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'Stringer' for Stringel. Don't overthink it. Do we know what caused the failure to meet potential for Taffarel and Petts?
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Sep 27, 2014 03:49
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Petts has actually met his potential- we've just improved so much since he joined us that his status as a solid international regular means he's only a 2.5 star player for the squad now. Taffarel, I'm guessing, merely ran out of time to develop. He'll probably still improve a bit over time, but it's unlikely he'll reach the five star peak that I once dreamed of coaching him to. He was stuck for too long in Argentina, playing with decent but not great coaching against decent but not great opposition and training in decent but not great facilities. It cost him, by the time he came to Europe he was largely a finished product. I've revised the last update to talk a bit more about what makes the players so good at their jobs and added bits on Aarts, Loseille, and Cirjak.
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Sep 27, 2014 04:04
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Prediction contest: 1- England 2- Argentina 3- Portugal 4- Uruguay 5- Mexico 6- France 7- Wales 8- Germany 9- Columbia 10- Spain Tiebreaker: 135 mil
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Sep 27, 2014 05:19
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Chapter the Fifth: Return of the Special One. December 5, 2024-January 1, 2025 We face a moderately difficult set of opponents this month, with only Sheffield United not inhabiting the top half of the table. Our New Years Eve match against City will be tough, and the trip to Chelsea three days before that could possibly cause us fits. Given my past relationship with Patrick Pattison and the fact that we're facing AU-Jose Mourinho I'll probably get into some verbal altercations as well. If we can get through unscathed we're going to be in great shape for the second half of the season. Meanwhile...  Uluru, Australia (TWO MEN in ragged, dusty clothes approach the PARK RANGER STATION)  : I told you they were vicious little bastards. : But they're so cute! Who'd have thought he could wreck a ute!: They couldn't have if you hadn't picked one up and put it behind the wheel so you could get a picture of it driving.: Don't chuck a wobbly, some of those shots we got were great.: Why are you even still carrying the fuzzball around? The rangers won't be that pleased to see it.: I couldn't just leave the little fellah at the wreck. Don't listen to him, Banjo.(BANJO chews eucalyptus placidly)  : ... This means that Parr is going to get crocked in about a month.  Selangor, Malaysia (ANDREA ALOISI addresses a considerably less ragged MUJKIC and BASTABLE)  : Che Palle! Let it be known that the only reason I did not bench you for not arriving at the stadium until a minute before the match began is because these pictures of Banjo driving that truck are so cute!: I told you he'd be a star, Rock. Didja hear that, Banjo?(BANJO continues to chew his eucalyptus placidly) : ...At Reading, December 9, 2024 Premier League  You don't get to face Arsenal until New Years Eve, AJ_Impy, and you lost 0-1 to Sky Shadowing back in September. But other than that you're doing alright, currently in 9th place and with a positive goal differential. For the moment. Your coach is sending the team out in a 4-4-1-1, it looks like another match where the opposition will be huddling behind their walls while the Dragons circle. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Mair, Petts, Reed, Aarts. Fans of both teams murmur in disappointment and glee from minute one as Reading hit the crossbar in the first minute and Parr scuffs a one on one in the second. Then it's delight for Wrexhamites when Sinan Ünsal puts us ahead with his first goal of the season; I've been trying to get him more involved with the offense by putting him in the role that I've been using Shirra in, and giving Shirra heavier defensive responsibilities. Parr proceeds to pick up a knock in the 7th minute, because of course he does, and the opening ten minutes come to an end with Reading catching us on the counter attack, ending Kovacevic's streak at 550 minutes. The rest of the first half is sans goals, after five clearcut chances we've got only one that counted. The second half starts with a bang, Ünsal scores again in under a minute. It's not enough, as our defense crumbles and allows an equalizer in the 55th minute. Ut's the first time all season we've allowed two goals. Shahed Parr grabs the lead of this volatile match five minutes later, he's played well given his injury and I reward him by subbing him off and moving Cirjak up the pitch. Reading's counter attack finds room to run time and again, but Kovacevic is not giving up a third goal. He makes two reflex saves on point blank shots in the final ten minutes, and we escape bloodied but victorious. Man of the Match: Sinan Ünsal   Reading 2-3 Wrexham  Having 300 players on my shortlist means I get these pleas pretty often. Most of the time the players would be fringe additions to our club, though.  I don't think so, I still need you.  Glad you understand, if you keep playing like you have recently you're going to get more time on the pitch.  Sydney, Australia (BASTABLE and MUJKIC are sitting in a bar post-match) : I'm gonna kill him.: Nah mate, come on.: He's stealing my goals!: Pearce is a right decent cobber. And who cares as long as we win, am I right?: …: ...(BANJO laps his beer placidly)  Huh, never seen that one before. He didn't rep any of our players, either. At Sheffield United, December 14, 2024 Premier League  Sheffield began the season in utter disarray, getting bounced from the Europa League before the group stage and losing their first seven league matches in a row. They've turned it around since mid October, though, and have only lost once since. We're about to hit a stretch where we play the fourth through seventh placed teams all in a row, so I'm going to try and rest some of our more important players. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Fitzgerald, Reed, Hammatt, O'Hanlon, Loseille, Mair, Bailey (c), Cirjak, Shirra, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Kovacevic, Quiboulaz, Laux, Petts, Allan, Parr, Thiago. Aarts picks up right where he left off, with a goal in the 25th minute. It's his fifth of the season and they've all come since the start of November. That's all we need as Sheffield have their midfield destroyer sent off just before the half. It's a stroll to victory, with Aarts grabbing a sixth goal along the way. For the final twenty minutes we play both Loseille and Cirjak on the wing, and they do an excellent impression of born wingers. With United off contesting the Club World Cup in South Korea, Wrexham reclaims the top of the table. Man of the Match: Bram Aarts   Sheff United 0-2 Wrexham  Maybe we'll be able to beat them if they change ownership...  I want a creampuff opponent. Steau or Anderlecht would be perfect. Even Ajax would be OK.  drat. At least we get to plan our revenge for last season's defeat. Ajax would be fine too.  I guess you never got over his intimations about leaving for greener pastures, huh, AJ_Impy?  Bangkok, Thailand (MUJKIC and BASTABLE are with BANJO at a small restaurant post match) : Well, can't win 'em all.: For once I'm happy that this stupid tournament has a stupid two legged final.: What say we blow off some steam tonight.: No way, mate. I've seen The Hangover 2 when I was knee high to a grasshopper. I don't want to be involved in a slapdash sequel made solely as a cash grab.: So what are you going to do instead?: Banjo here has become a bonafide internet star! I've been livecasting him eating dinner via AmazaTwitchRift. Have a gander, 2.3 million viewers!: ...(BANJO eats MUJKIC'S Pad Thai placidly) vs Stoke City, December 22, 2024 Premier League  Stoke, doing well especially considering they sold their star winger Kemal Selimovic to United this summer. They're only six points back of Champions League qualification. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Cirjak, Hammatt, Mair, Petts, Loseille, Aarts. Well, that was 90 minutes of futility. We just couldn't get anything through the Stoke lines. After 66 minutes I changed over to the 3-4-3, but it didn't make an iota of difference. I'm going to need to do something about our tactics, because this is the third time a team has bunkered down and gotten a draw by spending the whole game resolute against the crashing waves of our attacks.   Wrexham 0-0 Stoke  Ok, now Parr is free to get hurt again. (Please don't get hurt again).  I've ordered the team to stop trying to walk the ball into the back of the net quite so much. We've been creating an incredible number of chances, and scoring on way too few of them. Hopefully this will get our players to take more shots rather than trying to find the perfect tap-in. At the same time I've ordered our fullbacks to make overlapping runs in order to get them more involved in the attack and get our wingers to pull the defense out of position. Hopefully it reduces the effectiveness of teams trying to park the bus on us. vs Swansea, December 26, 2024 Premier League, Welsh Derby Gremlins ate the preview screenshot It's Foxy Boxing Day! Swansea has dropped from 7th to 10th in the last week, but still dream of beating us and laying claim to preeminence in Wales. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak (c), Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Loseille, Mair, Petts, Parr, Shirra, Taborda, Aarts. Subs: Fitzgerald, Taffarel, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Ünsal, Stringel, Thiago. Aarts just can't stop scoring, this time with a 4th minute goal when he gets on the end of a Cirjak ball. Swansea peg back right away, but Aarts makes it 2-1 courtesy a Parr cross. Before 30 minutes are up he also shows that he can score when the ball comes from the left side of the pitch, and Loseille gets an assist. We're still not in the clear, our defense has been poor and we allow a goal just before the first half whistle. After chastising the team for complacency, we come out much improved on defense, only allowing a single shot in the second half. We tack on two more, one from Mair and the other from a Shirra penalty kick after Taffarel draws a trip with four minutes left. There's only room for one team at the top of Wales, and Swansea aren't it. Man of the Match: Bram Aarts.   Wrexham 5-2 Swansea  Thiago's been lukewarm, not scoring in his last two matches and not having a multi-goal game in his last seven. So I'm going to ride the hot hand.   In real life Jose Mourinho, who is the template for Bruno Santos, is a brilliant and painfully irritating coach. There's no denying his chops, he's won a championship in nearly every major European League. And there's no denying that he gives great press, he loves trolling his opponents and is always quick with an insult. But his style of play also trolls his opponents, and he uses teams of superstars to play a grinding, defensive style where the life is sucked out of onlookers through their eyeballs. It's anathema to the type of soccer I enjoy, even if I admit that he's incredibly successful with it.  That's the Mourinho I know and love to hate.  A foreign tycoon, you say?  At Chelsea, December 28, 2024 Premier League  Bring it on, oh so Special One. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Shirra, Ünsal, Collett, Stringel, Taborda, Aarts (c). Subs: Fitzgerald, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Allan, Parr, Thiago. We're not having any success trying to push around Chelsea, but at least Taffarel takes out one of their players and avoids getting carded. A switch to an uptempo, less possession focused attack gives us more chances, but it's nil-nil at the half. Then Hammatt gets caught ball watching and Chelsea scores. String is able to get the equalizer with 20 minutes left, but Taffarel is taken out himself in what some people might suspect was a revenge tackle. Then, worse, The Special One gets the last laugh, as we give up a late goal, and go down to our second defeat of the year. We've been outplayed for the first time since the opening match of the season. Curse you   Chelsea 2-1 Wrexham I'm a bit chippy at the post game press conference, while I'm sure Santos was indulging in some gloating:   vs Manchester City, December 31, 2024 Premier League  We need a win. I'm not getting beaten twice in a row by an off brand-Mourinho and Patrick fricken Pattison. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Taborda, Thiago. Subs: Fitzgerald, Taffarel, O'Hanlon, Mair, Petts, Collett, Aarts. City must have tried to buy some assurance of a victory as they're the beneficiaries of a bullroar penalty call in the 3rd minute. We're right back at them, but Stringel can't convert an opportunity to equalize a minute later. A Taborda cross to Parr at the far post on the break does the trick, though. We've been great since the first five minutes, but it's still tied when we head to the lockers. One problem is that Stringel has come close at least four times today, but his efforts are going for naught. He keeps working, and finally gets his reward in the 59th minute. String follows that up by drawing a professional foul on a breakaway, and City's aging centerback Stewart Crowe is ushered off the field. Shirra converts from the spot, and it's a two goal lead with 15 to play. Man City are dejected and defeated, and I laugh in Pattison's face during the post game handshake. Man of the Match: Shahed Parr   Wrexham 3-1 Man City   : Ya done messed up now. Why should I make peace? I'm winning.  That's a dirty lie, you numpty knucklehead!  Melbourne, Australia (ANDREA ALOISI addresses the team after the trophy presentation) : Meraviglioso! You should be so proud! I am so proud! This is an even greater day than the one Livorno purchased co-ownership of me!: It's just a small regional championship, you goose.: More people watched Banjo being told by the vet he's got the Clap on this week's “A Billabong Home Companion” than watched this match. : All those koala sheila's were not happy with him, it was the biggest reality entertainment event since King Jay-Z exiled King Kanye and Queen Kim from New York.(The door flies open, and an OLD FAMILIAR FOE bursts into the locker room)  : YES! NOW IS THE TIME FOR MY RETURN TO POWER!: What, who are you?: I am the rightful coach of Australia, and I will be keeping all these players here to train full time for the next 18 months until the World Cup!: You can't do that! We have clubs to play for!: Who's going to stop me?(ELLIOT strides forward towards BASTABLE, but doesn't notice a WET SPOT on the floor where BANJO had micturated. ELLIOT slips and crashes to the ground, having knocked himself unconscious) : I told you it was a good idea to keep smuggling him through quarantine.: ...(BANJO naps placidly)  : Not bad for being full as a goog during the matches. : drat you, Pearce! Drawing with the team in fifth and losing away to the team in sixth isn't an awful set of results, but it's nothing to write home about. Hopefully United hit a bad run of form at some point, we could end up as much as five points back on them. Arsenal are also not going away, but we're just a point behind them and I don't consider them quite as much a threat to our league aspirations. 
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Sep 27, 2014 05:20
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 : Welcome to, Talk Is Dreamsicle! The pod of thunder and rock n roll! (Begins playing Wrexham is the Name with a cowbell). Today with me are two, very special guests, Meteor Mujkic and rising internet sensation Banjo! We'll talk about their travels, how the come up with ideas, production issues and stopping Wrexham nemesis Pete Elliot. But first, have you always wanted to be in two places at once? Well now you can with HoloBox.com! It's the hologram projector I use when I need to address my manager and [REDACTED]! And it can be yours with a special offer for only 39.95. CHECK IT OUT PEOPLE!
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Sep 27, 2014 17:28
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Chapter the Sixth: Bombardment. January 1, 2025-February 1, 2025 OK, we have some ground to make up. First is a trip to Burton in the FA Cup, where we need to keep ourselves from getting Chesterfield'd. Next we play host to Manchester United in the most important game of the season. If we win, we're neck and neck for the title. If we lose, they have a potential eight point lead with 18 fixtures left. After that things should be easier, with only five more games before the end of the month.  Just because it's New Years day doesn't mean I won't call you into the office and call you on the carpet for slacking off, here?   I'm glad we understand each other.   AU-Erik Lamela is the best player since AU-Messi. This year sees him become a four time Ballon d'Or winner, something that no real life player has ever accomplished. He's never going to catch AU-Messi, though, because the award was given to his doppleganger Joaquin Morales seven times in a row from 2013 through 2019.  Boooo. Now String knows how Shirra feels.  Mujkic tops Bastable for best AFC player. The award is going to shuttle between the two depending on year for the next half decade or so until they're both in their thirties.    I've mentioned my shortlists before. One of them is of every 3.5 star prospect my scouts know of and the other is of players above 24 who rate 2.5 stars or better for the first team. Along with giving me a one stop shopping list for new players, my personal assistant will remind me when they're eligible to sign on a pre-contract for free. They won't join us until their contracts expire at the end of June, but they don't cost us a penny in transfer fees. We've offered Mitchell Pickee a deal, and I'll probably make an offer for Ciganek. Bezruk and Lorenzo are both interesting, but Lorenzo wouldn't get a work permit and Bezruk's agent has a 20% stake in him and wants £1.5m for it.  I'm not accepting less than we could have gotten over the summer for Aarts. He's saved his spot on the squad with his recent barrage of goals, and having a top quality striker who can fill in when Thiago goes into one of his mini-slumps is huge for us. Our only other options up front would be Stringel or Parr, and while Stringel could certainly lead the line I feel he's better as a creative attacking midfielder.  Our transfer budget sits at a meager and sad £15,684, not enough to cover Pickee's Agent Fee. It was at nearly £2m just a month ago, so I'm not sure what the hell is going on. The board won't let me increase the amount of money in the transfer budget, either, as we only have £61k/week free in the wage budget at the moment. There's a sale going through that will solve the problem, but for the moment we'll have to delay this deal.  No one understands the brilliance of the WM!  I can't give Allan away. He's pleased that I've at least tried to get him a loan, so I doubt he'll get pissed if he's still here come February 1st.  Dortmund came to me with an offer, and seeing as Fitzgerald is on inflated wages (he was making as much as Kovacevic) and was grumping about not having a path to the starting 11, it was time to make some money off of his signing. He came to us on a free and left for an 8 figure sum, that's pretty solid work if I do say so myself. Lajos Kocsis has really impressed at the youth level, so he's becoming Kovacevic's backup.  Aww, I was only asking for another £12.5m and 20% of the next sale. What happened to you, Real Madrid? You're supposed to throw money around like you're still using the peseta.  Pickee will follow shortly. Only £3.5m of the £10m we got for Fitzgerald was put in our transfer budget due to our negative balance. That's more than enough to play with when it comes to small bore signings and luring youth prospects into our van. At Burton, January 4, 2025 FA Cup, Third Round  Burton are scraping the bottom of League One, a loss to them would be the biggest embarrassment of my tenure. Our youth team should be able to beat them. Enrique and Coleman are both going to be starting this match, they should enjoy this more than their debuts against Basel. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Laux, O'Hanlon, Loseille, Enrique, Bailey (c), Parr, Coleman, Petts, Aarts. Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Rickard, Mair, Allan, Taborda, Stringel. Keith Coleman has played in two matches for the senior team, and he's scored two goals. This one comes when Burton makes the mistake of trying to push up the field. Cirjak blocks a pass, Enrique gathers the ball and sends it upfield to Coleman, who gets it to Parr at the midfield line with a one touch pass. Parr takes a moment to look around, and spots Aarts far upfield and breaking for goal. The pass is accurate, but Aarts is forced outside by a defender. So he slides the ball towards the top of the box, where a charging Coleman picks it up and beats the keeper. We won't have to worry about failing to score this time around. The Brewers fans can start packing up after eighteen minutes, when Petts his second goal in three minutes from the left wing, a position he's shown some impressive skill at in his limited appearances there. It's 5-0 at halftime, with Petts getting his hat trick by converting from the penalty spot. We're a bit flaccid in the second half, giving Burton some chances through slack defending, but they are long past the point of recovery. Man of the Match: Richard Petts   Burton 0-5 Wrexham  Wigan Athletic and Nottingham Forest are both midtable Championship clubs, given the home advantage we should advance to the fifth round without much fuss.  Give me your tired, your poor, your aging second tier players yearning to get an international cap. He's not bad, I'll add him to the national pool and possibly give him a call up for a friendly.   Nothing to be done about the loan, we need to cover operating costs. £500K a month in repayments sucks, though. Now, can you get us another feeder team?  Thaaaaanks.  £80m or I'm hanging up the phone. Hello? Hello? You still there?  There we go. Sorry about the delay, Pickee. But you're going to go on loan when you arrive here anyways. vs Manchester United, January 11, 2025 Premier League  We desperately need to win this game to claw back the points we dropped from draws and the loss to Chelsea. If we lose and Man United win both of their games in hand we'll be eight points back. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Shirra, Ünsal, Collett, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Mair, Petts, Taborda, Aarts. The Red Devils know they're not in Old Trafford anymore when Taffarel scores 128 seconds into the match. Thirty minutes later Thiago sends a free kick off the crossbar, and Ünsal collects the rebound for an easy second effort. We keep control of the match until the final fifteen minutes, when Reed makes a dumb, dumb challenge and gets his second yellow card. United pepper the goal, but we're lucky to get a set piece goal from sub Bram Aarts to take the wind out of their sails. This is a huge win, and we've taken six points from back to back to back league matches against Chelsea, City, and United. Man of the Match: Sinan Ūnsal   Wrexham 3-0 Man United  Next time it's a fine, kid.  Sure, let's give it a go. The only area Loseille is lacking is mentally, and Shirra has by far the best appreciation of the game of any 24 year old worldwide.   Argh. That's just so, so French of you Loseille. Fine, see if I care.  Manchester City weathered their stormy first half, and have secured the loyalty of their remaining stars. They're in fourth place, and are back to buying new players.  Prochazka will never break our first team, so when Celtic offered £600k for him I accepted. Apparently they tried to lowball him. Their interest sparks other teams making offers, though, and the 17 year old suddenly has a bidding war for his services.  It's been five games without a goal, so he's naturally going to score a hat trick soon. He'll have to wait, though, because Aarts is on fire and I don't want to sit the Dutchman. vs Burnley, January 14, 2025 Premier League  Burnley are in last place. This isn't going to help them. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Taffarel, Mair, Petts, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Aarts. Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Shirra, Taborda, Thiago. It's freezing out. Below freezing, to be precise. -2 Celsius, or 27 degrees as the last bastion of Fahrenheit would call it. It's also snowing. That doesn't trip up String, who puts us in the lead after 12 minutes. It takes another eight minutes for Burnley to complete a single pass in our third of the pitch. We extend the lead to two after a halftime sermon on the sin of complacency, and ten minutes later Aarts picks up his eleventh goal in just over two months. Burnley gets a goal back when Hammatt misses a tackle during a breakaway, but I'm confident in seeing out the match and am rewarded by a slicing Meteor strike in the 60th minute. Then Burnley score again a minute later. Then Parr scores twice in the next ten minutes. There's been an offensive bonanza of six goals in the last 25 minutes, and I'm not liking the part where we've given up two and forced Kovacevic to make two more saves. Shahed Parr gets a chance for a hat trick on a penalty shout not long after, but his effort is saved. The fireworks display is well and truly over when Rodrigo Taborda gets a goal called back for offside. It leaves us up 5-2 on hapless Burnley. Man of the Match: Shahed Parr   Wrexham 5-2 Burnley  You, like me, might have thought that the name read “Sinan Ünsal.” Sadly, this Sinan is a seriously off brand version that I have little use for.  Eh, Reis isn't a prospect anymore and I'm likely to sell him next summer for a tiny bit of cash. Let him play wherever.  Newcastle United are valued at £98m but have debts of £130m. They basically have to stay up to avoid being put into administration, they're already £12m in the hole as of this point in the season and they can't look forward to nearly the end of season payout we'll get as they have no Champions League money and will get only 20-40% of what we do in television bonus cash. No wonder they didn't hand over the documents to Brain-in-a-Jar Rupert Murdoch.  Moffat is the guy that AJ_Impy just recently tossed out on his ear. The coaching carousel isn't quite as bad in England as, say, Italy, but it's still a very real thing. At Blackburn Rovers, January 18, 2025 Premier League  Blackburn haven't won a game since October. That bodes poorly for them. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Taffarel, Quiboulaz, Mair, Petts, Taborda, Aarts. Stringel scores 30 seconds into the match as an overlapping run by Loseille leaves Mujkic plenty of room to work with and an open passing lane to the young Mexican star. Blackburn catch us immediately, scoring two minutes later when Reed plays a terrible pass that's nowhere near Laux and the Rover's striker is able to pounce on it for an easy goal. A tumultuous opening 10 minutes comes to an end with Parr restoring our lead, heading home a Meteor corner kick. That marks the start of our orbital bombardment. Mujkic gets his third assist of the day on another corner, this time picking out Thiago at the near post. The striker's roundhouse kick volleys the corner into the net and is his first goal in five matches. He adds a near post header from another Meteor corner in the 33rd minute and we're up 4-1. Even after those two goals Blackburn declines to mark Thiago at the near post on corner kicks, giving him his hat trick and Mujkic his fifth assist of the day. Shirra finally breaks the Meteor monopoly on assists in springing Parr for his second goal, and this is well and truly a rout. Mujkic scores in the 56th minute from a shot all the way over by the corner flag, and it's 7-1 Wrexham. When the final third of the match is over Thiago's added a fourth goal, and nips the Man of the Match award from Meteor, who had a goal and five (!) assists. It's our biggest margin of victory since I've been with the club, surpassing a 6 goal romp over Stevenage all the way back in League One. Man of the Match: Thiago   Blackburn 1-7 Wrexham  Huh, and here I thought he had warned me that he would leave if we didn't win the Premier League after we missed out on the Champions League trophy last season.  I'll take the chance to re-up him, though. His contract was due to run out in 18 months and thus needed to be renegotiated by this summer. I'm happy to bring him back at what's a reasonable price for a top quality centerback.  Well, what good are you to me then? I'm unsure of why the board isn't letting me pick our feeder teams in the first place. I've been at the club ten years, and it usually unlocks after five or so. Perhaps it's based upon our ownership type, and the fact that no owner has been in charge more than four terms. I'll keep pestering the board about this until we finally get a Chinese or Brazilian affiliate.  While I like Kocsis as a prospect, I don't want him being forced between the pipes in multiple games, especially not against an EPL side. Kovacevic will hopefully be recovered for our Premier League tilt against Everton, but the rookie will have to take the helm for our FA Cup match.  I don't think we're going to do much else this window, unless someone bowls me over with an offer.  De Blasio was meh at Southampton, and Norwich declined to take him on loan when I couldn't find anywhere else to put him. He's rapidly approaching the end of his tenure with us, he just didn't develop as I hoped. vs Nottingham Forest, January 25, 2025 FA Cup, Fourth Round  You're doomed, Loxley. You and your merry men will bow to the might of the Prince of Wales! Just, pay no attention to the 19 year old in goal... Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kocsis, Reed, Laux, Hammatt, Taffarel, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Murphy, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Mair, Petts, Taborda, Aarts. Nottingham Forest are dilly-dallying over free kicks and throw-ins less than 15 minutes into the match, trying to slow the game down to a crawl in order to bleed time off the clock. It doesn't stop Thiago from scoring in the 18th minute, though, set up by an incredible pinpoint pass by Stringel. Now they've got a hole they need to dig out of and can't just sit back and defend all game. We get a second when Mujkic scores when left alone 10 yards from the net by a Nottingham defense that chose instead to collapse four men on String and Thiago, and after half an hour you can put this one in the books. Thiago adds another goal, after wandering in the desert for five matches he's now got six over the past two. Taborda finishes the day with a goal after having come on for a slightly singed Stringel, but we allow a late consolation goal thanks to our constant foe, complacency. Man of the Match: Shahed Parr   Wrexham 4-1 Nottm Forest  We have plenty of depth to cover for him, Callum Allan will finally get some playing time, but I don't like seeing our best prospects pick up even minor injuries.  The draw blesses us with another home game against a Championship side. I have to admit I hope we're getting Norwich.  Eh, now he can't complain that I didn't do everything possible to find him a loan.  Oh crap. The only healthy keeper we have at the moment is a piece of flotsam from our youth system. Kovacevic will be available in 1-3 days, and our match against Everton is in two. At Everton, January 28, 2025 Premier League  Kovacevic isn't all the way back, he might upchuck on the pitch a couple times, but even a sick Viddy K is better than 16 year old Dylan Murphy of Wrexham Gardens. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Collett, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Murphy, Cirjak, Hammatt, Mair, Petts, Taborda, Aarts. We give the jaundiced Kovacevic some breathing room right away, as Callum Allan scores in the first minute. Shirra provided the assist from waaaay out wide, just like a proper wandering Trequartista. Which would be great, but he's supposed to be lying deep in the midfield. Oh well. That's what happens when I put a player with “Gets Forward Whenever Possible” as a preferred move as holding midfielder. The team doesn't make it that easy, though, as Kovacevic has to heave his ailing body through the air to make several saves. We allowed Everton too much of the ball to make his life comfortable. But not to worry, Mujkic finds Thiago at the near post on a corner. This time the shot is blocked, and spins to a waiting Laux for a tap in. A goal from super-sub Taborda polishes off the Toffees. Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic.   Everton 0-3 Wrexham  That's too bad for Collett, but Parr has been brilliant this season and would have been starting regularly anyways. I'm just hoping Shahed stays healthy enough to keep crushing the hopes and dreams and children of our foes.  Why the hell is Argentina playing a World Cup Qualifier in February? Taffarel is sulking because he wasn't chosen to join Taborda.  Prochazka had his pick of clubs, settling on Bologna. We turned a 2000% profit on him. Well, 300% profit if you include the wages we've paid him over the last year and a half.  On the last day of the window Chelsea offered me £11m for Mair. I came back with a demand for £17m and they jumped at it. I'll miss Mair, he was the first diamond in the rough I ever found, but I just can't refuse that much money for a backup who isn't named Bailey. At least he and Chris Todd can reminisce about the good times.  That went swimmingly! It's looking like our tactical tweaks are working, there's no way to be disappointed with averaging 4.67 goals per game. Bolstered by a soft schedule we're in great shape, with only United able to catch us if they win both of their games in hand. The next month will be harder, with a trip to the Emirates against Arsenal and another to Madrid to begin the process of avenging our losses to Atletico in the CL semis last year. 
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Sep 27, 2014 |
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Sep 27, 2014 17:45
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Prediction contest entries close with the post of the next update, so post em if you got em.
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Sep 27, 2014 17:49
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habeasdorkus posted:You're doomed, Loxley. You and your merry men will bow to the might of the Prince of Wales! Just, pay no attention to the 19 year old in goal...  Loxley is in Sheffield. Probably.Anyway, I'm not a big follower of top-flight football, but it feels like there are way more goals in this premier league than the real one; is this just a quirk of our playing style or does the game lean towards more goals per match? I'm not complaining, of course.
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Sep 27, 2014 18:35
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Disproportionation posted:
Robert of Loxley, however...
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Sep 27, 2014 19:40
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1074 goals were scored in the EPL in 2024, for 2.82 goals per match. That's pretty much dead on with the last five years of the real life EPL, where it's varied between 2.77 and 2.81 goals per match. We just score a ton because we've got a great offense. In 2023-2024 we had 97 goals, which would tie us for fifth or sixth all time in the EPL. The thing that we're not seeing are all the 1-0 and 0-0 games played between clubs like West Brom and Newcastle that are averaging less than a goal per match.
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 20:11 on Sep 27, 2014 |
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Sep 27, 2014 20:00
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Do we still have the Chivas USA link? And how are Norwich doing on the table? I hope they're on track for promotion.
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Sep 28, 2014 00:35
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We do have the Chivas link, which is helping a lot with jersey sales. And Norwich are in the promotion hunt, but will probably have to go through the playoff if they want to come up.
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Sep 28, 2014 02:09
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Interlude: Unparking the bus. February 1, 2025 In the first half of the season we were held scoreless four times in the league, and each time was a deeply frustrating affair where we had the lions share of possession, allowed little by way of hope to the other team, and just couldn't break down the opposition. After the most recent 0-0 draw, against Stoke, I made some tweaks. The first was that I clicked off "Work the Ball Into the Box"- a command that tells the players to try to walk the ball into the back of the net. It's the opposite of "Shoot on Sight" and means that we passed up a lot of decent shots while trying to create great shots, and gave our foes time to recover and stop us. The second is that I turned on "Overlapping Runs"- which tells our fullbacks to get further upfield and go to the outside of our wingers. Because our fullbacks have pretty solid crossing attributes these days they're a real threat when sending balls in from outside, and that forces the opposing fullbacks to either go and deal with that threat or stay on our wingers, who will now find more room to cut inside. In essence, it increases our chances of an odd man rush where we outnumber the defenders, and because I've turned off "Work the Ball Into the Box" we'll do it at a slightly higher tempo. They seem to have worked. Last month we blitzed our opponents, scoring over four and a half goals a game. We even put three past Manchester United, who have one of the best defenses in the league. So here's a before and after, using our 8-1 drubbing of Blackburn and scoreless draw with Newcastle as the case studies. Blackburn Newcaslte  Heat Maps are handy for seeing where your players spend their time on the pitch, if you're trying to play with your defenders up by the midfield line and the heat map shows them pushed way back towards your own penalty area it's easy to see that things are going wrong. The numbered buttons are the players average position.. code:  Our average position is actually further up the pitch in the Newcastle match, but you can see that the formation has been scruntched together with Thiago (9) and Stringel (12) standing right on top of one another. We also aren't spreading the field quite as much as we are against Blackburn, which means that Newcastle has less ground to defend. code:  Nothing wrong with Kovacevic's work in either match, though his shading to the left hand side is an indication that what defensive mistakes we made were concentrated on that side. code:  You can see that while Reed is playing slightly higher up the pitch, actually inside the Newcastle half for most of the game, he's not playing as wide. By running out wider Reed forces the defenders to choose their poison. If they leave him be he can get the ball in their third of the field and send in a cross, or if they close him down it opens up room for the right winger to work in towards the middle of the pitch. code:  Collett (7) and Parr (15) are positioned similarly, but Parr is able to get into the box more often as a result of Reed pulling defenders out wide in his match. code:  Both Loseille (20) and Taffarel (3) excel at getting up the touchline into that very dangerous area in the corner. But Loseille is making more overlapping runs where he's on the outside of the Left Winger, allowing Mujkic to play closer to the goal. code:  Much like Parr, Mujkic is able to play closer to the net, and in his case as he's primarily a creator rather than a finisher, get to the byline to send in crosses. code:  There's very little difference in Matthias Laux's positioning in each game, but it's proof that we get a ridiculous number of corners that his heat map shows him up in the box for each game. code:  Same goes for Quiboulaz and Hammatt patrolling the left side. code:  Our holding midfielder, in the Blackburn match Shirra (10) and in the Newcastle match Ünsal (8), sees a change less because of tactics and more because of who has the job. Shirra has the “get forward whenever possible” preferred move, meaning he'll range higher up the pitch than Ünsal will when we're in possession. But as you can see by their average position he's not abandoning his defensive responsibilities, so I'm happy to let him range and create as well as recover possession in the midfield. code:  As you can see, Shirra's heatmap as a Box to Box midfielder is not that different than the one from his match as a Deep-Lying Playmaker, except that he sits very high up the pitch near Stringel's area. Ünsal, on the other hand, sits further back and plays only slightly in front of a DLP Shirra, allowing good horizontal movement as we break down a defense. code:  By far the biggest difference between the two games was the positioning of Stringel and Thiago. Stringel as a Trequartista has remit to roam wherever he finds room to cause damage, and in the first match you can see that he had to move significantly further to find space to work in. He also wasn't able to spend as much time in the opposition penalty area. code:  Stringel's positioning was impacted by Thiago's inability to get free in the box. Because defenders didn't need to worry about Collett or Mujkic cutting inside as much, and had less to worry about from Taffarel and Reed making runs up the sidelines, they were able to collapse upon Thiago and keep him from roaming the penalty area. That in turn forced Stringel back and wider, and meant that he had fewer opportunities to make the final pass to Thiago that would crack the defense or get close enough that he could take a high quality shot himself. One thing to remember is that five of our goals against Blackburn came either directly or indirectly off corner kicks. Even so, it's pretty clear that the changes have made us harder to defend against by stretching the field without damaging our ability to keep possession. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 21:13 on Sep 28, 2014 |
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Sep 28, 2014 21:07
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Chapter the Seventh: Objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. February 1, 2025-February 28, 2025 Our big matches this month are a trip to Arsenal in the league and a trip to Madrid for the Champions League knockout round. Except I feel like all of our matches are now big matches, because Manchester United will still be two points ahead of us if we each win all our matches. We can't afford a single misstep, and that's hard when your players aren't taking Leeds United seriously.  Who had £91m as your tiebreaker? I don't think anyone had a number under £100m. This, by the by, means that entries to the contest are now closed.  Mujkic has kicked it into a new gear, and I'm loving it.  Meanwhile, I'm running out of shelf space in my office for these. I have nine of them from the Premier League alone.  Ouch. That's not a small monthly expenditure.  I bring this up for one reason:  Iranians cannot inherit citizenship through their mothers if they're not born in Iran, so his dad must have been all about assimilating when he emigrated to the Netherlands. vs Liverpool, February 2, 2025 Premier League  It's amazing what a difference decent ownership can make for a club. Liverpool was a tire fire for the five years their prior owners took to crash them out of the top division for the first time since the 1960s. Two years under new ownership and they're right back up into the EPL and sitting comfortably midtable in their first season back. If their owners continue to impress in this way there might be a new rival for European qualification on the horizon. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed (c), Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Allan, Taborda, Thiago. Subs: Murphy, Cirjak, Laux, Bailey, Petts, Mujkic, Aarts. Liverpool start in a 4-4-1-1. Like most teams, they're going to look to score once or twice from counter attacks and set pieces, and it's imperative that we break through early to pull them out of their shell. They're doing exactly what they want to do, limiting us to three shots in the first 20 minutes, and our players are looking frustrated as attack after attack peters out against the 10 men Liverpool's stacked in their penalty area. That decides it, we need to play a more open, attacking style at the expense of some possession. The change in style works, but our first shot to find the back of the net is negated by Allan mistiming his run to the near post by a fraction of a second and being a step offside. Doesn't matter, a minute later Taborda deftly controls an Ünsal pass with his back to the net, turns and beats his marker, and scores with his left foot. Now we can go back to our preferred style and Liverpool must sally forth if they want a point. When they try to do so it opens up the floodgates, with Allan and Taborda both finding much more room in which to work and putting us up 3-0 before the break. We see out the second half confidently, and the players show little complacency as the clock ticks down. Taborda gets his hat trick, and the supporters go home happy. Man of the Match: El Compadrito.   Wrexham 4-0 Liverpool  This looked a lot worse on the pitch than it turned out to be. I thought he was going to be out weeks or months, not days.  Only Tounkara is looking like he's ready to make the leap to the senior team. Damgaard, Gabbianelli, and Ikeda have all been passable, but Kais Rouissi just doesn't seem to have the fire in his belly to harness his prodigious talent.  Almost all of our youth players are eligible to play for us without needing to be registered. That's nice, but not helpful now that we're in the knockout rounds and every game is life or death. At Arsenal, February 5, 2025 Premier League  Arsenal sit two points behind us on the table. They beat us in our house back in September. It's time to return the favor as we travel to North London. I'm going to go out on the attack, with the 3-4-3 modified slightly so that Allan is playing as a Shadow Striker behind the front line of Aarts and Thiago. Starting Formation: 3-4-3 Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Allan, Aarts, Thiago. Subs: Murphy, Cirjak, Taffarel, Bailey, Petts, Parr, De Blasio. Two chances quickly flash by in the first five minutes, with Thiago's effort being hoofed away at the last moment and Loseille's bouncing back off the woodwork. Arsenal are flummoxed by our style and formation, after fifteen minutes we look like the team that's playing at home, not them. All of our chances go begging, however, and the final ten minutes of the half see them shaking off their surprise and beginning to assert control over the match. When we come out in the second half, we once again befuddle Arsenal, as our formation stays the same but we're suddenly dropping back to defend and launching lightning quick counter attacks down the flanks. Once again we get all of the chances, and this time we finally get a goal in the 66th minute from a rebound that falls to the boot of Thiago after Allan is denied on a point blank effort by the opposing keeper. Once again, though, Arsenal put themselves back together and press us throughout the final minutes. This time, they also get a goal, three minutes from the death, and we're denied our victory. Once again, we take a single measly point from a match against Arsenal that we largely dominated.   Arsenal 1-1 Wrexham vs Tottenham Hotspur, February 8, 2025 Premier League  Spurs are in 10th place, but have the 6th worst goal differential in the league. I want the team to bounce back quickly from the Arsenal draw, and are sending the boys out with orders to go for an early goal. We've only ever lost to Tottenham once, which is a bit surprising considering their reputation. Spurs are starting a 16 year old at right left back with 7 marking, 10 tackling, and 10 positioning, due to an injury crisis. Shahed Parr and Steve Reed are going to have a field day running at that poor kid. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Taffarel, Bailey, Shirra, Parr, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Murphy, Loseille, Hammatt, O'Hanlon, Petts, Taborda, Aarts. We get a corner in the third minute and Thiago beats the Spurs player marking the far post to the ball for a very quick lead. It's exactly what I wanted. Thiago and Mujkic quickly put the game out of reach with goals in the 12th and 14th minutes, respectively, though Thiago got away with being a step offside. Both were set up by Allan, who's making the most of Stringel's absence to prove himself. Tottenham never had a chance. Man of the Match: Thiago.   Wrexham 4-0 Tottenham  He's two goals behind Tottenham's Timothe Le Bris for the league lead.  Have a look at the relegation battle royale taking place. Three points separate 11th place Swansea and last place Burnsley. Any of those teams (and 10th placed Tottenham, who are only six points clear of the relegation zone) could go down.  Finally a tutelage link pays off. String now lists Meteor as “favored personnel” while Meteor has a similarly improved relationship with the flamboyant young Mexican.  Dylan Murphy returns to the youth team, (hopefully) never to be heard from again.   No huge changes, but plenty of shuffling. I have bad news for those who predicted no changes, every one of you but the one who picked the smallest tiebreaker is already eliminated. vs Middlesborough, February 15, 2025 FA Cup, Fifth Round  Our feeder team won't be joining us, they couldn't get by the boys from Middlesborough in their fourth round replay. Too bad, I'd be curious to see what the Norwich team looked like without three of their regular attackers. With a trip to Madrid in the offing I've got to play a weaker than usual team, but that shouldn't bite us in the rear end as I spent the entire pre-match press conference making comments to my players about how they can't expect to win by just showing up. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Petts, Taborda, Allan, Mujkic (c), Aarts. Subs: Kocsis, Taffarel, Quiboulaz, Hammett, Shirra, Parr, De Blasio. Taborda takes a second too long to find Mujkic breaking for the net, the goal is waved off in the second minute. They switch places 15 minutes later with Mujkic earning an assist for placing the ball on Taborda's forehead from a free kick. Aarts has a goal called back for offside as well, so at the half we're only up by one. We have a third goal disallowed when O'Hanlon is way offsides when Mujkic takes a free kick, I have no clue what he was thinking. Our fifth goal, from Taborda to Meteor, does count, and I can finally stop seeing visions of a squandered victory dance before my eyes. It turns out we needed the two goals, Middlesborough scores in stoppage time because our players were flat out lazy. I berate them for their performance in the final twenty minutes, and it seems to get their attention. Man of the Match: Rodrigo Taborda   Wrexham 2-1 Middlesborough  Fresh out of the trainers room, he's got a request:  : Someone find my checkbook. : Who has a checkbook these days? Just use your MultiPass.: My what?: Moooul. Teee. Passss.: Oh, right. So how much do you want? £60K a week? £70k?  This is a joke, right? Let me get back to you. I'll call you, don't you call me.  This has not been a good day. First Stringel wants to triple his wages, and now I find out that we have to go to Manchester for our next FA Cup match.  This proves At Atletico Madrid, February 18, 2025 Champions League, Knockout Round Away Leg  Since it was such a surprise to Arsenal that we came out in the 3-4-3, perhaps we can surprise Madrid in the same manner. A little more finishing against Arsenal and we'd have walked away with a clear victory. Starting Formation: 3-4-3 Attack. Starting 11: Kovacevic, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Laux, Reed, Taffarel, Ünsal, Shirra, Aarts (c), Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Taborda, Bailey, Allan, Mujkic, Parr. Atletico are unimpressed with our tactical shenanigans, and immediately make us pay for our presumption. The ref is not a fan of our English roughhousing style, and I have to both call off the press and yell at the defense to stop diving into their tackles to avoid yellow cards. We staunch the bleeding and even create some shots of our own, but with half an hour remaining it's clear that if we want to salvage a draw we need to go to the 4-2-3-1. Off go Hammatt and Aarts, on come Mujkic and Parr. It doesn't help, and with five minute left I'm pulling a punchless Thiago and moving Stringel up top in a last effort to manage an away goal. We earn opportunities to get our equalizer at the very end of the match, but our shots are harmless and we're going to need to win in Wrexham or go down to Atletico for the second season in a row.   Atletico 1-0 Wrexham  Oh my. Man City are in a fight with Chelsea for the final Champions League berth, and it looks like Pattison's job is riding on winning it.  Not only is the U-20 CONCACAF championship being held this year, but we have the Gold Cup in July and the Confederations Cup in June. This also means we won't be playing Scotland and Wales, as those friendlies will be nixed for the Confederations Cup.   You really shouldn't admit things like that. But you do have Leeds outside six points up on the relegation shuffle at the moment, which is way better than you managed with Southampton. Maybe you're learning. At Leeds United, February 22, 2025 Premier League  C'mon Tosh.2. You're no Amy Schumer, much less Key and Peele. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Taffarel, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Petts, Taborda, Stringel, Aarts. Leeds' keeper giftwraps a goal for Thiago in the ninth minute, tossing it to him as if he expected Thiago to pass it back. Instead, Thiago's eyes went as wide as saucers and he launched it straight past the keeper and into the back of the net. He doesn't have to work much harder for his next goal, after receiving a ball that Mujkic had muscled off of a Leeds midfielder. I'm pleased as punch until I watch our defense proceed to miss three easy interceptions in giving up a goal going the other way. No worries, though, because the mono-monikered Brazilian earns his hat trick by the time 20 minutes have elapsed. Allan makes it 4-1, but a mistake by Matthias Laux allows Leeds to keep it within two. Laux continues to poo poo the bed in the second half, getting sent off five minutes before the hour for his second yellow card. We have no problem seeing out the win, but our second half performance was not so impressive and we really should have won 7-0. Man of the Match: Thiago   Leeds 2-4 Wrexham    Kid, you played like warmed over poo poo and then got sent off. Tell me I'm wrong to my face.  I didn't think you could.  With that hat trick he's up to 17 league goals, and tops among all EPL snipers.   I mentioned this was coming.  That's a downy soft group. Mexico and England are advancing to the quarterfinals. Also, this means that New Zealand must have lost to Tahiti, which... geez Kiwis, how'd you even manage that? Forget to attend the game because you were enjoying the beach too much?  That's possibly an even softer group, like one of those pillows that your head sinks so far into you're staring up at a narrow canyon to your ceiling. We're definitely getting to the Quarterfinals, where we'll probably face Mexico or England. Meanwhile, Canada must be thanking it's lucky stars. CONCACAF only gets one entrant, which is invariably the United States or Mexico. But because we're hosting and automatically qualify and Mexico won the most recent World Cup and automatically qualify, the spot goes to Canada. At Newcastle, February 26, 2025 Premier League  Newcastle are one of four Premier League clubs that we have a losing record against in my tenure, and the other three are the Manchesters and Chelsea. Our record against them is four wins, two draws, and five losses in eleven matches since 2017. Can we finally beat them for the first time in two goddamned years? If I were a betting man I'd say no, because they're in last place and Fate fancies itself a comedian. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Allan, Taborda, Aarts. Stringel gives us the early lead in the 12th minute, arriving just in time to put a Mujkic cross beyond the startled goalie. He gets a second when Thiago pulls his patented “lurk five yards from the keeper holding the ball and wait for them to stupidly put it on the ground” move, which results in the Leeds keeper losing possession and Stringel coming upon the ball so close to the goal a six year old could finish the job. The two year fever dream that kept Wrexham in the thrall of Newcastle is banished two minutes later, when Thiago bombs towards the near post on a Mujkic corner to make it three-nil. Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Newcastle 0-3 Wrexham  We beat them so bad they fired their manager.  You tell one wonderkid you'll give him a new contract and it's yap yap yap.  I don't make the same mistake with Loseille that I did with Stringel. He has three years left on his contract, whereas Stringel had two. That gives him less to grump about until the point sometime a year and a half from now that I give him an extension.   Because our Gold Cup team will be meeting up for training at the same time as our Confederations team is playing, the USMNT will be sending a B squad to the Gold Cup. Luckily, Mexico has to do the same, so we won't be wildly outmatched when we play them. And I don't even want to know what a Canadian B team looks like. It might just be eleven guys they find on the streets of Vancouver.  Those two points we dropped at the Emirates might decide the title. Manchester United just won't lose. They embarrassed City 4-0 in their last match, and they'll be four points up on us if they win their games in hand. And we're facing a win or go home situation against Atletico. I want to avoid going out to them for a second season in a row like the Pennsylvania Dutch want to avoid electric appliances. And lastly we have to go into the heart of the beast for our next FA Cup match, one of the few places in the world where I don't think we're favorites to win. So, excitement and existential terror await! 
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 13:28 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 28, 2014 22:56
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From: Dreamsicle, Wrexham Fan Trust President To: Sky Shadowing, Southampton Owner, Leader of the Order of Wrexham Fan Trust Presidents CC: AJ_Impy, Reading Owner, Member of the Order of Wrexham Fan Trust Presidents Subject: Operation Deviltamer Gentlemen, as you know Manchester United is causing big problems for Wrexham. Thanks to their continued success, we have had to divert some of our focus from Champions League games which has cost us. Right now we need a plan to take out United financially so their players will go. I will need some suggestions to enact that plan. Right now my plans are getting this guy to become the new owner and general scams. Hopefully we shall destroy another megabastard. To Victory, Dreamsicle
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Sep 29, 2014 00:36
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Chapter the Eighth: Wild oats. March 1, 2025-April 1, 2025 It's about this time of year that things always seem to fall apart. I'd like to be able to keep us in the running for the treble until at least the penultimate chapter of the season for once, but that's going to take some doing. We could easily be out of the FA Cup and the Champions League in a fortnight, and be on the brink of elimination in the Premier League.  Hmm, I think I've set too burdensome a training regimen by never giving any rest days. For the rest of the season the day after a match will be an off day.  What does Thiago have to do to get some respect? He scored 7 league goals in February.  Stop winning! vs West Bromwich Albion, March 1, 2025 Premier League  We've got a week before two of the biggest matches of the year. That means this is a classic “trap” game, where we overlook our opponent and end up humiliated. The players say they understand that, but you can never be sure. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, Hammatt, Laux, Taffarel, Bailey (c), Allan, Collett, Stringel, Taborda, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, O'Hanlon, Shirra, Petts, Parr, De Blasio. The first half is a frustrating affair due to the bus that West Brom parked in front of their net. With five minutes to go String is able to beat literally five men in the box to a Taborda pass and crack open what had previously been a brick wall. We remain composed throughout the second half, and finally get a second goal when the 5'9” String puts some serious English on a header to spin it into the corner of the net in the 84th minute. That's not enough for Thiago, who piles on with another three minutes later. West Brom denies us a clean sheet in stoppage time, but we still win by three goals on the final play of the game via Ed Hammatt's first of the season. Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Wrexham 4-1 West Brom  There's a whole host of very promising new players who came into the American academies last December. It would take a huge stroke of luck for us to win the 2026 World Cup, but 2030 is looking better and better.  I negotiated him down under £100k/wk. I could have refused him a new contract but I don't want to create a distraction right as we enter the home stretch.  Heh, AU-Pep Guardiola knocked Arsenal out.  Of course they won. They always win. United beat Swansea on a goal in stoppage time of extra time, the 121st minute. They avoided the lottery of penalty kicks, and I'm increasingly convinced that God has sent these Red Devils to torment me.  I don't think we can expect to treat them like we treat most other teams when we visit their stadium. At Manchester United, March 8, 2025 FA Cup, Sixth Round  If you offered me a draw that gets us a replay at the Racecourse Grounds before the kickoff, I'd take it without hesitation. If we'd been matched up against United on neutral ground, I'd like our chances. But here? We're doomed. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Taffarel, Ünsal, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Petts, Allan, Taborda, Aarts. A Thiago goal at the starting gun is revoked by the waving flag of the side judge. He misses his next chance, and United take the lead in the 16th minute when Gregorio gets loose in front of our net. In the 20th minute Parr makes a vital sliding tackle near the top of our box after an indirect free kick for United, and Thiago picks it up 80 meters from the United goal with no one except the keeper between him and the net. He's off to the races, and can't be caught, his shot hurtling past the United keeper and into the top right corner of the net. United come out of the lockers like a swarm of hornets were chasing them. It doesn't take them long to recover the lead. They score twice more before the match ends, and we're out of the FA Cup before the semifinal. It's our worst performance in at least a year, if not several years, and I'm not surprised in the least by it.   Man United 4-1 Wrexham  I'm going to cheer myself up after our annihilation at Old Trafford by buying a whole bunch of youth prospects.  Speaking of prospects, the United States is producing a surfeit of attacking midfielders. I really wish some of them would learn to play other positions, actually, as we have too many for me to accommodate on the squad.  Err, yes. I'm aware of that. vs Atletico Madrid, March 12, 2025 Champions League, Knockout Round Home Leg  We didn't score in Madrid, so we need to win by two goals. If we're up 1-0 after 90 minutes we'll go to extra time, and if extra time doesn't decide things we'll go to penalty kicks. Don't let me down, men. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Petts, Allan, Parr, Aarts. We're having trouble keeping possession on our home turf, and Atletico get a goal in the 21st minute to push our Champions League campaign to the brink. Scott Shirra hangs his head, it was his mistake that lead to the goal. Thiago gets us back to level five minutes later, but we still need two more if we're going to advance. That drops to one more late in the first half as an enraged Thiago screams in exhortation at the rest of the team after putting away his second goal, which a brilliant Stringel pass set up.  My halftime talk is the stuff of legends. I approach each player, one by one, speaking softly to them. I'm by turn cajoling, confidence-building, and comforting. If this doesn't inspire us to victory, nothing will. The players sprint back onto the pitch, and the hunt is on. We come close time and again, with Thiago hitting the woodwork with a drive from miles away and Taborda forcing a sprawling save on a viciously swerving volley. Then, as we enter the final third of the match, El Compadrito comes through. He beats his man to the outside on a Thiago free kick, and redirects it while it's in the air just inside the near post. We're 25 minutes from victory. Five minutes later Taborda's effort from the near post on a counter attack deflects back to Mujkic, and Meteor gives us a vital two goal lead. Our dominance in the second half is the doom of Madrid, and we leave the field with the crowd still roaring it's approval. Man of the Match: Thiago   Wrexham (4) 4-1 (2) Atletico   I told you it was a hell of a speech. Any time you get more than a couple “motivated and inspired” responses at halftime, you've hit the right notes. Virtually everyone who looked fired up also looked motivated. Atletico didn't stand a chance.  The Racecourse Ground (ALOISI is waiting by the players exit when MUJKIC leaves the stadium) : Brilliant! Magical! Superb! You are truly “il giocatore.”: Thanks heaps! Coach gave us a bonzer speech, really turned things around. But what brings you all the way to Wrexham? You're not going to kidnap me, yeh?: What? No! I just thought there was someone you'd want to see.: BANJO!: ...(BANJO feasts upon the hopes and dreams of Atletico supporters placidly)  There are no easy draws in the Champions League quarterfinals. Chelsea, United, Sevilla, Barcelona, Bayern, and Dortmund would all be just as much a challenge.  Our youth system actually turned out three star (Gary Lewis), four star (Joe Patel) and four and a half star (the wonderfully named Kristian Bale) prospects this year, as well as a bunch of two star recruits. Not shabby at all, and by a mile the best year we've ever had.  Bale's name made me wonder if we'd recruited the son of all time Welsh great Gareth Bale. Obviously he isn't, I had forgotten that in this universe Gareth Bale is named Shaun Davies. But in looking I discovered something else... The Racecourse Ground (The COACH's office, COACH, PAUL WILLIAMS, SCOTT SHIRRA, THIAGO, and ISAAC STRINGEL are playing cards)  : Hijo de puta. Fold. : What, you don't want to lose any more of that big new contract you just signed?: The cards, they don't like me tonight.(There's a knock on the door, and one of the IGNORED YOUTH PLAYERS enter) : What are you doing here...(COACH is obviously grasping for the teen's name) : Will, Coach. Will Brown.: Was on the tip of my tongue. What are you doing here, Will. : Well, sir...(WILL looks clearly uncomfortable) : Spit it out, son.: Dad?! You know who I am?!: Wait, what? (EVERYONE breaks out talking over one another)  : Shite!: ¡Dios mío!: Nossa!: What the hell is going on?!: You've been ignoring me all year?!(PAUL WILLIAMS bangs the table to get their attention) : This is my fault, Coach.: Please explain, and quickly. I'm feeling a bit faint.: Your son here graduated from our youth academy a year ago. I kept on trying to tell you, but with being assistant manager for the US and Wrexham squads I never found the time and when I had a moment I forgot about it. You know what it's like with most of the crap our academy produces, we only remember them when we need to try and screw over PSG or have an injury crisis.: Hey!: So, he's really my son?: Had the DNA test done myself.: Ok, everyone out. Except you... son. We have some catching up to do. And, Williams, we need to have a long talk. About this, and about the secret DNA testing thing. The fruit of my loins is not very good at playing soccer, which I guess proves that he's my son. It's going to require a large helping of nepotism to keep you on the club, buddy bear.  If I'd known I'd had a 17 year old son, I'd have put him on the goddamned U20 team! Instead it's just Coleman who's heading off to rep the stars and stripes. vs West Ham United, March 15, 2025 Premier League  Hey, it's not a game where our whole season hangs on the brink of the outcome! Perfect for the days when you find out you have a seventeen year old kid. Except it is important, because we cannot afford to drop more points if we want to win the league. United are atop the table by a point at the moment, and they still have a game in hand. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Shirra, Allan, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Petts, Ünsal, Parr, Aarts. I'm not worried after our first barrage leaves West Ham unscathed. Patience proves a virtue, and Stringel cracks West Ham's shell in the 30th minute, and dives in for more two minutes later. Kovacevic makes a rare mistake that results in a fluke goal just before halftime. It's no problem, right after the half Stringel nutmegs two Hammer defenders with the same pass and Thiago is left free and clear to score our third goal. String winds up the match with his hat trick, the kid has been on fire since the moment his agent and I agreed to the terms of his new contract. Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Wrexham 4-1 West Ham  I pulled Quiboulaz at the half because of his injury, and it's not a mere scratch. An international break is coming up, if he heals quickly he'll only miss one or two matches.  That explains why he's so eager to find the net recently.  Should I be worried that I'm becoming more of a jerk to other managers as time goes on? I was mainly talking up West Ham to keep my players on their toes, only claiming it was mind games after the fact.  : Wait, you grew up in Wrexham? I didn't know anyone from Wales back when I must have met your mother.: Mum was English. She said you met in Beijing during the summer of 2007.: Oh... Uhm. Can you tell me more identifying details and narrow it down a bit more?: You don't remember her?: That whole summer was kind of a blur, to be honest. First piece of fatherly advice, stay away from baijiu. I'm his national team coach, and I can promise you he's going to be a star. Give him a work permit.  Scott Dolinsky is a dual national English/American at Nottingham Forest. He refused my callups for three goddamned years before finally accepting that he was never going to play for the Three Lions. Don't worry, dude, you'll get to show them what's what at the Confederations Cup. At Watford, March 22, 2025 Premier League  United just demolished Watford 4-1 four days ago. I think we can do them one better than that. Four of our players have already departed for their international squads, including Mujkic and Stringel, so we'll be short a little bit of our usual firepower. Dylan Murphy also makes a reappearance from the hinterlands of the youth squad. Kocsis is away playing an U20 international match, as are the other two youth keepers. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed (c), Hammatt, Laux, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Parr, Allan, Taborda, Thiago. Subs: Murphy, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Bailey, Petts, Collett, Aarts. A Thiago header from 10 yards out rattles around the six yard box long enough for Thiago himself to put it in the net for a goal. He makes it two when Kovacevic is forced to come out of the box to boom the ball downfield and away from the oncoming Watford striker, it travels so far down the pitch that when Thiago reaches it there's no one left between him and the keeper. Mark it an assist for Vid. Parr adds a third in the second half, and I'm left wondering if a 4-1 victory is more or less dominant than a 3-0 victory. Man of the Match: Thiago   Watford 0-3 Wrexham  How dare you, you inbred imperialists! I am not pleased. Not pleased at all. Not pleased to the point where I'll probably bring Moctezuma to the Confederations Cup in an attempt to improve his chances of having his work permit approved. That'll show you!  At least I got one of my youth targets. Zouaghi is a 4.5 star prospect, and a defensive midfielder. He's already got a gold star rating at the age of 15, and could be the holding midfielder of my dreams in five years.  Make sure you get them to show you all of the financial accounts.  We were awful. Simply awful. The only bright point was The Other Sinan looking like he could be a useful addition.  You were terrible in the first half. I wouldn't be talking right now if you want a shot at going to the Confederations Cup.  Though he does have a point that the players remain “buoyant” because we were underdogs against Chile. USMNT   Other than my concern that our lackluster showing against Chile means we're going to fall flat on our faces at the Confederations Cup and Gold Cup this summer, things are looking good. We should be favored to win the U20 CONCACAF title again, as well. Wrexham  We're on pace to break the record for most goals in a premier league season. The record is 103, by Chelsea in 2009-2010. That's an impressive offense. It's nothing compared to United, who already have 103 goals with eight games left to play. That's a 130 goal pace. Their +80 goal differential is a new Premier League record, and they've only lost three games going all the way back to the start of preseason friendlies. We've dealt them two of those losses, and they returned the favor by kicking our rear end in the FA Cup. They have back to back matches on April 2nd and April 5th at Chelsea and Arsenal. If they don't drop points in at least one our chances of winning a third title will go up in smoke. There's nothing we can do about it. We've improved as a team from last year. We're scoring more goals and have the second best defense in the league. But United have gone from megabastard to gigabastard, and there might be no stopping them. On the bright side... turns out I have a son! I am virile! I have succeeded at my genetic imperative! Now if only he didn't take after me when it came to talent. 
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 00:52 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 00:47
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Yes, that's what it looks like when the game decides you've been around long enough to have a son. I don't think I missed a note that said he was my son, so I didn't even know he was there until the new crop came in and Bale's name piqued my interest. From most of the one's I've seen online they usually have some serious potential instead of being not anywhere near good enough to play for your club. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 01:02 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 00:53
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So if he gets playing time should is nickname be Batman or the Welsh Psycho? Who's Huw Morris? Google gives me nothing. Also, how the gently caress are United so good? I know John Baxter is some super striker phenom but what else do they have? Jeez at this point they're quickly becoming our new Tackleford. Dreamsicle fucked around with this message at 01:14 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 01:02
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From: AJ_Impy, Reading Owner, Member of the Order of Wrexham Fan Trust Presidents To: Dreamsicle, Wrexham Fan Trust President CC: Sky Shadowing, Southampton Owner, Member of the Order of Wrexham Fan Trust Presidents Subject: RE:Operation Deviltamer Hmm, tricky. They have so much inertia that very few teams could tempt their players away. Fortunately, Wrexham is one of them. Start tapping up, turn their heads at every opportunity, coyly flatter them, get the manager to use glowing praise of their abilities at every opportunity. Unsettle, poke, prod and provoke as much as possible: If nothing else, it will force them to drain their coffers keeping what they have, and might attract other buyers. This one's on you: Reading are still a couple of years off where they need to be for Operation Woolwichdammerung, and at this point we're even struggling to best Southampton. Ceterum censeo Arsenal esse delendam, AJ_Impy
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Sep 29, 2014 01:25
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habeasdorkus posted:Yes, that's what it looks like when the game decides you've been around long enough to have a son. I don't think I missed a note that said he was my son, so I didn't even know he was there until the new crop came in and Bale's name piqued my interest. I couldn't help but laugh when I saw that part. A shame that he's not very good though!
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Sep 29, 2014 01:48
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I'm not sure why United are so much better than last year. Most of the faces are the same. Their big purchase was an attacking midfielder from Arsenal who's very good but shouldn't be the difference between their scoring 100 goals last year and on pace for 130 this year.
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Sep 29, 2014 01:59
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Obviously whoever wins this year's boon should use it to turn the Son of Brown into a nightmare on the pitch. Or the guy who won last year's boon should do it. I don’t think he’s cashed it in yet. Alternatively, it could be used to magically accelerate the construction of our new stadium.
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Sep 29, 2014 03:04
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Wait, he was born IN WREXHAM but is neither Welsh nor eligible to play for Wales?
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Sep 29, 2014 03:05
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The Sandman posted:Obviously whoever wins this year's boon should use it to turn the Son of Brown into a nightmare on the pitch. Talking of boons, how's Paul McStay doing?
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Sep 29, 2014 03:10
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The Sandman posted:Obviously whoever wins this year's boon should use it to turn the Son of Brown into a nightmare on the pitch. May I suggest giving him godly managerial stats and naming him the manager for Tackleford? 
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Sep 29, 2014 03:18
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Man, I love this thread so much. I'm Australian and know basically nothing about soccer, but this whole thing is just a joy to read. Of course, I decided to buy Football Manager 2014 during the last sale and I have no idea what to do. I don't regret it, though!The Sandman posted:Obviously whoever wins this year's boon should use it to turn the Son of Brown into a nightmare on the pitch. This pretty much has to happen. Probably not starting-eleven amazing, but Justin Bailey-ing him into a rotation option needs to happen. OddObserver posted:May I suggest giving him godly managerial stats and naming him the manager for Tackleford? This might actually be better somehow. Only if we can guarantee that Tackleford can get to our level fast, though.
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Sep 29, 2014 03:57
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OddObserver posted:May I suggest giving him godly managerial stats and naming him the manager for Tackleford? Only if they get to the Prem.
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Sep 29, 2014 04:03
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i81icu812 posted:Wait, he was born IN WREXHAM but is neither Welsh nor eligible to play for Wales? Yeah. It raises some questions. And he's been there since 2008, five and a half years before I crossed the pond to even start coaching... Obliterati posted:Talking of boons, how's Paul McStay doing? McStay's 17 and Celtic sold him to Swansea for 8m in the summer window because they're idiots. He's been a regular for Swansea this season in the EPL and has done pretty well for himself.
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Sep 29, 2014 04:18
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No, no, guys. Make Brown Jr. a BEAST player...then transfer him to Tackleford. "You didn't pay attention to me, dad. You didn't believe in me, dad. Now I'll show you. I'll show YOU".
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Sep 29, 2014 07:30
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Chapter the Ninth: Neck and neck. April 1, 2025-April 20, 2025 If Arsenal and Chelsea can't hold back United over the next five days our shot at the league title is as good as gone and we'll have to settle for focusing on the Champions League. If one of them can win, though, it'll take just one other slip up in the league by United to give us a shot.  “Unstoppable” is two goals in four games? What do you call four goals in three, then? Because that's what Thiago had.   Finally an award that United can't steal from us. Can you guess which goal won him the award?  I feel like I'm chasing the ghost car in Ridge Racer.  Thiago looks like a lock for Golden Boot while Meteor or String could finish with the best average rating. I expect United to still get all the glory. We've been criminally underrated by the media, with the sole exception being the plaudits they've wreathed upon me. I'm great and all, but my players deserve more of the credit, damnit.  Restocking our youth squad with purchases from elsewhere continues. This guy won't be able to come over for another year due to Brazilian laws involving minors, but he's going to be real good regardless of whether he changes that silly haircut. My staff tells me that he'll get the work permit on appeal... but after the Moctezuma setback I don't trust them.  The U20 team does not get off on the right foot. We were up 2-0 and our defense decided to lay out the red carpet for the Jamaicans while our attack vanished after 45 minutes.  See how good he is, UK Border Agency?  Moctezuma's already better than this guy, but you've waved the Brazilian player on through. I should sue you for bias in your decisionmaking.  God bless you, Jose Mourinho. United are up two points on us, and no longer have any games in hand. Next they face Arsenal.  He'll be on the bench for the next match, I don't want to rush him back and Hammatt deserves some playing time.  F&#%. I don't like the risk of him being out until the end of April, so he'll be shelved. I hope O'Hanlon is ready for a chance at the limelight.  I don't even remember what happened the last time we interacted. He's AU-Paul Lambert of Aston Villa, but hasn't held a job for longer than a year since leaving Villa in 2017.  Apparently he doesn't remember, either.  We finished second in the group, behind Jamaica. That is unacceptable. Two of our players are injured for the rest of the tournament, so we're going to be shorthanded through the knockout rounds. vs Reading, April 5, 2025 Premier League  Arsenal and Man U played in the early game, and Arsenal hung on for a scoreless draw. United are now three points ahead of us and we've played one fewer match than they have. If we win all seven of our remaining games and overcome the current 15 goal lead that United have on us we'll win the league. So what I'm saying is, there's a chance. Also, check out that prediction in the preview. Y'all need Jesus, Southampton. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, O'Hanlon, Laux, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Petts, Allan, Parr, Aarts. The Golden Boy has been in a minor slump recently, without a goal or assist since February, so it's good to see him break out and put us on top. Our continuing pressure tells on the Southampton defense, and when they're caught watching El Compadrito fly through the air to reach a Meteor cross the odds turn even more in our favor. The Turk adds a third in the second half, and we're tied on points with the Red Devils. Man of the Match: Sinan Ünsal   Wrexham 3-0 Reading  This is what we get for not doing a better job in the group stage. vs Juventus, April 9, 2025 Champions League, Quarterfinal Round Home Leg  If we could just blow the roof off the stadium and go to Italy up six goals, that would be real nice.  Pretty sure that's considered a defensive tactic. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Laux, Quiboulaz, Taffarel, Shirra, Ünsal, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Petts, Allan, Parr, Aarts. My dream of a bajillion goals is bolstered when Loseille scores in the 3rd minute, it's Meteor's 21st assist of the season and he's two away from a new career high. We don't increase our edge until the 44th minute when the Turkish referee awards us a penalty kick, and the Golden Boy doesn't miss penalties. It was probably a good call, though of course you could go on any internet forum to hear people decry and defend it with great passion. Late in the game Thiago does his thing and we win 3-0. Meteor's assist on Thiago's goal ties his career high of a year ago. Juventus have to beat us 4-0 in Turin to get past us now. Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic.   Wrexham 3-0 Juventus  Whew. He went down in the 86th minute, so I didn't think it was that serious. But you never know until you get the butchers bill.  It took the Bastard 45 appearances to set his record, Thiago's done it in 37.  It wasn't a pretty win, but we're very likely to take home the championship for a second consecutive time.  My shopping is done, with the transfer and agent fee bills coming to just over £11m for seven prospects. They're all four stars or better but for the Welsh guy, and our U18s are going to be downright fearsome next season.  Not allowing two goals on four shots will generally improve your outcomes, I've found. vs Sheffield United, April 12, 2025 Premier League  We need to make up twelve goals on United. I know it's a pipe dream. If we win the league it'll be because of an unexpected stumble on their part while we manage to survive the gauntlet. Still, if there's any chance that we can overcome their tiebreaker advantage we need to get stuck in regardless of the likelihood of success. The Red Devils aren't active today. If we win we can enjoy the top of the table, however briefly. Starting Formation: 3-4-3 Attack Starting 11: Kovacevic, O'Hanlon, Quiboulaz, Laux, Cirjak, Taffarel, Bailey, Mujkic (c), Aarts, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Reed, Petts, Taborda, Parr, De Blasio. Things go more or less as planned. Taffarel scores on a header, which is uncommon considering his slight stature. Then Thiago has a goal called back for no good reason, and I'm asking the side judge tell the ref to open his eyes. It's two-nil when Aarts finds the goal for the first time since January, he's been relegated to the bench behind Thiago, who has been as hot as the core of a star since the late winter. We get our third, from who else but Thiago, when we switch back to the 4-2-3-1 in the final half hour. A three-nil win is good, but it's not going to close the gap on Manchester. Man of the Match: Bram Aarts.   Wrexham 3-0 Sheffield Utd  This is the earliest I've ever mathematically clinched a CL place, but merely qualifying for next year hasn't been our goal for a while now. We need trophies to be sated.  I think the shots for and shots against tell the whole story here. The U20s got Wrexhammed.  Heckity-thump, the U20s have to play at Toulon too? So many friggin' tournaments at once this summer. The team I send to France for the Toulon tournament is going to be bare bones, any U20 player with significant present ability and future potential is going to be either at the Confederations Cup or the Gold Cup gaining experience for the future. I think I'll let Paul Williams handle the kiddie matches as payback after failing to mention that I had a son for an entire year.  : Guys, guys. This is like asking me which of my children I love most.: You do have other children! I knew it! I hate you!: Aww geez, William. It's a figure of speech.At Juventus, April 15, 2025 Champions League, Quarterfinal Round Away Leg  One reason to play the 3-4-3 in our last match was to rotate in some different players and keep our usual suspects rested for Juventus. It doesn't change the fact that we're feeling the fatigue, several of our players are starting at under 95% condition. Regardless, we'll be going to the semis again barring a complete collapse a la our first CL quarterfinal against Real Madrid. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Counter Starting 11: Kovacevic, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Ünsal, Bailey, Taborda, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Shirra, Allan, Parr, Aarts. The Bianconeri are one fourth of the way to climbing out of the grave we dug them after 18 minutes, and I'm concerned about holding them to two goals as we're having no success on the counter. We're holding on late in the first half when we get a corner, and Justin Bailey shows some serious cheat code magic by scoring on the corner kick itself. Bailey sent it in towards the near post and onetime object of my affection Liad Eliav attempted to head it away. He got in the way of his own keeper, who was trying to reach over him for the ball, and their collision means that the ball floats above them and across the line. Juventus needs to score four goals in the next fifty minutes or be cast out of the Champions League. Juve do rally for two more going into the final twenty minutes. It's making me thank my lucky stars that Shirra was a touch too tired to start over Bailey, we'd be tied were it not for his corner kick miracle. We get another bit of luck when String takes advantage of a misplayed ball to give us a second goal with fifteen minutes left. It seals our victory. Juventus manage to get the four goals they needed before time runs out, but by conceding twice we advance on an aggregate score of 5-4.   Juventus (4) 4-2 (5) Wrexham  At the same time that we were hanging on by the hair of our chinny chin chin, Dortmund overcame a first game deficit against Manchester United. It's United's first loss since we beat them back in January, and they're out of the running far sooner than I could have hoped. There is no one in the game who scare me as much as United do.  Credit where credit is due, that creep Bruno Santos can roll.  Chelsea and Wrexham will play roughly once a week for the next three weeks. We're going to get real familiar with each other. If by the end of it both I and the Chelsea coach haven't killed one another it's a victory for world peace. At Southampton, April 19, 2025 Premier League  United had a surprisingly tough time with Leeds, but they still won 1-0. We've got to keep up the pressure. We have Chelsea at Stamford Bridge on Tuesday, meaning just two days to rest up between now and then. That plays a role in deciding the starting 11. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Kovacevic, Cirjak, O'Hanlon, Laux, Taffarel, Shirra, Petts, Parr, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Quiboulaz, Bailey, Taborda, Collett, Aarts. Southampton don't seem to realize that they're supposed to be in awe of us and we're lucky to not go behind at the very start. After the first few frantic minutes things settle back into their usual routine. The lead comes when Cirjak gets lucky from very long range in the 18th minute. Meteor beats the keeper near halftime to double that, and more importantly reduce United's goal differential advantage to nine. Allan gives us a third goal, but we finally concede one of our own, and come away with a 3-1 victory. Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic   Southampton 1-3 Wrexham  I knew he'd miss time the moment he took a minor injury in the first half. While apparently Shirra can be knocked out cold and get back on the pitch in a couple days, Parr can't help but have his injuries linger. USMNT  The United States has produced some real prospects, but they're almost all attacking players. The U20, and later the senior team, will struggle if we can't develop a decent defensive midfielder and more than one competent member of the back four. Our undoing in the final against Canada was that our box to box midfielder had a Marking of 5. Wrexham  We could walk away with two trophies or none. The season comes down to these four weeks, and whether the Red Devils or the Red Dragons have the fortitude to withstand the crushing pressure that comes with a late season title chase. All I know is that if we can win the season on the final day by defeating Manchester City, I will sacrifice everything to win our threepeat.   Board Vote(Tersely) I'll keep this short. We are walking the knife's edge in both the league and Europe. This could be the year of our second double, or it could be the first time in two years that we go home with don't take one of the three major prizes.  As you are all aware, we took out a £34m loan to cover operating costs in January. We will be repaying £7m a year until January of 2030 on that loan. I'd like to congratulate whichever one of you managed to get us such a low interest rate. At the moment we are £2.5m in the red. With prize and television money arriving in May and season ticket renewals in June, we should have a positive balance of £35m-£50m.  We have not seen major year over year increases in any area of income except merchandising. We are on pace to nearly double the amount of merchandise sold, from £12.8m to £21m, a sign of our growing popularity worldwide as the feeble-minded are attracted like moths to our glorious flame. Ex-player sales and bank loans, our turnover last season was £205m. This year we project it to be roughly £215m  Our player costs continue to increase. We project that we will spend £26m more this year on player's weekly base wages than we did in 2023-2024. However, we have also seen year upon year declines in some other expenses. Ex-player purchases, we spent £278.5m last year and are on pace to spend only £230m this season.  We are in zero risk of running afoul Financial Fair Play regulations. Please see below for the two questions we must decide at this meeting. QUESTION ONE: Comprehensive wage and transfer budget. (Coin-clinkingly) At the moment we have a combined wage and transfer cap of £118.5m. Our wages of £105m are fifth in the league, behind Chelsea and Arsenal at £120m, City at £131m, and United at £162m. Our wages place us 11th in the world. We are currently near the maximum we can spend without selling players. Please respond with an amount between £120m and £200m, and whether you would like me to balance the budget by selling players or continue to use transfer income towards future purchases and finance the club with debt. QUESTION TWO: Facilities or Youth Recruitment and Junior Coaching? (Naggingly) We have the choice between improving our current senior team and youth facilities to the Top (20 Attribute) level from their current Excellent (18 Attribute) status for £10m, or expanding our Youth Recruitment Network from Established (15 Attribute) to Well Established (17 Attribute) and improving our Junior Coaching from Excellent (17 Attribute) to Exceptional (19 Attribute) for an increase in monthly expenses. A) (Convincingly) Top facilities mean top players, and we can't compete unless the unfinished young players we bring in are able to reach their full potential. (Improve facilities, spend £10m, help players at the club improve more quickly and stay good longer) B) (Convincingly) Producing our own top quality recruits is vital to the long run stability of the club, and would help us fulfill the Home Grown player requirement in the Champions League. (Increase monthly expenses by some amount, improve the quality of our yearly academy class) C) (Miserly) Didn't you just say we had no money? (No improvements made) Vote will close on Wednesday, October 1, at 4pm EST.
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Sep 29, 2014 09:55
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Tackleford's clinched promotion to the Championship, btw. 100 points in 44 games. I think this time they'll finally stick there.
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Sep 29, 2014 09:56
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200M, and use your discretion. A, we'll get the youth upgrade later, we need our trophy winners in top condition.
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Sep 29, 2014 11:53
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You have a small error as the Atletico away leg list Wrexham as the winner instead of losing 1-0. Also I think your son will have to get a Joffrey portrait 
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Sep 29, 2014 13:11
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200M, and balance as best you can, but use discretion if a great opportunity occurs. A - I'd vote for B to if I could This. I think it was the last goaln- but not sure. Which one was it? Cthulhu Dreams fucked around with this message at 13:45 on Sep 29, 2014 |
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Sep 29, 2014 13:43
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Whatever budget allows us to take option D. Option D: Do both. We'll just have to tighten our belts and embezzle less money this year.
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Sep 29, 2014 13:58
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I want us to be slightly better than the English clubs around us, so 165 million. A, we have shown time and time again, players that we can develop from a young age to fit our scheme work the best
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Sep 29, 2014 14:49
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130M, and use your own discretion. Also, A).
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Sep 29, 2014 14:50
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190 million and do your best to avoid debt but if a good opportunity presents itself. Also A
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Sep 29, 2014 15:46
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130 million, use your own discretion, and A.
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Sep 29, 2014 17:11
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120 mil, no debt, C. The club needs money in the bank for the financing of other outside projects that nobody else but me happen to be involved in, damnit.
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Sep 29, 2014 17:16
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