CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

Adventure Pigeon posted:

yeah. but even that doesn't matter much, it's not like steam has a good games only requirement. there's plenty of poo poo so it'll fit in well.

But does that poo poo get awarded for being "Brilliant works of genius" by various media outlets, even if it's clickbait garbage?

I think not! Now where is my Kotaku review of that one game where it's a really bad buggy first person shooter and the ending is "You hosed your sister" and see a gigantic anime wallscroll? Haha

Edit: Seriously, I wanna see people defend that. If Zoe made that, would people rate it good?

Edit two: The name of that game is Only If.

big duck equals goose fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Aug 27, 2014

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:20

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 15:03

Pleasant Friend: Dec 30, 2008

Abu Dave posted:

You want a story well here's a story; I used to run a fansite dedicated to a decently popular karaoke singing game on the PlayStation 2 published by a big publisher. I had a moderator on my message board who went by the name of "DJK8E". "DJK8E" said she was a model of the age of 20 years old and posted pictures of her in our Post Your Pic thread.Because I was like 13 and thirsty as hell, i had installed a "Browse Private Messages" hack onto my forums, to see what my members were sharing with each other in private.

Well DJK8E and a Senior Producer at the big publisher were flirting with each other, and not of the PG-13 kind!!!!! It got to the point where she had his direct cell phone, and ee even offered her the ability to choose songs for the next Karaoke Singing Game. Now she wasn't even in marketing or a developer or anything! She was just a 20 year old babe!!!

Even better, the producer offered DJK8E a Exhibitor Pass to E3 2004 if she would come see him. She agreed, DJK8E flew out to Los Angeles and plans were for her to meet him at the backdoor to the E3 Hall so that he could sneak her in without having to be validated. But guess what happened on the day of the Convention? DJK8E was "sick", and she sent her boy cousin in her place to visit E3 with a basically limitless pass. So a 12 year old forum troll managed to socially engineer getting to pick the songs that appear in a multi-million dollar video game, and a pass into E3 by flirting and sending fake nudes with a Senior Producer of a major publisher.

But nope you guys there is no corruption in the video game industry!!!!!

Not Singstar.... will the corruption ever end :'(

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:20

Sophy Wackles: Dec 17, 2000; > access main security grid
access: PERMISSION DENIED.

Abu Dave posted:

You want a story well here's a story; I used to run a fansite dedicated to a decently popular karaoke singing game on the PlayStation 2 published by a big publisher. I had a moderator on my message board who went by the name of "DJK8E". "DJK8E" said she was a model of the age of 20 years old and posted pictures of her in our Post Your Pic thread.Because I was like 13 and thirsty as hell, i had installed a "Browse Private Messages" hack onto my forums, to see what my members were sharing with each other in private.

Well DJK8E and a Senior Producer at the big publisher were flirting with each other, and not of the PG-13 kind!!!!! It got to the point where she had his direct cell phone, and ee even offered her the ability to choose songs for the next Karaoke Singing Game. Now she wasn't even in marketing or a developer or anything! She was just a 20 year old babe!!!

Even better, the producer offered DJK8E a Exhibitor Pass to E3 2004 if she would come see him. She agreed, DJK8E flew out to Los Angeles and plans were for her to meet him at the backdoor to the E3 Hall so that he could sneak her in without having to be validated. But guess what happened on the day of the Convention? DJK8E was "sick", and she sent her boy cousin in her place to visit E3 with a basically limitless pass. So a 12 year old forum troll managed to socially engineer getting to pick the songs that appear in a multi-million dollar video game, and a pass into E3 by flirting and sending fake nudes with a Senior Producer of a major publisher.

But nope you guys there is no corruption in the video game industry!!!!!

Hahaha this owns.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:22

horriblePencilist: Oct 18, 2012; It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

The only people who defend this SJW are turbo nerds who only consume pop culture (and cheeseburgers lol) which can be a bit backwards about equal representation sometimes. With that being their only frame of reference, of course they're gonna think the real world is full of misogynistic and homophobic pigs.
Remember that time when a trans woman became senator and tumblr people complained she was white and rich?

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:25

Adventure Pigeon: Nov 8, 2005; I am a master storyteller.

big duck equals goose posted:

But does that poo poo get awarded for being "Brilliant works of genius" by various media outlets, even if it's clickbait garbage?

I think not! Now where is my Kotaku review of that one game where it's a really bad buggy first person shooter and the ending is "You hosed your sister" and see a gigantic anime wallscroll? Haha

Edit: Seriously, I wanna see people defend that. If Zoe made that, would people rate it good?

Edit two: The name of that game is Only If.

that's kinda a separate issue though. gaming media has always been a corrupt shithole. usually they sell out for cash, this time they're selling out because of sex or personal connections, or maybe just a confusion of tumblrite social justice with actual progressivism. the end result is a few more people realize that gaming media is terrible and everyone involved goes back to being irrelevant.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:25

Shitty Wizard: Jan 2, 2013; ASK ME WHY
I VOTED
FOR TRUMP

Did any retards post a 5 word post about how people are getting mad over nerd poo poo yet? Bonus points for bad grammar and a lack of period.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:28

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

I'm no fool, man. I know gaming journalism is dumb and stupid and garbage. But I can't help but feel that maybe, and just maybe, people should be like "Yeah, the jig is up. We are sorry." and fire all the current writers for kotaku for starters. Get some fresh blood in there, make a statement like "We sacked those fags. Don't worry, you are getting straight awesome cool journalism now" and then maybe sell out for mountain dew and dorroit packages when the next call of duty game comes out. Say how the cyber-dog sequence in it breaks normal gaming norms or something but don't gently caress the call of duty dev because he needs to learn his place.

I dunno.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:28

coleman francis: Aug 8, 2007; Tap tap
The ketchup bottle
None will come
Then axolotl; Hair Elf

This post is worse than ISIS

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:29

horriblePencilist: Oct 18, 2012; It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

Pleasant Friend posted:

Not Singstar.... will the corruption ever end :'(

Is he the reason why Singstar 80s had this awful track list? I'm blaming him.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:30

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

coleman francis posted:

This post is worse than ISIS

Someone hire this dude for Kotaku, he's got spunk and I like that.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:31

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

Abu Dave posted:

You want a story well here's a story; I used to run a fansite dedicated to a decently popular karaoke singing game on the PlayStation 2 published by a big publisher. I had a moderator on my message board who went by the name of "DJK8E". "DJK8E" said she was a model of the age of 20 years old and posted pictures of her in our Post Your Pic thread.Because I was like 13 and thirsty as hell, i had installed a "Browse Private Messages" hack onto my forums, to see what my members were sharing with each other in private.

Well DJK8E and a Senior Producer at the big publisher were flirting with each other, and not of the PG-13 kind!!!!! It got to the point where she had his direct cell phone, and ee even offered her the ability to choose songs for the next Karaoke Singing Game. Now she wasn't even in marketing or a developer or anything! She was just a 20 year old babe!!!

Even better, the producer offered DJK8E a Exhibitor Pass to E3 2004 if she would come see him. She agreed, DJK8E flew out to Los Angeles and plans were for her to meet him at the backdoor to the E3 Hall so that he could sneak her in without having to be validated. But guess what happened on the day of the Convention? DJK8E was "sick", and she sent her boy cousin in her place to visit E3 with a basically limitless pass. So a 12 year old forum troll managed to socially engineer getting to pick the songs that appear in a multi-million dollar video game, and a pass into E3 by flirting and sending fake nudes with a Senior Producer of a major publisher.

But nope you guys there is no corruption in the video game industry!!!!!

hosed up if true.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:33

Kilmers Elbow: Jun 15, 2012

Abu Dave posted:

You want a story well here's a story; I used to run a fansite dedicated to a decently popular karaoke singing game on the PlayStation 2 published by a big publisher. I had a moderator on my message board who went by the name of "DJK8E". "DJK8E" said she was a model of the age of 20 years old and posted pictures of her in our Post Your Pic thread.Because I was like 13 and thirsty as hell, i had installed a "Browse Private Messages" hack onto my forums, to see what my members were sharing with each other in private.

Well DJK8E and a Senior Producer at the big publisher were flirting with each other, and not of the PG-13 kind!!!!! It got to the point where she had his direct cell phone, and ee even offered her the ability to choose songs for the next Karaoke Singing Game. Now she wasn't even in marketing or a developer or anything! She was just a 20 year old babe!!!

Even better, the producer offered DJK8E a Exhibitor Pass to E3 2004 if she would come see him. She agreed, DJK8E flew out to Los Angeles and plans were for her to meet him at the backdoor to the E3 Hall so that he could sneak her in without having to be validated. But guess what happened on the day of the Convention? DJK8E was "sick", and she sent her boy cousin in her place to visit E3 with a basically limitless pass. So a 12 year old forum troll managed to socially engineer getting to pick the songs that appear in a multi-million dollar video game, and a pass into E3 by flirting and sending fake nudes with a Senior Producer of a major publisher.

That reads like the alibi for a Senior Producer after he got caught with his dick up a 12yr old boy.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:35

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

Abu Dave posted:

You want a story well here's a story; I used to run a fansite dedicated to a decently popular karaoke singing game on the PlayStation 2 published by a big publisher. I had a moderator on my message board who went by the name of "DJK8E". "DJK8E" said she was a model of the age of 20 years old and posted pictures of her in our Post Your Pic thread.Because I was like 13 and thirsty as hell, i had installed a "Browse Private Messages" hack onto my forums, to see what my members were sharing with each other in private.

Well DJK8E and a Senior Producer at the big publisher were flirting with each other, and not of the PG-13 kind!!!!! It got to the point where she had his direct cell phone, and ee even offered her the ability to choose songs for the next Karaoke Singing Game. Now she wasn't even in marketing or a developer or anything! She was just a 20 year old babe!!!

Even better, the producer offered DJK8E a Exhibitor Pass to E3 2004 if she would come see him. She agreed, DJK8E flew out to Los Angeles and plans were for her to meet him at the backdoor to the E3 Hall so that he could sneak her in without having to be validated. But guess what happened on the day of the Convention? DJK8E was "sick", and she sent her boy cousin in her place to visit E3 with a basically limitless pass. So a 12 year old forum troll managed to socially engineer getting to pick the songs that appear in a multi-million dollar video game, and a pass into E3 by flirting and sending fake nudes with a Senior Producer of a major publisher.

But nope you guys there is no corruption in the video game industry!!!!!

That kid rules, lol.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:40

Mister Fister: May 17, 2008; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
KILL-GORE

I love the smell of dead Palestinians in the morning.
You know, one time we had Gaza bombed for 26 days
(and counting!)

http://np.reddit.com/r/Drama/comments/2ekx0e/im_zoe_quinns_ex_ama/ck1cjaf

:laugh:

Why am i not surprised.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:43

horriblePencilist: Oct 18, 2012; It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

Ian Cheong is an rear end in a top hat and Zoe Quinn is okay with that.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:53

WilltheMagicAsian: Dec 11, 2011

That's kind of reaching

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:59

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

I feel the same way.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 00:59

Fathis Munk: Feb 23, 2013; ??? ?

Sephiroth_IRA posted:

I feel the same way.

I guess they haven't seen cucking mama yet.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:01

horriblePencilist: Oct 18, 2012; It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

^^ I haven't seen Cucking Mama once on 4chan. I think it's barely been spread.
e: nvm someone just posted it

WilltheMagicAsian posted:

That's kind of reaching

Pretty much everyone else who donated had connections like through college with her, plus she was unknown and this is his only contribution to IndieGoGo.

horriblePencilist fucked around with this message at 01:09 on Aug 27, 2014

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:03

horriblePencilist: Oct 18, 2012; It's a Dirt Devil!
Get it?

Hahaha even though that Kotaku apology was nothing journalists are mad regardless

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:12

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

hahaha

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:13

big duck equals goose: Nov 7, 2006; by XyloJW

Not really sure how they are going to police that, but whatever.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:13

Rubellavator: Aug 16, 2007

that policy seems backwards

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:15

Paladinus: Jan 11, 2014; heyHEYYYY!!!

horriblePencilist posted:

Ian Cheong is an rear end in a top hat and Zoe Quinn is okay with that.

Lol, this is an unironic video.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VFkVMM_xB7U

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:18

Shadoer: Aug 31, 2011; Zoe Quinn is one of many women targeted by the Gamergate harassment campaign.

Support a feminist today!

big duck equals goose posted:

Not really sure how they are going to police that, but whatever.

Basically they say you can't and if you get caught, you're hosed. Generally same deal for reporters covering politics. If they are caught donating to a political campaign, their hosed with most news outlets. Only way for them to do it is super anonymously.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:19

Adventure Pigeon: Nov 8, 2005; I am a master storyteller.

big duck equals goose posted:

Not really sure how they are going to police that, but whatever.

it's a non-policy. some babby fake reporters throwing their fists around in a twitter hissy fit is going to be the largest outcome.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:29

UltimoDragonQuest: Oct 5, 2011

Some indie devs are getting mad beause people were rude on twitter and now they can't get sweet Kotakubucks.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:30

DrPaper: Aug 29, 2011

UltimoDragonQuest posted:

Some indie devs are getting mad beause people were rude on twitter and now they can't get sweet Kotakubucks.

no not my cuckbucks

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:31

Shinjobi: Jul 10, 2008; Gravy Boat 2k

horriblePencilist posted:

Hahaha even though that Kotaku apology was nothing journalists are mad regardless

"How DARE they indirectly admit that conflict of interest has run rampant in our prestigious video game journalism industry! The nerve! *throws money at anyone willing to cuck him*"

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:31

Sephiroth_IRA: Mar 31, 2010

If they gave a little bit they'll give more.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:32

Man Whore: Jan 6, 2012; ASK ME ABOUT SPHERICAL CATS
=3

horriblePencilist posted:

rude

Is there a new thread about this in games or something?

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:37

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

horriblePencilist posted:

This guy is hella rad, just look at his tweets.

lol this guy owns

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:40

Venusian Weasel: Nov 18, 2011

Man Whore posted:

Is there a new thread about this in games or something?

No, probably just the LP thread. You know, where all the tumblrites congregated for dangit ronpaul.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:43

rainy day: Jul 20, 2009; by Ralp

Shinjobi posted:

"How DARE they indirectly admit that conflict of interest has run rampant in our prestigious video game journalism industry! The nerve! *throws money at anyone willing to cuck him*"

have they instated a policy about not accepting gifts from video game publishers or running corporate advertisements or does kotaku's "objectivity" only extend to free text games and youtube rants no one gives a poo poo about.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:45

jalopybrown: Oct 11, 2012

rainy day posted:

have they instated a policy about not accepting gifts from video game publishers or running corporate advertisements or does kotaku's "objectivity" only extend to free text games and youtube rants no one gives a poo poo about.

the rule is not to fund devs, nothing about devs funding you

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:50

Empress Brosephine: Mar 31, 2012; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

jeffrey gerstmann is getting sassy on twitter right now about the whole thing maybe someone should look into them reviewing games that aren't bastion that they're friends with (borderlands, dance central etc etc(

# ? Aug 27, 2014 01:51

Slanderer: May 6, 2007

horriblePencilist posted:

Ian Cheong is an rear end in a top hat and Zoe Quinn is okay with that.

I'm honestly not even sure what this dumb loving thing is supposed to be implying

# ? Aug 27, 2014 02:07

Automata 10 Pack: Jun 21, 2007; Ten games published by Automata, on one cassette

I like it better when Jeff reviews and trashes his friends games.

# ? Aug 27, 2014 02:10

facebook jihad: Dec 18, 2007; by R. Guyovich

so did anything new happen today or is this thread just full of goons having orgasms over week old video game related drama

# ? Aug 27, 2014 02:32

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 16, 2024 15:03

Explosive Tampons: Jul 9, 2014; Your days are gone!!!

Abu Dave posted:

You want a story well here's a story; I used to run a fansite dedicated to a decently popular karaoke singing game on the PlayStation 2 published by a big publisher. I had a moderator on my message board who went by the name of "DJK8E". "DJK8E" said she was a model of the age of 20 years old and posted pictures of her in our Post Your Pic thread.Because I was like 13 and thirsty as hell, i had installed a "Browse Private Messages" hack onto my forums, to see what my members were sharing with each other in private.

Well DJK8E and a Senior Producer at the big publisher were flirting with each other, and not of the PG-13 kind!!!!! It got to the point where she had his direct cell phone, and ee even offered her the ability to choose songs for the next Karaoke Singing Game. Now she wasn't even in marketing or a developer or anything! She was just a 20 year old babe!!!

Even better, the producer offered DJK8E a Exhibitor Pass to E3 2004 if she would come see him. She agreed, DJK8E flew out to Los Angeles and plans were for her to meet him at the backdoor to the E3 Hall so that he could sneak her in without having to be validated. But guess what happened on the day of the Convention? DJK8E was "sick", and she sent her boy cousin in her place to visit E3 with a basically limitless pass. So a 12 year old forum troll managed to socially engineer getting to pick the songs that appear in a multi-million dollar video game, and a pass into E3 by flirting and sending fake nudes with a Senior Producer of a major publisher.

But nope you guys there is no corruption in the video game industry!!!!!

zero_tangible_proof.rtf

# ? Aug 27, 2014 02:36

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > CuckQuest+: A Tale of Five Guys and a Lady? {read the OP}

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