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Grapplejack posted:Yeah weirdly enough when the thread gets heated kaz actually updates I guess Audio's plan backfired.
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Nov 27, 2014 13:42
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| # ? May 28, 2024 02:51 |
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spinning wildly in my seat atm
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Nov 27, 2014 14:08
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Zoe posted:Guys, poo poo up the thread some more, your smeared feces seems to work as some sort of amazing motivational tool! Is this the equivalent of posting Goblins in the OOTS thread
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Dec 3, 2014 18:09
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Welp, I checked the site today andquote:12/13/14 – Attempt at making chicken nuggets ended at the hospital. Long story short, next update will be late. 
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Dec 14, 2014 00:06
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How do you gently caress up chicken nuggets
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Dec 14, 2014 03:12
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I'm guessing an accident involving the frying oil.
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Dec 14, 2014 03:14
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My best guess is he decided to do it with ground chicken bound with chicken fat. Step one, buy a lot of boneless chicken pieces and put them in a meat grinder along with some sort of fat...
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Dec 14, 2014 03:17
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Tarezax posted:I'm guessing an accident involving the frying oil. Imagine this, but with chicken instead of corn. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ps6mpuJuF54
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Dec 14, 2014 05:10
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Actually it was about ethics in fast food journalism.
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Dec 14, 2014 06:56
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The idea of a chicken nugget-induced injury is kind of inherently funny and all, but getting a major burn of any kind definitely isn't, and hot oil is the worst.  Of course that's just a guess as to the most likely cause, whatever the case I hope it's nothing too serious and he recovers soon.
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Dec 14, 2014 07:19
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Bono ended up in the hospital with multiple broken bones after taking a spill on his bicycle, IIRC.
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Dec 14, 2014 07:52
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Is it wrong that the -very- first thing that jumps into my mind is the fingat incident? A chicken fingat incident in this case. Ra Ra Rasputin fucked around with this message at 09:11 on Dec 14, 2014 |
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Dec 14, 2014 09:08
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I don't know that it has come up anywhere else, but in the /co/ prequel threads Kaz has mentioned and even provided the occasional live updates in his attempts to create food for himself. These days, if Kaz just mentions preparing a meal, the thread becomes something akin to a suicide watch. There had been a few incidents, but one in particular ended in an exploding oven. I think he may have angered the spirit of a particularly surly chef.
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Dec 14, 2014 10:33
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I am laughing.
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Dec 14, 2014 12:39
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at a certain point it's best to accept your lot in life and just live off of fast food and the deli section
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Dec 14, 2014 15:03
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Jackard posted:How do you gently caress up chicken nuggets Read Whomp! and find out.
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Dec 14, 2014 15:13
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lately whomp's been more about chicken nuggets loving up you  then again that's also pretty applicable to the situation so
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Dec 14, 2014 15:18
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quote:12/14/14 – Now I have the flu.
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Dec 15, 2014 01:07
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Could it be the bird flu? From the nuggets.
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Dec 15, 2014 01:20
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So the legends of Kazerad's inability to cook anything are true?
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Dec 15, 2014 01:29
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Oh he can cook. Not particularly well, mind you, but still. The question is whether there will be any survivors to enjoy the meal. edit: apparently the venture began in the crafting of chicken nuggets with canned chicken. Sharp can edges were too wily for him, and sliced open his (non-drawing) thumb.  Some other past misadventure involved trying to make meringue using a whisk taped to a power drill. Cthulhuchan fucked around with this message at 01:52 on Dec 15, 2014 |
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Dec 15, 2014 01:37
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Kazerad, just do yourself a favor and follow the recipe exactly. Don't loving tape poo poo to power tools in your loving kitchen you idiot
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Dec 15, 2014 02:06
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And people listen to this dudes advice.
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Dec 15, 2014 02:09
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Common sense is not so common.
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Dec 15, 2014 02:27
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I would absolutely watch a cooking show hosted by Kazerad.
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Dec 15, 2014 02:37
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Zoe posted:I would absolutely watch a cooking show hosted by Kazerad. "Alright, for this part of the recipe you gotta stir the Doritos™ into the mixture for five minutes by hand. Now instead of watching me do it I had my helper do it while you guys were watching me! ...alright here's $20 bucks to GameStop..."
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Dec 15, 2014 03:12
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umalt posted:"Alright, for this part of the recipe you gotta stir the Doritos™ into the mixture for five minutes with a weedeater." A bit more how I envision it.
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Dec 15, 2014 04:41
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XtBVhTBzjk actual footage of kaz cooking
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Dec 15, 2014 04:58
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Remora posted:Kazerad, just do yourself a favor and follow the recipe exactly. Don't loving tape poo poo to power tools in your loving kitchen you idiot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nbzw6y0pF3U
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Dec 15, 2014 09:12
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Cthulhuchan posted:Oh he can cook. Not particularly well, mind you, but still. He got salmonella from eating a raw thawed chicken
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Dec 15, 2014 10:28
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At this point I'd believe he was pecked to death by a chicken that he was trying to throw into a vat of boiling oil.
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Dec 15, 2014 10:36
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At this rate it won't be long until we get an update that reads something along the lines of "tried making some instant noodles: micro-meteorites hit my house, wrecking my PC and fridge"
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Dec 15, 2014 11:48
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tried boiling water for noodles, water turned out to be nitroglycerine
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Dec 15, 2014 12:01
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People said Prequel was just misery-porn, but Katia's life turns out to just be a metaphor for Kaz's attempts to cook.
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Dec 15, 2014 15:46
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next time must remember to boil water in a cooking vessel of some kind, hands are not a substitute attempts to microwave chicken have led to a horrible feathery mess
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Dec 15, 2014 15:48
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when microwaving egg, remember to first remove eggshell
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Dec 15, 2014 15:55
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Jackard posted:when microwaving egg, remember to first remove eggshell I can tell you from the time my dad tried to poach an egg in the microwave that that is of little use; it was the saddest, wettest explosion in history.
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Dec 15, 2014 16:00
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there is no tape in that video, therefore I don't see what your point is
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Dec 15, 2014 17:02
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Ah, I managed to miss the part about taping things. Sorry.
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Dec 15, 2014 18:40
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| # ? May 28, 2024 02:51 |
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SOMETHING AWFUL FORUMS, I am going to tell you the harrowing tale of my chicken nuggets. The first thing I would like to establish is that, during these events I am about to describe, I had not slept in a long time and also had a very high fever. This is not meant to excuse choices I made, but rather I feel it is necessary knowledge to understand the logic I employ therein. Anyway, this story begins with me, having not slept in a very long time, wanting to go to bed. However, I had a problem: I was hungry, and I feared this would be inhibitory to sleep. I didn't have much food around my house since, like Tollymain said, I have long since realized that I should under no circumstances be allowed to prepare my own food. I was feeling too sick to walk to a restaurant, though, so I decided it was time to get creative. I carefully examined the meager ingredients I had, and I came up with a plan. I was going to make chicken nuggets.  I didn't actually know anything about making chicken nuggets, of course, but in my feverish delirium I planned the creation of what I viewed to be a passable facsimile. First, I would crush up a box of Chex. Then, I would pour the remains into a ziplock with some canned chicken and a bunch of buffalo sauce, shaking them up and in theory utilizing the sauce's adhesive properties to "bread" the chicken with the crumbs. Then, I would somehow fish the chicken bits out and microwave or bake them or something. I wasn't sure. I was going to cross that bridge when I got to it. Absolutely nothing about this struck me as a bad idea. Crushing up the Chex was relatively uneventful. If nothing else, I proved pretty good at breaking things. Next, I opened up the can of chicken, drained it, and dumped the remaining chicken-slugs into the bag with my Chex apocalypse. However, this is where I ran into my problem: I couldn't get all of the semisolid chickenbits out of the can.  I shook it as hard as I could, but the can's still-connected lid got in the way and limited my motions. I couldn't use a knife or something to scoop the chicken out, since then I wouldn't have a hand to hold the bag open and disgusting quasichicken would go all over the place. If I wanted get that chicken into my meaty chex-slurry, I clearly had shake it harder, which meant removing the lid, but that in itself posed a problem: the lid's underside was coated with gross canned chicken slime. Not so gross that I wouldn't eat it, but gross enough that I didn't want to touch it with my hands. Putting down my bag of meaty buffalo oatmeal surprise, I carefully assessed the situation and came to a conclusion. Clearly, the best way to remove the semi-connected lid from this can would be to grip the lid by its sharp metal sides as tightly as I could and give it a firm yank upwards. At the time I could see absolutely nothing wrong with this plan, though shortly after executing it I discovered my critical miscalculation: the entire plan was stupid. But yeah, once I stopped the bleeding enough that I wouldn't ruin my car's upholstery, I went in and got stitches. On the way home I picked up Chik-fil-A. I guess the moral of the story was basically "don't give a handjob to a razor blade", though it's difficult for me to imagine any other context in which this moral would ever be applicable. But, just in case, I think we can all say we've learned a very valuable lesson here. The bloodstained bag of nonvegetarian cornflake sludge is still in my fridge. I apparently put it in there with the intent of finishing my project sometime. Looking back four days and most-a-course-of-Tamiflu later, I'm not sure I really want to touch it. Afraid of Audio posted:And people listen to this dudes advice. I don't think people listen to my advice because I have good ideas so much as because I have a lot of first-hand experience with bad ideas.
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Dec 17, 2014 20:07
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