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Detroit_Dogg posted:Alright alright alright, I'm booting her up thanks to the fight pass. I'm pretty drunk but still really coherent. DC drink prices make it hard to be blackout drunk before like 3 or a house party. Anyway this takes place in Detroit's convention center but they didn't know how the gently caress to sanction it so it's got hilarious rules like "OH NO CLOSED FISTS" or some poo poo, idk it might have just been to the face. I'm drinking and the announcers aren't helping. Also if anyone wants to know what I've been drinking it's been a lot of Stone and Flying Dog Are you sure you aren't watching Pancrase?
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Dec 21, 2014 07:05
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Fozzy The Bear posted:Are you sure you aren't watching Pancrase? 
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Dec 21, 2014 07:06
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Detroit_Dogg posted:Alright alright alright, I'm booting her up thanks to the fight pass. I'm pretty drunk but still really coherent. DC drink prices make it hard to be blackout drunk before like 3 or a house party. Anyway this takes place in Detroit's convention center but they didn't know how the gently caress to sanction it so it's got hilarious rules like "OH NO CLOSED FISTS" or some poo poo, idk it might have just been to the face. I'm drinking and the announcers aren't helping. Also if anyone wants to know what I've been drinking it's been a lot of Stone and Flying Dog Enjoy your journey to the throne as the American Duzzy Funlop. Please have your sharpie ready.
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Dec 21, 2014 07:13
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I may be the hero this thread wants, but you are the hero it deserves
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Dec 21, 2014 07:31
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Yuriy posted:just die 
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Dec 21, 2014 07:46
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The loving crowd goes wild for Dan Severn despite nobody knowing where the gently caress Coldwater, Michigan is. Ken Shamrock looks like a GI Joe doll. One of the Octagon girls has a sign that reads SHOOTFIGHTING. I decide this is a good time for a gin and tonic. The weights for the fight are 215-246. Welp. MINUTE ONE: Big John is the ref. he yells LETS GET IT ON, they circle, they circle some more. Dan is still circling, he throws a light no wait, yeah he's circling. And Ken is standing there. Dan is roaming. Dan is roaming. Dan is roaming. Dan is circling, he almost looks to throw a punch but decides against it and instead circles. The announcer goes "I don't know what Dan is doing". At this point I realize they don't have a readily available clock so I can't tell how far along it is. Big John is yelling at them to GET IT ON, they refuse. Occasionally one of them tries to land a strike, it doesn't work. 3 minutes in now, Big John yells LET'S GET IT ON COME ON, they continue to circle. And circle. The crowd begins to boo. A man wearing American flag pants is posted up against the outside of the cage. "I think the audience wants them to get it on" "Still nothing happening" the announcers say. The crowd starts chanting BULLSHIT. I decide I need another drink and start deciding if I want a gin and tonic or a beer.  (PICTURED: Captain America at the top left The announcers say that neither fighter wants to come out of their game plan, I look for a pint of turpentine instead of watching the rest of this fight.Ken is standing in the middle of the octagon which is probably getting him many points for octagon control while Dan circles around him. The crowd boos some more, Dan actually hits Shamrock in the face and somehow draws some blood, the announcers immediately assume it was a finger nail because honestly that makes the most sense after watching this fight. I think they just have one long round , actually I know they are do, or had, or whatever the gently caress but I can't take a break now because I poured myself a tall one and don't want to check it up right now. Big John calls a timeout to assuredly tell both fighters to grow a pair of loving testicles, I'm pretty sure they end up ignoring his call.  (PICTURED: the fight, all of it) That old UFC logo was dope as poo poo, the announcers just told me they are 12 MINUTES IN. Someone throws something into the octagon. The commentators are very excited. Shamrock throws like 2 combos and the announcers have a full 3/4 chub for him because it's like the only action anyone has seen all fight. Dan is still circling Shamrock, he's probably circled him like 60 times throughout the night. I just drank the rest of my drink and our neighbors are wondering what the gently caress I'm watching. Like they literally knocked and were like ARE YOU WATCHING FIGHTS, now the crowd is cheering BORING. HOLY poo poo DAN SEVERN JUST WENT IN ON A LEG, THEY SCRAMBLE, and nothing loving happens. The crowd just started cheering for the Red Wings and Dan shoots the world's worst single after Ken threw the worlds worst punch. Ken scrambles to the top and ends up in mount but Ken has no idea what to do, he throws some God awful punches while Dan tries to shrug him off. Shamrock's corner yells at him to use his elbow so Ken tries to grind his elbow into Dan's eye. UNDER SIX MINUTES IN REGULATION Ken is on top. He's not doing a god drat thing, my brother just walked in here and asked what I was watching. I told him and he threw me a beer. It's a summer beer which I kinda question because it's almost Christmas. He asks if I want to put it on the big screen, I shake my head. Ken gets some relatively good body shots in from on top but then decides instead he'd love to rub his chest into Dan's head some more.  (PICTURED: Ken Shamrock gets on top and does literally nothing) I just now realized that Ken isn't wearing gloves. Which is something I probably already knew but I guess not. Ken is really trying to rub his elbow and wrist into Dan's head in hopes of opening something up. Dan scrambles out, reverses and ends up on top. I just dro[[ed a beer on the ground but luckily it was empty. He's head butting shamrock from the mount and starts landing some really lovely shots with ONE MINUTE THIRTY LEFT but actually oh man those punches and shots are starting to do damage which is kinda impresssive and oh gently caress that was acutally a niceshot. uh, the fight is over? No wait it's in overtime. I don't remember this fight at all. YES OVERTIME THREE MINUTE PERIOD OKAY SURE WHY NOT They circle. Dan is circling. Yes, shocking. The announcers say that heart will be the determining factor. Apparently heart leads to being the guy that tells you where to get in line for 50 cents autograpgh. I'm now drinking straight shots of gin because I don't want to go get tonic from the store. The announcer says there is one minute left in the overtime and the crowd kinda boos and then is very confused. I don't think Dan has thrown a single strike all overtime. THE FIRST OVERTIME IS OVER, Ken looks like somebody threw him in a microwave for 2 mintues.  (PICTURED: all of the fight) A second overtime is going on, oh my god why is there a second overtime they say this is the last round but I don't even believe them jesus christ this us loving awful and I love Dan Severn Now they're slap fighting because apparently they just remembered the rules where they aren't supposed to have clsosed fists to the face. This fight has almost gone 30 minutes and I am not happy.Ken tries to shoot in but theres like no time left, dan throws some ugly knees, the fight ends and the commentators say it was a close one, the crowd boos. The dragon jus mentioned he got hit by a cigar butt, more histi is getting thrown into the octagon, that owns, good job detroit. OF NOTE: They made the judges stand up and hoist a card in the air for whoever they thought won the fight which is pretty funny but also really bad but also awesome.  DAN SEVERN WINS BY SPLIT DECISION, gently caress this poo poo im going to bed
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Dec 21, 2014 08:10
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Detroit_Dogg posted:The loving crowd goes wild for Dan Severn despite nobody knowing where the gently caress Coldwater, Michigan is. Ken Shamrock looks like a GI Joe doll. One of the Octagon girls has a sign that reads SHOOTFIGHTING. I decide this is a good time for a gin and tonic. The weights for the fight are 215-246. Welp. lol
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Dec 21, 2014 08:25
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Please ban the bad man now thanks
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Dec 21, 2014 08:27
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i was watching 11 the other day and lol'd when the ring girl was walking around with ARAXES or something on a card and then tank abbot pushed a guys face against the cage until he tapped out good posting drunk goon
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Dec 21, 2014 08:44
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Good poo poo. Now lets get another ban in the pagoda this weekend.
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Dec 21, 2014 09:08
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Detroit_Dogg posted:OF NOTE: They made the judges stand up and hoist a card in the air for whoever they thought won the fight which is pretty funny but also really bad but also awesome. I wish they still did this and also had to write their answer like Jeopardy because I want to see how Sal D'Amato spells "Jedrzejczyk" Detroit_Dogg posted:Please ban the bad man now thanks You're doing god's work, Detroit Dogg
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Dec 21, 2014 09:25
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That was amazing Detroit Dogg. How much alcohol did you need to get through that?
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Dec 21, 2014 10:01
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Skip My Posts posted:Do any mma fighters have enough willpower to transition into a wwf career? it's like you forgot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LB-Ao3JAl3I
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Dec 21, 2014 10:31
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The best thing about Tank Abbot is that his fondest memories of WCW involve his angle with 3 Count.
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Dec 21, 2014 10:53
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According to The Death of WCW, WCW offered to pay for Tank Abbott to take singing lessons. He refused, claiming his voice would still suck even with training.
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Dec 21, 2014 11:00
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Maybe that is true. But that's probably not why he refused the lessons. According to Jeff Sherwood (Sherdog's fat owner and Tank superfriend), Tank loves doing karaoke at lovely dive bars.
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Dec 21, 2014 11:05
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Detroit_Dogg posted:saturday night's other destroyed liver Now watch Dan Severn / Kimo Leopoldo from Pride 1
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Dec 21, 2014 11:07
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That was one of the best posts of the 2014.
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Dec 21, 2014 14:17
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christmas truly came early to the pagoda god bless us, every one
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Dec 21, 2014 14:28
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Big Coffin Hunter posted:christmas truly came early to the pagoda god bless us, every one Thank you cm punk
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Dec 21, 2014 14:55
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TV Zombie posted:That was amazing Detroit Dogg. How much alcohol did you need to get through that? idk because yesterday was kinda one long bender that started with brunch mimosas. Probably like 2 and a half tall gin and tonics, 3 Flying Dog beers, a whisky, and then there might have been a random cider throwin in there. Also I'm glad yall enjoyed it.
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Dec 21, 2014 16:13
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next do the same fight high and one on alpha brain http://www.mmamania.com/2013/5/8/4312642/team-alpha-male-coach-duane-ludwig-uses-thc-to-get-different-look
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Dec 21, 2014 16:32
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Detroit_Dogg posted:idk because yesterday was kinda one long bender that started with brunch mimosas. Probably like 2 and a half tall gin and tonics, 3 Flying Dog beers, a whisky, and then there might have been a random cider throwin in there. It was good
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Dec 21, 2014 19:17
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What's the biggest combo ever pulled off in the MMA world, I'm going to link it to CM Punk
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Dec 21, 2014 19:43
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probably the ones marquardt did to finish wilson gouveia or tyron woodley
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Dec 21, 2014 19:46
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Dexters Secret posted:What's the biggest combo ever pulled off in the MMA world, I'm going to link it to CM Punk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjAGtQosof0
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Dec 21, 2014 19:51
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Maybe not the biggest combo, but the the barrage of vertical elbows to the body that finished him off still make me wince.
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Dec 21, 2014 20:11
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lmao @ that ref "should i stop it... eh... i'll let him build meter'
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Dec 21, 2014 21:23
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lmbo does that ref still have a job?
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Dec 21, 2014 21:46
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rrrrrrrrrrrt posted:lmbo does that ref still have a job? I know. Sometimes you gotta let the guys fight a little before you step in like that.
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Dec 22, 2014 17:36
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Ty1990 posted:I know. Sometimes you gotta let the guys fight a little before you step in like that. Joe Warren was still standing for Christ's sake!
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Dec 22, 2014 17:37
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Charles Gnarwin posted:Joe Warren was still standing for Christ's sake! does it really count when you're leaned back against the cage
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Dec 22, 2014 19:43
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Dexters Secret posted:does it really count when you're leaned back against the cage 
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Dec 22, 2014 19:49
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They count me as standing when I have to lean on the bar
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Dec 22, 2014 19:59
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no i understand that was 'thejoke', i was more referring to what policies the refs are supposed to follow for fight stoppage. does leaning back against the cage count for anything? i assume it must because for some reason the ref had his thumb in his rear end
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Dec 22, 2014 20:42
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Dexters Secret posted:no i understand that was 'thejoke', i was more referring to what policies the refs are supposed to follow for fight stoppage. does leaning back against the cage count for anything? i assume it must because for some reason the ref had his thumb in his rear end the fight is supposed to be stopped by a referee when a fighter is no longer intelligently defending himself. if a fighter is still "intelligently" defending themselves but is still taking an enormous amount of damage then it falls on the corner to throw in the towel.
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Dec 22, 2014 20:57
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Dexters Secret posted:no i understand that was 'thejoke', i was more referring to what policies the refs are supposed to follow for fight stoppage. does leaning back against the cage count for anything? i assume it must because for some reason the ref had his thumb in his rear end The colloquial term is 'no longer defending himself intelligently.' This can mean (and has meant) anything from Jonny Hendricks landing a few glancing shots on a prone but fully conscious Amir Sadollah or Jones vibrating his elbow near Matyushenko's forehead in a crucifix on the ground, to the Curran/Warren massacre above or Cyborg hammering Carano's head into the mat for ten seconds straight. Early stoppages were way more common Back In the Day though. e: Martin Kampmann took a blasting not half as bad against Paul Daley against the cage, and got stopped. I'm sure there's loads of other examples. There's a lot of granularity depending on the referee. John McCarthy gives fighters every chance to recover (to the degree that Overeem got like five punches in on an unconscious Stefan Struve, very uncomfortable stuff) while Yves Lavinge has (had?) a reputation for calling fights at the first sign of trouble. Foul Fowl fucked around with this message at 21:00 on Dec 22, 2014 |
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Dec 22, 2014 20:57
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Dexters Secret posted:no i understand that was 'thejoke', i was more referring to what policies the refs are supposed to follow for fight stoppage. does leaning back against the cage count for anything? i assume it must because for some reason the ref had his thumb in his rear end Well, you don't see a ton of standing TKOs (last one I remember was Bethe Correia over Shayna Baszler) but the referee is not prohibited from stopping the fight if the person getting beat up is technically still on their feet. I think most refs would have jumped in when Warren fell to one knee the first time.
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Dec 22, 2014 20:57
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Dr. Abysmal posted:Well, you don't see a ton of standing TKOs (last one I remember was Bethe Correia over Shayna Baszler) but the referee is not prohibited from stopping the fight if the person getting beat up is technically still on their feet. I think most refs would have jumped in when Warren fell to one knee the first time. Diaz Maynard was a standing KO that was real ugly because the ref didn't do his job and help Maynard when he was out on his feet, instead Maynard stumbled down like a pisshead.
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Dec 23, 2014 02:41
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Dr. Abysmal posted:Well, you don't see a ton of standing TKOs (last one I remember was Bethe Correia over Shayna Baszler) but the referee is not prohibited from stopping the fight if the person getting beat up is technically still on their feet. I think most refs would have jumped in when Warren fell to one knee the first time. counterpoint- it's fun to watch joe warren get battered and the ref was probably just enjoying the moment
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Dec 23, 2014 02:50
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