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Rapner
May 7, 2013


We should buy Tackleford, set them up as a feeder and shackle them to us for their past crimes.

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cbx
Dec 4, 2007

Smasher Dynamo's assistant of the Super-League.

habeasdorkus posted:

Fools! You doubt ME?! You would remain in the hinterlands of the soccer world were it not for the coruscating brilliance of my genius, bereft of anything but the hope that you might one day sneak back into the Football League! I have delivered glory, and I will continue to delivery glory!

Bow before me, mortals! Look upon my works, and delight that I have allowed you to witness them!

Let's hope that they're only looking upon your works here and not in the Super-League, otherwise they might have more ammo against you. ;)

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

I remembered that in this Universe, Scott Brown joined Wrexham on October 24, 2014. Are you going to write something special on that day?

Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 12:29 on Sep 3, 2014

Xtanstic
Nov 23, 2007

165 mil, C

Seems we are on the verge of slipping into our old habits of letting leads slip away. Let's get rid of this unpleasantness by purchasing a superstar defender shall we?

i81icu812
Dec 5, 2006
Wait, how is Mali so good? Can we steal any of their players?

Rapner
May 7, 2013


130m, C.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

i81icu812 posted:

Wait, how is Mali so good? Can we steal any of their players?

They weren't really the 4th best team in the world. They happened to win the Cup of Nations, and haven't played a non-African team for the last several years. They didn't make it to the 2022 World Cup, while they didn't lose in qualifying they were in a tough group and finished just behind Cote d'Ivoire. The FIFA rankings are really silly as a whole, in real life the United States was ranked 6th going into the 2006 World Cup because we'd won the Gold Cup and made the final of the Confederations Cup. Only 1-2 players on that 2006 squad could have played for a Champions League level team.

cbx posted:

Let's hope that they're only looking upon your works here and not in the Super-League, otherwise they might have more ammo against you. ;)

Hey! I showed my acumen and ability by drafting Cy Old!

Munin
Nov 14, 2004


£120 million budget - I'm happy with Mr Brown's £130 million suggestion for the transfer and wage budget.

C - I don't see how having both a feeder and an affiliate would overstretch our resources. Best get both.


Can you actually have a PL feeder under the current rules?

Ghostwoods
May 9, 2013

Say "Cheese!"
£175 mil, to offset the skinflints suggesting £110.
C), because it's clearly the best bet.

Obliterati
Nov 13, 2012

Pain is inevitable.
Suffering is optional.
Thunderdome is forever.

Munin posted:

Can you actually have a PL feeder under the current rules?

I don't know if the board would necessarily offer one, but speaking from experience if your feeder gets promoted into your division it doesn't automatically get cancelled, so probably?

Zip!
Aug 14, 2008

Keep on pushing
little buddy

£100m - Spend the rest on upgrading the facilities, it can't cost £75m surely?

Whichever option gives the best possible chance of developing our players

The Sandman
Jun 23, 2013

Okay!

So, I've, like, designed a really sweet attack plan that I'm calling Attack Plan Ded Moroz, like "Deadmau5!"

WUB!
£120 million, because if I know one thing about budgets it's that whatever amount is requested is always a bit more than the amount they'd be perfectly happy with. Spend the rest on improving our facilities to world-class.

C. We need both, so we might as well go for it. China, India or Brazil would be our best bets for our profile-raising club, I think. Put our feeder club in the Balearics, they're practically English anyway.

DariusLikewise
Oct 4, 2008

You wore that on Halloween?
£175 and C.

Go Hog Wild.

GO FUCK YOURSELF
Aug 19, 2004

"I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who beat you, and pray for them to beat the shit out of the Buckeyes" - The Book of Witten
130mm and c

KKKLIP ART
Sep 3, 2004

Tackleford as a feeder would be delicious.

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them

KKKLIP ART posted:

Tackleford as a feeder would be delicious.

Nah we want someone high profile remember? :v:

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.

ThePenIsMightier posted:

One final question for the man who could turn Wrexham into London if he cared to try: What do I have to do to see a proper Balance Sheet these days? I know that the standard reporting method was moved to screen-caps after the great auditor revolt of 2014, but I'd like to have some breakdown of how club value is measured instead of an opaque single number at the end of each year.

Oh, and I didn't quite catch your meaning here. I'm happy to supply whatever info I can but I'm not positive what you're looking for.

Lynneth
Sep 13, 2011
155 mil and C)

Sky Shadowing
Feb 13, 2012

At least we're not the Thalmor (yet)

habeasdorkus posted:



Once is coincidence and twice is happenstance, but this is suspicious. I'm guessing that we've seen AJ_Impy and Sky Shadowing take over clubs because they were forced to leave their Presidency due to term limits enforced by the savegame editor, and their ingame character still wants to run a football club. And since the game doesn't differentiate between presidents of Fan Trusts and rich guys who can buy their own club the game decides that they have the resources to plonk down millions of pounds for a new one.

Reading appear safely midtable with four games left to play, while Sky Shadowing's Southampton needs one point to clinch promotion from the Championship back to the EPL. It looks like Wrexham is taking over the Premier League in a wholly seperate manner than I intended.

Nonsense, the Shadowing family bought Southampton because we own Shadowing Sports Network, Britain's premier sports network, with our flagship commentator, Jim Ross. The flagship provider of all Southampton games, and maybe if we can ink a deal, all Wrexham games too?

Dane
Jun 18, 2003

mmm... creamy.
130 million and C.

canti32
Apr 27, 2008

Fearless in Devotion, Rising to Promotion,
Rising to the ranks of mighty heroes, Fighting foes in every land,

History only tells a story, We are to see your glory,
Stand aside the Reds are coming,
WREXHAM IS THE NAME
150 Million and C

TheGreyGhost
Feb 14, 2012

“Go win the Heimlich Trophy!”
160 Million. A

We don't absolutely need a place to loan players out, since we can loan guys anywhere, and with our facilities improving dramatically that's going to likely occur later and later. Whereas, that money means more youth of the world to poach for those facilities.

Insertnamehere31
Jan 23, 2012

This could be the most one-sided fight since 1973 when Ali faced an eighty-foot tall mechanical Joe Frazier. My memory isn't what it used to be, but I think the entire Earth was destroyed.

1: 140m
2: C

LionYeti
Oct 12, 2008


1. 145 million
2. C

ThePenIsMightier
Dec 21, 2009

habeasdorkus posted:

Oh, and I didn't quite catch your meaning here. I'm happy to supply whatever info I can but I'm not positive what you're looking for.

This wasn't really meant to be taken seriously. I thought the auditors revolt comment would tip people off about that, but I guess I'm not actually funny. This is Football Manager, not Boardroom Executive, so I don't expect a Full Balance sheet. I just found it interesting that we get a team "value" number and was wondering if that was actually calculated somewhere or if there was a fictional summary of assets? Basically, I'm curious and was trying to participate, as this LP has been one of the ones I've enjoyed most.

As for the feeder team, I did not realize that loaned players weren't eligible to play against us. This significantly lowers the risk unless you picked a team with a significant chance of winning the league. So I learned something new.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
I figured it was, but if there was something you were looking for I shouldn't ignore board member requests for information. :)

Team value is based in part on turnover, I think, as well as the value of your players. Our players are worth 600,000,000 pounds, and our total team valuation is now estimated at 1.16 billion pounds. So, yeah. We rich.

Disproportionation
Feb 20, 2011

Oh god it's the Clone Saga all over again.
£150M, C.
I will never not vote middle of the line when it comes to cash, it seems.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

Out of curiosity, how prestigious/relevant is the Gold Cup compared to the African Cup of Nations or the Asian Cup?

Sky Shadowing
Feb 13, 2012

At least we're not the Thalmor (yet)

Dreamsicle posted:

Out of curiosity, how prestigious/relevant is the Gold Cup compared to the African Cup of Nations or the Asian Cup?

In-game or real-life? Either way it's probably the same way, it's MUCH lower than the African Cup of Nations and probably a little lower than the Asian Cup.

Zero One
Dec 30, 2004

HAIL TO THE VICTORS!
Good luck in the Olympics. I managed the 2016 USA squad and won the Silver medal. We beat BRAZIL in the semis before finally losing to Argentina in the finals.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

TIL Wrexham was put in administration 10 years ago. Brony Hunter, how bad is it now? Besides that they're still in non-league football.

Quinntan
Sep 11, 2013
£120 million, A

How are Newport County doing? They're the fourth Welsh club that are playable in the English league pyramid.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Chapter the Eleventh: The immolation of Stoke.
April 21, 2014-May 13, 2014

We'll know whether we've won the Premier League for the second year in a row within the next three weeks. Our fate is firmly in our own hands, if we beat Stoke and Everton we win. If we beat one of them and draw with Manchester United we win. And that's assuming United win all of their remaining games, not a given considering that they have a trip across town to City on May 2nd. They actually have three matches against City in the course of eight days, Manchester is going to be a war zone as City attempts to scuttle United's title aspirations and advance to the Champions League final. Meanwhile, we're off to Spain.



Oh, nice. Who are our kids playing in the final?



I should have known.

At Atletico Madrid, April 23, 2024
Champions League, Semifinal Away Tie
P

Shirra should be healthy by now, but his ankle was stubbornly slow to heal and while he's available for selection he's not estimated to be fully healed for another 5 days. I'm tempted to put him on the bench, but risking his health would be foolish when it's not absolutely necessary. Madrid are led by all world forward Mauricio Bohorquez, keeping him from dealing damage will go a long way towards setting ourselves up to advance to the final.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Petts, Taborda, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Allan, Gabbianelli, Aarts.

It's a nightmare start, Atletico score in the second minute and Hammatt is already limping from a collision. That makes me reconsider my starting strategy, we redeploy in a more defensive posture. Atletico's Greek keeper makes an amazing reflex save against Thiago to deny us an equalizer, then make it two-nil before we mercifully retreat to the lockers. Given the failure of our efforts to play defensively we have nothing to lose by coming out swinging when play resumes.

It's slightly more effective, and the visiting section erupts with cheers when they think Mujkic has scored, but the shot was into the side netting. We get a vital break in the 80th minute when a clever bit of one touch passing on the left flank gets Stringel an open look at the net and he buries the ball to make it 2-1. At the final whistle we've kept ourselves alive, a win in Wrexham will likely see us through to the final.




Atletico 2-1 Wrexham



Thiago should be getting touted for this. He's got 12 goals in 10 Champions League matches, and not a single one came against an extremely weak opponent. Stringel's been good, but not that good. Also, how are two players (Duhnke and Pedrozo) from a team that got shellacked 7-1 by Manchester United in the Quarterfinals even in the conversation for this award?



That did not go well for United, they need a resounding win next week at the Etihad if they're going to return to the final.



Enjoy the parachute payments.



Well you just got yourself the starting role against Stoke, m'boy. Especially since it's been two whole matches since Thiago last scored.



You won't let us down Isaac. I know you too well for that.

vs Stoke City, April 27, 2024
Premier League


United fell to our Welsh brethren in Swansea today. A win gives us the title. Stoke must die so that we may fulfill our destiny. It is known.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, O'Hanlon, Loseille, Mair, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Aarts (c).
Subs: Fitzgerald, Taffarel, Hammatt, Petts, Allan, Gabbianelli, Thiago.

We knock at the door and Stoke scurries into their rigid fortress to deny us what is rightfully ours. They cannot deny us, for we are dragons. Walls are no impediment. Castles are for burning. Jonathan Quiboulaz writes his name in flame across the history of Wrexham, igniting the first inferno after 30 minutes of mewling Stoke resistance.

The manling assigned to watch this decimation attempts treachery by placing the ball on the penalty spot, but Vid Kovacevic is made of sterner stuff than Stoke's assassin. The young one, beloved of his father Abraham, puts paid to any opposing dreams after an hour has passed. The victims can muster but a single whimpering response before expiring. They are not Champions. They are not Dragons. They are not Wrexham.

Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel




Wrexham 2-1 Stoke




It is a good day.



Our honors abound, our glories multiply, and the name Wrexham rings out across the world.



I promised you trophies. I am no liar.



Not all trophies are for sharing, however.



I am pleased that tribute is being paid to us by lesser clubs.



I am pleased that our young have already developed a taste for Mancunian tears.

vs Atletico Madrid, May 1, 2024
Champions League, Semifinal Home Tie


There is no time for a title hangover, we still have another trophy to win. That requires overcoming our first leg loss to the second sons of Madrid.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Taborda, Petts, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Quiboulaz, O'Hanlon, Parr, Stringel, Aarts.

Atletico catch us on the counter, and we've got a two goal hole to climb with 70 minutes left. Unfortunately, it seems like we celebrated a bit too hard after clinching the league. I must have blacked out at some point, but when I come to the only thing in my notes is a scrawl of “OH GOD THE HORROR.” We've fallen to a two-nil defeat, and are out of the Champions League.




Wrexham (1) 0-2 (4) Atletico



Well, that's a quick comedown from the moutaintop.



It's not like we have anything left to play for.



“We only made it to the semifinals of the Champions League and won the Premier League title! I want to go to PSG so that I can get knocked out of the Champions League in the quarterfinals instead and play in a vastly less prestigious league!”



“And I'm going to whine to the press about it, except I'll accept your offer of winning the Premier League this season even though we've already won it.”

Yeah, this game isn't perfect. A lot of people just refuse to talk to their players at all, because they'll never get unhappy if you just ignore them completely.

At Manchester United, May 4, 2024
Premier League


A win for my birthday and one last chance to stick it to Manchester before the season ends.

Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control
Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Mair, Ünsal, Collett, Shirra, Mujkic, Thiago.
Subs: Fitzgerald, Reed, Quiboulaz, Petts, Parr, Stringel, Aarts.

United go off the crossbar in the second minute, but Cirjak counters with a rare goal. We've had a slight advantage through the first half, but the second half proves more difficult. Our players seem checked out, and it's understandable given that we have nothing to play for. That finally results in an error we can't fix at the hour mark, and despite chances late in the match we come away with a draw. Alas, We're not cracking the 100 point barrier this year. More worrying is that Thiago has completely lost his touch, he was burying the same chances he's getting now just a month ago.

Man of the Match: James Loseille




Man United 1-1 Wrexham

At Everton, May 12, 2024
Premier League


Lets get this over with. Bailey's just back from injury; since this match is for nothing but pride I'll likely sub him on late. Everton have something to play for, they're tied with Tottenham on points for the final Europa League spot, and if both the Toffees and Spurs lose they could be leapfrogged by Sheffield.

Starting Formation: 3-4-3 Attack
Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Laux, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Reed, Mujkic (c), Unsal, Shirra, Aarts, Stringel, Thiago.
Subs: Kovacevic, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Petts, Taborda, Collett.

It's a back and forth first half. First Mujkic unleashes a drive from 40 yards out that catches the Everton keeper off his line and thuds into the back of the net. Then Everton equalizes five minutes later as Laux is caught ball watching. They take the lead on a free kick that Fitzgerald hideously misplays, but we swarm forward again and Steve Reed equalizes 80 seconds later. The second half plays out as if the team is already on vacation. We draw, which is enough for Everton to hang onto sixth place.

Man of the Match: Steve Reed




Everton 2-2 Wrexham




I'm surprised to see Derby go down, but not so much Villa. The seven time top division Champions have never been very good over the past decade.



As disappointed as I am with how we played the last couple weeks of the season, we won five competitions and one of those was the League title. We tallied the second most points in Premier League history while doing so, and only one team beat us all season. That team was Newcastle, and they alone can say that they topped us out of all the other clubs. The only other team we failed to defeat was Everton, who accounted for two of our six draws. It was a good season, but not a great one, and our work remains incomplete.

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

FROM: Dreamsicle, Wrexham Fan Trust President
TO: Scott Brown, The Cerebral Assassin, Wrexham First Team Manager
SUBJECT: END OF SEASON RECAP AND GOALS FOR 2024-25


I'd like to start by apologizing for that interview with Watkin on April 11. What was intended to get our fans and players pumped for our matches against Atletico only served to give them bulletin board material and they beat us fair and square. We did better than Fergie in his 08-09 campaign at least. Good job on getting the league title. That should keep the players happy.

Next season will be big. I expect at the minimum another title defense, an FA Cup QF appearance and a CL finals appearance. The EPL three-peat would be an incredible historical achievement as well. If we defend the title again, Wrexham will be 5th team to get a three-peat and the first non-United team to perform that feat in 30 years. Obviously however, this will not be enough to sate our trophy appetite. You should shoot for another quintuple, and it will be the best quintuple in football history.

Right now were great, but not the greatest. I have placed my faith in you that you will get us there. Don't disappoint me.

Regards
Dreamsicle

OOC: Are there any other great FM LP's? Right now all I know are Brian Phillips Pro Vercelli LP and this one.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Epilogue: The rains in Spain fall mainly on Chicago.
May 12, 2024-June 9, 2024

The board has elected, in their munificence, to dedicate £143.5m to wages and transfers for the coming season, as well as seek out a team to send our kids on loan to and subsequently a team to enhance our growing global stature. There's not much to do at the club for the moment, except hope that United lose to Atletico in the Champions League final, but we do have two national team friendlies, one against worldbeaters Spain at Soldier Field in Chicago.




Our coffers are replenished, we're currently at £28m cash on hand.



And the players desire burns bright. I wish I could challenge them to win the Champions League as well.




When asking for a new feeder club I'm reminded that Dreamsicle had demanded that we play possession football.



Well, I'm glad you're willing to accept the changes you yourself wanted.



On my way out of the President's office I noticed plans for a new stadium on a table nearby. I did not in any way request this, but it seems we're going to be moving from the Racecourse Grounds in a few years to modern digs.




Mark Bloem pulled out of his slow start and put on another performance for the ages.



He's rewarded handsomely for it.




Meanwhile, we've won the league twice in a row now and still our players are snubbed by the media.




Thiago is the only one to make the team of the year, and it's as a substitute.



I guess they think that our success is entirely due to me.



I will be most pleased if Southampton or Reading is offered as a feeder. Barring that we're going to probably end up with some Championship club.



Blergh.



Fitzy is going to be a very good keeper, it's a mistake for England and a coup for New Zealand that he's declaring for the kiwis.



No Bailey. :(



I want a medal. I don't really care what color, but the more valuable the better.




Double blergh.




We must be sitting pretty financially...



Yep!



We won't have a big transfer budget this summer, but I'd love to get my USMNT captain into Wrexham so we can develop a better bond. But I'm not spending more than ten million on a guy who's already 30.



Good thinking, Dreamsicle. No reason to be spending money on interest payments when we don't need to.



“I like paying taxes, it's how I pay for civilization.”



I think we've maxed out the number of fan trust members, this is the exact same total from last season. Still, 210,000 members isn't bad considering that our town has a population of 64,000. We're the Green Bay Packers of European football.



We still have a few old sponsorships to revalue, but things are going pretty well so far.



The ingame board likes me more than you do, our actual budgets are £2.5m p/w for wages and £33.5m in the transfer kitty.



I cannot wait for the Olympics. Big international competitions are my jam. I'll watch competitive Bob Ross painting if it means I can watch the US of Freedom crush the dreams of some poor sap from West Bogdonistan.



Nice work, Collett! No, I didn't mean what I said before about second place just being the first loser.



Quelle surprise, a United player wins this.








These options suck.

Norwich is the only one playing at the Championship level, and York isn't even playing league football.




Norridge is clearly the best choice due to their very good facilities and their high level of play.



So Norridge it is.



Spain outshot us 24 to 2. There was more than a little luck to this result. Still, we drew with Spain when our best young players and three of our best over 23 players were unavailable due to the upcoming Olympics!



Woah! Financial Fair Play fucks over City. I love it! The beneficiary of City's ban from international competition? Chelsea, who are now back into the Champions League. This is going to lead to a firesale at City, none of their players are willing to stick around while the budget gets fixed.



The odds on Leeds getting relegated just spiked.



Scott Shirra is big in Japan. Also, we apparently sold 150,000+ jerseys in Wales, or one to roughly every 20 people in the entire country.






Our tour this year is to Argentina. Or, more specifically, to Buenos Aires, as we'll be spending two weeks playing teams from the area and enjoying the heck out of La Plata life.





The Mini-Cwp returns. This time with Sky Shadowing and AJ_Impy!.



You're up first, Mr. Shadowing.



We faced off against Tonci Cirjak as well as former Wrexham players Dinko Mejasic and Daniel Matko. The USMNT outplayed Croatia, but our karma needed to be balanced after the Spain friendly.







It's going to be a dull transfer window, unless someone bowls me over with an offer we'll only have about £25m to spend. I'm happy with the current team, we're still very young and already it's hard to improve upon our current players. So instead, it's time to give out raises.



I also extend all of our young players who are a year from reaching the ends of their contracts.



I'm perfectly happy with the team's performances- we're missing our best young players and our three best over-23 players. It would have been nice to beat Croatia, though.

USMNT


We really should have lost 3-0 to Spain and beaten Croatia 2-1. Thems the breaks.



Bastable managed 27 goal this year, while Thiago notched 32. That makes Niric the winner of this season's contest, he had Bastable scoring 30 and Thiago scoring 31, and was off by just four goals. Brony Hunter was close behind, off by five goals, with his estimates of Bastable at 26 and Thiago at 28. Claim your boon, Niric!

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 01:23 on Sep 19, 2014

Brony Hunter
Dec 27, 2012

Motherfucking Mannis

They'll bend the knee or I'll destroy them
Darn, so close! :(

Dreamsicle
Oct 16, 2013

gently caress, this means Moyes now has 3 Champions League trophies. Also, the circle is now complete for Wrexham and Norridge.

I with FFP actually did something to City IRL.

Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 00:13 on Sep 19, 2014

PotatoManJack
Nov 9, 2009
What a great season! So glad to see this back again.

I just can't believe that good old Mateo is now 26 years old! I still remember when he was our young wonder kid with the whole team on his back.

habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
Appendix: The Year in Football/Futbol/Fußball/Calcio/Soccer, 2023-2024
June 8, 2024

I've decided to add labels to make it a touch easier to find specific competitions. They should break up the update and make it look like I'm not totally brainless when it comes to organizational chops.

England



It's been about two weeks since the notification that City was turfed from the Champions League over financial issues and it still brings a smile to my face. I only wish that a club other than Chelsea had been in fifth.



Our new feeders very nearly made it to the Premier League, losing in extra time in the playoff final to Burnley. Sky Shadowing should be pleased, though, once he fired Tosh all his problems were gone. Liverpool's new ownership brought them back up after only one year as well, and they kept the payroll at a gigantic £60 million pounds.



Poor Tackleford, they just can't win a promotion playoff to save their lives. They'll probably be promoted in a year or two, and then in another half decade might finally make it to the EPL.



F&#%ers.



We finally won one of these! Who'd have thought it would be easier to capture a Champions League title than a League Cup?

Europe



Big changes in Spain, as Barcelona finishes fourth again and Real Madrid crashes all the way out of Champions League qualification. That's despite Bastable tying for most goals scored in the league.



Juventus takes another scudetto, but this one comes thanks to a final day of the season victory over Cesena while Roma crashed and burned on Sardinia against Cagliari.



Leverkusen win their first ever Bundesliga title, 125 years after their founding.



I really want the PSG to get whacked with a Champions League suspension now. Their annual wage budget is the highest in the game by about £30m.



Porto helps rival Benfica secure the league, beating Sporting on the last day to give the other Lisbon team the title.



Ajax has won the Eredivise half of the time in the past decade. Them winning again is boring.



The Belgians have an odd playoff system where the team with the best record doesn't necessarily win the league. That's how Anderlecht wins the title despite Club Brugge having a clearly better season.



The Russian league has had 5 different winners since the 2014 season. Only Rubin Kazan has won more than two, while this is Rostov's first title.



None of the traditional powers in Turkey could match lowly Samsunspor, which won their first title in front of a capacity crowd of 16,480 screaming supporters.



It looks like Rangers is still some way off of restoring the Old Firm to full capacity, and Celtic won the league unchallenged.



Pity Barca, not only have they only won the league once in the last five years, they can't even win the Europa League.



I will retake what is mine, you Scottish bastard!

North America



Chivas did well, but not well enough to stop DC United from taking home the title. At least they won the Supporters Shield.



Tigres and Chivas win the apertura and clausura respectively, despite Atlas living up to their namesake and dominating the league in both halves. Meanwhile Cruz Azul gets relegated, which is surprising for what's a fairly large Mexican club.



DC United can't pull off the double, but Chivas does.

South America



It's been a long time since someone other than Palmieras, Flamengo, or Corinthians won the Brasileiro.



Velez wins both halves of the season, an impressive accomplishment for one of our pre-season opponents.



I was pulling for Penarol, which is the best club in Uruguay. Anything to see someone other than the Brazilian club win.

International



Our schedule will be a bit less busy without a trip to wherever the Club World Cup is being held.



We really should have beaten Honduras, but Uruguay would probably have steamrolled us.



Saudi Arabia? Really? Come on South Korea. Get your act together.



My first international trophy. Dos a cero, baby.



At least we lost to the winners. Just getting out of the group was a big accomplishment for our U23 squad. Hopefully the experience serves them well in the upcoming Olympics.

habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Sep 19, 2014

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habeasdorkus
Nov 3, 2013

Royalty is a continuous shitposting motion.
For those that already read the updates, I forgot to add something to the start of the epilogue about board meetings.

I'm kind of upset that I wasn't even asked about whether we should move to a new stadium.

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