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FishBulb posted:Both of my kids slept just fine in their own cribs after like 8 weeks. Nothing crazy or special or evil. Just lucky three out of four of mine did - 9 hours a night without waking. Then I had my daughter who woke up every two hours every night until 18 months.
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Nov 12, 2014 18:45
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Both my bio kids have had sleep issues. Our first literally never napped. He went 30 hours or something once without once falling asleep. It wasn't until I was pregnant with my second when I figured out which routine/process would work for him. Then I had my second, which threw everything out of whack. And then we took in a foster child, who was meth-positive at birth and his mom had no pre-natal care. I was bracing myself for another round of sleepless nights, but this kid is like a robot. In bed by 8 every night, naps at 11am and 3pm. He only cries when he's hungry, tired or needs a diaper change. He's healthy and thriving in every way! So I guess, do lots of meth and don't see a doctor and your kid will turn out awesome! 
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Nov 12, 2014 19:22
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Anecdotally, it seems like firstborns are better than the kids that follow. I know a lot of first borns who were told if their younger siblings were born first, they would have been only children because of how hard they were as babies.
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Nov 12, 2014 19:27
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Alterian posted:Anecdotally, it seems like firstborns are better than the kids that follow. I know a lot of first borns who were told if their younger siblings were born first, they would have been only children because of how hard they were as babies. All of my anecdotal experience is the exact opposite. Firstborns are a nightmare, second babies are chill as hell. I'm just really really hoping baby #2 is not harder than baby #1.
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Nov 12, 2014 19:31
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Same, first born is a probably gunna be diagnosed with ADD any day now energetic sassy monster, second is the calmest easiest thing ever.
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Nov 12, 2014 19:32
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hookerbot 5000 posted:What worked for me was putting Ellie in her own room. She was in a cot in our bedroom until she was 18 months, woke up constantly and ended up in bed with us every night. Since she moved out she sleeps in her cot from half 7 until half seven in the morning. She doesn't even need to be rocked or soothed to sleep any more - she fights to get into the cot. It's like night and day and life is so much easier now. She's been in her own room for over a year now, because we were always waking her up and vice versa when she had her bed in our room. I think maybe a toddler bed is in store soon, but I'm kinda dreading her being free-range, hehe. We're hiding the cat food when she's awake, but as soon as it's out in the open and unguarded, she's chowing down both dry and wet food by the fistful. I've also been on extended leave until now, so she hasn't started daycare yet. She'll begin in January, so I hope that she'll be more exhausted during the day from all the new impressions and stuff.
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Nov 12, 2014 20:07
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Our first is now five months old - it's been so much harder than I thought that we now don't plan to have any more.
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Nov 12, 2014 20:20
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I think it has something to do with when you get your first and what kind of life you've had before you had kids as well. We were pretty old when Anna was born, I was 34 and my husband was 38. We were used to doing whatever we wanted whenever we wanted, so at least for me it was a huge shock when I suddenly wasn't in charge of my own life anymore. I'm still not sure if we're going to have more.
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Nov 12, 2014 20:23
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CelestialScribe posted:Our first is now five months old - it's been so much harder than I thought that we now don't plan to have any more. We started our second one because the first one was so entertaining from 6 months to 18 months. Little did we know. I feel like I could have gone for three, and not even had to buy a new car, but work/tenure demands and such kind of kept piling up, and when the second one was out of diapers, the prospect of throwing away the diaper pail was so compelling that we kind of decided "ok, replacement is fine, no need to get all crowded" They turned out pretty ok, eventually. 
Slo-Tek fucked around with this message at 20:33 on Nov 12, 2014 |
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Nov 12, 2014 20:28
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Our little guy is three months and still up every 2.5-3 hours at night, but he's been going straight back to sleep after feeding lately, thank goodness. Would be easier if I wasn't exclusively pumping and didn't have to do that after getting him back to sleep every time, but eh. Every once in a great while he'll sleep 4 hours, so I'm hoping that will become more frequent. We still plan on having more, but next time we are absolutely splitting parental leave (we're in Canada). My husband is working and going to university right now so it's been rough on all of us. I've discovered that, though I love our son to bits, I'm really not suited to be a stay-at-home mom and I'm kind of going bonkers! I'm sure it'll get better once he's a little older and we can go for swim lessons, etc, but next time we're either both staying home for a few months or my husband will be the stay-at-home parent.
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Nov 12, 2014 20:36
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CelestialScribe posted:Our first is now five months old - it's been so much harder than I thought that we now don't plan to have any more. It gets less sucky and soul-draining the more interactive and "independent" they become. For me things gradually started getting better from around 6 months or so, and now at 16 months we have tons of fun. Having to take care of a tiny human being is still hard, but it's much more enjoyable than taking care of a tiny squalling meatloaf. We're only going to have a second kid because we want two actual proper children. I'm already dreading going through the baby phase a second time, since I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel with this one. I'm telling myself it's the price we have to pay to eventually have an older child. We've concidered adopting, but it seems really weird when we've already got a biological child and have no difficulties conceiving. "Yeah, we made your older sister, and we could've easily made another kid, but we chose to adopt you instead because babies suck!" 
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Nov 12, 2014 21:02
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CelestialScribe posted:Our first is now five months old - it's been so much harder than I thought that we now don't plan to have any more. Same here. Ours was the nightmare newborn from hell and she is still fussy (or a "Spirited Child"). In the first few months I regretted having a child at all!
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Nov 12, 2014 21:10
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photomikey posted:If I recall correctly, there are slimmer car-seats (or, presumably, one of your spawn is large enough to be in a booster) that will fit three across in a regularly sized (i.e. Camry) vehicle. This may not be possible in a smartcar, but replacing a car seat or two, while it might cost you a couple hundred, might save you $10k if it means not purchasing a new car. Unfortunately, our oldest won't be big or old enough for a booster by the time the new baby is here so we'll need one forward facing and two rear facing car seats. My husband suggested we just take two cars everywhere we go together but that sounds like a massive pain in the rear end. It looks like we'll either hunt for the right combination of slimmer car seats as you mentioned, or wind up trading one of our cars in and get something bigger that might be able to fit visiting friends and family when they're around, too.
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Nov 12, 2014 21:19
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Searching for the phrase "3 across" should help you narrow down your car seat search.
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Nov 12, 2014 22:09
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Diono Radians are the best seats I've seen recommended for 3 across. http://us.diono.com/convertible-to-booster/radianrxt
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Nov 13, 2014 01:17
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We have one son, and he'll be two next month. EVERYONE asks us when we plan on having another kid, and are always adamant that we should have at least two. Now, don't get me wrong, my son is the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I love him more than anything else in the world - but he's really freakin' hard work! We're looking for a nursery to enrol him in a few mornings a week, and I'm seriously looking forward to a little bit of 'free' time on those days (I work from home). I know that in all likelihood I'll miss him like hell after the novelty is worn off, but it's been two years nonstop at this point, and our batteries need a bit of a recharge. The thought of starting all over again with a newborn at this point is just......nope. That might change as kiddo number one gets older, starts school properly, etc. But for right now, my wife and I are quite happy to just have the one kid. Here's a couple of photos, just 'cos. :3  
Bardeh fucked around with this message at 06:12 on Nov 13, 2014 |
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Nov 13, 2014 05:56
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Bardeh posted:We have one son, and he'll be two next month. EVERYONE asks us when we plan on having another kid, and are always adamant that we should have at least two. People ask me that now and my daughter's 5 MONTHS old!
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Nov 13, 2014 07:30
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Well, I have a 13 year old, and one on the way. My partner says we should have one more after this, as he grew up with a close sibling. Heh, we'll see if he still thinks that in a few months.
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Nov 13, 2014 08:54
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greatn posted:My other question is why aren't all bus seats rear facing? It wouldn't require any extra space. Because it'd be far more difficult for the bus driver to supervise the children. In a perfect world, there'd be the driver, and then a second adult focused on keeping the drat inmates in line, but more often than not, the driver is not only needing to focus on driving, but also on maintaining order - that's the real safety tragedy there, I'd say. sullat posted:I think it's more that there's a conspiracy of silence regarding kids. Nobody reveals the gruesome details until it's too late. There are days where, I swear, if I just recorded some of my kids' behavior and distributed it to school health classes that I could singlehandedly drop the teen pregnancy rate.
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Nov 13, 2014 10:09
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Blue Moonlight posted:There are days where, I swear, if I just recorded some of my kids' behavior and distributed it to school health classes that I could singlehandedly drop the teen pregnancy rate. We just got back from a holiday a few days ago. Travelling through airports and on airplanes with a toddler has to rank up there as some of the most tiring, gruelling poo poo ever. It didn't help that he absolutely HAD to have his unwieldy red digger toy in his hand at ALL times.
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Nov 13, 2014 10:17
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Bardeh posted:We just got back from a holiday a few days ago. Travelling through airports and on airplanes with a toddler has to rank up there as some of the most tiring, gruelling poo poo ever. It didn't help that he absolutely HAD to have his unwieldy red digger toy in his hand at ALL times. We did this as well. To add to the 'fun' we decided to bring our airline approved car seat so that the little guy couldn't flop around while sleeping. It was a giant pain to carry past security but paid in spades when we were all able to sleep for almost 5 hours straight on the plane because mommy and daddy didn't have to worry about him rolling himself off of the seat while sleeping.
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Nov 13, 2014 12:37
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Blue Moonlight posted:Because it'd be far more difficult for the bus driver to supervise the children. In a perfect world, there'd be the driver, and then a second adult focused on keeping the drat inmates in line, but more often than not, the driver is not only needing to focus on driving, but also on maintaining order - that's the real safety tragedy there, I'd say. I should be easy to get bus supervisors. Just tell them if they can get the kids to make fun of them and put it up on youtube, it will go viral and people will donate you hundreds of thousands of dollars to make you feel better.
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Nov 13, 2014 12:54
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Blue Moonlight posted:There are days where, I swear, if I just recorded some of my kids' behavior and distributed it to school health classes that I could singlehandedly drop the teen pregnancy rate. The best birth control is going to a Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon.
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Nov 13, 2014 16:07
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Big Bug Hug posted:Well, I have a 13 year old, and one on the way. This way lies madness. I have a 13 year younger sister. You will end up with two only-children. It's really weird. And kinda fun. Later.
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Nov 13, 2014 17:24
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Sockmuppet posted:We've concidered adopting, but it seems really weird when we've already got a biological child and have no difficulties conceiving. That's actually what makes adoption all the more awesome. You could keep making babies, or you could give a home to a kid who really needs one. We have the option to keep making babies, but we decided 2 bio kids was enough and hey let's maybe help out a few kids who literally have nowhere else to go.
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Nov 13, 2014 18:44
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How the hell does anyone have more than one kid? It's boggling my mind. My five month old has made me question having kids in the first place, let alone having more. If I could go back in time, I probably would have decided not to have kids. It's pure, antagonising. I love my son but goddamn.
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Nov 13, 2014 20:35
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Some people love kids, others not so much. I have 2 brothers who have both decided that kids aren't in their future. My sister just wanted one. Personally I'd have a Duggar sized family if I could afford it. I love kids. I can't though so our plan is to raise the 2 we have the best we can, and then foster when we get older. I had a really messed up childhood, spent a little time in the 'system', so being able to foster some older kids who need it when I'm older is a plan of mine. I was 13 when I spent a little time in foster care and it was tough. If I could foster some teens when I'm older and maybe give them a little better start on life I would die a happy person.
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Nov 13, 2014 21:47
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I didn't want kids myself, never, even when my fiance said she was pregnant my first thought was "drat my life is over". But when they actually arrived into the world I changed my tune and I wouldn't give them up for the world. I think life is better now, more hectic and less free, but it's more fulfilling and richer in every respect.
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Nov 13, 2014 21:55
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CelestialScribe posted:How the hell does anyone have more than one kid? It's boggling my mind. My five month old has made me question having kids in the first place, let alone having more. I was like that too, but once they start walking and you get to watch them start to make sense of the world around them you think kids are the coolest thing ever and you sucker yourself into having another. And then the second child never ever sleeps through the night and you go back to that line of thinking that after 17 long months of exhaustion... not that I'm referring to myself or anything. On the plus side eventually the kids play with each other and leave you alone. My 3 year old and 17 month old can have some pretty good stretches of playing together, once she figures out how to run they'll be BFFs.
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Nov 13, 2014 22:25
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CelestialScribe posted:How the hell does anyone have more than one kid? It's boggling my mind. My five month old has made me question having kids in the first place, let alone having more. I was pretty skeptical about having a second, but it's the deal I made with my wife (she wanted 2-3, I wanted 1-2) so we did it. And it's tough having two kids but our first is hysterical and our second is adorable and shockingly easy. I'm definitely not having a third though. Also, you'll start to change your time as he gets older and starts turning into a tiny person instead of a stationary poo poo monster. It gets better 
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Nov 13, 2014 22:39
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topenga posted:This way lies madness. I have a 13 year younger sister. You will end up with two only-children. It's really weird. And kinda fun. Later. Yeah, but we're already mad and weird. 
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Nov 14, 2014 00:46
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Here’s kind of a random question: how much interaction or stimulation can a 2 or 3 month old reasonably take? I’m trying to figure out if I’m crazy, or if my parents are driving my son crazy, or a combination of both. Basically, my parents are super duper excited to watch Sam once a week for 3-4 hours at a time. He's 3 months old this weekend and this has been going on for about a month or so. It's very nice of them, but they also view it as nearly constant playtime (for themselves). They play music, dangle toys around him, etc. Non. Stop. I might be exaggerating because I’m currently dealing with the aftermath of one of these visits, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that if he’s awake, they’re doing something *at* him. Naps? Those aren’t any fun! When I get him back he’s a nightmare for the next day or so. “Nightmare” meaning extra fussy, overtired, raging against nap time and then sleeping through meals, etc. So whatever time I gained for errands/rest I lose twice over the next day as I try to get him rested and recovered. I’ve tried to gently remind them that “watching” Sam sometimes means watching him sleep, or that his typical day right now is a 3-hour blend of rest/play/eating/diaper changing that usually only totals about 30 minutes of active playtime before it all repeats. Next step is to be more direct: 30 minutes max of direct crazy-making activities, and after that leave him the gently caress alone. So am I nuts? When I get Sam on a regular routine he’s calm and happy and a dream to deal with. Is this just a matter of overall disruption, or are they wearing him out? I think I know the answer(s) but I’d love to know other people’s experiences with overtired babbies or overeager grandparents. At this point I’m ready to cancel these visits until all parties are able to handle things a little better.
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Nov 14, 2014 01:26
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No routines are important and basically how I've kept my kids awesome for the last 5 years. If they don't respect your routines tell them to gently caress off. Kids need naps and poo poo.
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Nov 14, 2014 01:30
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skipdogg posted:Personally I'd have a Duggar sized family if I could afford it. I love kids. I can't though so our plan is to raise the 2 we have the best we can, and then foster when we get older. I had a really messed up childhood, spent a little time in the 'system', so being able to foster some older kids who need it when I'm older is a plan of mine. I was 13 when I spent a little time in foster care and it was tough. If I could foster some teens when I'm older and maybe give them a little better start on life I would die a happy person. This is the coolest thing. I really hope you can do that someday, especially since older kids in the system have such a stigma. I decided since my two bio kids are still in diapers we'd take in an infant or toddler, so we could get all the diaper changing out of the way all at once. If we take in another someday, I'll likely try for a kid already potty trained.
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Nov 14, 2014 02:13
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Volmarias posted:I was pretty skeptical about having a second, but it's the deal I made with my wife (she wanted 2-3, I wanted 1-2) so we did it. And it's tough having two kids but our first is hysterical and our second is adorable and shockingly easy. I fear I may jump off a bridge by that time. I'm sick of being a goddamn butler. No joke, people have started getting annoyed when I answer their questions for advice on kids: "Don't have them". It doesn't just suck. It drains joy from your life. It's 5 percent rewarding and the rest is slow hell. Bah.
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Nov 14, 2014 02:44
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I knew if we were going to have kids that I wanted more than one, because I was an only child and it sucked!
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Nov 14, 2014 03:22
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CelestialScribe posted:It doesn't just suck. It drains joy from your life. It's 5 percent rewarding and the rest is slow hell. Bah. It's tough having a kid, but it shouldn't feel like a burden, especially once they start smiling and cooing and laughing. If it does, you should address that. I ended up having depression after having my first kid, and it sounds like you might be to. Go find a counselor or therapist and talk about it. Apparently 1 in 4 (possibly underreported) dads will have depression after they have a kid.
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Nov 14, 2014 03:25
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No money for a therapist! I doubt I have depression. Its just that everyone told me raising a kid would be fun despite the hardships, and actually no its just lovely as gently caress. Like if I have to sit there for one more goddamn minute patting my son to sleep. There are friends I haven't seen in six months. I'll never be able to go to the movies again - something I used to love. It just sucks. It's fun sometimes but overall, it loving sucks and anyone who says they enjoy this time more than they hate it is a goddamn liar. I just wish people were honest about it is all.
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Nov 14, 2014 03:30
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CelestialScribe posted:I doubt I have depression. quote:Its just that everyone told me raising a kid would be fun despite the hardships, and actually no its just lovely as gently caress. Scrape some money together and find someone who will work out a plan.
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Nov 14, 2014 03:33
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I've had depression. This isn't depression. Raising kids is just lovely.
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Nov 14, 2014 03:34
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