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You've said multiple times in your life you had a time in which you had no debt, and nothing to worry about and everything went downhill and now you're here. Your analogy doesn't work. Your analogy really doesn't work when this is all you need.
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Dec 12, 2014 20:48
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Knyteguy posted:We're already at YNAB step 4, though. If you don't consider fatherhood reason enough to straighten out your finances, I don't know what you think this thread can do to make you want to.
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Dec 12, 2014 20:52
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Veskit posted:You've said multiple times in your life you had a time in which you had no debt, and nothing to worry about and everything went downhill and now you're here. Your analogy doesn't work. Your analogy really doesn't work when this is all you need. No debt, but I was still juggling bills from being unemployed (just before my first thread). What I meant to say when I said I've had periods I've had no debt, is I wish I hadn't gotten into debt because right now we'd have a heck of a lot more free income. One of those times I had no debt I was lucky to eat a meal a day from the dollar menu Del Taco because gas to work and back ate every cent I had while living on my friend's floor. However if we had no debt then my wife putting in her 2 weeks right now would be totally feasible. So there's another example: the freedom of more family time. Good call on the picture. Even though OF pretty much said just that the picture helped for some reason. Still open to more examples though! Also that's two times I've posted about being very poor at one time. So... another example is possibly: if I become good with money, then perhaps my son doesn't need to be an example of the losing side of the marshmallow test like I've been? Not that I'm putting the responsibility of my poor decisions on anyone but myself.
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Dec 12, 2014 21:00
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April posted:If you don't consider fatherhood reason enough to straighten out your finances, I don't know what you think this thread can do to make you want to. (sorry for the double posts I keep doing) Meh I'm just feeling negative right now since our numbers went down last month instead of up and it's been all overcast for the past week so that's probably not helping. Please don't take this as a permanent feeling, because I don't think it is.
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Dec 12, 2014 21:02
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Veskit posted:You should go back to counseling. You're kind of broken if you forgot the point... Knyteguy posted:Financially, right now, I'm a fat guy who has always been fat. I don't know first hand the benefits of being fit. I've lost 10 lbs or so sure, but I also gained a few lbs back over Thanksgiving and my mindset is a little negative at the moment. I don't think Veskit is being hyperbolic at all. If you genuinely can't remember why you should be budgeting and need examples and reassurances on a regular basis, I don't know what to say. You made a great analogy. A fat person may not know the benefits of being fit, but they should certainly know the detriments of being fat. Financially, if you can't see why it's not a great idea to be fat and think it's totally fine, there's not much anyone can say to convince you otherwise. People are free to live their life, fit or fat, financially responsible or irresponsible. You have to want to lose weight, and you have to want to be financially responsible. If you don't, you don't. Knyteguy posted:Everyone can stop reminding me I'm supposed to be a dad now also. I'm pretty well informed of that and it becomes grating. My parents were terrible with money and I grew up happy as can be even eating eggs, beans, and hotdogs for much of my early childhood. I parse the first part of this as, "My parents were bad with money, so it's okay for me to be bad with money." This is a silly argument to justify bad behavior, but again, you're free to live your life how you want. The part about food is weird because eating eggs and beans is pretty frugal and not unhealthy. Was there anything you remember that you couldn't do because your family couldn't afford it? If you really need more reasons to explain why acting financially responsible is good and will better your life, I'll get as basic as I can: When you're good with money, you have more money. When you have more money, even just a little more than you need, you can worry less about money, and making ends meet. That alone should be a major stress relief, like Old Fart said. It's a huge weight off your back to be debt free, and watch your savings numbers grow every month. You sometimes come off as very stressed in your posts here, and people browbeat you when they think you get stressed, disappear from the thread, and end up buying things. When you have "enough" money and good financial habits, money starts to take care of itself, and it's no longer a thing to worry about. Having "more than enough" money puts you in all the sort of situations you've talked about. Your wife could take a longer maternity leave, or even stay home with the child. You could consider having a second child sooner, if that's something you're interested in. Her having a job or side-business during that time would be a bonus, and not something that feels forced. If you've ever worried about losing your job, having good financial discipline and a pile of savings can completely remove that stress from your life. If you really can't see why you should be doing this, we can't help you.
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Dec 12, 2014 21:06
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You may have grown up happy as can be but you also grew up as someone who got themselves miserably in debt, to the point where you readily have to make decisions about whether to compromise your financial goals and being close to your family, or have your wife stay home with your child, or play playstation games. I'm not trying to say your life sucks, it doesn't sound like it does, but wouldn't you want more than anything for your child to never have to make choices like that? Imparting the lesson on your child will make them happier and more free for a large portion of their life, and it will ring hollow if you don't live it yourself. Don't you want to retire at some point and not be a drain on your child's finances? They will certainly feel obligated to help you if you can't pay your own way.
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Dec 12, 2014 21:09
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My parents supported me all through college, tuition (albeit at a cheap university) and a living stipend. Between that, my wife getting the GI Bill, and working part-time jobs, we were basically rich for college students. But instead of saving money, we blew it on tech crap and eating out wayyy too often. My wife had to take out student loans for her first semester and had some pre-marriage debt to her parents, and we still had that on graduating, when we didn't need to. Not much improvement in financial sense plus having a kid our first year out of college meant that for a while we were practically paycheck to paycheck (aside from modest 401k contributions). It was stressful being the sole provider with no real financial cushion, especially since my first year at Amazon was...not good (it got much better later). Now that I have at least a good year and a half's worth of money and taxable stocks as a buffer, I don't worry nearly as much about losing my job. It's nice.
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Dec 12, 2014 21:23
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Knyteguy posted:Everyone can stop reminding me I'm supposed to be a dad now also. I'm pretty well informed of that and it becomes grating. My parents were terrible with money and I grew up happy as can be even eating eggs, beans, and hotdogs for much of my early childhood. I think the point is not that you didn't have a happy childhood because your parents sucked with money but that you yourself suck with money and are having this struggle now partly because your parents sucked with money. If you sort your finances out now and teach your kid good habits with money then this struggle you are having now is one that they will never have to face. Like in your fat analogy; fat parents can have kids that are happy and successful. But if children learn bad eating habits when they are young it can cause them an extra struggle to deal with for the rest of their lives. Also the more sorted your finances are and the happier and less stressed you are the better you will be able to enjoy care-free quality time with the kid. And all the unexpected poo poo that happens in life won't carry additional stress from money worries. I don't know if this is particulary motivating but I used to suck with money and spend all I had every week. I gradually got better, mostly because I was broke for ages and just kinda stopped buying new things. When I stopped being a student and started being paid for full time work I saved a lot of money by just not increasing my spending again. When my dad was given a terminal diagnosis and then died, this meant that I had the freedom to take all the time off I needed and not worry about rent or bills or travel or being fired because of extended time off. The money I had saved allowed me to make the best decisions for my family and myself without the constraints of needing those paychecks now or being sunk. Being better with money has also given me the luxury of not having to worry about my mum's future when my dad's pension stops paying out to her 10 years after his death because I know I will be in a solid position to help her financially if necessary. I am also paying a decent amount into my own pension now (I never bothered before) because I want a comfortable retirment for me and my partner. Being better with money has also given him the option of quitting work to retrain in a field he loves and is not stressed out by. It is great seeing him happier and I am grateful that we can make these choices as a couple based on quality of life rather than financial necessity. For full disclosure I make a decent enough wage but nothing spectacular. I don't have a huge amount saved or anything but I am confident that I am on the right track and in the best position I can be to deal with whatever the future holds. I haven't really posted in BFC much, but I have lurked it for a long time and I have the good, solid advice from some of the goons here to thank for this.
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Dec 12, 2014 21:23
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^ thanks for sharing guys. That definitely helps. Icarus for sure I am very stressed lately. As far as something I couldn't do growing up (and I have full awareness of how much of a 1st world problem this is), it was going to France. I had an opportunity to travel with my high school class for a pretty reasonable price of like $2,000 for 2-3 weeks, and yea my parents couldn't afford it despite making probably $150,000 that year (they eventually got past the beans, eggs, and hotdogs phase, but they never got any better with money). But that's such a "wah" that I hate to even bring it up. However when a similar opportunity eventually comes up for my son, I would definitely be happy if we could provide the experience for him. Thanks again everyone. I just needed a little kick in the rear end/reminder there.
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Dec 12, 2014 21:50
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Knyteguy posted:Programming Talk Not everyone can just pick up programming and be good at it. You say your wife is enjoying programming so far, what does that even mean? What has she done? Have you talked about it a few times at meals? Or has she tried to code some stuff and enjoyed the challenge. I feel like you're treating this whole programming thing as a sure thing. Which is why you discuss just straight up having your wife quit her job to work on learning programming. Two jobs equally lovely and one has more pay? That's a pretty obvious choice, but I think you know that you're oversimplifying the problem. EDIT: I don't think it needs to be said, but nonetheless, if programming was super easy and anyone could do it they wouldn't be in such high demand right now. Bugamol fucked around with this message at 22:15 on Dec 12, 2014 |
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Dec 12, 2014 22:08
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^^^ Seriously. She needs to NOT quit her job. She needs to work on learning programming and hopefully she'll love it, but she can't drop her job to learn it because there's no guarantee she won't hate it. There's no amount of money you could pay me per year to do programming, frankly, but hopefully your wife doesn't feel the same way. (Also I completely missed the transition from, "MY WIFE WILL FOR SURE CONTINUE WORKING!" to "Hey, she wants to quit her job, what other thing can she do?" I seem to remember you being certain that this wouldn't happen.)Knyteguy posted:^ thanks for sharing guys. That definitely helps. No, that's a GREAT example. That is a great price and you missed out on it because your parents sucked at money... now you suck at money! Here's the thing...when you wake up on that first night home from the hospital, all on your own with that new baby dependent upon you for EVERYTHING, even making sure he's positioned correctly so he can continue BREATHING, it'll probably hit you. He's going to be looking at you from now on for the rest of your life, and he will learn all the terrible things you teach him by being poo poo at money, by being flighty, by being unwilling to change. He will grow up to be just as stressed out and miserable as you are right now if you don't shape the gently caress up, and that'll break your heart. You'll also probably want to give him the best of everything. That should help motivate you, too. If you want to motivate yourself to be a great parent, I recommend reading this thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3566058 If hearing what it's like having crazy parents/parents poo poo with money/poo poo with emotional junk/poo poo with poo poo doesn't help you, I don't know what will. By the way, being good with money means never having to worry. All the worry and stress you are feeling right now is your own doing. But the good news is, because you're the one who did it to yourself, you can undo it to yourself! This weekend was the windpocalypse here in the PNW and my power went out and therefore my sump pump didn't work, so I had to bail out my basement. And I was like, "Hmm, it'd be a lot easier to just have someone put a generator into the house so I don't have to bail out my basement every time the power goes out, which is always because I live in the middle of the goddamn woods." So someone's coming on Tuesday to give me quotes on generators, and it's gonna be about 5k, but I don't give a gently caress because I have 5k to blow on a generator so I don't have to bail out my basement at midnight whenever a tree falls in the forest. Is that first world as gently caress? It sure as hell is, and it's awesome. I'd rather spend time with my family and walk my dog and make more money than be constantly worrying about how much I just spent on loving groceries, but I can only do that because of the financial discipline I had earlier in my life. You have that power, man. Maybe not dropping 5k without worrying, but it can be 1k, or 2k. All the frantic justifications and freaking out and stress will just go away if you would stop blowing money at the drop of a hat. Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 23:08 on Dec 12, 2014 |
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Dec 12, 2014 23:05
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Yea I don't know when the transition happened with my wife's job thing, I don't think either of us knew how hard the holiday season would be (they drastically changed her schedule and didn't really give much of a heads up). There've been no decisions made yet though, except that she'll try to pick up a skill on her off time as she can. We understand it's probably a long shot, but that's OK as long as we can do it safely. I think her moving to the grocery store a couple blocks from us, or to her old company would be good for part time work. Good words Quantum Finger thanks. Everyone remember that "buy no new things" thing? I think I'll give that a go again in January. With the Christmas season out of the way it'll be a good exercise to try.
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Dec 13, 2014 00:00
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More storytime: A few months ago, we had a bunch of car maintenance/repair issues pop up, to the tune of $2500 or so; we were even starting to think about whether it made more sense to just replace the car (it's a 2002). And then my wife didn't stand her bike up correctly and it fell over onto someone else's car, which cost us several hundred dollars to repair. My reaction to these problems was basically, "Huh, that sucks. Oh well." and that was it because by that point our savings was high enough for those things to just be a little blip to our net worth. Heck, we could've gone out and bought a brand new car -- although of course we would never actually do such a thing, Mr. Money Mustache Be Praised -- to replace our current one in cash and we still would've had plenty of emergency fund to go around. That kind of financial security just feels great to have.
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Dec 13, 2014 00:21
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Do you know anyone at all who has had a baby recently? If you do, ask them about what they were able to accomplish during their maternity leave. Everyone will have the same answer, "Well I thought that I would get [x] organized and at least start [y] and [z] while baby slept...but before I knew it, three months was over and I had zero time to do any of those things." It would be great to learn a marketable skill during that time, but I wouldn't bank on it since many people find it hard to find time to shower regularly.
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Dec 13, 2014 00:35
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Bugamol posted:You say your wife is enjoying programming so far, what does that even mean? What has she done? Have you talked about it a few times at meals? Or has she tried to code some stuff and enjoyed the challenge. Can you answer this. What has your wife programmed so far and what did she like about it?
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Dec 13, 2014 01:54
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Robo Boogie Bot posted:Do you know anyone at all who has had a baby recently? If you do, ask them about what they were able to accomplish during their maternity leave. Everyone will have the same answer, "Well I thought that I would get [x] organized and at least start [y] and [z] while baby slept...but before I knew it, three months was over and I had zero time to do any of those things." It would be great to learn a marketable skill during that time, but I wouldn't bank on it since many people find it hard to find time to shower regularly. Seriously, this is what is going to happen. It has nothing to do with motivation and everything to do with how much work a baby is. Your house is going to be a disaster, your wife will probably be hormonal as gently caress, your animals are going to be climbing up the wall because you won't have any time for them, and you'll both be stinky and exhausted. You think moving is stressful? It ain't poo poo compared to a new baby. I'd move every month for the next ten years sooner than I'd have another baby. (One and done here.) Knyteguy posted:Everyone remember that "buy no new things" thing? I think I'll give that a go again in January. With the Christmas season out of the way it'll be a good exercise to try. No, you should do it now. Make cookies for Christmas and call it a day. You can change your life at any time, but if you wait until the "right" time to do it then it will never happen because the right time never comes. Strep Vote fucked around with this message at 02:27 on Dec 13, 2014 |
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Dec 13, 2014 02:24
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Knyteguy posted:What I'm truly asking is how will being good with money change the circumstances of being a father, and life, etc vs being bad with money? Like the maternity example leave that's a good one. Being good with money in my past would mean that my wife could take a year maternity leave, and I would be in a position to negotiate a paternity leave (and be free to walk if terms couldn't be met). Would love to hear more. I really hope that in March or April we don't end up hearing "I know having a baby was going to be hard but we can't get our budget under control because we're just too drat tired all the time to spend so much mental energy on tracking our spending, but we've maxed out one of our credit cards so I'm feeling really discouraged now, guys," because I am absolutely sure people have repeatedly mentioned concerns about your wife having to work or go back to work sooner than she'd prefer, and how hard it is to have a job and raise a baby at the same time. I'm not trying to poo poo on you or anything and I hope I've made it clear that I've been rooting for you this whole time but these are the unexpected situations that we keep telling you to plan around and you keep blowing us off about. And about your other question: Trying to micromanage money can be incredibly stressful (I haven't reread this in a long time but here's something: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2013/11/your-brain-on-poverty-why-poor-people-seem-to-make-bad-decisions/281780/ ) if you have to choose between two things that are necessities. One of the most powerful benefits of having your finances under control is that you can have everything you need and suddenly the questions you're answering are about "what do I want?" There's no worrying about bills, no worrying about what day your paycheck comes in, no worrying about the price of necessities or whether or not you can afford them. Obviously, this means you have to be able to evaluate whether or not something's actually a necessity -- money for the doctor's appointment? Well, that's necessary so you might as well pay whatever it takes, if you're not being ripped off, and you have an emergency fund if it's more than you budgeted. Money for a boat? Eating out every week just for fun? Yeah, that's when you start looking at your budget (don't buy a boat). "Throw money at the problem until it goes away" will work for almost all unexpected problems/emergencies, provided you have enough money. Get caught in a sudden storm and forgot the umbrella? Stop by a store and buy a new one. Unexpectedly working late and missing dinner? Order out. Kid has a school trip, wants to join a hockey team, needs new shoes because his feet keep growing? That costs money. If you're good with money, you make enough that you should be able to pay for everything you need, and save modestly, AND buy things you want as well. You're really not understanding the sense of security you feel when you know, confidently, that all your necessities can be provided for. Lastly, a child's success as an adult is very closely tied to its parents' socioeconomic status and how much parental support or attention it gets. There's a ton of studies about it and a very strong correlation (not causation) there, so if you want your child to be as successful as possible, having money to spare and teaching your child good financial habits by showing a good example can really help, even if it's not necessary. In short, class privilege is a powerful and amazing tool and if you can get it for yourself and provide it to your child, you absolutely should. EDIT: Also, your bank will be really nice to you whenever you talk to them or call them about anything. Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 03:02 on Dec 13, 2014 |
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Dec 13, 2014 02:59
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Knyteguy posted:Also guys I'm having trouble staying motivated. Any cool anecdotal stories or blurbs from anyone who used to be bad with money, and now you're good with money and it changed your life or something? I can't remember what the point of all of it is right now. My parents never taught me about money. Some of the stupid things I did with money because I didn't know any better include spending a $20K inheritance with nothing to show for it, paying for half of a $24K new car when I only made $10K/year, maxing out a couple of very low-limit credit cards in college and paying minimums on them, missing credit card payments and getting overdraft fees, and buying a condo with my parents when I only made $20K/year in grad school. I was always worried about money and thought that I just needed to make more in order to be less stressed. For a variety of reasons my attitude completely changed when I got married. We taught ourselves about investing and learned to save money on the tiny incomes of two grad students, which makes things really easy now. I mentioned upthread that we're expecting a baby, and we'll both be able to take our full maternity/paternity leaves (5 months total) because the reduced pay doesn't matter. I'm going to be negotiating a couple of job offers next month, and I plan to ask if I can start later because it also doesn't matter if I don't work (or only lecture for minimal cash) for a year and a half. It feels great to have the financial cushion to do whatever I want. I'm also wondering how much your wife is going to feel like learning a new job skill with a newborn. I know the existence of "baby/pregnant brain" is debatable but I've already found myself less able to concentrate on my work, which requires a lot of logic, math, and programming. A close friend of mine in the same field just came back from maternity leave and she got absolutely nothing done on her "baby work list" because of sleep deprivation. I'm planning on being a leaky human blob for three months...
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Dec 13, 2014 03:50
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Horking Delight posted:I really hope that in March or April we don't end up hearing "I know having a baby was going to be hard but we can't get our budget under control because we're just too drat tired all the time to spend so much mental energy on tracking our spending, but we've maxed out one of our credit cards so I'm feeling really discouraged now, guys," because I am absolutely sure people have repeatedly mentioned concerns about your wife having to work or go back to work sooner than she'd prefer, and how hard it is to have a job and raise a baby at the same time. But that's what makes this thread so great. Everyone says, "But what about X? What about when that happens?" and KG says, "That won't happen, we have the right attitude!" and then a few months later KG casually mentions that X happened and he's like, "yeah, we spent three grand on it, but we had to, WHO COULD HAVE EVER PREDICTED IT??" Fun times. Baja Mofufu posted:I'm also wondering how much your wife is going to feel like learning a new job skill with a newborn. I know the existence of "baby/pregnant brain" is debatable but I've already found myself less able to concentrate on my work, which requires a lot of logic, math, and programming. A close friend of mine in the same field just came back from maternity leave and she got absolutely nothing done on her "baby work list" because of sleep deprivation. I'm planning on being a leaky human blob for three months... My pregnancy made me rock stupid and it felt like a fog lifted the second I got the kid out of me. Then the PPD came! So yeah. KG, whatever you do, do not pressure your pregnant/post-partum wife to do poo poo like learn programming.
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Dec 13, 2014 04:40
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One thing I find frustrating sometimes is that we're trying to make you plan for what will make you happiest in the long term. As soon as you mentioned your wife was pregnant we pressured you to plan on living on one income and budgeting without her income and being prepared if the baby needs special something-or-other or you and your wife are too tired to cook (you've been great about this part, to your credit, and that's fantastic). And now you're talking about her learning a new skill and finding a new job while having a newborn because you guys might need the money and she's not happy at her current job, but she might need to go back to work soon. Don't you see? We're not trying to make you sacrifice things you need. We want you (and KnyteWife, and baby) to have everything you need, especially if it's "move to be near mom, who needs it", or "don't work for 3 months, because the stress is unbelievable". We're just trying to make it easier to see the choice to sacrifice what you want now for what you need later.
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Dec 13, 2014 05:37
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Knyteguy posted:I think she likes programming so far I liked programming as a CS student, but got really tired of it when it was time for me to do an internship and I was programming 25 hours a week. Most any new skill set you learn can be interesting for a little while, but that fades. Just be ready for it to possibly get dull/tedious/terrible for her.
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Dec 13, 2014 21:28
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You're a web dev right? Why not teach her basic HTML/CSS/PHP? Lots of entry level salaried work available at small-mid size marketing firms if she knows her way around WordPress and theme creation. She'd only need a rudimentary knowledge of programming and the problem->solution->visualization is a lot more obvious for a novice since the input output is so clearly structured.
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Dec 14, 2014 01:12
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Knyteguy posted:Also guys I'm having trouble staying motivated. Any cool anecdotal stories or blurbs from anyone who used to be bad with money, and now you're good with money and it changed your life or something? I can't remember what the point of all of it is right now. When my husband and I first started dating, we tracked our spending down to the cent, literally. He got paid hourly and spent all day processing health insurance claims. I was the "breadwinner" making $30,000 a year. Our first Christmas together, we couldn't even afford to get each other presents, but we fell in love with a cat that was up for adoption. I remember sitting together in the mall food court, running numbers on the adoption fee and estimating costs for food/supplies. We could barely afford the upfront costs alone. We adopted her anyway. We got in the habit of buying her food first, before we bought our own groceries, just so we'd never be in a situation where we couldn't afford to feed her. Months later, when he proposed, I told him we could only get married if we paid for it ourselves. We saved up until we had $500 that wasn't earmarked for bills. We had a $500 wedding, and it was perfect. We've been married for 7 years. It's totally bizarre to look at where we are now. We both went back to college and got higher paying jobs. We have around $100,000 in liquid assets. Last month, we moved $5,000 into a new investment because we didn't know what else to do with it. I don't know the first thing about investing. My mom is a compulsive spender/hoarder and neither of us grew up learning how to save. We had to figure it out together. We have three cats now (oh god it's a horrible mistake). We still like to get one Christmas present that's for both of us. We own only one car. It was my first car in high school and it's over 15 years old. I wouldn't trade our lean years for anything. We learned so much about ourselves and about each other. There's no way we could've laid out a plan back then to get us here. We had to take it one day at a time, making one decision at a time. "Don't eat out today."
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Dec 14, 2014 06:10
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I moved to Seattle with only $2000 to my name the day I turned 18 with no parents and had to finish high school. I managed to finish high school, get into a great college, self support for the vast majority of it through working 40 hrs a week and student loans for school for what they didn't cover with grants and scholarship. It was incredibly difficult but I came out with no credit card debt and a pretty great job. Met my husband when rooming with a bunch of folks in an apartment here. We fell in love. Dated for 7 years, finally got married with no help from family on Kauai. It's almost 10 years later now and I own a great house in Seattle proper that we bought in 2009. We are incredibly happy and considering adopting a child now. Oh and this was all after growing up with parents that checked every tick box in the crazy parents thread. They are god awful people who I've cut off all contact with. silicone thrills fucked around with this message at 07:13 on Dec 14, 2014 |
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Dec 14, 2014 06:45
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Cool stories everyone, thanks for sharing. It's good for me (and probably others) to hear about some of the benefits, even if that seems kind of unintuitive (like sigma said the benefit is having more money). A little anecdote of my own is my wife and I haven't worried about overdrafting our bank account in quite awhile, and that's a nice stress relief. I'll get back to everyone on the job questions and the other stuff tomorrow - I'm on my phone at the moment.
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Dec 14, 2014 08:27
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I think you should plan on your wife leaving her job when the kid comes, or when she is too pregnant to work. It doesn't seem like you've got a good plan for the daycare and you're really underestimating the costs. Additionally retail jobs are not terribly difficult to get when compared to other jobs. If you get in a real jam she could try to find a job. If you set yourself up to have her work evenings and you work days and you alternate childcare you will be utterly miserable. I'd use this option only as a last resort. The value that your wife will bring to your family by raising your child when he/she is young is not something that can be measured just in $$. In the next few months you should be trying to stash as much money away as possible. And this is important you must reduce your fixed costs as much as possible for when she stops working. This will set you up for two things. Whatever you have stashed away will function as your safety net. Then, the reduced fixed cost will allow you to live on your single income. I'd encourage the poster to stop looking backward at the mistakes kynte has made and help him gameplan for the future. I'll just highlight a few tough calls that if you can pull them off will significantly improves your odds of success: Figure out the car-even if this involves taking on more debt. Trade the fucker in to a dealer for a 5k car and whatever the upside down amount you are on the car. If you do your research I bet you might find the car is worth a fair bit more than you think. Reduce that huge monthly drain as much as possible. Get rid of fancy cell phone plans and any of those other fixed costs. Get rid of some or all of your animals. One animal getting even getting moderately sick could torpedo your entire safety net. Hit up everyone you know for cash. Have a baby shower where you ask for just cash. Have one of those diaper parties. Put up one of those gofundme things and shill it on facebook and here. This ain't the time to be proud. A young family asking for support is something people love to help with. If you have any religious connections, start attending a church. Many churches have all sorts of support for young families. Look into public / state / ymca sort of programs for families. Your income may disqualify you for many programs but I bet you'd be surprised what is still available to you.
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Dec 14, 2014 16:12
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n8r posted:Suggestions. Alot the "fixed cost" recommendations your pointed out have been rehashed time and time again. He traded in underwater cars with no down payment on a new underwater car. He is sincerely about 10k in the red on that thing. He's said time and time again he's not getting rid of any of the animals. He has a pretty cheap cell phone plan unless he changed it. I don't think his wife quitting her job is what's best with their current debt and income levels.
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Dec 15, 2014 01:58
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OK don't have much time today as we're on a work deadline. May start looking for another job after the baby is born, as I'll have 3 years of experience in the industry professionally (and much more hobbyist); I could probably swing 10-20% more than what I'm currently working for, with some studying. Regarding my wife's past experience with coding: she's dabbled a bit in Python, and Ruby on Rails. She also got very far with HTML/CSS, where she was finished with most of a book. Web design might be a great first step for her, but I don't know what the market is like compared to coding. Plus she'd have to learn Photoshop (which may take longer than anything else, imo). PHP is an option but I don't know anything at all about modern PHP so I wouldn't be able to coach her much. I won't expect her to do anything while the baby is a newborn except care for the baby, of course. We're thinking long term here when it comes to coding, and as of now perhaps a band aid fix working part time somewhere. QF: as much as I'd like to commit to not buying anything new right now, we've already bought one of our nephews their Christmas present, and we've got to get something for their brothers as well. I've already removed myself from the white elephant gift exchange for the adults (we'll share our gift as a couple) and my wife and I decided to cancel our own gift exchange. I might pick her up something small though since it's Christmas. Plus we need a few more Christmas supplies for the house. This is the first time her family has come down in the 5 years we've been together, so we're a little unprepared. Just need a few things still like a table (haven't had much luck at Goodwill). I will limit myself to buying as few new things as possible though. Cell phone is now $45/mo. My wife's old provider was terrible and it was causing issues like her boss being unable to get a hold of her (and instead calling me while I was at work and such). Couple quick positive notes: business revenue up to $440 this month with a $75 check waiting in the mail from my client, so that'll bring the total up to $515. That's less product cost, but not quite net. It's getting close to paying for that LLC for my other company, which I started spending time on again this past weekend.
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Dec 15, 2014 19:06
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  Second image has adjusted debt values, first one has old debt values. Delivery fees and HSA not updated. The real factor they have on our net worth is negligible however, since we'll have to use all of that money shortly. Consider that sharp spike upwards as more gradual over the months listed, since I haven't updated the debts in a couple months.
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Dec 15, 2014 20:49
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Why not return the one gift and then get everybody $20 gift cards to Amazon?
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Dec 15, 2014 21:15
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Old Fart posted:Why not return the one gift and then get everybody $20 gift cards to Amazon? This is a good idea - just talked about it with my wife, and we may go this route. There's only a few adults we're doing gifts for (baby on the way, after all. Aiming to do something cool for everyone next year). I'm still going to make some peppermint bark as well for a little added value.
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Dec 15, 2014 22:13
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Is CL in your area good? That could be a source for a table, I have seen a few on the PDX CL.
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Dec 15, 2014 22:13
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SiGmA_X posted:Is CL in your area good? That could be a source for a table, I have seen a few on the PDX CL. Nah, not really. Everyone wants too much for their stuff it seems like, to the point it's not worth it. Like "oh yea your item is 5 years old but you want $50 off full retail and full retail is $500? Awesome." I do check when looking for something, but I bet the bigger cities have much better offerings. Anyone with swap meet experience think I could find one there? Of course it might be a wash really - my wife's old work (grocery store) is selling a large card table with 4 chairs for $40. That's a pretty good deal right? That's all we really need, and maybe some thrift store tv trays.
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Dec 15, 2014 22:40
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Table with four chairs for $40 sounds like a pretty good deal to me, if it's all functional. Is there a college near you? Isn't now when winter semester ends and college kids start moving out?
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Dec 16, 2014 02:56
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Knyteguy posted:Nah, not really. Everyone wants too much for their stuff it seems like, to the point it's not worth it. Like "oh yea your item is 5 years old but you want $50 off full retail and full retail is $500? Awesome." I do check when looking for something, but I bet the bigger cities have much better offerings. Anyone with swap meet experience think I could find one there? Horking Delight posted:Table with four chairs for $40 sounds like a pretty good deal to me, if it's all functional. Is there a college near you? Isn't now when winter semester ends and college kids start moving out?
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Dec 16, 2014 03:03
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K thanks guys I will probably just go with the card table then; a family member actually got it last year and they said they use it all the time. We're actually turning into a bit of uni town I'll swing by the dorms and see if there is anything there first. And uh shoot I forgot what I was going to ask... Must not have been that important I guess. Edit no it was extremely important. I want life insurance asap - anyone have good recommendations for an agency? How much coverage should I shoot for? I already let my wife know to invest in index funds and ask all of you what else to do with the money if I die. Anything else I'm missing maybe? Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 04:01 on Dec 16, 2014 |
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Dec 16, 2014 03:50
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Make sure it's term life insurance and not whole life insurance, beyond that I don't know much.
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Dec 16, 2014 04:11
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Zander Insurance is super easy to get a quote from. I imagine its all pretty equal big-company-wise, but I have no basis for saying that outside of my past with auto insurance (they all suck equally, State Farm, Allstate, Farmers, eSurance, Progressive, etc, ALL).
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Dec 16, 2014 05:57
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SiGmA_X posted:Zander Insurance is super easy to get a quote from. I imagine its all pretty equal big-company-wise, but I have no basis for saying that outside of my past with auto insurance (they all suck equally, State Farm, Allstate, Farmers, eSurance, Progressive, etc, ALL). Thanks. I'm looking up term life @ Zander for 20 years, and a $750,000 policy seems to average about $60-$70/mo. Does anyone have opinions on that? Also, we ended up picking up that card table before we could run by the dorms. They only had one left in stock, and I didn't like the risk:reward ratio there. However it still might be worth swinging by to see if any coeds left stuff behind. E: ended up posting in the insurance thread on the specific insurance questions, but if anyone has some input on the actual cost of health insurance that'd be great. Should I aim lower with my income? Higher maybe? Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 01:46 on Dec 17, 2014 |
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Dec 17, 2014 01:34
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I feel like if life insurance was something you needed then someone would have brought it up by now.
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Dec 17, 2014 02:04
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