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Dads who are frustrated with parenting a youngster as a stay-at-home-dad (who have rung in above, on this page and the last)... I can't tell you how much it helped me to find a group of stay at home dads, and get out of the loving house a couple of times a week. I had done a couple of parenting groups (comprised of 19 moms and me), and the way moms interact with kids is vastly different than the way dads interact with kids. Then (because you're exhausted and depressed and probably not getting laid very often) you get really hard on yourself about how much parenting sucks. My SAHD group never once addressed these topics, but just being around a couple other guys who inherently think the way you do is a great uplifter, and the single thing that made me a successful dad. If you google "Stay at home dad $yourtown", you'll find a group, and as awkward as it seems, we would have people come and go all the time. Maybe it's because I was exhausted and downtrodden, but I don't remember my first get together being awkward at all, perhaps because you always have the kid to fall back on, and, it's like going somewhere with constant entertainment. Toddler gladiator.
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Nov 17, 2014 10:01
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greatn posted:Well what I just did that I honestly can't believe worked, I impaled grapes on the syringe, sprayed the medicine through the grape, which he then plucked off and ate with his teeth. I love that. For one glorious week I managed to trick my kid into eating proper food by offering her raisins speared on a fork, and when she opened her mouth, I put something else in there instead. sudont posted:Suggestions for teaching an almost 17 month old "Yes"? It does sound like you're complicating things a bit with the "do you want X or Y? yes or no?"-bit. Maybe just offer one thing at a time, and when you offer him stuff he wants, just repeat something like "Yes, you want a banana", and when it's something he doesn't want, "no, not banana". Or whatever. Apparently figuring out yes and no is harder than it seems, but they all pick it up at some point. I wouldn't worry too much about other adults understanding him, I'm sure he gets his point across in other ways  My kid is 16 months, she shakes her head for no, but doesn't say yes, but she gets props in kindergarten for being very easy to understand. If pointing at whatever she wants doesn't work, she'll physically drag people over to things, take their hand and put it to whatever it is she wants done.Re homework and teens: Do you know if they've tried talking to him about what the actual problem is? Is he lazy, disinterested, depressed, is his homework too easy, too hard, is he having trouble concentrating...? The solution does depend on the cause of the problem.
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Nov 17, 2014 12:43
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I love playing the "what do you want to eat for breakfast game?" since he can sort of talk and has definite opinions on what he wants to eat. "Do you want yogurt?" "Noooo..." "Do you want toast?" "Noooo..." What do you want?" "Baa!" "I have no idea what Ba means." Then he goes and grabs the half used can of refried beans out of the fridge. "You want beans?" "Yeah!" "Um, ok"
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Nov 17, 2014 12:50
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Hdip posted:I ask my just turned 2 year old. "Littledip would you like some grapes?" "No, grapes! ... Grapes please!" He just likes to say no first I guess. My 30 month old does the exact same thing. Alexandra, would you like some milk? NO MILK!!!!11 OK, no milk. MILK!!!111 WANT MILK WANT MILK
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Nov 17, 2014 13:25
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Volmarias posted:My 30 month old does the exact same thing. Dude, unless she's starting college at 215 months, your kid is 2,5 years.
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Nov 17, 2014 13:33
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I think most children's books just repeat No. I do t think I have one that actually teaches Yes. They're all like "Is the pumpkin under the leaves, duck?" "No!" "Is the pumpkin on top of the stump, goose?" "No!" Instead of a book where everything is wrong, how about one where everything is a tautology? "Is the cow an animal? Yes!"
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Nov 17, 2014 13:41
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Sockmuppet posted:Dude, unless she's starting college at 215 months, your kid is 2,5 years. There's a huge difference in what kids can do at 24 months versus, say, 34 months. I think that's why most people give answers in months until 3 years or so.
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Nov 17, 2014 14:29
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sheri posted:There's a huge difference in what kids can do at 24 months versus, say, 34 months. I think that's why most people give answers in months until 3 years or so. Yeah, there is a big difference between a 2 year old and an almost 3 year old, but I don't see why you can't refer to them as 2 year olds and almost 3 year olds in casual conversation. It's like newlyweds - for the first year or so, you state the length of your marriage in months, but if asked, you don't say "We've been married for 34 months", you say "almost three years". Also, get of my lawn, grumble grumble, etc 
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Nov 17, 2014 14:51
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Any tips on moving bedtime for a 12 week old? My daughter sleeps like an absolute champ but she is apparently 3/5ths vampire so her version of bedtime doesn't happen until 2-3am.
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Nov 18, 2014 00:15
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1up posted:Any tips on moving bedtime for a 12 week old? My daughter sleeps like an absolute champ but she is apparently 3/5ths vampire so her version of bedtime doesn't happen until 2-3am. Kids don't really develop a good sleeping routine until 24-30 or so, so I wouldn't sweat it at the moment. She's still trying to figure out this whole "outside of the womb" thing at that age.
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Nov 18, 2014 00:55
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I figured as much. I *love* how she sleeps, just not when. Oh well, the vampire life is no big deal.
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Nov 18, 2014 01:59
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Ugh, our just-turned-3 year-old (3y) claims the nanny hit our 1-year old (1y). 3y lies like crazy but either he's gotten better at lying or it really happened. I'm still 90% sure he's lying because our nanny is pretty great and yeah kids get better at things, but she is no perfect angel and could have snapped or maybe something benign happened that 3y thinks was the nanny hitting 1y. Hell is getting into the epistemology of toddler testimony. Most relevant past fib: 3y told my wife I pushed 1y down the stairs once after 1y bumped into me trying to climb the stairs and fell down a single stair. Anyway, I'm going to talk to the nanny tomorrow about it and see if she knows what he's talking about and tell her not to talk to 3y about it (I don't want him to know this stirs the pot any more than he may sense already), but NOT LOOKING FORWARD to that conversation.
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Nov 18, 2014 02:34
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pangstrom posted:Ugh, our just-turned-3 year-old (3y) claims the nanny hit our 1-year old (1y). 3y lies like crazy but either he's gotten better at lying or it really happened. I'm still 90% sure he's lying because our nanny is pretty great and yeah kids get better at things, but she is no perfect angel and could have snapped or maybe something benign happened that 3y thinks was the nanny hitting 1y. Hell is getting into the epistemology of toddler testimony. A few weeks ago our 3 year old was sent home for biting another kid at daycare. When I talked with him about it he claimed his teacher bit the other kid. I think projecting is just one of those things kids that age do. Obviously you'll want to talk to the nanny about it on the remote chance... but other kids do that too.
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Nov 18, 2014 04:06
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1up posted:Any tips on moving bedtime for a 12 week old? My daughter sleeps like an absolute champ but she is apparently 3/5ths vampire so her version of bedtime doesn't happen until 2-3am. It varies hugely how babies sleep at night, and I'm guessing (and hoping!) that you put her to bed much earlier than 2-3 am, but that she has her longest stretch of sleep from 2-3 am to whenever, which is totally normal. Just make sure that when she's awake during normal people nighttime that it's obviously night. The important thing sleepwise when they're little is to keep them from getting their days and nights mixed up - make daytime (i.e. normal person daytime) bright and noisy, and nighttime dark and quiet and boring. As long as she gets most of her sleep at night, you're on the right track.
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Nov 18, 2014 13:44
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sullat posted:A few weeks ago our 3 year old was sent home for biting another kid at daycare. When I talked with him about it he claimed his teacher bit the other kid. I think projecting is just one of those things kids that age do. Obviously you'll want to talk to the nanny about it on the remote chance... but other kids do that too.
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Nov 18, 2014 15:22
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1up posted:Any tips on moving bedtime for a 12 week old? My daughter sleeps like an absolute champ but she is apparently 3/5ths vampire so her version of bedtime doesn't happen until 2-3am. It wouldn't be a bad idea, if you aren't already, to really set your bedtime routine at this age. I've found that, with a solid bedtime routine, slowly shifting bedtimes to a more appropriate hour is much easier.
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Nov 18, 2014 19:04
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pangstrom, Just wanted to say how much I love your avatar. Duckling Gets A Cookie is my favorite. "I can't count the number of times I've asked for my own personal iceberg!"
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Nov 18, 2014 19:51
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AlistairCookie posted:pangstrom, Just wanted to say how much I love your avatar. Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus and Pigeon Finds a Hot Dog are constant library checkouts in our house. The MIL just sent us Pigeon Needs a Bath last night and the toddler immediately ran to his bookshelf looking for the "other pigeon books".
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Nov 18, 2014 19:59
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KiddieGrinder posted:My nephew is a teenager (is this thread ok for teens? I'm a bit late here, and Slo-Tek already hinted at it... but one piece of advice I'd give your brother is he shouldn't punish/reward based on outcomes. "Improve your grades" is such a nebulous thing that the kid might not even know how to do it. Instead, punish/reward based on behaviors he wants to see (or avoid). "Spend an hour after dinner every day studying XXX, or lose your xBox", "Read a book a week", "Watch a relevant Kahn video a day", "Spend an hour a week with me quizzing you" Those are a few examples of specific behaviors that are easy for a kid to understand, and will probably work towards the right outcome. I spent a decade in the k-12 educational software business and this was the most important lesson for us to learn to actually make products that helped kids. And I have no idea on how not to sound like a nosey rear end in a top hat. Maybe, "Don't know if it'll help, but I read this article that suggested..."
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Nov 19, 2014 18:21
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) and has had issues with his parents and school for a while now.
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Thanks guys! I appreciate the suggestions. I figured behaviour was something more important to focus on than outcomes (like dog training), so it's good to see I'm in the right direction. It sort of makes sense, to try and steer little efforts here and there rather than a huge insurmountable "at the end of this year your grades better be good!" monolithic goal. After all you wouldn't tell a dog "you better be rolling over on command like a champ when I get back from vacation, or else!", so why with a person? I'm still worried that because he seems to be always in trouble that it's less of a punishment and more just a lifestyle of sorts. Ah well, maybe I'll think of a way to have a chat with him or his parents. Thanks again guys!
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Nov 19, 2014 19:50
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Anyone have any good alternatives to medication therapy for ADD type behavior? Our 5 year old daughter a year ago was diagnosed with a central processing disorder which we went through occupational therapy to help resolve (and "Graduated" from after 8 months), and she sees a regular therapist as well. She's in Kindergarten now and she won't sit still, won't listen to directions, and ends up being separated from all the other kids from acting out on almost a daily basis. We've talked to her repeatedly, we've taken things away that she likes with the message that it's not okay, etc. and she does have a family history of ADD that runs heavily in the family on top of her mothers major anxiety disorder problems that the kid is already showing signs of having beyond the normal social anxiety's. She's showing heavy signs of both, but at the same time I want to always toss out "she's just being 5", but I can't make that excuse forever. My wife is very averse to the medication route and therapy seems to not be doing much, but the therapist doesn't like labeling kids with ADD before at least age 6, so it may be inevitable. I'd be open to any ideas for this as it's seemingly getting worse, and I tire of the daily e-mails from her teacher about her behavior and apologizing for it. We have a daily routine for her that involves a sensory diet for ups and downs that we do, but honestly it doesn't seem all that beneficial. We try to wear her out physically every night keeping her busy with activities and games so she gets it out of her system for school, but it doesn't seem to phase her energy level. She's bright as hell, but I'm running out of ideas.
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Nov 19, 2014 21:03
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Kodilynn posted:Anyone have any good alternatives to medication therapy for ADD type behavior? You're a LOT better off with medication and a happy child who isn't up to her ears in trouble all the time, than a 'clean' child who is always in trouble. If your kid can't keep her poo poo together in kindergarten, in spite of her own efforts, the efforts of her parents and her teachers, then you need to get that sorted out, and medicine is one thing that works for a lot of people. A few CNS stimulants are a lot better for you mentally and socially than being in the doghouse every day during your formative years. If it turns out you don't like them, you can always quit. Note further than an awful lot of adults and children both self-medicate for ADHD, a ritalin scrip is cheaper, more effective, and lower sugar than a venti moccachino. We exercised, coached, cajoled, punished, understood, one-on-oned, read up on, and generally worked the hell out of our wild child, and he spent all of kindergarten, and half of first grade in trouble, and he was really really unhappy at school, and unhappy at home, because schools are very good about putting it on the parents so that everybody in the house is getting punished. Then middle of first grade, after a discipline incident that was likely to put us on the track for expulsion, we took him to the shrink, got him on some ADHD meds, and the very next week he turned in his first all-green behavior card for a week in his life, and proceeded to do it every week for the next month. If your kid can't be happy in kindergarten, then an arbitrary "nope, you have to have a lovely life until you are in 2nd grade" rule is arbitrary and stupid. Alternately, pull her out, and try kindergarten again next year. My eldest is the youngest in his class by a good span, and we had to decide "do we sent him young, and let him have dicipline problems due to being young, or do we keep him back, and let him be the oldest kid in the class with dicipline problems for being older, stronger, and bored with the material" Don't know if we made the right decision, but I feel like generally if they can do the academics, they should go where they are challenged, and let the body catch up, rather than trying to redshirt your kid for kindergarten. It is case by case. Also, teach her to read. Lot of ADHD kids hyperconcentrate like awesome, so if they are up to reading chapter books, you can buy a lot of peace and quiet with "why don't you go to your chair and read a book, rather than messing with the other kids, or me, for stimulation" And have it be a reward that helps everybody, rather than a punishment. Slo-Tek fucked around with this message at 22:19 on Nov 19, 2014 |
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Nov 19, 2014 22:00
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Kodilynn posted:Anyone have any good alternatives to medication therapy for ADD type behavior? I was somewhat resistant to the idea of medication for my son at first. But then his stimming behaviors developed into self-harming stims, and welp. The change between unmedicated, and medicated was like night and day. If that turns out to be what's needed, it's kinder to your child to try a combination of medication and therapy, than just try to hack it with therapy alone. My son is severely ADHD (amongst other things), to the point where the therapy pretty much couldn't get through because he just couldn't focus. The medication brought him to a level where the therapy could start helping. He's now on four separate psychiatric medicines, but that's because he's got multiple comorbid issues that aren't really a "one medicine" sort of deal.
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Nov 19, 2014 22:23
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Awesome, thanks for both replies. I'm going to lean heavier on the medication route. We already pulled her out of school for a year because of behavioral issues. This is actually the second attempt. I think it's time to take the med route.
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Nov 20, 2014 00:53
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My daughter is turning 5 in a few weeks, and we're considering getting her a tablet as a gift. Not sure what to get, but the Kindle Fire HD7 is $119, and... how much computing power could a 5 year old need? Any thoughts on this?
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Nov 20, 2014 18:24
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photomikey posted:My daughter is turning 5 in a few weeks, and we're considering getting her a tablet as a gift. Not sure what to get, but the Kindle Fire HD7 is $119, and... how much computing power could a 5 year old need? Go with whatever Ecosystem you're already invested in. We're heavily invested in Apple/iTunes so we buy iPad's. If someone wanted a recommendation and didn't care about the ecosystem I would at this point hands down recommend the Kindle FireHD Kids edition. 2 year guarantee, kid proof case built in etc. The parental controls and Amazon Free Time are game changers for kids and tablets. If you're Android fans, take your pick. The Samsung Tab's seem nice. Tablets are awesome, I highly recommend getting your kid one. They learn so fast from the different apps.
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Nov 20, 2014 18:31
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photomikey posted:My daughter is turning 5 in a few weeks, and we're considering getting her a tablet as a gift. Not sure what to get, but the Kindle Fire HD7 is $119, and... how much computing power could a 5 year old need? I may be a puritan, but I don't think kids having their own electronics at age 5 is a great idea. We get a ton of use out of our Nexus 7's, but they are _my_ nexus 7's that are used with my permission when all the chores and homework are done and the rooms are clean and we aren't about to go do something else, rather than the kids tablets that I take away from them when they need to be doing any of the above, or paying attention to great-grandmother who won't be here much longer and so on. So, yeah, no problem with a 5 year old having access to electronics, but you may be better off letting them use Your electronics when it is ok, rather than taking away Their electronics when it isn't ok. Fewer squabbles that way, I think.
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Nov 20, 2014 18:36
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On the other hand... letting your kid have access to your device which may have important/sensitive things on it (and potentially cost a LOT more than something you would buy specifically for them) may end up with them accidently damaging/destroying it or getting into something that you don't want them to access/purchase. If money is not a big factor, I think purchasing electronics specifically for your kids to use is fine, but as Slo-Tek mentioned, you might want to set some ground rules for when and how long they get access to it.
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Nov 20, 2014 19:56
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My in laws gave my kid an iPad last year for Christmas. She plays games and watches shows on it. I can take it away when she's bad and she has to ask before she uses it. It works out fine and is pretty simple really.
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Nov 20, 2014 20:07
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Quick update on the craniosynostosis issue: My wife just had a follow-up for the xrays we had taken of Arden last week, and they apparently show absolutely NO issue whatsoever!  Now, we still have an appointment on December 4th at the Children's General here in the city (Montreal), for a second opinion, but I'm like.... 95% relieved.It does beg the question, though, as to why he's trembling here and there, but if it's just one of those things that happens to kids once in a while, I'm fine with that. So loving happy and relieved right now.
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Nov 20, 2014 21:26
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Congrats dude that's awesome. Glad your kid is doing alright.
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Nov 20, 2014 21:29
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Rupert, that's great!
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Nov 20, 2014 22:32
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flowinprose posted:On the other hand... letting your kid have access to your device which may have important/sensitive things on it (and potentially cost a LOT more than something you would buy specifically for them) may end up with them accidently damaging/destroying it or getting into something that you don't want them to access/purchase. If money is not a big factor, I think purchasing electronics specifically for your kids to use is fine, but as Slo-Tek mentioned, you might want to set some ground rules for when and how long they get access to it. That's what device profiles and backing your content up to the cloud is for. Amazon actually provides pretty explicit and granular parental controls on their tablets, something Android is more lacking in general.
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Nov 20, 2014 22:37
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photomikey posted:My daughter is turning 5 in a few weeks, and we're considering getting her a tablet as a gift. Not sure what to get, but the Kindle Fire HD7 is $119, and... how much computing power could a 5 year old need? I would buy the cheapest thing you can find on Dealextreme or Gearbest or one of those sites. Your kids don't care about technology brands, especially if it's Android you're after (if she's set on an iPad though, you're pretty much stuck on getting an actual iPad). This is $62 shipped and you won't be gutted if she drops it in the snow or whatever. That was pretty much the first thing I saw, so if you hunt around I'm sure you can find other options. e: the only catch is that the shipping from China isn't always the most reliable or fast, so it may not arrive in time.
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Nov 21, 2014 14:53
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My kid uses my old iPad. It's still mine, but if it breaks, oh well. Best of both worlds.
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Nov 21, 2014 15:01
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Well, it seems Colby doesn't like crawling. He'd rather walk. He can barely move forward on his hands/knees but he's already trying to stand. He'll stick his but waaaay up in the air, kind of squat back down then almost rock back, which isn't working well. The other method he's found to try is pulling his little car play tower thing down on top of himself. So my question is this: Is there anything I can give him or put in his little play nook that will help him stand on his own?
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Nov 23, 2014 17:00
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Gothmog1065 posted:Well, it seems Colby doesn't like crawling. He'd rather walk. He can barely move forward on his hands/knees but he's already trying to stand. He'll stick his but waaaay up in the air, kind of squat back down then almost rock back, which isn't working well. The other method he's found to try is pulling his little car play tower thing down on top of himself. How old is he? My kid also tried to skip proper crawling and go straight from the army-crawl they all start out with, to walking. But crawling comes with a host of benefits, from brain development to coordination and balance, so while we didn't try to keep her from standing and walking, we had to basically teach her how to crawl (it finally clicked when she was naked except for her diaper in a room with a very coarse carpet. She was uncomfortable when she tried to pull herself forward like she normally did, and we lifted her midsection up in a proper crawling position. Suddenly you could see her going: "Woah, this is WAY better!") As for something to pull up on, just make sure it's sturdy and won't topple over. We have a low coffee table, and kiddo did laps around it non stop.
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Nov 23, 2014 17:14
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Sockmuppet posted:How old is he? My kid also tried to skip proper crawling and go straight from the army-crawl they all start out with, to walking. But crawling comes with a host of benefits, from brain development to coordination and balance, so while we didn't try to keep her from standing and walking, we had to basically teach her how to crawl (it finally clicked when she was naked except for her diaper in a room with a very coarse carpet. She was uncomfortable when she tried to pull herself forward like she normally did, and we lifted her midsection up in a proper crawling position. Suddenly you could see her going: "Woah, this is WAY better!") He's 9 months. He can crawl properly, belly off the ground. He's just not very good at it yet. He still wants to go backwards more than forward.
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Nov 23, 2014 18:05
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Daniel skipped the whole crawling thing too, he's cruising now and standing on his own for short period, probably gonna be walking any day now. David which has lagged a few weeks to a month behind, he is crawling in the proper way. Strange really given they're identical twins. We think he saw other kids doing it and took the hint from there. I like Daniel though also skipped the crawling stage and I can walk without falling down.
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Nov 23, 2014 19:38
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Gothmog1065 posted:He's 9 months. He can crawl properly, belly off the ground. He's just not very good at it yet. He still wants to go backwards more than forward. I'd just encourage him to crawl more, when he gets the hang of it, he'll probably do it a lot more. I wouldn't worry about getting him something special for pulling himself up, when they want something, they figure out ways to do it  After two weeks kiddo would just pull herself up against the wall.If you want to buy something, every Scandinavian child has one of these. This is her at 9 months.  Yes, that's beer. She's got to earn her keep!
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Nov 23, 2014 19:45
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