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Should I use protection when doing cunnilingus? Also, how?
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Sep 14, 2014 19:58
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ManOfTheYear posted:Should I use protection when doing cunnilingus? Also, how? Saran wrap will do if you don't have a purpose made dental dam. And you should use it unless you're OK getting oral herpes or know your partner is clean, just like any other protection.
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Sep 14, 2014 20:30
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hoobajoo posted:Saran wrap will do if you don't have a purpose made dental dam. And you should use it unless you're OK getting oral herpes or know your partner is clean, just like any other protection. Dental dam? What's that?
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Sep 14, 2014 20:58
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ManOfTheYear posted:Dental dam? What's that? It's that rubber sheet thing that dentists use when doing stuff on your teeth when they don't want things to fall into your mouth.
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Sep 14, 2014 21:21
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ManOfTheYear posted:Dental dam? What's that? It's the thing you're too lazy to Google.
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Sep 14, 2014 21:25
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hoobajoo posted:Saran wrap will do if you don't have a purpose made dental dam. And you should use it unless you're OK getting oral herpes or know your partner is clean, just like any other protection. You can also cut open a condom.
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Sep 14, 2014 21:49
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Plastic wrap is actually pretty controversial, when it comes to whether or not it will block transmission of STDs: This is pretty thorough.
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Sep 14, 2014 22:07
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Patrice O'neal explains dental dams and safe sex best http://youtu.be/agtYIZLNUoo
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Sep 15, 2014 00:35
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ManOfTheYear posted:Dental dam? What's that? Its a sheet of plastic you put over your bits during oral sex, but that's not important right now.
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Sep 15, 2014 03:28
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Alright, I had trouble deciding whether this should go in this thread or E/N, but I decided to go with here, since it's an entirely sexual problem: I'm a penishaver, and my partner is one of those types of people with a vagina. When we're having PIV sex, though, she always rubs her clitoris while we're doing it. I heard from a friend of mine that this was common among girls he had been with, but I've had extended sexual relationships with a number of other women, and none of them did this. It makes me feel entirely removed from the proceedings at hand; essentially, it doesn't matter what I'm doing down there, because she'll just masturbate no matter what, which in turn makes me feel entirely surplus to requirements. I made a helpful chart here:  (Yes, sex shouldn't be entirely orgasm-based and all, but it's a good measure of if you find something sexy, and she reports that sex without the touching is unsatisfactory) As you can see, the DICK column appears to have no correlation with the ORGASMS results. For her part, she claims that she enjoys PIV, but she enjoys a lot of other things, too. I enjoy all kinds of things that don't give me sexual pleasure, and I'm lost as to how to feel about this. Any protips to get my head on straight?
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Sep 28, 2014 05:41
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It is not some effort where labor is measured and should be equal. You do things still together, it is not masturbation per se. You are present in the situation and not some statist. It sounds like you are just not confident in your status.
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Sep 28, 2014 05:47
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John Lee posted:Alright, I had trouble deciding whether this should go in this thread or E/N, but I decided to go with here, since it's an entirely sexual problem: Most women can't come without clitoral stimulation. That's just how it is. What you can do, however, is use your own fingers on her during PIV sex, if you really want to be the one to cause the orgasms. Girl-on-top works well for this.
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Sep 28, 2014 05:49
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Lots of women 100% require clitoral stimulation to orgasm. This is perfectly normal, even if you haven't run into it yourself in the past. I know for me, while penetration is perfectly pleasant, I need a bit more oomph on the clit to get anywhere. If you want to involve yourself more, you could try working her clitoris yourself, either with your fingers or a vibe.
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Sep 28, 2014 05:49
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John Lee posted:Alright, I had trouble deciding whether this should go in this thread or E/N, but I decided to go with here, since it's an entirely sexual problem: You can stop caring so much about your stupid worthless penis and be happy that your girlfriend is enjoying herself, dumbass.
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Sep 28, 2014 05:56
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Hydrolith posted:Girl-on-top works well for this. Girl-on-top, really? Seems like that'd be a really awkward position for it, but I've never tried it to my recollection, so I'll give it a shot and see what happens. Hydrolith posted:if you really want to be the one to cause the orgasms Well... it's not that, it's that I want to feel like I'm part of the sex. You know, working together as a team. But she's pretty orgasm-centric, and I know she's going to handle things on that front whether I'm involved or not. Vahakyla posted:It is not some effort where labor is measured and should be equal. You do things still together, it is not masturbation per se. You are present in the situation and not some statist. It sounds like you are just not confident in your status. I do not mean to be a jerk, but I couldn't entirely parse this, especially the bit about statism, which is either you injecting some political commentary into a place it doesn't really make sense, or a typo. Stasis?
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Sep 28, 2014 05:59
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John Lee posted:Girl-on-top, really? Seems like that'd be a really awkward position for it, but I've never tried it to my recollection, so I'll give it a shot and see what happens. Your arms are less consumed with supporting your dumb rear end so you can twiddle along and flick the switches.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:02
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John Lee posted:Well... it's not that, it's that I want to feel like I'm part of the sex. You are. Clit+penetration feels way different from clit alone, and even if she needs the clit to come, it is a wildly different experience without. You can eat a sandwich that's just peanut butter. But if it's a peanut butter and jam sandwich, you don't say the jam is no part of the sandwich.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:03
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Please break up so she doesn't spend any more time with someone who makes her feel lovely about something innocuous she can't control. The vast majority of women can't come from PIV alone. I totally believe you've had extremely extensive experience, but all those women were either incredibly lucky or just faking it. If masturbation is just as good for her, why do you think she bothers having sex with you instead of just jerking off alone?
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Sep 28, 2014 06:05
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i like nice words
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neongrey posted:You can eat a sandwich that's just peanut butter. But if it's a peanut butter and jam sandwich, you don't say the jam is no part of the sandwich. Okay, you just blew my mind. This has been bugging me on and off for three years, and now it's like a weight has been lifted. I knew goons could help me, I just should have foreseen it would be with a metaphor about eating sandwiches. (The above contains no sarcasm and I am legitimately impressed and grateful.) Anne Whateley posted:Please break up so she doesn't spend any more time with someone who makes her feel lovely about something innocuous she can't control. I don't think a post that says "You make your girlfriend feel terrible and your previous lovers were just faking" is especially helpful, and I can't really think of a good reason to make it.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:09
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John Lee posted:Alright, I had trouble deciding whether this should go in this thread or E/N, but I decided to go with here, since it's an entirely sexual problem: Thanks for the graph, it really helped me to understand your problem.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:10
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John Lee posted:I don't think a post that says "You make your girlfriend feel terrible and your previous lovers were just faking" is especially helpful, and I can't really think of a good reason to make it.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:15
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John Lee posted:
I let some Finnish slip by where a "statist" is the same as a "movie extra". What I meant that you seem to be somehow calculating the input of each of the participants and then arriving to the conclusion that she somehow works more and you don't, thus you are unnecessary and she is having sex with herself. But that is not the case. That is not how it "is counted" or anything. You are both present in the situation and the way the acts are divided matters far less compared to how you feel. Like I said, I feel like you are not confident in your status and you think that she'd be just as good without you. But that is like thinking that having a FFM-threesome means that the dude is just an extra and could be skipped because "the women are doing woman stuff anyway".
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Sep 28, 2014 06:22
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You all just got trolled.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:30
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Sometimes I'm stupid, and sometimes I'm poor at composition, and sometimes I have trouble getting my tone across in text, and any or all of these things my have contributed, but no, I wasn't trolling. I had a legit problem with how I thought about a sex act, I wanted to ask a number of people about it at once in a place where it was okay to do so. Sorry if it was poorly placed; like I said, I considered putting it in E/N because I was frankly feeling overemotional about it. Anyways, thanks to the people who replied and helped me out.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:47
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Well, glad to help-- I know that knowing clit stimulation is often mandatory isn't quite the same as feeling it, so if it took a silly analogy about sandwiches to help, then, hooray. If you want to help out with it more (sounds like she's got it covered, but hey~) definitely try something like a cowgirl position, and use your free hands for it. You can also looking into getting a bullet vibe of some sort and use that on her too, and that should also be fun.
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Sep 28, 2014 06:53
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Turtlicious posted:You all just got trolled. Nope, worse: they got gooned. John Lee posted:Sometimes I'm stupid, and sometimes I'm poor at composition, and sometimes I have trouble getting my tone across in text, and any or all of these things my have contributed, but no, I wasn't trolling. I had a legit problem with how I thought about a sex act, I wanted to ask a number of people about it at once in a place where it was okay to do so. Sorry if it was poorly placed; like I said, I considered putting it in E/N because I was frankly feeling overemotional about it. Considering only one person told you to sever, you came to the right place!
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Sep 28, 2014 07:02
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John Lee posted:Sometimes I'm stupid, and sometimes I'm poor at composition, and sometimes I have trouble getting my tone across in text, and any or all of these things my have contributed, but no, I wasn't trolling. I had a legit problem with how I thought about a sex act, I wanted to ask a number of people about it at once in a place where it was okay to do so. Sorry if it was poorly placed; like I said, I considered putting it in E/N because I was frankly feeling overemotional about it. I'm a little late to the party, but I wanted to call out the part where you felt like you weren't doing much since she brings herself to orgasm. Imagine the difference between jerking off, and jerking off while she does stuff. It's a very different, more intense experience where you were still the one to bring yourself to orgasm, and I bet you would never say she gave you no or little "sexual pleasure". It does make you any less of a partner in it, and you should count yourself lucky to have a woman confident enough to look after her own satisfaction and not fake it.
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Sep 28, 2014 07:12
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BirdOfPlay posted:Considering only one person told you to sever, you came to the right place! If this thread was in E/N then John Lee would be ignoring all the advice while saying he could manage to push it in deeper, and ultimately the thread would recommend watersports as the solution to everything instead of anal.
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Sep 28, 2014 10:40
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Hydrolith posted:If you're in Australia, maybe try Wet Stuff? http://www.usreviewingthings.com/reviews/lubes/201-wet-stuff Trip report: not bad lube but smells a bit kind of awful combined with other fluids (how? They're both fairly innocuous smells but putting them together...)
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Sep 28, 2014 13:51
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Don't tell anybody but most of the time, when a woman does climax from PIV without any additional finger action, its because something about your/her movements is stimulating her clit at the same time. Keep that one under your hat.
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Sep 28, 2014 15:25
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John Lee posted:Protips to get my head on straight? Dunno if this would help in any psychological way with not being able to make it happen with penis and penetration alone, but you can always go out and get a cock ring with a little bullet vibrator attached. I had a gf who really enjoyed that since vaginal sex alone didn't do it for her, and having the clit stimulation tied directly to the penetrative sex got her off much better than the sexy time equivalent of rubbing your head and patting your stomach. Also as previously mentioned, try different positions that lean the pelvis. But above all I would hope that being honest about it, and expressing a willingness to experiment would go a long way towards not making her feel self conscious, and help you enjoy the experience instead of worrying that you alone aren't hitting the right spots.
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Sep 28, 2014 16:31
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Thanks for all the tips, guys, I think I got it handled now!Fejsze posted:Dunno if this would help in any psychological way with not being able to make it happen with penis and penetration alone, but you can always go out and get a cock ring with a little bullet vibrator attached. I've considered it, but I'm going to keep considering it until I'm not so broke. neongrey posted:definitely try something like a cowgirl position Actually one of our top-used positions already, so we're probably in good shape.
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Sep 28, 2014 21:28
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Turtlicious posted:You all just got trolled. Yeah, but for all that it might be a troll saying it, you know some goony motherfucker here's being insecure about it, so hopefully it helped them.
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Sep 28, 2014 22:36
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Fair enough.
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Sep 28, 2014 22:40
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A real man would have just been happy with getting his dick wet and not having to do extra "work".
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Sep 28, 2014 23:02
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John Lee posted:I've considered it, but I'm going to keep considering it until I'm not so broke. If you do, don't sweat it too hard if it doesn't do the job-- those are pretty anatomy-dependent, like anything that purports both penetration and clit stimulation at once. If it works for both of you, great, if it doesn't, chances are that particular one doesn't fit one or the both of you. neongrey fucked around with this message at 23:25 on Sep 28, 2014 |
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Sep 28, 2014 23:23
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neongrey posted:Well, glad to help-- I know that knowing clit stimulation is often mandatory isn't quite the same as feeling it, so if it took a silly analogy about sandwiches to help, then, hooray. A more direct analogy would be like expecting a guy to orgasm without him or his partner ever actually touching his penis in any way, since the two body parts are analogous to each other.
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Sep 29, 2014 01:45
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Kimmalah posted:A more direct analogy would be like expecting a guy to orgasm without him or his partner ever actually touching his penis in any way, since the two body parts are analogous to each other. The clitoris is significantly larger and has more sensitive area than we're taught, it's actually wishbone shaped and mostly under the surface of the skin. Its more akin to just rubbing the shaft and not touching the head at all. It'll feel good and you'll get some people off, but most will need significantly more stimulation than that
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Sep 29, 2014 02:57
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Note: Getting women off is hard, be happy she can take care of it herself.
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Sep 29, 2014 12:13
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The Door Frame posted:The clitoris is significantly larger and has more sensitive area than we're taught, it's actually wishbone shaped and mostly under the surface of the skin. Yeah either way I was trying to put it in terms that might make it clearer that (for a lot of women at least) the clitoris isn't really an "optional" part of sex when it comes to having orgasms. Also just speaking as someone who does the same thing a lot of the time, although I could see why someone might think it's just like masturbation it's really a very different experience altogether having a partner around.
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Sep 29, 2014 13:10
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