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Blistex posted:Holy loving poo poo! So anyone who has actually had a spoken line in one of the moves, no matter how brief, has (at the very least) a 15,000 word bio on them? No. This is why everyone laughs at how dumb star wars is. There is no side story, no side characters, no interesting story with mystery or unexplained nature the audience can think about. Everything is connected to the skywalkers, family of space jesus. Anyone who has ever spoken to them or in their presence becomes an all powerful main character.
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Nov 26, 2014 23:59
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Blistex posted:Holy loving poo poo! So anyone who has actually had a spoken line in one of the moves, no matter how brief, has (at the very least) a 15,000 word bio on them? No you're completely wrong! Come on now, that's not the reality of the situation at all. Having spoken lines is not a requirement. Simply appearing in frame somewhere at some time will suffice.
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Nov 27, 2014 00:39
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blowfish posted:remember how wookiepedia flipped their collective poo poo when disney bought star wars and made the EU non canon Please tell me there's a link to some of this
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Nov 27, 2014 01:23
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Where does Captain Eo fit into the SWverse
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Nov 27, 2014 01:48
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Rough Lobster posted:That book was awesome. It's probably the EU thing that makes me cringe the LEAST. Agreed. All the stories seemed relatively plauseable given the current canon at the time. At the same age I ventured into some of the Rouge Squadron stuff but hadn't gone any further into any of the books. I think you may be right that one of them may have survived. The same book talks about how Fett escpaes the initial sarlac pit, I didn't realize he went into the second one....so much learning in this thread. 
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Nov 27, 2014 06:06
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My favorite part of the EU is Lucas's description of what eventually befell Han and co. "They died." It's a good story a goon posted on this forum somewhere once.
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Nov 27, 2014 06:10
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Chomp8645 posted:No you're completely wrong! Come on now, that's not the reality of the situation at all. Please post the 20-novel series someone has written about all the guys at the conference table in the first star wars that just kinda awkwardly sat around while vader choked that guy that mouthed off to him, tia
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Nov 27, 2014 06:19
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Wolfsheim posted:Please post the 20-novel series someone has written about all the guys at the conference table in the first star wars that just kinda awkwardly sat around while vader choked that guy that mouthed off to him, tia 
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Nov 27, 2014 06:27
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There's an official name and back story to that hunk of metal kid Anakin gave to Padme too, I think it only shows up in the scene and has no plot relevance.
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Nov 27, 2014 06:31
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The good old Mofference.
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Nov 27, 2014 06:33
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I remember when my love of Star Wars died. It was 1996, I had just read about how Corran Horn found his father's light sabre on Coruscant. I put that book down ( I don't even remember the title ) and that was it, I was done.
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Nov 27, 2014 06:35
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Mr.Pibbleton posted:There's an official name and back story to that hunk of metal kid Anakin gave to Padme too, I think it only shows up in the scene and has no plot relevance. Theres an official name and backstory to darth vaders glove which gets sucked through a black hole created by the death star explosion and keeps going on through multiple books.
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Nov 27, 2014 06:35
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kingcom posted:Theres an official name and backstory to darth vaders glove which gets sucked through a black hole created by the death star explosion and keeps going on through multiple books. That was a pretty good thread about those terrible books.   Oh man I forgot about this. 
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Nov 27, 2014 06:41
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kingcom posted:Theres an official name and backstory to darth vaders glove which gets sucked through a black hole created by the death star explosion and keeps going on through multiple books. 
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Nov 27, 2014 06:42
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I can't believe they wasted drew struzan's time with that poo poo
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Nov 27, 2014 06:44
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Wolfsheim posted:I can't believe they wasted drew struzan's time with that poo poo They needed him to capture the majesty of the space whales.
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Nov 27, 2014 06:47
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Mr.Pibbleton posted:That was a pretty good thread about those terrible books. That thread was so good, why did it get closed!
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Nov 27, 2014 07:00
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ZombyDog posted:I remember when my love of Star Wars died. It was 1996, I had just read about how Corran Horn found his father's light sabre on Coruscant. I put that book down ( I don't even remember the title ) and that was it, I was done. And that book was still better than about 80% of the rest of the EU.
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Nov 27, 2014 07:08
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http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Skywalker_Tour like, sure, if there was a savior of the universe that everyone knew about as it was happening, im sure there'd be touristy poo poo about said savior of the universe at the same time you're putting tour groups with fanny packs in your book?
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Nov 27, 2014 08:39
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Han I don't love you and I'm a kryptonian. PEW PEW
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Nov 27, 2014 08:41
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Applewhite posted:Oh I thought it was a metaphor for Hitler. i found it hard to understand how bad hitler was until george lucas called him darth genocidus
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Nov 27, 2014 09:18
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david... posted:i found it hard to understand how bad hitler was until george lucas called him darth genocidus Not gonna lie, I had to check to see if this was a real thing.
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Nov 27, 2014 09:45
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Holy poo poo, I think I had those books when I was 7! Wasn't the 3-eyed dude named Triocculus or something?
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Nov 27, 2014 09:51
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Hitlersaurus Christ posted:Holy poo poo, I think I had those books when I was 7! Wasn't the 3-eyed dude named Triocculus or something? Yeeeeep. It was part of a line of "my first chapter book" Star Wars books. Edit: Which I read the gently caress out of as a kid btw. ManMythLegend fucked around with this message at 10:05 on Nov 27, 2014 |
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Nov 27, 2014 10:01
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What about stupid EU poo poo that we actually love? Because there were a couple of great stories tucked in the Jabba's Palace short story book. My favorite involves a gamorean guard getting ordered to solve a couple of murders and just bumbling around carrying the bodies on his shoulders. Another good one involves the rancor handler and really makes you feel bad for the dude after what happens in RotJ. Dude just really loved his rancor... 
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Nov 27, 2014 10:10
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Grimlook posted:Yeah for me , Anakin building C3PO is way more offencive that the midiclorians thing. Why the gently caress would a slave boy need a protocol droid for?? Anakin is a character in the prequels that they try to show as driven in wanting everything, not being satisfied with anything. If not for the fact that the films never touch upon it really except in Anakin's constant vague need for 'more, more, MORE!', I could picture Anakin being sort of a kid who grew up, he knows he's on the bottom of society, but he's got this rebuilt protocol droid. It's a tool of the elites, the powerful, the respected. Anakin is maybe smart enough to rebuild a droid, but he needs more than that to advance in life. A 'protocol' droid is what he needs. Something that makes him look important, a servant of his own, something he is superior to, and maybe even as something he imagines will educate him on the finer points of being one of the elites of the galaxy. That's why his romantic delivery to Padme is so robotic, 3P0 has giving him essentially electronic versions of antiquated aristocratic courting techniques through his entire life.
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Nov 27, 2014 10:24
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ManMythLegend posted:What about stupid EU poo poo that we actually love? Because there were a couple of great stories tucked in the Jabba's Palace short story book. I liked the Star Wars Tales comics, small and weird stories by people who mostly were in on a joke. Darth Vader fights Darth Maul hologram! Indiana Jones meets Han Solo's decaying corpse in a jungle, while Chewbacca sits sad in the background There was also a legit good story from the pov of a Stormtrooper by Garth Ennis: the redneck from a backwater planet gets drafted, suffers through the service and in the typical EU fashion he is the one that gets shot in the face by Leia in Ep IV
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Nov 27, 2014 10:26
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fatherboxx posted:I liked the Star Wars Tales comics, small and weird stories by people who mostly were in on a joke. Speaking of Star Wars Tales, I think this is a good time to mention Apocalypse Endor. 
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Nov 27, 2014 10:33
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ManMythLegend posted:Speaking of Star Wars Tales, I think this is a good time to mention Apocalypse Endor. Oh sweet jesus... This image is definitely the most cringeworthy EU thing I have seen yet.
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Nov 27, 2014 10:38
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Somebody told me that Boba Fett was in the lizard bounty hunters wedding in one of the books..
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Nov 27, 2014 10:50
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JUbmYfAF2i4 Didn't make me cringe.
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Nov 27, 2014 10:52
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RAGE HOLE posted:Oh sweet jesus... Umm you misspelled awesome.
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Nov 27, 2014 10:54
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Star Wars Episode IV: The Voyage Home
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Nov 27, 2014 11:04
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When I was a kid I loved KJA's books cause they were basically shonen anime in star wars form. Everything just got more and more powerful and all the Jedi had their own unique powers (this one is good at controlling weather! This one can't fight but she can can read everyone's minds! This one can heal people!) and in one of them they all join powers and throw a bunch of star destroyers a few light years away from their Jedi training planet. It was dragon ball z in star wars and I ate it all up because I loved poo poo that was dumb as all balls
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Nov 27, 2014 12:00
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When I was a kid the cantina scene was one of my favourite bits in the entire trilogy. A skeevy bar full of scumbag alien criminals drinking beers? Cool! Then I read some of the books and found out that most of those monsters were noble jedi or undercover rebel heroes. loving Hammerhead was the president of his planet! Lame.
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Nov 27, 2014 12:13
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In one of the Tales of Jabba's Palace that overweight dancer (possibly with horns?) hooks up with another character on some adventure, only it turns out that she was fat because her people retain a lot of water and as the story progresses she very quickly losses weight and become thin and hot. I think it was the one with that guard wearing black clothes and a black insect-like helmet who gets shoved aside when Leia and Chewie come in?
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Nov 27, 2014 12:17
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If even one of those characters had a back story of "they lived a mundane, depressing life alone and died of liver failure" they would be the single most well-written and realistic character in star wars history
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Nov 27, 2014 12:18
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The thing about Star Wars Cantina that breaks my heart is that they didn't do more with BoShek. BoShek deserves more than few comics here and there.
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Nov 27, 2014 12:21
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NESguerilla posted:Somebody told me that Boba Fett was in the lizard bounty hunters wedding in one of the books..
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Nov 27, 2014 13:15
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Sombrerotron posted:The wedding doesn't immediately ring a bell, but Fett's more or less the star of a complete trilogy about the bounty hunters guild, with Bossk the lizardman from ESB being one of his (largely braindead) adversaries, and it's all dreadful. I legit liked the fett story with the weird space orb spider that acted as an information supplier and constantly had to be on guard in case one of its miniature children (or whatever) that helped maintain the floating space web/information racket became sentient enough to overthrow it. I think it ended with the Accountant node becoming smart enough to take over
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Nov 27, 2014 13:22
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