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goldjas
Feb 22, 2009

I HATE ALL FORMS OF FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT. I HATE BEAUTY. I AM GOLDJAS.

Super Ninja Fish posted:

We need to discuss Ex-Death disguising himself as a splinter in Cara's foot alongside the FF13 gibberish nonsense.





Not if the talking turtle has anything to say about it!



What's there to discuss? This is pretty much amazing.

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Punch Card
Sep 13, 2005

by Ralp

ImpAtom posted:

The way it basically works is this:

At some point, the universe was created. It was not created by Bhunivelze. It is divided into Life and Afterlife.

Bhunivelze's mom was the one in charge of the Life part of the world. Bhunivelze murdered her rear end and took over. However, murdering her meant she was still chilling in the afterlife. So he decided he was going to find a way into the afterlife to murder his mom for reals this time. He couldn't get there himself in any way which didn't involve dying. He didn't want to die, so he wanted to find a way to bust the door to the afterlife open.

He created two God-Robots to find a way into the afterlife. He also created a third God-Robot called Etro but decided she was kinda lovely (he was right) and refused to have anything more to do with her. She killed herself. Keeping in mind that "kill yourself" means you go to the Afterlife. Etro accidentally ended up ruler of the afterlife. The other God-Robots ended up creating humanity out of her corpse/blood/whatever. Because of those two factors, humanity ended up outside of the God-Robot cycle because Etro started shaping Chaos into souls and shoving it into humans. Etro did this because she is so overly and absurdly sympathetic that she will do harmful dangerous things basically on a whim. (See also: Yuel, saving the protagonists, literally the entire plot of FFXIII-2.) Etro is also a giant fuckup so this always goes wrong 100% of the time.

The two remaining God-Robots began to try to figure out ways into the afterlife. Humanity played a central role in that. So they ended up creating lesser God-Robots to basically treat humanity like cattle and keep them growing and raising them. Then the two great God Robots hosed off to go try out things to get into the afterlife. The lesser God-Robots (The Fal'Cie) did this for a long time until some of them got frankly sick of what amounted to being abandoned and began trying to find a way to force their masters to come back by killing an insane shitload of humans. Either this breaks open Etro's Gate and their bosses come back and are like "great job, guys" or it killed an absurd number of humans and their bosses come back and are like "you motherfuckers." Either way they win because they're not stuck being the immortal nursemaids for a bunch of humans anymore.

The Fal'Cie are robots who have to follow the exact letter of their programming. They can not deviate from it. However they can exploit the poo poo out of loopholes. Barthandalus is basically exploiting a giant loophole where his job was to find a way to get to the Afterlife and boy, killing a lot of humans sure might work. They also have a loophole where they can create l'cie and give them Focuses. They can exploit the loophole of the Focus to get the L'cie to do poo poo they can't do themselves.

That is where FFXIII starts.

This is legitimately the best explanation of FFXIII's universe's batshit plot that I've seen. I applaud your effort and empathize with that painful dull buzzing in your head that had to have been omnipresent when trying to sort out this nonsense

Looper
Mar 1, 2012

Super Ninja Fish posted:

We need to discuss Ex-Death disguising himself as a splinter in Cara's foot alongside the FF13 gibberish nonsense.





Not if the talking turtle has anything to say about it!



FFV owns

Pureauthor
Jul 8, 2010

ASK ME ABOUT KISSING A GHOST
Still images can't do justice to what Sage Ghido does in that scene.

Dubious
Mar 7, 2006

The Heroes the Vikings Deserve
Lipstick Apathy
Ghido best turtle

corn in the bible
Jun 5, 2004

Oh no oh god it's all true!
Hahaha OK Hope is god, this game is amazing.

Pesky Splinter
Feb 16, 2011

A worried pug.

Super Ninja Fish posted:

We need to discuss Ex-Death disguising himself as a splinter in Cara's foot alongside the FF13 gibberish nonsense.





Not if the talking turtle has anything to say about it!



What? You think he sat around eating pizza all day? :v:
I love FFV

DACK FAYDEN
Feb 25, 2013

Bear Witness
Anyone else playing FF6 Beyond Chaos? I'm stuck in South Figaro. He took out the stealing-clothes mechanic - or at least I can't trigger it - and listed it as a "wontfix" issue on github when someone else asked and mentioned something about "people not knowing about the secret passage across the river".

Well, I don't loving know that, and I'd like to keep playing the game. Why he didn't just do what the other randomizer did and flag it so Locke steals clothing on hit, I don't know. Any help?

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

DACK FAYDEN posted:

Anyone else playing FF6 Beyond Chaos? I'm stuck in South Figaro. He took out the stealing-clothes mechanic - or at least I can't trigger it - and listed it as a "wontfix" issue on github when someone else asked and mentioned something about "people not knowing about the secret passage across the river".

Well, I don't loving know that, and I'd like to keep playing the game. Why he didn't just do what the other randomizer did and flag it so Locke steals clothing on hit, I don't know. Any help?

The secret bridge is behind this building:



I don't remember whether it lets you bypass ALL the clothes-stealing, but I'm pretty sure it'll let you get to the pub and kill the merchant to take his cider, which then gets you to the basement of that big house and bypasses most of the "steal this guy's clothes to bypass this checkpoint" stuff.

Though it is pretty lovely of the guy to not bother fixing it since not everybody knows about that passage.

Legin Noslen
Sep 9, 2004
Fortified with Rhiboflavin

DACK FAYDEN posted:

Anyone else playing FF6 Beyond Chaos? I'm stuck in South Figaro. He took out the stealing-clothes mechanic - or at least I can't trigger it - and listed it as a "wontfix" issue on github when someone else asked and mentioned something about "people not knowing about the secret passage across the river".

Well, I don't loving know that, and I'd like to keep playing the game. Why he didn't just do what the other randomizer did and flag it so Locke steals clothing on hit, I don't know. Any help?

Is FF6 Beyond Chaos like a FF6 Hard Type hack? Its possible to bypass the clothes stealing by fighting the Magi-Tek Soldier standing in Mega64's picture above and taking the secret passage, but hes hard as hell (its also what youre supposed to do in a normal FF6 low-step run.)

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy

Mega64 posted:

The secret bridge is behind this building:



I don't remember whether it lets you bypass ALL the clothes-stealing, but I'm pretty sure it'll let you get to the pub and kill the merchant to take his cider, which then gets you to the basement of that big house and bypasses most of the "steal this guy's clothes to bypass this checkpoint" stuff.

Though it is pretty lovely of the guy to not bother fixing it since not everybody knows about that passage.

I am playing Beyond Chaos as well and he does fix this problem as well as the Vargus fight that ends with a Pummel. He moved the Magi-Tech soldier to the side you can now just walk right past him, there is no need to steal any clothes in that scenario.

Also: Beyond Chaos rules, it's like I'm playing an entirely new game.

Legin Noslen posted:

Is FF6 Beyond Chaos like a FF6 Hard Type hack? Its possible to bypass the clothes stealing by fighting the Magi-Tek Soldier standing in Mega64's picture above and taking the secret passage, but hes hard as hell (its also what youre supposed to do in a normal FF6 low-step run.)

It's actually way better than a normal hack. It's a program that changes random values in FF6 in order to generate an infinite variety of differant FF6 ROM hacks :v:
http://www.ff6hacking.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=2716

Rutibex fucked around with this message at 14:31 on Dec 12, 2014

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon

Rutibex posted:

Dialog being constrained by the memory of a 500KB cartridge was actually a blessing for Square it seems.

I think the real killer here is voice acting. 9 was the best of course, and 7 was mostly hampered by its translation. 8, time kompression and amnesia aside, is the best representation of teenage heroes I've ever seen.

Get Innocuous!
Dec 6, 2011

come together
That reminds me of the super fun glitch in FF6 where you can clip into one of the soldiers in that town during Locke's scenario and completely bypass every event that happens there. That includes recruiting Celes into your party so when you reach the end boss for that scenario she's replaced with one of the generic moogles you meet at the beginning of the game. It's completely permanent too, and you'll have to use an incredibly weak moogle in place of Celes for the solo parts in the World of Ruin.

TommyGun85
Jun 5, 2013

Get Innocuous! posted:

That reminds me of the super fun glitch in FF6 where you can clip into one of the soldiers in that town during Locke's scenario and completely bypass every event that happens there. That includes recruiting Celes into your party so when you reach the end boss for that scenario she's replaced with one of the generic moogles you meet at the beginning of the game. It's completely permanent too, and you'll have to use an incredibly weak moogle in place of Celes for the solo parts in the World of Ruin.

FF6 has the most (and funnest) sequence breaking glitches ive ever encountered in a game.

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

Wasn't there a big thread that some dude did here chronicling all the broken stuff in FF6?

TommyGun85
Jun 5, 2013

YIKES Stay Gooned posted:

Wasn't there a big thread that some dude did here chronicling all the broken stuff in FF6?

that dude was a she I believe. Elephantgun.

its a very good LP.

TommyGun85 fucked around with this message at 15:13 on Dec 12, 2014

Get Innocuous!
Dec 6, 2011

come together
Yeah here: https://lparchive.org/Breaking-Final-Fantasy-VI/

If you haven't experienced the hilarity that is the Sketch Glitch then you are missing out.

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



goldjas posted:

What's there to discuss? This is pretty much amazing.

There's "Why didn't Super Ninja Fish post the superior GBA translation?" to discuss.





(second one in particular is :black101: as gently caress)

edit: bonus sassy old man Galuf:

Kyrosiris fucked around with this message at 15:41 on Dec 12, 2014

Get Innocuous!
Dec 6, 2011

come together
I'm trying to think back throughout the series, and I don't believe there is a single more likable FF character than Galuf.

Krad
Feb 4, 2008

Touche

Get Innocuous! posted:

I'm trying to think back throughout the series, and I don't believe there is a single more likable FF character than Galuf.

Vivi. :colbert:

Blackheart
Mar 22, 2013

I think Exdeath even uses the same viscera taunt twice.

DACK FAYDEN
Feb 25, 2013

Bear Witness

Rutibex posted:

I am playing Beyond Chaos as well and he does fix this problem as well as the Vargus fight that ends with a Pummel. He moved the Magi-Tech soldier to the side you can now just walk right past him, there is no need to steal any clothes in that scenario.

Also: Beyond Chaos rules, it's like I'm playing an entirely new game.
Yes, that soldier is moved out of the way! I just didn't know about the bridge.

Also, Vargas took me five tries because Sabin came with Fight, Capture, Item, and R. Blessing - so I just spammed the Random Blessing spells until I got Big Guard, Remedy (actually it was Tapir) that removed Condemned, and Golem, and then slowly punched him to death.

In Training
Jun 28, 2008

Get Innocuous! posted:

Yeah here: https://lparchive.org/Breaking-Final-Fantasy-VI/

If you haven't experienced the hilarity that is the Sketch Glitch then you are missing out.

Thanks I read this at work because nothing was going on, very cool stuff in there

Fur20
Nov 14, 2007

すご▞い!
君は働か░い
フ▙▓ズなんだね!

Get Innocuous! posted:

I'm trying to think back throughout the series, and I don't believe there is a single more likable FF character than Galuf.

I think Zidane is on Galuf-tier because Galuf would probably also take a piss off the side of a holy site.

ZenMasterBullshit
Nov 2, 2011

Restaurant de Nouvelles "À Table" Proudly Presents:
A Climactic Encounter Ending on 1 Negate and a Dream

The White Dragon posted:

I think Zidane is on Galuf-tier because Galuf would probably also take a piss off the side of a holy site.

Dissidia 3 better have Galuf just chilling with Bartz and Zidane.

maou shoujo
Apr 12, 2014

ニンゲンの表裏一体

The White Dragon posted:

I think Zidane is on Galuf-tier because Galuf would probably also take a piss off the side of a holy site.

When does that happen in FFIX?

Oxxidation
Jul 22, 2007

maou shoujo posted:

When does that happen in FFIX?

Madain Sari. He does it with Vivi. He also makes it a bonding exercise, because Zidane Tribal does not do things half-way.

Adam Bowen
Jan 6, 2003

This post probably contains a Rickroll link!

Blackheart posted:

I think Exdeath even uses the same viscera taunt twice.

Yep, the second time I was thinking I'd read that exact line somewhere before and then I remembered it was also Exdeath. It's a pretty good taunt but if you're going to be evil you need to come up with more and rotate them.

Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine
Trees are notoriously uncreative.

Mega64
May 23, 2008

I took the octopath less travelered,

And it made one-eighth the difference.

Get Innocuous! posted:

Yeah here: https://lparchive.org/Breaking-Final-Fantasy-VI/

If you haven't experienced the hilarity that is the Sketch Glitch then you are missing out.

Everyone should read this because the twist in the final update is fantastic (as is everything else in the LP).

bloodychill
May 8, 2004

And if the world
should end tonight,
I had a crazy, classic life
Exciting Lemon

Mega64 posted:

Everyone should read this because the twist in the final update is fantastic (as is everything else in the LP).

My friend who's uncle who works at Nintendo swears this is how he did it.

Evil Fluffy
Jul 13, 2009

Scholars are some of the most pompous and pedantic people I've ever had the joy of meeting.

Super Ninja Fish posted:

How were you supposed to know that before instantly dying?

It's not just this part though. There's the monster in the basement of a castle that's pretty much auto death, there's this other castle in the middle of your path that entering it is auto death, there's enemies that do Lv 5 death which killed my entire party instantly. You have to save a lot with this game.

The game's pretty explicit about the whole "on this side use magic, on the other side use physical" and so yeah when you break the rules fork tower breaks you. It's like complaining that you can't beat Whelk in FF6 because once he goes in his shell his counter attacks keep killing you.

Super Ninja Fish posted:

Well yeah, but come on, every player is going to go there anyway. Some of the time the people in a RPG tell you not to leave the first town because there's monsters outside.

I just thought that sentence meant he was really really hard, not impossible.

You can kill the rear end in a top hat monster in the basement but you need to know what you're doing and run specific part setups. It's better to just use a party of thieves and spam flee from it.

Kyrosiris posted:

Only twice? That's precious. :allears:

My first 4JF was WM WM BM Geomancer. Fork Tower was nothing. The boss in the floating fort? The one where you have to melee him during one of his forms. That was harder than blowing up Shinryu. I've never had a party that ran in to issues with Fork tower though. Last year my team was some overpowered nonsense like Blue Mage, Red Mage, Bard, Chemist in what was the easiest FF5 run ever.

Pesky Splinter
Feb 16, 2011

A worried pug.

maou shoujo posted:

When does that happen in FFIX?

Oxxidation posted:

Madain Sari. He does it with Vivi. He also makes it a bonding exercise, because Zidane Tribal does not do things half-way.

Via TWD's LP (Zidane is Kilika)



Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



Evil Fluffy posted:

My first 4JF was WM WM BM Geomancer. Fork Tower was nothing. The boss in the floating fort? The one where you have to melee him during one of his forms. That was harder than blowing up Shinryu. I've never had a party that ran in to issues with Fork tower though. Last year my team was some overpowered nonsense like Blue Mage, Red Mage, Bard, Chemist in what was the easiest FF5 run ever.

Haha, yeah, Archaeoavis undead form with all magical classes, no Level 5 Death, and no source of non-elemental magic blows. Everyone get your knives out! :shepicide:

TommyGun85
Jun 5, 2013
the results would be interesting if someone took that FF6 randomizer and applied those breaking scenarios from Elephantgun's LP.

some bust on that guy
Jan 21, 2006

This avatar was paid for by the Silent Majority.

Evil Fluffy posted:

The game's pretty explicit about the whole "on this side use magic, on the other side use physical" and so yeah when you break the rules fork tower breaks you. It's like complaining that you can't beat Whelk in FF6 because once he goes in his shell his counter attacks keep killing you.

Except you're told during the battle and Whelk doesn't instantly kill your party. In FFV, someone in a nearby town tells you. The last time I went to that town was when the tower still had the barrier up and before I got the second tablet. That was maybe a week ago for me.

Of course I don't mean this to be a big complaint. I only lost 30 seconds of game time when I died. I'm liking FFV a lot. It was just something I found funny. He had to attack two times for 9999, not just once, and this monster had to be on this one part that only allowed you to have two characters.

Schwartzcough
Aug 12, 2009

Don't tease the Octopus, kids!

Super Ninja Fish posted:

Except you're told during the battle and Whelk doesn't instantly kill your party. In FFV, someone in a nearby town tells you. The last time I went to that town was when the tower still had the barrier up and before I got the second tablet. That was maybe a week ago for me.

Of course I don't mean this to be a big complaint. I only lost 30 seconds of game time when I died. I'm liking FFV a lot. It was just something I found funny. He had to attack two times for 9999, not just once, and this monster had to be on this one part that only allowed you to have two characters.

Based on your pictures I'm guessing you got hit with two 9999 counters because you attacked with a Ninja, who hits two times. I think there's only one counter per "attack," but it will count multiple hits of multi-hit attacks. So there you go.

Kyrosiris
May 24, 2006

You try to be happy when everyone is summoning you everywhere to "be their friend".



Schwartzcough posted:

Based on your pictures I'm guessing you got hit with two 9999 counters because you attacked with a Ninja, who hits two times. I think there's only one counter per "attack," but it will count multiple hits of multi-hit attacks. So there you go.

Sorta. The first and second attacks by a unit will provoke counters if they match a monster's counter script, but beyond that they will not. This is why when you Rapid Fire you only provoke two counters in spite of hitting four times. :eng101: (I forget the interactions of Dual Wield with Rapid Fire but I can test if anyone gives a poo poo.)

And yes, the list of poo poo that provokes on React: Physical is crazy.

maou shoujo
Apr 12, 2014

ニンゲンの表裏一体

Pesky Splinter posted:

Via TWD's LP (Zidane is Kilika)





omg lmfao I am never forgetting this again

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Pesky Splinter
Feb 16, 2011

A worried pug.

maou shoujo posted:

omg lmfao I am never forgetting this again

The other funny part is Eiko is actually listening in on Zidane and Vivi's heart to heart, is like "What the gently caress?", and runs off in disgust/horror when she realises what they're doing.

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