newly formed Grand Lodges and the time it takes for recognition proceedings to work through the bureaucracy. The GL of MT just recognized the PH GL of Maryland, and already recognizes several others, so the situation is improving in some places, albeit slowly and incrementally. Hopefully it's something no one has to worry about in a few decades.

You could also use the possibility of the scenario as a reason to proactively pester your GL about recognition? I understand that that might be an unrewarding and unpleasant labor though.

I always figured that if work takes me to the south east I'd affiliate with a Prince Hall lodge instead of an A/F&M, if they'd have me. Edit: Which I know doesn't help you any, sorry.

Glorified Scrivener fucked around with this message at 00:38 on Aug 26, 2014

Count Thrashula
Jun 1, 2003

Death is nothing compared to vindication.
Buglord

Colonial Air Force posted:

Hi. I'm a Jewish Freemason.

The degree work uses the building of Solomon's Temple, so it's all good.

Are you in any of the appendant bodies? There are certain degrees in the York and Scottish Rites that I think would be difficult for a Jewish Mason to go through in good conscience. Well, the York Rite degrees obviously, but I'm just curious if you've been through the YR or SR degrees.

Crab Dad
Dec 28, 2002

behold i have tempered and refined thee, but not as silver; as CRAB


My hall has quite a few Hindus and we get visitors from India at least once a year. No black men that I've met though we do have quite a few Mexican Americans.

Loomer
Dec 19, 2007

A Very Special Hell

PrinceRandom posted:

What's the history of Jews like with Freemasonry? It seemed to be a primarily a Protestant thing at the beginning.

There were a couple of Jewish fellas in there at the very beginning in England, as I recall. Basically it's 'so what, they're jews. Let 'em in' with a few lodges blackballing them and others not giving a gently caress.

Also, since it ties into the earlier conversation, the recognition of Prince Hall freemasonry outside America is much, much more limited. We don't recognize them here in the GL of NSW&ACT, but that's not due to malice - it's because there are no Prince Hall masons in Australia and any black freemasons are just part of the 'regular' fraternal order here. To be frank it seems a bit of a silly divide to still have from a foreign perspective, but I can understand why both sides are reluctant to just merge. I'd be interested in attending a PH third degree sometime, if I ever visit America, to see how it differs from the mainstream American third degree and how both differ from the Australian one.

WAFFLEHOUND
Apr 26, 2007

The Proc posted:

Since it came up, has there been any progress on the handful of states that still don't recognize Prince Hall lodges? I'm in SC and this thread has piqued my interest in masonry but I'm reluctant to explore it while that's an issue.

Specifically, I don't want to be visiting a lodge in a non-backwater and find myself obligated to leave because some Prince Hall guys are there and irregular to my lodge. Didn't someone have a story similar to that earlier in the thread?

Unironically join Prince Hall.

3 Action Economist
May 22, 2002

Educate. Agitate. Liberate.

COOL CORN posted:

Are you in any of the appendant bodies? There are certain degrees in the York and Scottish Rites that I think would be difficult for a Jewish Mason to go through in good conscience. Well, the York Rite degrees obviously, but I'm just curious if you've been through the YR or SR degrees.

I'm in Scottish Rite, it was fine. I'm not in York Rite for the reasons you're probably aware of.

Emron
Aug 2, 2005

The Proc posted:

Since it came up, has there been any progress on the handful of states that still don't recognize Prince Hall lodges? I'm in SC and this thread has piqued my interest in masonry but I'm reluctant to explore it while that's an issue.

Specifically, I don't want to be visiting a lodge in a non-backwater and find myself obligated to leave because some Prince Hall guys are there and irregular to my lodge. Didn't someone have a story similar to that earlier in the thread?

I got my EA and FC in WV, then demitted to Ohio for my MM, and WV not recognizing Prince Hall caused some issues with that. WV actually stopped recognizing Ohio as legitimate because Ohio recognized Prince Hall, and as such it was difficult to demit. I did my MM as courtesy work in an Ohio lodge (that I'm now a member of), and they were initially very hesitant to allow me due to the bad blood between the two states.

There's a longer and fascinating story of the very dramatic beginning of that situation which I can type up tonight if y'all want. The very short version is that, as usual, it was caused my racist members and not the system. It just so happened that the racist members were grand lodge officers.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

Area 51. You heard of it, right?





Fallen Rib

Emron posted:

I got my EA and FC in WV, then demitted to Ohio for my MM, and WV not recognizing Prince Hall caused some issues with that. WV actually stopped recognizing Ohio as legitimate because Ohio recognized Prince Hall, and as such it was difficult to demit. I did my MM as courtesy work in an Ohio lodge (that I'm now a member of), and they were initially very hesitant to allow me due to the bad blood between the two states.

There's a longer and fascinating story of the very dramatic beginning of that situation which I can type up tonight if y'all want. The very short version is that, as usual, it was caused my racist members and not the system. It just so happened that the racist members were grand lodge officers.

My understanding of the WV-OH spat was that it was mainly about the issue of ex-PGM Frank Haas. The way it went down in my understanding is that WV PGM Frank Haas had made some pretty sweeping reform by edict as GM. I know a lot of those reforms were things like having the US Flag in Lodge, admitting people with disabilities or deformities from war, and some other things like that. I didn't know PG recognition was part of that, was it? Anyhow, when Frank Haas' tenure as GM ended, incoming GM Gregory Riley expelled Haas and his closer supporters and officers by edict, cleaned house on the officers of his mother lodge who opposed it (and I believe revoked their charter), and reversed by edict all of Haas' reforms.

Haas had a house in Steubenville, OH, and was put through the degrees again in a special one day class for him at Steubenville. My Masonic mentor was present and had the pleasure of shaking PGM Haas' hand and telling him that if he really applies himself, he might just make something of himself in Masonry. Anyhow, West Virginia revoked recognition of Ohio, claiming that Ohio had stepped onto their jurisdiction and was not recognizing their sovereignty. Ohio never derecognized WV, and this was largely a "at the highest level" thing, as on the SE Ohio-WV Border there was "off the records" attendance on both sides by members from the other to help fill lines for degree work and so on. It was made a lot more bitter because Haas sued WV GL AF&AM, resulting in a sort of a draw where the court said WV was in the wrong for expelling him based on the grounds provided, but recognized the WV GM's absolute right to do it regardless of whether or not the reasoning was just or sound.

I know this because I grew up in WV but became a Mason in Ohio, and to this date I still have not sat in Lodge in my hometown, because it's only in the last 2 years or so that it's resolved itself (Ohio revoked their recognition of Haas as a Mason). It's interesting to hear about it from a WV perspective because I've never communicated Masonically with a WV Mason, so I'd like to hear the story from your perspective.

I don't think I'm clandestine in WV anymore since OH basically backpedaled on the whole thing and I believe WV and OH are back on good terms, so it'd be good to hear about this.

Unless, of course, this was another issue of derecognition, or a more recent issue (I'm a MD Mason now as well, so I really only follow MD AF&AM news, not so much OH F&AM news anymore). I know WV derecognized a bunch of states when they originally recognized PG, but extended recognition again when it got to the point that they were no longer in good standing with the Conference of Grand Masters in North America as a result of not recognizing most of the assembly.

Actually, WV has derecognized everyone so many times that it's hard to keep track and we might be talking about different derecognitions of Ohio at different times. WV AF&AM is kind of the North Korea of Masonry, in that regard, bless them. I do hope to sit in Wheeling Lodge No. 1 someday.

Emron
Aug 2, 2005

Paramemetic posted:

My understanding of the WV-OH spat was that it was mainly about the issue of ex-PGM Frank Haas. The way it went down in my understanding is that WV PGM Frank Haas had made some pretty sweeping reform by edict as GM. I know a lot of those reforms were things like having the US Flag in Lodge, admitting people with disabilities or deformities from war, and some other things like that. I didn't know PG recognition was part of that, was it? Anyhow, when Frank Haas' tenure as GM ended, incoming GM Gregory Riley expelled Haas and his closer supporters and officers by edict, cleaned house on the officers of his mother lodge who opposed it (and I believe revoked their charter), and reversed by edict all of Haas' reforms.

Haas had a house in Steubenville, OH, and was put through the degrees again in a special one day class for him at Steubenville. My Masonic mentor was present and had the pleasure of shaking PGM Haas' hand and telling him that if he really applies himself, he might just make something of himself in Masonry. Anyhow, West Virginia revoked recognition of Ohio, claiming that Ohio had stepped onto their jurisdiction and was not recognizing their sovereignty. Ohio never derecognized WV, and this was largely a "at the highest level" thing, as on the SE Ohio-WV Border there was "off the records" attendance on both sides by members from the other to help fill lines for degree work and so on. It was made a lot more bitter because Haas sued WV GL AF&AM, resulting in a sort of a draw where the court said WV was in the wrong for expelling him based on the grounds provided, but recognized the WV GM's absolute right to do it regardless of whether or not the reasoning was just or sound.

I know this because I grew up in WV but became a Mason in Ohio, and to this date I still have not sat in Lodge in my hometown, because it's only in the last 2 years or so that it's resolved itself (Ohio revoked their recognition of Haas as a Mason). It's interesting to hear about it from a WV perspective because I've never communicated Masonically with a WV Mason, so I'd like to hear the story from your perspective.

I don't think I'm clandestine in WV anymore since OH basically backpedaled on the whole thing and I believe WV and OH are back on good terms, so it'd be good to hear about this.

Unless, of course, this was another issue of derecognition, or a more recent issue (I'm a MD Mason now as well, so I really only follow MD AF&AM news, not so much OH F&AM news anymore). I know WV derecognized a bunch of states when they originally recognized PG, but extended recognition again when it got to the point that they were no longer in good standing with the Conference of Grand Masters in North America as a result of not recognizing most of the assembly.

Actually, WV has derecognized everyone so many times that it's hard to keep track and we might be talking about different derecognitions of Ohio at different times. WV AF&AM is kind of the North Korea of Masonry, in that regard, bless them. I do hope to sit in Wheeling Lodge No. 1 someday.

You've got a lot more in depth knowledge on it than I do. My father is a 33rd in the valley of Steubenville, but is a blue member in WV. I heard it all secondhand from him.

The version I heard was that the GM of WV visited Haas for his father getting his fifty year pin. Haas offered honors to the WV GM by offering the gavel. He took it, gaveled the lodge to order, seated his officers, and held a Masonic trial where he found Haas as in violation or whatever. It sounded super dramatic, but I was not a brother at that point so it was secondhand.

I had heard the "sweeping reforms" bit, and I think that recognizing PH was a part of that. Regardless, the whole spat was embarrassing and I'm glad the states are on speaking terms again. Thanks for the insight, brother! That was cool to see more into it.

Emron fucked around with this message at 14:37 on Aug 26, 2014

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

Area 51. You heard of it, right?





Fallen Rib

Emron posted:

You've got a lot more in depth knowledge on it than I do. My father is a 33rd in the valley of Steubenville, but is a blue member in WV. I heard it all secondhand from him.

The version I heard was that the GM of WV visited Ohio for their GM's father getting his fifty year pin. Ohio offered honors to the WV GM by offering the gavel. He took it, gaveled the lodge to order, seated his officers, and held a Masonic trial where he found the Ohio GM as in violation or whatever. It sounded super dramatic, but I was not a brother at that point so it was secondhand.

I had heard the "sweeping reforms" bit, and I think that recognizing PH was a part of that. Regardless, the whole spat was embarrassing and I'm glad the states are on speaking terms again. Thanks for the insight, brother! That was cool to see more into it.

I would not be surprised if that happened, because that is exactly what I'd heard he did at Frank Haas' mother lodge. My understanding is he rolled up with his officers after having been asked to resolve some issues resulting from Frank's expulsion. When they offered him the gavel, he took it, then expelled half the lodge by edict, revoked the charter, then took the charter with him and left.

Emron
Aug 2, 2005

Paramemetic posted:

I would not be surprised if that happened, because that is exactly what I'd heard he did at Frank Haas' mother lodge. My understanding is he rolled up with his officers after having been asked to resolve some issues resulting from Frank's expulsion. When they offered him the gavel, he took it, then expelled half the lodge by edict, revoked the charter, then took the charter with him and left.

I always describe the Masonic philosophy as "don't be a dick, but especially don't be a dick to a mason." This fuckin guy broke the code.

3 Action Economist
May 22, 2002

Educate. Agitate. Liberate.
Yeah that's so un-Masonic, it's like the perfect example to use as "this is the opposite of a Mason."

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

Area 51. You heard of it, right?





Fallen Rib
It can't be unmasonic if he's the Grandmaster amirite???

But yeah it was an unfortunate time in WV's Masonic history. Similarly, Ohio was probably in the wrong putting Frank through the degrees after he'd been expelled. Technically, it's true, Ohio had the right to bring him up after WV expelled him, but it was a clear and deliberate act of disregard for WV's masonic jurisdiction, no matter how abusive WV was being.

Lovable Luciferian
Jul 10, 2007

Flashing my onyx masonic ring at 5 cent wing n trivia night at Dinglers Sports Bar - Ozma

Paramemetic posted:

I would not be surprised if that happened, because that is exactly what I'd heard he did at Frank Haas' mother lodge. My understanding is he rolled up with his officers after having been asked to resolve some issues resulting from Frank's expulsion. When they offered him the gavel, he took it, then expelled half the lodge by edict, revoked the charter, then took the charter with him and left.

Holy cow, what a fuckhead.

So as far as you know all of this bad blood is settled now?

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

Area 51. You heard of it, right?





Fallen Rib
My understanding is that we're back in mutual recognition after a new Ohio GM caved and declared Frank's second raising etc. to have been improper, since you can only receive the work once.

Loomer
Dec 19, 2007

A Very Special Hell

Paramemetic posted:

I would not be surprised if that happened, because that is exactly what I'd heard he did at Frank Haas' mother lodge. My understanding is he rolled up with his officers after having been asked to resolve some issues resulting from Frank's expulsion. When they offered him the gavel, he took it, then expelled half the lodge by edict, revoked the charter, then took the charter with him and left.

Good god. That makes he difficulties my lodge has with the Grand Lodge seem downright tame.

Emron
Aug 2, 2005

It really was some Red Wedding poo poo.

Sub Rosa
Jun 9, 2010




Glorified Scrivener posted:

I always figured that if work takes me to the south east I'd affiliate with a Prince Hall lodge instead of an A/F&M, if they'd have me.
My understanding is that that states that recognize Prince Hall only recognize Prince Hall in states wherein the regular Grand Lodge recognizes Prince Hall. My understanding (and I asked rather pointed questions on this exact point) I'm beholden both to the Grand Lodge under which I'm a member and the Grand Lodge of the state I'm physically in. This also means that if you are a member of a lodge that doesn't recognize Prince Hall, you can't visit a Prince Hall lodge even if you travel to a state wherein Prince Hall is recognized. I made it very clear this was why I would not join the lodge in my home town in Tennessee. However my understanding is that there would not be any problem in a Tennessee mason visiting a regular North Carolina lodge where Prince Hall members were present.

Keetron
Sep 26, 2008

Check out my enormous testicles in my TFLC log!

Paramemetic posted:

I would not be surprised if that happened, because that is exactly what I'd heard he did at Frank Haas' mother lodge. My understanding is he rolled up with his officers after having been asked to resolve some issues resulting from Frank's expulsion. When they offered him the gavel, he took it, then expelled half the lodge by edict, revoked the charter, then took the charter with him and left.

Wow. Even being on the other side of the globe this hurts my masonic heart just reading it. In a way, he is lucky to having been able to leave with all his limbs, on the other hand it says something about the respect for masonic authority they actually let him do all this without throwing a chair at him or something. I mean, how the hell did he get his hands on the charter to begin with?

About Prince Hall, if they are recognized by the GLoE then they are recognized by us as well. It is pretty straightforward to be honest.

Something else, but I might be visiting Hong Kong sometimes in the not to distant future and I found a British lodge there. The requirements here are puzzling, any of you know more?

quote:

Overseas visitors

Members of Lodges and other Masonic orders overseas, which are recognised as regular by the Grand Lodges of Scotland and Ireland, are very welcome at Zetland Hall and may use all of the facilities. Visitors from recognised foreign Constitutions are very welcome to visit English Lodges and Chapters, however they should in the first instance obtain clearance from their respective Grand Secretary through the Grand Secretary of the United Grand Lodge of England before the visit takes place. Visitors must also be in possession of relevant masonic credentials. On arrival, please introduce yourself to the General Manager and sign the visitors book.

Loomer
Dec 19, 2007

A Very Special Hell

Keetron posted:

I mean, how the hell did he get his hands on the charter to begin with?

In our lodge, the charter is kept on display in front of the WM's dais with the swords, for any brother to inspect at will (though obviously he must salute, etc, and state intentions since it's on the dais) before, during or after lodge. So if it's like ours, he just plain picked it up and left with it.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

Area 51. You heard of it, right?





Fallen Rib
As the Grandmaster it is at his pleasure that a charter exists at all. He is free to revoke it, and at that point it belongs to him.

legsarerequired
Dec 31, 2007
College Slice
Is anyone here in co-masonry?

WAFFLEHOUND
Apr 26, 2007
This is the Masonry thread.

Glorified Scrivener
May 4, 2007

His tongue it could not speak, but only flatter.

legsarerequired posted:

Is anyone here in co-masonry?

I don't recall seeing anyone post to the thread who was involved in co-masonry. I think we're mostly stuffy old UGLE recognizing types.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

Area 51. You heard of it, right?





Fallen Rib
It was discussed but since the vast majority of us in this thread not only do not but can not recognize co-masons as masons, nor discuss masonry with them, it was more or less decided that it's better to keep this thread about regular lodges and appendant bodies.

Emron
Aug 2, 2005

Though that's not to say that we don't have opinions on it. But like Parametric said, we are literally obligated to not recognize it.

Glorified Scrivener
May 4, 2007

His tongue it could not speak, but only flatter.

Paramemetic posted:

It was discussed but since the vast majority of us in this thread not only do not but can not recognize co-masons as masons, nor discuss masonry with them, it was more or less decided that it's better to keep this thread about regular lodges and appendant bodies.

Ah, well, lapse of memory, apologies.

NPR had a fairly decent piece on the Craft on All Things yesterday. The amount of crazy in the comment thread is even fairly restrained, as far as these things usually go.

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

Area 51. You heard of it, right?





Fallen Rib
My wife sent that to me earlier today, it was pretty good. I wonder if any of our Washington brothers are familiar with that lodge?

Flying Fortress
Oct 23, 2008

zapplez posted:

Any Ontario masons in this thread? Preferablly Durham Region or Kawartha lakes area? Shot in the dark I know. Thinking about joining up but have some questions.

Ontario Mason here, but south-western ON, Kitchener-Waterloo area. Feel free to PM me though and I'll do my best to answer any questions.

edit: Just submitted my application to join the Scottish Rite. More light!

Sithsaber
Apr 8, 2014

by Ion Helmet

legsarerequired posted:

Is anyone here in co-masonry?

Seeing how some here are in favor of welcoming transmen, not being in fellowship with women and comasons smacks of partisanship. It seems that petty feuds linked to tradition have a lot of weight.

Ps. I planned on bringing up comasons when I got back but thought better of it after considering the context.

WAFFLEHOUND
Apr 26, 2007
Transmen are men, we are a men's organization. You weren't meant to return, please take into consideration that essentially everyone has asked you to stop posting in here, Sithsaber.

T.S. Smelliot
Apr 23, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

legsarerequired posted:

Is anyone here in co-masonry?

SUFFER NOT THE XENOS TO LIVE

Sithsaber
Apr 8, 2014

by Ion Helmet

WAFFLEHOUND posted:

Transmen are men, we are a men's organization. You weren't meant to return, please take into consideration that essentially everyone has asked you to stop posting in here, Sithsaber.

I'll leave this thread with the common sense statement that the men only rule was made during the era of man=penis. If we are not going by that basic tenant, everything else involving the roles of the sexes needs to be jettisoned. On the other hand I should forget about the philosophy and solely focus on the social club aspects of freemasonry. Nobody wants the wives to interfere with sharing beer and bbq.



At this juncture I've sadly written you guys off as a vestige of fraternity culture. The ideals and norms of your lineage are hopelessly diluted, and back in the day I probably would have sided with the blacks (hall) the commies and the esoteric syncretists.


Do what pleases you regardless of my opinion.

Sithsaber fucked around with this message at 04:03 on Aug 29, 2014

Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine
You should stay, you're a rare and aberrant breed of whackjob and dealing with the regular selection of NWO/Secret Rulers Of The World wonks makes one hunger for variety.

PrinceRandom
Feb 26, 2013

Sithsaber posted:

I'll leave this thread with the common sense statement that the men only rule was made during the era of man=penis. If we are not going by that basic tenant, everything else involving the roles of the sexes needs to be jettisoned. On the other hand I should forget about the philosophy and solely focus on the social club aspects of freemasonry. Nobody wants the wives to interfere with sharing beer and bbq.



At this juncture I've sadly written you guys off as a vestige of fraternity culture. The ideals and norms of your lineage are hopelessly diluted, and back in the day I probably would have sided with the blacks (hall) the commies and the esoteric syncretists.


Do what pleases you regardless of my opinion.

That was a great freshman english paragraph; I tip my trilby at you.

Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine
I love the part where he blames the social aspect despite every drat actual Mason in thread mentioning that it is a ritualistic requirement that cannot be compromised on. But yes, fear of an XX barbecue keeps us a megafrat.

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Sithsaber
Apr 8, 2014

by Ion Helmet

Mr. Maltose posted:

I love the part where he blames the social aspect despite every drat actual Mason in thread mentioning that it is a ritualistic requirement that cannot be compromised on. But yes, fear of an XX barbecue keeps us a megafrat.

The ritual is basically anathema to the idea that gender is a construct and that sex is nuanced. Transexuality is utterly foreign to the belief in man's place in the spiritual hierarchy. That's why I call your ritual diluted. Something can't be sacrosanct and relative at the same friggin' time.

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