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nrr posted:Y'know Mike, I like to call this Daniel Snyder, One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest, because everyone hopes it all ends with a big chief smothering him to death and throwing a water fountain through his owners box window hahahahahaha yes
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Oct 22, 2014 16:40
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Mel Mudkiper posted:And now I just remembered that Dennis Miller was briefly a football commentator "Concussion? How the hell can they tell? They're *football* players, for chrissakes!"
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Oct 22, 2014 16:41
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You know Mike, I call this Raiders offense 12 Monkeys because I have no loving clue what is happening down there V lol V Mel Mudkiper fucked around with this message at 16:49 on Oct 22, 2014 |
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Oct 22, 2014 16:43
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Now Mike, 50 Shades of Grey was a book about a depraved sexual relationship but tonight, Shady McCoy is the one who's penetrating this defence 50 ways from Sunday and they're all just standing around staring at each other wondering how they can tie him down. I gotta tell ya Mike, it's pretty hot
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Oct 22, 2014 16:47
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nrr posted:Now Mike, 50 Shades of Grey was a book about a depraved sexual relationship but tonight, Shady McCoy is the one who's penetrating this defence 50 ways from Sunday and they're all just standing around staring at each other wondering how they can tie him down. Jon, once he takes the hand off, he just explodes all over the field.
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Oct 22, 2014 16:52
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Mike, I call Tom Brady "the plumber" because he's working with nothing but poo poo out there on offense!
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Oct 22, 2014 16:52
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Mike I like to call Steelers fans the Preta because they are never satisfied and everyone likes to watch them eat poo poo
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Oct 22, 2014 16:56
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You know Mike, I like to call the Cleveland Browns the Monet's. Cos every time their fans try to enjoy their work, it gets all blurry like they're watching through a constant stream of tears. They really have turned sorrow into an art form, Mike
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Oct 22, 2014 17:10
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You know Mike, I like to call Ryan Fitzpatrick 'Oscar Pistorius', he's got no legs and when he gets frightened he likes to just fire one off haphazardly and it ends up killing the drive.
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Oct 22, 2014 17:14
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No Safe Word posted:You know Mike, I like to call Ryan Fitzpatrick 'Oscar Pistorius', he's got no legs and when he gets frightened he likes to just fire one off haphazardly and it ends up killing the drive. Boom
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Oct 22, 2014 17:17
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No Safe Word posted:You know Mike, I like to call Ryan Fitzpatrick 'Oscar Pistorius', he's got no legs and when he gets frightened he likes to just fire one off haphazardly and it ends up killing the drive. Oh my god hahahahaha
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Oct 22, 2014 17:28
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No Safe Word posted:You know Mike, I like to call Ryan Fitzpatrick 'Oscar Pistorius', he's got no legs and when he gets frightened he likes to just fire one off haphazardly and it ends up killing the drive. This is it.
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Oct 22, 2014 17:29
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No Safe Word posted:You know Mike, I like to call Ryan Fitzpatrick 'Oscar Pistorius', he's got no legs and when he gets frightened he likes to just fire one off haphazardly and it ends up killing the drive. rack 'em
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Oct 22, 2014 17:45
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Wow Mike, I call this guy Taco Bell because his rear end is on fire tonight Hey Mike this guy JJ Watt. This guy reminds me of Reddit because he will defend anything No Safe Word posted:You know Mike, I like to call Ryan Fitzpatrick 'Oscar Pistorius', he's got no legs and when he gets frightened he likes to just fire one off haphazardly and it ends up killing the drive. Jesus drat Febreeze fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Oct 22, 2014 |
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Oct 22, 2014 17:50
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Well hell, I was going to write another one, but that's as good a stopping point as any.
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Oct 22, 2014 17:55
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Kalli posted:Well hell, I was going to write another one, but that's as good a stopping point as any. Don't stop if you have an idea!
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Oct 22, 2014 17:58
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No Safe Word posted:You know Mike, I like to call Ryan Fitzpatrick 'Oscar Pistorius', he's got no legs and when he gets frightened he likes to just fire one off haphazardly and it ends up killing the drive. That reminds me of a joke mike! Roses are red Violets are glorious Never surprise Oscar pistorious
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Oct 22, 2014 18:01
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You know what I like to call this LB, Mike? I like to call him Guy Fieri, because he's made a career out of uninspired dives. That's a Moon Landing play if I ever saw one Mike. Everyone tells you its real and they even have video evidence but none of us will ever see it again in person because no one can reproduce the results. Relentlessboredomm fucked around with this message at 18:32 on Oct 22, 2014 |
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Oct 22, 2014 18:22
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No Safe Word posted:You know Mike, I like to call Ryan Fitzpatrick 'Oscar Pistorius', he's got no legs and when he gets frightened he likes to just fire one off haphazardly and it ends up killing the drive. 
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Oct 22, 2014 18:39
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This guy, Mike, I like this guy. I like to compare him to Josh Brent because he really knows how to kill a drive with one big hit
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Oct 22, 2014 18:46
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I tell ya Mike that corner got burned so bad he makes me think of Ray Lewis in an Atlanta nightclub, he just didn't see nothin' out thereKalli posted:This guy really cheeses my nachos Mike. He's got the whole field in front of him and he's refusing to go for anything over 10, maybe 12. We call these ephebophile plays Mike and if you don't take a shot at something over 20 you'll be out of this league faster then Aatrek.
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Oct 22, 2014 19:06
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Febreeze posted:This guy, Mike, I like this guy. I like to compare him to Josh Brent because he really knows how to kill a drive with one big hit The joke so nice you posted it twice 
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Oct 22, 2014 19:08
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Manoueverable posted:The joke so nice you posted it twice I did the N/V one and was like "poo poo, that's a good Gruden joke for the Farthouse"
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Oct 22, 2014 19:10
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Mike, lemme tell ya. Look at this block by the fullback, springing Shady McCoy into the second level for the touchdown. Reminds of Janay Rice. He's claiming responsibility for a hit he didn't throw.
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Oct 22, 2014 19:33
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Now this Tony Romo, Mike, I think of him like my ex, he's great most of the time, but you ask him to do something big and he chokes on it.
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Oct 22, 2014 19:43
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These fans, Mike. These Tennessee Titans fans. I call them John Cena. Because you can't see them.
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Oct 22, 2014 19:57
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GNU Order posted:Yo Mike this dude just laid some wood, like Ron Jeremy I don't understand why this hasn't been quoted a billion times.
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Oct 22, 2014 21:11
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BougieBitch posted:I don't understand why this hasn't been quoted a billion times. Because bye bye bye was NSync and my immersion was ruined
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Oct 22, 2014 21:27
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Loving these quotes. Is Jon Gruden the new John Madden for football quotes?
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Oct 22, 2014 21:36
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Wilford Cutlery posted:Loving these quotes. Is Jon Gruden the new John Madden for football quotes? I would forgive EA for everything for Gruden 16 to come out next year.
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Oct 22, 2014 21:39
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This Riley Cooper fella really reminds me of Maurice Clarett because he is always goose-stepping all over the field.
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Oct 22, 2014 22:23
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Zoran posted:Now this Tony Romo, Mike, I think of him like my ex, he's great most of the time, but you ask him to do something big and he chokes on it. I don't want this to pass unnoticed and unappreciated.
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Oct 22, 2014 22:24
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No Safe Word posted:Because bye bye bye was NSync and my immersion was ruined Oh my god I'm forever shamed 
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Oct 22, 2014 22:58
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Y'know Mike, I like to call this Adrian Peterson here, Icarus. A guy with such promise, the entire world at his feet, but he just flew to close to his son Mike. Now his wings have been stripped away, he's just beating his bare arms furiously at thin air and he's just sinking, Mike. Sinking like a stone, both inside and out, while he Ponder's the tragedy that is life.
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Oct 22, 2014 23:24
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Mike you ever see the Book of Eli? Its set in a post apocalyptic wasteland where no one can read. The Book of Eli Manning is the same thing only with reading defenses.
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Oct 23, 2014 00:12
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Oct 23, 2014 00:15
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I'm going to the game on Thursday 
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Oct 23, 2014 00:17
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Mike, I look at that Nick Foles fella and I think about my time back in 'Nam, when I was with a small patrol group deep out in the fuckin' boonies about ten clicks west of Ap Bac — reeds as tall as two grown men stacked atop one another, I swear to God Almighty — and we stumbled across this village that had been cleared out two weeks before. Not anything serious, you know, just some small farms and a shack here or there, nothing you'd give a name to, nothing worth putting on a map. Anyway the folks who cleared out of there did so in a real drat hurry, Mike, so there was a whole lot of poo poo just scattered all around their houses for the taking. We were having a pretty good time of it, really, which was a welcome change because just a day or two before we lost Perkins to an SUV-sized hornet nest — I don't know if you've ever seen one of them Vietnamese hornets, Mike, but you need a fuckin' tennis racket to get 'em out of the air — so it was a nice distraction to be able to wander through these homes and look at what life was like for these people before their world went and folded on 'em. Anyway, I'm poking around in the back room of one of these shacks and I smell just the worst fuckin' thing, I wish I could really convey it properly, but it was just the worst fuckin' thing and I figured out it had to be coming from just outside the back wall. So I head out the door and around back and there behind the shed is this goat — swear to you, Mike, a drat goat — that someone just left there chained by the leg to one of the house supports. I dunno if they forgot him or they just didn't care, but either way the flies were getting to him something fierce and he was way past gone, except this drat goat was still breathing. Jesus. You can't even imagine the sound, Mike. So I did what had to be done and put him down. Only bullet I fired in the whole fuckin' war, Mike, but I think about it every single day. Life's precious, you know? We've gotta take care of one another. Anyway yeah, Nick Foles reminds me of that because every time he goes deep things just go to poo poo.
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Oct 23, 2014 00:41
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Please tell me someone is documenting these so we can do a MNF version of Hatin' rear end Spurrier
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Oct 23, 2014 00:46
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Manoueverable posted:Please tell me someone is documenting these so we can do a MNF version of Hatin' rear end Spurrier Ehud posted:Hey I want to do more crowd-sourced posts for FART. I was thinking it would be fun to do some Gruden-isms. You know the ones where he says stuff like, "I call this guy the ________ because ________!" Toaster Beef posted:Mike, I look at that Nick Foles fella and I think about my time back in 'Nam, when I was with a small patrol group deep out in the fuckin' boonies about ten clicks west of Ap Bac — reeds as tall as two grown men stacked atop one another, I swear to God Almighty — and we stumbled across this village that had been cleared out two weeks before. Not anything serious, you know, just some small farms and a shack here or there, nothing you'd give a name to, nothing worth putting on a map. Anyway the folks who cleared out of there did so in a real drat hurry, Mike, so there was a whole lot of poo poo just scattered all around their houses for the taking. We were having a pretty good time of it, really, which was a welcome change because just a day or two before we lost Perkins to an SUV-sized hornet nest — I don't know if you've ever seen one of them Vietnamese hornets, Mike, but you need a fuckin' tennis racket to get 'em out of the air — so it was a nice distraction to be able to wander through these homes and look at what life was like for these people before their world went and folded on 'em. Anyway, I'm poking around in the back room of one of these shacks and I smell just the worst fuckin' thing, I wish I could really convey it properly, but it was just the worst fuckin' thing and I figured out it had to be coming from just outside the back wall. So I head out the door and around back and there behind the shed is this goat — swear to you, Mike, a drat goat — that someone just left there chained by the leg to one of the house supports. I dunno if they forgot him or they just didn't care, but either way the flies were getting to him something fierce and he was way past gone, except this drat goat was still breathing. Jesus. You can't even imagine the sound, Mike. So I did what had to be done and put him down. Only bullet I fired in the whole fuckin' war, Mike, but I think about it every single day. Life's precious, you know? We've gotta take care of one another. Anyway yeah, Nick Foles reminds me of that because every time he goes deep things just go to poo poo. You are a treasure and I almost want to draw this
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Oct 23, 2014 00:51
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