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distortion park
Apr 25, 2011


Garcia was a Bush yes man and his full report is almost certainly a massive whitewash. Still too much for Blatter and co though.

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trem_two
Oct 22, 2002

it is better if you keep saying I'm fat, as I will continue to score goals
Fun Shoe
Putin gave Platini a Picasso in exchange for his support for Russia 2018.

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/30264098

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012

lol I hope they all die

Kwagga
Jun 11, 2002

I am small
we'll all die someday

TheBigAristotle
Feb 8, 2007

I'm tired of hearing about money, money, money, money, money.
I just want to play the game, drink Pepsi, wear Reebok.

Grimey Drawer

trem_two posted:

Putin gave Platini a Picasso in exchange for his support for Russia 2018.

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/30264098

This owns

sticksy
May 26, 2004
Nap Ghost
Lol. Between FIFA and Putin, they never cease to amaze with new and interesting ways to be corrupt. Now I wonder who he gave away Tom Kraft's Super Bowl ring to as a bribe.

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY
A bribe involving a Russian strongman and a Picasso is so hilariously decadent and supervillian-y. It's like something from a Bond movie.

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

blue footed boobie posted:

A bribe involving a Russian strongman and a Picasso is so hilariously decadent and supervillian-y. It's like something from a Bond movie.

Eventually gold watches just don't cut it.

Jose
Jul 24, 2007

Adrian Chiles is a broadcaster and writer

Loving Africa Chaps posted:

Eventually gold watches just don't cut it.

Yet he still refuses to give his back

atomic gog
Apr 11, 2005


Winner June 2013 POTM
Englands bribes were £200 handbags to the executive committee WAGs lol

Vegetable
Oct 22, 2010

Isn't Platini favorite to become the next president of FIFA? He's just getting a feel of the job.

vyelkin
Jan 2, 2011
In case anyone woke up from a fever dream this morning thinking Sepp Blatter had de-Grinched himself, he took the time to disabuse you of these dangerous notions:

quote:

Sepp Blatter insists that the 2022 World Cup will be staged in Qatar
• The World Cup in 2022 will be played in Qatar, says Fifa head
• Blatter says criticism has only come from outside game

A defiant Fifa president Sepp Blatter has declared that there is no moving the 2022 World Cup form Qatar despite widespread concerns about the bidding process that took the tournament to the Middle East for the first time.

“2022, it is Qatar, and ladies and gentleman, believe me, with all that has been said around the world by whom? Those not involved with what happens in football. The World Cup in 2022 will be played in Qatar,” he told Asian Football Confederation members in Manila on Sunday.

The remarks, cheered and applauded loudly by Asian delegates,
come as Fifa faces heavy criticism for not publishing a report by the ethics investigator Michael Garcia into the awarding of the 2018 and 2022 World Cups.

Garcia’s findings were summarised in a 42-page statement published by the Fifa ethics judge Hans-Joachim Eckert last week, which cleared the two winning bids, but which Garcia himself complained included misrepresentations. Fifa has said it cannot publish the full report for legal reasons.

Blatter, however, appeared untroubled by the ongoing saga, taking the opportunity to throw his weight behind preparations for Qatar’s World Cup.

“It is the second time we will go to organise the World Cup in Asia. The first was a lovely combination, a co-hosting, between Japan and Korea Republic. It was a great success, a big success,” said Blatter, who is seeking a fifth term as head of Fifa next year.

“But we have the next one. It will be the first time in the Arabic world but there is another competition that I would like to underline, the Under-17 women’s tournament in 2016.

“For the first time … we are coming with women’s World Cup in 2016 to the kingdom of Jordan. It is the trust and confidence of Fifa towards the Arabic world that they can organise all the competitions.”

Following the announcement, the Qatar Football Association was named winner of the AFC’s Dream Asia Award.

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/nov/30/defiant-sepp-blatter-2022-world-cup-qatar

I especially like the extra "Hey, any other oil-rich Middle Eastern nations, if you want to host a tournament, just give me a call" thrown in there at the end.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

trem_two posted:

Putin gave Platini a Picasso in exchange for his support for Russia 2018.

http://www.bbc.com/sport/0/football/30264098

Putin allegedly stole some gaudy american football ring once.

I wonder what he could get for it.

atomic gog posted:

Englands bribes were £200 handbags to the executive committee WAGs lol

Shameful, throw away the key.

Kurtofan fucked around with this message at 00:39 on Dec 1, 2014

Jayou
Mar 14, 2007

Sparkly Vampires are Wrestlicious!
At this point Im not sure if Blatter isnt doing this on purpose as some kind of advent-garde art piece.

http://www.theguardian.com/football/2014/dec/02/sepp-blatter-fifa-responsibility-workers-qatar-world-cup

The Guardianr posted:

Sepp Blatter said that the welfare of migrant workers involved in building facilities for the 2022 World Cup in Qatar was the responsibility of the companies who hired them, not Fifa.

Also from the article.

The Guardian posted:

Blatter also said the workers were enjoying “better conditions" due to the World Cup.

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012

FIFA are changing the agent rules. Don't need a license anymore not entry examination lol, just a clean criminal record

advanced statsman
Dec 26, 2012

ISLAM FC
my time to shine

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY

Hegay posted:

FIFA are changing the agent rules. Don't need a license anymore not entry examination lol, just a clean criminal record

The triumphant return of Kia Joorabchian(he was never really gone)

Ninpo
Aug 6, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
*Dusts off Jerry Maguire DVD*

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon
Ex-cons can't be agents?

dkj
Feb 18, 2009

Kurtofan posted:

Ex-cons can't be agents?

So they're implementing a one strike rule then?

Commendable.

distortion park
Apr 25, 2011


Kurtofan posted:

Ex-cons can't be agents?

Not until their conviction is considered "spent", which is in March or something for the Leeds guy

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012

Platini told Blatter to gently caress off

Crazy Ted
Jul 29, 2003

Hegay posted:

Platini told Blatter to gently caress off
"Michel Platini says Sepp Blatter should step aside and make room for someone else at FIFA"

:allears: keep going...

Sky Sports posted:

"But after five terms it's time to have some fresh air and make room for someone else. I think the image of FIFA is very, very, very bad and that is why he must stop."

Platini confirmed in August that he will not run in next year's FIFA elections.

Asked who he would back in the forthcoming vote, Platini replied: "Neither. I hope others will run.

"Another European candidate would have very little chance of winning."

So FIFA would be better off with a South American who'd put Sepp Blatter's corruption to shame?

Daduzi
Nov 22, 2005

You can't hide from the Grim Reaper. Especially when he's got a gun.

Crazy Ted posted:

So FIFA would be better off with a South American who'd put Sepp Blatter's corruption to shame?

Who's the current head of the Qatari FA? Seems he'd be the guy to clean things up.

Bogan Krkic
Oct 31, 2010

Swedish style? No.
Yugoslavian style? Of course not.
It has to be Zlatan-style.

Bring back Jack Warner and Mohammad Bin Hamman

Teddybear
May 16, 2009

Look! A teddybear doll!
It's soooo cute!


Seriously, just pay me, I'll loving do it. I'll take half of what Blatter's making and I'll keep my nose clean doing it.

Kurtofan
Feb 16, 2011

hon hon hon

Hegay posted:

Platini told Blatter to gently caress off

Platini is just as bad as Blatter though, wasn't he one of the people pushing hard for Qatar?

Byolante
Mar 23, 2008

by Cyrano4747

Kurtofan posted:

Platini is just as bad as Blatter though, wasn't he one of the people pushing hard for Qatar?

His son has a consulting job paid for by Qatar

Loving Africa Chaps
Dec 3, 2007


We had not left it yet, but when I would wake in the night, I would lie, listening, homesick for it already.

Byolante posted:

His son has a consulting job paid for by Qatar

Isn't for some ridiculous 7 figure salary despite no prior experience?

I'll be Fifa president for free. I'll just live comfortably on the huge bribes

blue footed boobie
Sep 14, 2012


UEFA SUPREMACY

Teddybear posted:

I'll keep my nose clean doing it.

This isn't in the job description.

Hegay
Jun 29, 2012

FIFA are so insanely anti-Europe it's crazy. UEFA should just get it's poo poo together, we're the single most important association in FIFA. Allow a few South American teams into the European Championship and then it's basically the World Cup.

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.
Euros with Brazil/Argentina/Ghana/Ivory coast would be cool.

Big Black Dick
Mar 20, 2009

What about the Fightin' Jozys?

FullLeatherJacket
Dec 30, 2004

Chiunque può essere Luther Blissett, semplicemente adottando il nome Luther Blissett

Daduzi posted:

Who's the current head of the Qatari FA? Seems he'd be the guy to clean things up.

I believe that now is actually the correct moment to parachute Chuck Blazer into the position

Presumably using whatever parachute they used for the Apollo landers

Pook Good Mook
Aug 6, 2013


ENFORCE THE UNITED STATES DRESS CODE AT ALL COSTS!

This message paid for by the Men's Wearhouse& Jos A Bank Lobbying Group

serious gaylord posted:

Euros with Brazil/Argentina/Ghana/Ivory coast would be cool.

Ivory Coast has never made it past the group stage.

If you were serious about jettisoning from FIFA you'd want UEFA, and CONMEBOL at the very least if you still want it to be competitive. If you absolutely must have anyone from Africa Ghana is the only competitive side worth having. After them the only other teams worth going after from a competition standpoint would be Mexico, USA, Japan, and South Korea. The last three have the added benefit of taking most of FIFA's sponsorship money with them.

You could jettison the rest of Asia, the African Confederation and Oceania and lose absolutely nothing. Note that these three groups along with the Caribbean are the confederations you bribe to get what you want if your Sepp Blatter. Every single country in UEFA and CONMEBOL (along with the USA and Mexico) could vote in complete lockstep and it wouldn't do poo poo to unseat Sepp.

Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)
You'd probably want Australia instead of USA really

serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.

Blue Star Error posted:

You'd probably want Australia instead of USA really

eh, as useless as they are at the game they do bring a lot of the money to the table.

Blue Star Error
Jun 11, 2001

For this recipie you will need:
Football match (Halftime of), Celebrity Owner (Motivational speaking of), Sherry (Bottle of)
Money isn't everything

Food Court Druid
Jul 17, 2007

Boredom is always counter-revolutionary. Always.
You guys are right, it's all a foreign plot to keep down the noble Europeans. If only football was under the wise guidance of UEFA.

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serious gaylord
Sep 16, 2007

what.

Blue Star Error posted:

Money isn't everything

Sponsorships are though, and depriving fifa of nike would be useful.

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