incontinent ninja sniper hunts cops in penn.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > incontinent ninja sniper hunts cops in penn.

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

Thread soundtrack: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1CSuO_9ic0

Nah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Z4ll94hN_E
this should be the BGM for this thread.

stay stafe diaper sniper

:shrek:

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:09

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# ? May 25, 2024 20:51

Alas Boobylon: Sep 30, 2014

i went to a rotissiere chicken place today and there were eight cops in heavy hevlar occupying two tables chowing down just obliterating chickens and they werent fatties either they could have stomped an entire projects worth of trayvons and im really glad none of them were in line or holding the door for me or something cause if they had been like, "sup" i would have been like "TOO BAD ABOUT ALL THESE DEAD COPS LATELY AND TERRORISTS SHOOTING SOLDIERS AND COPS HAHA SORRY DIDNT MEAN TOO LAUGH ITS JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT KILL ME

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:10

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

Alas Boobylon posted:

i went to a rotissiere chicken place today and there were eight cops in heavy hevlar occupying two tables chowing down just obliterating chickens and they werent fatties either they could have stomped an entire projects worth of trayvons and im really glad none of them were in line or holding the door for me or something cause if they had been like, "sup" i would have been like "TOO BAD ABOUT ALL THESE DEAD COPS LATELY AND TERRORISTS SHOOTING SOLDIERS AND COPS HAHA SORRY DIDNT MEAN TOO LAUGH ITS JUST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT KILL ME

lol like they'd hold the door for you.

They'd most likely get in your way and make you accidentally touch them and then beat you to death.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:11

wane tendo: Mar 19, 2005; Buglord

code:


MULDER: There was something on that tree that OFFICER MAGGOT fell out of ; an inscription - Ad Noctum.

A TALKING PIG: That�s, uh �

MULDER: It means "into darkness". The local paintball teams used to carve it on the posts that they would lash the cops to as a warning.

A TALKING PIG: So who�re you saying wrote this?

MULDER: Eric Frein came here 4 weeks ago looking for cop death.

A TALKING PIG: You mean you think that these ... that - that - that- that body the one that Agent Multicam shot? No -

MULDER: After 4 weeks in the woods don�t you think he might have adapted perfectly to his environment?

A TALKING PIG: You�re just making this up.

MULDER: Why do you say that?

A TALKING PIG: (Oinks uncomfortably) �Cause, you work for the government, and you just want to write off your manhunt.

SHERIFF STAIN: (coming up) Search and Rescue are still unable to find DEAD COP or the second diaper that you reported.

MULDER: I wouldn�t be surprised if they couldn�t find either one of them.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:25

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Al Borland posted:

"mud"

Funded by the government. So they have pretty much an unlimited budget.

also their ranks are packed full of the same murderers, rapists, thieves, drug addicts and all around sociopaths that they arrest/kill on a daily basis and claim to despise! but hey if your fellow officer loves to get shitfaced and tune up his girlfriend the right thing to do is show up and talk her out of pressing charges and make her feel like she's to blame cuz holding some fuckhead cop accountable for his actions is craziness!!!

anyone who says they became a cop "to help people" is either the worlds biggest liar or an enormous dumbass because literally ANY other job on the planet would be more helpful to society

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:38

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

Nonsense posted:

because cops are a gang

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:39

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

The Diaper Sniper is still on the loose, but I bring you news!

A car was stolen and they don't think Frein did it. It was found over 100 miles north of the area they are searching.

That's not the best part.

This is,

Got me a ghillie suit!

article
http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/breaking-news/index.ssf/2014/10/eric_frein_search_turns_to_por.html

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:41

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

quote:

The sheriff's office in Delaware County, New York, said Thursday there is no indication the 2012 Porsche Cayman found in Bovina is connected to the Frein case. But it says it's taking precautions.

lol are they just gonna pin every crime in the universe on frein, steve sax style?

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:42

Calvin Johnson Jr.: Dec 8, 2009

Everyone in the area should wear mud or poo poo on their faces in support of the Frein

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:43

Calvin Johnson Jr.: Dec 8, 2009

honestly if you have people willing to be accomplices in poo poo like this you could prob get away with it

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:44

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Calvin Johnson Jr. posted:

honestly if you have people willing to be accomplices in poo poo like this you could prob get away with it

it also helps to have the dumbest cops in the universe who will pack up and move their target area whenever some hysterical citizen dials 911

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:45

Moridin920: Nov 15, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

haljordan posted:

lol are they just gonna pin every crime in the universe on frein, steve sax style?

Eric Frein
Emmanuel Goldstein

:tinfoil:

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:46

Calvin Johnson Jr.: Dec 8, 2009

Couldn't they send in a UAV that would be high enough to not hear and just look for him in loving thermal imaging?

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:47

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

haljordan posted:

lol are they just gonna pin every crime in the universe on frein, steve sax style?

I hear Frein traveled through a portal to Narnia and sniped Mr. Tumnus, hitched a ride back through history, cucked Adam and brought forth original sin, before traveling forward to Ford's Theater, sniping Lincoln and finishing it all off with rigging the elections that put Obama in office.

:bustem:

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:48

The Droid: Jun 11, 2012

Calvin Johnson Jr. posted:

Couldn't they send in a UAV that would be high enough to not hear and just look for him in loving thermal imaging?

Its a forest

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:48

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

I understand why Halloween was canceled now. Too many kids would be dressed up as their heroes and could be shot by mistake.

Their hero being Eric Frein of course and not filthy pigmen.

VendaGoat posted:

I hear Frein traveled through a portal to Narnia and sniped Mr. Tumnus, hitched a ride back through history, cucked Adam and brought forth original sin, before traveling forward to Ford's Theater, sniping Lincoln and finishing it all off with rigging the elections that put Obama in office.

You forgot Kennedy and the grassy knoll.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:48

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

VendaGoat posted:

I hear Frein traveled through a portal to Narnia and sniped Mr. Tumnus, hitched a ride back through history, cucked Adam and brought forth original sin, before traveling forward to Ford's Theater, sniping Lincoln and finishing it all off with rigging the elections that put Obama in office.

also im pretty sure he's the dick who dented my car in the parking lot the other day

frein flee to spain, the wordplay possibilities are endless

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:49

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

The Droid posted:

Its a forest

http://www.flirnews.com/2014/10/15/lost-hiker-found-with-flir/

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:50

Day Man: Jul 30, 2007; Champion of the Sun!

Master of karate and friendship...
for everyone!

Someone should call in with a sighting of Frein in west Africa so they move the search into the hot zone

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:52

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

Al Borland posted:

You forgot Kennedy and the grassy knoll.

wasn't he a democrat?

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:54

The Droid: Jun 11, 2012

VendaGoat posted:

http://www.flirnews.com/2014/10/15/lost-hiker-found-with-flir/

That's a helicopter and someone trying to be found though, not sure if it'd be an accurate comparison.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:54

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

VendaGoat posted:

http://www.flirnews.com/2014/10/15/lost-hiker-found-with-flir/

it's deer season, there are literally thousands of man-sized thermal images roaming around the forest but they all have antlers

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:54

VendaGoat: Nov 1, 2005

just lose the argument gracefully guys

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:56

XMNN: Apr 26, 2008; I am incredibly stupid

i thought it was established frein was rocking a mud mask predator-style

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:57

JB50: Feb 13, 2008

Jonny 290 posted:

it's deer season, there are literally thousands of man-sized thermal images roaming around the forest but they all have antlers

They cancelled Deer season in the area I thought.

There is like 0% chance this dude is still in the woods right?

He prolly picked one direction and kept going that way on day one.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:58

Baba Ganoush: Oct 12, 2014; Dinosaur Gum

haljordan posted:

it also helps to have the dumbest cops in the universe who will pack up and move their target area whenever some hysterical citizen dials 911

It just shows you that they have absolutely no clue where he is. Remember how excited they were when I found his diaper? Seems like that's all they have.

I'm sure showing his poop to a hundred police dogs was a fun project for them though.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 00:59

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

VendaGoat posted:

http://www.flirnews.com/2014/10/15/lost-hiker-found-with-flir/

shut up you could cost them precious OT.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:00

The Droid: Jun 11, 2012

JB50 posted:

They cancelled Deer season in the area I thought.

Cancelling deer season doesn't make the deer go away. In fact, making the deer go away is part of what deer season is all about over there IIRC.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:03

Grand Theft Autobot: Feb 28, 2008; I'm something of a fucking idiot myself

I guess cops are poo poo at their jobs when confronted with actual danger, as opposed to unarmed black children.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:04

Calvin Johnson Jr.: Dec 8, 2009

hmmm pay a 1,000 cops or operate 20 uavs i wonder which is cheaper

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:04

JB50: Feb 13, 2008

The Droid posted:

Cancelling deer season doesn't make the deer go away. In fact, making the deer go away is part of what deer season is all about over there IIRC.

I assumed he meant the hunters, but I guess the deer would show up on FLIR.

OMFG Frein is safe if he is in a deer costume. :master:

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:05

haljordan: Oct 22, 2004; the corpse of god is love.

Grand Theft Autobot posted:

I guess cops are poo poo at their jobs when confronted with actual danger, as opposed to unarmed black children.

i guarantee theyre sitting around right now trying to figure how to pin this on all a black dude ("frein is just the pawn! this 15 year old is the REAL mastermind! case closed!"). thank gently caress that one poor bastard who lives in the area and gets harassed 40 times a day is white otherwise he'd be full of bullet holes right now.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:05

SirDan3k: Jan 6, 2001; Trust me, you are taking this a lot more seriously then I am.

XMNN posted:

i thought it was established frein was rocking a mud mask predator-style

No he's rocking a mud mask spa style in New York.

:cop:

"He totally didn't escapse our impenetrable noisy dragnet, steal a porche and go to new york guys! How could he? I mean have you even seen our Rook?"

Stay exfoliated diaper sniper

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:05

whoflungpoop: Sep 9, 2004; With you and the constellations

I lust for Frein's unwashed balls and pig death alike :shlick:

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:07

Grand Theft Autobot: Feb 28, 2008; I'm something of a fucking idiot myself

haljordan posted:

i guarantee theyre sitting around right now trying to figure how to pin this on all a black dude ("frein is just the pawn! this 15 year old is the REAL mastermind! case closed!"). thank gently caress that one poor bastard who lives in the area and gets harassed 40 times a day is white otherwise he'd be full of bullet holes right now.

It was Michael Brown all along.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:07

Al Borland: Oct 29, 2006; by XyloJW

SirDan3k posted:

No he's rocking a mud mask spa style in New York.

"He totally didn't escapse our impenetrable noisy dragnet, steal a porche and go to new york guys! How could he? I mean have you even seen our Rook?"

Stay exfoliated diaper sniper

Im sure after he hit new york he probably caught a bus to somewhere in the midwest where he wont be recognized, bothered, or cared about for the next 10 years as he rides his bike into town like the unibomber.

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:08

Jonny 290: May 5, 2005; [ASK] me about OS/2 Warp

The Droid posted:

Cancelling deer season doesn't make the deer go away. In fact, making the deer go away is part of what deer season is all about over there IIRC.

ding ding

from 1000 ft up you cant tell a 150 lb deer nested under a tree from a 150 lb dude nested under a tree. and yes since deer season is off, there are even more out there.

its like the old fable where a dude finds a leprechaun's gold and ties a ribbon to the tree nearby and says "you can't touch that ribbon!" and when dude comes back a couple hours later to collect there's an identical ribbon on every tree in the forest

# ? Oct 24, 2014 01:09