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Old Fart posted:Rule of thumb is to estimate high. You're already planning to bust your budget and you haven't even checked prices. I just did it. Looks like you have your choice of one or two star motels and hostels in Milpitas and San Pablo. Hope you don't get bedbugs. And I'm with ya, I can stay on the cheap. But this poo poo is super easy to get an exact price right now. Do it.
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Sep 24, 2014 01:16
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Knyteguy posted:Gonna stay outside the city. Maybe Berkeley gotta check the prices. We're going during the week so rates should be cheaper too. If not then San Jose isn't that far we've stayed there while checking out SF before. I love driving, this is more about the road trip for me. Might try Oakland I've also stayed there before. You do realize that hotels are cheaper on the weekends (with a few exceptions, Vegas comes to mind) because they typically don't fill up. During the week business travel takes care of it and they charge more. I doubt you will get any decent meal for under $50 as well (vacation and all, got to go some place cool). Also you are going to be staying in one lovely rear end hotel.
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Sep 24, 2014 01:38
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spwrozek posted:You do realize that hotels are cheaper on the weekends (with a few exceptions, Vegas comes to mind) because they typically don't fill up. During the week business travel takes care of it and they charge more. Hm no I didn't know that. Where I live a motel is $37 during the week, and like $99-$120 during the weekend. We'll check out Airbnb though.
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Sep 24, 2014 01:48
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Knyteguy posted:I don't like the idea of splitting discretionary because it's not blow money, it's money we need to mutually make decisions on like that pet trainer. I'll talk to her about her getting some personal spending money too though. I probably wouldn't mind a little myself. Just to recap this, your original plan for October was to spend $600 discretionary on a PS4 for you, and $300 on a vacation you say your wife really needs but which you haven't even bothered to price out to make sure you can pull it off for that cheap. You say this kind of thing is okay because your wife "doesn't want things"*. Since you got called out, you now claim the discretionary isn't blow money after all but yeah, okay, maybe your wife might conceivably want a little spending money sometimes--and, let me emphasize this again, "I probably wouldn't mind a little myself." Going out on a limb here, Knyteguy, but I'm going to have to say that none of the great advice you've been getting can truly help you until you learn to stop being so self-absorbed. Stop using your poorly thought out sacrifices as justification to Buy a Thing, stop acting like wanting something means you deserve to have it, and stop playing shell games with your budget because, like every BFC superstar ever, you are fooling nobody but yourself. *Things your wife might want that you probably could have provided if you put any planning into non-entertainment purchases: a living space large enough for 7(+1) occupants, accessible modern laundry facilities, more than $475.48 saved in the HSA that's supposed to pay the majority of the baby medical expenses.
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Sep 24, 2014 02:48
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strawberrymousse posted:Just to recap this, your original plan for October was to spend $600 discretionary on a PS4 for you, and $300 on a vacation you say your wife really needs but which you haven't even bothered to price out to make sure you can pull it off for that cheap. You say this kind of thing is okay because your wife "doesn't want things"*. Since you got called out, you now claim the discretionary isn't blow money after all but yeah, okay, maybe your wife might conceivably want a little spending money sometimes--and, let me emphasize this again, "I probably wouldn't mind a little myself." You're only seeing a small part of the picture here. It's not like my wife is crying in a corner waiting for her big mean husband to throw her a bone. I loving welcome her to go spend money any time she wants, and she knows this. She has absolute financial freedom. We usually do a lot more on her birthdays than mine and that's another way stuff evens out. One time we took a trip to San Francisco for her birthday, stayed in the city for I think 2 days in a nice hotel, I got her a nice pearl necklace (real gold), we ate at a really nice Italian restaurant, etc etc. Then on my birthday that year we ended up staying home eating some homecooked crab which was also awesome. The year before that we went to Six Flags for her bday and spent a few days with her family. She also enjoys the movies and sports our nice shiny wireless hdmi provides, and uses the PS3 more than I do for her con-fangled guitar playing game (Rocksmith), and is using it daily now for "How I Met Your Mother"  Also my wife keeps up on the thread, and she's heavily involved in every discussion we make financially. She understands the sacrifices we're making with our living area as much as I do. And if she wanted to move to another place -right now- I wouldn't argue with her. We could rent almost any house in this city and still be OK. It's not like we moved here because we had to. It was so we could start working on getting her this house she wants. And we're also contributing the absolute maximum amount to the HSA allowed by law, which means we'll hit maximum contribution by the end of the year. We've got $530 or so of the delivery already paid for, which will be $1,060 at the end of this week. Seriously let my wife speak for herself. She's not some fragile girl who listens to every single thing I say, and bends to my every whim. She is as involved in all of this as I am, even if she isn't posting about it. Edit: and I meant I wouldn't mind a little myself [outside of the discretionary budget] as seen below. Jeez. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 04:27 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 03:05
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Knyteguy posted:Seriously let my wife speak for herself. She's not some fragile girl who listens to every single thing I say, and bends to my every whim. She is as involved in all of this as I am, even if she isn't posting about it. Then split up your discretionary money 250 each and be done with it. If she then wants to gift you things from her budget, more power to her, but it is what it is. At least there will be transparency this way.
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Sep 24, 2014 04:16
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Budget draft #3pre:Net Monthly Income Me 4330 Wife 400 (net less HSA) --- Total 4730 Pretax Savings HSA Contribution 1350 // Not reflected in income, too lazy to calculate at the moment Post Tax Savings Emergency Savings 1300 Home Downpayment 100 Car Repairs 50 Holiday/Giving 25 Clothes 25 Disc. Savings 0 // Rollover category only --- Total 1500 Costs Rent 790 Debt 700 Bills 600 Groceries 600 Discretionary 300 Wife Spending 100 Husband Spending 100 Business 40 Medical 0 // HSA should cover all going forward --- Total 3230 Planned Expenditures Vacation 350* Dog Trainer 120 // Guesstimate * Vacation $300 from savings, $50 from our discretionary budget for the month (not reflected in budget categories above). How's that? I know I said I wanted to wait on the house, but I think it will be motivating to contribute a little money in there. Veskit we tried that before with separate funds. It was too much of a loving pain trying to figure out who needs to contribute what if we went out to eat or splitting things like Netflix evenly and stuff. It's a huge pain in the rear end to enter things into a budget spreadsheet like that, and it doesn't correctly match our bank statement. I think this will be a good setup for us. Open to input on the actual values though. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 04:30 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 04:23
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What month is your wife's birthday? Are you planning on budgeting for that, or will it just be that whole months discretionary? I think, for me, the issue is that once you realized you had a pants emergency, why didn't you also say "well that sucks. I have to use the money I earmarked for my ps4, and use it for pants. I guess I'll wait on the new gaming system, since I'm an adult and I understand priorities."
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Sep 24, 2014 04:32
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Eris posted:What month is your wife's birthday? The PS4 was already out of the picture, and we didn't actually have any money earmarked for it? Wife's birthday is in October. Oh poo poo it's the same time we're taking a trip
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Sep 24, 2014 04:33
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^haha, who knew birthdays fall at the same time every year for a person. Vacation budget at $350. Love it. I think you should skip the dog training and throw it into the dirt bike fund. Anyone want to take bets on the total cost of the vacation. Over/Under at $400 sounds good? What do you got.
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Sep 24, 2014 04:34
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One more thought on college savings - look into Upromise also, you link your 529 to it and you can get cash back. Adds up. You are making the mistake of thinking about your wife's needs as similar to your needs. I mean you are actually talking about the ps3 and wireless HDMI as things she also enjoys. I'm sure she does use them, and I'm sure she enjoys them, but come on. If your wife is like most women (not all of course, but most that I have met) what she craves is security and stability, especially with a baby on the way. Make that happen, and stop thinking about yourself. For the next little bit, you don't count. I can feel you objecting, but seriously. It's a mindfuck, and I think it is what leads to mid-life crisis at times, but if you want to make this all work, you have to put the baby and your wife not just ahead of yourself but WAY ahead of yourself. I play tennis 3x a week and I run and lift weights. I also watch the Bengals every week. That's it. Otherwise I am working my rear end off for my family. When I was your age with a baby on the way I was working 80-100 hours a week. Now I work 60-70 because I play with my kids in the evenings. That's what it takes if you want to pull yourself out of worker drone strapped with debt life. It's not forever, but that's the reality if you want to do this correctly. Or you can half-rear end it and stumble through, and it's not like your kids will die or you'll get divorced necessarily, but it's not going to be optimal, and there's a fair chance your kids will turn to retail therapy when they are stressed out as adults instead of having coping skills (because they will emulate you), and they'll also vaguely think of their dad as a gently caress up because kids when they get old enough can tell that you are putting your wants ahead of their wants/needs. I post in your thread because I think you are entrepreneurial which I respect, but I'm not sure you realize how much commitment it takes. Get mentally healthy, put the wife and baby first, and get to work. There's no reason you shouldn't have finished that book yet and you need to be doing something every day with the business that puts money in your pocket. Meaning no fake activity like research or buying business cards. Real work - selling, getting clients, creating value somehow that you can sell to others.
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Sep 24, 2014 04:34
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spwrozek posted:^haha, who knew birthdays fall at the same time every year for a person. I was being sarcastic. We're kind of taking this trip for my wife's birthday. Sorry I don't tell Goons every single little thing And ya know what this is bull poo poo. I only changed it because goons were saying it wasn't enough. Harp on them if you disagree with it. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 04:57 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 04:38
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Knyte, I ask you if you're bullshiting us or yourself because of things like this. Are you purposely doing this with your budget, or do you not even realize it? Tell me what I'm going to point out and why it's a problem... Then seriously tell us, are you doing this subconsciously, or purposely with reason?    Maybe I can't keep up I have no idea. Where did your fuel budget even go at this point on top of the point I'm trying to make. Veskit fucked around with this message at 05:28 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 05:08
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Veskit posted:Knyte, I ask you if you're bullshiting us or yourself because of things like this. Are you purposely doing this with your budget, or do you not even realize it? Tell me what I'm going to point out and why it's a problem... Then seriously tell us, are you doing this subconsciously, or purposely with reason? Not seeing what you're seeing? Rent higher than before: This budget should stay constant for 3 months. That was the only rule set in place that I should follow. Rent is cheaper this month, but it will be what I budgeted for next month. Groceries higher than before: Horking I think suggested it, and it's a good idea. Lots of grocery room will help us not eat out. There's room here. Discretionary higher than before: You're the one who kept saying bring it up to $500, so I did. Can you just point out what you mean? Are we doing this to min-max like to death, or are we trying to come up with budgeting skills I can use for the rest of my life? Is this not a trial run of the real budget we'll switch to in 3 months? Fuel: Veskit fuel would be under Bills.
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Sep 24, 2014 05:35
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Also imabanana I apologize that I didn't get to your post yet. It's a lot easier to react to posters on my rear end than reply to someone not doing that. And I mean this without offense to anyone trying to help. Well except you spwrozek I thought we were Lions bros  (just playing we're still Lions bros)Here's a response: imabanana posted:One more thought on college savings - look into Upromise also, you link your 529 to it and you can get cash back. Adds up. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 05:41 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 05:36
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Sorry I can't keep up with the bouncing numbers. I couldn't figure out how the grocery budget shot up to 600 bucks and seems to bounce around everytime you remake a budget, especially since by now you should have a good grasp on what a reasonable grocery budget should be. Also seriously where did fuel go.
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Sep 24, 2014 05:38
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Veskit posted:Sorry I can't keep up with the bouncing numbers. I couldn't figure out how the grocery budget shot up to 600 bucks and seems to bounce around everytime you remake a budget, especially since by now you should have a good grasp on what a reasonable grocery budget should be. Yea sorry if it's confusing. Fuel (I edited it in my last post) is under bills. I think $600 would be really good for us. I know it's very high, but we've run the gamut from around $600 to as low as $90 in a month (seriously, in this thread)... and well having a bunch of groceries is pretty awesome. Edit: and ideally we'll only hit like $400 of that. I know groceries is something we're under budget on so far this month, and $400 is our budget. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 05:38
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Knyteguy posted:Yea sorry if it's confusing. What the poo poo are under bills then and how does that hit 600 dollars? Also you're trying to come and tell me that it's a good idea to learn to cut your restaurant spending by increasing your grocery spending equally as much, and then chalk it up as a learning to budget experience. Not really going to fly in my eyes, but hey whatever.
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Sep 24, 2014 05:47
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Veskit posted:What the poo poo are under bills then and how does that hit 600 dollars? Also you're trying to come and tell me that it's a good idea to learn to cut your restaurant spending by increasing your grocery spending equally as much, and then chalk it up as a learning to budget experience. Not really going to fly in my eyes, but hey whatever. gently caress man I dunno. Like someone said not everyone has a "what should we tell Knyteguy today" meeting. Trying to put all this advice as together as best I can. Bills is: Netflix Electricity Internet Car Insurance Renters Insurance Phone Fuel Pets I actually may have double dipped on some stuff (thanks for pointing out that it looked higher than it should). Bills should be... $120 + $7.99 + $50 + $100 + $18.99 + $20 + $150 + 150 gently caress it isn't adding up. I'll separate the budget categories and post budget draft #4. (finances have been about 90% of my energy the past couple days)
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Sep 24, 2014 05:53
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Sometimes I think you take things the wrong way. I think the people commenting on the trip cost are hoping you'll hunker down and say, "Well we're not going to loving overspend on this trip so there." Instead you raise the budget for the trip. Similarly, I am tempted to say, "Are you really able to spend only $100 in a whole month? Is this a realistic budget?" and my hope is that you will respond with "poo poo yes, it's realistic and I'm going to loving do it." like a badass.
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Sep 24, 2014 05:54
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Hawkgirl posted:Sometimes I think you take things the wrong way. I think the people commenting on the trip cost are hoping you'll hunker down and say, "Well we're not going to loving overspend on this trip so there." Instead you raise the budget for the trip. Similarly, I am tempted to say, "Are you really able to spend only $100 in a whole month? Is this a realistic budget?" and my hope is that you will respond with "poo poo yes, it's realistic and I'm going to loving do it." like a badass. At some point he has to accurately estimate what he will spend - it does no good written down on the budget if he then blows it. Certainly it's good to have discipline and stick to what you have written down, but both are skills worth cultivating.
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Sep 24, 2014 05:57
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Hawkgirl posted:Sometimes I think you take things the wrong way. I think the people commenting on the trip cost are hoping you'll hunker down and say, "Well we're not going to loving overspend on this trip so there." Instead you raise the budget for the trip. Similarly, I am tempted to say, "Are you really able to spend only $100 in a whole month? Is this a realistic budget?" and my hope is that you will respond with "poo poo yes, it's realistic and I'm going to loving do it." like a badass. Hah well jeez at least a couple people having a little bit of confidence in me would help me not second-guess every single thing I do here. I'm confident we can do it, but it feels like no one else is. In response to your question: poo poo yes, it's realistic and I'm going to loving do it. Seriously. I'm totally amped to not just save a lot, but to instead not spend a lot. My focus for the past 10 months or so that this thread has been around has been to save a lot... without much regard to the not spending part. I know it might not seem like much of a difference to some people, but I think it's a different outlook for me, and I'm really hoping it means a lot. I just need to get this budget set. I expect it to take a few more days to get it right. I think it's good we're all talking it over a bit. Fourth budget incoming tonight some time.
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Sep 24, 2014 06:01
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Budget draft #4pre:Net Monthly Income Me 4330 Wife 400 (net less HSA) --- Total 4730 Pretax Savings HSA Contribution 1350 // Not reflected in income, too lazy to calculate at the moment Post Tax Savings Emergency Savings 1000 Moving Fees 700 Home Downpayment 100 Car Repairs 50 Vet Bills 50 Holiday/Giving 25 Clothes 25 Disc. Savings 0 // Rollover category only --- Total 1950 Costs Rent 790 Debt 700 Groceries 400 Pets 150 Fuel 130 Electricity 100 Car Insurance 100 Internet 50 Renters Insurance 20 Phone 19 Netflix 8 Medical 0 // HSA should cover all going forward --- Total 2467 Discretionary Discretionary 200 Husband Spending 50 Wife Spending 75 --- Total 325 Savings Expenditures (One time goon approved waiver) House Deposit 200 // From Savings (reallocated previous vacation) Vacation 100 // From Savings --- Total 300 :weed:  Gonna be loving hard, but I'm going to do this. I know April that you said we should stay here until lease end... and I initially agreed with you. However the penalty for breaking our lease is only the forfeiture of our deposit here, which is like $450 at the very most. We're going to save $2,500 to move into a rental home, and get the gently caress out of here in January, approximately 1 month before the baby is born. This apartment is no place for a baby. Or I guess more specifically, it's no place for my baby. Plus like it's been said I'm miserable here, and my wife is miserable here. I know it's not the best financial decision, but it might be the best mental health decision. PLUS I want to be able to devote time to my business ventures! Got everything I need so it won't necessarily cost much, but I just need a quiet place to do it. Vacation: my wife and I talked about it, and we're not going on the vacation. THIS IS NOT FOR SELFISH REASONS. Instead I allocated $200 of the vacation fund we were going to use to be put towards the house deposit, and I've given her complete control of the rest of the $100. As I told her she can do anything with this during her vacation from work that she wants. If she wants to go a spa day that's cool. If she wants to buy clothes with it that's cool. If she wants to go on a date night with it that's cool. I want her to take some time to use this money however she wants. Beyond the $100 I told her I'd load up any kindle books she wants, so she can just hang out by herself, read, soak her feet in epson salt, then maybe go visit with her grandma or something. If we change our minds on the house because :goonrush: then the money will be allocated into the emergency fund. However since I work from home once a week I think we'll need a place where I can have an office. It's going to be impossible to work from home with a newborn in the same room as I am, especially 20 times (5 months until lease is up after the baby is born, 4 times a month). Again my office is where the dining room should be. Might get rid of some of the cats... but not making any promises here. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 07:42 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 07:28
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Have you been able to forecast how much you will blow your savings / budget changes by moving and increasing your rent?
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Sep 24, 2014 07:39
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n8r posted:Have you been able to forecast how much you will blow your savings / budget changes by moving and increasing your rent? Well, we forecasted what it would be like in a $1,500/mo rental with my wife not working, and $500 a month in baby expenses, and I just don't see that working. Anything out of the ordinary would cause us to go over budget, and I don't think we could save anything. Insurance is the killer here. But it should be a 1:1 ratio in that 1 dollar of rent would cost about 1 dollar of savings. I think that's what you're asking? Really though we'll be targeting a place around $1,100-$1,300 a month. I was just looking in the neighborhood that my work is in (unfortunately there's really not anywhere we could move where my wife could walk to work as well, that is also a house) and there are houses around this price. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 07:46 on Sep 24, 2014 |
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Sep 24, 2014 07:44
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Knyteguy posted:Well, we forecasted what it would be like in a $1,500/mo rental with my wife not working, and $500 a month in baby expenses, and I just don't see that working. Anything out of the ordinary would cause us to go over budget, and I don't think we could save anything. Insurance is the killer here. Jesus tapdancing christ. I give up. You have not proven in any way that you are disciplined enough to stay on budget while your finances COULD be in the best possible shape (cheap apartment, wife is still working). The whole point of not breaking your lease and getting your poo poo sorted out before moving is so that you don't REALLY screw yourself over by moving into a place that you won't be able to afford in six months. But nope, Knyteguy sees something shiny RIGHT GODDAMN NOW!!! You know what? Go ahead, buy the PS4. If you're going to act like a child, might as well have the toys. April on page 29 posted:Don't kneejerk. Don't say "hey, SA said to move, let's go!" But really stop and think and plan for once.
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Sep 24, 2014 10:29
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April posted:You know what? Go ahead, buy the PS4. If you're going to act like a child, might as well have the toys. 
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Sep 24, 2014 12:51
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I'm actually a little bummed out you're not taking the trip. I think your wife deserves to get out a bit before it's nothing but baby, and Reno to SF is a pretty easy drive. I know when I've had to get my head together over big life changes, smoking a joint in the dunes at Ocean Beach always did the trick. The thing that sucked was that you were budgeting so little for this trip for your wife's birthday at the same time as budgeting a crazy ridiculous expensive useless toy for yourself. I'm happy to help you get a month ahead. It's so much easier that way, I swear to you. You get to make plans with money you actually have, not money you hope to get. You get to pay bills all at once, or even better just pop 'em on auto-pay. There's no psychological stress of dipping into savings all the time. It's pretty awesome, and the single best thing I ever did, other than start budgeting in the first place. And FWIW, this thread has helped me realize that lately I've been reconciling more than actually budgeting. I got out of debt and hit my other big goals, so I got sloppy. So, uh, thanks. 
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Sep 24, 2014 13:53
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April posted:You know what? Go ahead, buy the PS4. If you're going to act like a child, might as well have the toys. 
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Sep 24, 2014 14:03
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April posted:You know what? Go ahead, buy the PS4. If you're going to act like a child, might as well have the toys. I've been lurking this thread from the beginning and its made me realize how important it is to actually budget in my own life, but this just got reaaaal 
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Sep 24, 2014 15:33
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This feels like the same exact pattern that threw you into *needing* more spending money and the PS4. It's a cycle - you get excited about the possibilities if you can just get a handle on your finances, so you crash diet, so you get extra stressed, so you splurge without thinking and once again have to reconcile your spending to fit what you make. You also once again changed game plans without running it by the thread first. I think you could save yourself a lot of grief by laying out your thoughts instead of posting "here is the new budget and the new plan" as if there is no more discussion to be had. Honestly (and I think someone else said this too) it feels a little like you subconsciously want to antagonize the thread posters so that when you fail your goals, you can think "if only those assholes were a little more supportive, maybe I'd be out of this mess by now." Or maybe you just have a subconscious desire to stir up drama. I truly don't think you're doing it on purpose, but it's still happening. I loved your last response to me that gently caress yeah you're sticking to that budget...but then you immediately drastically changed your budget. Not just fixing the bills like you said you would, but completely changing your short- and long-term goals. Well, you just failed at what you said you'd do! You said "gently caress yeah I'm sticking to this budget" and then you absolutely did not. That's frustrating to watch.
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Sep 24, 2014 15:42
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OK my wife is going to chip in today. She feels confused too and maybe a different perspective would help both you guys, and us.Hawkgirl posted:This feels like the same exact pattern that threw you into *needing* more spending money and the PS4. It's a cycle - you get excited about the possibilities if you can just get a handle on your finances, so you crash diet, so you get extra stressed, so you splurge without thinking and once again have to reconcile your spending to fit what you make. I did/am running the moving by the thread. That's why I added in the line about if everyone said it was a bad idea, then the house deposit savings would go into the emergency fund. quote:If we change our minds on the house because :goonrush: then the money will be allocated into the emergency fund. :goonrush: may have been a bad Starcraft joke, but what I meant was if everyone thought it was a bad idea then that's where the money would go instead. I'm trying to formulate a plan here, even if some people disagree with some points. I think Hawkgirl you even said to use this thread as a little bit of an echo chamber. Trying to do that. I can stick with this "crash diet". We've done it before, I can do it again. That budget is realistic, and I can do that. My wife and I will need to revisit the budget some months from now, but I'm confident we can do it, even if I get an urge to buy something stupid because it's hard and stressful. Old Fart posted:I'm actually a little bummed out you're not taking the trip. I think your wife deserves to get out a bit before it's nothing but baby, and Reno to SF is a pretty easy drive. I know when I've had to get my head together over big life changes, smoking a joint in the dunes at Ocean Beach always did the trick. I let my wife decide on the vacation. She is the one who deleted the line on the budget post I made last night even. The trip just needs to be pushed off to when we're ready for it, which can still happen before her pregnancy, even if she won't have a week off to do it. --- Look my wife and I were talking in the car on the morning commute this morning, and we came to a consensus on the things we need to work on financially, and the things that we're wasting energy working on, because we don't have a problem with them. Financial struggle points: 1) Getting/planning to get big purchases like the PS4 without having the money for them. Solution: SAVE and roll over the discretionary. We've taken at least planning steps to get here. Pre-PS4 I didn't really know how to save for stuff like this. Methodology wise I mean. 2) Planning for unexpected, expected purchases like vet bills, clothes, and the like. Solution: Get some separate savings accounts setup and contribute X amount to them monthly. We've taken at least planning steps here. 3) Restaurants. Solution: Slow cook meals ahead at home. This will probably always be a little bit of a struggle for us, until we can break the habit. 4) Budgeting not reconciling. Solution: Plan a line item, plan why that line carries the dollar amount that it does, and plan purchases around the line item, not the other way around. I get why I shouldn't put $700 in a line item, even if we spent that on eating out one month sometime or whatever. We are figuring out what are expenses are and budgeting around that, instead of budgeting first and then planning our expenses around that. Did I get that right? 5) Rash decisions. Solutions: Plan ahead, thoroughly. That's pretty much the gist of our financial situation, and the problems that we have with it. Planning 3.5 months ahead is not a rash decision (see below) On the house situation: look we've been changing our minds on not just this one thing, but loving everything financially every day, multiple times a day. That has to stop. It's making it impossible for me to focus on what we need to do today. Here's what our plan is: We save up $2,500 for a house deposit, with the plan to move by January. Guess what we're a little fickle and January is a long way away. We may very well decide that gently caress it we can stay in this place and save more money, let's rollover that $2,500 into debt, or into our house downpayment savings, or finish up our emergency fund, or even ya know what let's just loving commit and go rent a house. April I obviously respect your opinion here because I've taken steps to implement a lot of what you've said. You said something that I thought was important. That our savings goals weren't very good, because it was kind of abstract (paraphrasing). We're kind of just saving to save, especially in the case of the emergency fund. This is us saving for something that has some meaning and improving our situation. We don't -have- to commit to getting out of this apartment, but having an out if we wanted to sure would be empowering. What I'm saying is, is there is a lot of time between January and now. There is absolutely no harm in saving $2,500.00 even if it has a label maybe a few people don't like. I think it's pretty much a universal consensus that that statement is true. With that said, if everyone still thinks saving for a rental deposit is a terrible idea, then well it's probably a good idea to listen to the consensus.
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Sep 24, 2014 16:31
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Side note: Moving house with an 8-month-pregnant wife is going to be a nightmare and I can direct you to my friends with a 6-week-old who did just that for further explanation.
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Sep 24, 2014 16:40
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Knyteguy posted:I can stick with this "crash diet". We've done it before, I can do it again. That budget is realistic, and I can do that. You say this over and over again and yet for the past 3 years that you've been making/posting in budget threads you've never once actually proved it. Being successful for one month and then overspending in the next doesn't count. Knyteguy posted:My wife and I will need to revisit the budget some months from now, but I'm confident we can do it, even if I get an urge to buy something stupid because it's hard and stressful. A budget isn't supposed to change. Unless there's major life changing events that you couldn't predict. Correct Budget Change: You break your leg, miss work, and have medical bills. Budget needs to change to reflect a decreased spending and possibly dipping into the emergency fund to cover. Incorrect Budget Change: I want a PS4 so now this month discretionary is $600 higher! When you went on your first "crash diet" everyone warned you that you need to be more realistic and you scoffed at thread talking about how "disciplined" you were and how "you never spent money on video games" and how you "rarely buy things for yourself" and how "your wife is cheap and won't spend money". And then 1-2 months later it's "oops sorry guys trip, video games, spending budget, unhappy, need to have, etc". Honestly though I think the only thing that separates you from Slow Motion is Slow Motion laughed at thread where you just come in bashful/remorseful about your mistakes. And yet at the end of the day Slow Motion is out of debt (sans 401k loan) and you've made almost no progress all year. Your other issue is that you can't please everyone. And at the end of the day it's your life. Figure out what works best for you and go with it. Plenty of people live happily paycheck to paycheck.
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Sep 24, 2014 16:47
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Knyteguy posted:OK my wife is going to chip in today. She feels confused too and maybe a different perspective would help both you guys, and us. You really, truly, seriously, don't understand why renting a more expensive place before you can stick to a budget in a cheap place is a bad idea, do you? In simple terms, you need to try living as though you already have the more expensive house, and no income from your wife, for several months, WITHOUT OVERSPENDING, and then decide if you can afford it. You can't even do that now. It doesn't matter how much you plan to save, want to save, or how you are going to split the savings - you have yet to show that you can commit to a plan, and make it work. Part of that is lousy planning (for example, planning to never replace clothing again), part of it is that you just don't have any discipline or concept of delayed gratification. Jumping to the more expensive house without even trying to live on the reduced budget just proves my point. Nobody is saying "don't save for a deposit". We are saying "you CAN NOT DO this, even with a deposit, because you have yet to stick to a budget under best-case circumstances." And this whole "I'm confident I can do it" thing is a bad joke at this point.
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Sep 24, 2014 16:52
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Bugamol posted:You say this over and over again and yet for the past 3 years that you've been making/posting in budget threads you've never once actually proved it. Being successful for one month and then overspending in the next doesn't count. I don't care if everyone thinks it is unrealistic Bug. There's plenty of other people out there with leaner budgets than I put out there. poo poo that's still a lot of discretionary money, and it can really add up if we're lean for a few months. I'm loving in this again man. I'm feeling pretty enlightened about getting us out of our situation for real. That list of things that I think would make me happy or whatever. I've never given up because I've failed in the past or something. I would have never quit smoking if I was like that. I'm actually a pretty strong guy. When I said we need to change the budget I was referring to the baby. You're right I can't please everyone. I've been trying to do that in here and it's driving me loving crazy. That's what I mean when I say we keep changing our plans, and goals, all of the time. I'm in this forum from the time I get to work, to the time I go to sleep. I can't keep doing that. I need to pick a path here and go with it before I say gently caress it and start living paycheck to paycheck again. That's what I'm trying to do with this budget I keep redrafting. This needs to be the one we move forward with from here on out. If anyone has suggestions or criticisms about this budget then please say it now. It's not changing for awhile.
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Sep 24, 2014 16:57
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April posted:You really, truly, seriously, don't understand why renting a more expensive place before you can stick to a budget in a cheap place is a bad idea, do you? Well I know our rent used to be double what it is now, and we made it? We're practically living without my wife's income as it is now. Let's skip this in-between wish-washy stuff and just jump right to what needs to be done. This is pretty binary; it will prove if I can do it, or if I cannot do it. I'm feeling pretty good about what we've learned in terms of how to use the discretionary money going forward. If you think we should try to cut my wife's income (from the budget), and act like we have a more expensive house then I want to start with that. I've had enough of an easing into it period. 3 years or so like Bugamol said? I'm tired of being non-committal. It's like I'm quitting smoking by smoking a little bit less every day, instead of just doing what needs to be done and quit putting the drat cigarettes in my mouth.
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Sep 24, 2014 17:03
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I can see how your lack of physical space is something of a concern, especially as you have a baby coming. While a baby doesn't need a room all to its own in the first few months, the stuff parents seem to accumulate with a newborn certainly needs somewhere to go. While you and your wife can perhaps be trusted not to buy things that won't be needed for that baby for weeks/months/years, the same cannot be said of the well-wishers in your life. With Christmas coming, it isn't a stretch to think you will be inundated with bulky baby items even if their arrival is somewhat ill-timed. This makes your desire to have more space understandable, and I would even say reasonable. In descending order of preference, these are your options: 1) Deal with it. As long as the apartment doesn't resemble a place featured on one of those hoarder shows on TLC, you can suck it up for a few months until the lease is up and you can move to a more accommodating house/apartment. 2) Get rid of some things. Because you are uneager to part with some of the stuff you already have and it would be rather gauche to return gifts for the baby, perhaps this isn't all that good a fit. But it is a valid option and one that you really should consider. 3) Find somewhere that will store some of those things on a temporary basis. Ideally this would be a friend or relative who can let you stash some boxes for a few months until you have ended the lease on the apartment and move. If not, you're looking at a storage locker. Here's the bad news about a storage locker: without pics to prove you really up to your eyeballs in stuff and without a really valid reason that you need to keep some of the things that are already piling up, this thread will consider a storage locker a luxury that you could well do without. That means the cost for it comes out of your monthly discretionary spending and nowhere else. Savings should not be impacted, it should not be counted as a bill and you shouldn't skimp of food just to have less clutter. The good news to that is that you'll learn (or should learn) to do without that extra little bit of discretionary spending so when you do move, you can keep your reduced discretionary amount and reallocate that locker rental fee towards the rent. It's isn't much necessarily, but it is money that won't need to be found elsewhere to pay for the new place.
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Sep 24, 2014 17:27
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Antifreeze Head posted:I can see how your lack of physical space is something of a concern, especially as you have a baby coming. We were looking at storage units a couple days ago, and they're not cheap. They're not the $400.00/mo that a house would cost either. Still, I think we'll stick to plan. Maybe once we're pretty far into saving that rental deposit, or we have a month's worth of discretionary saved up, we can consider a storage unit again. I don't know if anyone would be willing to store a whole room+ worth of stuff. We still have 10 months left on our lease. I'm going to post some pictures of our apartment when we get home. At least one person will find them entertaining, I'm sure.
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Sep 24, 2014 17:42
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Knyteguy posted:4) Budgeting not reconciling. Solution: Plan a line item, plan why that line carries the dollar amount that it does, and plan purchases around the line item, not the other way around. I get why I shouldn't put $700 in a line item, even if we spent that on eating out one month sometime or whatever. We are figuring out what are expenses are and budgeting around that, instead of budgeting first and then planning our expenses around that. Did I get that right? You need to spend some time just doing the boring stuff. Don't go extreme and try to save every single penny, just live your life on a reasonable budget. Go out to eat once in a while, set part of your savings aside for fun stuff (like trips to SF) and enjoy the fruits of your savings. To be cliche, this is a marathon, not a sprint. Stop seesawing between starving yourself and gorging and just have a boring, mostly healthy diet for a while. The more boring this thread is, the better. If after three months you have a budget you can reliably hit and still put aside a good amount of money for both long-term savings and shorter-term unexpected stuff, consider moving. You'll actually have some data to base your decision on by then, not just words.
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Sep 24, 2014 17:44
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