My plan is to make Summer Squash and Corn Chowder, but I'm cutting out the bacon because the girl is probably Muslim (I'm okay with that). My plan for tomorrow: - Wake up. Go for a quick run to get a nice 'day glow' going. - I'm going to put on a lot of clothes and clean my apartment. Be really thorough. I want to sweat as much as possible so I don't have to sweat later on. Kinda pull it all out of my body. - Make all the necessary preparations in the kitchen for the soup I'm making. Go over each step to minimize any risk of failure. I should be safe seeing as I've made a lot of soups. - Go for another run to get out extra energy and carry on with the 'day glow'. - Read a book to calm me down. - Take a shower and prepare myself. I'm going to use a no-perfume lotion so she doesn't suspect that I use any. - Position my things around the apartment so it looks good and inviting. I might have to ask her to go to the toilet (or at least suggest it) before she comes over because my flush is kinda weak, and I don't really know about her habits in there. Note: she was the one asking if I wanted to get together for dinner. It means I have the upper hand. I'm not going to show it, but I will act in a way that makes her relaxed thinking that I don't think I know that I got the upper hand. I need help from goons with: - Conversations. What should we talk about? I'm very good at controlling a conversation as long as I know what to talk about and which subjects to avoid. - I don't want to turn on the TV. I realize this might get awkward, but I don't want to make it easy by watching a movie or tv-series. I want the night to be filled with food, conversation and silence (natural silence, not the awkward kind). How do I say that we're not going to watch anything on the TV? - How do I make the transition from eating soup to start having a conversation (I'm not big for talk while eating). - Ending the night. How do I ask her to leave without making the hinting obvious.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:02 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 00:54 |
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kill your parent kill yourself
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:03 |
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you should continuously steer the conversation towards your constantly leaking bowels girls should know what theyre in for
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:04 |
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let her do all the talking and pretend like you care
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:04 |
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Daedra posted:let her do all the talking and pretend like you care lmao this might actually be the best advice this thread will give
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:05 |
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shiksa posted:lmao this might actually be the best advice this thread will give This would be a pro tip if he just wanted to bang her but this snodig posted:- Ending the night. How do I ask her to leave without making the hinting obvious. makes me think he's just gonna kick her out at some point to j/o and play video games? OP what are your actual intentions with this mystery muslim woman
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:08 |
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If you make food for this girl you are guaranteed a good lay or (+++ good future husband points) which is great if this girl is one of 'em moose-lems. THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU DO NOT gently caress UP THE SQUASH AND CORN CHOWDER If you make a lackluster chowder do yourself a favor and suicide before she gets there. Edit: dont be too nervous but be a little nervous cuz tahts good for you!!
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:09 |
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snodig posted:I might have to ask her to go to the toilet (or at least suggest it) before she comes over because my flush is kinda weak, and I don't really know about her habits in there. Is there anything that makes you anticipate this girl will pinch a massive loaf off in your toilet so much that you're seriously considering asking this despite how weird it sounds?
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:09 |
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it actually doesn't matter how good the food is, just making it will be good, unless she's cool and you come off as some kind of homebody nerd. Anyway kill yourself
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:11 |
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ElectricSheep posted:Is there anything that makes you anticipate this girl will pinch a massive loaf off in your toilet so much that you're seriously considering asking this despite how weird it sounds? i know the first thing i do on a first date is say "hey hold up a minute im going to drop a massive turd" just to gauge reactions im a human being too, not prince charming
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:14 |
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cooking comes off as snobby. order pizza and watch Jurassic park. That's how I did most of my first dates and they went pretty well.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:16 |
killaer posted:If you make food for this girl you are guaranteed a good lay or (+++ good future husband points) which is great if this girl is one of 'em moose-lems. Well, the reason I'm going with Summer Squash and Corn Chowder and not, let's say, French Onion Soup (which is more suited for this time of year) is because I want to surprise her. If I were a guest at a dinner and saw that they went with Onion Soup (wakka wakka onion is quite good tho, I'll give the soup that) I would immediately assume that they 1) did not have access to fresh ingredients, so they have to shop whatever the local grocery store has available at that time. 2) they assume that I assume that I want them to think that I want them to follow a calendar for choosing what food to eat, but I don't. Also what about music? Should I put anything on? I've never seen a girl with headphones on.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:16 |
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girls dont actually like music, she would much rather hear your heavy raspy breathing as you stare at her eating the slop you made
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:18 |
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snodig posted:Also what about music? Should I put anything on?
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:19 |
My toilet is kind of weak so don't drop any giant turds in there, you look like the kind of chick who gets a lot of protein That will make her leave
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:21 |
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I was gonna suggest you don't overthink it but it looks like you already did that you goon.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:25 |
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This is a serious post to a fake post thread.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:25 |
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what is the young mans name?
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:26 |
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OP SMOK WEED
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:27 |
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stick it in her pooper
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:28 |
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Try not to poo poo your pants
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:28 |
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wait why the gently caress is the date at your house
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:29 |
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sexy young infidel posted:wait why the gently caress is the date at your house easier to clean up the crime scene
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:29 |
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more like 'gay' glow
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:29 |
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whats the guys name???
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:30 |
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snodig posted:Also what about music? Should I put anything on? I've never seen a girl with headphones on. i would suggest weird al and the lonely island guiys you want her to know that you have a great sense of humor
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:30 |
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Also if you invited me for dinner and then gave me soup I would think you were the worst guy gently caress soup
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:31 |
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iTrust posted:Also if you invited me for dinner and then gave me soup I would think you were the worst guy yeah at least make like a chili with lotsa beans something to fill you up
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:33 |
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forbidden lesbian posted:stick it in her pooper it being the chowder. tell her its okay cuz you work for the cia
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:33 |
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shiksa posted:yeah at least make like a chili with lotsa beans then have a farting contest
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:34 |
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lmao drat son you're going to blow it. No woman, or man hopefully, would ever go to a first date having to poop, how do you not know this? Also smoke weed edit: seriously, dont say anything about your toilet you loving goon.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:38 |
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forbidden lesbian posted:stick it in her pooper snodig posted:I might have to ask her to go to the toilet (or at least suggest it) before she comes over... I don't really know about her habits in there. Pretty sure he's already planning on it. Good luck OP
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:38 |
sexy young infidel posted:wait why the gently caress is the date at your house It's my comfort zone. I need to feel fresh, glowing, happy, neutral and ‘ready’ for social situations. I get fresh by taking a shower, the glow usually comes naturally when you feel good because you get that look in your eyes. Neutral because I don’t want to feel invested in any of the things we talk about. I want to be casual and cool. Happy or at least happy in the moment. I try to make everything bigger and better so I feel it’s worth my time (this is something I’m working on). Ready so I don’t just sit there and feel left out. When all those things come together I’m a person you want to be around, and I can't really be that person outside my apartment.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:40 |
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snodig posted:It's my comfort zone. I need to feel fresh, glowing, happy, neutral and ‘ready’ for social situations. I get fresh by taking a shower, the glow usually comes naturally when you feel good because you get that look in your eyes. Neutral because I don’t want to feel invested in any of the things we talk about. I want to be casual and cool. Happy or at least happy in the moment. I try to make everything bigger and better so I feel it’s worth my time (this is something I’m working on). Ready so I don’t just sit there and feel left out. When all those things come together I’m a person you want to be around, and I can't really be that person outside my apartment. I'm p sure no set of circumstances would ever make you a person I would want to be around Hope this helps op
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:41 |
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you sound like a serial killer/rapist
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:42 |
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snodig posted:It's my comfort zone. I need to feel fresh, glowing, happy, neutral and ‘ready’ for social situations. I get fresh by taking a shower, the glow usually comes naturally when you feel good because you get that look in your eyes. Neutral because I don’t want to feel invested in any of the things we talk about. I want to be casual and cool. Happy or at least happy in the moment. I try to make everything bigger and better so I feel it’s worth my time (this is something I’m working on). Ready so I don’t just sit there and feel left out. When all those things come together I’m a person you want to be around, and I can't really be that person outside my apartment. Ohh poo poo, you hosed man. You can't be serious,.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:43 |
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For conversation, just robotically recount your favorite episodes of Dad's Army and/or the Brothers Grunt. As for music, definitely go with grindcore. Napalm Death and Anal oval office are classics that everyone is comfortable with, but if you want more cred, I recommend Schnauzer (a cornerstone of the early 2000s Cleveland punk/metal scene). A good choice is their split EP "Love that Schnauzer 10 inch"; the other side is Sloth's "Ruining Things for Others", which is also very good. Make sure to show her the record sleeve, which contains a crude drawing of a woman having intercourse with a schnauzer.
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:48 |
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woah this guys got that shower glow in his eyes. what a turn on
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:48 |
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snodig posted:
dude
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:48 |
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# ? May 10, 2024 00:54 |
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I'm not sure you're gunna interpret any given advice properly so just wing it and report back to us
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# ? Dec 18, 2014 23:49 |