generative grammer posted:

Socialism: democratic control of the means of production, eg. state/municipal/worker ownership of large industry, mining, large-scale farming, banking etc.; the most radical idiots may include all enterprise including barbershops (communism is the classless utopia that will come after years of socialism)

Not socialism: public health care/insurance, public pensions, public schools, poverty relief / safety nets, fire and police departments, EMT units, national service, the post office, state-managed infrastructure, large-scale public transit (eg. long distance trains), co-operatives, nonprofits and credit unions, state control of markets (cf. mercantilism, protectionism) etc.

All of those have either existed before socialism became a "thing" or have been historically promoted by non-socialist governments. For example, old-timey Christian conservatives supported public health care for the well-being of the national spirit; public schools were supported by Hegelian conservatives and liberals because of the enlightenment of the masses (and to get skilled, obedient workers for the factories). In our country, the Public Health Insurance Bill was passed by a centre-right government (a coalition of agrarians, "folk liberals" and big business conservatives).

When you mix some state ownership / nationalization of industry with a market economy you get social democracy (the Nordic countries pre-90s)

When you leave out state ownership you get various kinds of decidedly non-socialist ideologies that differ in terms of market intervention, land ownership, collective bargaining / labor rights, public services, civic society, civil rights and social cohesion like Social Liberalism (where municipal services don't have to be produced by the municipality itself but can be outsourced to private companies or NGOs; also support for local co-ops, small businesses and family farms), modern American liberalism, populism, fascism/nazism, Christian democracy / One Nation Conservatism / Social marketplace (class harmony and huge boner for national institutions), Liberal conservatism/conservative liberalism (what modern conservative parties adhere to after the aristocracy was replaced by business interests) and Classical Liberalism (aka laissez-faire, even though few liberal thinkers actually promoted unfettered free markets)

The sort of "left is all public and right is all private" doesn't reflect actual ideological history and nuance and is a libertarian invention, hth. The reason why fascists and nazis are considered far-right even though they support somewhat centrist/populist economic policies is because they are more about ultranationalism, militarism, traditionalism, social cohesion and "natural hierarchies" rather than corporatist economics mixed with welfare policies (for the right kind of people only, though); just like the classical rightist monarchists in the late 18th/early 19th century were against capitalism and free trade.

So left/socialist is more like "good of the working class", centrist is "good of the small community" or "good of the individual", and rightist is "good of the nation" or "good of the 'natural born' rulers / aristocracy"

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

did u write this? did u tap ur 10 gay fingers on the keyboard until this was written and then post it in the penn jillette is fat thread, on gbs?

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

hes got his eye on the constitution

mysterious frankie posted:

FADE IN:

EXT. ARABIAN NIGHTS GENTLEMAN'S CLUB - DAY

In a seedy & seldom ventured corner of Las Vegas squats a dusty brown rectangle, known by those few who recall its existence for its end-of-life sex workers and serviceable buffet. The neon sign, now turned off, depicts a torchy pinup thrusting her pelvis against a large scimitar & smiling.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ARABIAN NIGHTS GENTLEMAN'S CLUB - DAY

The dingy, poorly lit space is empty, save for a beleaguered, middle aged strippe shuffling listlessly to Merl Haggard's "Mama Tried" & a visibly hungover Persian man who is hovering unsteadily over the buffet table. The man narrows his eyes and scratches at a patch of chest exposed by his half unbuttoned shirt. Can he really be seeing this? Is there really an oil lamp partially submerged in the chafing dish filled with taco meat?

EXTREME CLOSE UP- THE LAMP

LAMP
Hey, kid. Why don't you- and I don't know how to say this in a not gay way- give me a rub and see what happens!

CUT TO- PERSIAN MAN

The man looks around nervously. Has he gone mad? After endless seconds of consideration, he steels himself and reaches his trembling many-ringed fingers out to stroke the lamp; its patina of slime comes away at his touch and clings to him in long strands.

CUT TO- LAMP

The lamp begins to shake violently rattle the entire table, knocking plates to the ground where they shatter on impact. Multicolored fireworks begin to shoot out of the tip and raspy laughter can be heard emanating from it. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the chaos stops and the lamp begins rapidly sucking the taco meat into itself.

mysterious frankie posted:

FADE IN:

EXT. ARABIAN NIGHTS GENTLEMAN'S CLUB - DAY

In a seedy & seldom ventured corner of Las Vegas squats a dusty brown rectangle, known by those few who recall its existence for its end-of-life sex workers and serviceable buffet. The neon sign, now turned off, depicts a torchy pinup thrusting her pelvis against a large scimitar & smiling.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ARABIAN NIGHTS GENTLEMAN'S CLUB - DAY

The dingy, poorly lit space is empty, save for a beleaguered, middle aged strippe shuffling listlessly to Merl Haggard's "Mama Tried" & a visibly hungover Persian man who is hovering unsteadily over the buffet table. The man narrows his eyes and scratches at a patch of chest exposed by his half unbuttoned shirt. Can he really be seeing this? Is there really an oil lamp partially submerged in the chafing dish filled with taco meat?

EXTREME CLOSE UP- THE LAMP

LAMP
Hey, kid. Why don't you- and I don't know how to say this in a not gay way- give me a rub and see what happens!

CUT TO- PERSIAN MAN

The man looks around nervously. Has he gone mad? After endless seconds of consideration, he steels himself and reaches his trembling many-ringed fingers out to stroke the lamp; its patina of slime comes away at his touch and clings to him in long strands.

CUT TO- LAMP

The lamp begins to shake violently rattle the entire table, knocking plates to the ground where they shatter on impact. Multicolored fireworks begin to shoot out of the tip and raspy laughter can be heard emanating from it. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the chaos stops and the lamp begins rapidly sucking the taco meat into itself.

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

i hate goons theyre all mad and dumb like reddit. its a good thing i am not a goon

theflyingorc posted:

a guy i know met penn jillette after his show and told him "you were great in Hackers"

he reported that penn ignored him, seemed annoyed

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

did u write this? did u tap ur 10 gay fingers on the keyboard until this was written and then post it in the penn jillette is fat thread, on gbs?

GrrrlSweatshirt posted:

did u write this? did u tap ur 10 gay fingers on the keyboard until this was written and then post it in the penn jillette is fat thread, on gbs?

CISMALES DID 9-11 posted:

its all wrong too lmfao

Synonamess Botch posted:

lol if you read that poo poo

mysterious frankie posted:

FADE IN:

EXT. ARABIAN NIGHTS GENTLEMAN'S CLUB - DAY

In a seedy & seldom ventured corner of Las Vegas squats a dusty brown rectangle, known by those few who recall its existence for its end-of-life sex workers and serviceable buffet. The neon sign, now turned off, depicts a torchy pinup thrusting her pelvis against a large scimitar & smiling.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. ARABIAN NIGHTS GENTLEMAN'S CLUB - DAY

The dingy, poorly lit space is empty, save for a beleaguered, middle aged strippe shuffling listlessly to Merl Haggard's "Mama Tried" & a visibly hungover Persian man who is hovering unsteadily over the buffet table. The man narrows his eyes and scratches at a patch of chest exposed by his half unbuttoned shirt. Can he really be seeing this? Is there really an oil lamp partially submerged in the chafing dish filled with taco meat?

EXTREME CLOSE UP- THE LAMP

LAMP
Hey, kid. Why don't you- and I don't know how to say this in a not gay way- give me a rub and see what happens!

CUT TO- PERSIAN MAN

The man looks around nervously. Has he gone mad? After endless seconds of consideration, he steels himself and reaches his trembling many-ringed fingers out to stroke the lamp; its patina of slime comes away at his touch and clings to him in long strands.

CUT TO- LAMP

The lamp begins to shake violently rattle the entire table, knocking plates to the ground where they shatter on impact. Multicolored fireworks begin to shoot out of the tip and raspy laughter can be heard emanating from it. Then, just as suddenly as it started, the chaos stops and the lamp begins rapidly sucking the taco meat into itself.

Synonamess Botch posted:

lol if you read that poo poo

sexy young infidel posted:

sexy young infidel posted:

dads a mall cop posted:

I know he paints his nail to remember his dead mom who prob died when that fat bitch ate her

Nigmaetcetera posted:

he said he does it to draw attention to his hands iirc, which is what you're supposed to be staring at during a magic show anyway

dads a mall cop posted:

sure but also his dead mom because he ate her

paranoid randroid posted:

one eye on the constitution, the other on the fondue poFATAL ERROR: FATJOKE_RUNTIME EXCEPTION. ABORT, RETRY, FAIL?

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Oh my god, I haven't seen a DOS error in over 15 years.

What the hell was the difference between Abort and Fail?

Monkey Fracas posted:

the master concentrates for few moments, sweat beading upon his brow

an unearthly noise indicating a large amount of air filling an unfathomable vacuum is heard and the roast duck across the stage is pulled through the gravy fountain Teller is cautiously holding above his head and makes it's way towards Penn's mouth, whereupon with splintering of bone and popping of ligament it is pulled into his ponderous craw

a man of weak constitution in the crowd faints

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Oh my god, I haven't seen a DOS error in over 15 years.

What the hell was the difference between Abort and Fail?

Rupert Buttermilk posted:

Oh my god, I haven't seen a DOS error in over 15 years.

What the hell was the difference between Abort and Fail?

King Vidiot posted:

FAIL is what you've done with your life, ABORT is what your parents should've done with you.














_{No but seriously I don't really have a problem with you, I just saw a chance for a joke and I took it!}

King Vidiot posted:

FAIL is what you've done with your life, ABORT is what your parents should've done with you.














_{No but seriously I don't really have a problem with you, I just saw a chance for a joke and I took it!}

kjetting posted:

I watched the first seasons of Bullshit, but it quickly turned into libertarian rant central.

There are probably worse ones, but these are the episodes that I remember as being especially awful/preachy of the ones I saw.

Smoking: Everyone should be allowed to smoke everywhere because FREEDOM AND AMERICA. Never mind non-smokers´freedom. Also second hand smoke is not bad, quit whining.
Circumsition: Somehow they make it a point that male circumsition is as bad as female because having your clit cut off and genital lips sewn shut is comparable to having to use lotion when masturbating.
College: College is bad because it turns people into liberals, and Penn and Teller managed to do well without school because bootstraps.
Exercise: If you´re fat like Penn Jillette there´s nothing you can do about it, it´s just genetics.
Enviromentalism: If you care about the environment you´re a sheep, and you´re standing in the way of the free market that will save u all from everything.

Cockmaster posted:

Taxes: Letting the government take proper care of the less fortunate equals taking away everything you've worked for and giving it to lazy shitheads.

Ramsus posted:

Yeah man the government is real efficient lets give them more money as they already waste trillions this will assuage my white guilt