Kurrant posted:

Hey, I want in on this fun. Id like to join the WCW team.

Happyman posted:

WWF, there are incidents, please come and deal with them.

NewJack420 posted:

Right folks, all sober now and boy did I have a good time at the Hammerstein. This was easily was of the best nights I've had with ECW delivering big! You may have guessed that I had a few drinks before, during, and after the show so only caught the last dark match. It was the team of Tommy Dreamer and Billy Kidman (think they where announced as the Dream Team once, what a stupid loving name) taking on PG-13. Guess they didn't have time for them on the main show. Tommy got the crowd going with his extreme offense while Kidman finally got to land a shooting star press and get the win after losing all month! This match was all right, very least nice to see Kidman win.

---

The PPV started proper then, over the PA system we heard Paul E. screech his lungs out yelling "WELCOME TO ECW'S FIRST PPV! HARDCORE RISING!" Crowd started to chant e-c-dub as our first match kicked off, a three way dance for the TV title! Reigning champion Brian Lee defending against one half of the tag team champions D'Lo Brown and Barabas Jr.

The match kicked off with Barabas Jr. sliding out of the ring and waiting around outside, like the cowardly bitch he is. D'Lo tried to take it to Brian Lee but the guy just overpowered him, threw him round like a rag doll. Lee nailed him with a nasty looking spinebuster and went for the cover... 1... 2... wham! Chair straight to the back of Lee from Barabas who started beating on him, guess he was waiting for a good time to stop being a bitch (you'll always be a bitch Barabas.)

Lee just shrugged off the chair shots and he looked pissed! He ripped the chair out of Barabas' hands and smacked him hard, leaving him out cold. Lee was feeling pretty confident, until he turned round and got double drop kicked by a recovered D'Lo and Bobby Walker. D'Lo climbed the turnbuckle as Walker tried to hold down Lee for the Lo Down. Brian Lee out muscled Walker, grabbed him by the throat, stood up, and tossed Walker at D'Lo sending both crashing down onto the mat.

Lee was standing tall surrounded by bodies still fuming man, looked like a crazy person! He lent down to pick up D'Lo and Barabas both by their throats and pull them both up to their feets. He finished it off by lifting the guys up and hitting a double chokeslam! What was more sick was that he chokeslammed the two of them onto Bobby Walker! He flipped off Walker and then pinned both the guys at the same time 1, 2, 3. "Bulldzoer" Brian Lee retained the TV Championship and man he did look like a Bulldozer, more like a Killdozer!

Lee wasn't finished though, he took the chair and started to wail on all three guys yelling "DON'T YOU EVER MESS WITH ME! I WON YOU HEAR ME! I WON!" Jim Molineaux tried to stop him but Lee just went straight for his throat, he was setting him up for a Prime Time Slam...

OH poo poo!

Lee stopped dead in his tracks as he let go of Molineaux, he stood in the middle of the ring chair at the ready. Natural Born Killaz was playing but we couldn't see New Jack anywhere... UNTIL HE CAME RUSHING PAST ME TO JUMP OVER THE GUARD RAIL, TRASH CAN FULL OF WEAPONS IN HAND! I WAS CLOSE TO NEW JACK! I MARKED OUT SO HARD BROS! Lee turned and was greeted with a trash can shot to the face, he staggered as New Jack just wailed on him with everything he had. Stop signs, baking trays, lunch boxes, a framed picture of the Blue Meanie as Razor Ramon! Finally he took the big man down as he then started to cut a promo.

"I said STOP, mothafuckaaaaa! You call that a gang war, what, cause you beat some rear end in a top hat who just came off a football field and a Puerto Rican? Hahaha, you poser motherfucker, there's only one gangsta in ECW and it's ME, New Jack! You already chased Mustafa out of here, but I'm a survivor! If there's any gang war in this goddamn company, I already won it! I'm keeping this belt! You want it back, you use your whatever the gently caress you said clause and come get it, you chickenshit pussy rear end in a top hat!" New Jack picked up Brian Lee's television title belt, dropped it in his dented trash can and made for the back.

---

Flash N' Kash came out to the ring, with microphones. Flash Funk starts talking. "Yo, yo, yo, hold on here. We're here, at ECW'S FIRST PAY PER VIEW EVENT, and look here Kash. You don't see anyone do you? No one had the balls to face us, accept our challenge!"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, Flash! I think that there has proven our point, gotten us some of that respect we so rightfully deserve! Hey Paul E! If you're watching in the back, I think we deserve our chance at becoming tag champs right now!" Ugh. This promo was painful.

Thankfully, things picked up when Jimmy Hart! Yes, Jimmy Hart came out! No Easy Way Out was playing over the PA. "Now just wait a minute you two, you say you're the best team out there? You're the number ones in the number one business out there! That you deserve a shot at the top dogs! Well let me tell you something folks, I'm not a man to disappoint the fans! You want a shot at being number one!? You've got it!" He finished and holy poo poo, Ken Shamrock and Shigeki Sato, the WWF Tag Team Champions came out! The crowd went ape poo poo, while Flash N' Kash looked like they both just shat their pants.

So it was the Legion of Violence versus Flash N' Kash. Man, was this one-sided. Kid Kash got some good offense on against them, taking them to the outside and bashing Sato into the guardrail, but the match quickly turned sour for him. There's not much else to write about here, unless you just want me to type "Shamrock and Sato beat the crap out of them" like twenty times. Ken Shamrock used his cage fighting skills to turn Flash Funk into a pretzel and got him to tap pretty fast. For what was basically a squash, this was actually a good match. Shamrock was the standout.

---

After they left the arena, Roddy Piper's music hit. Like the Sheik of old, and honking the horn the whole time, he came into the Hammerstein driving his brand-new Jaguar! The place just went nuts. He got out, leaving his car on the entrance ramp as he headed for the ring. "You wanted me! You got me! I'm Rowdy Roddy Piper, and I think you all STINK!" The crowd was going nuts still. I guess they felt honored to be yelled at by someone as distinguished as Piper. "You know, you people wouldn't even be here if it wasn't for... your hero... Terry Funk! But where is he now? UP! NORTH! Just like me and ANYONE ELSE with sense, 'cause they know this place is a GARBAGE PIT! Oh, no, not the Hammerstein. I'm talking about the SMELL wafting up along the Delaware from Philadelphia! Terry Funk knows that! That's why he isn't here! Terry Funk, he doesn't just stay Up North, no, he's gotta be worshipped. Yeah, just like a rock band who hasn't put out a good album since 1977, he's still big in Japan! That's the only place they're still gonna kiss his FAT, WRINKLY, DECREPIT, OOOOOOOOOOLD--"

--but then from the audience, someone in a trenchcoat hopped the rail! He broke past security, got to the ring, threw off his coat, and suddenly he had a baseball bat! But not just any baseball bat, a barbed wire baseball bat! OH MY GOD! IT'S TERRY FUNK! He brandished the bat threateningly at Piper and Piper backed away like he didn't want any of it. Terry Funk basks in the adulation of the crowd as the returning hero and former savior of the company in the mid '90s. He hopped out of the ring, going over to Piper's Jaguar with the barbed wire bat. He points the bat at the car. Piper was frantic, going 'No! No!' but it's too late - Funk took an exaggerated swing and he broke the windshield with the barbed wire bat! The bat broke, the barbed wire end rolling over the car and up the entrance ramp. Piper was flipping his poo poo in the ring! He climbed out of the ring and started jawing at Terry Funk. Funk reared up... and planted one of his famous punch combinations right on his cheek. Piper went down like a sack of potatoes. Funk shook his head like Piper wasn't even worth it. He picked up the shaft of the barbed wire bat and held it high in the air. Someone handed him a microphone. "I couldn't sit here and let Roddy Piper talk like that about the company that gave me back my career. Thank you all." Then he headed for the back. Piper was just staring at his car. He threw his hands up and got some security to push his car back up the ramp. The crowd loved Piper, but they loved Funk even more.

---

Next up was our number one contender's match for the Tag Team Championships. The Pitbulls taking on the team of Kensuke Sasaki and Satoshi Kojima. Pitbulls were out first being led to the ring with Francine, Pitbull A took some fan's beer as he walked past and drank it as they waited for their opponents. Out came Kensuke and Satoshi who got a restrained round of applause from the crowd, they got into the Japanese crowd mind set shockingly fast.

The Pitbulls didn't though. After Pitbull A throw his beer can at Satoshi nailing him straight in the forehead they both rushed out of the ring and started brawling outside, the ref called for the match to start anyway. Dudes, saying this match for four guys beating the everloving hell out of each other would be an understatement. Even better with the quiet crowd you heard every single hit through the arena, it was something else. That's mostly what the match was, couple of guys headed into the ring ever so often and scored some sweet hits on each other and tried for a pinfall, swap out for the next dudes.

The fighting eventually did head back into the ring where the Pitbulls started to get the upper hand using that dog chain and some distractions from Francine. Kensuke and Satoshi where giving back as good as they got though, pulling off all these sick rear end moves I'd never seen before! I think I should start watching some NJPW and AJPW, all the newsgroups tell me to. Satoshi was about to nail Pitbull 1 with this crazy looking over the shoulder piledriver thing until Francine ran in and low blowed him, giving enough time for Pitbull A to nail him with the chain. Both Pitbulls ran over and took out Kensuke and then set up Satoshi for the STFU. Man they were pulling on his neck hard with the chain, dude had to tap out. The Pitbulls are your number one tag contenders. Man all these men brought their game tonight, this was the second best match on the card!

After they got the tap out, Pitbulls kept beating on Satoshi! Francine was just pointing and laughing at the scene while Pitbull 1 went and held Kensuke Sasaki back. Pitbull A picked up Satoshi, climbed up to the top rope, and landed the Superbomb! Satoshi was totally laid out. Francine and the Pitbulls left up the ramp while EMTs came out to tend to Satoshi Kojima. I think that's the last we're gonna see of him for a while.

---

After Satoshi got carried to the back, we move onto our next match Sandman taking on Al Snow! Sandman came out first, a Singapore cane in one hand and a six-pack in the other. By the time he made it to the ring we had sung along to all of "Enter Sandman" and he had polished off 5 of the beers. As soon as he popped #6 the lights went out... when they came back on, Snow was in the ring and had laid out Sandman! No idea what happened there, it was creepy. Sandman staggered to his feet and told the ref to ring the fuckin bell! It was a fun brawl, Snow took control early but Sandman fought back. They used all sorts of weapons outside the ring, inside the ring, in the crowd.

Finally they got back in the ring, Sandman took over. He grabbed Head and taunted Al with it, which apparently was a mistake cause Al went crazy on him. Ignoring all the abuse he took earlier, Snow became a man possessed and laid Sandman out, choking and biting him like an animal. He paused only to check on the Head, which apparently reminded him to win the match because he then went for a Snow Plow and the pinfall. 1-2-3 and it was over. A fun war between these two, built slowly and peaked nicely.

---

Joey Styles is in the ring before the main event. "Kurt Angle has taken ECW by storm since he showed up last month, with his intense style and his undisputable wrestling skill. And very soon, we'll know what the future of this company is. Will it lay with the Franchise, the icon of Extreme, the very man who began the revolution of Extreme in 1994, Shane Douglas, or will it lay with the three-time NCAA Division I All-American, 1996 Olympic gold medalist in freestyle wrestling, and..." Joey looked disgusted in a way that only he can. "...hero to millions, Kurt Angle?"

A short video played featuring clips of Douglas' victories and Angle's victories while parts of Douglas' infamous promo at the 1994 NWA title tournament played in the background. "...in the tradition of Lou Thesz, in the tradition of Jack Brisco of the Brisco Brothers, of Dory Funk, Jr., of Terry Funk, the man who will never die... The Franchise, Shane Douglas, is the man who ignites the new flame of the sport of professional wrestling!"

The video concluded with Kurt Angle looking intensely into the camera, holding his gold medal in the air while Douglas' promo ended. "So tonight, let the new era begin: the era of the sport of professional wrestling, the era of The Franchise, the era of the ECW."

The opening snare drum of Born in the USA hit. Red, white, and blue lights shine around the Ballroom. Kurt Angle stepped out from backstage and onto the entrance ramp to an intense chorus of boos, wearing his gold medal and in an American flag singlet. Slowly he made his way out to the ring. He climbed into the ring and spun around posing, while the crowd started up a "gently caress you Angle!" chant. He seemed to feed off of all the hate flung his way, along with some of the trash.

His music stopped and the chords of Perfect Strangers started up. Douglas stomped toward the ring with purpose, wearing his belt around his waist, to enormous cheers. This one was going to get bad and fast.

"This match is one fall, with no time limit, for the ECW World Heavyweight Championship! Introducing first, the champion, from Pittsburgh, at a height of 6 feet 1 inch, weighing in at two hundred and forty four pounds, he is The Franchise, Shane Douglas!" yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay

"And his challenger, from Pittsburgh, at a height of 6 feet even, weighing in at two hundred and forty five pounds, he is the Olympic Gold Medalist, Kurt Angle!" booooooooooooo gently caress you An-gle, gently caress you An-gle

ECW World Heavyweight Champion Shane Douglas versus Kurt Angle.

Angle and Douglas went at it as soon as the bell rang, trying to pound each other into dirt. Douglas's strikes seemed more powerful, but Angle was worming out of any of the moves he was trying to do. And then it happened, Angle got behind Douglas, and he sent him flying across the ring with a release German suplex! Douglas rolled out of the ring to recover. He grabbed a chair from ringside. Angle was leaning over the ropes, screaming at him to get back in the ring and fight fair. Douglas responded by hitting him right in the head with the steel chair! He throws the chair into the ring.

While Angle's stunned, Douglas got a table out from under the ring and set it up in the ring. It stayed there quite a while as Douglas could never quite get him through that table. Many times Angle had him set up perfectly for a suplex through the table before turning away and sending him onto the mat, making the crowd angrier as the match went on.

Shane Douglas isn't stupid though, and Angle got too predictable with that. What is never allowed in amateur wrestling, but is allowed in street fights? When Angle was setting Douglas up for the third German in front of the table, Douglas kicked and gave Angle a low blow, right in front of the ref! That let him quickly pull off a switch and deliver his own belly-to-belly sending the crowd crazy! Missed the table though, he didn't want to take too long doing it so he didn't have time to readjust I guess.

Douglas went to stomp Angle, but Angle grabbed Douglas' leg and went right for the ankle lock! Douglas was screaming! Angle was cranking it and cranking it, but Douglas still managed to squirm his way around, kicking Angle into the ropes. Angle was fully in control though, he bounced back and got Douglas set for the Angle Slam! But Angle was right next to the table! Seeing the table there he hesitated, letting Douglas reverse it! With all his strength, Douglas screamed and got Angle up for a vertical suplex the other way, putting him down onto the mat! Angle just completely threw this match away!

Douglas was stumbling, in enormous pain from his ankle. He still managed to drag the prone Angle over to the table, getting him up on top of it. Douglas put Angle's head between his legs! He gets Angle's body up! Douglas' knees collapse and he piledrives Angle right through the table! Both men are in a heap! Douglas crawls out from under the wreckage and covers Angle with one arm. 1, 2, 3, it's over! Douglas retains the title! Angle had it won, but his hesitation in being "extreme" in throwing Douglas through the table completely cost him this match.

Douglas and Angle were both broken on the mat. The referee helps Douglas stand up, raising his arm and giving him his title belt. Douglas nearly collapses down as soon as the ref lets him go though. Angle still hasn't moved. EMTs come out and tend to Angle, while Douglas refuses help and limps out on his own to cheers.

What a show! Hardcore rose to the occasion tonight! New Jack! Funk! Legion of Violence! That main event! Easily as good as some of the big two's main events! Going to give this show a (E-)C+(-DUB)!

NewJack420 posted:

What a show! Hardcore rose to the occasion tonight! New Jack! Funk! Legion of Violence! That main event! Easily as good as some of the big two's main events! Going to give this show a (E-)C+(-DUB)!

xNarUtoRKOrton420x posted:

Fun game, guess why we picked D'Lo Brown and Barabas Jr. to be Brian Lee's first opponents. Winner will get a mention in our next write up*.

*Can not guarantee winner will get a mention in our next write up.

xNarUtoRKOrton420x posted:

Fun game, guess why we picked D'Lo Brown and Barabas Jr. to be Brian Lee's first opponents. Winner will get a mention in our next write up*.

*Can not guarantee winner will get a mention in our next write up.

RedGreen Usenet Report posted:

Raw came from Canada this week. Before the show, I caught HBK coming in and insulting the fans, before taking the empty chair of Roddy Piper on commentary.

Trailblazers/Doink, Vampiro, and Scotty Bollea, Stevie pins Scotty after the Drive-By bicycle kick

Right after the match, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QE-AnnnYqA plays... and Osamu Nishimura, formerly of New Japan Pro Wrestling, comes out, with an octopus mask! Nishimura tries to talk to Taz, but is interrupted by Ahmed Johnson who have a war of sounds and syllables. Taz deduces that both of them want to join the Trailblazers, and he decides that next week Ahmed and Nishimura will have a match for a spot in the group. They shake on it.

Pan-Am Title Mark Henry/Steve Corino, Henry wins by DQ when KKB attacks him.

A figure that resembles old-school big hat undertaker with the grey suit and tie walks out with an urn. He removes his wide-brimmed hat to reveal a crown of barbed wire. He's announced as the ECW TV Champion, Brian Lee. We don't get ECW up here, but I remember this guy from WWF in like 1994.

Brian Lee/Kal Kirby, Lee wins with the Tombstone. After the match, he adds insult to injury by opening his urn, dumping thumbtacks into the ring, and powerbombing Kirby into them. This was not particularly impressive.

Captain Lou's theme hit, and the Captain himself brought out Bradshaw and a microphone.
"NOW I WANT ALL A YOU PEOPLE TO LAY YO EYES ON THE BADDEST MAMMA-JAMMA IN THE WWF! HE'S BAD, AND HE KNOWS HE'S BAD! AN I WANNA SHOW YOU ALL JUST HOW BAD THIS MAN CAN GET, SO I CHALLENGE ANYONE TO COME OUT AND TRY HIM! PRESS YOUR LUCK, BUT HE'LL PUT THE WHAMMY ON YA!"
He waited a minute.
"Ha! Ain't nobody bad enough to take this challenge! They're all afraid a Bradsha-"
HE'S A MAN! SUCH A MA-A-AN!
The Real Man's Man Dave Taylor entered.
"Did someone say challenge? I seem to remember Bradshaw costing me not one but two shots at the Intercontinental title, which at the time was held by your client Jerry Lynn, and tonight, I'd like to exact a little revenge."

Dave Taylor vs. Justin "Hawk" Bradshaw, Taylor goes over with the Flying Ace off the turnbuckle.

HHH promo.
"Edge thinks just because he spent a little time in Pittsburgh, and learned to swing a chair, that makes him better than me, and better than the Power Trip. Well, I hope he remembers who sent him out of the WWF on a stretcher, and pray that this time he doesn't leave in a body bag."
Edge's music hit and he came out to rebut.
"Yeah, Hunter. I do. I think what I've learned makes me a whole lot better than you. Because I didn't just learn how to swing a chair, I learned a whole lot more. But that's for me to know, and you to find out."

Edge then beat Jerry Lynn decisively in a match, putting the former IC Champ down for the count with a Spear.

HHH goes into Vince's office, saying he scouted this really good wrestler and would like Vince to sign off on hiring this monster of a human being. Vince agrees, saying that while he doesn't personally like him, he clearly has a good eye for talent, and Hunter responds "Great! I'll tell her--" Vince cuts Hunter off. "Her? I'm sorry, but we don't have a women's division." Hunter replies "Yeah, but you gotta see this chick! She's more than enough to hang with the boys! Listen, if you're hesitent, I'll bring her in, and maybe you can sign off on a match. Joanna!"

Joanna walks in, and Vince is impressed, but tells Hunter to give him a week to decide. I'm not sure if I can eve describe her. I think she was even taller than HHH.

Angle is shown backstage talking to a mysterious person on the phone. "I'd just like to thank you, sir, for giving an American hero like myself a chance like this. And don't you worry, everything is right on track."

Angle/Tatanka, Angle wins dirty, getting a handful of tights after an Olympic Slam. This was the second best match on the show, I just wish it had a better crowd.

Then they played another hype video full of gothic imagery and graveyards. "Death comes for all things... at least that's what they say."

Paul Bearer promo on Undertaker with Kane and Tajiri beside him. He wants Undertaker and a partner of his choice to face Kane and Tajiri at the next IYH.

Jericho promo. "I proved at In Your House that I was a cut above Roddy Piper. Hell, just look at commentary, you'll see what I mean. I busted up the Hot Rod so hard that he's not cleared to even sit in a chair and talk. In his place tonight, you see one of the best wrestlers in this entire federa-"

HBK gets up from commentary.

"One of? ONE OF? I am THE BEST wrestler in this entire company! I am the Heartbreak Kid, I am the Main Event, and I am the Showstopper! So there are no qualifiers, there is no subjectivity, and there is no denying that I am the best around."

"Well, we'll just ee about that. Tonight, I'm gonna take on a project you just could not finish. I'm gonna take out Mankind. After that, we'll see who's the best." Jericho drops the mic and HBK returns to commentary.

Pillman vs Warrior for a shot at Goldust's title is next. Pillman comes out swinging, literally. He hits a clothesline on Warrior and goes straight for the pin. Warrior kicks out before the ref is even in position. Pillman just smirks, and goes back on the offensive.

Pillman keeps on Warrior, never giving him a chance to catch his breath. As soon as one attack is done, he's prepped for another. Despite going full force, he's not tiring as fast as Warrior, who is struggling to keep up.

As he goes for another clothesline, though, Warrior ducks and sends him over the ropes, giving him a chance to catch his breath. Pillman tries to go back on the offensive, but Warrior catches his strike and just slaps him in the face. Pillman and Warrior then fight back and forth, neither one having an advantage, when Hunter's music hits! Hunter Hearst Helmsley is standing on the stage, just watching. Warrior's momentary distraction catches up with him, as Pillman hits him with an Air Pillman, and goes down for the pin.

1...2...No! Pillman can't believe it! Warrior just barely kicks out at 2.999. While arguing with the ref that it was 3, Pillman is caught in an Atomic Drop by Warrior. Warrior goes for the pin.

1...No! Pillman kicks out at 1! He laughs at Warrior, and Warrior hits Pillman with a clothesline. He runs to the other rope and hits him with another! He goes back and forth, blasting Pillman with clothesline after clothesline, but Hunter is running to the ring. He gets past the entrance ramp...

...and walks into a Spear by Edge!

After Warrior hits a 10th clothesline on Pillman, he goes for the pin.

1...2...2.9! Pillman seemed down for the count, but he just barely survived. Warrior pulls Pillman up, hits the Military Press Powerslam, and goes for the pin.

1...2...3. The Ultimate Warrior is your #1 Contender for the WWF title.

Cornette, Vader, and Bulldog are arguing backstage.
"God dammit, Bulldog, if this year hadn't been bullshit enough! First I lose that drat title because you and Skunk couldn't take care of Hansen and Bret, then that little nugget of poo poo Owen keeps my title at Wrestlemania because you and Skunk were too busy with your titles, but now you've lost those titles? Do I have to carry this entire goddamn faction on my shoulders?"
"Hey, hey, that was all Skunk, I did my best!"
"Your best don't mean poo poo!"
Cornette separates the two.
"I think you guys need to work together, and I have just the plan..."

Chris Jericho vs Mankind starts with Jericho dominating Mankind with technical wrestling, with some pointed looks at commentary. HBK tries to play it off, but he's obviously irked.

Jericho tries to transition a wristlock into a vertical suplex, but Mankind blocks it and breaks Jericho's momentum with one of his own, following up with some stomps to the chest and a standing elbow drop before pulling Jericho to his feet and going for a piledriver. Jericho reverses into a double leg takedown, though, and wrenches Foley into the Liontamer!

Foley just barely makes the ropes, and delivers a few kicks to Jericho's legs to keep him at bay after the ref breaks up the hold. Jericho backs off long enough for Mankind to get back to his feet, but then rushes in with a spinning heel kick, knocking Mankind back into the ropes! Jericho grabs Foley and whips him to the ropes, but on the rebound, Mankind ducks a dropkick and takes the opportunity to lock in the Mandible Claw!

Jericho makes the ropes, and breaks the hold himself with a surreptitious kick to the groin, still tender after Goldust's attack at In Your House 15. Jericho grabs the doubled over Mankind and sets him up for the Canadian Destroyer, but Foley scouts it and back body drops him right into the ref!

The ref knocked out, Jericho grabs his IC title, and tries to waffle Foley across the face with it, but Foley ducks, and catches Jericho in position for the Double Arm DDT!

The weary Mankind makes the cover, but the ref is out! Shawn Michaels gets out from commentary, gets into the ring, and taunts his former partner to get up. As Mankind gets up, Heartbreak hits Sweet Chin Music! Jericho crawls onto Mankind as the ref wakes up and Michaels returns to commentary.

1...2...3. Jericho wins. As the ref raises his hand, he begins to gloat, provoking Michaels to enter the ring again and argue with him to end Raw.

That was a C+ Show. WWE's changed up a lot of things, but they just don't seem to get a crowd going at the right times.

AfterFather posted:

Colby Corino would only be a 1 year at this point

El Generico posted:

recent

El Generico posted:

A hint for anyone running the recent Real World data in TEW13: hire Colby Corino. Yes, he's Steve Corino's son. His stats aren't great but he's young so they'll improve every time you book him, and he is just the nicest kid in the world apparently because he has a great effect on the backstage environment, developing positive relationships. Tommy Dreamer took him under his wing in my game... I think you've done better, Colb, but it can't hurt.

Oh, and he's cheap as hell and can be developed into a useful talent.

EDIT: I'm highly tempted to put Colby Corino and Colt Cabana in a tag team just so I can call it C4.

EDIT2: I just barely got TNA (now called UCW) back to Cult size in time to renew my TV deal with Spike. It was right down to the last week. This game sure can be tense.

IcePhoenix posted:

AfterFather posted:

It would help if I read that all the way through. Didn't know we brought TEW talk here though.

Luigi Thirty posted:

You probably want the games thread unless you're another WCW time traveler.

CanadianCrippler5989 posted:

WCW Nitro this week was awesome! We're two weeks away from Slamboree, and I'm stoked as hell!

***
***

Chris Benoit opened the show, and he did it with new theme music! WCW's been springing for more licensed music lately, kind of makes me miss their lovely covers, but it certainly made Benoit seem like a badass. Chris talks about how Arn Anderson became a Champion though the power of fear. "Every man in that locker room feared the Outsiders. Some of them feared me. And more than a few feared the damage Arn could do to a man in the ring. He made examples out of legends like Ric Flair and Dusty Rhodes. He exploited the injuries of strong competitors like The Giant. And he made sure that every opponent knew it."

"Even when I was working for Arn, he expected fear from me. He tried to use it as a motivator so that his 'Enforcer,' could get stronger and keep him at the top. But because that's the kind of man he is, Arn Anderson threw away something that I don't offer easily: loyalty. He thought he controlled me through fear like everyone else, and treated me accordingly. He forgot that a Wolverine knowns no fear! And that's why tonight I'm going to wrestle, to hell with Arn's threats! I hope he's man enough to try and interfere in my match again. It just means I'm one step closer to getting my hands on him!"

Chris Benoit vs One Man Gang. Mitchell and Gang storm the ring and try to catch Benoit off-balance, but the Crippler easily counters his bull-rush offense with some brutal strikes and knife-edge chops. Benoit start working the neck, but Gang uses his superior strength and some coaching from Mitchell to power through and hits a series of body slams that leave Benoit wounded. Gang presses his advantage, stomping Benoit's chest, but when he stomps again Benoit grabs the foot and takes his opponent to the mat! Benoit mounts him and lays in a 10 count punch, then rolls into a cross armbreaker! Gang screams, resisting the urge to tap... long enough for Arn Anderson to rush the ring!

Arn slides into the ring at a full run, but Benoit had the perfect vantage to see him coming and releases Gang in time to get up and put the boots to Anderson! Double A gets a mudhole stomped in him, but Gang takes advantage of the distraction and grabs Benoit by the neck, picking him up for a double choke bomb! Gang goes for the cover, one, two, KICK OUT! The big man is clearly enraged and quickly runs the ropes looking for the 747 Splash, but the Rabid Wolverine rolls out of the way and immediately pounces on the fallen bulk to slap on the Crippler Crossface! OMG quickly taps out as Arn finally rolls out of the ring and makes his escape while Benoit celebrates.

***
***

Ciclope cuts a promo, with Psicosis at ringside. He says that for weeks, the fools in the audience have been blinded by Rey Misterio's flashy moves and Beulah McGillicuty's beauty, but his Eye still sees the truth: "Misterio's hopes for victory are nothing but an illusion. He can never jump high enough, move fast enough, or find a woman tempting enough to escape Ciclope's gaze, and in two weeks time his face will be revealed!"

Ciclope and Psicosis vs Disco Inferno and Ultimo Dragon. Ciclope was clearly out to make a statement in this match, and he and Psicosis absolutely brutalized Disco and Dragon. Their team chemistry was on full display, as Ciclope would use his technical and mat wrestling ability to leave Disco or Dragon completely helpless, and Psicosis would fly in from the apron and hit them with a moonsault or splash and get back out before the five-count.

Their strategy left the faces totally stymied. Disco managed a brief hope spot when he actually nailed Psicosis with the Chart Buster, but he was too hurt to capitalize and the heels were able to make the tag. Ciclope dragged Disco back from his corner before he could tag in Dragon, and locked in the La Calabaza Crossface. Disco tapped and gave Ciclope the win.

***
***

Prior to the next match, Public Enemy hoofs it down to the ring carrying one of their trademark tables... and the Thrillseekers come in with them with a table of their own! Christian Cage cuts a promo, saying that J+J+J stole a victory from them a few weeks back because they wanted to make a statement to the Tag Team Champions. Now, the Thrillseekers have a statement of their own: they won't break the rules to win like Winchester did, but they drat sure will do anything to win if the match has no rules! They challenge any two of the Jamses to a match at Slamboree, NO DISQUALIFICATIONS!

Johnny Grunge takes the mike. He says that he knows Commisioner Rick Rude is watching, and if there's one thing you can count on Rick Rude to do it's give a green light to a match that will make money. "Some might not believe that a couple of wet-behind-the-ears clean-cut kids like the Thrillseekers can bring the goods in a NO DQ environment. But Public Enemy has taken a personal interest in these rookies, and spent the last week training them in the ways of Hardcore. Tonight we've arranged a little demonstration, a No DQ match against opponents that specialize in brutality. If The Boss likes what he sees, we ask on behalf of our pupils not only to make the match... but to put the Number One Contendership for the Tag Titles on the line!"

Without further ado, Grunge introduces the opponents he arranged for this contest... The Heenan Family, led by the Merciless Meng!

The Thrillseekers and Public Enemy vs The Heenan Family(Meng, Bigelow, Shark and Morrus)! No Disqualifications! The No DQ nature of this match isn't immediately apparent, as Storm and Cage stick to their typical style of tagging in and out, alternating technical holds and flashy crowd-pleasing impact offense against Bigelow and Morrus. They clearly have the advantage... until Bigelow tags in Meng. The big monster absolutely batters Lance, using pure power to counter all his attempts at takedowns and shrugging off chops and kicks like they're nothing. A few power moves leave Storm totally out of it, and Meng stalks him looking for the Tongan Death Grip, but Public Enemy make the save with a double clothesline and double vertical suplex!

Christian seems almost confused that his teammates would just jump in and attack like that without being tagged in, so Johnny Grunge grabs him by the chin and starts shouting at him that this is No Disqualifications and it's time for them to stop screwing around and fight! Meng slowly recovers and Heenan orders him to tag Shark to make him the legal man and leave the ring. Meng is clearly unhappy by the order but follows it, and Shark comes in spoiling for a fight... but Grunge and Rock completely ignore him do a double suicide dive on Meng and Heenan!

As Public Enemy skirmish with the Merciless One, who clearly holds back trying to keep Heenan safe, Lance has recovered enough to make the tag to Christian, and tries to roll out of the ring. Surprisingly, his partner stops him and helps him to his feet. The Thrillseekers stand tall and call out the rest of Heenan family to an all-out brawl, and Bigelow and Morrus join Shark in the ring! There's a few seconds of hesitation, and then all five men launch into an all-out street fight!

Fists and kicks fly and the numbers game seems to be against the Faces as they're forced to their knees... until Christian takes out Bigelow with a low blow! The Thrillseekers take the advantage with only Shark and Morrus to deal with, and after laying them out they both go outside the ring, returning with a chair and a table! Lance clocks Morrus with the chair and throws him out of the ring, chasing after him to inflict more punishment, and Christian sets up the table then puts Shark through it face-first with the Showstopper! He kicks the broken wood out of his way and makes the cover to pick up the pinfall!

***
***

All three Jameses are in Rick Rude's office. Brian James attempts to argue that the Thrillseeker's match earlier means nothing and their team still owns a win over them, so they shouldn't have to wrestle for the contendership. Rude says he's spoken to The Outsiders and Hennig, and the Flawless Diamonds are completely in favor of the match. Since the Thrillseekers impressed him the match is on with the Number One Contender slot on the line.

Winchester says he shouldn't be surprised the Commissioner is doing exactly what his leash-holders want, but Brian quickly shuts him up and leads his team out. Rude's look makes it clear the comment struck a nerve.

***
***

Eddy Guerrero vs Perry Saturn for the TV Championship!. Ciclope, Psicosis and Saturn may not officially be a stable, but the fact that they're sharing their entrance music like one amuses the hell out of me. Similarly, thank god Eddy stopped sharing entrance music with his brother and nephew, he's clearly a main-eventer in the making. Anyway, this match was high-octane right out of the gate! The two men lock up and jockey for position, trying for an early suplex. Saturn actually wins out with a nice Pumphandle, and from there continues to target Eddy's shoulder and arm for a future Rings of Saturn. Eddy fights back by acrobatically flipping out of an arm twist and nailing an enziguri, then uses his good arm to lock in a cloverleaf! But with only one arm, he can't keep Saturn from dragging over to the ropes.

Business picks up as Saturn and Eddy both work the ropes, and Saturn dodges a rolling kick and hits a flying crossbody... which Eddy rolls through and turns into a cradle pin! 1, 2, KICK OUT! Saturn retaliates with a Russian leg sweep and climbs the ropes to shockingly pull our a springboard moonsault! He hooks the leg, 1, 2... 2.9! KICK OUT! Saturn can't believe he didn't earn the three, and positions Eddy for the Rings... and locks it in!

Eddy screams in agony as his wounded shoulder and arm are torqued relentlessly, but he refuses to tap out, and slowly rotates his lower body closer... his hand shakes as he resists the urge to submit... his leg gets closer.... and gets the rope break!

Saturn is completely stunned as he releases the hold, unsure of what he can do to put Eddy down. He picks Eddy up off the mat, and preps for another suplex... but Eddy blocks and lands a Vertical using his good arm! He spins his legs around to get back up, and lands a second! And then a third, the full Three Amigos! Eddy's face shows iron determination as he crawls his way up the turnbuckle, signals the crowd, and delivers the Frog Splash! 1, 2...3! Eddy retains the Television Championship.

***
***

Dusty Rhodes interviews Bobby Heenan, who is irate. Dusty asks if the earlier match casts doubt on his challenge to Rick Steiner, but Heenan says all the earlier match casts doubt on is whether the rest of his men are anything but a hinderance to Meng. "Meng was never in any danger during the match and brutalized any man he got his hands on, it was Bigelow, Shark and Morrus who failed to follow up! Believe me, when Meng meets Rick Steiner, he won't have anyone holding him back!"

***
***

In the ring, it's the Eric Bischoff Show! Elegant Eric's guest this week is The Giant! Bischoff has just one question: "Now, we all know you're not as smart as me, Big G, because nobody is. But Hulk Hogan has put away men who claim to be Giants for decades! What ARE you thinking?"" Giant says that he'd never compare himself to the likes of those Hogan crushed on his way to the top. He may be the World's Largest Athlete, but men like Andre were larger than life. ""That being said, I've got one advantage over all those Giants of the past. The Hulk Hogan I'm fighting now isn't really Hulk Hogan. One year ago, I was there when he snapped. When he turned on Randy Savage in our title match at last year's Slamboree, the man I grew up watching disappeared. And And the thing left in his place is so consumed by anger and fear and delusion, he can't even hear the boos of the Hulkamaniacs he betrayed. Beating Hulk Hogan is almost impossible. But beating whatever he left behind? That, I can do.""

Eric cuts to the phone lines, and surprisingly the first caller is not an insult or a toilet flush. "Hey, this is Terry from Florida. I was just wondering, if Mr. Giant thinks he's so great and Hulk Hogan has fallen so far from grace, why is it that he's spent so much of the past year looking like a chump? From WCW Champion to synonymous with failure seems like a much further fall to me than the fall from Hulk Hogan to 'crazy' Hulk Hogan. But hey, I'm no expert..."

Hulk Hogan suddenly appears from off-stage, a big grey brick of a cell phone in his hand! He continues his tirade through the speaker. "I'm just a legend the world over! Just a multi-time World Champion who's earned more money and won more title belts than any other man alive! Just the biggest icon in the history of professional wrestling! Just the creator of the ultimate force of nature, the greatest movement and philosophy since the dawn of man! That's right jack, I MADE HULKAMANIA, AND HULKAMANIA IS BIGGER THAN ANYTHING! EVEN THE 'WORLD'S LARGEST ATHLETE.' So, here's a question for your guest Mr. Bischoff! The same one I asked every arrogant little punk who even thought he was going to be the one to take me down. The question he's got to answer if he wants to beat me, and the question that every man I've asked before has failed! WHAT YOU GONNA DO WHEN HULKAMANIA RUNS WILD ON YOU?!"

Hogan and Giant stare down... and The Hulkster hits him with the cell phone! The two start brawling, and Bischoff screams for security to save his precious set from the collision. A small army of uniformed men pull the two apart before too much damage is done, but Hogan gives Giant one last Big Point on his way to the back.

***
***

Booker T finds Glacier and Hashimoto in the parking lot, enjoying the night air. He tells them he's looking for advice regarding the Yummy Mummy's attack since he knows from experience that Glacier is an expert on supernatural stuff. Glacier apologizes to Booker but says he knows nothing about that creature or why it might be after him.

Hashimoto suggest that in times of confusion and uncertainty, the best source of advice is often old friends. "In my experience, old friends are always either the best source of comfort...or the source of the problem itself." Booker thanks him for the advice, but on his way out mutters under his breath that he really hates freaks and mystics and should avoid them in the future.

***
***

Raven and Madusa vs Los Guerreros (Hector and Chavo)!The Guerreros are clearly fired up at their shot to get revenge for the previous weeks of torture, but Raven of course has Madusa start the match and neither Guerrero seems to want to be the one who fights her. Ultimately Chavo elects to go in, and he asks her to tag out. She responds by kneeing him in the gut, putting his head between her legs and delivering a power bomb!

Madusa doesn't give Chavo an inch, dropping a couple of elbows and then mounting him to deliver a few humiliating slaps to his face, mocking him for underestimating her. Chavo responds by rolling her up, which earns a two-count, then running the ropes to deliver a missile drop kick! The two wrestle in earnest from that point forward, as Chavo maintains his momentum with a few suplexes, but Madusa comes back by delivering a backbreaker, and then hoists Chavo onto her shoulders to deliver the Twisted Sister! She looks for the Black Wing Suplex, but Chavo is able to grab the ropes despite his dizziness to block, and then hit a mule kick that gives him enough space to make the tag!

Hector does not hesitate in the slightest and locks Madusa into an abdominal stretch, showing his veteran instincts by exploiting the damage from Chavo's kick. Madusa grabs the ropes for a break and fights back with a few kick variants, but Hector continues to work her ribs with quick strikes and holds until finally an opportunity presents itself to lock in the Gory Special! Madusa screams in pain, fighting not to tap out... just long enough for Raven to illegally break up the move with a top rope dropkick! The heels hurry back to their corner and make the tag while Hector is still dazed, and Raven crushes all hope with a methodical beatdown far from Chavo's corner. Hector is soon defenseless, and as Raven puts him into position he tauntingly extends his victims limp arm toward Chavo... just before dropping him with the Evenflow. He hooks the leg and picks up the three.

***
***

Backstage the Nation of Domination are holding a rally. Ron Simmons speaks to a bunch of nameless extras at a podium, hyping up Muhammad and Nelson who stand by his side. He says that the violence of the system is embodied by Team X-treme, and so they shall be rightfully crushed by the Nation's Righteous Fist. Simmons offers to take questions from the crowd, and the person he calls on asks "What is the Nation willing to do to win?"

Simmons confirms that they will do anything to win. "Are you saying you're willing to be... homicidal? Genocidal? Suicidal? Death-Defying? Because if you're not, I don't know how you can stop The Great Sabu." Simmons asks who this guy thinks he is, and the crowd parts to reveal The Great Sabu himself! Before the Nation can react, Sabu jumps off a conveniently placed chair and flies into Nelson and Muhammad, taking down both men! He bolts before Simmons can retaliate.

***
***

Booker T defeats Dan "The Beast" Severn. There wasn't much too this match, as Booker spent much of his effort keeping his distance from The Beast so he could play to the crowd... and more importantly keep his eyes open for an attack from Yummy Mummy. Severn's efforts at grappling were largely wasted on Booker, as his natural agility and flexibility made countering basic holds easy.

Seeing his lack of progress Severn switched to striking, but Booker's kick-oriented offense quickly wore The Beast down while keeping him out of reach. Once the MMA Legend was fatigued, Booker gave him a few knees to the gut and face, and finished the job with the Scissor Kick to pick up the pinfall.

***
***

In the catering room, Kid Rock is nursing a ham and cheese wrap when a stagehand in a ballcap walks by. The stagehand says "Better be careful Kid, I hear Kevin Nash makes a habit of beating down anyone he sees eating a wrap. Last thing you need is ANOTHER Diamond after you." Kid Rock snaps and starts clobbering the guy, saying "NOT THIS TIME PAGE! NOT THIS TIME!" Kid hits the Bullgod onto the concrete floor, then flips the hat off his assailant... but it's just a normal stage hand!

Kid is horrified at what he's done, and helps up his victim, calling for a trainer... until DDP crawls out from under the craft services table and nails him with a Diamond Cutter! DDP chuckles as he leaves both Kid and the stagehand passed out on the floor, and even takes Kid's wrap and chows down on his way out!

***
***

King Steven Regal cuts a promo in the ring as we head into the main event! Regal saying that because of Lex Luger's brutal, unsportsmanlike behavior last week Kevin Nash cannot wrestle tonight. "As a stalwart ally to the Number One Contender, it falls to your king to join Scott Hall for tonight's Main Event. We ask nothing in return for this, for we are a magnanimous king and happy to share with those of equal stature. And on a personal note, after the so called Total Package's disgusting behavior, we consider it our duty as the ruler of WCW to take him to task. We only hope that the Flawless Diamonds organization appreciate what it means to have our good will. And perhaps one day, should we have need, you might see fit to provide a favor for us."

The Main Event: King Steven Regal and Scott Hall (w/ Kevin Nash at ringside) vs Lex Luger and Sting! Luger and Hall start off, and as usual the sleaziest Outsiders does everything he can to beg off from Luger's offense, countering attempts to grapple with snapmares and Irish whips into nasty clotheslines. The Total Package fights back with knife edge chops and the inverted atomic drop, which leads to Hall hiding behind the ref so he can take a breather. Luger is clearly agitated after seeing Hall's cowardly tactics week after week and tries to force his way around the ref... which naturally allows Hall to rake his eyes without being seen.

With Luger hurt, Hall gets more direct and vicious, hitting an exploder suplex and following up with a second rope diving knee strait into a sleeper hold. Luger fights for all he's worth, but Hall keeps the hold locked in... but rather than starting to fade, Luger only get angrier! He forces his way to his feet with Hall still trying to choke the life from him, and drags them both to his corner, making the tag from within the Sleeper!

Sting comes in hot and forces Hall off his partner so he can start unloading with big right hands and a whip into the corner for not one, but TWO Stinger Splashes! But as he winds up for the third, Hall nails him with an elbow to counter then dives toward his corner, his long arms allowing him to reach Steven Regal and make the tag! Regal and Sting immediately lock up and The King hits a big Belly-to-Belly Suplex into a series of elbow drops to the spine. Sting tries to fight back to his feet, but Regal unexpectedly goes strait for the Regal Stretch!

Sting refuses to tap, making a long, desperate crawl to the ropes... only for Regal to drag him back to the center of the ring and reapply the hold! Again Sting fights with every drop of strength he has left, and this time he forces the break. He drags himself back to his feet using the ropes as a ladder... only for Regal to schoolboy him the moment he finds his footing! The ref starts the count from an awkward angle, and Regal takes a handful of tights! 1, 2, 3! Regal secures a dirty pin over the Stinger!

Lex checks on Sting after the match, as Regal's legnthy submission maneuver left him badly hurt. Sensing weakness, Regal leads the Outsiders in a brutal attack, beating down the two Horsemen. Regal directs traffic, and the Tag Champs set up Luger and Sting for a simultaneous Jacknife and Outsider's Edge, but Ric Flair and WCW Champ Randy Savage run in to make the save!

The Nature Boy and the Macho Man are quick to drive off the three heels, as they are clearly in no mood to fight and Savage is swinging his title belt looking to cave in skulls. Flair checks on his stablemates, and Luger looks absolutely furious at being caught off guard. Savage climbs the turnbuckle and hoists the WCW Championship, sending a clear message to Nash that he is not intimidated. Both sides stare down as the camera's go dark.

***
***

Great action this week but the midcard seems to be suffering a bit right now in terms of heat. Still, the main event more than saved it. I'd give this show a solid B-

Basic Chunnel posted:

Looks good to me, really enjoying the Nation / X-Treme direction (though giving Sabu mic time seems like a bad idea, heh). I'm still engulfed in twice-weekly projects for the next month so I'm still a ghost for awhile, unfortunately

Sanguinia posted:

Little formatting experiment this week. See if we can't make the show easy to browse results without having the matches just be 2-3 sentence summaries. Also, now incorporating entrance music to the write ups because stealing ECW's ideas is always fun.

AOL IS JERICHO posted:

Hello, and welcome to AOL! Is! Jericho!

Even if that jealous old coot Shane Michaels hadn't interfered in my match on Raw, I would still have beaten Mengkind! Because you know what? Stan was right! Eric Eargone was the weak link of the Heartbreakers! He is nothing but a choke artist who can never get it done in the clutch. I believe in the old saying, the enemy of my enemy is my friend, and that's why I'm here to say I'm allying myself with Steve McMichaels. I don't like him, but I sure do respect him.

Sanguinia posted:

Little formatting experiment this week. See if we can't make the show easy to browse results without having the matches just be 2-3 sentence summaries. Also, now incorporating entrance music to the write ups because stealing ECW's ideas is always fun.

Luigi Thirty posted:

From: newjack420@aol.com
To: alt.pro-wrestling.ecw
Subj: writers

yo i heard from some jerk on aol that ecw hired a bunch of wcw writers last month??
i know for sure that didnt happen cause ecw shows rule and wcw shows suk!!! mezlter is a hack (and not the good kind of hack like the sandman)


I mean, uh, ECW Hardcore TV will be up soon.

Skunkrocker posted:

Mother fucker you know I came up with that idea in WCW last season and it got vetoed until ECW started using it, probably because some ECW writers are former WCW ones and stole MY idea.

Damnit Sang.

(AZN)ElegantEric posted:

I got WCW Worldwide spoilers!

***

Cold Open right into a match! Rey Misterio, Jr. defeats Psicosis with the Misterio Express

After the match, Ciclope attempts to steal Rey's mask, but Misterio fights him and his partner off.

Glacier's first match back from injury! Glacier & Shinya Hashimoto defeat Kimo and Ekmo, Hashi picks up the win with the Kusanagi

Teddy Long promo on the Nation of Domination. He makes weird comments about how Ultimo Dragon is too close to Grand Dragon for comfort.

The Nation of Domination (Aaron Muhammad and Nelson X) defeat Steve Armstrong and Ultimo Dragon! Muhammad gets the pin with a corkscrew axe kick, very sweet.

The Lone Wolf also returns! Barry Windham defeats Mark Starr with the Superplex

Bill Alfonso promo hypes The Great Sabu! He says Too Cold Scorpio may be the brains of the team, but the Houdini of Hardcore is the teeth!

The Great Sabu defeats Dan "The Beast" Severn. His finisher was a somersault leg drop to the back of the head. Bischoff on commentary called it the Arabian Skullcrusher, it looked sick.

***

Nice little show, advanced the undercard feuds, but the matches didn't have much heat.

Sanguinia posted:

No Skunk we "stole the idea from ECW." You are the worst at thread kayfabe, why not just tell everyone the Navigators aren't really robots while you're at it? Yeesh.

Skunkrocker posted:

I thought at least one of the ECW writers was formally WCW. Looks like I was wrong!

...still stole my loving idea though, you jerks.

KungFu Grip posted:

Nation of Domination vs Los Borriquas vs DOA, Gang Wars. When do the LOD/Ahmed Johnson references show up?

Luigi Thirty posted:

I mean, uh, ECW Hardcore TV will be up soon.

Senerio posted:

E: Triplexpac too! Looks like it's just a WWF Writer's reunion!

Do not even ask posted:

triplexpac is ... ex-WCW

NewJack420 posted:

Sup dudes! Time for more of the best company ever! E C DUB! Lot of stuff happened on this show so let's get on with it. Managed to catch three dark matches this week, although I apparently missed this super hot chick just before I got there, bummer.

First one was a bit strange, Billy Kidman taking on Terry Funk? Funk won with a piledriver, it was an okay match although it looks like Kidman is back to losing.

Next we had Brian Lee facing Super Nova. Lee didn't have his title belt with him, as you can guess he looked rather sour about it. Shouldn't have messed with my boy Lee! Again another okay match with Lee picking up the win with a Prime Time Slam.

Finally we had Shane Douglas against Brian Lawler. Douglas had his ankle taped up, Angle must have done some serious damage to it and Lawler took full advantage of it during this match. Douglas made a comeback though and won with a Pittsburgh Plunge. Like the other dark matches, it was fine.

---

The main show opened with Kurt Angle coming down the ramp after Douglas kicked his rear end last Sunday. The guy next to me was singing "AAAAAN-GLE YOU loving SUUUUCK" to the tune of Born in the USA, but nobody was really catching on with that. His ribs were taped up, too. "Shut up! You people all know that if Douglas hadn't tried to make me stoop to his level, I would have killed him! I don't need to play anyone's way but mine. I followed the rules when I won... my gold medal (boooooo)... because I have integrity. Shane Douglas, all you proved last night was that you don't have any. I mean, I don't blame you, I was dominating you! You had to do what you did, because you know that if you fought the right way, there was no way you could beat me! I am the greatest _wrestler_ in the world today, and--"

No Easy Way Out started up! Ken Shamrock came out with Jimmy Hart! The announcers were hyping him up as the ultimate fighter, a master of every martial art out there, one of the toughest men in the world. Shamrock hopped into the ring, taking the microphone out of Kurt's hand. "I've had it with your whining, Angle! A real fighter knows how to use the rules to his advantage. You won't even throw a guy into a table in a match where it's legal! You're tough, I'll give you that, but they don't call me the World's Most Dangerous Man for nothing and I'm not afraid of you, Angle. If you're done whining about people not playing fair, you want to prove how tough you are against... real competition? Me and Jimmy Hart, we came up with an idea back in the dressing room. You and me, at Barb Wire City. Not in a match, but a FIGHT!" Oh poo poo, are they really going to fight? A "UFC" chant was going for a while, too. I mean as long as it's not a half-hour bullshit draw like that one I read about. The ECW crowd is bloodthirsty and a brutal brawl's right up our alley.

Angle got right up in Ken's face, furious and dropping the facade. "Do you want to see, right here, right now? I don't need a ref! Just make a move, Ken! Come on! You make--"

"I hate to interrupt..." Paul E. had appeared at the top of the ramp at some point! "But, Mister Angle, shouldn't you be getting ready for your match against Kensuke Sasaki tonight?"

Angle backed away from Shamrock hearing Paul E. He pointed out his taped ribs.

Paul E. shook his head. "Oh, a tough guy like you, that's no problem, right? You wrestled on Raw just this past Monday! And now you've got a match against Shamrock in... just three short weeks!" The crowd went nuts, another pay-per-view show already!? "You'll have plenty of time to recover. Don't worry, I'll get the paperwork for your match against Ken Shamrock finalized. Wouldn't want to... have to forfeit a fight on a technicality, would you?"

Angle looked pissed, Shamrock was laughing. "And if you beat Ken Shamrock I might just grant you a second chance at Shane Douglas. It wouldn't be... fair, to not let someone as dominant in the ring as our Olympic Hero try again, would it? It's the American way. Lord knows you'll need three or four more tries before it gets pounded into your thick skull that _you_can't_beat_Extreme_, and who am I to stand in the way of a man who wants to die in the ring for my entertainment?"

---

The first match of the main show was my man New Jack vs. Bull Pain. That big-rear end biker looking dude didn't stand a CHANCE against New Jack. Natural Born Killaz started over the PA and I was cheering for him the whole time! New Jack dumped his weapons (and the TV title belt) in the ring and kicked his rear end up and down the arena, took him outside and beat him with pie tins, trash cans, but most of all the TV title! It was awesome! I guess Bull Pain got in some offense too but gently caress him, New Jack rules. New Jack was about to go for the pin when the music skipped, what the hell? Everyone was booing and then a guy pointed over to the sound booth. It was Brian Lee, with his arm around the sound guy's neck! He lifted him up and chokeslammed the poor guy right onto the concrete! Lee messed with the sound equipment and Natural Born Killaz stopped, then he threw the CD into the crowd like a frisbee and was like "Oh, this yours?" New Jack was PIIIIIISSED! So pissed that Bull Pain tried to sneak in a quick roll up, jackass couldn't get the pin and in return got a chairshot straight to the face. He pinned Bull Pain, 1, 2, 3.

As soon as the bell rang, the other big-rear end biker looking dude Brian Lee came running from the sound booth toward the ring with a 2x4! My boy New Jack slid out the other side grabbing his belt from the trash. New Jack slipped and Lee caught up with him by a ring post. He swung the 2x4 at New Jack's head, New Jack ducked it and the plank broke over the ring post, sending sawdust everywhere! Brian Lee put it down to rub his eyes out giving New Jack a change to smack in straight in the skull with the title belt! Afterwards New Jack made his was out through the crowd. The ring crew threw his weapons back into his trashcan and carried it backstage. Lee recovered and went running after him through the fan. Yeah, he totally spared Bulldozer 'cause his weapons were all in the ring from kicking Bull Pain's rear end.

---

It took a few minutes but they got the sound stuff working again. Perfect Strangers started up and Shane Douglas came down the ramp. His ankle was still taped up and he didn't look like he was moving around very easily. Man, Angle and Douglas destroyed each other on Sunday. I guess Douglas got the worst of it, but he was proudly wearing his shiny title belt around his waist. Someone near me started up a FRAN-CHISE chant that kept going for a while. It's a celebration!

"The Franchise has reigned supreme once again! Last weekend, I proved to the world on our first pay-per-view in history that I am the best. I've been the ECW champion for over a year! You can't just come in here off the street from the Olympics or the football field and expect to beat me! This is EXTREME Championship Wrestling! If you're not gonna do everything you can to beat the guy in the ring with you, you better get the hell out of this company and this industry. You don't belong here." The crowd cheered at that statement.

But then Terry Funk's music hit and he came down the ramp, too! Douglas looked surprised but listened to what he had to say. "Shane Douglas, I respect you. When I came into ECW in 1994, it was to bring legitimacy to this fledgling organization. My name was attached to its legacy forever. I'm proud that people like you, people like Tommy Dreamer, that you're carrying on the tradition of extreme wrestling. But then I moved on. I'm with the Dubya Dubya F now, but don't think I'm here on behalf of Vince or anyone else up north. I'm here for myself.

"You call yourself The Franchise, but beating a fool like Kurt Angle and the kind of competition you've had over the past year doesn't mean that you can take on _any_ comer. I've held championships worldwide. I'm a living legend, but I'm not getting any younger. Before I leave this organization, probably for the last time, I want you to prove to me that you have what it takes to lead it into the future with a little tradition of old cowboys. I challenge you, Shane Douglas, to a Texas Death Match at Barb Wire City. One of us is gonna beat the other one so bad they get pinned _and_ they can't beat the ten count. If I win, your title and the legacy of Extreme goes with me, wherever I go, until I pass it on to someone else." (Some drunk next to me tried to start up a Cactus Jack chant but he got shut up.) "And if I lose, I will officially retire from ECW. My job'll be done here."

Douglas couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Maybe you didn't hear what I said, Shane." Funk pushed Shane to the ground! Shane went down holding the taped-up ankle that Angle had in the ankle lock so much last week! Funk shook his head. "I wouldn't challenge you like this if I didn't think you'd take me seriously. You've got 'til this time next week to accept." He walked away.

---

Coming out next was... ugh. PG-13. JC-Ice was rapping if you could call it that (I call it crap) while Wolfie D was just going "YO YO YO" over the mic, man these guys blow. No Easy Way Out then started to play over the PA and I'd never been more happy to see two massive gently caress off men before. PG-13 on the other hand looked scared shitless. Legion of Violence defeated PG-13. Man I'm trying to remember if PG-13 got anything in but I just remember Shamrock beating the two of them like it was nothing! Dude pulled off a Hurricanrana during the match, didn't know the guy could do those. He got the win with the ankle lock on JC-Ice, this was actually as good as their PPV match. Angle versus Shamrock is going to be insane!

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Before the main event, there was a quick video recapping the upcoming tag team championship match with Paul E.'s narration. "Next week, four men will step into the ring for the ultimate prize, the ECW Tag Team Championships. Have D'Lo Brown and Bobby "Hardwork" Walker grown complacent without a title defense in so long? Will the sheer brutality of the Pitbulls and their sadistic manager Francine overcome their will to win? Will someone be leaving this match on a stretcher... or in a body bag? See it next week, only on ECW Hardcore TV! Don't get the MSG Network? How are you watching this!? Call your cable or satellite provider and tell them that you want what's HOT in professional wrestling!" My friend watching at home said there was an ad for WWF In Your House coming to the area in a couple weeks too, but who the hell's gonna go to that poo poo? E C DUB E C DUB!

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The main was Kurt Angle vs Kensuke Sasaki. Aside from the Pitbulls match, I never heard of the Japanese dude with a mullet but the guy next to me said he killed a bunch of guys he trained with in Japan with his suplexes cause he thought they weren't working hard enough! Maybe that's why he came to America. Angle came out first to boos, taped ribs showing through his American flag singlet. Sasaki came out last to some good cheers, I guess everyone else knew the guy from NJPW. Angle and Sasaki got into it pretty well. Sasaki was working the injured ribs with stretches and suplexes with impact, but Angle would clearly have been the superior wrestler if he was 100%.

Sasaki had Angle in the corner and was chopping him relentlessly! Sasaki backed up and went for the running splash to cap it off, but Angle quickly moved out of the way. He grabbed Sasaki from behind and went for one German suplex, rolled through and landed a second, kept his grip but something gave out when he went for #3, forcing him to let Sasaki go. Sasaki quickly recovered his momentum and grabbed Angle's legs, he tried to put him into... I dunno honestly, some kind of KungFu Grip!? If he had gotten it locked in that would be the end of Angle! Angle was wriggling out of it as Sasaki fought to get it, his ribs obviously killing him, but he made it to the ropes and forced the break as the crowd booed relentlessly.

Angle was out by the ropes, looked like he had spent everything trying to get out of that grip. Sasaki took a quick breather before he went to attempt to lock in that grip again, but that crafty bastard Angle was just faking. He rolled on through and got hold on Ssaki's ankle. Sasaki tried to climb over to the ropes but Angle being the dick he is, kicked Sasaki straight in the dick! Ouch! He went down fast and Angle got the full ankle lock applied, wasn't long after that Sasaki tapped. Angle wasn't done though, he was still going. Guy wasn't letting go of that ankle, he wanted to rip it clean off. Officials from the back had to run out and tear Angle off Sasaki who was rolling around in pain. Before the show ended Angle looked straight at the camera and started taunting Shamrock. "I'M THE BEST! THE GREATEST! WORLD'S MOST DANGEROUS MAN SHAMROCK!? I'M GOING TO SNAP YOUR ANKLE CLEAN OFF!"

Man only three weeks away from our next PPV and two big matches already!? ECW going all out! Giving this show a (E-)C(-DUB)!

triplexpac posted:

Yep I'm ex-WWF and ex-WCW, and now I'm going to bring ECW to the top I swear to god. Now that I don't have to deal with the politics and the backstabbing I can let all my great ideas flow.