CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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Contra Calculus: Nov 6, 2009; Gravy Boat 2k

Vag Assault Weapon posted:

What's this poo poo about her real name being Chelsea Van Valkenburg and magically appearing in 2010 to cash in as a GAMER GURL? Conspiracy poo poo or legit?

that sounds a little more on the side of conspiracy poo poo to me tbh

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:12

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# ? May 16, 2024 08:48

Vag Assault Weapon: Aug 12, 2014

Maybe, I'm not actively following 4chan or reddit threads about it but from the stuff I'm seeing on the AMA people are saying her online presence doesn't go back further than 2010 at all and there's apparently pictures of someone with the other name and tattoos that are the same but reddit mods are deleting all the good comments on that AMA

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:18

Junkfist: Oct 7, 2004; FRIEND?

That's her given name yes but I just assumed she changed it to something as quirkily millennial as "Zoe Quinn" out of general I'm-a-butterfly craziness.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:19

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

A lot of whois sites list that name with zoey quinn.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:25

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

horriblePencilist posted:

Guy who got owned hard by a furry.

Posting this again because how sad do you have to be to get owned this hard by a furry

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:25

Codependent Poster: Oct 20, 2003

Unban that dude.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:26

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Codependent Poster posted:

Unban that dude and ban Zoe.

Fixed it for you.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:27

Cowman: Feb 14, 2006; Beware the Cow

http://youtubedoubler.com/dh4o

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:30

XK: Jul 9, 2001; Star Citizen is everywhere. It is all around us. Even now, in this very room. You can see it's fidelity when you look out your window or when you watch youtube

Vag Assault Weapon posted:

What's this poo poo about her real name being Chelsea Van Valkenburg and magically appearing in 2010 to cash in as a GAMER GURL? Conspiracy poo poo or legit?

That name is apparently completely legit and connected to several of her known internet personas.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:30

The Brown Menace: Dec 24, 2010; Now comes in all colors.

Sephiroth_IRA posted:

Zoey Quinn does sound like a pseudonym.

it isnt her actual name, her actual name is dutch as hell

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:31

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

Some ex-reddit mod of games typed this up. Wasn't that chupls guy human being who was talking to Zoe on Twitter, but some fall guy for leaks. Pretty funny.

quote:

When I woke up this morning to find myself banned from the private and public IRCs, demodded and banned from /r/Games and its private equivalent for mods, I was beyond shocked. I tried asking my friend, a mod, what had happened. I got no reply. I logged onto the IRC using a web IRC service as my own user was unable to access it. I asked one of the room regulars that I know, and he was very helpful. He had no idea what had happened either, and when he asked the same mod he was told that they weren't commenting on it. This didn't really help either of us. He was very good about talking me through my newfound loss of something I'd spent a year and a half caring for, several hours each day. So I thank you for that, though I won't name you here so that you won't get in trouble.

When I thought about it I figured out what had happened. Yesterday morning a series of pictures starting making the rounds in 4chan, and eventually subreddits like /r/Gaming. It claimed to feature an /r/Games moderator giving up information about lots of things. After a bunch of analysis we had a lot to show for the theory that the "leak" wasn't a leak at all, but was instead done by someone outside our team using materials that were accidentally made public. I had accidentally made those materials public by linking my puush album, unknowingly open, to the public IRC. I could say that because I'd been awake for three days and hadn't eaten in the same time that this is excusable, but it isn't. I never like making excuses. With the leak though there was something that we didn't know how they could've obtained: a few lines from our private IRC. Four or five I believe, showing a joke that another mod had made and taken out of context to make him appear bad. I didn't want to suspect any of my brothers of leaking, so I went through every possible option besides that. I still don't want to suspect them of anything, but I guess that's not a mutual arrangement.

Once we were made aware of this leak, the mod primarily mentioned in it immediately began suspecting me of being behind it. Together we found many inconsistencies in this, plus the fact that it could only be bad for me and gained me nothing would make the action odd. Still he suspected me, and without a better target I don't really blame him. We had ruled out irc admins ghosting in, reasonably so anyway, when I decided that I couldn't work any longer and went to sleep for the first time since the bulk of this drama started. When I woke up, of course, everything was gone.

I know why it happened. Someone had mentioned it the other day. If nobody is blamed for it then there will be no trust and no kind of integrity for the team. Someone has to take the fall, and unfortunately finding out the real culprit is impossible. I was suspected by the person named in those leaks, and this last task fell to me. Never mind that I spend many hours every day improving /r/Games, talking to people to get AMAs, answering questions, clearing reports, and have been doing these things for a year and a half. Never mind that I frequently tell anyone who will listen that I want /r/Games to be the best subreddit on the website, and that I want us, the mods, to be the best to suit that. Never mind that the only thing I could possibly gain from such a misinformed leak is, well, this. I still don't blame them for anything, even now. For the last year and a half /r/Games has been my escape from depression, and the mods and users have been some of my greatest friends. I can't blame the people I laughed with in skype calls or made fart jokes with on Steam, or even the ones I argued with occasionally on IRC. I spent a very long time getting to know them all, and we went through various trials to get to where we are. Drama after scandal after shitstorm, a never ending test that we always came out of on top. I can't think lowly of them, nor will I ever.

So what do I do now? I'm not sure. I'm writing this paragraph hoping the answer comes to me before I finish this sentence so that I can have something to lean on. I can't think of anything. I'm just a lonely man with a crap job whose life is now gone. Everything I do is done through routine, revolving around sleep and medicine. Today at 4PM when I'd usually be going over the /new queue and looking for blogspam and whatnot, I think I'll just have to sit here. Maybe finally watch Firefly. I don't know what else to do. I haven't done anything else at 4PM since 2012.

I'm getting slightly off topic. I woke up an hour ago as of this writing and I'm still in minor disbelief at what that hour has brought me. Quite a long time ago I was in a little country called Kuwait, and awoke one night to find scorpions walking along my legs. The next hour was full of careful maneuvering in order to avoid being dead. Somehow, I feel like I'd rather be back in Kuwait. Those scorpions were just animals. They didn't know me. They had no reason not to sting me. It was much simpler there. I got off topic again.

Anyway, that's really all I have to say. The other mods will no doubt reply to this, but I don't know of I'll reply to them. Just writing this has been a challenge for me. I don't know if I can do it again. I didn't expect anyone to listen to this at first, but in the past hour I've had a lot of people message me and tell me that I've always been a good mod and a good person, and I can't thank them enough. You've all made a massive difference to me, and though it's entirely possible now we'll never speak again, I'll remember those messages.

Thank you for reading. If you have any questions for me, [try contacting me on steam](http://steamcommunity.com/id/XavierMendel/) because it's possible I won't be able to get your PM. I'd put my Skype down too but I don't think I'll be in a state to talk to anyone today.

It was much simpler then :negative:

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:40

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

Why would anyone want to be a mod?

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:42

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

What is with 90% of forum mods being pathetic sacks of poo poo?

Lowtax, make me mod of games, thanks.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:42

Design Spots: Jan 24, 2009; by XyloJW

Sephiroth_IRA posted:

Why would anyone want to be a mod?

check your priveledge

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:43

Aidopunko: Oct 12, 2012

big duck equals goose posted:

What is with 90% of forum mods being pathetic sacks of poo poo?

Lowtax, make me mod of games, thanks.

Might have something to do with forums being populated by pathetic sacks of poo poo on the whole.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:44

Design Spots: Jan 24, 2009; by XyloJW

Aidopunko posted:

Might have something to do with forums being populated by pathetic sacks of poo poo on the whole.

Abe is still an admin, yet im not banned yet.

youve some splaining to do.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:45

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

Abe died after he tried to murder or gently caress a small child on twitter.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:46

boom boom boom: Jun 28, 2012; by Shine

big duck equals goose posted:

What is with 90% of forum mods being pathetic sacks of poo poo?

Lowtax, make me mod of games, thanks.

There's a background check. you can't be a mod on SA if you aren't a sexual predator, so go post your dick in ladychat or do a sex vacation in Thailand, then ask again

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:46

Aidopunko: Oct 12, 2012

Design Spots posted:

Abe is still an admin, yet im not banned yet.

youve some splaining to do.

I said on the whole, so obv there are exceptions :colbert:

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:46

DOMDOM: Apr 28, 2007; Fun Shoe

quote:

So what do I do now? I'm not sure. I'm writing this paragraph hoping the answer comes to me before I finish this sentence so that I can have something to lean on. I can't think of anything. I'm just a lonely man with a crap job whose life is now gone.

i don't know, why dont you try playing games

wait - does anyone even play games anymore?

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:47

Design Spots: Jan 24, 2009; by XyloJW

big duck equals goose posted:

Abe died after he tried to murder or gently caress a small child on twitter.

god did that years ago, just use lambs blood or something

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:47

Al Nipper: May 7, 2008; by XyloJW

Vag Assault Weapon posted:

Page 131 reminder this waste of oxygen has begged the internet to send her money for a most likely mythological mugging, a new laptop so she could "program better" (a pentium 133 could handle all her 'games') and eventually realized how easy it was begging for poo poo so now has a patreon account just to continue existing without even pretending to make 'games' anymore.

She's amazing. Gaming's own Hipster Grifter.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:47

Mister Fister: May 17, 2008; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
KILL-GORE

I love the smell of dead Palestinians in the morning.
You know, one time we had Gaza bombed for 26 days
(and counting!)

Pawn 17 posted:

Fixed it for you.

Actually Zoe popping in here would be peak entertainment.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:47

Design Spots: Jan 24, 2009; by XyloJW

Spanish manlove or whatever his name is gonna que me up for the drunk tank soon.

that's fine,

it's called policing.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:48

A. Beaverhausen: Nov 11, 2008; by R. Guyovich

Mister Fister posted:

Actually Zoe popping in here would be peak entertainment.

What makes you think she hasn't :tinfoil:

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:53

Chamale: Jul 11, 2010; I'm helping!

big duck equals goose posted:

Abe died after he tried to murder or gently caress a small child on twitter.

Did he really tweet-proposition a child? I'd love to see that story in full

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:53

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

edit: eh probably not.

Sephiroth_IRA fucked around with this message at 04:00 on Aug 26, 2014

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:55

MJeff: Jun 2, 2011; THE LIAR

big duck equals goose posted:

Some ex-reddit mod of games typed this up. Wasn't that chupls guy human being who was talking to Zoe on Twitter, but some fall guy for leaks. Pretty funny.

It was much simpler then

tl;d-fuckin-r

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:59

Best Friends: Nov 4, 2011

Gamers love giving free money to pieces of poo poo who make garbage. Lol at her only making a couple grand a month and mega lol at people who think that's rich person money.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 03:59

Design Spots: Jan 24, 2009; by XyloJW

Best Friends posted:

Gamers love giving free money to pieces of poo poo who make garbage. Lol at her only making a couple grand a month and mega lol at people who think that's rich person money.

i like your av

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:00

Man Whore: Jan 6, 2012; ASK ME ABOUT SPHERICAL CATS
=3

VJeff posted:

tl;d-fuckin-r

He'd rather be back in desert storm than not be a mod of reddit or some poo poo like that.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:00

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

$2500 is pretty good for not having to lift a finger. That's enough to pay the bills in my state.

edit: equivalent to a $14.40 an hour full time job.

Sephiroth_IRA fucked around with this message at 04:04 on Aug 26, 2014

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:01

Mister Fister: May 17, 2008; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
KILL-GORE

I love the smell of dead Palestinians in the morning.
You know, one time we had Gaza bombed for 26 days
(and counting!)

Best Friends posted:

Gamers love giving free money to pieces of poo poo who make garbage. Lol at her only making a couple grand a month and mega lol at people who think that's rich person money.

But she does no work. Plus she's scamming people in other ways like her Game Jam donations that go directly to her personal paypal account. She basically gets paid to be a nuisance on the Internet.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:01

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

I remember seeing one drive to buy her a laptop. She asked for like $700 and ended up with 2k.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:03

Mister Fister: May 17, 2008; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
KILL-GORE

I love the smell of dead Palestinians in the morning.
You know, one time we had Gaza bombed for 26 days
(and counting!)

http://np.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/2ekx0e/im_zoe_quinns_ex_ama/ck0har0

:laffo:

I admire Zoe's grifting skills.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:03

Vag Assault Weapon: Aug 12, 2014

I don't think anybody has said she's getting rich from this, she's quite literally sleeping her way to the bottom and the patheticness of it makes it even more entertaining

And this is the end of the road for her grifting, there was only a big surge of patreon bullshit because people were getting the slanted side of her claims but now her wolf cries have been heard by too many people for her to ever pull another GOT ROBBED GIMME MONEY successfully

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:04

01011001: Dec 26, 2012

Vag Assault Weapon posted:

What's this poo poo about her real name being Chelsea Van Valkenburg and magically appearing in 2010 to cash in as a GAMER GURL? Conspiracy poo poo or legit?

the idea of someone going to those lengths to cash in on the indie game scene is genuinely bizarre, to me

Sephiroth_IRA posted:

$2500 is pretty good for not having to lift a finger. That's enough to pay the bills in my state.

edit: equivalent to a $14.40 an hour job.

wasnt it usually closer to 1k/month before this whole mess

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:04

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

01011001 posted:

the idea of someone going to those lengths to cash in on the indie game scene is genuinely bizarre, to me

wasnt it usually closer to 1k/month before this whole mess

I think $1300 or something but yeah.

edit which is the equivalent of $7.50 an hour. She had the min wage beat by a quarter. lol that's basically what the typical monthly social security benefit is.

Sephiroth_IRA fucked around with this message at 04:09 on Aug 26, 2014

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:05

Best Friends: Nov 4, 2011

Mister Fister posted:

But she does no work.

Yeah like I said gamers love giving money for garbage but you're right gamers also love giving money to nothing.

She should move up to promising spaceship games.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:12

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# ? May 16, 2024 08:48

Trash Trick: Apr 17, 2014

There's nothing wrong with giving her money.

# ? Aug 26, 2014 04:14

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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