Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

duTrieux. posted:

they described halo as being "hardcore"

Well microsoft thought it was

# ? Sep 17, 2014 01:00

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# ? May 18, 2024 19:24

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Siljmonster posted:

minecraft doesnt have a QA team

i guess they're going to beta test it�in the future

# ? Sep 17, 2014 01:00

TerminalRaptor: Nov 6, 2012; Mostly Harmless

mod sassinator posted:

layoffs round 2 probably coming this week: http://www.zdnet.com/round-two-of-microsoft-layoffs-coming-september-18-sources-7000033745/

Satya: "We're letting you go"
ex-employee: "But you just spent 2.5 Billion on Minecraft!"
Satya: "And that was a substantial loss for the company."

# ? Sep 17, 2014 01:08

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

Cardboard Box A posted:

Well microsoft thought it was

"contextualize our universe"

# ? Sep 17, 2014 04:04

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

i once worked on a pseudo-html5 retail training course for one of the halos. had to sign an nda because it contained as-yet unannounced information. the course was scheduled to launch just after e3, after all of the unannounced stuff was announced.

for whatever reason a few things remained unannounced. we tried to find out what to do with the course � remove the info? leave it in? replace it? � but the bg weren't responding to email from either our side or the game sme with whom we were working. without any word to the contrary, the course launched as planned.

within 24 hours somebody had gone through the course and taken meticulous screenshots and then "leaked" the content to various blogs and the bg was upset about it. i don't even remember what the feature was, just that it was mostly inconsequential. they were upset but they couldn't blame anybody because it's not like people weren't trying to reach them about it almost immediately after the presentation or anything.

sme:subject matter sexpert;bg:busines group

# ? Sep 17, 2014 04:30

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

duTrieux. posted:

for whatever reason a few things remained unannounced. we tried to find out what to do with the course � remove the info? leave it in? replace it? � but the bg weren't responding to email from either our side or the game sme with whom we were working. without any word to the contrary, the course launched as planned.

is there any better feeling than showing someone in the middle of pitching a fit you the sent emails where you tried to warn them/ask them/clarify for them that they were too dumb/lazy to bother reading? i say no

# ? Sep 17, 2014 04:37

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

FMguru posted:

is there any better feeling than showing someone in the middle of pitching a fit you the sent emails where you tried to warn them/ask them/clarify for them that they were too dumb/lazy to bother reading? i say no

you are indeed correct in that there is no better feeling. this includes the, as the french call it, orgasm.

# ? Sep 17, 2014 04:40

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

leader captain

# ? Sep 17, 2014 04:40

eschaton: Mar 7, 2007; Don't you just hate when you wind up in a store with people who are in a socioeconomic class that is pretty obviously about two levels lower than your own?

mod sassinator posted:

i love the MS hardware division. it's like they live in their own world and get to ignore the poo poo show that is everything else at MS.

hey, they're not perfect

for example the Apple //e couldn't be faster because the SoftCard stopped working if they changed the bus timing even slightly, and businesses needed their CP/M

# ? Sep 17, 2014 06:13

Beeftweeter: Jun 28, 2005; OFFICIAL #1 GNOME FAN

also they made those horrible starck mice and all 3 xboxes

# ? Sep 17, 2014 07:29

Metrication: Dec 12, 2010; Raskin had one problem: Jobs regarded him as an insufferable theorist or, to use Jobs's own more precise terminology, "a shithead who sucks".

whoops

Metrication fucked around with this message at 10:39 on Sep 17, 2014

# ? Sep 17, 2014 10:22

Kilroy: Oct 1, 2000

TerminalRaptor posted:

Satya: "We're letting you go"
ex-employee: "But you just spent 2.5 Billion on Minecraft!"
Satya: "And that was a substantial loss for the company."

"And anyway, we bought Minecraft with all that money we keep offshore to avoid paying taxes. I guess you can keep working here if you don't mind taking a flight to First Bank of Latvia every month to pick up your check."

# ? Sep 17, 2014 11:49

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

duTrieux. posted:

it's an artificial reef

hueg

# ? Sep 17, 2014 11:53

pagoe: Feb 19, 2013

# ? Sep 17, 2014 16:55

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

TerminalRaptor posted:

Satya: "We're letting you go"
ex-employee: "But you just spent 2.5 Billion on Minecraft!"
Satya: "And that was a substantial loss for the company."

Satya: "This slice represents our profits from Windows Phone. and this slice here represents a $12 bank error in our favor."

# ? Sep 17, 2014 18:31

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

Gates: "A three-person video game company owns 1.7 million dollars of shares?"
Satya: "Our shares were worthless, and they kept asking for toilet paper!"

# ? Sep 17, 2014 18:34

The Leck: Feb 27, 2001

Fame Douglas posted:

They are not Ion Storm.

MS Hardware has been churning out lovely product after lovely product for a long time now: Does the world really need "Arc" and "Sculpt" mice? The Intellimouse days are long gone.

this is why there is an intellimouse optical still in box waiting for my current one to die.

# ? Sep 17, 2014 18:40

theflyingexecutive: Apr 22, 2007

Satya: "Well what was your business plan?"
Ballmer: "Um, erm, well... I keep it right here, next to my heart"
*Opens drawer to reveal the paper next to a lonely Kin 2"
Satya: "This isn't a business plan, it's an escape plan!"
Ballmer (from distance): "So loooong!"

# ? Sep 17, 2014 18:41

graph: Nov 22, 2006; aaag peanuts

The Leck posted:

this is why there is an intellimouse optical still in box waiting for my current one to die.

same, but three

for a whole lifetime of intellimice optical

# ? Sep 17, 2014 18:53

Siljmonster: Dec 16, 2005; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

theflyingexecutive posted:

Satya: "This slice represents our profits from Windows Phone. and this slice here represents a $12 bank error in our favor."

theflyingexecutive posted:

Gates: "A three-person video game company owns 1.7 million dollars of shares?"
Satya: "Our shares were worthless, and they kept asking for toilet paper!"

theflyingexecutive posted:

Satya: "Well what was your business plan?"
Ballmer: "Um, erm, well... I keep it right here, next to my heart"
*Opens drawer to reveal the paper next to a lonely Kin 2"
Satya: "This isn't a business plan, it's an escape plan!"
Ballmer (from distance): "So loooong!"

# ? Sep 17, 2014 18:56

TerminalRaptor: Nov 6, 2012; Mostly Harmless

theflyingexecutive posted:

Why not Ballmer? :zoid:

TerminalRaptor fucked around with this message at 04:52 on Sep 18, 2014

# ? Sep 18, 2014 02:20

Luigi Thirty: Apr 30, 2006; Emergency confection port.

lol if you had a debugger attached to a PC while running word 1.0 or multiplan it would do this

turns out it didn't actually erase the disk, but it performed an infinite loop of zero seeks that made the floppy drive sound like it was going nuclear. apparently they took it out in '85 because pc clones were triggering it and damaging their drives.

Luigi Thirty fucked around with this message at 08:58 on Sep 18, 2014

# ? Sep 18, 2014 08:50

Workaday Wizard: Oct 23, 2009; by Pragmatica

Luigi Thirty posted:

lol if you had a debugger attached to a PC while running word 1.0 or multiplan it would do this

apparently they took it out in '85 because pc clones were triggering it and erasing their floppies for no reason

wellcume 2da cyberworld

# ? Sep 18, 2014 08:57

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

Luigi Thirty posted:

lol if you had a debugger attached to a PC while running word 1.0 or multiplan it would do this

turns out it didn't actually erase the disk, but it performed an infinite loop of zero seeks that made the floppy drive sound like it was going nuclear. apparently they took it out in '85 because pc clones were triggering it and damaging their drives.

noice

# ? Sep 18, 2014 13:30

Assepoester: Jul 18, 2004; Can't post for 10 years!; Melman v2

Tell me what you want to do...

# ? Sep 18, 2014 13:45

ClassActionFursuit: Mar 15, 2006

Cardboard Box A posted:

Tell me what you want to do...

throw this loving thing in the goddamn trash and buy a macbook

# ? Sep 18, 2014 13:49

Pinterest Mom: Jun 9, 2009

i just used office 2013 for the first time

what a loving ui disaster

# ? Sep 18, 2014 14:00

pseudorandom name: May 6, 2007

Cardboard Box A posted:

Tell me what you want to do...

need to turn the contrast down some more, it is still possible to read the UI

# ? Sep 18, 2014 14:02

z0rlandi viSSer: Nov 5, 2013

FMguru posted:

is there any better feeling than showing someone in the middle of pitching a fit you the sent emails where you tried to warn them/ask them/clarify for them that they were too dumb/lazy to bother reading? i say no

i cant read

# ? Sep 18, 2014 14:02

FMguru: Sep 10, 2003; peed on;
sexually

z0rlandi viSSer posted:

i cant read

i am sorry to hear that z0r

i do want to wish you a good morning though. good morning z0r!

# ? Sep 18, 2014 14:04

carry on then: Jul 10, 2010; by VideoGames
(and can't post for 10 years!)

LastInLine posted:

throw this loving thing in the goddamn trash and buy a macbook

it is one

# ? Sep 18, 2014 14:09

minivanmegafun: Jul 27, 2004

Pinterest Mom posted:

i just used office 2013 for the first time

what a loving ui disaster

itym

I JUST USED OFFICE 2013 FOR THE FIRST TIME

WHAT A loving UI DISASTER

# ? Sep 18, 2014 14:16

Wheany: Mar 17, 2006; Spinya^{ha^{ha^haha}ha}ha_{ha_{ha_haha}ha}ha!; Doctor Rope

ui disaster

... or authentically digital?

# ? Sep 18, 2014 14:27

ClassActionFursuit: Mar 15, 2006

carry on then posted:

it is one

then use the correct os with it and the problem disappears

# ? Sep 18, 2014 14:38

hobbesmaster: Jan 28, 2008

LastInLine posted:

throw this loving thing in the goddamn trash and buy a macbook

all he should have to do there is hit cmd-q

# ? Sep 18, 2014 15:03

Sniep: Mar 28, 2004; All I needed was that fatty blunt...

King of Breakfast

Wheany posted:

is this one of those screen shots from the new mario kart

# ? Sep 18, 2014 15:14

Phoenixan: Jan 16, 2010; Just Keep Cool-idge

HMM YES HOW CAN WE MAKE THE RIBBON EVEN WORSE

# ? Sep 18, 2014 16:59

The Leck: Feb 27, 2001

graph posted:

same, but three

for a whole lifetime of intellimice optical

the husband in paranormal activity used an intellimouse optical, making him instantly sympathetic.

# ? Sep 18, 2014 17:04

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

Luigi Thirty posted:

lol if you had a debugger attached to a PC while running word 1.0 or multiplan it would do this

turns out it didn't actually erase the disk, but it performed an infinite loop of zero seeks that made the floppy drive sound like it was going nuclear. apparently they took it out in '85 because pc clones were triggering it and damaging their drives.

lol

also, why

# ? Sep 18, 2014 17:13

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# ? May 18, 2024 19:24

duTrieux.: Oct 9, 2003

Pinterest Mom posted:

i just used office 2013 for the first time

what a loving ui disaster

i have a stack of free licenses/subscriptions for 2013 and i'ms till using 2010.

# ? Sep 18, 2014 17:14

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > Microsoft: ~*spooky thread*~ post if you dare

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