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im pooping! posted:Seriously the Assassin's Creed wiki sucks, it's either the people who contribute literally have nothing to say, or there's some sperglord editing everything so it's literally a list of the objectives you read in the game. No analysis, no history, nothing. It's total garbage and not useful at all. Funny, because I looked at it while playing rear end Creed 2 and it was useless in the opposite way. I was trying to get the location of an Assassin's Tomb on a building in Venice, and I got given 'here's five paragraphs on the real-world history of this building, mostly copy-pasted from Wikipedia', no mention of the tomb at all. It having a tomb is literally the only reason for the building to be in the game at all, too, so there's not even any talk about the story or anything. Just a historical infodump that neglected the one crucial fact about the building within the game's context. Cleretic has a new favorite as of 00:21 on Dec 9, 2014 |
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Dec 9, 2014 00:18
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Horrible Smutbeast posted:This only happens with the male gay characters too, they never have the female ones do this weird poo poo. Who wants to watch an awkward sex scene after the one guy cries about his dead husband in mass effect 3? Haha, oh man, if you want awkward lesbian romances then DA:I has you covered. Why yes lets talk about how I shaved an animal into my pubic hair while you make crude innuendo a six year old would find hilarious.  Sera's such a horrible character.
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Dec 9, 2014 00:19
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Captain Lavender posted:ME3 REALLY wanted me to give a poo poo about Cortez. STEEEEEEEVE
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Dec 9, 2014 00:31
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Ugh, I am just done with Nintendo. I am forced to play as Mario in super Mario brothers 3 and super Mario world? Uh hello in super Mario brothers 2 I can play as princess peach. What was a strong female character to much for the Japanese? Uh yeah you can 
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Dec 9, 2014 01:13
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slingshot effect posted:The Fallout wiki is (mostly) incredible in its spergy minutia of stats and numbers and has completely wrecked my expectations for all other game wikis. Only UESP comes close. Speaking of, here's the pettiest complaint I can think of. I hate it when I'm playing skyrim or something and I want to check an item or character out because I have a bunch of nerdy lore mods and like seeing how accurate the mod is. Then google's first response is always the god awful Elder Scrolls Wikia. Which is doubly awful if you're using the steam browser for any reason because the ads on wikia pages tend to crash it, at least in my experience.
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Dec 9, 2014 01:21
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Horrible Smutbeast posted:This only happens with the male gay characters too, they never have the female ones do this weird poo poo. This is because the gay male romances are written by and for fat catladies who fetishize gay men. Remember that modern Bioware is staffed by literal fanfiction writers and all the awful romances and general quality of the writing in general makes a lot more sense.
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Dec 9, 2014 02:33
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poptart_fairy posted:Haha, oh man, if you want awkward lesbian romances then DA:I has you covered. Why yes lets talk about how I shaved an animal into my pubic hair while you make crude innuendo a six year old would find hilarious. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 That is some quality poo poo right there.  For elf titties.
Alteisen has a new favorite as of 05:02 on Dec 9, 2014 |
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Dec 9, 2014 04:56
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 I thought Bioware could do no worse, but now we've got, what? The 13 year old elf from liverpool? What is that? TheSpiritFox has a new favorite as of 21:36 on Dec 9, 2014 |
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Dec 9, 2014 05:04
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 Pffftttt hahahaha I literally can't believe how bad that is, it's pretty much left me speechless.
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Dec 9, 2014 05:23
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 Video Games Are Art.
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Dec 9, 2014 05:28
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 This game exists. Somebody thought this was a good idea, wrote it, still thought it was a good idea, and presumably then sent it to other people, who also thought it was a good idea. In 2014. I could believe this sounding like a good idea in 90s RPGs when nobody knew any better. I could believe it in the early 00s, when this kind of character and humor was popular. But someone decided to write that this year. God damnit, Bioware, I don't even understand you.
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Dec 9, 2014 05:49
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poptart_fairy posted:Haha, oh man, if you want awkward lesbian romances then DA:I has you covered. Why yes lets talk about how I shaved an animal into my pubic hair while you make crude innuendo a six year old would find hilarious. I have never once used Sera and God willing I never will. Me, Varric, Blackwall, and
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Dec 9, 2014 06:02
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Romance in games is always so cringe inducing
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Dec 9, 2014 06:04
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"I'LL SHOW YOU COMING TOGETHER.  "  this is really bumming me out as a big fan of DA:O who hasn't played that game yet
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Dec 9, 2014 06:07
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The iron bull dialogue is legit funny, like all the romance stuff with him is seemingly played for laughs and it shows, they really should have done most of the relationships like that, just play it laughs.
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Dec 9, 2014 06:13
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Oh god, is it just those two or does no one in the game know how to emote? Supposedly flirting and it's just completely monotone. I made it a minute before I had to stop.
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Dec 9, 2014 08:14
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 This is all I see.
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Dec 9, 2014 08:40
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 Is Sera supposed to have some sort of disability? Is the player taking someone to bed who literally doesn't have the mental capacity to distinguish imagination from reality? I'm afraid to ask if Sandal is a romance option too. Acute Grill has a new favorite as of 08:49 on Dec 9, 2014 |
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Dec 9, 2014 08:47
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Replaying South Park: Stick of Truth, and it's awesome, except sometimes the way to move forward is way too obscure. There's a bit in the school and the (spoiler?)UFO that baffled me on repeat playthroughs because you have to get that behind the camera, there's another zone, or that you have a place to go that has been shifted through the background behind some glass. It'd be fine in Myst or something, but this is 2014 and no one wants to buy a hint book .
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Dec 9, 2014 09:03
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Kalos posted:Is Sera supposed to have some sort of disability? Is the player taking someone to bed who literally doesn't have the mental capacity to distinguish imagination from reality? I think this is what BioWare writers consider cute.
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Dec 9, 2014 09:51
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Kalos posted:Is Sera supposed to have some sort of disability? Is the player taking someone to bed who literally doesn't have the mental capacity to distinguish imagination from reality? I think Dragon Age: Inquisition's writing is perfectly fine for the most part, but Sera feels more like an over-the-top satire of Bioware's worst writing than an actual character. Even her codex entry is loving insufferable.
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Dec 9, 2014 10:32
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Nuebot posted:Speaking of, here's the pettiest complaint I can think of. I hate it when I'm playing skyrim or something and I want to check an item or character out because I have a bunch of nerdy lore mods and like seeing how accurate the mod is. Then google's first response is always the god awful Elder Scrolls Wikia. Which is doubly awful if you're using the steam browser for any reason because the ads on wikia pages tend to crash it, at least in my experience. They do sometimes have stuff that UESP doesn't (like actually showing you where locations are on the map) and it is better if you just want a wiki that gets to the point about something you're looking up instead of giving you a giant table of DnD stats. Both are useful, it just kind of depends on what you're looking for.
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Dec 9, 2014 11:14
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 Bioware what the gently caress
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Dec 9, 2014 13:23
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GOTTA STAY FAI posted:Bioware what the gently caress I like the way the other character has that  expression after the crazy one runs out of the room.
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Dec 9, 2014 13:39
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Cleretic posted:This game exists. Somebody thought this was a good idea, wrote it, still thought it was a good idea, and presumably then sent it to other people, who also thought it was a good idea. Actually you forgot a step. Someone thought it was a good idea then to do the romance stuff with that godawful character.
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Dec 9, 2014 14:56
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Is she supposed to be some sort of piss take at autistic tumblrites or something? I've never played a dragon age game and it sounds like I'm not missing much.
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Dec 9, 2014 15:40
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Bioware has a history of being really terrible with romance and dialogue in general.
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Dec 9, 2014 15:41
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Aphrodite posted:Actually you forgot a step. Oh, I assumed that the base idea was a romanceable character. Like, they went in from the outset with the knowledge that 'yeah, there's gonna be sex scenes with this one'. It's like the asari from Mass Effect; you can't tell me that they weren't designed with the romance option as a primary element of the concept. Honestly, it doesn't matter if the character was romanceable from initial planning, or if they decided she'd be romanceable later on. Both are pretty shameful. Cleretic has a new favorite as of 15:49 on Dec 9, 2014 |
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Dec 9, 2014 15:46
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Keep in mind this is the series in which one of the head writers described the jailbait love interest in DA2 (starts with an M - Meryl?) as making her want to 'squee'.
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Dec 9, 2014 17:53
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I know this is a couple conversations ago, but I've just been thinking about how AssCreed could have made its combat less "easy" without being the janky mess it currently is. Without getting too amateur-game-design-hour, probably the easiest way to make AssCreed combat more skillful would be to not allow the player to counter attacks from enemies who are behind the player character. Then you could get some actual tactical thinking, in terms of "do I try to turn around in time to intercept the attack, or do I dodge out of the way?", and even the traditional cheesing-it all-counters strategy now requires some skill, because you can't just stand there and press the counter button.
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Dec 9, 2014 18:57
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DStecks posted:I know this is a couple conversations ago, but I've just been thinking about how AssCreed could have made its combat less "easy" without being the janky mess it currently is. Without getting too amateur-game-design-hour, probably the easiest way to make AssCreed combat more skillful would be to not allow the player to counter attacks from enemies who are behind the player character. Then you could get some actual tactical thinking, in terms of "do I try to turn around in time to intercept the attack, or do I dodge out of the way?", and even the traditional cheesing-it all-counters strategy now requires some skill, because you can't just stand there and press the counter button. Also, not making counters insta-kills anymore would help a lot too. In the first game to one-shot people every time you countered you needed to use the hidden blade, which had a really short counter window AND couldn't be used to attack. Now it's "see red exclamation mark, hit "B", kill every motherfucker that's close with a kill streak".
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Dec 9, 2014 19:18
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They did that in the last game.
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Dec 9, 2014 19:26
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Ugly In The Morning posted:Also, not making counters insta-kills anymore would help a lot too. In the first game to one-shot people every time you countered you needed to use the hidden blade, which had a really short counter window AND couldn't be used to attack. Now it's "see red exclamation mark, hit "B", kill every motherfucker that's close with a kill streak". You could even keep counters as insta-kill as long as you can't always counter every incoming blow. If counters stay instakill, then you've got an incentive to try for it instead of always just rolling out of the way.
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Dec 9, 2014 20:02
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DStecks posted:You could even keep counters as insta-kill as long as you can't always counter every incoming blow. If counters stay instakill, then you've got an incentive to try for it instead of always just rolling out of the way. They should have kept the original AssCreed combat system while just changing the enemy archetypes. A big stickler for me in the first game was that sergeants and elite guards were not readily recognizable. You saw more armor but that was it. AssCreed 2 at least kept the same uniforms between cities so you could immediately go, "Oh, that guy is a captain, and that's a brute, so what I'm gonna do is..." In the end, I think the original combat system fell apart because they wanted to add more to combat other than one weapon + 4 different moves and change it to 2 weapons and 2-3 moves.
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Dec 9, 2014 20:21
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Assassin's Creed combat is buggy as poo poo and adding any nuance to it is just begging for a 100% broken game.
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Dec 9, 2014 20:25
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 What in the gently caress. They somehow made an elf lesbian romance more hosed up and stupid than the second game where you murder an entire village of elves so your elf girlfriend who summoned a demon doesn't feel bad about it being her fault. edit - Also Sera somehow looks like a young Mick Jagger after a meth binge.
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Dec 9, 2014 20:51
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 Literally the only part of that that isn't terrible is the tackle, because it is the only part that is an action instead of Bioware romance words. For a brief second reprieve I didn't have to hear them talk. I guess the lady who wanted to get out and not be involved was okay too, because she's the one character who acted believably.
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Dec 9, 2014 21:04
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Alteisen posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sOYJVmFUFg4#t=142 That's a character that you can kill, or otherwise shuffle out of the game somehow... Right?
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Dec 9, 2014 21:10
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moosecow333 posted:That's a character that you can kill, or otherwise shuffle out of the game somehow... Right? You can say "HELL no" when she asks to join you, something I deeply regret not doing when I had the chance. You can't even be mean to her, she just thinks it's funny. At least in the previous games I could get some catharsis with the annoying companions by being an rear end in a top hat to Alistair all the time or selling Fenris into slavery or w/e.
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Dec 9, 2014 21:43
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While that is kind of weird at least it wasn't as bad as the sex scenes from Dragon Age: Origins where everyone has sex with their underwear on.
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Dec 9, 2014 21:53
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