Auspol December: All I want for Christmas is a new government.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Auspol December: All I want for Christmas is a new government.

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ASIC v Danny Bro: May 1, 2012; D&D: HASBARA SQUAD
CAPTAIN KILL

Just HEAPS of dead Palestinnos for brekkie, mate!

CrazyTolradi posted:

Location: Jackpot Dining

Ahahaha this is right next door to where I work.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 07:47

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 15:45

T-1000: Mar 28, 2010

Sanguine posted:

Presumably it's dealing with the total testing population rather than extrapolating, so no need for error bars as the data is absolute. Made me shiver, though.

Also, yeah, drat dodgy ordinate scales

They could at least show the covariances. I'd be interested in seeing histograms as well. I'd assume there would a roughly Gaussian distribution but sometimes you get a bimodal shape due to a significant proportion of people having absolutely no clue.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 07:47

open24hours: Jan 7, 2001

It's still running isn't it? Surely they'll do a more thorough analysis when it's finished.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 07:49

Birb Katter: Sep 18, 2010; BOATS STOPPED
CARBON TAX AXED
TURNBULL AS PM
LIBERALS WILL BE RE-ELECTED IN A LANDSLIDE

Paul Keating posted:

I am writing on the occasion of your swearing in as a member of the New South Wales Legislative Council.

But this is not a letter of congratulations

Anidav posted:

Why do you guys want my girlfriend to come?

They mean the dog.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:06

Pred1ct: Feb 20, 2004; Burninating

IslamoNazi posted:

Read more here

So what's so great about the privatisation of the NSW power stations because on the surface it sounds like a dumb idea.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:08

bowmore: Oct 6, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Got 60.5 on that test, I'm not good at maths.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:10

T-1000: Mar 28, 2010

open24hours posted:

It's still running isn't it? Surely they'll do a more thorough analysis when it's finished.

I don't have time to wait for more thorough analysis!

The latest in NSW-Labor-suck, NSW Opposition Leader John Robertson* is rumoured to be facing a leadership bid over the Christmas break. The reason? Man Haron Monis (the Sydney siege gunman) came into Robertson's office a few years ago (Robertson is his local member) and asked him to forward a request for a supervised custody meeting with his kids on fathers' day to the Department of Family and Community Services. This was part of a custody dispute with Monis' ex-wife (who he was later accused of murdering). Robertson signed a cover letter, forwarded it, and the request was denied.

This is kind of a non-issue - forwarding requests to govt. departments is part of a local MP's job description - but any excuse to get rid of Robertson would be reasonable. He's probably not going to get rolled because it's a slow news day and not much is going to happen over Christmas, but if you did want to roll someone, now would be a great time time. To be honest, the time he was rolled wouldn't make much difference. We're three months from an election Labor is going to lose. People make fun of Shorten for having a low media profile, Robertson is totally invisible.

*aka "banshee on a rampage" aka "in hindsight I should have reported that $3 million bribe murdered businessman Michael McGurk offered me"

Pred1ct posted:

So what's so great about the privatisation of the NSW power stations because on the surface it sounds like a dumb idea.

The idea was they could pour the money into revitalising the public transport infrastructure. They eventually did privatise it, for much less than it was worth IIRC.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:11

Anidav: Feb 25, 2010; ahhh fuck its the rats again

WebDog posted:

They mean the dog.

This could be taken the wrong way.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:13

hambeet: Sep 13, 2002

CrazyTolradi posted:

It sounds like total bunk, the second they mentioned calling Interpol and getting to look at accounts I knew it was total bullshit.

Yeah I lol'd at that point

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:13

Neif: Jul 26, 2012

Jumpingmanjim posted:

Does anyone know anything about this, or has heard anything like it?

The only thing that rings a bell was this a few months ago and is not really related to the Jet Care story.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/ne...ebd4ccdade5c36c

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:22

CrazyTolradi: Oct 2, 2011; It feels so good to be so bad.....at posting.

Anidav posted:

Why do you guys want my girlfriend to come?

Because according to rumour, your girlfriend wouldn't let you go to the last Auspol meet because she wanted to go somewhere with you and did not feel she was invited to such an event. To work around this, we are specifically welcoming and inviting her to attend.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:38

Drugs: Jul 16, 2010; I don't like people who take drugs. Customs agents, for example - Albert Einstein

I did the internet quiz too and I got Twilight Sparkle

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:39

Fruity Gordo: Aug 5, 2013; Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

I did calculus and accelerated pre-honours chemistry at Sydney Uni for a couple of years, got 69. :smuggo:

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:41

Fruity Gordo: Aug 5, 2013; Neurotic, Impotent Rage!

To be fair to me, I am tipsy and haven't done maths in 7 years and written maths questions are bullshit.

Fruity Gordo fucked around with this message at 08:44 on Dec 22, 2014

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:42

Resident Idiot: May 11, 2007; Maxine13; Grimey Drawer

katlington posted:

Haha this is nuts. Race welfare fraud.

JET is a thing is about where that thing stops making sense.

There is some precedent for organised fraud by a specific ethnic group, though, which completely did not lead to harassment of people of that ethnicity:

http://www.aic.gov.au/publications/previous%20series/lcj/1-20/wayward/ch6t.html

# ? Dec 22, 2014 08:46

Anidav: Feb 25, 2010; ahhh fuck its the rats again

I am in Sunnybank there are so many Mormons here.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 09:38

NoNotTheMindProbe: Aug 9, 2010; pony porn was here

Dropped out of Uni 10 years ago and thinking of going back to do a humanities subject. Got 91 on the test, couldn't be hosed putting in effort for questions with shittily labelled tables and charts.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:03

BogDew: Jun 14, 2006; E:\FILES>quickfli clown.fli

Anidav posted:

This could be taken the wrong way.

Ok...he's her plus one.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:08

Turks: Nov 16, 2006

I've never really posted much on SA but it's always nice to come back to threads like this any time I feel too much hope accumulating.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:16

Anidav: Feb 25, 2010; ahhh fuck its the rats again

How could I bring a dog on public transport and into a indoor eatery? Sorry guys, maybe if you put it in Newmarket at some point. We have a BBQ pit restaurant. I can walk the dog over then.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:18

dr_rat: Jun 4, 2001

Anidav posted:

How could I bring a dog on public transport and into a indoor eatery? Sorry guys, maybe if you put it in Newmarket at some point. We have a BBQ pit restaurant. I can walk the dog over then.

Newmen what do you have against puppies? Is there no creature too cute that you won't make your state persecute it for your own immoral amusements.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:35

Anidav: Feb 25, 2010; ahhh fuck its the rats again

Do other states let dogs on buses?

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:39

Paracausal: Sep 5, 2011; Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem - no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.

“Equal pay was always going to be an uphill battle with the carbon tax in place”.

Olivia Dresden, Sydney

“The guys at work take me seriously now. They look me in the eye when they talk to me, not at my carbon tax”.

Wendy Whitehead, Melbourne

“Last year I lost out on a promotion to a man with less experience. But the abolition of the carbon tax has paved the way for my rise to CEO”.

Felicity Pollock, Sydney

“Yes, there were some overt carbon taxes that were hurtful. But it was actually the casual carbon taxes, the carbon taxes that popped up in every day situations, that affected me the most”.

Sam Walker, Horsham

“Childcare spots used to be so hard to find. That’s changed since Tony Abbott got rid of the carbon tax.”

Belinda Squires, Melbourne

“I’m judged on my talents now, not on what I’m wearing. That’s what scrapping the tax did for me”.

Susie Holt, Gold Coast

“I feel so much safer walking alone at night now that that scary big tax has been removed”.

Amy Tan, Newcastle

“I used to hate walking past building sites. All those guys staring at me and shouting ‘Show us your big new tax!’ That just doesn’t happen any more”.

Deb Krigos, Adelaide

“Since the carbon tax was abolished, the number of women in federal ministries in this country has increased by 100%. Fact.”

Unnamed Government spokeswoman, Canberra

Also, I take my dog on the train all the time to walk around the city.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:42

Anidav: Feb 25, 2010; ahhh fuck its the rats again

Really? Brisbane trains are full of SecureCorp. I doubt it would fly.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:51

Chicken Parmigiana: Sep 12, 2007

Anidav posted:

Really? Brisbane trains are full of SecureCorp. I doubt it would fly.

Dogs can't fly Anidav, for goodness' sake. :rolleyes:

# ? Dec 22, 2014 10:58

Chicken Parmigiana: Sep 12, 2007

TG-Chrono posted:

“Equal pay was always going to be an uphill battle with the carbon tax in place”.

Olivia Dresden, Sydney

“The guys at work take me seriously now. They look me in the eye when they talk to me, not at my carbon tax”.

Wendy Whitehead, Melbourne

“Last year I lost out on a promotion to a man with less experience. But the abolition of the carbon tax has paved the way for my rise to CEO”.

Felicity Pollock, Sydney

“Yes, there were some overt carbon taxes that were hurtful. But it was actually the casual carbon taxes, the carbon taxes that popped up in every day situations, that affected me the most”.

Sam Walker, Horsham

“Childcare spots used to be so hard to find. That’s changed since Tony Abbott got rid of the carbon tax.”

Belinda Squires, Melbourne

“I’m judged on my talents now, not on what I’m wearing. That’s what scrapping the tax did for me”.

Susie Holt, Gold Coast

“I feel so much safer walking alone at night now that that scary big tax has been removed”.

Amy Tan, Newcastle

“I used to hate walking past building sites. All those guys staring at me and shouting ‘Show us your big new tax!’ That just doesn’t happen any more”.

Deb Krigos, Adelaide

“Since the carbon tax was abolished, the number of women in federal ministries in this country has increased by 100%. Fact.”

Unnamed Government spokeswoman, Canberra

Also I want to applaud this; is it your own? (And if not can you post a link?)

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:01

Paracausal: Sep 5, 2011; Oh yeah, baby. Frame your suffering as a masterpiece. Only one problem - no one's watching. It's boring, buddy, boring as death.

Chicken Parmigiana posted:

Also I want to applaud this; is it your own? (And if not can you post a link?)

It's from The Shovel
http://www.theshovel.com.au/2014/12/22/how-the-abolition-of-the-carbon-tax-changed-my-life-australian-women/

Paracausal fucked around with this message at 11:08 on Dec 22, 2014

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:06

Birb Katter: Sep 18, 2010; BOATS STOPPED
CARBON TAX AXED
TURNBULL AS PM
LIBERALS WILL BE RE-ELECTED IN A LANDSLIDE

Anidav posted:

Do other states let dogs on buses?

Call it a service dog and you're gold. If he's wearing that collar and tie getup you probably don't even need to go that far.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:14

bowmore: Oct 6, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Does anyone knows what calling someone a pot plant means as an insult?

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:15

Anidav: Feb 25, 2010; ahhh fuck its the rats again

loving hilarious. If Australian comedy were alive a whole industry would be made insulting Abbott like the Americans mock Reagan and Dubya. Its not the same since the era of Howard's eyebrows in the early 2000s.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:17

open24hours: Jan 7, 2001

bowmore posted:

Does anyone knows what calling someone a pot plant means as an insult?

It means you're useless. It's typically applied to people who hold office for long periods of time and do very little.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:21

hambeet: Sep 13, 2002

bowmore posted:

Does anyone knows what calling someone a pot plant means as an insult?

quote:

An individual(usually in a position of power)who is unable or unwilling to move forward with new ideas, methods to improve their business or get key decision makers involved because they are stuck in their old ways of thinking; becoming as worthless as a potted plant that just takes up desk space.

open24hours indeed :argh:

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:21

Anidav: Feb 25, 2010; ahhh fuck its the rats again

If the Alp is a party of pot plants does that make them more green than the greens?

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:26

open24hours: Jan 7, 2001

Anidav posted:

If the Alp is a party of pot plants does that make them more green than the greens?

They're all plastic.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 11:32

hambeet: Sep 13, 2002

gently caress da poors

"SMH posted:

Social Services scraps funding for homeless and housing groups
The Abbott government has quietly signalled a retreat from the homelessness and low-income housing sector.

As Scott Morrison prepared to step in as Social Services Minister, his new department was contacting housing advocacy groups and other community services providers on Monday to inform them their funding had been cut and contracts with the Commonwealth would be discontinued.

Social Services posted letters responding to requests for grants from the community sector for ongoing and new funding streams after a process first announced in March.

The government has previously warned it could satisfy just $800 million of the $3.9 billion in grants requested by the sector.

Fairfax Media has learned that all funding to Financial Counselling Australia has been cut, while a number of other community services groups providing emergency accommodation relief lose their funding.

Highlands Community Centres in the NSW southern highlands, which has 450 families on its books and has been serving people in distress for 20 years will no longer receive any federal funding and does not know how it can continue to provide the same service.

National Shelter, a peak advocacy group whose mission is to create a "more just housing system, particularly for low-income Australian households" was informed by the Department of Social Services on Monday that it would lose its funding and its three-year contract torn up a year early.

The Commonwealth will only continue to fund agreements that it has a legislated duty to fund, such as the National Affordable Housing Agreement with the states under the Council of Australian Governments process.

National Shelter executive officer Adrian Pisarski said it was a cruel blow coming three days before Christmas.

Previously the sector had received about $5 million a year to advocate for low-income households, social housing tenants and the homeless in the notoriously constrained and expensive Australian market.

"We have to consider this a Kevin Andrews decision," he said.

"The big shame about this is that our organisation and some of our fellow organisations are genuinely trying to make things better for people at the bottom end. They [the government] don't appear to want to hear from people at the bottom end of Australia."

When the Howard government came to office in 1996 it stopped funding some housing advocacy services but retained commitments in relation to homelessness and community housing, Ms Pisarski said.

The department did not answer calls on Monday evening.

Fiona Guthrie chief executive of Financial Counselling Australia said her organisation had lost its entire $260,000 a year federal funding and had missed out on a request for $920,000 in new grants.

Total budget cuts to service funding are forecast at $240 million over 4 years.

Already in 2013 and 2014 a number of national sector peak bodies have been defunded. They include the Alcohol and Drug Council, the Refugee Council of Australia, the Australian Youth Affairs Coalition and the National Congress of Australia's First Peoples.

Prime Minister Tony Abbott has tasked Mr Morrison with getting more people off welfare and into jobs in an expanded portfolio that includes family support, seniors, aged care, the National Disability Insurance Scheme and Mr Abbott's signature paid parental leave scheme.

The Australian Council of Social Service said Mr Abbott's reshuffle was a chance for the government to make good on its promise upon election to "not leave anyone behind"

Word via work channels says that homelessness peak bodies have all had their funding cut (Homelessness Australia, National Shelter, Community Housing Federation Australia, and Financial Counselling Australia.) in addition to some direct service providers such as Highlands and National Shelter.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 12:08

ewe2: Jul 1, 2009

Keith Windschuttle, terrorist expert and police negotiator:

quote:

Man Haron Monis wasn't your usual domestic hothead keeping police at bay until calm and a measure of sanity can be restored by reason and negotiation. He was a calculating, publicity driven terrorist who deserved the swift and immediate justice of Rule .303

On Wednesday afternoon, I went to Martin Place to pay my respects to the dead hostages and join the thousands of other Australians doing the same. The queue was so long it was at first hard to find where it ended. It took forty minutes to get to the place where I could lay flowers.

I arrived at the Macquarie Street end of Martin Place and walked down between the heavily screened-off Lindt caf� and the Channel Seven studios across the square. Like Ryan Heffernan, I had been puzzled why the terrorist chose such an inoffensive location as that caf� for his murderous siege. But walking past the site on Wednesday, it was immediately clear. The huge, two-storey window of the television studio looks directly across and down on the caf�, giving a direct line of sight into its interior. Had the NSW Police not commandeered it as soon as the siege began, the studio would have been the perfect position to record everything that happened.

In other words, media coverage of the siege was central to the terrorist�s plans. In the last week of September, Australian Federal Police raided houses across the western suburbs of Sydney and arrested a man communicating with a former Sydney Muslim street preacher who had joined the Islamic State in Iraq and Syria. The preacher instructed his man to go to Martin Place, seize a random member of the public, kill him or her, and then drape the body in the black Islamic State flag. The killer should take an accomplice to video the whole incident and then post the footage on an international jihadi website.

That same month and for several prededing it, however, the would-be killer had been under surveillance by Australian intelligence forces and, before he could act on his instructions, the police swooped.

Man Haron Monis, who was not a target of those raids, must have decided then to take the place of the arrested jihadist. He converted from Shia to Sunni Islam and declared himself an adherent of the Islamic State. The major variation he made to the preacher�s September instructions was that, instead of taking an accomplice to video his killing and post it on the internet, Monis had the foresight to see that the Channel Seven studio could record his deeds on live, free-to-air television that would go around the world.

These were not the plans of a �madman� or a �nut job�, as a long line of legal aid lawyers (who have made a lot of money out of Monis) have pleaded. He was an extremist ideologue, but no more insane than any other Australian jihadist who has cast his fate this year with Islamic State. His actions were rationally planned well in advance. He chose his site after careful reconnaissance and he followed the IS preacher�s instructions dutifully, even down to demanding during the siege to be supplied with an authentic IS flag to replace the similar shahada flag he possessed himself.

Monis had also imbibed deeply the contemporary West�s ideology of victimhood. He is reported to have screamed after killing hostage Tori Johnson and just before police shot him dead: �Look what you have made me do!� In absolving himself of all personal responsibility, he was taking the same line as all those other aggrieved adherents of Western identity politics who think the real blame for their unhappiness lies with the purported phobias of imaginary oppressors.

If anything positive was demonstrated during these terrible events, it was the behavior of the NSW Police and the Sydney news media. Rather than use the occasion to respond with cowboy interventions, as a current-affairs TV program once did during a siege prompted by a domestic-violence issue, the Sydney media acted very responsibly. Instead of broadcasting messages they received from inside the caf�, they passed them to police headquarters, thereby denying the terrorist much of the drama he tried so hard to engineer. His inability to generate pro-Islamic publicity must have diluted to some extent the excitement Monis enjoyed during his siege. As Prime Minister Tony Abbott rightly said, the speed, discipline and professionalism displayed by the NSW police could not be faulted.

However, there was one serious blemish in the police operation that needs to be corrected the next time something like this occurs. NSW Police Commissioner Andrew Scipione made it clear that he was following a tried and tested operations protocol that, in the past, has quickly shut down siege situations and saved the lives of hostages. This is the tactic of engaging in protracted negotiations with the hostage-taker, especially using relatives or religious advisers as negotiators, in the hope of calming him down and changing his mind. In domestic-violence situations, where the siege is largely the result of a surge in high emotions, this tactic remains the right way to go. But in dealing with Monis, who police presumed was a similarly emotionally-driven person, it turned out to be a fatal tactical flaw.

Instead, Monis should have been treated as a dedicated political and religious ideologue seeking martyrdom � no different to Mohammad Atta and the other terrorists of New York and Washington on 9/11. He should have been shot dead by a police marksman as soon as he was identified, and in the very early stages of the siege.

It is easy to be wise in hindsight about the problems caused by Scipione�s stated policy of being prepared to negotiate for as long as it might take, but in dealing with Islamic militants that old tactic is well and truly out of date. The technology of modern armaments is surely good enough for a marksman to shoot a terrorist in the head, even while he is using a hostage as a human shield. Photographs published in the press show there were several opportunities early in the siege when Monis� head and shoulders were sufficiently exposed for that to be done successfully, without injury to the hostage concerned. I hope the inquiry commissioned by the Prime Minister considers this tactic seriously.

And I especially hope the inquiry recognizes how deceitful have been pleas of those money-grubbing lawyers acting for terrorists that their clients are not evil, just sick in the head, and thus deserving the sympathy and leniency of our judicial system.

The inquiry should recognise that we now have an enemy within that wants to cow us into submission and destroy our way of life � a way of life that was on display so movingly this week when Australians of all races and ethnicities came together to lay flowers in Martin Place.

Still rewriting history to suit your argument, still deeply deserving of a .303 yourself. Note the 20/20 hindsight and the care with which he exculpates his media pals. Note the disdain for the rule of law when it runs head on into his ideology. Note the demands to rewrite procedure for police and demonising of defence lawyers. Man's a maggot.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 12:21

ShoeFly: Dec 28, 2006; Waiter, there's a fly in my shoe!

Matthew Beet posted:

gently caress da poors

Word via work channels says that homelessness peak bodies have all had their funding cut (Homelessness Australia, National Shelter, Community Housing Federation Australia, and Financial Counselling Australia.) in addition to some direct service providers such as Highlands and National Shelter.

Merry Christmas!

# ? Dec 22, 2014 12:23

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# ? Jun 7, 2024 15:45

Anidav: Feb 25, 2010; ahhh fuck its the rats again

Scott Morrison confirms I will be drinking at this goonmeet.

# ? Dec 22, 2014 12:25

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Auspol December: All I want for Christmas is a new government.

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