Coding Horrors: You can gather all your technical debt into one easy framework!

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > The Cavern of COBOL > Coding Horrors: You can gather all your technical debt into one easy framework!

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Athas: Aug 6, 2007; fuck that joker

down with slavery posted:

My only question is why

Same reason that Node.js is as popular as it is - people are too lazy to learn a new language.

# ? Nov 19, 2014 22:11

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# ? May 16, 2024 00:03

Meat Beat Agent: Aug 5, 2007; felonious assault with a sproinging boner

I assume PHP Nightrain was named after Night Train Express

# ? Nov 19, 2014 22:12

Polio Vax Scene: Apr 5, 2009

Nightrain, named after the tears you cry into your pillow after learning it exists.

# ? Nov 19, 2014 22:25

rjmccall: Sep 7, 2007; no worries friend; Fun Shoe

Subjunctive posted:

aw, c'mon man, I can take it.

You were all getting the rule right, I didn't really have anything to add. :glomp:

# ? Nov 19, 2014 22:48

MrMoo: Sep 14, 2000

Athas posted:

Same reason that Node.js is as popular as it is - people are too lazy to learn a new language.

There is some benefit in code reuse, although there is likely to be too much copy & paste.

I think HP servers using Windows builds of PHP and some random server to provide server management is more of a horror due to the size of attack vectors and the shear amount of stuff running when idle.

# ? Nov 19, 2014 23:14

linusBorlaug: Aug 1, 2013

John Big Booty posted:

Coldfusion? You poor bastard.

Adobe ColdFusion in a codebase written mostly in the MX era. Just now switching to Railo and only because ACF 9 is at end of life and we're too cheap to buy licenses for 11.

# ? Nov 19, 2014 23:19

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Same as the apps that wrap a webview and ship a local-only node server as part of it; it's not the worst way to build an app, depending on how you feel about the languages employed. PHP and long-lived state could be exciting.

# ? Nov 19, 2014 23:24

down with slavery: Dec 23, 2013; STOP QUOTING MY POSTS SO PEOPLE THAT AREN'T IDIOTS DON'T HAVE TO READ MY FUCKING TERRIBLE OPINIONS THANKS

Athas posted:

Same reason that Node.js is as popular as it is - people are too lazy to learn a new language.

Well I mean I can kinda understand node-webkit and its ilk. But what the gently caress is PHP good for there?

# ? Nov 19, 2014 23:44

Munkeymon: Aug 14, 2003; Motherfucker's got an
armor-piercing crowbar! Rigoddamndicu𝜆ous.

down with slavery posted:

Well I mean I can kinda understand node-webkit and its ilk. But what the gently caress is PHP good for there?

For when you know PHP and don't feel like figuring out Node

# ? Nov 20, 2014 00:17

Soricidus: Oct 21, 2010; freedom-hating statist shill

Subjunctive posted:

Same as the apps that wrap a webview and ship a local-only node server as part of it; it's not the worst way to build an app

This is true, but only because the option exists to build an app with an Excel user interface driven by VBA.

# ? Nov 20, 2014 00:25

down with slavery: Dec 23, 2013; STOP QUOTING MY POSTS SO PEOPLE THAT AREN'T IDIOTS DON'T HAVE TO READ MY FUCKING TERRIBLE OPINIONS THANKS

Munkeymon posted:

For when you know PHP and don't feel like figuring out Node

Problem being that you're not building poo poo without Javascript... which is all you need to know to use node-webkit. There's really no "node" to figure out.

# ? Nov 20, 2014 00:46

DimpledChad: May 14, 2002; Rigging elections since '87.

poo poo, why stop at node-webkit? https://github.com/arturadib/node-qt

# ? Nov 20, 2014 01:53

_aaron: Jul 24, 2007; The underscore is silent.

Soricidus posted:

This is true, but only because the option exists to build an app with an Excel user interface driven by VBA.

I had an "internship" working for an insurance company for a couple summers during college. Their employee time-tracking system (ugh) was an in-house Access application driven by VBA. It was not fun to work on.

# ? Nov 20, 2014 06:37

Surprise T Rex: Apr 9, 2008; Dinosaur Gum

Soricidus posted:

This is true, but only because the option exists to build an app with an Excel user interface driven by VBA.

I was asked to maintain a Sage import/export thing written in Excel/VBA. It felt like coding in 1995.

The horror is that this wasn't a legacy piece of code, it was written a couple of weeks ago. On purpose.

# ? Nov 20, 2014 08:46

Westie: May 30, 2013; Baboon Simulator

DimpledChad posted:

Can't tell you how many times that's come in handy

[...]

because it never has.

code:

object["in"] = function() { }

gently caress IE

# ? Nov 20, 2014 11:59

Deus Rex: Mar 5, 2005

GrumpyDoctor posted:

JavaScript array indexing and JavaScript object property access are different things, despite having identical syntax.

No, they aren't different. Arrays (ignoring implementation details) are just objects whose enumerable properties are a subset of { String(x) : x in [0, array.length) }. It's in the spec (of course, implementations likely optimize storage of the common case of a full array).

DimpledChad posted:

I meant accessing an object property like foo['*&Q#$^*'].

I'm not really saying that in particular is a misfeature. It's actually sometimes useful to access an object property as a string. But if someone gave a property a name that could ONLY be accessed that way, I would punch them in the face.

That's exactly what f[0] is. You cannot access the index properties on a Javascript array with the "dot" syntax.

# ? Nov 20, 2014 12:19

JawnV6: Jul 4, 2004; So hot ...

Surprise T Rex posted:

I was asked to maintain a Sage import/export thing written in Excel/VBA. It felt like coding in 1995.

The horror is that this wasn't a legacy piece of code, it was written a couple of weeks ago. On purpose.

I have also seen VBA written in tyool 2014 intentionally. With the justification of "everyone has excel, not everyone has .net"

# ? Nov 20, 2014 17:51

Munkeymon: Aug 14, 2003; Motherfucker's got an
armor-piercing crowbar! Rigoddamndicu𝜆ous.

down with slavery posted:

Problem being that you're not building poo poo without Javascript... which is all you need to know to use node-webkit. There's really no "node" to figure out.

Hey man I didn't make the average PHP developer incurious and inept. I blame the parents :colbert:

# ? Nov 20, 2014 20:36

FlapYoJacks: Feb 12, 2009

HFX posted:

Embedded programming for fun and profit.

Sometimes I miss it, but then I remember all the headaches.

Let me tell you about inheriting projects with single 10,000 line main.c and a equally as large main.h :v:

I love embedded programming. It (can be) simple clean and efficient. I use those same habits in my user applications though, which is probably not a great thing. I very very rarely use mallocs anywhere.

On the plus side, I never have memory leaks. :v:

# ? Nov 20, 2014 20:49

Jewel: May 2, 2009

This was from a tweet that was meant to be bad but I can't help but share it here because I know you guys would get a kick out of it.

code:

public static DateTime getTomorrowsDate() 
{ 
    Thread.Sleep(24*60*60*1000); 
    return DateTime.Now; 
}

# ? Nov 21, 2014 13:31

Blinkz0rz: May 27, 2001; MY CONTEMPT FOR MY OWN EMPLOYEES IS ONLY MATCHED BY MY LOVE FOR TOM BRADY'S SWEATY MAGA BALLS

JawnV6 posted:

I have also seen VBA written in tyool 2014 intentionally. With the justification of "everyone has excel, not everyone has .net"

Keep in mind that the number of companies out there that want small features added to Excel is orders of magnitude larger than developers who could build something better for cheaper.

I hate writing VBA but sometimes it's just quicker and easier.

# ? Nov 21, 2014 13:39

Mogomra: Nov 5, 2005; simply having a wonderful time

Jewel posted:

This was from a tweet that was meant to be bad but I can't help but share it here because I know you guys would get a kick out of it.
code:
public static DateTime getTomorrowsDate() 
{ 
    Thread.Sleep(24*60*60*1000); 
    return DateTime.Now; 
}

But what about daylight saving time??? :confused:

# ? Nov 21, 2014 13:48

Sereri: Sep 30, 2008; awwwrigami

Mogomra posted:

But what about daylight saving time???

More importantly, what about leap seconds?

# ? Nov 21, 2014 14:17

TheresaJayne: Jul 1, 2011

Sereri posted:

More importantly, what about leap seconds?

that only affects if the code is run between 11pm and 1am.

The main issue to me is that the method name is wrong.

it should be getDateTomorrow() not getTomorrowsDate()

as it doesnt get tomorrows date, it gets todays date tomorrow

# ? Nov 21, 2014 14:23

necrotic: Aug 2, 2005; I owe my brother big time for this!

TheresaJayne posted:

as it doesnt get tomorrows date, it gets todays date tomorrow

my head

# ? Nov 21, 2014 17:05

EssOEss: Oct 23, 2006; 128-bit approved

Blinkz0rz posted:

Keep in mind that the number of companies out there that want small features added to Excel is orders of magnitude larger than developers who could build something better for cheaper.

I hate writing VBA but sometimes it's just quicker and easier.

I've always been intrigued by VBA. Normally, I use a "standard" programming language for all my computer-enslavement work but I can't help but think that for certain project management style duties, a few smart Excel tables would greatly make my life easier. Unfortunately, I have never found a good guide to writing VBA-enabled files. The tutorials I can google are all very narrow - "How to calculate an average" style things, no big picture view. Can you recommend anything to shed more light on VBA for me?

# ? Nov 21, 2014 17:22

baka kaba: Jul 19, 2003; PLEASE ASK ME, THE SELF-PROFESSED NO #1 PAUL CATTERMOLE FAN IN THE SOMETHING AWFUL S-CLUB 7 MEGATHREAD, TO NAME A SINGLE SONG BY HIS EXCELLENT NU-METAL SIDE PROJECT, SKUA, AND IF I CAN'T PLEASE TELL ME TO
EAT SHIT

TheresaJayne posted:

it should be getDateTomorrow() not getTomorrowsDate()

as it doesnt get tomorrows date, it gets todays date tomorrow

Don't be silly, it clearly gets tomorrow's date today, when today is tomorrow and tomorrow is today

# ? Nov 21, 2014 17:43

nielsm: Jun 1, 2009

Jewel posted:

code:

public static DateTime getTomorrowsDate() 
{ 
    Thread.Sleep(24*60*60*1000); 
    return DateTime.Now; 
}

This one would probably work better:

code:

public static DateTime getTomorrowsDate() 
{ 
    Thread.Sleep(24*60*60*1000); 
    var date = DateTime.Now; 
    Thread.Sleep(-24*60*60*1000);
    return date;
}

Making a Sleep function that supports negative values is left as an exercise to the reader.

# ? Nov 21, 2014 17:51

Polio Vax Scene: Apr 5, 2009

baka kaba posted:

Don't be silly, it clearly gets tomorrow's date today, when today is tomorrow and tomorrow is today

Today is yesterday* and tomorrow is today.

nielsm posted:

Making a Sleep function that supports negative values is left as an exercise to the reader.

Quantum programming.

# ? Nov 21, 2014 17:52

Mogomra: Nov 5, 2005; simply having a wonderful time

nielsm posted:

Making a Sleep function that supports negative values is left as an exercise to the reader.

Management posted:

I don't care! Make it happen!!

# ? Nov 21, 2014 18:02

Sereri: Sep 30, 2008; awwwrigami

Manslaughter posted:

Quantum programming.

Quantum leap programming :pseudo:

# ? Nov 21, 2014 18:11

JawnV6: Jul 4, 2004; So hot ...

Blinkz0rz posted:

small features added to Excel

This one implemented a PID control loop.

# ? Nov 21, 2014 18:16

Munkeymon: Aug 14, 2003; Motherfucker's got an
armor-piercing crowbar! Rigoddamndicu𝜆ous.

E: ^^

EssOEss posted:

Can you recommend anything to shed more light on VBA for me?

Trepanning.

But seriously you can use excel sheets as OLE data providers https://www.connectionstrings.com/microsoft-jet-ole-db-4-0/ so you can use C# that you can debug VS with actual grownup error messages and a debugger to do all (well at least most of) that poo poo.

# ? Nov 21, 2014 18:23

Ellie Crabcakes: Feb 1, 2008; Stop emailing my boyfriend Gay Crungus

linusBorlaug posted:

Adobe ColdFusion in a codebase written mostly in the MX era. Just now switching to Railo and only because ACF 9 is at end of life and we're too cheap to buy licenses for 11.

How's that going? I tried it 7-8 years ago and it didn't go well. Nothing went well, actually.

I eventually took that project off my résumé entirely, because I kept getting calls for cf gigs, and I'd rather spit-shine dicks behind a methadone clinic than ever do that again.

# ? Nov 21, 2014 21:05

linusBorlaug: Aug 1, 2013

John Big Booty posted:

How's that going? I tried it 7-8 years ago and it didn't go well. Nothing went well, actually.

I eventually took that project off my résumé entirely, because I kept getting calls for cf gigs, and I'd rather spit-shine dicks behind a methadone clinic than ever do that again.

It's my first programming job and beggars can't be choosers.

It's not all bad, I just spend a large portion of my time cursing my predecessors. I gather this is normal.

# ? Nov 22, 2014 00:06

nuvan: Mar 29, 2008; And the gentle call of the feral 3am "Everything is going so well you can't help but panic."

linusBorlaug posted:

Adobe ColdFusion in a codebase written mostly in the MX era. Just now switching to Railo and only because ACF 9 is at end of life and we're too cheap to buy licenses for 11.

Hey, at least your company actually upgraded from MX7 :cripes:

# ? Nov 22, 2014 00:40

Powerful Two-Hander: Mar 10, 2004; Mods please change my name to "Tooter Skeleton" TIA.

Munkeymon posted:

E: ^^ ^^

Trepanning.

But seriously you can use excel sheets as OLE data providers https://www.connectionstrings.com/microsoft-jet-ole-db-4-0/ so you can use C# that you can debug VS with actual grownup error messages and a debugger to do all (well at least most of) that poo poo.

Even Visio can do OLE now do I occasionally threaten people with creating some sort of data driven batshit live flowchart though secretly I want to do it anyway just to see just how bad it could be.

Edit: not a coding horror but the team next to me had an outage, turned out that there are ~25 apps on one server with a fixed 1gb of memory allocated to each, guess what happens during busy periods? Looks like our virtualisation guys need to start paying attention to their alerts!

Powerful Two-Hander fucked around with this message at 01:29 on Nov 22, 2014

# ? Nov 22, 2014 01:27

linusBorlaug: Aug 1, 2013

nuvan posted:

Hey, at least your company actually upgraded from MX7

You poor, poor bastard. I hope that thing isn't web-facing.

# ? Nov 22, 2014 03:33

Subjunctive: Sep 12, 2006; ✨sparkle and shine✨

Powerful Two-Hander posted:

Edit: not a coding horror but the team next to me had an outage, turned out that there are ~25 apps on one server with a fixed 1gb of memory allocated to each, guess what happens during busy periods? Looks like our virtualisation guys need to start paying attention to their alerts!

Or they need to put some RAM in the babby server.

# ? Nov 22, 2014 07:00

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# ? May 16, 2024 00:03

nuvan: Mar 29, 2008; And the gentle call of the feral 3am "Everything is going so well you can't help but panic."

linusBorlaug posted:

You poor, poor bastard. I hope that thing isn't web-facing.

Internal company tool. Also not the only CFMX7 app that we have, though I've never supported any but this and one other.

It has some 800 .cfm files scattered around the codebase, with some 2000 <cfquery>s. Guess how many <cfqueryparam>s there are?

Go on, guess.

At least it's under source control.

# ? Nov 22, 2014 08:36

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