Angry Fish posted:

Every Navy thread, PneumaticBook has to make his every other post a "guys, guys guys...huehuehue! this POSTER is a shitbag! guys! this IDIOT sucks at life," shouted into the echo chamber. I'm kind of sorry for responding to it.

Analogical posted:

South hasn't figured that out yet. We stand watch practically monthly and it makes no sense that the loving holdees don't do it since they do jack poo poo anyway for like three months and we get them weekly. The other chain doesn't even care if we worked mids, your rear end comes in for day shift with a two hour adjustment.

Stupidest poo poo. Reasoning for it is that we "don't act Navy enough" -CMC-that-came-from-the-fleet-and-isnt-and-has-never-worked-intel

They shake their heads at us like we're faggots for not appreciating Navy customs. If you want me to be a sailor then put me on a ship you stupid fucks.

KetTarma posted:

i wish i could compress the thousand+ hours i've spent on duty writing down unchanging specs every hour, put it into a syringe, and inject it into you

Pandasmores posted:

gently caress

PneumonicBook posted:

I mean nothing you said was false.

Now please stop using Tranet resources for thread making GBS threads.

E: how much time do you have left pandasmores? Eventually you'll forget the pain...or it will at least dull it.

Sir Lucius posted:

We had a CMC like that from the air community. "This command isn't Navy enough" is utter bullshit. I've heard people say, "oh you don't go on a ship? You're not even in the real Navy." Is it really so bad that our community isn't completely infected with rule-thumping retards who have never had an original thought in their entire lives? I don't think I want to know what the real Navy is like, because almost everything I've heard and seen that comes out of it has been negative.

This is what I think of when I think of the "real" Navy.

vulturesrow posted:

Mods!

Sir Lucius posted:

So it looks like the quarterdeck watch has pissed off enough departments that they're going back to it being staffed by those stuck in holding. This was pretty much the best news and now I can't use "gently caress duty days" as an excuse for getting out of the Navy. But seriously, gently caress duty days, they have no point at an intel command.

quote:

V/R|R/,
Fuckerson, Timmy
PO2, USN (Active)
Meaningless Convoluted Job Title
Equally Useless Division
gently caress-ups Department

Assistant Command Meat-Gazer
Command Collateral Duty Nobody Else Wants
Other Command Collateral Duty Nobody Else Wants

AS Information Systems & Underwater Basketweaving
BS Information Systems & Advanced Underwater Basketweaving (96cr hours, expected 2015)

Low-side Phone
High-side Phone
Low-side Email
High-side Email
High-high side Email

1234 COMMAND BLDG
loving ST.
STUPID CITY, FU 69696

"<INSERT CLICHE EDMUND BURKE QUOTE HERE>"

quote:

"v/r,
first/middle/last initial"

quote:

ADM Bill McRaven, USN
Commander, USSOCOM

ActusRhesus posted:

The longer the title the more meaningless the job.

buttplug posted:

Another thing. I have seen some stupid signature blocks in my time, but who the gently caress is teaching Sailors how to write the stupidest, most self-important, bullshit-rear end signature blocks? I am *literally* seeing poo poo like this on a regular basis:


I'm totally not exaggerating this poo poo. I'm thinking of one person in particular who literally has all of these things actually spelled out, and I'm probably forgetting a couple lines...but I keep seeing goddamn people with 20-25 line email signatures. Are they teaching this poo poo at Great Lakes or something? Or are they too busy teaching people to cheat on their PFAs?

Most 2-4 stars sign emails like:


Admiral loving McRaven - who motherfucking killed bin Laden signed emails:


That was loving it.

Do you really need to append a loving novel to every email?

Sir Lucius posted:

We had a CMC like that from the air community. "This command isn't Navy enough" is utter bullshit. I've heard people say, "oh you don't go on a ship? You're not even in the real Navy." Is it really so bad that our community isn't completely infected with rule-thumping retards who have never had an original thought in their entire lives? I don't think I want to know what the real Navy is like, because almost everything I've heard and seen that comes out of it has been negative.

Mr. Nice! posted:

I signed all of my emails to senior people with:

Sincerely,
Rank Name

because that's what the navy actually calls for in the social use and protocol handbook. I'd always just say Thanks! or something like that to anyone junior or my peers.

PneumonicBook posted:

E6 evals are being debriefed and from what I'm hearing brag sheets were mostly ignored. Also this CO didn't want to hear about college classes/us maps/cool/etc unless you got a degree or certification from it.

This led to things like a dude who's getting his masters in a few weeks being told he'd been coasting.

Clearly the eval system is totally fine though.

Pandasmores posted:

It's mandated at my command, and LPO would force me to do it. As a joke I have Warhammer 40k quotes about killing things and purity of mankind. Making fun of it with "Very truly respectfully yours" got a few laughs from people that hate that poo poo.

ManMythLegend posted:

Yeah, signatures are stupid.

V/r
LT MML
Billet, Command
SIPR: MML@SIPR.COM

That's it. If I want them to have my number I will give it to them.

quote:

V/r,
FIRST LAST, RANK, USN
TITLE
OFFICE

UNCLASS PHONE
UNCLASS EMAIL
HIGH-SIDE PHONE
HIGH-SIDE EMAIL

buttplug posted:

What loving command is that that *requires* that. I have never, ever seen a command anywhere encourage such absurd email signatures. The closest thing to that kind of toolbaggery that I've seen is FLTCYBERCOM(FCC)/C10F which has a specific format for their signature blocks and for whatever reason (as if anybody cares) forces now-civilian retired Navy to sign their emails with their rank (ret) like it actually holds any weight.

ManMythLegend posted:

SWOS did. Even for students. They loving checked...

Stultus Maximus posted:

lol you read that poo poo

Anyway, I go with
V/R
rank name
billet command

for everything because gently caress making different signatures for different occasions.

ManMythLegend posted:

The "Not the Real Navy" kind of poo poo can get blown overboard, however a lot of shore commands seem to forget that they exist solely to support the ships, subs, and squadrons that are out there doing whatever dumb poo poo the Navy told us to do. Let me tell you, there is nothing as loving infuriating as spending 24+ hours busting your and your guys' balls to try and do something, exhaust your capabilities, and then try to get ahold of a shore staff only to find out that they're gone for the day at 1430 or whatever.

If part of your duty day at an intel command involves being there to support RFI's from tactical units at all hours of the day, then it is absolutely not a bullshit requirement, and gently caress anyone for bitching about it.

buttplug posted:

Sir Lucius and I work at the same command (2300+ people) and I can tell you that we do not exist to support unit or squadron-level assets *parts* of the command are dedicated to exactly that, but the command as a whole is not. We're talking legitimate highest-priority national-level missions in MOST instances. Not an exaggeration. We (as in our command) is anomalous in that regard, but not every shore station in the Navy lives and breathes to support the Fleet (regardless of whatever bullshit political Naval spin CAPT Wants-a-star tries to put on his mission). There is more to the DoD than that, especially when the majority of our Navy isn't in 5th FLT lobbing Tomahawks into Syria, but doing drift ops/box ops in the middle of nowhere.

And while I fully empathize the rear end-pain and frustration of being at an operational unit and not being able to get a hold of Person X at Shore Command Y because it's 1530 EST (but o'dark thirty in your floating prison) and they're gone for the day, but that's the exception not the norm. That's why shore duty is there: to recharge your batteries. If the mission was legitimately that important, somebody'd be on a duty phone at the very least.

ManMythLegend posted:

If a ship at sea is calling a command, an office code at a command, for assistance the odds are extremely high that that command exists to support a deployable asset in some fashion.

Trust me, I am well aware of shore commands existing to recharge batteries after sea duty. But standing 10+ section duty to respond to assistance requests from deployable units is not really an onerous or arduous tasking.

So I reiterate, if you are at a shore command that assists deployable assets, then gently caress you for bitching about having to do your job.

Hekk posted:

If I were a junior sailor assigned to a ship and that ship was not at sea, would I still have to live on the ship or are there squid barracks or something?

buttplug posted:

Depends on the ship. It's different OCONUS (7th FLT) from CONUS. In 7th Fleet, single/unaccompanied E5 & below lived in the barracks. IIRC E3 and below had to live aboard the ship for their first 90 days.

E6 and above (and married folks) lived in either base housing or off-base depending on availability. But, that's also 5-year old info so...ask your sponsor?

bengy81 posted:

WAY TO OUT-GAY THE AF THREAD!!!!!!!

ManMythLegend posted:

As a relatively senior guy on here who has had to go through more ranking boards then I ever wanted I will give all of you some advice about evals, and that is the primary factor used to rank people is quality of work in your actual job with respect to how much face time you get with your primary ranking level^*. It's not bake sales, or CPO 365, or whatever the gently caress.

It doesn't matter how many off duty PhD's you get, or how much hard work you do in a shop tucked in some corner of the ship, the only way to break out from your peers is to do moderate to high quality in-rate work that your primary ranker hears about in person not a brag sheet. That's it. That's the secret.

Ever wondered why that guy who's eval is full of PFA scores and bake sale participation got ranked above yours which was full of hard data on repairs and operations? I promise you, with 100% certainty, that it was because whatever actual work that guy did in rate got briefed to his primary ranker more then yours did. The written body of an eval is almost certainly created after the rankings are decided, and so that dude who got ranked higher just gets a lot of fluff built in to fill it out and justify whatever ranking he got a priori.

I write this to tell you that, like most things in the Navy, the only person that can take care of you is you. If you honestly feel that you do better work then your peers then all you have to do is figure out who your primary ranker is and be up in their buisness about what you're doing. Make sure they understand that you are busy keeping them out of trouble and you will be rewarded. If you don't want to volunteer for bake sales or MWR or whatever, then don't. Just be more vocal about the hard work you already do.

^*: What I mean by primary ranking level is whichever level of ranking board really carries the most weight onboard. If your CoC just goes with the chief's mess rankings then it's your chiefs, if they just go along with the DH's then it's your DH, if it's the XO's ranking then it's him, etc.

Edit: As an addendum, I will add that if your chiefs are your primary rankers I feel bad for you because in general they suck really bad at it. In fact they are absolutely terrible at it.

buttplug posted:

Sir Lucius and I work at the same command (2300+ people) and I can tell you that we do not exist to support unit or squadron-level assets *parts* of the command are dedicated to exactly that, but the command as a whole is not. We're talking legitimate highest-priority national-level missions in MOST instances. Not an exaggeration. We (as in our command) is anomalous in that regard, but not every shore station in the Navy lives and breathes to support the Fleet (regardless of whatever bullshit political Naval spin CAPT Wants-a-star tries to put on his mission). There is more to the DoD than that, especially when the majority of our Navy isn't in 5th FLT lobbing Tomahawks into Syria, but doing drift ops/box ops in the middle of nowhere.

And while I fully empathize the rear end-pain and frustration of being at an operational unit and not being able to get a hold of Person X at Shore Command Y because it's 1530 EST (but o'dark thirty in your floating prison) and they're gone for the day, but that's the exception not the norm. That's why shore duty is there: to recharge your batteries. If the mission was legitimately that important, somebody'd be on a duty phone at the very least.

Hekk posted:

I have no sponsor since my ship is moving this winter and the dude I am replacing isn't following it. Also, I am not a sailor so there are only like 6 jarheads at the navy base I'm going to. Thanks for the info though.

Analogical posted:

buttplug posted:

What rank are you? Have you tried to email the first staff NCO in your chain of command? Your ship is required to provide you a sponsor - homeport swap or other circumstances notwithstanding. Ask whichever POC you have aboard that ship for *anybody else* who is going to be with the ship after its homeport swap. If he doesn't provide you a useful POC, get a hold of the CMC or the ombudsman (literally just googling the ship's name will yield a public website which should have these email addresses).

If you do all of that stuff and still come up empty-handed, come back and give us the ship's name and we'll get your situation squared away. You'll be standing in lines, getting bad haircuts, and hogging the free-weights in the gym in no-time.

PneumonicBook posted:

I agree with most of what you said as someone who's collected plenty of EP's (on a ship). That being said, as an instructor at ET/FC 'A' with a full load of classes (and a whole bunch of absolutely ridiculous rules that make filling our classes with instructors especially challenging) there is literally no way to stand out in that way unless you come to the command at the right time and are chosen as the next lpo/student coordinator/whatever. Our entire day is spent instructing, period, full stop. Compare that to Promar or ATT. Promar instructors have one class on deck every three weeks or so. ATT has enough manning to have two instructors per class, which lets the other instructor go faff about under a dude's desk or whatever. I suppose we're supposed to make up neato collaterals or something to get face time. A funny thing said to me at my last eval debrief was that people can't get ranked by their primary duty. Everyone is exactly as good at instructing as everyone else which is the most loving lolol thing I've ever heard. There are ways to directly measure the effectiveness of an instructor, the command chooses not to though and keeps doing it the "Navy" way though, which automatically screws our command over.

Also I was more commenting on the immense disconnect we have with our (even immediate) CoC. Like how do you not know what your sailors are doing? We do CDBs and poo poo constantly.

I imagine our Chiefs are our primary rankers, except there's a million of them spread out between all of CSCSU and it probably becomes a pissing match with seniority overruling anything else. Actually I'm pretty sure that's exactly what happens judging by all of the extra bullshit that gets thrown our buildings way because "A senior chief threw his star down".

This command is super hosed, the eval thing is just one part of it.

Anyway, there's my enlisted.txt for the month.
This command is completely hosed, the eval thing is just one part of it.

Hekk posted:

I was just asking about what lower enlisted sailors have to live like because I've see the berthing areas and they don't get much space.