RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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Rohaq: Aug 11, 2006

Knormal posted:

I tried going without cable TV a few years ago but ended up going back. Most of the mainstream stuff I could stream or torrent, but I found what I really missed was the science specials on National Geographic, Science, and even the occasional non-crap show History or Discovery still lets sneak through. Most of those aren't streamed by the station's site, aren't on Hulu or anything, and aren't even ripped by the scenes. It might be better now, at the time steaming Netflix wasn't even a thing, but there's also something I appreciate about being able to have a TV on in background as white noise while I'm on my PC. That's a lot harder to do if everything goes through your PC, especially if you want to play a video game.

I've got a second monitor, I regularly have Netflix on one, and a fullscreen (preferably windowed fullscreen, to prevent resolution change attempts by Windows) game on the other with few issues - aside from having to hit escape, and hit "Continue playing" every now and again.

# ? Nov 10, 2014 12:46

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# ? May 21, 2024 17:44

AlternateAccount: Apr 25, 2005; FYGM

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

Prior art relates to patents, not trade-marks or copyright.

Oops.

Hey, they could just do what I did way back in Windows 95 and change the name to "Rubbish"

# ? Nov 10, 2014 17:01

n3rdal3rt: Nov 2, 2011; Grimey Drawer

Going back a day or two. I've tried to explain the Recycle Bin or Deleted Items folder to users before by comparing them to their actual physical trash can. If you throw something in there and the janitor comes by its gone, you threw it away. I've had a couple people tell me they have actually asked the janitor if they could get things back. :psyduck:

# ? Nov 10, 2014 19:03

punkr0csux: May 1, 2008

Gwaihir posted:

I have had multiple users say with a completely straight face to "OMG DON'T EMPTY MY DELETED ITEMS FOLDER IN OUTLOOK I KEEP THINGS I STILL NEED IN THERE."

What the flying gently caress.

This has always made me crazy. How would you learn that behavior, to treat a trashcan like a filing cabinet? I mean, do people follow up on poo poo they throw in their trashcan? Why the gently caress would you do it in a digital one?

# ? Nov 10, 2014 19:17

Serjeant Buzfuz: Dec 5, 2009

So, I recently took a job in a technical support call center for a small ISP, and here was a recent ticket we received.

"Good day ,

Again we are having issue with the VOIP telephones. Unable to make phone calls. Please do needful."

Obviously English isn't their first language, but 'Please do needful' just makes me laugh for some reason.

# ? Nov 10, 2014 21:04

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

My company hosts email and web for a law firm. One of the attorneys keeps getting his home IP blocked by the server for spamming bad email logins. We tracked down all of the devices with bad settings except one. He can't figure out which device it is, and he won't let us go there to troubleshoot it in person.

The solution suggested by our managing director: move the domain to a different server. He's putting his foot down about it, even after being told repeatedly that it doesn't address the actual problem.

I'm living in a joke about MS tech support from 1993.

# ? Nov 10, 2014 21:29

Migishu: Oct 22, 2005; I'll eat your fucking eyeballs if you're not careful; Grimey Drawer

More Lync woes:

Some clients have, after resetting their password, experienced account lockout issues not related to any of their mobile devices. We started suspecting Lync since e-mail was fine. Wiped the Credentials Manager and it was still blowing bad passwords.

Someone from local deskside reinstalled Lync. No issues so far.

Fix your poo poo Microsoft

# ? Nov 10, 2014 22:13

spankmeister: Jun 15, 2008

DaTroof posted:

My company hosts email and web for a law firm. One of the attorneys keeps getting his home IP blocked by the server for spamming bad email logins. We tracked down all of the devices with bad settings except one. He can't figure out which device it is, and he won't let us go there to troubleshoot it in person.

The solution suggested by our managing director: move the domain to a different server. He's putting his foot down about it, even after being told repeatedly that it doesn't address the actual problem.

I'm living in a joke about MS tech support from 1993.

Just whitelist his ip?

e: I mean it's a terrible workaround but it should work.

# ? Nov 10, 2014 23:00

DaTroof: Nov 16, 2000; CC LIMERICK CONTEST GRAND CHAMPION
There once was a poster named Troof
Who was getting quite long in the toof

spankmeister posted:

Just whitelist his ip?

e: I mean it's a terrible workaround but it should work.

Yeah, I did that while we were talking about moving the server.

I finally managed to convince him not to do it with a car analogy. Right now we've got the guy's wife alternating between his iPad and his laptop to see which one tries the bad login. Current status: it doesn't appear to be the iPad.

poo poo work, but at least it's not a pointless migration.

# ? Nov 10, 2014 23:09

Boogalo: Jul 8, 2012; Meep Meep

An email came in

quote:

I have a renegade mouse that scrolls and moves the curser around randomly. I have shown several colleagues what is happening and am convinced there is a ghost in my computer that may explain this and other issues!

So I put in the ticket...

This lady is new and has caused 20 tickets in month since she started. I might get yelled at, but really don't care anymore. We'll find out in the morning if she has a sense of humor.

# ? Nov 10, 2014 23:32

Mo_Steel: Mar 7, 2008; Let's Clock Into The Sunset Together; Fun Shoe

Boogalo posted:

An email came in

So I put in the ticket...

This lady is new and has caused 20 tickets in month since she started. I might get yelled at, but really don't care anymore. We'll find out in the morning if she has a sense of humor.

How difficult would it be to write a script to randomly move the mouse for a few seconds and scroll wheel up and down? I'm thinking you could do it in 10 minutes with C# and Scheduled Tasks. :getin:

# ? Nov 11, 2014 01:54

deimos: Nov 30, 2006; Forget it man this bat is whack, it's got poobrain!

Mo_Steel posted:

How difficult would it be to write a script to randomly move the mouse for a few seconds and scroll wheel up and down? I'm thinking you could do it in 10 minutes with C# and Scheduled Tasks.

2 minutes with autoit/ahk/powershell

code:

Add-Type -AssemblyName System.Windows.Forms
$screen = [System.Windows.Forms.SystemInformation]::VirtualScreen
[Windows.Forms.Cursor]::Position = "$(Get-Random -Maximum $screen.Width),$(Get-Random -Maximum $screen.Height)"

# ? Nov 11, 2014 02:02

TITTIEKISSER69: Mar 19, 2005; SAVE THE BEES
PLANT MORE TREES
CLEAN THE SEAS
KISS TITTIESS

I work for an MSP and one of our remote access tools is ScreenConnect. It gives you a four letter code to give the customer to join the session.

This happened today:

# ? Nov 11, 2014 17:39

A Shitty Reporter: Oct 29, 2012; Dinosaur Gum

Boogalo posted:

Deus Ex Mus

Check the USB slots on her computer.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 19:25

Sheep: Jul 24, 2003

Wilford Cutlery posted:

I work for an MSP and one of our remote access tools is ScreenConnect. It gives you a four letter code to give the customer to join the session.

That Google Chrome update that broke ClickOnce integration has caused me no end of headaches. Things were so much easier when I didn't need to walk people through downloading and running programs from the internet 101 for dummies.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 21:20

Slate Slabrock: Sep 12, 2009; Grimey Drawer

Migishu posted:

More Lync woes:

Some clients have, after resetting their password, experienced account lockout issues not related to any of their mobile devices. We started suspecting Lync since e-mail was fine. Wiped the Credentials Manager and it was still blowing bad passwords.

Someone from local deskside reinstalled Lync. No issues so far.

Fix your poo poo Microsoft

I love you. I've been fighting with a team member over this all week.
:downs:

It can't be Lync! The user has to have a wireless device or something!
:confused:

But if we exit Lync completely, they stop getting locked out.
:downs:

Nope. Gotta be something wireless. Or maybe they saved a password in IE....
:confused:

Buuut the lockout happens right after Lync launches and before they do anything else.
:downs:

Nope nope nope. You're wrong.

And that's usually when roll my eyes and wander off to find a printer to fight with.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:02

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Lync is terrible all round. It's been what, nearly a decade to try and get people to use IM and combine it with voice calling? It's still complete poo poo.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:07

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

Well thankfully Lync is no more and we'll only have the rolling green fields of Skype For Business from now on.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:12

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

I'm sure calling it Skype will make people more willing to invest thousands in the licensing and implementation.

"But...Skype's free!"

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:13

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

I really can't believe they went with that over changing Skype to LyncHome or something.

I guess it's demonstrative in its own way.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:16

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

Or just not renaming either. It's not like people in a position to need to know that Lync existed wouldn't have heard about it unless they changed the name.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:19

notwithoutmyanus: Mar 17, 2009

Inspector_666 posted:

Well thankfully Lync is no more and we'll only have the rolling green fields of Skype For Business from now on.

Holy gently caress, I thought this was a joke. It isn't? :psyduck:

They may as well have tried to go with "yahoo chat for business" or "yammer chat".

Microsoft has an impressive record in managing to gently caress up product names constantly.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:26

Polio Vax Scene: Apr 5, 2009

Rumor has it they renamed it Skype for Business because the word Lync was triggering too many people.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:27

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

Anyone have to go through a Microsoft SAM "audit"?

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:43

m.hache: Dec 1, 2004; Fun Shoe

Trastion posted:

Anyone have to go through a Microsoft SAM "audit"?

Completed one about 6 months ago. It's not terrible if you've kept up on all of your licensing and they probably won't look too much into it if you're a small shop. Just tell them what you're running and provide them any licenses they ask for.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:45

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

m.hache posted:

Completed one about 6 months ago. It's not terrible if you've kept up on all of your licensing and they probably won't look too much into it if you're a small shop. Just tell them what you're running and provide them any licenses they ask for.

Yeah we have about 50 users here. We probably need to buy some server licenses though. It's just a hassle and this isn't the time of year that I really want to be trying to fit something like that in.

They seem so adamant that it is not an Audit but make it pretty clear that if you do not give them the info they are requesting the lawyers will be called.

Microsoft's included FAQ posted:

We hope that customers will work proactively with us to ensure they have a compliant licensing position. However, given the great emphasis Microsoft places on protecting its intellectual property, for those organizations that don�t wish to engage in this process, a more formal communication may be made with respect to our licensing rights and your organization�s obligations under your Microsoft license agreements.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:51

m.hache: Dec 1, 2004; Fun Shoe

Trastion posted:

Yeah we have about 50 users here. We probably need to buy some server licenses though. It's just a hassle and this isn't the time of year that I really want to be trying to fit something like that in.

They seem so adamant that it is not an Audit but make it pretty clear that if you do not give them the info they are requesting the lawyers will be called.

I suggest you fill out the excel spreadsheet they likely sent you as accurately as possible. If you have any discrepancies they'll ask you to fix those us or provide them with the licenses in the event they are not stored under your volume license.

If you're a small enough shop they probably won't look further than that. I didn't even bother running the tool they provided because we're such a small shop I could just identify immediately our licenses and servers.

Sidenote: you'll likely be burned on CALs.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 22:55

Crowley: Mar 13, 2003

m.hache posted:

Sidenote: you'll likely be burned on CALs.

Over here they're currently all hot and bothered for SQL CALs and Office Licences.

Edit: and going after public customers. I finished one audit at my old place of work, and now I get to do another at my new place. :argh:

# ? Nov 11, 2014 23:20

dorkanoid: Dec 21, 2004

m.hache posted:

I suggest you fill out the excel spreadsheet they likely sent you as accurately as possible. If you have any discrepancies they'll ask you to fix those us or provide them with the licenses in the event they are not stored under your volume license.

If you're a small enough shop they probably won't look further than that. I didn't even bother running the tool they provided because we're such a small shop I could just identify immediately our licenses and servers.

Sidenote: you'll likely be burned on CALs.

You'll also get several rounds to fix any discrepancies - I think I filled that one out about 3 times before they were happy (they send a smaller version each time, with only the things that need to be corrected).

We even had one license that we didn't directly own, but we could reason that we paid for it, which they accepted.

(Small company, <20 users)

# ? Nov 11, 2014 23:20

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

Just run Linux on everything, problem solved. :smug:

# ? Nov 11, 2014 23:36

oTHi: Feb 28, 2011; This post is brought to you by Molten Boron.
Nobody doesn't like Molten Boron!.; Lipstick Apathy

ratbert90 posted:

Just run Linux on everything, problem solved.

Enjoy your Red Hat Subscription fees.

# ? Nov 11, 2014 23:38

anthonypants: May 6, 2007; by Nyc_Tattoo; Dinosaur Gum

Trastion posted:

Anyone have to go through a Microsoft SAM "audit"?

The company I work for did, starting in January. We didn't cooperate. We're also hilariously out of compliance on Windows and Office licenses.

But I started in August, so I'm not complicit :toot:

# ? Nov 11, 2014 23:56

Farecoal: Oct 15, 2011; There he go

Trastion posted:

Anyone have to go through a Microsoft SAM "audit"?

http://www.soundboard.com/sb/w4rr3n ??

# ? Nov 12, 2014 00:53

A c E: Jun 18, 2007; Is this weird? Is this too weird? Do you need to sit down?

Farecoal posted:

http://www.soundboard.com/sb/w4rr3n ??

Oh my god. The roflcopter one is the best thing.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 02:06

evol262: Nov 30, 2010; #!/usr/bin/perl

oTHi posted:

Enjoy your Red Hat Subscription fees.

Still cheaper. And we don't audit unless you're an egregious moron who's obviously violating your agreement.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 03:53

skooma512: Feb 8, 2012; You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

A call came in, plus two frantic emails wondering why I wasn't answering my phone.

Guy at the off site location got cryptowall. No backups. Everything on his desktop. It managed to creep into the shares. :cripes:

He's almost literally in tears and about ready to lose it. He simply doesn't believe me when I tell him that it isn't possible to recover his poo poo and thinks I can save the day. He actually considers buying the decryption key. People are overhead paging me because people on site have broken poo poo too. At one point I have two handsets against my head. There's no discharge in the war. There's no discharge in the war.

But here's the thing. While he went off air for a little bit, the guy finds the volume shadow copy method. Under normal circumstances CW will get that too. I've never needed to try it because people use the network shares we give them, so I didn't suggest it.

It loving worked... I call him later to follow up and he told me he managed to recover his stuff.

Now I have a reimage on my plate and I got network to initiate a restore on the shares.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 05:45

Dr. Arbitrary: Mar 15, 2006; Bleak Gremlin

skooma512 posted:

He's almost literally in tears and about ready to lose it. He simply doesn't believe me when I tell him that it isn't possible to recover his poo poo and thinks I can save the day. He actually considers buying the decryption key.

This isn't a popular opinion, but if you don't have a very good backup solution that you are dead confident in, you might want to write up a business case for buying bitcoins to pay a ransom. If you play your cards right, you might be able to piss off an executive enough that they say "I'm not going to be loving blackmailed! We're buying VEEAM even if it's more expensive!"

# ? Nov 12, 2014 05:57

skooma512: Feb 8, 2012; You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

Dr. Arbitrary posted:

This isn't a popular opinion, but if you don't have a very good backup solution that you are dead confident in, you might want to write up a business case for buying bitcoins to pay a ransom. If you play your cards right, you might be able to piss off an executive enough that they say "I'm not going to be loving blackmailed! We're buying VEEAM even if it's more expensive!"

We have Barracuda up there backing up the servers. It's luckily not managed by me at all. There is a backup solution, but he just didn't use it! He has a nice personal share that's empty, and shared folders with nothing under a year old.

# ? Nov 12, 2014 06:28

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

oTHi posted:

Enjoy your Red Hat Subscription fees.

I use Debian. :smug:

# ? Nov 12, 2014 08:06

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# ? May 21, 2024 17:44

DrAlexanderTobacco: Jun 11, 2012; Help me find my true dharma

skooma512 posted:

He actually considers buying the decryption key.

Well, that's because it actually decrypts your poo poo right? Of course it's the absolute last resort, but if the guy's *in tears* it might be a good idea to consider it.

(CryptoLocker definitely decrypts - not sure about *Wall.)

# ? Nov 12, 2014 08:46

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > RE: A ticket came in: Did they take the printer into the shitters with them?

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