The Simpsons Quote Thread - Put a sock in it, Roy

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After The War: Apr 12, 2005; to all of my Architects
let me be traitor

Everything Counts posted:

I have powers.... political powers!

No guys, I'm not very political. I usually think people who vote are a bit fruity. :gay:

But for some reason, this "Everything Counts" guy really speaks to me.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 16:09

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# ? May 16, 2024 21:07

Root Bear: Nov 15, 2004; DARKEST SKETCH

Spectacle Rock posted:

I'll help you with the year-end quote forecast if you stop looking at my boobs.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 16:20

some kinda jackal: Feb 25, 2003; �
�

Spectacle Rock posted:

I'll help you with the year-end quote forecast if you stop looking at my boobs.

Her swee-sweet -- CAN

# ? Oct 26, 2014 19:35

Spectacle Rock: May 24, 2013

So you admit you grabbed her can, what do you have to say in your defense?

# ? Oct 26, 2014 19:39

The Nastier Nate: May 22, 2005; All aboard the corona bus!

HONK! HONK!; Yams Fan

Hello, I'm The Nastier Nate, or as some of you have dubbed me -
father goose!

# ? Oct 26, 2014 19:39

mrfart: May 26, 2004; Dear diary, today I
became a captain.

The Nastier Nate posted:

Hello, I'm The Nastier Nate, or as some of you have dubbed me -
father goose!

Attention goons, this is mother goose, the following cars have been broken into:

# ? Oct 26, 2014 19:44

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

mrfart posted:

Attention goons, this is mother goose, the following cars have been broken into:

Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

# ? Oct 26, 2014 20:04

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

CharlieFoxtrot posted:

Hens love roosters, geese love ganders, everyone else loves Ned Flanders!

Not me.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 20:07

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

MondayHotDog posted:

Not me.

Everyone who counts loves Ned Flanders!

# ? Oct 26, 2014 20:15

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Root Bear posted:

# ? Oct 26, 2014 20:24

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

TMMadman posted:

# ? Oct 26, 2014 20:31

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

MondayHotDog posted:

# ? Oct 26, 2014 20:36

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

mrfart posted:

Attention goons, this is mother goose, the following cars have been broken into:

Attention mrfart! We have probated your goon.

Attention mrfart! We have also probated your older, balder, fatter goon!

# ? Oct 26, 2014 20:48

IMJack: Apr 16, 2003; Royalty is a continuous ripping and tearing motion.; Fun Shoe

mrfart posted:

Attention goons, this is mother goose, the following cars have been broken into:

This is Papa Bear. Put out an APB on a male suspect driving a... car of some sort, headed in the direction of... y'know, that place that sells chili. Suspect is hatless. Repeat, hatless.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 20:58

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

I'm on a road. Looks to be asphalt. Oh, jeez... trees, shrubs... I'm directly under the Earth's sun... now!

# ? Oct 26, 2014 21:03

Do over Ham: Mar 20, 2009

mrfart posted:

Attention goons, this is mother goose, the following cars have been broken into:

Welcome to the Springfield Knowledgeum. I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as 'Welcome to Springfield Airport', and 'Where's Nordstrom?'. While you're enjoying our hall of wonders, your car will be unfortunately be subject to repeated [fades out].

# ? Oct 26, 2014 21:18

Everything Counts: Oct 10, 2012; Don't "shhh!" me, you rich bastard!

Do over Ham posted:

Welcome to the Springfield Knowledgeum. I'm Troy McClure! You may remember me from such automated information kiosks as 'Welcome to Springfield Airport', and 'Where's Nordstrom?'. While you're enjoying our hall of wonders, your car will be unfortunately be subject to repeated [fades out].

Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube.

# ? Oct 26, 2014 23:25

Mira: Nov 29, 2009; Max illegality.

What would be the point otherwise?

MondayHotDog posted:

I'm on a road. Looks to be asphalt. Oh, jeez... trees, shrubs... I'm directly under the Earth's sun... now!

Kiss my asphalt.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 00:03

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

We'll be killing every human in two days.
We'll be killing every human in two days.
We will cook them.
We will eat them.
'Cause that's the way to treat them...

# ? Oct 27, 2014 01:38

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

Mister Kingdom posted:

We'll be killing every human in two days.
We'll be killing every human in two days.
We will cook them.
We will eat them.
'Cause that's the way to treat them...

You look those goons right in the eye and say "Don't eat me!"

# ? Oct 27, 2014 02:18

CharlieFoxtrot: Mar 27, 2007; organize digital employees

MondayHotDog posted:

You look those goons right in the eye and say "Don't eat me!"

Well, anyone who beats you up for wearing a shirt isn't your friend.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 02:19

Mister Kingdom: Dec 14, 2005; And the tears that fall
On the city wall
Will fade away
With the rays of morning light

MondayHotDog posted:

You look those goons right in the eye and say "Don't eat me!"

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 02:32

Jorghnassen: Oct 1, 2007; Glouton des fjords

Mister Kingdom posted:

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of canteloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you would at breakfast, but you get a good meal.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:34

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

Jorghnassen posted:

It's not quite breakfast, it's not quite lunch, but it comes with a slice of canteloupe at the end. You don't get completely what you would at breakfast, but you get a good meal.

You wouldn't want what he's eating. It's mostly snouts and entrails.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:41

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

MondayHotDog posted:

You wouldn't want what he's eating. It's mostly snouts and entrails.

They can't seriously expect us to swallow this tripe!

# ? Oct 27, 2014 03:52

Class3KillStorm: Feb 17, 2011

TMMadman posted:

They can't seriously expect us to swallow this tripe!

TMMadman is a grade-A moron! :newlol:

# ? Oct 27, 2014 05:08

Crackerman: Jun 23, 2005

TMMadman posted:

MondayHotDog posted:

I told him that picture would come back to haunt him.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 05:58

The Nastier Nate: May 22, 2005; All aboard the corona bus!

HONK! HONK!; Yams Fan

Class3KillStorm posted:

TMMadman is a grade-A moron!

Don't kid yourself Class3KillStorm, if a cow ever got the chance it would eat you and everyone you care about.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 06:19

twerking on the railroad: Jun 23, 2007; Get on my level

The Nastier Nate posted:

Don't kid yourself Class3KillStorm, if a cow ever got the chance it would eat you and everyone you care about.

They can't expect us to swallow that tripe!

# ? Oct 27, 2014 07:22

Jerusalem: May 20, 2004; Would you be my new best friends?

TMMadman posted:

They can't seriously expect us to swallow this tripe!

Skeesix posted:

They can't expect us to swallow that tripe!

First this Homer Nixon steals my Do over Ham, and now Skeesix and TMMadman won't stay out of my cooler! :mad:

# ? Oct 27, 2014 07:35

Monday_: Feb 18, 2006; Worked-up silent dork without sex ability seeks oblivion and demise.; The Great Twist

Jerusalem posted:

First this Homer Nixon steals my Do over Ham, and now Skeesix and TMMadman won't stay out of my cooler!

You're drat right I'm gonna be pissed. I bought that quote at Pink Floyd's yard sale.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 14:01

Mira: Nov 29, 2009; Max illegality.

What would be the point otherwise?

It says here we're Ratt.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 14:09

Roark: Dec 1, 2009; A moderate man - a violently moderate man.

Jerusalem posted:

First this Homer Nixon steals my Do over Ham, and now Skeesix and TMMadman won't stay out of my cooler!

Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Jerusalem! "Oh, I can't go to prison, Roark! They'll eat me alive!" :nixon:

...say, I wonder if this Skeesix Nixon is any relation?

# ? Oct 27, 2014 15:44

PT6A: Jan 5, 2006; Public school teachers are callous dictators who won't lift a finger to stop children from peeing in my plane

Roark posted:

Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Jerusalem! "Oh, I can't go to prison, Roark! They'll eat me alive!"

...say, I wonder if this Skeesix Nixon is any relation?

I doubt it, sir. They both spell and pronounce their names differently.

# ? Oct 27, 2014 16:08