Idiots on Social Media Thread

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SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Motherfucker, I took my husband on dates in the wrong months of the year. So bad at this relationship poo poo. Thanks Facebook, for telling me how to wife better and reminding me I'm doing gender roles wrong. Next year, it's ONLY September that I will pay for our meal or suggest we go for a walk at sunset or something. And just once. Says right there "a date", not 'a bunch of dates'.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 05:27

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# ? May 24, 2024 16:40

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Picnic Princess posted:

Motherfucker, I took my husband on dates in the wrong months of the year. So bad at this relationship poo poo. Thanks Facebook, for telling me how to wife better and reminding me I'm doing gender roles wrong. Next year, it's ONLY September that I will pay for our meal or suggest we go for a walk at sunset or something. And just once. Says right there "a date", not 'a bunch of dates'.

'a man' doesn't necessarily mean your husband. There's still time.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 05:43

Kugyou no Tenshi: Nov 8, 2005; We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

Picnic Princess posted:

Motherfucker, I took my husband on dates in the wrong months of the year. So bad at this relationship poo poo. Thanks Facebook, for telling me how to wife better and reminding me I'm doing gender roles wrong. Next year, it's ONLY September that I will pay for our meal or suggest we go for a walk at sunset or something. And just once. Says right there "a date", not 'a bunch of dates'.

poo poo. My fiancee makes all the money. Our anniversary's in January, her birthday is August, and mine is October. Guess we'll just have to combine them all in September.

(Also, the loving Keep Calm meme for this? I was already tired of those when they followed the format. This one? gently caress this one.)

# ? Sep 8, 2014 06:06

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Ratjaculation posted:

'a man' doesn't necessarily mean your husband. There's still time.

Mind blown.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 06:20

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

What was the gender and desperation status of the person who posted that?

# ? Sep 8, 2014 06:43

cptn_dr: Sep 7, 2011; Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies

Ratjaculation posted:

What was the gender and desperation status of the person who posted that?

I'm gonna guess "male" and "neckbeardly", respectively.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 07:00

Karasu Tengu: Feb 16, 2011; Humble Tengu Newspaper Reporter

Irradiation posted:

Ignoring the shitstorm this started about white discrimination I'm tempted to like it as that's a Sikh not a Muslim so yes it technically is wrong.

At least the original poster isn't a complete shithead, I guess.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 07:08

karl fungus: May 6, 2011; Baeume sind auch Freunde

Ratjaculation posted:

What was the gender and desperation status of the person who posted that?

"binomial gendershrimp" and "please send help"

# ? Sep 8, 2014 07:08

Gann Jerrod: Sep 9, 2005; A gun isn't a gun unless it shoots Magic.

loving really?!

# ? Sep 8, 2014 07:47

Arsonist Daria: Feb 27, 2011; ^{Requiescat in pace.}

Gann Jerrod posted:

loving really?!

Who actually believes this poo poo?

# ? Sep 8, 2014 07:49

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Pretty sure those children are at least 40 years old by now (if alive). I hope people shared that picture a lot 30+ years ago.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 08:02

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀

Ratjaculation posted:

What was the gender and desperation status of the person who posted that?

Female, married, but has complained in the past about being ignored in favour of video games.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 08:40

Birb Katter: Sep 18, 2010; BOATS STOPPED
CARBON TAX AXED
TURNBULL AS PM
LIBERALS WILL BE RE-ELECTED IN A LANDSLIDE

Picnic Princess posted:

Motherfucker, I took my husband on dates in the wrong months of the year. So bad at this relationship poo poo. Thanks Facebook, for telling me how to wife better and reminding me I'm doing gender roles wrong. Next year, it's ONLY September that I will pay for our meal or suggest we go for a walk at sunset or something. And just once. Says right there "a date", not 'a bunch of dates'.

You realise this is all about tolerance right? Everyone should take a man out on a date. Men and women.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 09:34

nippythefish: Nov 20, 2007; FEED ME SNAKES

Irradiation posted:

Ignoring the shitstorm this started about white discrimination I'm tempted to like it as that's a Sikh not a Muslim so yes it technically is wrong.

I almost posted this one in here, complete with all the comments from crusty old codgers that also belong to the "CV-63 USS Kitty Hawk" group it was posted in. My will was crushed by the absolute ignorance that was flowing in that thread, and decided against it. I might have actually removed myself from the group as a result, I can't remember.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 10:09

Kugyou no Tenshi: Nov 8, 2005; We can't keep the crowd waiting, can we?

Aryan Jesus posted:

You realise this is all about tolerance right? Everyone should take a man out on a date. Men and women.

Considering that it seems to have been pushed primarily by LDS singles groups and other straight dating groups, I'm gonna have to say no, it is not in fact about tolerance. And to top it off, a whole lot of people posting things on FB and otherwise about it are bordering on MRA "why is it always men who have to do the hard things in the relationship like paying when women just have to show up?" arguments.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 12:20

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

Leninboarrir posted:

gently caress, I work for the goddamn NFL and this poo poo makes me CRINGE

What if her hobby is "watching football?" WHO BRINGS WHOM THE SAMMICHES THEN?

# ? Sep 8, 2014 12:36

Birb Katter: Sep 18, 2010; BOATS STOPPED
CARBON TAX AXED
TURNBULL AS PM
LIBERALS WILL BE RE-ELECTED IN A LANDSLIDE

Kugyou no Tenshi posted:

Considering that it seems to have been pushed primarily by LDS singles groups and other straight dating groups, I'm gonna have to say no, it is not in fact about tolerance. And to top it off, a whole lot of people posting things on FB and otherwise about it are bordering on MRA "why is it always men who have to do the hard things in the relationship like paying when women just have to show up?" arguments.

It's OK, I wasn't being serious, women shouldn't have to date men. That's just gross.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 12:44

Arsonist Daria: Feb 27, 2011; ^{Requiescat in pace.}

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

What if her hobby is "watching football?" WHO BRINGS WHOM THE SAMMICHES THEN?

I think if the guy who made that macro saw a woman who was a hardcore football fan his head would begin sparking and smoking

# ? Sep 8, 2014 13:20

nippythefish: Nov 20, 2007; FEED ME SNAKES

Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

I think if the guy who made that macro saw a woman who was a hardcore football fan his head would begin sparking and smoking

Pam Oliver, anyone?

# ? Sep 8, 2014 13:36

OptimusShr: Mar 1, 2008

Picture attached to this post was NWS so I copy and pasted:

quote:

WOMEN: PLEASE DON'T FORGET THURSDAY SEPTEMBER 11!!!

WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY

Don't forget to mark your calendars.

As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked and if he does, he must commit suicide.

So on September 11th, at 10:00 A.M. Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists.

Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.

All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their houses to demonstrate their support for the women and to prove that they are not Muslim terrorist sympathizers. Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your patriotism.

The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.

P.S.
If you don't send this to at least 1 person, you're a terrorist-sympathizing,
lily-livered coward and are possibly aiding and abetting terrorists.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 14:13

Praseodymi: Aug 26, 2010

Jesus Christ, do these people think Muslims are robots or something?

# ? Sep 8, 2014 14:23

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

You know, I can picture some idiots thinking this is a legit thing and cooking up other ways to beat "the Islams," like making sure every room in your house has a TV in it that plays Debbie Does Dallas on a loop, just in case they sneak in in the middle of the night to steal your appliances or whatever these fictional villains get themselves up to.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 14:30

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Guys a friend said "knock knock" to me the other day. I'm not a door and he knows that. Is he some kind of idiot? :confused:

# ? Sep 8, 2014 14:33

Arsonist Daria: Feb 27, 2011; ^{Requiescat in pace.}

If exposed to pork, Muslims turn to dust. That's why everyone should eat bacon so Muslims can't eat your corpse.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 14:42

Don Gato: Apr 28, 2013; Actually a bipedal cat.; Grimey Drawer

Look at those idiots, thinking that muslims are like vampires who hate pork and naked flesh instead of garlic and crosses.

Everyone knows you have to shoot them with square bullets, to show them the benefits of Christian civilization and prevent them from coming back during Judgement Day.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 14:47

venus de lmao: Apr 30, 2007; Call me "pixeltits"

Don Gato posted:

Everyone knows you have to shoot them with square bullets, to show them the benefits of Christian civilization and prevent them from coming back during Judgement Day.

I guess the idea of killing the hell out of people as a method of converting them to your way of life is not a recent one.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 14:57

Karma Comedian: Feb 2, 2012

Kajeesus posted:

Guys a friend said "knock knock" to me the other day. I'm not a door and he knows that. Is he some kind of idiot?

I like your style.

Also the walk naked thing is a joke attempt at seeing some boobies hth guys.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 15:13

TrekBek: Mar 27, 2013; slug life

That has to be some kind of clever ruse thought up by guys who want to jack off to their hot neighbors. Of course, the women that would actually do this wouldn't be the type you'd want to see naked, but, details.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 15:15

sassassin: Apr 3, 2010; by Azathoth

Goons in not understanding jokes shocker

# ? Sep 8, 2014 15:48

Arsonist Daria: Feb 27, 2011; ^{Requiescat in pace.}

sassassin posted:

Goons in not understanding jokes shocker

I think most people understand it's a joke, but it's a mediocre one stretched out too long to hit at all and also toes the line between "Haha, men are pigs" and "Wow this dude is a total creep". It's so lame and weird that it being earnest would honestly be an improvement, because then you could laugh at it.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 15:55

MizPiz: May 29, 2013; by Athanatos

Well, I guess it's time to pack it in. That guy was making a witty and insightful joke and we dismissed him as some dumb poo poo stain; we really are the idiots on social media.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 15:55

Nikaer Drekin: Oct 11, 2012; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020

Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

I think most people understand it's a joke, but it's a mediocre one stretched out too long to hit at all and also toes the line between "Haha, men are pigs" and "Wow this dude is a total creep". It's so lame and weird that it being earnest would honestly be an improvement, because then you could laugh at it.

It's also built on a weird bedrock of anti-Muslim sentiment that makes it hard to dismiss as a harmless dad joke.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 16:34

Over There: Jun 28, 2013; by Azathoth

# ? Sep 8, 2014 16:49

kinmik: Jul 17, 2011; Dog, what are you doing? Get away from there.
You don't even have thumbs.

Aw gently caress you.

I'm just imagining the seven women nominated by another getting into a huge fight screaming, "Angelica said I was the Prettiest, Goodest Loving Mom!" There can only be one. :black101:

Also, holy poo poo, I waited about five seconds waiting for the second one to finish loading when I first saw it.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 17:26

GOTTA STAY FAI: Mar 24, 2005; ~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~; College Slice

kinmik posted:

Also, holy poo poo, I waited about five seconds waiting for the second one to finish loading when I first saw it.

You know what to do: compress the everliving poo poo out of it in Photoshop and share it right back. Bonus points if it's completely illegible when you're done.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 17:28

EL BROMANCE: Jun 10, 2006; COWABUNGA DUDES!
🥷🐢😬

TinTower posted:

Let's have a bit of photography fail in this thread.

It's shocking that this new smartphone can capture 4K but this DSLR released nearly three years ago can't. It's the death of Canon!

Ah, Dunning-Kruger, how I miss you so...

Can't wait for sports photographers to start strapping 400mm lenses to some crappy Android phone that reboots when they try to take a photo.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 17:39

kinmik: Jul 17, 2011; Dog, what are you doing? Get away from there.
You don't even have thumbs.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

You know what to do: compress the everliving poo poo out of it in Photoshop and share it right back. Bonus points if it's completely illegible when you're done.

But I'm not a mom. :ohdear:

What if I share it and I break the cycle? I might never have children again, or all those likes will go to waste and the ghost of a shareless child will sneak into my room at three in the morning.

Not to mention my in-laws will take it at face value, freak out, and think I'm finally pregnant.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 17:46

HackensackBackpack: Aug 20, 2007; Who needs a house out in Hackensack? Is that all you get for your money?

kinmik posted:

Good lord, I think this is the greatest Facebook share image ever found. It's perfect.

On that note, I've nominated you for the Best Looking Good Posting Something Awful Poster Award. You must quote this post 7 times in a post quoting another user.

Hope I get this back.

# ? Sep 8, 2014 17:46