Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

OXBALLS DOT COM: Sep 11, 2005; by FactsAreUseless; Young Orc

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Ahahahahahaha.

Well, this update has certainly made marriage a bit more interesting:

I picked the last one and she turned into my rival as well. It was pretty good. Sorta awkward when she killed me with sex but eh.

I think that particular dialogue's in the older versions, too.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 04:00

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 00:52

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Mange Mite posted:

I think that particular dialogue's in the older versions, too.

Yea? It happened twice in a row, too. Pretty amusing. Also paranoid trait really made him hella paranoid; every kid wasn't his (so no prestige!!!) and everyone was out to kill him.

Yea, that no prestige bit makes it really, really poo poo. I ended up hosed over by Pictland juuuust before I was going to turn merchant republic too. Dang.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 04:38

Gravity Cant Apple: Jun 25, 2011; guys its just like if you had an apple with a straw n you poked the apple though wit it n a pebbl hadnt dropped through itd stop straw insid the apple because gravity cant apple

Dunatis Ishmael posted:

Right-clicking the person you want to marry in the marriage screen auto-fills it for you still

Well that makes life a lot easier. Seems like it should pop up with a left click, but whatever.

Deceitful Penguin posted:

Ahahahahahaha.

Well, this update has certainly made marriage a bit more interesting:

I picked the last one and she turned into my rival as well. It was pretty good. Sorta awkward when she killed me with sex but eh.

This is also getting really annoying. Every time I fall in love with my wife I later get an event making us instantly into rivals because she has a lover; me.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 05:46

Wafflecopper: Nov 27, 2004; I am a mouth, and I must scream

Gravity Cant Apple posted:

This is also getting really annoying. Every time I fall in love with my wife I later get an event making us instantly into rivals because she has a lover; me.

Yeah I keep getting the one where I have to choose between my wife and my lover, except they're the same person and she's gonna be pissed whichever button I push.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 11:22

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

Wafflecopper posted:

Yeah I keep getting the one where I have to choose between my wife and my lover, except they're the same person and she's gonna be pissed whichever button I push.

Wow, this patch is nowhere near ready for showtime. Here's hoping to god Paradox realizes this and slows down rather than forcing out a poo poo patch that breaks the game.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 13:36

Groogy: Jun 12, 2014; Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR

That's a really old bug, been there since either The Old Gods or Republic.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 13:50

Gravity Cant Apple: Jun 25, 2011; guys its just like if you had an apple with a straw n you poked the apple though wit it n a pebbl hadnt dropped through itd stop straw insid the apple because gravity cant apple

Huh, this was the first time I've seen it in over 400 hours of play. I've been getting a lot more flavor events about friends and rivals in general. It seems like every time I get into a war and I have a friend that owns land, I get the popup that it's not going the way that I thought it would and gives me the option to ask my friend to join the war, ask him for money, or choose neither for some prestige. This one isn't really a problem but it seems weird when it pops up for peasant revolts or other wars that I'm winning easily.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 13:56

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

Groogy posted:

That's a really old bug, been there since either The Old Gods or Republic.

Seriously? I've never ever seen that happen despite frequently having a wife-as-lover. I wonder if they jacked up the frequency of the event, so that now every player is going to see it regularly. If so they might want to, y'know, fix it.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 14:02

TheMcD: May 4, 2013; Monaca / Subject N 2024
---------
Despair will never let you down.
Malice will never disappoint you.

Well, that event ("Seeing someone else behind your spouse's back is becoming quite troublesome for you") has a trigger that goes like this:

code:

	trigger = {
		NOT = { has_dlc = "Way of Life" }
		is_married = yes
		has_polygamy = no
		in_command = no
		
		spouse = {
			prisoner = no
			in_command = no
		}
		has_lover = yes
		any_lover = {
			NOT = {
				is_main_spouse = ROOT
			}
		}
	}

A similar event ("You are having a special occasion with your lover in the near future, but your wife is insistent on alternate plans") goes like this:

code:

	trigger = {
		NOT = { has_dlc = "Way of Life" }
		war = no
		in_command = no
		is_married = yes
		spouse = {
			is_alive = yes
			prisoner = no
			is_abroad = no
		}
		fertility = 0.5
		any_lover = {
			is_female = yes
			NOT = {
				spouse = {
					character = ROOT
				}
			}
			is_pregnant = no
			prisoner = no
			NOT = { trait = in_hiding }
		}
		NOT = { trait = in_hiding }
	}

Any reason why the first one has "is_main_spouse" when polygamy is explicitly excluded, and shouldn't it be the same NOT spouse of character = ROOT check like in other events?

# ? Dec 2, 2014 14:05

Groogy: Jun 12, 2014; Tanks are kinda wasted on invading the USSR

Eric the Mauve posted:

Seriously? I've never ever seen that happen despite frequently having a wife-as-lover. I wonder if they jacked up the frequency of the event, so that now every player is going to see it regularly. If so they might want to, y'know, fix it.

Well yeah they've probably be modified to work with Way of Life, so that's why. I know I've gotten it when playing at home like over a year ago.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 14:31

SurreptitiousMuffin: Mar 21, 2010

1stGear posted:

FAQ

Oh my god how do I start what do I do ahhhhhhhh

That's a normal reaction to first seeing that map. The general recommendation is to start in Ireland as it serves as an unofficial �Tutorial Island� for the game. I personally suggest starting as Dublin. As a short-term goal, form the Duchies of Meath and Leinster and conquer the other province. From there, aim towards forming the Kingdom of Ireland. Once you can do that, you have a solid grasp of CK2's basic mechanics.

Just got this in the Steam sale, and honestly I can't even figure out how to do the above. I turned on the Duchy map and I still can't see Meath or Leinster, I don't know how to form a Duchy with them and I have no idea how to do of any of the stuff required for a CB.

Is there a "I am a total idiot who does not understand a single goddam thing that is happening and this is really boring and frustrating please just tell me clearly what to do in a simple step-by-step manner" guide somewhere? This game has so much going on and the tutorial didn't explain jack.

EDIT: oh, the "tutorial" option that comes up when you first open the game isn't actually the Tutorial, it's just the tutorial. Well, that makes a lot of sense. This game looks like it could be amazing fun but they really throw you in the loving deep end here.

SurreptitiousMuffin fucked around with this message at 16:25 on Dec 2, 2014

# ? Dec 2, 2014 16:17

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Just got this in the Steam sale, and honestly I can't even figure out how to do the above. I turned on the Duchy map and I still can't see Meath or Leinster, I don't know how to form a Duchy with them and I have no idea how to do of any of the stuff required for a CB.

Is there a "I am a total idiot who does not understand a single goddam thing that is happening and this is really boring and frustrating please just tell me clearly what to do in a simple step-by-step manner" guide somewhere? This game has so much going on and the tutorial didn't explain jack.

There is indeed.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLH-huzMEgGWBBUYoAjpLxFkbgFw19CeA_

# ? Dec 2, 2014 16:19

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

That info is badly out of date and refers to the 1066 bookmark. I believe that even in that bookmark some of the names have changed--I think what used to be Munster is now Mumu? Been a while since I looked at Ireland, but yeah.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 16:20

Martello: Apr 29, 2012; by XyloJW

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Just got this in the Steam sale, and honestly I can't even figure out how to do the above. I turned on the Duchy map and I still can't see Meath or Leinster, I don't know how to form a Duchy with them and I have no idea how to do of any of the stuff required for a CB.

Is there a "I am a total idiot who does not understand a single goddam thing that is happening and this is really boring and frustrating please just tell me clearly what to do in a simple step-by-step manner" guide somewhere? This game has so much going on and the tutorial didn't explain jack.

EDIT: oh, the "tutorial" option that comes up when you first open the game isn't actually the Tutorial, it's just the tutorial. Well, that makes a lot of sense. This game looks like it could be amazing fun but they really throw you in the loving deep end here.

Maybe if you weren't a baby bitch from upside-down-land and were good at games it wouldn't be that hard.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 16:35

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Did you try the "learning mode" thing with the kingdom of leon?

# ? Dec 2, 2014 16:37

Red Minjo: Oct 20, 2010; Out of the houses, which is the most blue?

The answer might not be be obvious at first.; Gravy Boat 2k

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Just got this in the Steam sale, and honestly I can't even figure out how to do the above. I turned on the Duchy map and I still can't see Meath or Leinster, I don't know how to form a Duchy with them and I have no idea how to do of any of the stuff required for a CB.

Is there a "I am a total idiot who does not understand a single goddam thing that is happening and this is really boring and frustrating please just tell me clearly what to do in a simple step-by-step manner" guide somewhere? This game has so much going on and the tutorial didn't explain jack.

EDIT: oh, the "tutorial" option that comes up when you first open the game isn't actually the Tutorial, it's just the tutorial. Well, that makes a lot of sense. This game looks like it could be amazing fun but they really throw you in the loving deep end here.

By duchy map, do you mean de jure duchies map? That would tell you what you need to form any single duchy by being all the same color. Click on the ones in the same color as you, and beat those guys up, regardless of what the actual county name is. It probably requires you to use the chancellor to Fabricate Claims first. But yeah, the new tutorial really helps.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 17:10

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

Volkerball posted:

Start off as a duke in the middle of nowhere, make your character catholic, pledge fealty to the pope, and then conquer poo poo and hand it off to make the Papacy own everything. You can never be more than a duke, so there's a whole different strategy to giving away titles. Plus your capital is constantly shifting to be close to the front line, so it's a different experience. You're an attack dog, not a leader.

Does the Pope ever raise crown laws that make this harder to do?

# ? Dec 2, 2014 18:25

Volkerball: Oct 15, 2009; by FactsAreUseless

Bort Bortles posted:

Does the Pope ever raise crown laws that make this harder to do?

I don't know. Right now I'm toying around with the idea a bit to figure out how I could do it as a merchant republic. With just a strong capital duchy, you can make enough to fund a huge retinue regardless of crown laws. So then you could use your retinue and 3 or 4 rotating duchies and conquer quite a bit. I'm also wondering if I could conquer 80% of a de jure empire under the papacy, and have him create the empire title. Then my merchant republic could be a vassal kingdom, and I could press claims on duchies.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 18:35

Zodium: Jun 19, 2004

Volkerball posted:

I don't know. Right now I'm toying around with the idea a bit to figure out how I could do it as a merchant republic. With just a strong capital duchy, you can make enough to fund a huge retinue regardless of crown laws. So then you could use your retinue and 3 or 4 rotating duchies and conquer quite a bit. I'm also wondering if I could conquer 80% of a de jure empire under the papacy, and have him create the empire title. Then my merchant republic could be a vassal kingdom, and I could press claims on duchies.

This sounds fun as hell.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 19:10

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

Volkerball posted:

I don't know. Right now I'm toying around with the idea a bit to figure out how I could do it as a merchant republic. With just a strong capital duchy, you can make enough to fund a huge retinue regardless of crown laws. So then you could use your retinue and 3 or 4 rotating duchies and conquer quite a bit. I'm also wondering if I could conquer 80% of a de jure empire under the papacy, and have him create the empire title. Then my merchant republic could be a vassal kingdom, and I could press claims on duchies.

Yeah I'm thinking I would conquer a powerful coastal duchy (or two) somewhere then swear fealty to the Pope. Once I did that and my new lands were good to go I would just conquer a duchy pretty much anywhere via holy war, form the new duchy, pass it to the Pope, rinse and repeat.

edit: It would be especially hilarious to do this as a heretical ruler under the Pope, so you could holy war pretty much the whole world.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 19:23

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Bort Bortles posted:

edit: It would be especially hilarious to do this as a heretical ruler under the Pope, so you could holy war pretty much the whole world.

I'm pretty sure you need to be the same religion as your liege to use the Holy War CB.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 19:38

Eric the Mauve: May 8, 2012; Making you happy for a buck since 199X

I wonder what happens if you edit your save file to make the Pope Fracitelli or whatever. Would the game crash upon loading, or just automatically change it back?

# ? Dec 2, 2014 20:06

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

So that's the second completely unexpected game over playing a merchant republic. I either completely suck at playing them or they're buggier than expected.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'd somehow become the head of a second merchant republic after my predecessor had founded one and sworn fealty to the King of ~~Scotland~~ Alba. Today, taking advantage of a succession crisis and land grab by the King of Norway, I declared independence. During the rebellion, warscore still in the low single digits, before I'd even sieged down one holding, I got a game over for becoming the leader of a republic. :wtc:

It wouldn't be so bad if you could dismiss the game over screen and look around a little to see what might have actually caused this, but it is entirely obtuse to me how 70% of the game works.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 20:08

AAAAA! Real Muenster: Jul 12, 2008; My QB is also named Bort

SeaTard posted:

I'm pretty sure you need to be the same religion as your liege to use the Holy War CB.

Aww drat.

Dareon posted:

So that's the second completely unexpected game over playing a merchant republic. I either completely suck at playing them or they're buggier than expected.

As I mentioned in a previous post, I'd somehow become the head of a second merchant republic after my predecessor had founded one and sworn fealty to the King of ~~Scotland~~ Alba. Today, taking advantage of a succession crisis and land grab by the King of Norway, I declared independence. During the rebellion, warscore still in the low single digits, before I'd even sieged down one holding, I got a game over for becoming the leader of a republic.

It wouldn't be so bad if you could dismiss the game over screen and look around a little to see what might have actually caused this, but it is entirely obtuse to me how 70% of the game works.

The game is super buggy right now.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 20:11

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Eric the Mauve posted:

I wonder what happens if you edit your save file to make the Pope Fracitelli or whatever. Would the game crash upon loading, or just automatically change it back?

It gets changed back.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 20:22

Lt. Lizard: Apr 28, 2013

So, uh, I was playing as one of those little islands above Britain at Charlemagne start date, intending to just chillax until Viking Age and then start raiding and creating a cool Island-themed Empire, when suddenly circa 780, a Pictish King appeared out of nowhere with a fleet of 30 ships and invaded the poo poo out of me. He did that despite the fact that he didn't have a shipyard built in any of his provinces, couldn't raise a ship levy in any of his provinces and noone in Europe (him included, of course) had even the basic shipbuilding 1 technology you need to get ships.

Did I miss some esoteric mechanic that allows you to raise ship despite not having the technology (and buildings) to do so the usual way, or did the AI just cheat himself some units to do a naval invasion?

# ? Dec 2, 2014 21:22

fuck off Batman: Oct 14, 2013; Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!

Lt. Lizard posted:

So, uh, I was playing as one of those little islands above Britain at Charlemagne start date, intending to just chillax until Viking Age and then start raiding and creating a cool Island-themed Empire, when suddenly circa 780, a Pictish King appeared out of nowhere with a fleet of 30 ships and invaded the poo poo out of me. He did that despite the fact that he didn't have a shipyard built in any of his provinces, couldn't raise a ship levy in any of his provinces and noone in Europe (him included, of course) had even the basic shipbuilding 1 technology you need to get ships.

Did I miss some esoteric mechanic that allows you to raise ship despite not having the technology (and buildings) to do so the usual way, or did the AI just cheat himself some units to do a naval invasion?

Probably mercenaries.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 21:26

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Lt. Lizard posted:

Did I miss some esoteric mechanic that allows you to raise ship despite not having the technology (and buildings) to do so the usual way, or did the AI just cheat himself some units to do a naval invasion?

There is a decision to hire 30 ships when at war.

# ? Dec 2, 2014 21:50

Lt. Lizard: Apr 28, 2013

SeaTard posted:

There is a decision to hire 30 ships when at war.

Wait, seriously? I never noticed that. :psyduck:

That's good to know, because now I don't have to wait for Viking Age to go raiding.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 00:44

ninjahedgehog: Feb 17, 2011; It's time to kick the tires and light the fires, Big Bird.

Lt. Lizard posted:

Wait, seriously? I never noticed that.

That's good to know, because now I don't have to wait for Viking Age to go raiding.

You need to have part of your realm inaccessible by land to unlock the decision, and even then it only appears when you're at war. I don't think you can use it to go raiding.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 00:50

Deceitful Penguin: Feb 16, 2011

Lt. Lizard posted:

So, uh, I was playing as one of those little islands above Britain at Charlemagne start date, intending to just chillax until Viking Age and then start raiding and creating a cool Island-themed Empire, when suddenly circa 780, a Pictish King appeared out of nowhere with a fleet of 30 ships and invaded the poo poo out of me. He did that despite the fact that he didn't have a shipyard built in any of his provinces, couldn't raise a ship levy in any of his provinces and noone in Europe (him included, of course) had even the basic shipbuilding 1 technology you need to get ships.

Did I miss some esoteric mechanic that allows you to raise ship despite not having the technology (and buildings) to do so the usual way, or did the AI just cheat himself some units to do a naval invasion?

http://www.ckiiwiki.com/Decisions#Unit_decisions

This is what he picked.

Btw, I've just noticed that the AI is now way less cool about leaving Islands alone.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 05:43

Taear: Nov 26, 2004; Ask me about the shitty opinions I have about Paradox games!

Eric the Mauve posted:

I wonder what happens if you edit your save file to make the Pope Fracitelli or whatever. Would the game crash upon loading, or just automatically change it back?

You could just make the fraticelli papacy and swear to them? Conquering Rome is pretty easy even if you're little.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 05:50

Excelzior: Jun 24, 2013

Taear posted:

You could just make the fraticelli papacy and swear to them? Conquering Rome is pretty easy even if you're little.

until the HRE pushes an Anti-Pope through :argh:

# ? Dec 3, 2014 07:01

binge crotching: Apr 2, 2010

Taear posted:

You could just make the fraticelli papacy and swear to them? Conquering Rome is pretty easy even if you're little.

The Fraticelli Pope is a Duke level title, so it really limits your options if you swear fealty to him.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 08:49

future ghost: Dec 5, 2005; Gun Saliva

Excelzior posted:

until the HRE pushes an Anti-Pope through

Just had one of these attempted in my game. France decided to challenge it so I got drawn into the war, but it ended quickly when the Kaiser decided (poorly) to land right in front of my full-morale army at Bordeaux. No more antipopes for awhile at least.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 09:15

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Behold! An actual bug report from the Paradox forums:

quote:

make the caliph is error

i have a mirza and 1000 piety and 2000 cash but can't made the caliph it do the shia but i use cheat vasslize mecca medina can make them

Dear Paradox devs, I am so sorry that you have to deal with this.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 10:29

QuoProQuid: Jan 12, 2012; Tr*ckin' and F*ckin' all the way to tha
T O P

SeaTard posted:

The Fraticelli Pope is a Duke level title, so it really limits your options if you swear fealty to him.

If you give the Fraticelli Papacy enough land to create a Kingdom title, will it create said title under Papal Succession? You might be able to be vassal to the Bishopric of France, which just so happens to be ruled by the Fraticelli Pope.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 14:41

DStecks: Feb 6, 2012

McGavin posted:

Behold! An actual bug report from the Paradox forums:

Not gonna lie, I read the first line and thought it was gonna be more "Quit pushing Muhammad!"

# ? Dec 3, 2014 15:05

SurreptitiousMuffin: Mar 21, 2010

Hooray, I captured a single territory as Mumu. Goddam, that took a lot of weird wrangling and work.

More newbie questions:

1) is there a faster way of attaining a CB that doesn't involve using a Chancellor?
2) if I manage to fabricate a claim on a county and then conquer it, can I then make a De Jure claim on the other counties in the Duchy?
3) why won't the Pope let me lay claims? Is he just kinda an rear end in a top hat? I've got the money and the piety but he just doesn't want to.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 17:04

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Jun 4, 2024 00:52

Red Minjo: Oct 20, 2010; Out of the houses, which is the most blue?

The answer might not be be obvious at first.; Gravy Boat 2k

SurreptitiousMuffin posted:

Hooray, I captured a single territory as Mumu. Goddam, that took a lot of weird wrangling and work.

More newbie questions:

1) is there a faster way of attaining a CB that doesn't involve using a Chancellor?
2) if I manage to fabricate a claim on a county and then conquer it, can I then make a De Jure claim on the other counties in the Duchy?
3) why won't the Pope let me lay claims? Is he just kinda an rear end in a top hat? I've got the money and the piety but he just doesn't want to.

For 3, usually it would be because the pope doesn't hate the guy who owns the county. Having the papacy in Rome selected and putting on the opinion map mode will let you see who he does and doesn't like. For 2, you also have to own the duchy title, if you don't already.

# ? Dec 3, 2014 17:10

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Video Games > Crusader Kings II: I desperately want to be cucked by Satan

«‹›1029 »