- sharktamer
- Oct 30, 2011
-
Shark tamer ridiculous
|
Apparently "whilst" is used in the UK and isn't seen as pretentious.
No it isn't and yes it is.
Besides, that hilarious prank would fail the second the friend was handed the overly heavy popcorn bag.
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2014 17:36
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2024 21:07
|
|
- Trebek
- Mar 7, 2002
-
-
College Slice
|
imgur posted:
I work at an independent coffee shop in a ritzy neighborhood, uptown. Beautiful older women comes in and orders a double latte from me. I make her latte, take her money and say, "Does anyone ever tell you that you look like Hellen Mirren?" To which she replies, "I am Hellen Mirren."
UPDATE: Miss Mirren came back in today. I made her her drink, took her money, and said, "So i think I made a fool of myself yesterday, when I told you that you look like you." To which she laughed and replied, "At least you didn't tell me I look like Kevin Costner!" #NoOffenseKevin
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2014 19:39
|
|
- PUGGERNAUT
- Nov 14, 2013
-
I AM INCREDIBLY BORING AND SHOULD STOP TALKING ABOUT FOOD IN THE POLITICS THREAD
|
The misspelling of Helen bothers me the most.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2014 20:32
|
|
- Trebek
- Mar 7, 2002
-
-
College Slice
|
The misspelling of Helen bothers me the most.
Only about 10k upvotes. So faith in humanity confirmed.
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2014 21:00
|
|
- ilysespieces
- Oct 5, 2009
-
When life becomes too painful, sometimes it's better to just become a drunk.
|
Holy poo poo. Do not play at night.
I played on my lunch break at work and a coworker stepped up behind me to ask me something and I may or may not have jumped out of my chair (I did. I'm a baby and get easily startled). poo poo's creepy and I got 3 endings before I had to stop [and get back to work].
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2014 21:47
|
|
- Tunicate
- May 15, 2012
-
|
quote:Sorry to interrupt, but this story's code has got itself in a mess (SecurityError: The operation is insecure.).
ou may be able to continue playing, but some parts may not work properly.
Anyway, some NAW
quote:Game and Hobby store
Arizona
(I worked as cashier at a store that sold card and board games, model kits, action figures, and other nerdy items, as well as drinks and snacks. The store’s owner would usually stay in the back doing paperwork, when he was there at all.) (The store has a separate room where games can be played, and it is frequented by customers who often hang out there for several hours a day to play games with other customers. The room would also be used as a meeting place for various nerdy fandoms. The room served as a draw for people to hang out at the store and buy things. For years, every Wednesday and Saturday night, a large group of “Furry” fans would frequent the store wearing animal costumes, or often just ears or tails. They would hang out in the separate room, and while they were often noisy, they would rarely cause problems in the store. This takes place on a Wednesday night, and the store is full of people from the furry fandom.)
Owner: “Those F****** furries are here again! Get them out of my store!”
Me: “They are allowed to be there, and they’re following all the rules. They’re not causing problems.”
Owner: “These freaks are scaring away real customers! I’m tired of dealing with them. I don’t want them here again.”
Me: “They buy snacks and cards every Wednesday and Saturday, and nobody has complained about them.”
Owner: “I don’t care, I’ve never seen them buy squat! I want them gone!”
(Eventually, the owner goes to the other room and makes an announcement that the furry gatherings are no longer allowed in the store. Dejected, the furries leave, and do not return that Saturday.)
Owner: “Finally! Now maybe we can get some real business!”
(As it turned out, the purchases made by the furry group were a huge chunk of the store’s income, and several members of the furry group were some of the store’s best customers. Angry that they had been kicked out, the rejected furries spoke to their friends in some of the other groups that met at the store, and those groups stopped coming as well. Within a few months the store had gone under, and I had to find a new job.) Tunicate has a new favorite as of 02:14 on Oct 17, 2014
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2014 21:49
|
|
- Wild T
- Dec 15, 2008
-
The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.
|
Far too spooky for me.
Anyway, some NAW
The funniest part is some random worker bee telling the store owner that he can't kick (loud, disruptive and annoying) people out of his own store.
|
|
#
?
Oct 17, 2014 15:41
|
|
- turnways
- Jun 22, 2004
-
|
I unlocked the true form of the uncle, and it's glorious, it's who I wanted it to be all along.
Shrek is love, Shrek is life.
For real though the actual, true ending is hilarious
The uncle is GAMES ITSELF, the whole thing's some kind of art-piece on how gaming is a terrible addiction and also can be overcome by destroying gaming forever, or something.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2014 08:15
|
|
- Pththya-lyi
- Nov 8, 2009
-
THUNDERDOME LOSER 2020
|
For real though the actual, true ending is hilarious
The uncle is GAMES ITSELF, the whole thing's some kind of art-piece on how gaming is a terrible addiction and also can be overcome by destroying gaming forever, or something.
I thought the uncle is supposed to be gaming culture, with its emphasis on status and "exclusive access" and junk like that. You're able to save your friend from the uncle by showing that your love for them is stronger than the toxic culture they've become a part of.
EDIT: It all makes a lot more sense if you give your best friend a girl's name.
Pththya-lyi has a new favorite as of 10:59 on Oct 18, 2014
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2014 10:17
|
|
- RFC2324
- Jun 7, 2012
-
http 418
|
This just came up on my FB. Nice story, but 
quote:
My lead flight attendant came to me and said, "We have an H.R. on this flight." (H.R. stands for human remains.)
"Are they military?" I asked.
'Yes', she said.
'Is there an escort?' I asked.
'Yes, I've already assigned him a seat'.
'Would you please tell him to come to the Flight Deck. You can board him early," I said...
A short while later a young army sergeant entered the flight deck. He was the image of the perfectly dressed soldier. He introduced himself and I asked him about his soldier.
The escorts of these fallen soldiers talk about them as if they are still alive and still with us. 'My soldier is on his way back to Virginia ,' he said. He proceeded to answer my questions, but offered no words.
I asked him if there was anything I could do for him and he said no. I told him that he had the toughest job in the military, and that I appreciated the work that he does for the families of our fallen soldiers. The first officer and I got up out of our seats to shake his hand. He left the Flight Deck to find his seat.
We completed our preflight checks, pushed back and performed an uneventful departure. About 30 minutes into our flight, I received a call from the lead flight attendant in the cabin.
'I just found out the family of the soldier we are carrying, is also on board', she said. She then proceeded to tell me that the father, mother, wife and 2-year old daughter were escorting their son, husband, and father home. The family was upset because they were unable to see the container that the soldier was in before we left.
We were on our way to a major hub at which the family was going to wait four hours for the connecting flight home to Virginia . The father of the soldier told the flight attendant that knowing his son was below him in the cargo compartment and being unable to see him was too much for him and the family to bear. He had asked the flight attendant if there was anything that could be done to allow them to see him upon our arrival. The family wanted to be outside by the cargo door to watch the soldier being taken off the airplane.
I could hear the desperation in the flight attendants voice when she asked me if there was anything I could do. 'I'm on it', I said. I told her that I would get back to her.
Airborne communication with my company normally occurs in the form of e-mail like messages. I decided to bypass this system and contact my flight dispatcher directly on a secondary radio. There is a radio operator in the operations control center who connects you to the telephone of the dispatcher. I was in direct contact with the dispatcher. I explained the situation I had on board with the family and what it was the family wanted. He said he understood and that he would get back to me.
Two hours went by and I had not heard from the dispatcher. We were going to get busy soon and I needed to know what to tell the family. I sent a text message asking for an update. I saved the return message from the dispatcher and the following is the text:
'Captain, sorry it has taken so long to get back to you. There is policy on this now, and I had to check on a few things. Upon your arrival a dedicated escort team will meet the aircraft. The team will escort the family to the ramp and plane side. A van will be used to load the remains with a secondary van for the family.
The family will be taken to their departure area and escorted into the terminal, where the remains can be seen on the ramp. It is a private area for the family only. When the connecting aircraft arrives, the family will be escorted onto the ramp and plane side to watch the remains being loaded for the final leg home.
Captain, most of us here in flight control are veterans. Please pass our condolences on to the family. Thanks.
I sent a message back, telling flight control thanks for a good job. I printed out the message and gave it to the lead flight attendant to pass on to the father. The lead flight attendant was very thankful and told me, 'You have no idea how much this will mean to them.'
Things started getting busy for the descent, approach and landing. After landing, we cleared the runway and taxied to the ramp area. The ramp is huge with 15 gates on either side of the alleyway. It is always a busy area with aircraft maneuvering every which way to enter and exit. When we entered the ramp and checked in with the ramp controller, we were told that all traffic was being held for us.
'There is a team in place to meet the aircraft', we were told. It looked like it was all coming together, then I realized that once we turned the seat belt sign off, everyone would stand up at once and delay the family from getting off the airplane. As we approached our gate, I asked the copilot to tell the ramp controller, we were going to stop short of the gate to make an announcement to the passengers. He did that and the ramp controller said, 'Take your time.'
I stopped the aircraft and set the parking brake. I pushed the public address button and said: 'Ladies and gentleman, this is your Captain speaking: I have stopped short of our gate to make a special announcement. We have a passenger on board who deserves our honor and respect. His Name is Private XXXXXX, a soldier who recently lost his life. Private XXXXXX is under your feet in the cargo hold. Escorting him today is Army Sergeant XXXXXXX. Also, on board are his father, mother, wife, and daughter. Your entire flight crew is asking for all passengers to remain in their seats to allow the family to exit the aircraft first. Thank you.'
We continued the turn to the gate, came to a stop and started our shutdown procedures. A couple of minutes later I opened the cockpit door. I found the two forward flight attendants crying, something you just do not see. I was told that after we came to a stop, every passenger on the aircraft stayed in their seats, waiting for the family to exit the aircraft.
When the family got up and gathered their things, a passenger slowly started to clap his hands. Moments later, more passengers joined in and soon the entire aircraft was clapping. Words of 'God Bless You', I'm sorry, thank you, be proud, and other kind words were uttered to the family as they made their way down the aisle and out of the airplane. They were escorted down to the ramp to finally be with their loved one.
Many of the passengers disembarking thanked me for the announcement I had made. They were just words, I told them, I could say them over and over again, but nothing I say will bring back that brave soldier.
I respectfully ask that all of you reflect on this event and the sacrifices that millions of our men and women have made to ensure our freedom and safety in these United States of AMERICA.
Foot note:
I know everyone who reads this will have tears in their eyes, including me. Prayer chain for our Military... PLEASE SHARE THIS! Please send this on after a short prayer for our service men and women.
They die for me and mine and you and yours and deserve our honor and respect.
Prayer Request:
When you receive this, please stop for a moment and say a prayer for our troops around the world... There is nothing attached. Just send this to people in your address book. Do not let it stop with you. Of all the gifts you could give a Marine, Soldier, Sailor, Airman, and others deployed in harm's way, prayer is the very best one.
GOD BLESS YOU!!!
Thank you all who have served, or are serving. We Will not forget!!!!
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2014 10:30
|
|
- yeah I eat ass
- Mar 14, 2005
-
only people who enjoy my posting can replace this avatar
|
It's always spontaneous rounds of applause with these people. I don't know about anyone else, but if I were in that made up family's situation I don't think I'd take applause very well. What is it even supposed to convey, "Congrats on the death"? Do the people who make these stories up try to start rounds of applause at funerals?
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2014 13:58
|
|
- Stottie Kyek
- Apr 26, 2008
-
fuckin egg in a bun
|
I'd probably rather be left in peace to do my grieving with my relatives. Who announces someone's personal turmoil over the PA system? The cabin crew probably just said a polite "sorry for your loss" and offered to help them out with things on the flight. At least I hope they did.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2014 14:14
|
|
- KiddieGrinder
- Nov 15, 2005
-
HELP ME
|
Also considering how 99% of people these days get out their cell phones and start texting/calling people immediately upon landing, I doubt many people would hear a "special announcement" from the pilot anyway.
edit: and people start getting up as soon as the plane stops, even if the dreaded seatbelt sign is still lit. No one would know it was not at the gate yet because we have tiny windows and, as above, no one would be listening to his sentimental drivel anyway.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2014 15:21
|
|
- Paladinus
- Jan 11, 2014
-
heyHEYYYY!!!
|
It's always hard to tell how much of it happened with those stories. I find that normally the first part where the author is misjudged or humiliated by someone is true, but the second part where they get their comeuppance is always made up.
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2014 15:22
|
|
- Thin Privilege
- Jul 8, 2009
-
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
-
Gravy Boat 2k
|
Do these people ever fly? Because in the real world, instead of applause it would be a bunch of people yelling WHY THE gently caress ARE WE WAITING I NEED TO CATCH A FLIGHT and pushing to the front of the plane. Also yelling into their cellphones at the carrier's customer support line. People get pissed off when the plane gets rerouted despite the other option being "likely die in a horrible fireball upon landing."
See:
http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3656312&pagenumber=3#post435577349
|
|
#
?
Oct 18, 2014 18:49
|
|
- BrigadierSensible
- Feb 16, 2012
-
I've got a pocket full of cheese🧀, and a garden full of trees🌴.
|
From my facebook. a friend of a friend:
Here's a story…
Yesterday I went to a music festival in Williamstown. It was awesome fun! On the train ride there, I noticed a lady with bandages all over her face, wearing dark glasses. I thought to myself "Sheesh…looks like she's had a bad run".
I then saw her again entering the festival a little way behind us.
I thought to myself "She's coming to the festival…what a goddamn trooper. I like her fringed jacket".
A little later again I saw her talking to my friend and I thought "Cool! She's getting into it". I kept seeing her everywhere.
I then started to really look at her, her brown boots, her black dress, her pink lipstick and small tufts of her pink hair poking through the bandages. She seemed SO familiar.
She noticed me staring at her from a few metres away and she stared right back.
I kept staring…she kept staring…
Then she removed her sunglasses and smiled. It was my goddamn amazing friend returned from months overseas!!! She had followed us to the festival, in disguise, to surprise us!! I still can't believe she did it. What a frickin' hilarious tricker.
The end.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 00:31
|
|
- sharktamer
- Oct 30, 2011
-
Shark tamer ridiculous
|
What a cool story the end.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 01:56
|
|
- Redrum and Coke
- Feb 25, 2006
-
wAstIng 10 bUcks ON an aVaTar iS StUpid
|
From my facebook. a friend of a friend:
Here's a story…
Yesterday I went to a music festival in Williamstown. It was awesome fun! On the train ride there, I noticed a lady with bandages all over her face, wearing dark glasses. I thought to myself "Sheesh…looks like she's had a bad run".
I then saw her again entering the festival a little way behind us.
I thought to myself "She's coming to the festival…what a goddamn trooper. I like her fringed jacket".
A little later again I saw her talking to my friend and I thought "Cool! She's getting into it". I kept seeing her everywhere.
I then started to really look at her, her brown boots, her black dress, her pink lipstick and small tufts of her pink hair poking through the bandages. She seemed SO familiar.
She noticed me staring at her from a few metres away and she stared right back.
I kept staring…she kept staring…
Then she removed her sunglasses and smiled. It was my goddamn amazing friend returned from months overseas!!! She had followed us to the festival, in disguise, to surprise us!! I still can't believe she did it. What a frickin' hilarious tricker.
The end.
The amount of bandaged varies greatly in different parts of the story.
This is a friend of yours?
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 02:03
|
|
- Wild T
- Dec 15, 2008
-
The point I'm trying to make is that the only way to come out on top is to kick the Air Force in the nuts, beart it savagely with a weight and take a dump on it's face.
|
Every flight with human remains I've been on (both military and civilian) has been very low-key. It's supposed to be a dignified transfer, not a circus. Generally the policy is to avoid drawing attention to it and let the escort do their thing and get the body home because they're tired as gently caress and uncomfortable but doing something the family will appreciate.
Once I took my wife and kids home to the states from Germany on a C-17 and they had an HR transfer case right at the front of the cargo compartment. We were entering from the side door and the aircraft was almost full, meaning we had to cross right by the case to get to the row of seats on the other side of the compartment. I told my son that a person had died and was in the case and no matter what you do do not mess with it. To a three year old that means 'run away from Dad laughing, smack the transfer case and then yank the flag on top hoping to see the dead guy.' Luckily the guy escorting was pretty cool about it and helped me not be too mortified about my son attempting to peek at his dead buddy.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 14:23
|
|
- Stottie Kyek
- Apr 26, 2008
-
fuckin egg in a bun
|
From my facebook. a friend of a friend:
Here's a story…
Yesterday I went to a music festival in Williamstown. It was awesome fun! On the train ride there, I noticed a lady with bandages all over her face, wearing dark glasses. I thought to myself "Sheesh…looks like she's had a bad run".
I then saw her again entering the festival a little way behind us.
I thought to myself "She's coming to the festival…what a goddamn trooper. I like her fringed jacket".
A little later again I saw her talking to my friend and I thought "Cool! She's getting into it". I kept seeing her everywhere.
I then started to really look at her, her brown boots, her black dress, her pink lipstick and small tufts of her pink hair poking through the bandages. She seemed SO familiar.
She noticed me staring at her from a few metres away and she stared right back.
I kept staring…she kept staring…
Then she removed her sunglasses and smiled. It was my goddamn amazing friend returned from months overseas!!! She had followed us to the festival, in disguise, to surprise us!! I still can't believe she did it. What a frickin' hilarious tricker.
The end.
Brown boots and a black dress? This didn't happen, nobody wears brown boots with a black dress. Not even me and I'm a scruffy goon.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 14:47
|
|
- walrusman
- Aug 4, 2006
-
|
Brown boots and a black dress? This didn't happen, nobody wears brown boots with a black dress. Not even me and I'm a scruffy goon.
Pink hair and face bandages, truly the mark of a girl who puts fashion first.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 15:15
|
|
- Boris Galerkin
- Dec 17, 2011
-
I don't understand why I can't harass people online. Seriously, somebody please explain why I shouldn't be allowed to stalk others on social media!
|
Every flight with human remains I've been on (both military and civilian) has been very low-key. It's supposed to be a dignified transfer, not a circus. Generally the policy is to avoid drawing attention to it and let the escort do their thing and get the body home because they're tired as gently caress and uncomfortable but doing something the family will appreciate.
Once I took my wife and kids home to the states from Germany on a C-17 and they had an HR transfer case right at the front of the cargo compartment. We were entering from the side door and the aircraft was almost full, meaning we had to cross right by the case to get to the row of seats on the other side of the compartment. I told my son that a person had died and was in the case and no matter what you do do not mess with it. To a three year old that means 'run away from Dad laughing, smack the transfer case and then yank the flag on top hoping to see the dead guy.' Luckily the guy escorting was pretty cool about it and helped me not be too mortified about my son attempting to peek at his dead buddy.
What's the point of sending an "escort?" Sounds like a total waste of money and someone's time.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 17:15
|
|
- KiddieGrinder
- Nov 15, 2005
-
HELP ME
|
Next time on Baggage Battles:
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 18:47
|
|
- Sardonik
- Jul 1, 2005
-
if you like my dumb posts, you'll love my dumb youtube channel
|
Somehow,this clickhole article reminds me of a lot of stdh.
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 22:03
|
|
- Loopyface
- Mar 22, 2003
-
|
Because they're both 100% fabricated?
|
|
#
?
Oct 20, 2014 22:08
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
May 23, 2024 21:07
|
|
- ibntumart
- Mar 18, 2007
-
Good, bad. I'm the one with the power of Shu, Heru, Amon, Zehuti, Aton, and Mehen.
-
College Slice
|
Is there even such a thing as a concise, articulate tech support STDH? posted:
I work for health insurance company on the east coast and have been part of the Tech SSupport group for going on 7 years now and this is my first "ARE YOU KIDING ME" tech support moment that I felt like posting...
This story takes place on a warm sunny saturday morning, we were working all week on upgrading the VPN software on the new wave of laptops we just got. My boss (We will call him Barney as to protect his real name just incase any of my fellow people find me on reddit) gave us a list of things to troubleshoot while setting up said computers. Well Barney was in a meeting with the CEO and a bunch of the other directors and they all wanted the first wave of new laptops. All of them were setup and working for each user as of Friday afternoon when I left at noon. They were going to be picking them up before they left for the day.....or so I thought
Saturday morning roles around and I am woken up to the sound of my phone going off at 6am. After answering the phone It was Barney, panicing. I tried to calm him down to find out what was wrong but Barney was in full panic mode freaking out and sounding like he was going to have a heart attack. I talked to him for about 10 minutes until I figured out the issue....and it was a big one....
The new laptops were not working at all, the compuets wouldnt let them log in and the Directors had no idea why. SO I called our CEO (I didnt volunteer, I was basically told to because Barney was having a break down). After speaking to our CEO (I will call him Hermin), Hermin was no help at all after almost 20 minutes of trying to ask him what the problem was. he just kept repeating "It wont connect, I am really disappointed". I tried to walk him through the setup and he keeps saying that the computer is asking for a windows key...so right there I know something isnt right. Then Hermin just begins getting really mad and then he slips out the words "god dammit Obama"....now I am holding back my laughter with all of my strength and tell him I will make my way to the office.
Ok so now at this point I drive into the office (which is 45 minutes away). So I dont even get dressed just jump in the car and drive off to the office. When I get there I finally get to the 5th floor and find my way to my work area and then I see it...the 6 laptops sitting on the tech cart with a giant sign that says "DIRECTORS LAPTOPS" and each was boxed with the different directors name on a label on both sides and top of the box so it was easy to read....they didnt take the correct laptops....
Heres when it gets good....I then have to call Hermin back and explain to him what the problem is. That basically whoever grabbed the laptops, gave them the wrong ones. I say im sorry for this mixup and tell them that they have to switch them out. The ones they have arent even setup with windows yet (hence the Windows Key screen...). Hermin then begins to get really mad at me, and below I have laid out the convo for you:
Hermin: "Well I am the one that grabbed these, so you are saying I took the wrong ones? HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO KNOW WHICH ONES ARE THE RIGHT ONES?"
Me: "Where did you take them from? We had them on the tech cart in the Support area with a sign on them. They had each directors name on the box because we set them up based on how you wanted them"
Hermin: "this is ridiculous, where was that cart? I dont know where the Tech Support area is!"
Me: "but you said you grabbed the laptops your self, so where did you take them from?"
Hermin: "dont get smart with me!"
Me: "Sir, I am only trying to figure out how to correct this mistake please dont think I am insulting you in anyway. I just want to know which ones you took"
Hermin: "Well we are all without working computers now, this is entirely your fault"
Me: "Barney is in charge of this project not me, so please talk to him regarding this"
Hermin: "You need to bring us these laptop ASAP! Otherwise the directors will be unable to answer emails or contact clients" This is false as each one has a work phone which has access to their email
Me: "Ok where are you? Do you want to come into the office so I can give you the correct laptops and show you how to connect to the network?"
Hermin: "we are in Atlantic City"
Me: "Thats a 7 hour drive for me..."
Hermin: "Start driving.." click
At this point I call Barney back and flip out, I am not driving 7 hours to give thme laptops because our CEO is a moron. Barney is begging me to do it and I tell him that this is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. After screaming at Barney for another 30 minutes I hear my phone ringing, its Hermin.
Hermin: "Are you going to drive them to us?"
Me: "Are you joking sir? I understand you need the laptops but thats 7 hours of driving all because YOU took the wrong ones. This is ridiculous of you to demand this and I just cant do that"
Hermin: "So you arent going to do this then? We need them! If you dont do this on monday we will have a meeting about this with all of the directors."
Me: "That is fine with me, I will explain to them what I explained to you"
Hermin: "see you monday and if they all agree with me, we will be letting you go that after noon" click
Monday rolls around and at this point im ready to lose my job because our CEO is a fool. My manager Barney is really upset and freaking out as we walk into the conference room. All of the directors and the CEO are in the room and Hermin is at the head of the table ready to yell. We sit down and he starts saying that this situation could have been avoided. After listening to the garbage roll out of his mouth I stand up and say the following:
Me: "Ok let me start off by saying that we took an entire week to do this last minute upgrade for you. We spent many hours setting up your laptops and upgrading your VPN systems with the help of the networking team. With that said I would like to say sorry but not for myself but for our CEO."
Hermin: "what did you say?!"
Me: "since you are so hell bent on firing me I would atleast like to explain this situation to everyone in the room so please allow me to do that"
Hermin: "ok fine!"
Me: "we setup your 6 specific laptops and tripple checked that they all worked before we were ready to give them to you. We also put them on a cart in our area with a bright yellow sigh that said these were your laptops as well as labeling each one of them based on the user. Then we left them IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM so they would be easy to find. I got called at 6am because someone grabbed the wrong laptops. This is not my fault, then i was blamed for this and told to drive to Atlantic City where the conference was that you all attended to give you the latops, which to me is unacceptable. You do not pay me enough to drive that far out of my way because of someone else screw up."
At this point Hermin's face is turning bright red with anger, but he holds back until I finish.
Me:"I have pictures of the tech support area that day as well as access to the cameras for that floor. After further review it shows Hermin going into the tech Support Closet and taking out fresh unopened laptops which didnt even have an OS on them, he told me on the phone he didnt know where the tech support area was but the camera's show him walking right past the main room to our closet. He then threatened to fire me over his own ignorance."
Hermin: "HOW DARE YOU!"
Just as i was getting ready to be thrown out of the building, one of the other directors stands up and says "This is not your fault, this is Hermins"...like the voice of an angel...
Hermin: "these pictures have to be false there is no way I missed them"
Me: "you did, and i also have you on our call system saying you had no idea where the tech support area is, if you like I can play that back for you"
Director 1: "its fine, this is clearly not your issue and we will let it go. Sorry about the confusion."
ME: "Thank you for understanding, but just so you are all aware this ill be going to HR before the end of the day"
Hermin: "HOW DARE YOU"
I walked out of the room, sent an email to HR and had a meeting that day. By the end of that week I had a formal apology letter form the CEO as well as the directors all of which saying that I did an excellent job.
Point of the story:Stupid CEO took wrong laptops, blamed me, blamed Obama, and wanted me to drive to Atlantic city with 6 laptops.
|
|
#
?
Oct 23, 2014 08:00
|
|
#
?
Oct 16, 2014 17:36
