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No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

Maybe it takes advertising contracts into account?

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rare Magic card l00k
Jan 3, 2011


I'm waiting for it to turn out that one of these stocks is actually going to take 13% of a player's income from everything for the rest of his life.

Or maybe that's how it's supposed to work in the first place, hell if I know.

euphronius
Feb 18, 2009

MourningView posted:

yeah people are tripping over themselves to hire general studies majors with lots of lawn mowing experience

"Elected Team Captain of 1999 University of Michigan Football Team"

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008
Have a feel good story for once, you monsters

quote:

BALTIMORE -- On the field, their ex-teams are huge NFL rivals.

Off the field, brothers Ma'ake Kemoeatu, an ex-Baltimore Raven, and Chris Kemoeatu, an ex-Pittsburgh Steeler, are closer than close. When Chris' pro football career was cut short because he needed a kidney transplant, his older brother, whose organ was good match, quit the Ravens and donated his kidney to his 31-year-old brother.

University of Maryland Medical Center transplant surgeon Dr. Stephen Bartlett said Wednesday that the surgery done Aug. 27 was a great success, and both brothers are on their way to recovery.

"He couldn't play anymore, and I didn't want to be in a position where he couldn't play but I'd keep playing," the 35-year-old former Ravens nose tackle said. "As soon as my brother's health was at risk I wanted to stop everything."

Intruder
Mar 5, 2003

I got a taste for blown saves

Kalli posted:

Oh, another player is trying that weird stock thing that feels so much like a scam:


At least this one looks like it makes more sense then Arian Foster's.

Foster's was hilarious because it was predicated on him playing out his entire deal, then at age 31 as a runningback who gets like 400 touches per season signing an even larger contract and playing that one out too before investors could hope to make a profit

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

ROSS MY SALAD posted:

My team just obliterated the team that most people consider the best team in the NFL, we're obviously the best team in the AFC. Sorry.

Obliterated? :crossarms:

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Atticus Finch posted:

Have a feel good story for once, you monsters

I thought you were decrying yet another horrible story and I started reading the quote wondering where it was going to go wrong.

Nope, everything is good; I'm the monster.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Chichevache posted:

Obliterated? :crossarms:

it was a two score game even with the touchdown that should have been taken away on the Harvin run

Big Ol Marsh Pussy
Jan 7, 2007

ROSS MY SALAD posted:

it was a two score game even with the touchdown that should have been taken away on the Harvin run

oddly enough it wouldn't have been a two score game if the seahawks weren't given a fourth timeout

Chilichimp
Oct 24, 2006

TIE Adv xWampa

It wamp, and it stomp

Grimey Drawer

Chichevache posted:

Obliterated? :crossarms:

Shut the gently caress up, Chiche, he needs this!

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Big Ol Marsh Pussy posted:

oddly enough it wouldn't have been a two score game if the seahawks weren't given a fourth timeout

It would have been if the NFL actually reviewed all scoring plays like it says it does and took away Seattle's bogus touchdown in the first half

Big Ol Marsh Pussy
Jan 7, 2007

ROSS MY SALAD posted:

Or if the NFL actually reviewed all scoring plays like it says it does and took away Seattle's bogus touchdown in the first half

what i'm saying is, the chargers got jobbed by the refs a lot!!!

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
Basically the score in that game wasn't a reflection of how the game was played. Seattle got utterly dominated in all three phases of the game and it was still a 9 point game

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
Huh, not that I mind all that much but why is KC @ Miami a late game? I guess it was considered a good matchup going into the season?

SD/Buffalo turns out to be better, or maybe throw a bone to the Raiders and let them play a late game instead.

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack

ROSS MY SALAD posted:

it was a two score game even with the touchdown that should have been taken away on the Harvin run

Did the chargers get a trophy for this?

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

African AIDS cum posted:

Did the chargers get a trophy for this?

they got a much deserved win over the Seattle Seahawks

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack
The Santa Ana's won the game tbh the Chargers were just bystanders.

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
It wasn't santa anas that have made southern california so hot lately

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president

Grittybeard posted:

Huh, not that I mind all that much but why is KC @ Miami a late game? I guess it was considered a good matchup going into the season?

SD/Buffalo turns out to be better, or maybe throw a bone to the Raiders and let them play a late game instead.

No i'd rather keep any Raiders games(losses) as under the radar as possible tia

WHOOPS
Nov 6, 2009

Dexo posted:




Tom Brady was probably going to end up being rich as gently caress with or without football, that just looks like the resume of a future stock market guy.

This is the first I ever heard of an actual degree in generals. That just sounds like graduating with a certificate that says "yeah he took classes for 4 years probably".

African AIDS cum
Feb 29, 2012


Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaack
My thesis is that with the way they've cut down on practice time and contact, the first 2 games are like preseason games now so, the season starts this weekend. Go Hawks.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



New Breaking Madden is focusing on the believable this time:

I. MAKE THE DOLPHINS SLOW AND BAD.

http://www.sbnation.com/nfl/2014/9/18/6153463/breaking-madden-deanthony-thomas-chiefs

Impossibly Perfect Sphere
Nov 6, 2002

They wasted Luanne on Lucky!

She could of have been so much more but the writers just didn't care!

Intruder posted:

Foster's was hilarious because it was predicated on him playing out his entire deal, then at age 31 as a runningback who gets like 400 touches per season signing an even larger contract and playing that one out too before investors could hope to make a profit

Well he's a Vegan, so he'll play until he's 40.

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

African AIDS cum posted:

Did the chargers get a trophy for this?

They are the current title belt holders, so kind of.

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president
Get ready to fire up the NFL coaching carousel thread

quote:

Vic TafurVerified account
‏@VicTafur
Mark Davis and Reggie McKenzie aren’t talking. So that 2-week window before the bye for Dennis Allen to turn things around seems about right

Oakland has a week 4 bye and the next two games are @ New England for their Home opener (The Raiders will not win this) and a "home" game vs the Dolphins in London. (The Raiders struggle against the Dolphins when heading east, much less loving London).

Welcome, Oakland Raiders Head Coach Tony Sparano

Azhais
Feb 5, 2007
Switchblade Switcharoo
I dunno, Mark Davis seems like a Schiano man

b0ng
Jan 16, 2004

Thats a nice Game 7 you have there. Would be a shame if somebody nailed it down.

NC-17 posted:

Well he's a Vegan, so he'll play until he's 40.

He did that for a season or so (And dear god, people actually called into sports radio wondering aloud if this was a reason he wasn't running the ball as effectively) but he has since said that he will eat some meats.

What I'm trying to say is sports fans in general are really loving stupid.

Blitz7x posted:

Get ready to fire up the NFL coaching carousel thread


Oakland has a week 4 bye and the next two games are @ New England for their Home opener (The Raiders will not win this) and a "home" game vs the Dolphins in London. (The Raiders struggle against the Dolphins when heading east, much less loving London).

Welcome, Oakland Raiders Head Coach Tony Sparano

But raider fans want the sporano man!

I thought Dennis Allen was some sort of defensive coach, that defense looks like boiled poo poo.

Madcosby
Mar 4, 2003

by FactsAreUseless
Roses are red, violets are domestic, give me sex or I'll headbutt you

Blitz of 404 Error
Sep 19, 2007

Joe Biden is a top 15 president
Dennis Allen
Head Coach

Bobby April Bad idea
Special Teams Coordinator

Chris Boniol Who?
Assistant Special Teams

John DeFilippo Who?
Quarterbacks

Ted Gilmore Who?
Wide Receivers

John Grieco Who?
Strength and Conditioning

Justin Griffith Who?
Quality Control - Offense

Nick Holz Who?
Offensive Assistant

Mark Hutson Who?
Tight Ends

Greg Olson Bad
Offensive Coordinator

Marcus Robertson Who?
Assistant Defensive Backs

Bob Sanders Who?
Linebackers

Eric Sanders Who?, also fire this guy
Quality Control - Defense

Al Saunders Bad idea
Senior Offensive Assistant

Kelly Skipper Who?
Running Backs

Travis Smith Who?
Defensive Assistant

Tony Sparano :siren:
Assistant Head Coach/Offensive Line

Vernon Stephens Who?
Assistant Strength and Conditioning

Jason Tarver Bad idea
Defensive Coordinator

Terrell Williams Who?
Defensive Line

Joe Woods Who?
Defensive Backs

Its Miller Time
Dec 4, 2004

This graph owns.



I wish Nate knew enough about football to show us where Romo falls on that.

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/skeptical-football-manning-vs-messi-and-andrew-luck-experiment/

b0ng
Jan 16, 2004

Thats a nice Game 7 you have there. Would be a shame if somebody nailed it down.

Blitz7x posted:


Bob Sanders Who?
Linebackers

Is that the Bob Sanders? The glass missle? The 2006 Defensive player of the year?

EDIT: It is not.

No Irish Need Imply
Nov 30, 2008
If they wait until the end of the season they can probably have Hue Jackson back.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.
The 12th Puppies? The Legion of Bark?

wheez the roux
Aug 2, 2004
THEY SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO LYNCH

Death to the Seahawks. Death to Seahawks posters.

Mister Fister posted:

SA is OBSESSED with cucking :psyduck:

because it's a Fun thing to do, and Good. dismantle the institution of marriage imho.

Kalli
Jun 2, 2001



Word of Muth breaks down what went on in the interior of the Bears - 49ers game: http://www.footballoutsiders.com/word-muth/2014/word-muth-bears-upset-49ers

Watch as Justin Smith both annihilates some poor guard over and over again and gets hit by a Kyle Long shaped bus.

Dr_Strangelove
Dec 16, 2003

Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!

Blitz7x posted:

Chris Boniol Who?
Assistant Special Teams

Cowboys kicker in the '90s. I remember Summerall elongating his name: BONNNE-YOLLLLLLLL

Brannock
Feb 9, 2006

by exmarx
Fallen Rib

Blitz7x posted:

Get ready to fire up the NFL coaching carousel thread


Oakland has a week 4 bye and the next two games are @ New England for their Home opener (The Raiders will not win this) and a "home" game vs the Dolphins in London. (The Raiders struggle against the Dolphins when heading east, much less loving London).

Welcome, Oakland Raiders Head Coach Tony Sparano

Weren't McKenzie/Allen supposed to have multiple years of leeway to rebuild the Raiders from the trash heap? Seems really counterproductive to bring in a GM to blow it all up and start over, then fire him and his coach before he can actually get the rebuild process going full steam.

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

What do you figure the assistant special teams coach makes? I'm sure it's more than me, but he also feels poor every day he drives to work.

elime anning
Nov 19, 2002

Morbid Hound

Its Miller Time posted:

This graph owns.



I wish Nate knew enough about football to show us where Romo falls on that.

http://fivethirtyeight.com/features/skeptical-football-manning-vs-messi-and-andrew-luck-experiment/

I really want to know which QB has gone 0/36
edit: and 1/44, for that matter

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Bush Did Outer Heaven
Jan 18, 2005

The Sweetest Payne
In Chris Boniol related news, I have his autograph.

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