Jett posted:

they should flush especially bad e/n threads to the yob

Jett posted:

they should flush especially bad e/n threads to the yob

Jett posted:

they should flush especially bad e/n threads to the yob

WetNightmare posted:

Me: [watching television] Oh no...Not this commercial...

[♫♬Mr. Clean will clean your house and everything that's in it. Mr. Clean, Mr. Clean♫♬]

[inside the television Mr. Clean points at my mom and gives thumbs up]

Me: gently caress you.

[Mr. Clean starts thrusting his hips to the tempo of the jingle]

Me: Hey gently caress you pal. Alright? gently caress you.

[Mr. Clean starts spanking an imaginary rear end while thrusting]

Me: gently caress you!

Jett posted:

Pro Target posted:

im 600 pounds. all gut and proud. while you losers pump weights, i get fed, get plump, and live the good life. whats the point of working out hwen i can gently caress whenever i want due to my extreme power and influence? Pretty drat pathetic

Guess what. the future is metaverses. Second life, NuPlace, CyberWorld. Get it through your thick sculls, Muscles don't mean jack poo poo when you can buy em for 500 linden dollars and make your avatar as jacked as youd ever want

Want to know how many reps I can do? Its the new millenium, so I'll do 2000 this morning. In second life, it literally doesnt matter how many you do. you'll never be tired. I set my avatar to do 2000 reps just now but he coudl do infinity if he wanted. Meanwhile, im alt tabbed, browsing newsgroups, getting the latest info. Soon though, I'll be loving

Good lord, is your body still analog? Cishumanism is a plaguethats been halting evolution for too long. I talked to my friend ray kurzweil. He said that his muscles are atrophying, and I let him know mine are too. WIth all the new tech coming out, second life, oculus rift, living in the new metaverse has never been easier. we decided to move in together and we never get anything done. We pleasure eachothers avatars 95% of the time, and the other 5% we're sleeping

Me and Ray were hanging out in the Mang Cave (our name for the dual cyberpods we made), but in actuality we were inhabiting another world. I buy and sell land in second life, and am a virtual millionaire. My output is nearly 100% serbian, best conversion is to serbian and all the moguls know it. Theres millionaires youve never heard of, making it big right now on virtual real estate. Rest assured, you'll know their names when your idiotic musclebound frames lurch into the new reality lookin' to buy a plot of your own. Too late, tehy're all gone

a starwar betamax posted:

a starwar betamax posted:

wth posted:

came here to post this

Pedantra posted:

Classicist posted:

my whole outlook turned around when i showed my son this rap. now he pays the bills and eats vegetables, something i never thought i'd see a teen do.

dogcrash truther posted:

I recently had this "sampler." The plating was excellent. Reviews as follows. Clockwise from top:

1) These were not stones. The chef was trying to be "avant-garde." Did not work for me.
2) Sour and terrible in the stomach.
3) Dope mouthfeel, a meeting with flavor resulting in the scheduling of further meetings.
4) This was ice. I vomited.
5) Crudescence of naptha, a static salsa.
6) One of these is in the heart of every child, waiting to be uncovered by a loved one's fecklessness. Palate cleansing.
7) Butter bomb with crunch
8) It's a Soul of Mole. Soapy and necessary.
9) Ground sushi, fresh and complex.
10) A dark dimension for the tongue

dogcrash truther posted:

classicist is a real good poster

dogcrash truther posted:

classicist is a real good poster

Bo-Pepper posted:

you'll never catch me

FluffieDuckie posted:

bo-peps is knocking it out of the park these days

FluffieDuckie posted:

this one too

dogcrash truther posted:

Intro: "Way Down in a Hole" like in the Wire

[apartment gangbangs ride by in a solid gold convertible]
girl: dang that nigga crazy
me: yep
girl: he some kinda kingpin?
me: thats stairs money, girl. stairs money.

Outro: "Down in a Hole" unplugged version

FluffieDuckie posted:

bo-peps is knocking it out of the park these days

dogcrash truther posted:

ya. i liked protargets av getting progressively more and more disturbed too but i'm lazy and dont want to look for all the posts

Bo-Pepper posted:

Bo-Pepper posted:

oh god

Bo-Pepper posted:

someone call a doctor

Bo-Pepper posted:

not looking good someone please help

Bo-Pepper posted:

oh wait he's fine

Bo-Pepper posted:

i know it's poor form to post something you've done but you mentioned it and i had fun playing with protarget's av

Bo-Pepper posted:

FluffieDuckie posted:

i call duckie watts





(shout out to my homeboy bacalou for conceptual artwork)

Cumt posted:

there are 24 months including the 3 secret forbidden months of Drahkgoul, Nuramber and Ɔ

Pizzatime posted:

even better out of context

dopepope posted:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


How are you contributing to the byob recruitment campaign?

Pro Target posted:

Ahaha... Kid blood makes me stronger... I want to do murders and also everything i ever said is bad... Oh... And one more thing... Some people are more equal than others - Personal diary of Stalin "Hitler Jr." Stalin

GEExCEE posted:

woman - *begging me not to destroy the titty factory and walk away from the explosion, putting my sunglasses on. she reveals her breasts in a desperate ploy to assuage me from my mission, for which I shall be handsombly rewarded*

mne: heh, *detonates explosion* i'm gay

dogcrash truther posted:

professor: God doesnt exist
me: im gay
professor: youre in charge now

Nacho Destroyer posted:

precision posted:

Mike Piazza Is Not Gay, Because If He Were Gay, He'd Be Really Gay And Proud: Piazza isn't sure how the gay rumors started, although he thinks it was maybe an ex-teammate and his manager who started it. Either way, it annoyed him a lot: “I found it hugely insulting that people believed I’d go so far out of my way — living with Playmates, vacationing with actresses, showing up at nightclubs — to act out a lifestyle that would amount to a charade,” he writes. “If I was gay, I’d be gay all the way.”

Piazza, New York catcher, are you straight or are you gay?

ron color posted:

hi sid vicious here. im fine, i throw baskets every day to stay strong. every time i shoot the basketball it goes in, usually for three. my mind is sharp like a president's mind

wth posted:

dogcrash truther posted:

WD-40 posted:

Greetings, sisters. It seems like you can't throw a stone around here lately without hitting some jelqing thread or another, bursting with tips and tricks for enhancing the masculine member.
Unsurprisingly, very little is being said about vaginal fitness. Once again, the patriarchy is restricting our access to basic human rights, in this case our right to not have huge loose flappy vajay-jays bat-flapping between our legs.



Ladies, this is YOUR thread for discussing kegels, vaginal weights, labia lifts, etc.



KEGELS

Some of you might be wondering, "What is kegeling? Should I kegel? Is kegeling hard? Will my vagina get super swole and muscly? Can I kill a man with my vagina?"

The answer to all of these questions is yes. Kegels can be done by any woman age 21 - 88. If you fall outside of this age-range, please consult with your physician before attempting to kegel. If you have experienced any of the following symptoms, kegels may be right for you:

-peeing when you sneeze
-peeing when you cough
-peeing when you laugh
-peeing when you poop
-flappy cooter
-depression
-wishing you could kill men with your vagina

The following is a basic kegel exercise for beginners, but can be modified for more advanced kegelers or to compliment a holistic fitness regimen.

Find The Right Muscles
When you pee, try to stop peeing. Can you? If so, congratulations! The muscles you used to stop peeing are referred to as your "pelvic floor muscles". This is the muscle group you will be targeting when you start your kegel exercises.
Can't stop peeing once you start? Don't worry, you'll get there! Start by focusing on your pooping muscles. Remember, pooping is just peeing with your butt! Pay attention to the muscles you use when you pinch a loaf off; these are the muscles you'll also be using to keg your els.

Perfect your technique
Once you've identified your pelvic floor muscles, pop a squat, empty your bladder and then have a lie down (eventually you'll be able to kegel while sitting, standing, sprinting, etc, but I recommend using the "beginners position" to start. After all, kegel injuries are very real and can require months of recovery and painful physical therapy).
Once in postion, tighten your pelvic floor muscles (think of it as holding in a really big pee or fart), hold the contraction for five seconds, and then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time. With practice, you'll be able to do a hundred reps or more, but again, start small and focus on your form to prevent injuries.

Maintain your focus
For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen and thighs. Avoid holding your breath, stooping into the kegel, and thinking impure thoughts. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises. Picture you vagina as a second mouth, breathing in tandem with your actual mouth as the faces of those who have wronged you flash before your eyes.

Repeat 3 times a day
Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day, and no more than 2000.

Get a workout buddy!
Studies have shown that women who have a kegel partner are 6 times more likely to develop lethal vaginal muscles than those who kegel alone. Check your gym or secret lady's club for local kegel meet-ups and kegel circles.



VAGINAL WEIGHTS

Once you've got kegels down and have established a kegel workout that works for you, you may consider incorporating vaginal weights into you routine.



Typically, vaginal weights are sold in kits of 6, ranging from 25 to 100 g, although weights up to 14 lbs are available. To use, insert the smallest weight into your vagina, leaving at least an inch of the extractor string hanging out for easy removal. Kegel as usual. If you are already using the heaviest available vaginal weights and want to add an extra edge to your routine, try inserting the weight before your weekly Rocky-style training montages. There is nothing like trying to hold a 3.5 oz pellet in your cooter while running up a large flight of stairs. Wear loose shorts and no underwear for an added element of adventure.

This is literally just the tip of the vaginal fitness iceberg, ladies, so please feel free to post any comments, questions or advice in this thread. Happy kegeling!