|
Knyteguy just now posted:Oh. I see why you were saying I'm willing to put it on her if I'm miserable. "Happy" that was a poor choice of word that I posted, and you quoted. I think... "irrespective of what I prefer", would have been a better choice of words. Like I said even in a lovely place I'm overall happy. We're not talking about living in a tin shack here. Knyteguy JUST TWO DAYS AGO posted:I just gotta say holy gently caress I had no idea how much our living situation has been stressing me out. We've lived in pretty awful places the majority of our marriage. I mean we've lived with roommates for close to 3 out of 5 years of our marriage, and that was just absolutely awful. The townhouse was nice and big (maybe too big), but since we knew we were moving out at the end of the lease we just never made it home again after my sister moved out, and it was still bad for animals since there wasn't a yard. This loving place we're in now with an air conditioner that has broken twice (we didn't bother calling a third time), no in-house laundry, no yard, no space, lovely neighbors, no privacy (it goes on)... I can deal with it for now but I think I would break if it meant living here past July. I know my wife feels the same way. Seriously, you are all over the map with what you want and need, and what your goals and plans are. Part of that might be from getting conflicting info here, but I think a large part of it is just you. You keep jumping from one shiny object to the next with no idea of what it is that would genuinely make you content.
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 21:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 23:50 |
|
|
April posted:Seriously, you are all over the map with what you want and need, and what your goals and plans are. Part of that might be from getting conflicting info here, but I think a large part of it is just you. You keep jumping from one shiny object to the next with no idea of what it is that would genuinely make you content. Let's add this to my happiness list: #1) Happy wife. The rest of the stuff still stands and is very important to me, and I still feel exactly the same on all of that stuff, but it comes secondary. I think that should clear up the inconsistency there. Wife currently replying (thank god it's too hard for me to guess what her feelings on all of this are).
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 21:54
|
|
|
OK I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've posted in our thread, even though I've been following it and discussing it with KG. Please let me know if anything I say is confusing. In regards to my staying home after the baby is working vs. going back to work: I would ideally prefer to stay home with the baby longer than the six weeks that my work is going to allow me, but it is truthfully hard to know before I've experienced it whether or not I will like being home full time. I think realistically with the hours my current job has there is going to be a lot more added stress on KG and myself when he has to be at home with the baby after work until roughly 11 p.m. I'm not sure how viable an option my current retail job is going to be once the baby is born, especially when they're only a 1 1/2 months old when I have to go back. My past experience with trying to get a job in an office or some other type of employment with regular 9-5 Mon- Fri hours has been very unsuccessful. This has me worried about being able to transition into one of these jobs after the baby is born. I'm also trying to take into account my not working vs. living in this place for the next 1-2 years with a baby and pets. The pets: I agree with my husband about not being able to get rid of the dogs. As far as the cats go, I have literally been trying to give one of them to family/friends for ~a year now with no takers. I think having no cats at least would take away from some of the stress in our lives but I won't take them to our Humane Society, so I'm not really sure how to go about re-homing them. The rental house: When we were talking on the way to work this morning, we realized that the apartment was another form of "crash dieting" for us. We got all extreme and moved into one of the cheapest apartments we could (with 2 bedrooms) instead of moving to a moderate priced place. I can see the points about why moving again would be a bad idea and I agree that we should make a reasonable budget that we can stick with for 3 months before making any further decisions. I also liked the idea of $500 in groceries and $250 in discretionary each so that every one can get a better idea of our spending habits. We will both be considering this over the next few days before changing the budget again, honestly I have a hard time keeping track with our budget lately when it changes so much. I know I didn't address everything here, and perhaps not very clearly/thoroughly. Hopefully I will be able to help shed some light on our thoughts and choices.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 22:04
|
|
|
Janus Owl posted:I won't take them to our Humane Society Why?
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 22:24
|
|
|
Honestly because that's where we adopted them from about 5 years ago and that place has so many cats that need homes that I think it would be wrong to take them back. Especially since they are far from kittens now, the chances of them getting adopted are low.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 22:31
|
|
|
Some people don't want to see their animal put down if it isn't adopted in the appropriate time frame.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 22:31
|
|
|
Kastivich posted:Some people don't want to see their animal put down if it isn't adopted in the appropriate time frame. It is a no kill animal shelter, however there are too many cats there and they don't get a lot of space to move around.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 22:38
|
|
|
I think your points are good for the month of october Mrs. Knyte. I'd recommend finalizing the budget and take it from there. If you can get through october, november and December on budget then revisit the thought of moving. I'd also recommend completely dropping it until then. No researching houses or prices or anything. Just focus on making the budget. Knyteguy posted:Let's add this to my happiness list: #1) Happy wife. As long as it's in the budget.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 22:50
|
|
|
OK, so here's what I think we're going to brew on for the next few days: 1) Our long-term goals. 2) The budget values. We'll truly look at what we need vs what we want, and how they fit into our long term goals. I'll do my best to account for the worst case scenario without reconciling instead of budgeting. Like my wife said the budget is nearly useless to us when we change everything so much, as it becomes confusing, and our goals get lost. 3) The cats. Can we get rid of them without giving them to a shelter? 4) The baby. Babe: I feel like you need to continue to give this more thought. 1.5 months after the baby is born is not the best time to do this. We need to come up with a plan here. We should have had a plan in place before you became pregnant, but you're already half way there. Hey Veskit, I know you're talking to my wife but I'll take that advice as well. Looking up house prices and neighborhoods, at least for me, makes it harder. Edit: I removed the rental consideration. Veskit, and April you're right. Wife you're right too. I'm trying to run before I can walk. vv thanks I will. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 22:59 on Sep 24, 2014 |
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 22:50
|
|
|
I really think The Simple Dollar might be a good blog for you to read Knyteguy. The author posts a lot articles that are relevant to your situation (he just posted one on buying decent quality clothes on the cheap). He has also posted articles on paying off debt, low or no cost activities for the whole family, how to transition to a one income budget. A lot of what he wants out of life seems to match what you have posted recently and he regularly talks about how he was living the one pay check away from disaster life to one now of financial independence. He also has a whole series of articles on working out what your goals really are and then how to align your finances to that.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 22:56
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:I thought if we had any extra discretionary at the end of a month then we lost it. I didn't understand it was a category that could be rolled over... until heck maybe a couple days ago. Even though you're not using YNAB, I think you would benefit by going over their four rules. I don't blame you for not seeing this, because it's actually difficult to find these pages on their site. Start here: http://www.youneedabudget.com/support/article/rule-one-give-every-dollar-a-job It's okay you're not using their software, because it's the thought process that matters here.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 23:00
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:OK, so here's what I think we're going to brew on for the next few days: This is wrong. There's no way to know how EITHER of you will feel until the baby is here. You should not put pressure on your pregnant wife to make this decision right now. What you should be doing is putting together a budget that doesn't include her income, and living on it, so that you are prepared for it if that's what she decides.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 23:03
|
|
|
April posted:This is wrong. There's no way to know how EITHER of you will feel until the baby is here. You should not put pressure on your pregnant wife to make this decision right now. What you should be doing is putting together a budget that doesn't include her income, and living on it, so that you are prepared for it if that's what she decides. I get the first point April on not pressuring a decision now, fine. The budget part? I think he should have a loose one with high savings and if even that much is challenging for him, I have a hard time believing he'll have a leg to stand on between him and the wife in considering moving into a more expensive place. Slashing the budget like that is crash budgeting to make a point he can learn without that amount of pain. He needs to learn the value of his dollars and how to get over the urges of spending to a category and having it accumulate as opposed to cleaning out everything all the time.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 23:07
|
|
|
Janus Owl posted:OK I'm pretty sure this is the first time I've posted in our thread, Second, but the first post was kind of just a "hey everybody". Welcome to the thread. quote:In regards to my staying home after the baby is working vs. going back to work: Ok, first you need to go here: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3390558 And post to ask any questions. They have a hivemind knowledge of everything from deals on baby stuff to what you can expect in the first few months. After that you can move on to the A/T parenting thread. That thread kept me sane during the first 12 months. I feel for you in the U.S. - 6 weeks is ridiculous. Insane. Inhumane (Canada - one year. Split time if you want both parents to share the load). After six weeks you'll feel like you've been run over by a truck. If you go to work, what will you do for feeding? Pump (lucky if you can get one for <$100) and freeze? Just go straight to formula (dump wallet/purse on conveyer belt at local grocery store)? Look at how hard it is to make decisions now - imagine trying to make them after 3 months where you do not sleep for more than 2-3 hours at a time. I was lucky that my boss let me sleep at work (patient examination rooms with a bed and no windows was a God send). My wife and I were wrecks. It varies from baby to baby (and we had twins so everything was harder at the beginning), but the fact that they have to eat every 2-3 hours is pretty constant across the board for the first three months. What I'm driving at is it doesn't really matter if it's a 9-5 job or shift work - time, in a sense, will become a homogonous soup of half-awakedness. I don't want to freak you out, but you really need to read the stories in that thread and get a real good idea what you are in for. Get family to bring meals you can heat up to help out, or you will use eating out as a crutch. And so on - there are so many aspects of your life that will change so fundamentally that you will forget what your life now is like. I'm not kidding - I have no idea what I did with all the free time I must have had pre-twins. Everything that is kind of annoying now will drive you absolutely mad. My wife and I went from barely fighting to drag-em-out scream matches (for the first couple of months - things calm down when you can get 5 uninterupted hours of sleep). Oh, and watch out for postpartum depression. That's a real mind gently caress. I think it affects 25% of new mothers. quote:The pets: Your call - they're your pets. I had two cats and I know it would be hard to give them up, especially knowing they probably wouldn't get re-adopted. But that said we have one cat now and it's like a $30 bag of cat food every 3-4 months and $8 in cat litter over the same time frame. And we have a decent sized house. quote:The rental house: Don't worry - you aren't the only one having a hard time keeping track.  But yes, take some time away from us and plan as best you can. I like April's idea of pretending you have no income, which isn't really a huge change because most of your income is going to HSA as it is.
Aagar fucked around with this message at 23:21 on Sep 24, 2014 |
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 23:19
|
|
|
Also, have you guys looked at ACA health coverage with just one income, and a baby? It will be cheaper than it is with just the two of you and two incomes.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 23:25
|
|
|
April posted:This is wrong. There's no way to know how EITHER of you will feel until the baby is here. You should not put pressure on your pregnant wife to make this decision right now. What you should be doing is putting together a budget that doesn't include her income, and living on it, so that you are prepared for it if that's what she decides. Plan for the (financially) worst case scenario of your wife staying home, and live on a budget pretending her income doesn't exist at all. When the baby comes and her maternity leave ends, think about how the past few months were, and be much more confident in your decision, either way.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 23:31
|
|
|
Knyte: Would it be possible for you to put out a 'baseline' budget that doesn't include any of the one time expenses like dog training or vacations? Perhaps it would be best if you can refocus on setting a budget that you can keep at least for a few months. If you settle on a baseline budget you can then work on tweaking things from there. The problem is you're doing all these fantasy budgets that just aren't realistic at this point. I think you need to figure out how to operate on a status quo budget without throwing in complications like moving or buying PS4s or whatever.
|
|
#
?
Sep 24, 2014 23:32
|
|
|
Veskit posted:I think your points are good for the month of october Mrs. Knyte. I'd recommend finalizing the budget and take it from there. If you can get through october, november and December on budget then revisit the thought of moving. I do agree with dropping it and not teasing ourselves with visuals of these houses until we know we can stick to the budget. Like my husband said, it is hard to resist the draw of moving when we're pricing the houses in the neighborhoods we like that have everything we want. Aagar posted:
Thank you, I will definitely read this and post any questions here. I have been reading a lot of articles and the such lately to try to get as much of a realistic understanding as I can about what parenthood is going to be like.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 01:20
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:4) The baby. Babe: I feel like you need to continue to give this more thought. 1.5 months after the baby is born is not the best time to do this. We need to come up with a plan here. We should have had a plan in place before you became pregnant, but you're already half way there. You're a real piece of work. You're pressuring your pregnant wife to do what you want (stay at home) and have been pretty clear that this is your preference since you dropped the bomb that you guys were going to have a baby. NOW, of course, it's ~*suuuuuuuper important*~ that your wife think carefully about this huge decision. NOW it's important that she pick up YOUR slack. Meanwhile you don't have to deal with swollen feet and a giant rear end and hormones loving up your disintegrating brain. Whoever said you are incredibly self-centered had you all figured out; this even shows up in the way you talk about your pets. Of course you HAVE to keep the dogs because you are "responsible" when the actual responsible thing to do would be to rehome at least one of them because two dogs, three cats, and two people--soon to be three!--in 800 square feet of crowded apartment is miserable for all involved. It was irresponsible to get the second dog in the first place. Let it go to a new home with people who could actually take it on walks and devote the time it needs to training. You know, like a responsible pet owner would. Jesus. I just love this: "we should have had a plan in place." No loving poo poo. That's basically the motto of this thread. "We should have had a plan in place!" You didn't loving plan for a baby. FOR. A. BABY. loving unreal. How are you not panicking right now? I can't believe how gentle people are being with you, especially after SloMo got it hard, and he wasn't loving up anyone's life but his own. Get your loving act together, Knyteguy. You have no clue what you're in for in four and a half months, and if you keep sailing along swaddled in your own ignorance and poor impulse control you are completely hosed.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 02:00
|
|
|
Quantum Finger posted:You're a real piece of work. You're pressuring your pregnant wife to do what you want (stay at home) and have been pretty clear that this is your preference since you dropped the bomb that you guys were going to have a baby. NOW, of course, it's ~*suuuuuuuper important*~ that your wife think carefully about this huge decision. NOW it's important that she pick up YOUR slack. Meanwhile you don't have to deal with swollen feet and a giant rear end and hormones loving up your disintegrating brain. Whoever said you are incredibly self-centered had you all figured out; this even shows up in the way you talk about your pets. Of course you HAVE to keep the dogs because you are "responsible" when the actual responsible thing to do would be to rehome at least one of them because two dogs, three cats, and two people--soon to be three!--in 800 square feet of crowded apartment is miserable for all involved. It was irresponsible to get the second dog in the first place. Let it go to a new home with people who could actually take it on walks and devote the time it needs to training. You know, like a responsible pet owner would. Uh my wife wants to stay at home with the baby, and I've been trying to help her do that while keeping us out of this shithole apartment. You act like I'm the only one that makes decisions in the household. You're framing it like my wife is literally incapable of helping the household to make good decisions, or to even play a part in the decision making process. And she and I just said in this very thread we're open to rehoming the cats. ~*Chiiiiiill out*~. Will get back to everyone else asap. Working late again.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 02:23
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Uh my wife wants to stay at home with the baby, and I've been trying to help her do that while keeping us out of this shithole apartment. You act like I'm the only one that makes decisions in the household. You're framing it like my wife is literally incapable of helping the household to make good decisions, or to even play a part in the decision making process. And she and I just said in this very thread we're open to rehoming the cats. ~*Chiiiiiill out*~. It's just Knyte being Knyte, only this time, instead of a purchase, it's a major life decision that has to happen RIGHT GODDAMN NOW.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 02:38
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Uh my wife wants to stay at home with the baby, and I've been trying to help her do that while keeping us out of this shithole apartment. You act like I'm the only one that makes decisions in the household. You're framing it like my wife is literally incapable of helping the household to make good decisions, or to even play a part in the decision making process. And she and I just said in this very thread we're open to rehoming the cats. ~*Chiiiiiill out*~. I'm holding out hope that only you are this cripplingly stupid. Rehome your hyper dog and your cats, my god, and don't decide anything until you know exactly what being at home with a newborn is like. Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 03:09 on Sep 25, 2014 |
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 02:41
|
|
|
If y'all are dead-set on keeping the pets, you can use them as a lowball estimate for budgeting your discretionary free time. Every day, you should ask yourself if you've each done the following: Spent at least an hour exercising each dog - if they're walked together they need an hour of joint walking plus 15 minutes separately playing with you or training. Spent half an hour interacting with each cat - if they enjoy cuddling or massage this can be paired with passive entertainment like Netflix or reading a book. In a best-case scenario this is just under 4 hours a day to provide a good standard of living for all your pets, and it makes your pets into a real 'hobby' rather than an accessory. This is pathetically small in comparison to the time spent caring for a baby. Only once you've seen to everyone do you get to go do your other distractions like going out to eat or video games. If you can't commit to that time aspect, you need to consider rehoming them by any means possible - if your Humane Society is anything like my local one, they will prioritize getting older cats out into foster if it's likely they'll be around for a long time. Your young dog would be easy to re-home - the longer you wait the harder it'll be. If it's too painful a choice to make now, reconsider it when your wife goes back to work after the baby. If you haven't had time to establish and maintain an exercise and training routine with the dog by then, it would be far kinder to let her find a more appropriate home. I say all of this as someone who has three dogs and a cat, so I know how much you bond with them. My border collie was given up by her previous owner because her life situation changed - she was working far longer hours and had to downsize to housing with pet limits. She adored the dog and giving her up was very painful, but I think I'd make the same choice if faced with a similar situation because it was in the dog's best interest.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 03:02
|
|
|
April posted:It's just Knyte being Knyte, only this time, instead of a purchase, it's a major life decision that has to happen RIGHT GODDAMN NOW. This is true. I acknowledge that I like results quickly. It makes me good at my job and at my business too. Applying it in my personal life doesn't work the same however, as is evidenced by this thread. Quantum Finger posted:I'm holding out hope that only you are this cripplingly stupid. So please explain to me (instead of calling me names) exactly what was stupid about what I wrote to you. Engineer Lenk posted:Pet stuff 2 of the cats are pretty antisocial and don't like much attention beyond being in the same room with us (also why it will be hard to adopt them out), 1 of the cats is ridiculous and cuddles with us every minute we're at home. She definitely gets the attention she needs. She's a black cat though, and they also have a hard time getting adopted because people are racist with cats apparently vOv Regarding the dogs, you bet and I agree. They usually spend about 4 hours a day out on the porch (it's a big porch) where they can go to the bathroom freely, wrestle, bark a little bit (but I stop them when if I feel like the neighbors will get annoyed), look at the people walking by, etc. For our big one that's generally enough. The little one still has puppy energy. We can exhaust her in the mountains on a 2 mile hike with other dogs to run with, and she's up and raring to go after a 30 minute nap. My wife and I were just talking about starting to ensure they get walked daily, too. We've dropped the ball on that.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 03:35
|
|
|
Quantum Finger posted:You're a real piece of work. You're pressuring your pregnant wife to do what you want (stay at home) and have been pretty clear that this is your preference since you dropped the bomb that you guys were going to have a baby. NOW, of course, it's ~*suuuuuuuper important*~ that your wife think carefully about this huge decision. NOW it's important that she pick up YOUR slack. Meanwhile you don't have to deal with swollen feet and a giant rear end and hormones loving up your disintegrating brain. Whoever said you are incredibly self-centered had you all figured out; this even shows up in the way you talk about your pets. Of course you HAVE to keep the dogs because you are "responsible" when the actual responsible thing to do would be to rehome at least one of them because two dogs, three cats, and two people--soon to be three!--in 800 square feet of crowded apartment is miserable for all involved. It was irresponsible to get the second dog in the first place. Let it go to a new home with people who could actually take it on walks and devote the time it needs to training. You know, like a responsible pet owner would. He doesn't only have poor impulse control for spending, but also for communicating. He just blurts out whatever is on his loving mind at that time without thinking of how much of an rear end it would make him seem. Knyteguy posted:Uh my wife wants to stay at home with the baby, and I've been trying to help her do that while keeping us out of this shithole apartment. You act like I'm the only one that makes decisions in the household. You're framing it like my wife is literally incapable of helping the household to make good decisions, or to even play a part in the decision making process. And she and I just said in this very thread we're open to rehoming the cats. ~*Chiiiiiill out*~. Man, you need to chill out. You keep making budgets over and over every single day, talking about what to do with your wife every day (probably dumping a ton of pressure on her by hyping up the situation), and while its good to be budget conscious, never coming to a concrete decision or following any kind of path towards a goal is completely counter productive and puts unneeded stress on everyone. This is what a budget is supposed to do: you decide on it once, then just follow the rules without over thinking things. You do this crazy poo poo of retweaking things constantly with these mental self justifying arguments so you get what you wanted in the first place, and trying to do this for 365 days a year is going to burn you out and you're going to fail. Then you're going to think budgeting failed because you spent tons of time reading, typing on the internet, making charts every day and you still have no money. But you're not budgeting. Showing charts and spreadsheets here earns you $0. Following your budget in daily life is the key. You seemed to have missed this somehow and its driving everyone here loving nuts.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 03:37
|
|
|
Veskit posted:The budget part? I think he should have a loose one with high savings and if even that much is challenging for him, I have a hard time believing he'll have a leg to stand on between him and the wife in considering moving into a more expensive place. Slashing the budget like that is crash budgeting to make a point he can learn without that amount of pain. He needs to learn the value of his dollars and how to get over the urges of spending to a category and having it accumulate as opposed to cleaning out everything all the time. Inverse Icarus posted:Plan for the (financially) worst case scenario of your wife staying home, and live on a budget pretending her income doesn't exist at all. Still not sure which way we want to go yet. Don't need to make a decision tonight. We'll plan a little here. April posted:Also, have you guys looked at ACA health coverage with just one income, and a baby? It will be cheaper than it is with just the two of you and two incomes. No, but thanks for the resource. I'm not familiar with them but if we could maybe pay $200 a month in insurance we could probably make it on one income. n8r posted:Knyte: Sure. If that will help make it more readable I'll do that. I'll "refactor" our budget. Hey by the way I've been wanting to bring this up for awhile: I'm not sure if you're into sport bikes or not, but I used to work for Lockhart Phillips as a jr developer. If you ride and you're ever interested in parts PM me; I could probably secure some sort of discount, or at least get you quote. Just going off your avatar here.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 03:41
|
|
|
I want it known that I am an actively involved member in this household and that KG doesn't just tell me we're going to do x,y and z. Every bad decision we've made, I've been right there and am not just along for the ride. Coming up with some sort of decision on what is going to happen with my job after the baby is born is something that we need to be trying to plan and figure the best we can now, in my opinion. This will be something that we decide together. I think we both realize that it is a decision that will be hard to make prior to my actually experiencing being home. It really is hard to plan when I have no idea how I'm going to handle being home full time until I'm actually there. That being said, I think we still need to figure out if it's financially feasible for me to stay home and then go from there in regards to whether or not it's something I want semi-long term at least.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 03:42
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:Regarding the dogs, you bet and I agree. They usually spend about 4 hours a day out on the porch (it's a big porch) where they can go to the bathroom freely, wrestle, bark a little bit (but I stop them when if I feel like the neighbors will get annoyed), look at the people walking by, etc. For our big one that's generally enough. The little one still has puppy energy. We can exhaust her in the mountains on a 2 mile hike with other dogs to run with, and she's up and raring to go after a 30 minute nap. My wife and I were just talking about starting to ensure they get walked daily, too. We've dropped the ball on that. Seriously? You don't even walk them daily? You think that spending four hours a day on a loving porch is good care? You know that's terrible, right? I mean, JFC dude, if you don't even walk them daily now, what do you think is going to happen when you have a newborn?
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 03:45
|
|
|
RheaConfused posted:Seriously? You don't even walk them daily? You think that spending four hours a day on a loving porch is good care? You know that's terrible, right? I just admitted that we need to take steps to fix this. And no I thought the porch would be great for them. We just read the SPCA website on exercise and apparently we need to do more. Uncle Jam posted:Man, you need to chill out. You keep making budgets over and over every single day, talking about what to do with your wife every day (probably dumping a ton of pressure on her by hyping up the situation), and while its good to be budget conscious, never coming to a concrete decision or following any kind of path towards a goal is completely counter productive and puts unneeded stress on everyone. This is what a budget is supposed to do: you decide on it once, then just follow the rules without over thinking things. You do this crazy poo poo of retweaking things constantly with these mental self justifying arguments so you get what you wanted in the first place, and trying to do this for 365 days a year is going to burn you out and you're going to fail. Then you're going to think budgeting failed because you spent tons of time reading, typing on the internet, making charts every day and you still have no money. But you're not budgeting. Showing charts and spreadsheets here earns you $0. Following your budget in daily life is the key. You seemed to have missed this somehow and its driving everyone here loving nuts. You guys are way too loving far up my rear end in our private life. This is the finance forum. Edit: nevermind you weren't being that much of a dick. Quantum Finger however, was. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 07:06 on Sep 25, 2014 |
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 03:53
|
|
|
I'm not trying to be mean here, personally. I was genuinely shocked. To me, your situation reads as a pretty classic "took on way more than I could possibly handle with no thought." You really need to think hard about your life after the baby is born. I know you are already but, it seems like maybe it's not sinking in... It's going to be a lot more heartbreaking to deal with the pet situation after the baby is born.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 04:04
|
|
|
Knyteguy posted:I just admitted that we need to take steps to fix this. And no I thought the porch would be great for them. We just read the SPCA website on exercise and apparently we need to do more. Yeah. You keep your dogs on the porch for four hours a day and think that's "great," and I'm the dick. "Apparently we need to do more." Wow. Please remember to exercise your baby, take it out to poop at least once a day, and take care not to overwater it.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 04:17
|
|
|
Quantum Finger posted:Yeah. You keep your dogs on the porch for four hours a day and think that's "great," and I'm the dick. To anyone who cares about the animals we're throwing the ball foe them now and getting them exercise. I feel like a dick but I guess I didn't realize their needs as much as I should have. We've committed to doing this daily for about an hour.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 04:23
|
|
|
People get super emotional about their pets. It's understandable. That said, you really need to stop and think about how most everyone in the thread is saying the exact things with regards to your animals. It's not because people enjoy being mean to you. You do realize that the house you are looking at for $1kish is almost certainly not going to rent to you with five animals, correct? I'm frankly amazed you got an apartment. Give the cats to the humane society. Give away the younger dog. Place ads on Craigslist. Post on FB that you are trying to give away the animals. This isn't an insurmountable problem that nobody has ever faced before. Give the remaining dog an appropriate amount of attention and exercise and he will not need a helper dog. Then go rent that house. And not in January, now. Don't wait to move until it's time for the baby, do it now. ASAP. If you're only out a deposit then it's a no brainer. The point of moving into a new house isn't to have more room for animals (that was an alarming thing to read) - it's to make more money. Its to make more money because you can work on businesses without your cats running around, it's to have motivation to make more money because your expenses just went up. I said long ago when you were talking about Sunday Ticket that you could have anything you wanted, so long as you hustled and made the money to pay for it apart from your regular income. You need to get into that mentality. The savings from getting rid of the animals nearly would pay the difference between a $1k house and your horrible apartment.
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 05:30
|
|
|
"Get rid of your family pets so you can have more money". I love me some BFC
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 05:34
|
|
|
slap me silly posted:"Get rid of your family pets so you can have more money". I love me some BFC I prefer "rehome your pets that you do not have space/time/money for because it is better for their physical and mental welfare"
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 05:41
|
|
|
slap me silly posted:"Get rid of your family pets so you can have more money". I love me some BFC Someday someone's going to do a cost benefit analysis of one cat vs a PS4
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 05:41
|
|
|
People are being a dick to you about the pets because it's just one more example of you leaping into something without proper preparation, trying to throw money at all your problems to make them go away. But every time you get called out on the poor planning and the spending as a solution, your immediate reaction is "well of course I know now that it was wrong, it was just this one time, get off my back guys". Can you honestly not see that this defensive dismissal is a pattern you've repeated over and over in this thread? When you want to do something, don't just take the first easy, pay-to-play path in front of you. Stop. Think about the problem and whether it's the real problem at hand or just a symptom. Look at your options--even better, research to make sure you know what your options are. Figure out what those choices will cost you in terms of money and other resources. Educate yourself and act on that knowledge. Fake edit: Not to necessarily disagree with imabanana, but regarding the side hustle the same advice applies. Are you sure that a private office is the single vital expense standing between you and a successful venture? Or is it just another "money makes problems disappear" excuse for why the business isn't doing well now?
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 05:41
|
|
|
slap me silly posted:"Get rid of your family pets so you can have more money". I love me some BFC
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 05:49
|
|
|
slap me silly posted:"Get rid of your family pets so you can have more money". I love me some BFC I read it more as "you are sacrificing your future child's well-being by keeping them, and while it's a tradeoff that sucks to live through, the answer is still clear".
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 06:12
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 11, 2024 23:50 |
|
|
That's not true either though. The single best thing they can do right now for the kid's long-term benefit is to really get a handle on their spending+saving behavior. Getting rid of the pets wouldn't help with that, it would just give them more money to gently caress up with - just look at their struggle with the huge extra $$ they already got by moving to a cheaper place. Knyteguy doesn't have a patent on not seeing the forest for the trees
|
|
#
?
Sep 25, 2014 06:37
|
|