The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

I'm going to find a new bar to drink in, and I'm going to get drunker than I've ever been in my entire life! Where's my wallet?

Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place. [looks around] I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap, ladies. [leaves]

# ? Oct 14, 2014 01:55

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# ? May 16, 2024 18:36

Mira: Nov 29, 2009; Max illegality.

What would be the point otherwise?

Do over Ham posted:

Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place. [looks around] I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap, ladies. [leaves]

Lesbian bar? This isn't my army reunion.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 01:58

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

Writer Cath posted:

He's talking clown talk.

We'll get a new snickering dog! One with an untwistable stomach!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:22

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

Do over Ham posted:

Wait a minute...there's something bothering me about this place. [looks around] I know! This lesbian bar doesn't have a fire exit. Enjoy your death trap, ladies. [leaves]

What was her problem?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 02:44

Root Bear: Nov 15, 2004; DARKEST SKETCH

She's fine!

Oh...

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:02

Spectacle Rock: May 24, 2013

But dad, I like picking leader beans with grandma!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:04

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Spectacle Rock posted:

But dad, I like picking leader beans with grandma!

This tomato tastes like Grandma.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:17

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

Mister Kingdom posted:

This tomato tastes like Grandma.

Mister Kingdom, we're in a bit of a pickle. Goons are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:26

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

Do over Ham posted:

Mister Kingdom, we're in a bit of a pickle. Goons are crazy about tobacco, but the politicians won't let us sell it to them.

And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:29

Mira: Nov 29, 2009; Max illegality.

What would be the point otherwise?

Did you see the way Do over Ham's been looking at Mister Kingdom? Ho ho I think there's something going on there.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:30

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Mister Kingdom posted:

This tomato tastes like Grandma.

Try it. It's like kissing a peanut!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:31

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

And, what if your family don't like bread? They like... cigarettes?

I don't get it. Everyone loves rats, but they don't wanna drink the rats' milk?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:39

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

IMJack posted:

I don't get it. Everyone loves rats, but they don't wanna drink the rats' milk?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:49

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

Mira posted:

Did you see the way Do over Ham's been looking at Mister Kingdom? Ho ho I think there's something going on there.

Don't look at me. I'm on Sugar Busters.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 03:53

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

Do over Ham posted:

Don't look at me. I'm on Sugar Busters.

Hey, everybody! If you wanna ask Do Over Ham for a favor, now's the time! He's doped up or dying or something!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 04:02

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

Mister Kingdom posted:

Hey, everybody! If you wanna ask Do Over Ham for a favor, now's the time! He's doped up or dying or something!

If Do Over Ham has consumed the Sugar Busters, and it's probably he has... he has 24 hours to live.

Actually, 22. I'm sorry I kept him waiting so long.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 04:07

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

MondayHotDog posted:

If Do Over Ham has consumed the Sugar Busters, and it's probably he has... he has 24 hours to live.

Actually, 22. I'm sorry I kept him waiting so long.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 04:08

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

MondayHotDog posted:

If Do Over Ham has consumed the Sugar Busters, and it's probably he has... he has 24 hours to live.

Actually, 22. I'm sorry I kept him waiting so long.

[MacGyver...MacGyver...MacGyver...]

Aunt MondayHotDog has one hour to live! :eek:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 04:25

mrfart: May 26, 2004; Dear diary, today I
became a captain.

Do over Ham posted:

[MacGyver...MacGyver...MacGyver...]

Aunt MondayHotDog has one hour to live!

If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 04:37

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

mrfart posted:

If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one.

Mira posted:

Did you have the same backwards-talking dream with the flaming cards?

I'll drive. :stare:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 05:08

After The War: Apr 12, 2005; to all of my Architects
let me be traitor

mrfart posted:

If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one.

Well, shut my mouth. It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 05:17

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

After The War posted:

Well, shut my mouth. It's also illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling!

Tuck in that shirt! Get those shoes shining! Take that badge out of your mouth! You're police officers!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 05:38

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

IMJack posted:

Tuck in that shirt! Get those shoes shining! Take that badge out of your mouth! You're police officers!

Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name! :mad:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 05:40

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name!

I'VE HAD IT UP TO HERE WITH YOU AND YOUR..... RULES! :rant:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 05:47

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

IMJack posted:

Tuck in that shirt! Get those shoes shining! Take that badge out of your mouth! You're police officers!

[Groaning] We're now in the communications room, or the comm room.

[Police Radio Chatter] Uh, this is a police radio the single most important piece of equipment in the comm room.

As you can see, some of the boys like to put their banana stickers all over it.

Uh, there's Chiquita.

That's Del Monte.

There's a Banan Co.

Gorilla's Choice.

[All] Hmm.

Now, uh, everyone follow me to my chair where I just need to get off of my feet for a few minutes. [Chair Squeaks]

[Sighs] Oh, I won't be getting up soon.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 06:20

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name!

Hey, where do we get our grenades at?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 06:31

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

IMJack posted:

Hey, where do we get our grenades at?

All right, you heard the man. [pulls out a box] One grenade each. [hands them out]

# ? Oct 14, 2014 06:37

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Hey, I told you, you don't get your gun until you tell me your name!

Since you attended public school, I'm gonna assume you're already proficient with small arms, so we're gonna start you with something a little more advanced.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 06:44

Frink: Jun 17, 2005

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Since you attended public school, I'm gonna assume you're already proficient with small arms, so we're gonna start you with something a little more advanced.

Holster, bandoleer, silencer, loudener, speed-cocker... and this is for shooting down police helicopters.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 09:42

DrBouvenstein: Feb 28, 2007; I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

Root Bear posted:

CAN'T TALK.

KEEPING MYSELF IN A STATE OF CAT-LIKE READINESS

:catstare:

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:09

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

Drink-Mix Man posted:

Since you attended public school, I'm gonna assume you're already proficient with small arms, so we're gonna start you with something a little more advanced.

My killing teacher says I'm a natural.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:50

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

IMJack posted:

My killing teacher says I'm a natural.

Increase my killing power, eh?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:51

Roark: Dec 1, 2009; A moderate man - a violently moderate man.

mrfart posted:

If you know the name of the felony being committed, press one.

You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:53

Mira: Nov 29, 2009; Max illegality.

What would be the point otherwise?

Roark posted:

You have selected regicide. If you know the name of the king or queen being murdered, press one.

While you wait, why not buy a police cap or a t-shirt?

You have the right to remain fabulous.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 16:56

Drink-Mix Man: Mar 4, 2003; You are an odd fellow, but I must say... you throw a swell shindig.

Mira posted:

While you wait, why not buy a police cap or a t-shirt?

You have the right to remain fabulous.

And don't forget to purchase some orange drink for the long ride home.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 18:24

CatchrNdRy: Mar 15, 2005; Receiver of the Rye.

Drink-Mix Man posted:

And don't forget to purchase some orange drink for the long ride home.

Uh excuse me is there an Orange Julius stand in this thread?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 22:05

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Well would you just look at this place. Thread full of unoptimized gifs, post tags not properly closed off, OP a mess, stacks of old quotes from.... TWENTY YEARS AGO!?! A disheveled and malnourished goon found posting in his own filth, seems confused and socially awkward.

# ? Oct 14, 2014 22:49

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

Jerusalem posted:

Well would you just look at this place. Thread full of unoptimized gifs, post tags not properly closed off, OP a mess, stacks of old quotes from.... TWENTY YEARS AGO!?! A disheveled and malnourished goon found posting in his own filth, seems confused and socially awkward.

Roark loves that water!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 23:29

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

Skeesix posted:

Roark loves that water!

Stupid goons need the most attention!

# ? Oct 14, 2014 23:31

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# ? May 16, 2024 18:36

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

Drink-Mix Man posted:

And don't forget to purchase some orange drink for the long ride home.

Orange drink? What do you, live with your mama?

# ? Oct 14, 2014 23:38

The Something Awful Forums > The Finer Arts > TV IV > The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

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