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Snapchat A Titty posted:(his real name being the Yule Man, btw) This yules.
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Aug 30, 2014 09:32
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It looks like he's about to brain the viewer with candy cane while smiling psychotically.Wild T posted:My irrational hatred for Kirk Cameron aside
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Aug 30, 2014 15:17
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:Cameron of course took this as a persecution complex I don't see a whole lot of celebrating going on there. Wild T posted:Although I hope this movie makes a meager profit, so I can hold out hope for a sequel coproduced by Tyler Perry. We could have Christian White and his cousin Christian Black teaming up to save Easter. They don't need that, they already have an embarrassing black stereotype character in that guy doing his impression of a black preacher as written by white people in the trailer. sbaldrick posted:Atheists will say "What the gently caress is this crap" and "who the gently caress has wild dance parties at a Christmas party without being trashed" which based on the trailer no one is. Personally I'm curious as to why movies keep doing the "Soul Train dance line" scene when nobody in real life has actually done that in decades. raditts fucked around with this message at 06:04 on Aug 31, 2014 |
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Aug 31, 2014 05:54
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Snapchat A Titty posted:That is my favorite part. Literally Yule is attested decades before christianity is known to have arrived in northern Europe. I mean aside from that I know where Santa Clause comes from (his real name being the Yule Man, btw). He is a very big nisse, nisser being the creatures that live in every house lot. You have to feed your nisse, if you don't, they may knock the life out of your cows, and if you keep not feeding your nisse they'll most likely slip a disc on you or something, make your back all crooked. Wait, so Santa is literally an overgrown Domovoi?
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Aug 31, 2014 06:16
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So I'm watching the History Channel movie Son of God, and though I'm only a half-hour in, I've been collecting some thoughts: Did you know that even though Jesus was all man, he could walk across the desert without breaking a sweat? Many people know about Jesus's miracles and parables, but few of them know about that time he picked up and put down a rock. Did you know that Jesus converted Peter in a one-hour pitch? Did you know the average amount of fish that rots away on the hot set of your average Jesus film could feed a starving village of 5,000 for a day? For all of you kids, when Jesus says he will make Peter a "fisher of men," he is not trying to recruit him as a male prostitute. "Fish" means something entirely different here." Despite popular confusion, and though Jesus told many parables, "Be Like Water" was not one of them. That was Bruce Lee. That Jesus did not in fact heal the lame man only because he felt the doubt in the hearts of his followers, but because he was called out, and he decided to make them look like idiots. Jesus was kinda smug, but, you know, if you were God's son, you'd be a little smug, too, I reckon. The Beatitudes have it all wrong, "Life of Brian"-style. Jesus really said "Blast" not "blessed." Did you know that Jesus did not rebuke multiple Pharisees in separate instances, but actually the same Pharisee over and over again? Pharisees in Jerusalem were basically like that one or two cops in 70s action shows.
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Sep 4, 2014 19:13
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Just Offscreen posted:Wait, so Santa is literally an overgrown Domovoi? Pretty much. That article also links to tomte, the Swedish word for nisse. A "hustomt" in Danish even means a house lot, but I don't know if they're cognate.
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Sep 4, 2014 20:08
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K. Waste posted:So I'm watching the History Channel movie Son of God, and though I'm only a half-hour in, I've been collecting some thoughts: Every time I hear about Jesus movies, I just think about how much I love Last Temptation of Christ. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8V4Yzif8jQY It's one of my favourite movies. It's the only Jesus movie I've seen that takes his message seriously.
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Sep 5, 2014 06:11
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MonsieurChoc posted:It's one of my favourite movies. It's the only Jesus movie I've seen that takes his message seriously. You should really, really see Pier Paolo Pasolini's The Gospel According to St. Matthew - or, the one where Jesus is kind of an rear end in a top hat because, duh, I'm trying to give you the key to salvation you idiots.
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Sep 5, 2014 06:12
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Snapchat A Titty posted:Pretty much. That article also links to tomte, the Swedish word for nisse. A "hustomt" in Danish even means a house lot, but I don't know if they're cognate. Here in Iceland there are 13 santas each with their own gimmick. One is a midget, one steals sausages, one is a peeping tom, one slams doors really hard in the middle of the night etc.. Their mother is a child eating ogress and their cat devours everyone who doesn't get any clothes for Christmas. They've been Americanized a lot in the last century losing their rags in favour of the red Santa suit and toning down the petty crime and cannibalism in favour of placing small treats or toys in shoes left in windows.
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Sep 5, 2014 06:26
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K. Waste posted:Did you know that even though Jesus was all man, he could walk across the desert without breaking a sweat? I misread that as meaning that "Jesus was really manly" and got confused, because what's more manly than walking through a desert without breaking a sweat?
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Sep 5, 2014 10:15
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So I saw christian film "The Identical" the other day. For the uninformed, here's the basic premise: ever hear that elvis has a twin? Well in this world he lived and was given away and this twin went on to be a Elvis impersonator. This movie was the worst movie I have seen in a long time but it's so bad it's fascinating. Trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVrOTMc0wIo
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Sep 12, 2014 07:33
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Wait isn't that the plot of a Twilight Zone episode?
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Sep 12, 2014 10:48
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Optimist with doubt posted:So I saw christian film "The Identical" the other day. For the uninformed, here's the basic premise: ever hear that elvis has a twin? Well in this world he lived and was given away and this twin went on to be a Elvis impersonator. Why didn't they use Elvis' name? Why did they come up with some other bullshit name?
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Sep 12, 2014 16:38
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Mordiceius posted:Why didn't they use Elvis' name? Why did they come up with some other bullshit name? Because the Elvis estate would sue the gently caress out of them
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Sep 13, 2014 18:27
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sbaldrick posted:Because the Elvis estate would sue the gently caress out of them Yeah, the same reason Bubba Ho-Tep dances around Bruce Campbell's identity so hard. They're all actually pretty lucky that Elvis created such a strong public persona with so many unique costumes and distinctive movements.
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Sep 14, 2014 00:21
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How do you guys think Left Behind is going to do? It looks like even worse garbage than your typical evangelical bait, but even God's Not Dead grossed 60 million dollars, and Left Behind has the name recognition of the novels behind it.
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Sep 15, 2014 03:12
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sector_corrector posted:How do you guys think Left Behind is going to do? It looks like even worse garbage than your typical evangelical bait, but even God's Not Dead grossed 60 million dollars, and Left Behind has the name recognition of the novels behind it. Pat Robertson can promote the poo poo out of a movie if he wants to. The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe had as much CBN coverage as Hurricane Katrina.
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Sep 15, 2014 04:02
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Also Nicholas Cage.
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Sep 15, 2014 06:20
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You would think that Christians would be grateful that secularists were keen on removing all aspects of Christ from their 1/3 year long consumer blitz.
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Sep 15, 2014 21:01
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sector_corrector posted:How do you guys think Left Behind is going to do? It looks like even worse garbage than your typical evangelical bait, but even God's Not Dead grossed 60 million dollars, and Left Behind has the name recognition of the novels behind it. Left behind may do pretty well just because of people ironically going to see Nicholas Cage.
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Sep 16, 2014 01:39
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There's serious enjoyment in just watching Nicholas Cage act these days. If he has the right hair I could see us watching it… It's basically a win-win because the Christian side will see it as spreading their message while the secular side will enjoy another dumb action movie with Nicholas Cage being insane. I'm saying the secret to bridging the culture gap you guys were talking about a page or two ago? Nick Cage.
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Sep 16, 2014 10:17
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Holy poo poo The Life Zone is the worst. Terrifying but for reasons I'm sure the director didn't intend. How is forcing someone to go through an unwanted pregnancy and birth seen as the GOOD thing to do? Someone could have taken that exact plot and made a brilliant feminist horror film.
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Sep 25, 2014 22:23
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PUGGERNAUT posted:Holy poo poo The Life Zone is the worst. Terrifying but for reasons I'm sure the director didn't intend. How is forcing someone to go through an unwanted pregnancy and birth seen as the GOOD thing to do? Someone could have taken that exact plot and made a brilliant feminist horror film. John Carpenter did something like that for Masters of Horror.
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Sep 26, 2014 01:15
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This is how you advertise a 4% RT movie
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Oct 3, 2014 02:57
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Well, at least one person thought it was pretty great!
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Oct 3, 2014 03:12
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Language warning Crude or Profane Language: "Gosh" and "Jeez-Louise Sexual Content: Ray and Hattie flirt as they edge toward a night together. After he tells her about the night out he's got planned, she suggestively coos, "I am gonna find a way to pay you back." A few low-cut blouses get screen time, and when Chloe stumbles and falls, the camera spies her bra underneath. http://www.pluggedin.com/movies/intheaters/left-behind-2014.aspx
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Oct 3, 2014 04:00
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Every review I've read for this says this movie looks like it had a cable-access budget, which is pretty hilarious
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Oct 3, 2014 04:11
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:This is how you advertise a 4% RT movie  I love yow they must have thought that the movie going public was going to take them seriously this time. EDIT: This is about how well One for the Money did. I want to visit an alternate universe where Katherine Heigl was cast in this film too. Casimir Radon fucked around with this message at 07:22 on Oct 3, 2014 |
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Oct 3, 2014 07:12
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What the gently caressquote:This film contains maybe the most offensive depiction of a Little Person that I’ve ever seen in any form of media; he is angry, short-tempered, thieving, accusatory, and generally a bad person, and the film strongly implies all this is predominately due to his stature. At the end of the film, he is punted down a slide like a football. I don’t need to defend any position that this film is as un-Christian as you can get, given its depiction of this character. It’s either a joke on the part of the filmmakers—in which case it’s not only horribly misguided, but actually deserving of an apology on their part—or some other kind of moral or intellectual failure by all involved. But whatever it is, it is the most mean-spirited, insensitive, idiotic thing I’ve seen in my tenure reviewing for Christianity Today.
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Oct 3, 2014 11:16
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Mr Ice Cream Glove posted:What the gently caress I hope it is Nicolas Cage doing the punting. That would be the only thing that could trump his Wicker Man "punching a woman in the face while wearing a bear suit."
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Oct 3, 2014 12:39
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In other Christian film news, a movie called The Remaining opened recently, though I've seen absolutely no signs of it. IMDb says it got a limited release sometime last month, and CanIStream.It says no, I cannot stream it anywhere.IMDb posted:Friends gather at a wedding, but the celebration is shattered by terrifying apocalyptic events forcing them to examine life, love and faith as they must choose between redemption and survival. It sounds like it's basically a Christian version of Melancholia, and since that apparently wasn't enough, it's also a found footage film, which has me extremely curious. Does anyone know anything about this film?
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Oct 3, 2014 15:50
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Apparently Nic Cage just phones it in, so the movie isn't even worth it for that.
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Oct 3, 2014 15:55
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Jay Dub posted:In other Christian film news, a movie called The Remaining opened recently, though I've seen absolutely no signs of it. IMDb says it got a limited release sometime last month, and CanIStream.It says no, I cannot stream it anywhere. I hope the moral conundrum they face is that they'd really like to shag before the apocalypse hits but they're not officially married yet so they can't.
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Oct 3, 2014 15:58
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Grendels Dad posted:I hope the moral conundrum they face is that they'd really like to shag before the apocalypse hits but they're not officially married yet so they can't. Kind of same thing https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BkVKXJB6p8w
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Oct 3, 2014 17:20
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Nicholas Cage not playing the Antichrist is a real missed opportunity.
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Oct 4, 2014 01:12
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It even depicts an angry little person who gets punted down an airplane slide. ~*Christian Love*~
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Oct 4, 2014 01:46
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Detective No. 27 posted:Nicholas Cage not playing the Antichrist is a real missed opportunity. Apparently the Antichrist isn't even in it. It's just an adaptation of like the first third of the book.
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Oct 4, 2014 05:15
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DStecks posted:Apparently the Antichrist isn't even in it. It's just an adaptation of like the first third of the book.
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Oct 4, 2014 05:22
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FlamingLiberal posted:Then what's even the point. To make Left Behind 2: The Search for More Money!
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Oct 4, 2014 05:24
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FlamingLiberal posted:Then what's even the point.
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Oct 4, 2014 05:36
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