incontinent ninja sniper hunts cops in penn.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > incontinent ninja sniper hunts cops in penn.

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

I hope they dont find him and like on xmas eve he just aces a couple of random cops sitting in their patrol car at a donut shop or something so that the cycle can continue.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:03

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# ? May 20, 2024 06:47

Lowtechs: Jan 12, 2001; Grimey Drawer

Alas Boobylon posted:

I'd say all things considered he's doing pretty drat well. I'd have shot my head off first thing after murdering some troopers. Sleep in the forest, a forest WITHOUT internet? Deuces. Actually I would have just shot my own dick trying to turn off the safety and bled out while the cops probably kick me a lot.

Also lol literally every cop in PA is white.

Well PA is 80% White once you get out of Philly or Pittsburgh it is seriously Whitey McWhite land.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:04

communism bitch: Apr 24, 2009

Lowtechs posted:

Well PA is 80% White once you get out of Philly or Pittsburgh it is seriously Whitey McWhite land.

How does the whole thing with negroes only counting as 3/5ths of a person play into these statistics? If negroes in America were considered to be fully human would it be closer to like a 65/35 split?

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:06

FRINGE: May 23, 2003; title stolen for lf posting

orangesampson posted:

Hundreds of law enforcement officials have been searching

I am sure the mighty heroes are doing this on volunteer-hours and not scamming the public for bullshit overtime hours. Right?

Boogaleeboo posted:

Deer are possibly the only thing even more stupid than the average cop.

I dunno...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNGGbozilko

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:10

Lowtechs: Jan 12, 2001; Grimey Drawer

Oberleutnant posted:

How does the whole thing with negroes only counting as 3/5ths of a person play into these statistics? If negroes in America were considered to be fully human would it be closer to like a 65/35 split?

PA kept out the negroes by banning slavery in 1780 and importing slaves was banned in 1767.

Lowtechs fucked around with this message at 02:16 on Oct 5, 2014

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:14

.lnk to the past: May 3, 2005; psoting while drunk

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

if you mad about wolves you are a stone cold dumb motherfucker

aka a minnesotan

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:14

wane tendo: Mar 19, 2005; Buglord

Alas Boobylon posted:

Day 30 OCT-7th (?)

Food supplies running low, when we found his stockpile the first man on it, a rookie private, immediately tore into the tuna can with his teeth, cracking four of them. The sergeants pulled him off, wailing, in a scrum. Not to help him, no, to do exactly the same thing. We didn't have can openers, that went towards the Rook. Every half sane man left thinks this exact thought. No one says anything. It doesn't matter anymore.

At first we thought the diapers were his. Well, that's what the dick sucking politicos tried to convince us anyway, convince themselves. But Frein doesn't need to poop. He doesn't need to do anything, but kill cops. Kill fat cops, fat baby fat goo goo cops. The diapers were for us. Every man that walked off on his own to poo poo disappeared. Same with groups. We'd lose contact with squads on opposite sides of the forest at the same time. "Maybe they left, maybe they got out." But we all knew, there was no way out of this forest. Frein was the forest, and the diapers were for us. lovely lovely poo cop diapers.

Those that wear the diapers, live, those that don't... But I don't care anymore, I'm already dead. I don't remember when I died. Was it when the chief locked himself in the Rook, furiously masturbating as he doused himself in gasoline? Or when we received the last broadcast from the outside world, from John MacPhareus at Utica 103.1, "fucken cops, die piglets lol." Even if we got out, there's no going back. Every time I close my eyes I see soiled diapers as involuntarily as I poo poo in them. Frein has won. I love my diapers.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:17

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Prokhor Zakharov posted:

if you mad about wolves you are a stone cold dumb motherfucker

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:18

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

Oberleutnant posted:

I hope they dont find him

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:21

FRINGE: May 23, 2003; title stolen for lf posting

Alas Boobylon posted:

Day 30 OCT-7th (?)

Food supplies running low, when we found his stockpile the first man on it, a rookie private, immediately tore into the tuna can with his teeth, cracking four of them. The sergeants pulled him off, wailing, in a scrum. Not to help him, no, to do exactly the same thing. We didn't have can openers, that went towards the Rook. Every half sane man left thinks this exact thought. No one says anything. It doesn't matter anymore.

At first we thought the diapers were his. Well, that's what the dick sucking politicos tried to convince us anyway, convince themselves. But Frein doesn't need to poop. He doesn't need to do anything, but kill cops. Kill fat cops, fat baby fat goo goo cops. The diapers were for us. Every man that walked off on his own to poo poo disappeared. Same with groups. We'd lose contact with squads on opposite sides of the forest at the same time. "Maybe they left, maybe they got out." But we all knew, there was no way out of this forest. Frein was the forest, and the diapers were for us. lovely lovely poo cop diapers.

Those that wear the diapers, live, those that don't... But I don't care anymore, I'm already dead. I don't remember when I died. Was it when the chief locked himself in the Rook, furiously masturbating as he doused himself in gasoline? Or when we received the last broadcast from the outside world, from John MacPhareus at Utica 103.1, "fucken cops, die piglets lol." Even if we got out, there's no going back. Every time I close my eyes I see soiled diapers as involuntarily as I poo poo in them. Frein has won. I love my diapers.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:37

Izumi Konata: May 4, 2012; by Ralp

the pampered pest

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:49

Harald: Jul 10, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Alas Boobylon posted:

Day 30 OCT-7th (?)

Food supplies running low, when we found his stockpile the first man on it, a rookie private, immediately tore into the tuna can with his teeth, cracking four of them. The sergeants pulled him off, wailing, in a scrum. Not to help him, no, to do exactly the same thing. We didn't have can openers, that went towards the Rook. Every half sane man left thinks this exact thought. No one says anything. It doesn't matter anymore.

At first we thought the diapers were his. Well, that's what the dick sucking politicos tried to convince us anyway, convince themselves. But Frein doesn't need to poop. He doesn't need to do anything, but kill cops. Kill fat cops, fat baby fat goo goo cops. The diapers were for us. Every man that walked off on his own to poo poo disappeared. Same with groups. We'd lose contact with squads on opposite sides of the forest at the same time. "Maybe they left, maybe they got out." But we all knew, there was no way out of this forest. Frein was the forest, and the diapers were for us. lovely lovely poo cop diapers.

Those that wear the diapers, live, those that don't... But I don't care anymore, I'm already dead. I don't remember when I died. Was it when the chief locked himself in the Rook, furiously masturbating as he doused himself in gasoline? Or when we received the last broadcast from the outside world, from John MacPhareus at Utica 103.1, "fucken cops, die piglets lol." Even if we got out, there's no going back. Every time I close my eyes I see soiled diapers as involuntarily as I poo poo in them. Frein has won. I love my diapers.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 02:54

Nut to Butt: Apr 13, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

get this, yall- other predators are a dangerous nuisance to humans

# ? Oct 5, 2014 03:00

Philthy: Jan 28, 2003; Pillbug

Something Witty posted:

Theres gotta be at least one dude who showed up dressed in blue and nothing but a baton to call all those other guys pussies.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 07:18

The Droid: Jun 11, 2012

Any ETA on the police begging for one of these to try to find Frein?

# ? Oct 5, 2014 07:49

SMILLENNIALSMILLEN: Jun 26, 2009

Stay safe diaper sniper.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 07:49

Dandywalken: Feb 11, 2014

The Droid posted:

Any ETA on the police begging for one of these to try to find Frein?

This thing owns

I think it could 1v1 the Rook.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 07:50

manpurse: Mar 19, 2007

katlington posted:

Stay safe diaper sniper.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 09:49

Yivgev: May 19, 2004; i brought my +1 ak-47

Dandywalken posted:

This thing owns

I think it could 1v1 the Rook.

a segway with a glock duct-taped to the handle could 1v1 the rook

# ? Oct 5, 2014 09:54

Shasta Orange Soda: Apr 25, 2007

Lowtechs posted:

Well PA is 80% White once you get out of Philly or Pittsburgh it is seriously Whitey McWhite land.

we have black people, we just cram them all into the cities so we can have the small towns for ourselves. harrisburg is only 30% white

# ? Oct 5, 2014 10:27

PoconoHermit: Oct 25, 2005; Fire in the hole, Internet!

There are black folks in Canadensis. I know both of them.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 12:43

orangesampson: Nov 22, 2012; by Ion Helmet

FRINGE posted:

I am sure the mighty heroes are doing this on volunteer-hours and not scamming the public for bullshit overtime hours. Right?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNGGbozilko

To be serious a minute, I legit think they are letting him hide to it gets cold out to get those sweet OT hours. Or they just could be incompetent.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 13:19

Shasta Orange Soda: Apr 25, 2007

PoconoHermit posted:

There are black folks in Canadensis. I know both of them.

i was up in the poconos with a friend and we saw a rebel flag tacked to the side of a barn, and he's like "who's that guy mad at? the one black dude in a cosby sweater we saw at the convenience store?"

# ? Oct 5, 2014 13:26

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

Ork of Fiction posted:

Dooks Proving Hazardous to Police Reputation (AP)

Dookies of Hazard

# ? Oct 5, 2014 13:30

paint dry: Feb 8, 2005

Al Borland posted:

Dookies of Hazard

# ? Oct 5, 2014 13:37

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

Alas Boobylon posted:

Day 30 OCT-7th (?)

Food supplies running low, when we found his stockpile the first man on it, a rookie private, immediately tore into the tuna can with his teeth, cracking four of them. The sergeants pulled him off, wailing, in a scrum. Not to help him, no, to do exactly the same thing. We didn't have can openers, that went towards the Rook. Every half sane man left thinks this exact thought. No one says anything. It doesn't matter anymore.

At first we thought the diapers were his. Well, that's what the dick sucking politicos tried to convince us anyway, convince themselves. But Frein doesn't need to poop. He doesn't need to do anything, but kill cops. Kill fat cops, fat baby fat goo goo cops. The diapers were for us. Every man that walked off on his own to poo poo disappeared. Same with groups. We'd lose contact with squads on opposite sides of the forest at the same time. "Maybe they left, maybe they got out." But we all knew, there was no way out of this forest. Frein was the forest, and the diapers were for us. lovely lovely poo cop diapers.

Those that wear the diapers, live, those that don't... But I don't care anymore, I'm already dead. I don't remember when I died. Was it when the chief locked himself in the Rook, furiously masturbating as he doused himself in gasoline? Or when we received the last broadcast from the outside world, from John MacPhareus at Utica 103.1, "fucken cops, die piglets lol." Even if we got out, there's no going back. Every time I close my eyes I see soiled diapers as involuntarily as I poo poo in them. Frein has won. I love my diapers.

I want this to be true.

orangesampson posted:

Authorities believe they have spotted Frein from a distance, but the rough terrain made it impossible to get to him.

Rough Terrain is the rooks enemy.

Rough terrain, won't restrain the Frein.

Al Borland fucked around with this message at 13:50 on Oct 5, 2014

# ? Oct 5, 2014 13:44

orangesampson: Nov 22, 2012; by Ion Helmet

Al Borland posted:

Rough terrain, won't restrain the Frein.

"

The 18-year-old sister of a suspect in a deadly police ambush said she thinks her brother, Eric Frein, has fled the Pocono Mountain woods, according to a story in The Morning Call.

Tiffany Frein told the Call she believes the intensive manhunt has failed to capture her brother because he is no longer in the deep woods where officers are looking for him.

"I think if he were here they definitely would have found him by now," she told the Call.

A massive manhunt for the fugitive entered its fourth week on Saturday. Frein is charged in an ambush three weeks ago that left one state police trooper dead and one injured."

# ? Oct 5, 2014 14:17

Drunk & Ugly: Feb 10, 2003; GIMME GIMME GIMME, DON'T ASK WHAT FOR

I really hope theyve just been wandering around the woods like idiots, falling out of trees and hes not there

it means there wont be a firefight but you cant have everything

# ? Oct 5, 2014 14:27

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Drunk & Ugly posted:

I really hope theyve just been wandering around the woods like idiots, falling out of trees and hes not there

it means there wont be a firefight but you cant have everything

not necessarily they could have a firefight with each other

# ? Oct 5, 2014 14:28

wilfredmerriweathr: Jul 11, 2005

If there is a firefight then the cops get to be like "yeah we took that guy out we are heroes" but if he's fled (he probably has) then they just look like a bunch of meathead dipshits holding their dicks in the woods which is probably better because these guys need to get their budgets cut HARD

# ? Oct 5, 2014 14:30

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Basically now is the time to begin a massive crime spree in the area since all the cops are dicking around in the woods.

Also Frein needs to up his game and call the families of the victims and taunt them, Dorner style.

haljordan fucked around with this message at 14:57 on Oct 5, 2014

# ? Oct 5, 2014 14:51

Alas Boobylon: Sep 30, 2014

orangesampson posted:

The 18-year-old sister of a suspect in a deadly police ambush said she thinks her brother, Eric Frein, has fled the Pocono Mountain woods

Wow snitching much?

# ? Oct 5, 2014 15:15

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

Cream_Filling posted:

not necessarily they could have a firefight with each other

I honestly am expecting this to happen. More cops will die from falling out of trees and friendly fire than from frein.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 15:22

old beast lunatic: Nov 3, 2004; by Hand Knit

Stay in the woods forever camo cops!

# ? Oct 5, 2014 15:24

you irl: Jan 22, 2014

Al Borland posted:

I honestly am expecting this to happen. More cops will die from falling out of trees and friendly fire than from frein.

seriously the guy shot one cop, the response seems a little disproportionate

if they did find him i doubt they'd even try to apprehend him, just launch waves of bullets in his general direction

# ? Oct 5, 2014 15:57

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

Alas Boobylon posted:

Wow snitching much?

snitches get poopy britches :toughguy:

# ? Oct 5, 2014 16:10

Real Mean Queen: Jun 2, 2004; Zesty.

so is there any way to figure out what this has cost so far? like let's just say i'm a millionaire ridiculous cop poo poo reenactor, what's this gonna run?

# ? Oct 5, 2014 16:23

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Cowboy Pope posted:

so is there any way to figure out what this has cost so far? like let's just say i'm a millionaire ridiculous cop poo poo reenactor, what's this gonna run?

it's cool, they can just pull however many millions this costs out of any number of programs designed to actually keep people out of a life of crime

# ? Oct 5, 2014 16:32

Alas Boobylon: Sep 30, 2014

Well between, fuel costs, food supplies, OT, more OT, sweet delicious OT, forensic tests, logistics, diaper disposal its probably about ten million at this point. It would be higher if you factored in all the salaries of the cops, though they'd get paid regardless. Lower if you ignore all the crimes and investigations that are not being pursued.

# ? Oct 5, 2014 16:32

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# ? May 20, 2024 06:47

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Alas Boobylon posted:

Well between, fuel costs, food supplies, OT, more OT, sweet delicious OT, forensic tests, logistics, diaper disposal its probably about ten million at this point. It would be higher if you factored in all the salaries of the cops, though they'd get paid regardless. Lower if you ignore all the crimes and investigations that are not being pursued.

theyre probably into quadruple OT at this point. some shitkicker cop probably found frein a week ago, killed him and buried the corpse so he could keep clocking those sweet OT paychecks.

haljordan fucked around with this message at 16:37 on Oct 5, 2014

# ? Oct 5, 2014 16:33

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