TV Trops

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Cornwind Evil: Dec 14, 2004; The undisputed world champion of wrestling effortposting

Gimnbo posted:

The invisible hand of the free market likes little girls.

You know how it's been shown repeatedly that a lot of people who succeed in business are sociopaths? Basically, that. Who cares what's right and wrong, money to be made.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 01:31

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# ? May 26, 2024 00:43

JackMackerel: Jun 15, 2011

Since I decided I needed punishment, I went to Ask the Tropers. Someone finds reading a sentence where "folder titles" (basically, a subsection you can open if you're a giant baby about not liking comic books or movies or whatever dumb thing) overly complex:

quote:

Whether or not you agree with the complaints, they are valid and warrant some consideration. (In other words, "harder to parse" is not a personal aesthetic, it's a fact that they take longer to read.) If they add no real value other than a split-second's worth of amusement before they become old and trite, and they make the lists harder to parse, why bother with them?

quote:

Your brain becomes accustomed to patterns and you learn to think in a kind of shorthand that allows you to do minor subtasks without thinking. When I look at a new works page I've never seen before, I barely have to think about the folder buttons because they've become second nature, and I can home in on exactly the one I need because they're all the same.

With long, unwieldy, or really any nonstandard naming scheme, it forces me to think consciously about the finer details of what I'm doing, which are normally on "autopilot", and slows me down.

That may seem like a minor concern, and true enough, removing them is not going to save any starving children. But I was under the impression that computer users don't typically defend features/functions that make tasks take more time/effort with no added value, even if it's just a small amount of extra time/effort.

This poo poo is over unfunny titles as section headers.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 01:52

Penny Paper: Dec 31, 2012

JackMackerel posted:

Since I decided I needed punishment, I went to Ask the Tropers. Someone finds reading a sentence where "folder titles" (basically, a subsection you can open if you're a giant baby about not liking comic books or movies or whatever dumb thing) overly complex

Speaking of Tropers being borderline retarded, I present to you the greatest hits of the trope, drat You, Muscle Memory. It really shows how much they're a bunch of geeks who couldn't survive five minutes with the power off, which makes all of their fantasies about being badasses laughable:

quote:

Western comics read left to right, and manga reads right to left. This leads to at least one person who has read a conversation as "Fine, thank you." "Good, and you?" "Hi! How are you doing?". It gets even more confusing with things like switching from manga-mode to Western comics and wondering why Batman dropkicks a Mook after he tells him "Right Behind You".

quote:

If you've gotten used to living in a same gender dorm / hostel / house with a bunch of your buddies, you might be surprised to find that doing things like walking out of the shower and dripping water all over the floor with just a tiny towel around your waist, leaving smelly socks and clothes all over the place, leaving old pizza boxes and food cartons around until they start growing stinky mushroomy thingies on them and living without hygiene in general is not considered acceptable behaviour in society. Be wary if you visit your parents while on this phase.

quote:

Have you ever been confronted by a large chunk of text and caught your eyes heading toward the upper left corner of the page in pursuit of the "Find on Page" function before realizing you were looking at a book and not a web browser?

quote:

Automatically skipping over banner ads before realizing you're reading a text book and all the brightly coloured, highlighted boxes are in fact "important key information" notes.

The last two I find really weird, because I've never experienced that. Maybe because I have in the past (and still do) read books and am not as addicted to the Internet as these guys/girls/whatevers are. Is this a case of Tropers being Tropers or has modern technology made us all this dog dumb? And, if it's the latter, does being accustomed to non-computer based media make you immune to these?

# ? Oct 18, 2014 05:00

The Bee: Nov 25, 2012; Making his way to the ring . . .
from Deep in the Jungle . . .

The Big Monkey!

Penny Paper posted:

Speaking of Tropers being borderline retarded, I present to you the greatest hits of the trope, drat You, Muscle Memory. It really shows how much they're a bunch of geeks who couldn't survive five minutes with the power off, which makes all of their fantasies about being badasses laughable:

The last two I find really weird, because I've never experienced that. Maybe because I have in the past (and still do) read books and am not as addicted to the Internet as these guys/girls/whatevers are. Is this a case of Tropers being Tropers or has modern technology made us all this dog dumb? And, if it's the latter, does being accustomed to non-computer based media make you immune to these?

Technology can have an impact, but I doubt it's ever like that. I know I get annoyed at an ad sometimes and think "I wish I DVR'd this and could just skip past," but that's just wishful thinking and at least its the same product on the same device. This is is just downright inane.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 05:14

Gen. Ripper: Jan 12, 2013

quote:

Have you ever been confronted by a large chunk of text and caught your eyes heading toward the upper left corner of the page in pursuit of the "Find on Page" function before realizing you were looking at a book and not a web browser?

quote:

Automatically skipping over banner ads before realizing you're reading a text book and all the brightly coloured, highlighted boxes are in fact "important key information" notes.

Dear Lord how much of a shut-in do you have to be for these to seriously apply

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:17

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Like so much else on the site, it's probably just completely fabricated one-upmanship.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 06:21

Ron Paul Atreides: Apr 19, 2012; Uyghurs situation in Xinjiang? Just a police action, do not fret. Not ongoing genocide like in EVIL Canada.

I am definitely not a tankie.

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Like so much else on the site, it's probably just completely fabricated one-upmanship.

yeah, they're lying, trying to be the most tropey of them all.

They all wish they weren't real people. Very nihilistic when you think about it.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 09:56

The Sin of Onan: Oct 11, 2012; And below,
watched by eyes of steel
we dreamt

To be more fair than they possibly deserve; as a university student with a low boredom threshold, I have often found myself wishing that my huge, multi-volume reference books (often with terrible indexing) came with a Ctrl-F function. How you can confuse a page for a computer screen is beyond me, but I can at least see where that one might come from.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 10:35

Segmentation Fault: Jun 7, 2012

Ron Paul Atreides posted:

yeah, they're lying, trying to be the most tropey of them all.

They all wish they weren't real people. Very nihilistic when you think about it.

Would you, if you were a troper?

# ? Oct 18, 2014 10:57

Ague Proof: Jun 5, 2014; they told me
I was everything

Not on tvtropes itself but very tropey: brony redditors debating the quality of Fallout Equestria.

quote:

Synonyms! And clearly you haven't read The Grapes of Wrath if you think that FoE is majorly disinteresting. It has subplots! A lot of 'em! More than you can say for most horse literature, or even normal literature. Nearly every character has a story, backstory and some justification for their actions (except the raiders, who're just batshit because that's how Fallout works). There's a hell of a lot of depth beneath the surface.

quote:

If you believe it's a poorly written novel, you've got two options. Read it and educate yourself, or leave it alone and stop acting the fool.

A link for masochists. Warning: extremely stupid.

Ague Proof fucked around with this message at 11:43 on Oct 18, 2014

# ? Oct 18, 2014 11:41

The Shame Boy: Jan 27, 2014; Dead weight, just like this post.

more subplots=better? No wonder the loving thing is longer than 3 War and Peace's if they're trying to settle a plot thread for "every character" (except raiders because we coulden't come up with any more subplots)

# ? Oct 18, 2014 14:01

Testekill: Nov 1, 2012; I demand to be taken seriously

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

more subplots=better? No wonder the loving thing is longer than 3 War and Peace's if they're trying to settle a plot thread for "every character" (except raiders because we coulden't come up with any more subplots)

It's a bit of a logical fallacy common with nerds. I like X so clearly more of X is going to be even better. That's how they justify a fanfic the size of FOE.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 14:21

Stottie Kyek: Apr 26, 2008; fuckin egg in a bun

Testekill posted:

It's a bit of a logical fallacy common with nerds. I like X so clearly more of X is going to be even better. That's how they justify a fanfic the size of FOE.

It's like when nerds tell jokes. One person tells a joke, e.g. "How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish!"
And someone will always pop up and go, "Ooh, ooh, or it could be, 'rhinoceros' or 'dishwasher' or 'purple', those would be funny too!"
Or if there's one of those Buzzfeed or Cracked top ten lists of funny things, someone shows up in the comments and says "You forgot #11".
Or because they liked Monty Python's Flying Circus first time around, that must mean lines from it quoted out of context must also be funny too, and just as funny as the first time when actual comedians did it. It's possible to have too much of a good thing. Like the nerd obsessions with bacon and Nutella, those things are nice in moderation!

God I recognise so much of those things from me and my friends when I was a teenager. :negative:

That logical fallacy underpins a lot of it.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 14:33

purple death ray: Jul 28, 2007; me omw 2 steal ur girl

TvTropes Pleads the Fifth: Horse Literature

# ? Oct 18, 2014 15:32

Penny Paper: Dec 31, 2012

Stottie Kyek posted:

It's like when nerds tell jokes. One person tells a joke, e.g. "How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? Fish!"
And someone will always pop up and go, "Ooh, ooh, or it could be, 'rhinoceros' or 'dishwasher' or 'purple', those would be funny too!"
Or if there's one of those Buzzfeed or Cracked top ten lists of funny things, someone shows up in the comments and says "You forgot #11".
Or because they liked Monty Python's Flying Circus first time around, that must mean lines from it quoted out of context must also be funny too, and just as funny as the first time when actual comedians did it. It's possible to have too much of a good thing. Like the nerd obsessions with bacon and Nutella, those things are nice in moderation!

God I recognise so much of those things from me and my friends when I was a teenager. That logical fallacy underpins a lot of it.

Oh, then you'll love these posts from "Stuff Geeks Love" that center on humor and what geeks think is funny (replace "geeks" with "tropers" and you'll get it):

quote:

Destroying Humor

Geeks like to think of themselves as wacky and zany people who nobody knows what crazy thing they�ll do next because they�re so chaotic and random! They�ll be the first to tell you that they have a great sense of humor and are always cracking up their friends and making the norms think they�re insane. Of course, this is all relative.

As we�ve discussed, most geeks seem to think humor consists solely of reciting things they saw on television or movies, regardless of context or audience. We�ve also seen how some geeks think that nothing�s funnier than the thought that someone who actually couldn�t care less would be appalled by whatever the geek is reading, which is why Johnny Ryan can pay his bills.

There is a third type of geek, however, and this is the one with absolutely no sense of humor whatsoever. Literally. Any attempt they make at humor is done as though they once heard the definition of the word recited to them over a walkie-talkie by someone reading it phonetically. In the best attempts one can sometimes discern the trace elements of humor in the sample, and in the worst attempts the recipient of the �joke� is merely baffled. Since so many geeks are little more than high-functioning autistics, it�s not surprising that some should have such a poor sense of humor. It is also surprising how many geeks who regularly trade in sarcasm can�t seem to recognize it when it�s aimed at them, unless it�s directly pointed out.

Unfortunately this will not stop them from not only making �jokes� but also �helping� others with their jokes. They will read something funny on a blog or website and then decide to improve it in the comments. There are several ways of doing this:

1) Restating the joke completely. It�s unclear why this would improve it, but you can bet that if you have a gag involving a fireman wearing red suspenders to keep his pants up, at least one geek will show up to suggest that he use the suspenders to assist in the keeping up of his pants.

2) Restating the joke with only one element slightly changed. In the example above, another geek will ask if the fireman�s blue suspenders also keep his pants up.

3) Making the joke go on longer (Type A). This is often seen in the case of a brief parody of something. The geek will come in and attempt to extend the conceit on longer (because, after, more is always better and nothing should ever end!). While they may stumble across an angle the original writer didn�t think of, they will inevitably make the entire affair run on to such an extent that the original writer will have every regret he wrote the thing in the first place.

4) Making the joke go on longer (Type B). This geek will see a list of ten things, described as a list of ten things, and then point out that the writer �forgot� items eleven and twelve.

5) Making the joke more �accurate� (Type A). This geek will fix the joke by correcting some trivial detail that the writer ignored on purpose, oblivious to the fact that while the correction may make the joke more �factually accurate�, it also ruins whatever was funny about it in the first place.

6) Making the joke more �accurate� (Type B). This geek completely missed out on the idea that what he read was a joke and will feel inclined to point out everything about the piece that is outright wrong or �highly unlikely�. While he might be amusing to others present, he himself has been betrayed by his utter lack of humor.

7) Relating the joke back to himself. This geek is unable to see how anything could be funny or interesting unless he�s involved, and therefore will use this opportunity to relate a tale about himself which may, if you�re especially lucky, even be remotely tangential to the topic at hand.

8) Offering suggestions. Even when the original writer asks his audience for other examples of whatever he is pointing out, this geek rises to the occasion by providing items that are not at all what was asked for, but are nevertheless �funny� because they�re a reference to something else.

9) Meme-ing it up. Whether it�s Chuck Norris, Lolcats, All Your Base, or something similar, this geek has never seen an Internet joke he doesn�t think is hilarious. For him, any joke can be improved by somehow shoehorning in whatever the flavor of the month is. This also applies to previous jokes by the same writer. Just because the original author is ready to move on to different things doesn�t mean his audience is!

Not only will none of these make the original joke any funnier, but they�ll also be joined by the other geeks who will be suggesting the addition of MST3K and Kids in the Hall references, turning the entire event into a dismal unfunny swamp. The nature of humor is to subvert expectations, but geeks always demand everything be exactly as they expect it to. Reading comments on humorous articles is a loser�s game, and even writing such articles is pretty much a task only for the brave or foolish.

It may not be as funny but dammit, they can�t let this ignorance of Buffy chronology go unchallenged, and that�s why geeks LOVE destroying humor.

quote:

�Offensive� Humor

Although at their hearts geeks are jealous of mainstream folks and long for their approval, geeks continually attempt to define themselves by their opposition to the mundanes. Nothing brings a geek more joy than the thought that someone out there is horrified at the unorthodox thing he�s doing.

As a result, the only thing geeks find funnier than a pointless pop culture reference is �offensive� humor. Since their enjoyment of it depends primarily on the reactions of imaginary strangers, it�s a bit like masturbation, only they can do it in public.

As far as a geek is concerned, any joke or cartoon or comedy sketch is automatically hilarious if it contains one or more of the following: Hitler, abortion, necrophilia, cannibalism, Jesus, pedophilia, or rape. It�s also good if the joke is misogynistic, homophobic, racist, or antisemitic, though the person making the joke and the people laughing at it will be sure to argue that it is funny because they aren�t really any of those things.

Webcomics in particular adore this humor, since it spares them the difficulty of actually being funny, having characters anyone cares about, or even being able to draw. Why bother putting any kind of effort into your work if instead you can just have a character threaten to murder another and rape the corpse? It�s so wrong!

And of course, as with anything else, for a geek it doesn�t count as them liking it unless they can slap it on a t-shirt, so many of these uproariously offensive �gags� make it into the hallowed medium of white writing on a black shirt, the khaki pants or polo shirt of the geek world. Although the geek will happily wear this shirt to the mall or movie theater in the hopes of really freaking out or annoying the mundanes, he�ll also proudly wear it to the comic book store, where everyone seeing it is already in a similar mindset as himself. It�s actually better in this environment because then maybe someone will point out how awesome and hilarious the geek�s shirt is and he can regale them with stories of the people who freaked out because of it, none of which are true.

You�ll see the same behavior on Internet forums...where the participants are all looking to impress each other with jokes that they imagine are violating the sensitivities of nobody who is actually reading them or cares what is being said. Having then completely disgusted their imaginary audience, they can then high-five and continue with stories of the outlandish things they did or said to Jehovah�s Witnesses or telemarketers, none of which are true.

The reality is, nobody reads these stupid shirts, and nobody cares about them except the geeks themselves. They ultimately have the same effect as those Christian shirts that replace popular slogans and logos with religious ones. They�re just another sad facet of the geeks� imaginary war against the mainstream. There�s nobody out there who, upon reading the geek�s webcomic or manga of choice, becomes horrified and outraged and has their entire worldview shattered by this irreverent lampooning. But geeks are not ones to let the indifference of the machine spoil their raging.

Geeks LOVE �offensive� humor because OMG it�s SO WRONG.

[quote]Pop Culture References

For a geek, it�s not enough to like a book, television show or movie, it is imperative that they be able to recite lines from it at the drop of a hat. Should someone ask what time it is, it�s necessary to respond with the line about time being an illusion from The Hitchhiker�s Guide to the Galaxy, regardless of whether or not the person asking has heard of it. To a geek, this represents �wit� and �humor�.

It stands to reason then, that if a television show itself starts dropping such references, then surely the geek is at ground zero of a comedy explosion, especially if the references are to mostly geeky things! The geek gets two delights out of this: first, he can be impressed with himself that he �got� the reference, since he�ll assume he was one of the few to do so. Secondly, he will feel as though the show is speaking to him, validating his sense of importance in the world. (There�s also a third effect if the reference is to something geeky on a show that is itself not geeky; it�s a sign of mainstream acceptance, which we have already established that geeks crave.)

The other type of reference that geeks enjoy is a reference to bits of obscure pop culture. Here the referrer has a fine line to walk. The reference must be something that is simultaneously not well remembered and not completely forgotten. The 70s is a good decade from which to mine these references, as the bands, television shows, and bad movies are just beginning to fade from popular consciousness, but are still accessible to geeks who lack the mental ability to discard knowledge they no longer need. Incidentally, this is one of the areas where geeks and hipsters overlap, the latter also constantly trying to prove their reference-dropping-and-getting chops. One of the saddest sights in the world is the hipster wearing the Boo Berry t-shirt who�s just seen a guy walk in wearing Fruit Brute.

Once you�ve dropped the name of an old no-hits-wonder band or single-season Saturday morning cartoon, your work is done. You don�t have to formulate a joke revolving around �Tenspeed and Brown Shoe� � simply dropping the name is the extent of the joke. Shows such as �Mystery Science Theater 3000″, �Family Guy�, and pretty much the entire �Adult Swim� lineup have made episode after episode around this idea of comedy.

There is an old joke:

A guy is in prison his first night and after lights out, the prisoners start shouting numbers.

�Seventeen!� someone yells, and the cell block is filled with laughter. Once it dies down, someone shouts, �Thirty-six!� and again, the place is in stitches.

After a while the new guy asks his cell mate what�s so funny. His cell mate explains that they�ve been there for so long, they�ve memorized all the same jokes, and now only need to refer to them by number.

The new guy, wanting to fit in, yells, �Twenty-five!� but there is only silence.

�Son,� says his cell mate, �Why don�t you leave the joke telling to someone funny.�

As bizarre as the prisoners� concept of humor is, it�s exactly how geek humor works. What is said makes no difference whatsoever, just the idea that it is recognized by both people as something that, at some point, was funny to them. This is exactly how geeks use Monty Python references. If a third party mentions a parrot, it�s a race for any nearby geeks to start yelling about how it is �pining for the fjords�. Other geeks will howl with laughter, even though the reference adds no humor to the situation; the joke is simply that the reference was made. If a co-worker is talking about his vacation and mentions, say, riding on a hovercraft at some point, the office geek has to ask if it was �full of eels�. He�ll then look around to see if anyone �got� his joke, despite it not being a joke at all, simply a line from a Monty Python sketch. But when it was said in the sketch it was funny, and the line shares a word with the topic at hand, so by geek rationale, he�s made a joke.

Of course, like everything else a geek does, these references are also a way to start a fandom-rating contest. A glorious moment for a geek is when he drops a line from �Red Dwarf� that another geek � also a supposed fan � doesn�t recognize. Radiant in superiority, the alpha geek can now explain to his inferior exactly which episode it happened in, and then follow with the rest of the scene.

Making and recognizing them requires utterly useless information, makes geeks look �weird�, and allows them to believe they�re having some sort of social interaction, and that�s why geeks LOVE pop culture references.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 16:10

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Geek Social Fallacies?

# ? Oct 18, 2014 17:32

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Stottie Kyek posted:

God I recognise so much of those things from me and my friends when I was a teenager. That logical fallacy underpins a lot of it.

It's okay, we all did this when we were teenagers. It's part of being a teenager. What matters is growing out of it, which we can clearly see the Tropers do not do.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 17:35

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Ague Proof posted:

quote:
If you believe it's a poorly written novel,

Time to take a look at this poorly written novel. (Only the first chapter, because I don't hate myself enough to do more.)

The introduction isn't very remarkable, because it's the intro from Fallout 2 mashed up with the intro from Fallout 3. And for some reason they left out "War, war never changes" which is just silly if you're writing a god drat Fallout fanfic.

The prologue is less remarkable, because it explains that things in Fallout: Equestria are like things in Fallout, except there's pony terms, and there's magic. Also reading it is like PONY PONY CUTIE MARK CUTIE MARK PONNY CUTIE MARK PONY. In the worst exposition info-dump way imaginable, it establishes that the main character is Little Pip, whose butt-stamp is a Pip-Boy. (It calls it a PipBuck, but gently caress you.) This character is average and bland.

Oh, and it starts off in the vaguest in medias res I've ever seen:

quote:

If I�m going to tell you about the adventure of my life -- explain how I got to this place with these people, and why I did what I�m going to do next -- I should probably start by explaining a little bit about PipBucks.

After a load of nothing, we get Chapter 1

quote:

Grey.

The walls of the maintenance stalls were all a very monotonous, dull grey. The particular wall I was staring at had the merit of being a very clean grey. PipBucks were notoriously hardy and reliable, so being the Stable�s PipBuck Technician meant that there were long periods of nothing to do. Being the PipBuck Technician�s apprentice meant that I was assigned all the mundane daily chores while my trainer took extended naps in the back room. Chores like cleaning the walls.

The beginning of a story is where you make your first impression, and having the beginning of a story being "bored and doing nothing" isn't very compelling at all. It might work if it was told in an interesting way, but it's not. It tries to be a bit clever, but it's not. My prediction: there will be much more half-assed attempts at humor.

quote:

�This wall needs a mural.�

I let myself fantasize, picturing the Overmare agreeing and ordering Palette herself to turn our entire stall into one of her brightly colorful masterpieces. Palette was the greatest painter in Stable Two, and like every skilled artist, that made her a stable treasure. Life in Stable Two inevitably began to eat at your spirit -- you were born in the Stable, you lived your whole life in the Stable, you were going to die there, and the course of your life was largely laid out for you to see by your Cutie Mark Party. So the Overmare insisted that a new song be added to the Stable broadcast�s repertoire each week, that public areas were brightly painted and adored with uplifting and motivational murals, that regular parties were planned in the atrium� all in an effort to distract and stave off depression.

In which the main character imagines something more interesting than the plot, in order to shoehorn in more exposition. Long and unwieldy sentences are the norm.

quote:

Reality came crashing back as I stared at the eternally blank grey. Beautifying maintenance areas was tragically low priority already, and the PipBuck Technician stall was one of the least trafficked parts of maintenance. I felt my ears droop as I started to realize that I�d be staring at this same grey wall nearly every day for the rest of my life.

�Oh dear. Is it really that bad.�

For a chapter so focused on the horrors of boredom and sameiness, the author is remarkably uninterested in making the reader feel any of that. Much better to just say that it was depressing and move on.

quote:

And there she was. Velvet Remedy, the gorgeous charcoal-coated unicorn with streaks of color in her white mane there's a lot of visual detail here and yet it's all flat, like listing someone's hair and eye color when they're introduced and with a voice as smooth as silk and rich as finest chocolate, a voice as nice as two cliches was standing in the doorway of my stall. I felt immediately grateful that I had finished the cleaning and simultaneously ashamed that the room was so beneath her.

I couldn�t believe she was standing there. I�d seen her on the stage above us at late parties; I�d listened to her songs incessantly, recording every new one on my PipBuck so that I didn�t have to wait to hear it again. I�ll admit it now, I�d had a crush on Velvet Remedy for years. Me and at least three hundred other ponies. My mother used to laugh at that. �LittlePip,� she would say, chortling with her friends, harsh �Velvet Remedy�s barn door doesn�t swing that way.� It took me a couple years to understand what my mother had meant by that. And took me several seconds to process that Velvet Remedy had just asked me something. this makes it sound like she both realized that Velvet isn't gay and that Velvet is talking to her at the same time

Conflict so far: -Little Pip hates her job
-Little Pip has a crush on a girl

quote:

�W-wha-huh?�

Wonderful response, LittlePip. So elegant. more of that not-really-funny self-aware garbage I wanted to dig my way through the concrete floor and pull the chunks over the top of me. I wanted to burrow down into the ground and come out the other side in Forks, Washington, because if you replace 'crush on girl' with 'crush on guy' and 'crappy job' with 'crappy town' this is the plot of Twilight.

She smiled sweetly. She smiled at me! And in that amazing voice, which I will not describe �You looked so heartbroken when I came in. Is there anything I can do?�

Velvet Remedy offered. To help. Me. Periods. Make it. More expressive.

I was shocked back to my senses. Velvet Remedy must have some reason to be down here. Some PipBuck reason. It wasn�t like she would just go wandering around maintenance, after all. there'd probably be about 10% less words in this story if they went through and stripped out all the annoying words that do nothing but try to affect a conversational tone Looking around, I realized that I was the only pony on duty. I realized that just now, because I'm dumb My teacher was, as usual, asleep in his office.

�Oh� no, it was n-nothing.� I tried to regain composure. �How may I be of assistance?�

Velvet Remedy�s expression was both compassionate and unconvinced, telling but she lifted a forehoof, raising her PipBuck up to my gaze. A more elegant model than mine, telling with her initials and cutie mark (a beautiful telling bird with wings outstretched and beak opened in song) embellishing it tastefully. telling, also adverbs should be used way more sparingly than this �I hate to be a bother, but it�s begun to chafe. Could you replace the padding?�

�Oh, absolutely!� I was already levitating passive voice, don't want to be too assertive the special keys used to unlock a PipBuck from a pony�s foreleg (as an apprentice PipBuck Technician, I had all manner of parenthetical asides for the sole purpose of boring worldbuilding special precision tools in the pockets of my utility barding). �I�ll have it done in right quick!� The PipBuck came off with a click.

The writing isn't godawful, as in it doesn't feel like it was written by a deranged person like Dozerfleet, it's just boring uninspired technically bland writing.

quote:

Velvet Remedy chuckled hesitantly, lowering her hoof. �Oh no, that�s all right. Take your time. I�m going to put some salve on this leg back in my room and rest up for the afternoon.�

That�s right! Velvet Remedy was performing at the Stable Two Saloon tomorrow night! I would have to polish it up, make it worthy of being worn above her hoof. If I spent all night on it, I could give it a full tune-up, have it running as smoothly as the day she got it, and still have it back to her before the show.

�All right! I�ll have it back to you by this time tomorrow. You won�t be disappointed. I promise!�

She smiled at me again, and all the grey in the world couldn�t darken my day. �Thank you.� And then she turned to go. I watched as her cutie mark disappeared around the doorway. Then she was gone.

Fallout: Equestria is actually just a romcom about the wacky hijinks Little Pip gets into trying to repair her crush's Pip-Boy.

quote:

The next day, I was whistling one of Velvet Remedy�s songs as I walked down the halls towards her room. Her PipBuck was hovering along beside me in a field of magical levitation, freshly padded with the best lining I could find, looking shiny and new. telling I was tired from a long night or lol work, but in high spirits. Velvet Remedy was going to be so happy with my work! Exclamation marks are used to denote how something is said out loud, similar to ellipses. Using them in prose is iffy at best, tacky and jarring at worst.

Turning the corner, I was startled out of my reverie she's got a lot of reveries, folks by the mass of ponies gathered outside Velvet Remedy�s room. drat, I was going to have to battle my way through hoof-print seekers and paparazzi. Okay, I know there are hundreds of ponies in this vault, but really, you live with about a thousand people your whole life, and you still have crazy weird celebrity worship? Levitating the PipBuck higher, I started to shove my way into the crowd.

�She�s gone!� �How could she leave?� The hushed voices and panicked whinnies around me grew alarming. �Why would she abandon us?�

Gone? Velvet Remedy was� gone?

And then the words that stopped me cold. �I didn�t think the Stable door even could open!�

She was gone outside?!?

I would complain about "we could have left this whole time" but Fallout 3 pulled that. Fallout: Equestria, ripping off the dumb story beats of the Fallout with the worst story.

quote:

�Don�t worry, everypony!� boomed the voice of the Overmare from somewhere in the crowd. �I have the tag what does this even mean of each and every pony in the Stable. I will personally send out a rescue party. We�ll have our Velvet back by the end of the day. Worry not.�

I felt I was drowning in cold, wet cement. This is the second 'cement' metaphor in this chapter and if it was written better I'd say it was on purpose to show how boring this main character is. My gaze slowly moved up towards god forbid you say 'i looked at' the PipBuck floating above me.

I lowered my head, slowly trying to back out of the crowd, curling the floating PipBuck close. When the Overmare brought up Velvet Remedy�s tag, it would lead everypony not to Velvet but to her PipBuck sitting in the maintenance� Oh, that's what that means. I don't know if there's worse ways to phrase that.

With a thump, I backed into somepony, startling me enough that the levitation field evaporated in a poof and the clean and shiny did I mention yet that it was clean and shiny and pretty and I'd just cleaned it PipBuck clattered to the floor.

Turning, I found myself eye-to-eye with the Overmare.

She didn�t speak, her gaze turning to the PipBuck on the ground. Velvet Remedy�s initials and cutie mark clearly visible. SENTENCE FRAGMENT

�What. Is. This?� Periods. Again. For drama. The Overmare spoke slowly, dangerously.

All eyes turned to me. I could feel every pair of eyes. Nobody spoke. I could feel every pair of closed lips. The silence bore down like a lead blanket. My mouth went dry. I couldn�t find my voice.

I didn�t need to. I could feel the wave of loathing. Dozens of Velvet Remedy fanponies, and I was the pony holding the reason why their idol was lost to them. Again this seems kind of ridiculous, portraying it as a celebrity/fan relationship instead of as a community. It makes it seem like the author doesn't know how a community feels.

The Overmare�s voice was low and surprisingly gentle. �Take it and go to your room. Swiftly.�

She didn�t need to tell me twice.

Conflict so far: -Little Pip doesn't like her job
-Little Pip's unrequited crush is now missing and it's her fault they can't track her

quote:

I lay laid is when you lie down, lay is when you set something down on my bed that evening, poking at Velvet Remedy�s PipBuck as the radio in my own played yet another re-iteration of the tragedy of the day.

I couldn�t believe it. Velvet Remedy was gone. I couldn�t understand. How could she leave? Why would she go?

The door out of Stable Two was closed and sealed. Only the Overmare knew the secrets to opening it, except that's wrong but okay assuming it even could open. Which, obviously, it could.

But why? Nobody really knew what was outside, if there was anything out there at all. Historical books suggested the world outside was blasted, lifeless and poisonous. That was, at least, the common and logical assumption. But a ghost story somepony told at my first (and only) slumber party had given me horrible nightmares and still lurked in the shadows of my head: a tale of a pony who somehow got the Stable door open and stepped outside� only to find out that there was no outside! Just a great nothingness that whisked the pony away, devouring her soul so that she was nothingness too. Man I'm gonna be chuffed if this is just a big setup for the exact same thing as the Fallout 3 intro

Empirically, I knew that wasn�t the case, but the mental image still haunted me.

The two things I did understand was that Velvet Remedy had gotten me to remove her PipBuck so the Overmare couldn�t track her with it, and that I was screwed.

Being the smallest pony my age, and the last to get my cutie mark, did not facilitate building friendships with my peer ponies. Mother honestly didn�t help either. Nor did waking up screaming at my first slumber party. Being an outsider is sympathetic, right guys? So I was used to being alone. But I�d never had enemies before. I�d been beneath the notice of other ponies, but I�d never had one hate me. I, Bland Pony, never had a defining trait before.

I really couldn�t blame them either, even though it totally wasn�t fair. They were upset and hurt and needed a scapegoat. The news hadn�t mentioned me by name, just �Velvet Remedy�s custom-decorated PipBuck was found in the possession of a PipBuck Technician pony�, but with a whole two of us, it wasn�t hard for everypony to figure out, even without the scene outside her room earlier.

The Overmare was speaking on the radio. �We are all feeling this loss. But I want to remind everypony that Velvet Remedy chose to do this. She chose to leave her home. To abandon us, her family. She betrayed my trust and she betrayed yours, just as she betrayed the trust of the pony who she tricked into removing her PipBuck, ensuring we could not find her. I know many of you are angry or hurt. I urge you to direct that anger where it truly belongs��

As thankful as I was for her words, it wasn�t going to change the resentment that I would face every day, even if every pony kept it to themselves. It hung in the air like old smoke. This thing that happened today was like something old already.

I distracted myself with the errant don't think that's what errant means PipBuck, taking note of an encrypted file. I had spotted it yesterday, figuring it was probably an unfinished new song. I didn�t want to open it then, both out of respect for Velvet Remedy�s privacy and a dislike of spoilers, but I guessed it didn�t matter anymore. The song would never be played.

Opening a pouch on my utility barding, I withdrew an access tool that would allow me to remove the encryption safely and easily. The screwdriver that undoes encryption, yes. It was a sound file. I played it.

�The override code for opening the door to Stable Two is� CMC3BFF.�

I shot up in surprise at what I had heard. Swiftly, I turned off the radio and played it again.

I didn�t recognize the voice. It was female, kinda sweet, and had a strange accent that didn�t sound like anyone in the Stable. Good thing you didn't do any showing or I might have been able to imagine what that voice sounded like. But now I knew how Velvet Remedy left.

I must have sat there for hours, contemplating what I should do. But finally, I made my choice.

I was going to go outside after her. I was going to bring her back.

A scene break goes here.

quote:

I stood there, staring at the huge steel door that sealed Stable Two away from the horrors (or nothingness!) outside. And at the two guard ponies who blocked my way. I had my saddlebags packed with apples and necessities. Even a Big Book of Arcane Sciences for something to read. I had two canteens around my neck. I was ready to go. But the Overmare was making sure there were no follow-up acts. follow up act is a dumb phrase

Insistence and glowering looks weren�t getting me anywhere. thank god you didn't show any of this My horn was glowing, but they stood their ground, unimpressed. They weren�t going to let me anywhere near the control panel.

�Hey, aren�t you the filly who let our Velvet get lost outside anyway?� one of the guards inquired daringly, that is a hella ridiculous said bookism taking a bullying step forward. the step was bullying?? The other guard looked away in disgust. I�m not sure if he was disgusted at me, or if he felt like the Overmare seemed to about ponies wanting to take it out on me. I couldn't tell what this sentence was trying to say when I first read it and I don't care enough to read it again. I was kinda hoping it was the former, considering what I was about to do to them.

THUD!

The metal footlocker above them dropped onto their heads, knocking both out cold. Earth ponies -- they never see that levitating-something-up-behind-you trick coming. Those are some terrible guards.

I was at yep, don't show us any action, just jump between things already having happened the controls, entering the passcode from Velvet Remedy�s PipBuck when the Overmare�s voice boomed through nearby speakers. This whole line is an unwieldy sentence.

�Stop! I order you to stop this instant!�

Yeah, that wasn�t going to happen.

�Guards! I want every guard pony at Stable Two door! Stop that filly!�

Oh crap! oh man i never expected THIS would happen

My hooves flew up to the main switch for the door, and I prayed to Celestia that the code worked. Then, with all my strength, I threw the switch.

A loud clanging filled the air, followed by a hissing of steam and a great rumble that shook the room. As I watched, the massive bolt that held the door from Stable Two shut slid back. A huge hinge-arm swung down, attaching itself to the door, and with a teeth-hurting squeal, pulled the massive steel door out and away.

Randomly, I found myself thinking in my mother�s voice �Stable Two�s barn door doesn�t swing that way.� This is maybe meaningful?? spoilers: it's not, it is, as it says, 'random'. The door to Stable Two wasn�t supposed to swing at all. Even though I threw the switch, I was stunned to see it actually open.

�You don�t have to do this� LittlePip, isn�t it?� The Overmare�s voice kicked me out of my stupor. I could hear the hooves of galloping guards drawing near.

Again it comes up, that weird disregard for the fact that they've all seen a couple hundred ponies all their lives and they're lived in close quarters with them constantly. Why is everyone such a stranger to everyone else?

quote:

I took a step towards the door. �Don�t worry. I�ll bring her back.�

�No you won�t! If you leave here, you�ll never be let back in!� ??? why

For a moment, the unfairness stung. The Overmare was willing to send out a search party to bring Velvet Remedy back. But then, Velvet was special, and I was� not.

Part of me wanted to turn back right there, crawl back to my room and my dreary but safe life.

Drawing myself up, I stepped out the door.

*** *** ***

With a final hiss and clang, the steel door of Stable Two closed irrevocability lol behind me.

I don�t know what I expected to find just beyond the door, but it certainly wasn�t this long, dark hallway that smelled of rotting timbers and sepulcher air. I was no longer in the Stable. But I wasn�t outside yet either. I was in limbo.

I turned on my PipBuck�s light, and recoiled with a gasp at the skeletons of long-dead ponies which littered the hall. The outside of the Stable door was marred from where ponies had slammed on it until their hooves cracked and shattered, trying to get in.

Moving forward quickly, I discovered that the hallway opened into an old room with stairs leading up to a horizontal door with a shattered lock. The entrance from the outside world into Stable Two had been cleverly disguised as the door to a humble apple cellar. And by disguised, I meant that the person who built it had been building an apple cellar. what does this even mean

Taking a deep breath, I trotted up the stairs, swung open the cellar door, and stepped outside.

Footnote: Level Up.

New Perk: Cherchez La Filly -- +10% damage to the same sex and unique dialogue options with certain ponies.

So there you go. Like I said somewhere way back earlier, it's not crazyperson writing. It's even a step up from some TV Tropes writing which just regurgitates lines from TV shows they remember. But it is definitely not good. At best it's boring, amateurish, long-winded and devoid of any emotion because the author doesn't know how to show instead of tell.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 21:13

Gimnbo: Feb 13, 2012; e m b r a c e t r a n q u i l i t y

Djeser posted:

some poo poo

The voice I have in my head for the narration is definitely a low mumble, probably staring at her feet.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 21:40

Build Your Own Boat: Sep 11, 2006; Drink this

Now you're like me.

Djeser posted:

PipBuck

This really bothers me. Like, way more than it should.

I know next to nothing about brony terminology, so is "buck" a thing in My Little Pony? I know that there is all sorts of half-rear end word replacement ("everypony" and what-not). I do know that "bucking" is when a horse kicks both its hind legs, but I don't think that's what this guy was thinking. Since vaults are stables and rooms are stalls, I'm guessing this is a simple case of "change [human]thing to [horse]thing."

So naturally they replace "boy" with "buck".

But bucks are adults. And they kinda aren't horses. They're deer. Deer usually aren't horses.

So this imbecile took the effort to write a half million word novel and in the, no doubt, countless times he uses the phrase "PipBuck" he never once thought, "Wait a minute...Deer aren't horses."

And how jaded have I become that out of all that poo poo-writing the thing that bothers me most is this. What the gently caress is wrong with me.

Build Your Own Boat fucked around with this message at 22:07 on Oct 18, 2014

# ? Oct 18, 2014 22:01

Calaveron: Aug 7, 2006

Build Your Own Boat posted:

This really bothers me. Like, way more than it should.

I know next to nothing about brony terminology, so is "buck" a thing in My Little Pony? I know that there is all sorts of half-rear end word replacement ("everypony" and what-not). I do know that "bucking" is when a horse kicks both its hind legs, but I don't think that's what this guy was thinking. Since vaults are stables and rooms are stalls, I'm guessing this is a simple case of "change [human]thing to [horse]thing."

So naturally they replace "boy" with "buck".

But bucks are adults. And they kinda aren't horses. They're deer. Deer usually aren't horses.

So this imbecile took the effort to write a half million word novel and in the, no doubt, countless times he uses the phrase "PipBuck" he never once thought, "Wait a minute...Deer aren't horses."

And how jaded have I become that out of all that poo poo-writing the thing that bothers me most is this. What the gently caress is wrong with me.

This is the fifth iteration of this very same thread that you (and me and many others) have been following closely and you ask yourself this just now.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 22:35

Chromius: Aug 5, 2014; Stays shiny, even in milk.

Every page of TvTropes has a pony or pony fanfic entry on it. It's kind of unreal.

# ? Oct 18, 2014 23:24

BlueDude: Aug 7, 2014

Chromius posted:

Every page of TvTropes has a pony or pony fanfic entry on it. It's kind of unreal.

I looked at False Rape Accusation and "Not If They Enjoyed It" Rationalization to see if it was true. Thankfully, there weren't any pony fanfic entries there!... but there were fanfic entries.

False Rape Accusation: Fan Works posted:

In the Emergency! fic "The Long Road back", a woman with a history of such claims does this to John Gage. They are seen fighting, but it is realized he was trying to push her away as she nearly raped him in a sense. her previous victims resigned, went to jail or committed suicide, but she gets so obsessed with John that she kidnaps him and he later finds the courage to testify so she'll go to jail.

"Not If They Enjoyed It" Rationalization: Fan Works posted:

* Sort of experienced by George in With Strings Attached, when Fi'ar doses him with Lust Dust and he leaps on her. Later, safely away from her and her vengeful mother, he decides she effectively raped him, except he remembers the brief experience as enjoyable, which annoys him. Ultimately he decides he has more important things to worry about.
* In Fever Dreams Misa seems to think so when she assaults Light in front of his mother and sister.

(By the way, "George" is George Harrison. It's a fanfic about the Beatles getting transported to a magical realm or some poo poo - and it's really long.)

Also: I rather like the F:E riff. If you can get through it all someone might make it into a Scribd document like MCAC or KIKEN!

# ? Oct 19, 2014 01:03

Cygna: Mar 6, 2009; The ghost of a god is no man.

BlueDude posted:

Also: I rather like the F:E riff. If you can get through it all someone might make it into a Scribd document like MCAC or KIKEN!

There's no way anyone here is getting through a full reading. As soon as the rape scenes start popping up it's going to become awkward as hell to sit through, and then somebody is going to start reading and enjoying it unironically (probably that goon who defended pony fanfiction before), and then the thread will be gassed again. Staring into the abyss, etc etc.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 04:50

Sham bam bamina!: Nov 6, 2012; ƨtupid cat

Ratspeaker posted:

There's no way anyone here is getting through a full reading. As soon as the rape scenes start popping up it's going to become awkward as hell to sit through, and then somebody is going to start reading and enjoying it unironically (probably that goon who defended pony fanfiction before), and then the thread will be gassed again. Staring into the abyss, etc etc.

Yeah, that's the reason. Not that it's longer than the collected works of Lev Tolstoy.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 05:16

x1o: Aug 5, 2005; My focus is UNPARALLELED!

Chromius posted:

Every page of TvTropes has a pony or pony fanfic entry on it. It's kind of unreal.

If you find a page that doesn't have any fanfic examples, then you've discovered the most neglected page on TV Tropes.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 06:59

MinistryofLard: Mar 22, 2013; Goblin babies did nothing wrong.

Let me tell y'all about Wild Mass Guessing.

Wild Mass Guessing (or WMG), is TVTropes subpage category for fan theories and hypotheses. Stuff like "Ash from Pokemon is actually in a coma" or "007 and James Bond is actually a code name that various agents are given" etc. etc. As an "academic resource" and totally not a fansite, TV Tropes would naturally have pages for this.

Except they have loving pages and pages of it. For individual works. And to make matters worse, they're inevitably almost all stupid crossovers or dumb jokes. Literally everybody is a time lord. Or Haruhi Suziwhatever. Everything takes place in the same universe based on the presence of two words that sound similar.

Here is a skimread selection from the page for Skyrim (picked because its popular and because I've been playing a lot of skyrim recently).

quote:

the civil war is world war 2

Ulfric is Hitler, White-Gold Concordat is the Treaty of Versailles, the Empire is Russia

Really? I always saw Ulfric like a combination of William Wallace and Engelbrekt Engelbrektsson and the Empire as the Wilhelmine Empire.
Alternatively, the Empire is the Weimar Republic fresh off World War I. This makes the Nazi-Stormcloak parallels more noticeable in terms of historical formation.
Blaming a whole race of people for losing the war, despite being half or more of the army.
Having a terrible understanding of what it means to have continuity with previous Empires or Reichs. Although in this case, the Stormcloaks believe that the Empire is somehow not Nordic, while the Nazis believed that the German Empire was somehow the successor of the Holy Roman Empire.
Relying primarily on racial supremacism, white pride, and an ideal of barbaric strength that never actually applied to their people.
No they're actually relying on the fact that the Empire is an incompetent, corrupt institution.
Claiming to be good for a specific religion, but being rather contrary to the way that the religious figure actually lived.
You mean fighting against Elves and destroying your other general enemies? Talos is a war-god for a reason. The way the Stormcloaks pursue their agenda is perfectly in tune with how he acted.
Killing a lot of their own people, just to remove "undesirables" who are making the rest of them weak. Even though their efforts might be better spent on killing their stated enemies more effectively. And the people who are being killed systematically would be considered a credit to their society in history. For the Stormcloaks, it is Imperials, elves who support the Empire and oppose the Aldmeri Dominion, and Empire-supporting Nords like Legate Rikke and Brunwulf Free-Winter who actually fought in the war. For the Nazis, it was Jews (who were actually friends of the German people in the past), Communists (founded by all Germans), anyone who actually fought in the war and told the truth about it (like Erich Maria Remarque), etc.
Sorry, what? The Stormcloaks are not eugenists. Both the Stormcloak army and the Legion have a lot of Great War veterans in their ranks (Ulfric himself is one). Rikke is a military commander on the other side of the war, and they don't appear to have anything against Brunwulf, who happily continues to live his previous existence after a Stormcloak victory. Frankly, I think it would have been better writing if the Stormcloaks had been more xenophobic, their supposed racism is very much an Informed Attribute in-game.
That seems more likely. But how did the OP get it into his head that the Empire could possibly be Russia? They're the foreign power trying to take over an nation famed for poor weather and obstinate people.
The Empire is not a foreign power. The Empire is a profoundly Nordic institution from its very founding.
No it isn't. For one thing, it had only one pure-blooded Nordic ruler, who got his start serving as a general for a Breton king. The incredible level of Cultural Posturing Imperials have been laying on the Nords since at least Morrowind is further proof that Cyrodiil's is all too prone to biting the hand that feeds it.
Or, rather, the pro-Imperial and pro-Stormcloak Nords disagree on whether the Empire had kept enough of its Nordic character.
Kind of unrelated, but the fact that Ulfric has been compared to both Adolf Hitler and William Wallace just goes to show what an awesome job Bethesda did of making a complex, realistic character.
Yes, Ulfric is indeed quite awesome.
Thanks for accusing everyone who likes the Stormcloaks of being a Nazi, OP!
The parallels are still there and still obvious.
Only if you're biased towards the Empire.
Sorry but this is one hell of a stretch. Their supposed "Racial Purity!" thing in game mostly amounts to bitching about the Dark Elves and keeping the Argonians and Khajitt out of their cities unless they prove themselves valuable. The Nords really do have all the "barbarous strength" their ancestors had, they understand their past connection to the Empire perfectly well etc. The fact that an Altmer can walk right up to Ulfric and all you have to say to join their army and get treated like any Nord by Ulfric and his soldiers is "I live here too buddy" is pretty solid evidence that he isn't Hitler. A closer analogy might be the American revolution with tweaks. The Civil War started because the great empire Skyrimerica was a part of fought a massive war with a foreign power with many of the citizens of Skyrimerica fighting in it personally and feeling betrayed when they saw their freedoms restricted at the end of said war which they had proudly served in. So the guys wearing blue rebel against the guys wearing red and with a mix of Guerilla tactics and straight up field battles they start pushing them out. They also receive aid (though in Skyrim this is very secret) from the foreign power they had fought against as a means for said foreign power to spite and try to drain their old enemy. The country is split, the shot that started it all is grey and heavily disputed and there are Hollywood Native Americans running around shooting people with stone arrows and killing them with primitive axes and getting massacred by the white people who see no hypocrisy there because they think of them as mindless savages. Clearly Ulfric Stormcloak is Viking George Washington.
On a somewhat similar note, Ulfric defeating the Forsworn calls some parallels to the Saxons defending the Celts from the invasions of the Caledonians under Hengist and Horsa, during the period of Sub-Roman Britain.
It is interesting that the Stormcloaks and Thalmor BOTH resemble the Nazi party. I consider the Stormcloaks to be the "Beer Hall Putsch" Nazis; back before the party gained power: Wildly nationalistic and arrogantly proud, but their animosity towards other races has not grown to active aggression. The Thalmor are "Kristalnacht" Nazis, after they gained power and started practicing open violence against the lesser races. Justiciars are marching about Skyrim in an appearance and demeanor almost identical to the Einsatzgruppen. Just mouthing off at them gives them the authority to kill you with absolutely no questions asked. They are killing squads tasked with interring and executing those who follow a specific faith. They both display sentiments comparable to 20th century faschism, but the Stormcloaks are reactionary and paranoid while the Thalmor are active and totalitarian; two sides of the same coin. That being said, I prefer the company of Stormcloaks, because their soldiers are more likely to just insult me than tie me up and execute me in an open ditch.

The politics of a fictional civil war is serious business guys.

Also, what is imagery? What is allegory? There is only one-to-one correspondence and that is it.

quote:

Borkul the Beast's last charge wasn't lollygagging

It was loli-gagging.

gently caress you.

quote:

Skyrim is a Prequel to How to Train Your Dragon

Both involve a land inhabited by a viking-like people who are terrorized by dragons, which sets the stage for how the plot in the latter got started in the first place. The dragon that we see in the trailer bears some similarities to the Monstrous Nightmare (especially in using its wings as forelimbs while on the ground). And it explains just what the Red Death is and what it was doing: it's Alduin, recovering from His defeat in Skyrim and gathering strength to make His return.

Well you see they both have dragons in them and furthermore

quote:

The Thalmor are controlling the adventurer population via a secret organization

Said organization is a crack squad of marksmen, who single out aspiring adventurers, wait for the perfect moment to ambush them, and then let fly a devastating barrage of arrows. At their knees.

You know, this is surprisingly plausible, as far as fantasy goes. Imagine a military unit dedicated to crippling countless people for life. That's terrifying! You'd think twice about double-crossing these soldiers' masters. Machiavelli must've been a mer.
It also explains why the guards are so tough. Before their injuries restricted them to their posts, they used to be adventurers just like you. The only difference is, they were MORE experienced.

More of joke = better joke

quote:

Ulfric Stormcloak is based on Sonata Arctica singer Tony Kakko.

His near obsession with song and Romanticism may not just be a character quirk. Finnish power metal band Sonata Arctica is pretty popular among gamers and fantasy fans in general. It wouldn't be much of a stretch to think that some Bethesda employees are fans as well. It makes sense, given the game's icy Scandinavian theme. Oh, and they're nearly identical, so there's that too.

Presented without comment.

quote:

The Fall of the Space Core mod is canon, and Tamriel is going to face an invasion from The Combine.

The Space Core landing in Skyrim is a canon mod, and it shows that The Elder Scrolls takes place in the same multiverse as Portal, and therefore, Half Life. It is likely that the Combine would see an overall gain in conquering and colonizing Tamriel, then all of Nirn. However, considering the presence of many forms of magic in Tamriel, the people of Skyrim will be able to repel the Combine before the entire armada can arrive.

Jesus christ.

quote:

Skyrim's other DLC will involve the Dwemer, in a BIG way

Skyrim is the first game in which Dwarven Ruins and technology was crucial to the main plot. It seems as time goes on more about the Dwemer have been revealed.

They established Hammerfell.
They were unbelievably advanced.
The manner of the disappearance (Ala, Arniels Endeavor).
This entire time, they've been hoarding an Elder Scroll

Since every sequel is hinted during gameplay, whos to say that next time the Dwemer won't reappear? Maybe this time as an army of gods.

The main flaw with this theory is that it starts with an inaccurate assumption: Dwemer ruins and technology where extremely important in the main plot of Morrowind. Remember, the Ash Vampires you are most likely to meet are in Dwemer ruins, Dagoth Ur himself is in a Dwemer ruin, Akulakhan was a derivative of Dwemer technology, Sunder, Keening and Wraithguard were all three Dwemer artifacts (and of course the Tribunal and Dagoth Ur got their divinity by modifying Kagrenac's plan)...
Well excuse me for not having the patience to fully explore the storyline of Morrowind sir!
So, you say that you've never played Morrowind before, but you claim to know that the Dwarves have had more and more involvement? Explain to me again how you classify as an Elder Scrolls fan?
Not having the patience to fully explore the storyline of Morrowind is perfectly acceptable (indeed, if one does not pay attention Akulakhan's very name, let alone what it is, can be missed, as can the fact that Kagrenac's Tools is Kagrenac's Tools). However, it does not take fully exploring the storyline to know that Dwemer ruins are crucial to Morrowind's main plot, just playing through it at all would do that � and there is the fact that you have to meet the Last Dwarf. Leaving all this said, it is nonetheless entirely possible that the Dwemer will be involved in a big way with another of Skyrim's downloadable content. They do have quite a presence in Skyrim for a race that is long gone, and Morrowind did get an expansion pack where Dwemer ruins and Dwemer technology played a key role...

Only posting this poo poo for context for the "No true elder scrolls fan" quote. Like jesus loving christ. Unironically questioning people's fandom credentials.

There are pages of this, and even more for the other Elder Scrolls games and for the whole series itself. Why? I like Skyrim, and I think there's bits of it that are legitimately clever when you think about it and stuff like that. But for fucks sake, none of these are funny, or interesting, or even intelligent? What do you get out of this dumb game of fan one-up-manship? Whats the point?

Yes, I know. The answer to that question is :spergin:

# ? Oct 19, 2014 07:01

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

BlueDude posted:

Also: I rather like the F:E riff. If you can get through it all someone might make it into a Scribd document like MCAC or KIKEN!

What I read was about 4,000 words, which is an acceptable length for a short story. About 40,000 words is a short novel.

Fallout: Equestria is a 600,000 word story. That's twelve novel-length books.

There's a single chapter that's 50,000 words long.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 07:44

Regalingualius: Jan 7, 2012; We gazed into the eyes of madness... And all we found was horny.

And it's all for a bunch of crossover fanfic garbage. :stonklol:

Is it really all one guy? I mean, even assuming (probably correctly) that he just pushes them out the moment he's done, without even bothering to proofread... That is one hell of a lot of words for one human being to write in their lives.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 08:22

Djeser: Mar 22, 2013; it's crow time again

Yes, that's all written by one person. There are hundreds of fanfics written by OTHER people about Fallout: Equestria.

The Fallout: Equestria wiki says it's one of the longest works of 'derivative fiction'.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 08:48

Ninjasaurus: Feb 11, 2014; This is indeed a disturbing universe.

Djeser posted:

What I read was about 4,000 words, which is an acceptable length for a short story. About 40,000 words is a short novel.

Fallout: Equestria is a 600,000 word story. That's twelve novel-length books.

There's a single chapter that's 50,000 words long.

Djeser posted:

Yes, that's all written by one person. There are hundreds of fanfics written by OTHER people about Fallout: Equestria.

The Fallout: Equestria wiki says it's one of the longest works of 'derivative fiction'.

Hooooooooooooooooooly fuckin' Moses

This is as bad as all the pedo pandering discussed earlier, except in a differently disturbing way. :stare:

# ? Oct 19, 2014 08:54

RaspberryCommie: May 3, 2008; Stop! My penis can only get so erect.

Djeser posted:

Yes, that's all written by one person. There are hundreds of fanfics written by OTHER people about Fallout: Equestria.

The Fallout: Equestria wiki says it's one of the longest works of 'derivative fiction'.

Well, I'm sure it is derivative. Just not in the way they want it to be.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 09:39

x1o: Aug 5, 2005; My focus is UNPARALLELED!

Regalingualius posted:

Is it really all one guy? I mean, even assuming (probably correctly) that he just pushes them out the moment he's done, without even bothering to proofread... That is one hell of a lot of words for one human being to write in their lives.

600,000 words? That's nothing, there are several fanfics over 1.2 million words and counting. Last I checked, the record is 3.9 million for some Super Smash Bro's fic, which is discussed here

# ? Oct 19, 2014 12:27

Build Your Own Boat: Sep 11, 2006; Drink this

Now you're like me.

TheHeadSage posted:

600,000 words? That's nothing, there are several fanfics over 1.2 million words and counting. Last I checked, the record is 3.9 million for some Super Smash Bro's fic, which is discussed here

quote:

The author himself confesses that English is only a second language and that his love of reading mostly extends to other fan fictions (giving him only a small pool of literary diversity).

Sweet baby Jesus...

You'd kill yourself from the attrition. I'm not joking. That thing would literally kill you.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 14:06

ungulateman: Apr 18, 2012; pretentious fuckwit who isn't half as literate or insightful or clever as he thinks he is

Ratspeaker posted:

There's no way anyone here is getting through a full reading. As soon as the rape scenes start popping up it's going to become awkward as hell to sit through, and then somebody is going to start reading and enjoying it unironically (probably that goon who defended pony fanfiction before), and then the thread will be gassed again. Staring into the abyss, etc etc.

Nah, even I hate Fallout: Equestria with a burning passion. My standards are incredibly low, but not that low.

I agree that talking about it sounds like a terrible idea, though. I'm pretty sure they gassed PYF Brony specifically because people spent all their time talking about poo poo like it.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 14:06

Stottie Kyek: Apr 26, 2008; fuckin egg in a bun

I just don't understand why someone would invest that much time and effort in a fanfiction. If you're capable of sitting down and writing 600,000 words of a story (not necessarily a good story, but it's a story), why not make your own characters and setting? The Fallout setting could be replaced with any dystopian wasteland sort of place, and the My Little Pony characters are pretty standard archetypes (and AFAIK the story's all about 'original fan characters' anyway) so they could be new characters.
Or the fanfic writers could get together with one of the many tropers who come up with characters and a setting but can't be arsed writing the story; take their worldbuilding and sperging and write the story. It might even be a fun challenge for Creative Convention, to turn the tropers' ideas into something good.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 14:37

Screaming Idiot: Nov 26, 2007; JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Stottie Kyek posted:

It might even be a fun challenge for Creative Convention, to turn the tropers' ideas into something good.

Don't even try it, that way leads madness. Burn the ideas, salt the earth, never look back.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 17:54

Annointed: Mar 2, 2013

Screaming Idiot posted:

Don't even try it, that way leads madness. Burn the ideas, salt the earth, never look back.

But everyone did that for Malatora. And those stories were effective in creating a dystopian hellhole with insane overlords. I think there may be potential in alchemizing the turds.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 18:12

sweeperbravo: May 18, 2012; AUNT GWEN'S COLD SHAPE (!)

Annointed posted:

But everyone did that for Malatora. And those stories were effective in creating a dystopian hellhole with insane overlords. I think there may be potential in alchemizing the turds.

No. Literally sit on the toilet and make an actual turd instead.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 18:14

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# ? May 26, 2024 00:43

Screaming Idiot: Nov 26, 2007; JUST POSTING WHILE JERKIN' MY GHERKIN SITTIN' IN A PERKINS!

BEATS SELLING MERKINS.

Look, I have nothing but faith in the ability for goons to come up with their own terrible ideas without ripping off a bunch of rape-obsessed pedophiles.

# ? Oct 19, 2014 18:15

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