Accretionist posted:

Breetai posted:

You haven't lived until you've seen a random updraft of wind pick one of these up, carry it through the air for about 50 meters, and then when against all odds it lands right-side up the rider shrugs and keeps loving pedaling.

Blistex posted:

They have a special stencil for tires and they just use a rattle can the day before the parade.

Also, I almost forgot the best part of my wife's cousin's army days.

He was a a CS nerd and a gun nut before he joined up and he and his friends would go play airsoft or paintball a lot. They all wanted to join up together, but he was the only one who could convince his parents that the PLA wasn't a horrible idea (his parents did a big, "told you so" after he retired at the end of his term. Anyway he's been in the PLA for going on 4 months before they tell him that he and the rest of the soldiers are going to get some Range Time. They were all overjoyed, and assumed that they would spend the whole day at the range going through boxes and boxes of ammo, going there every day from then on until they were all shooting 100% bullseyes. None of them can sleep the day before.

The day of they all get dressed, have chow (pun) and line up to get their rifles and ammo. They are each given a Type-97 assault rifle with the auto option locked out with some sort of pin through the sheet metal. He just assumes, "we're training, got to crawl before we can run". They are marched to the range and it looks like a typical one you'd see in a movie. Big grass field, earth berms at the end with a white square target in the middle of each, and about 50 lanes to fire from with benches, tables, and mats flat on the ground (learn to shoot from each position). At this point everyone is just about vibrating with excitement, and can't wait to go to town on the targets. The night before everyone was making boasts about who would be the best shot of the group, and bets were made.

The instructors read them the riot act, go over different safety principals they had learned in the class, and then had everyone file into 5 lines to collect their ammo. Everyone goes into the lines and the first 5 people take a magazine out of the large boxes and move to the firing line. Everyone else has to wait until they are done before they are allowed to grab a magazine. At this point people waiting in line are reassuring each other than this is just the first day, and they are being treated like babies to keep everyone safe until they get some practice.

The first 5 shooters start firing and in less than 10 seconds they have expended the three rounds that were in their magazines. There are 4 instructors hovering over each shooter, and they visually inspect the rifle, make sure it is empty, remove the magazine, and send the recruit to the back of the line. The next soldier in each of the 5 lines grabs a magazine, and the process repeats itself until everyone has fired twice (6 rounds for the day). Best part is that everyone was using the same 5 targets for the whole day and nobody could tell who was actually hitting it, doing well, or missing completely. That night they console themselves by saying, "we're just learning, tomorrow will be different".

<6 Months Later>

They go to the range for the second time in their military career and the process is exactly the same. That was pretty much the point where he lost all faith in the PLA and decided to get out as soon as his initial term was up.

Davfff posted:

nothing says civilised like rolls of toilet paper on your dining table

everyone snapping pics of their toilet paper spread

Fojar38 posted:

people are actually worried about china

waitwhatno posted:

chinese people are compulsive street shitters and their university graduates can't read or write, yet they still made 99% of the stuff in your room

just image what these people can do once they have better control of their butt muscles

Fonzarelli posted:

when i was on bar street in china i saw a huge drug bust where tons of crazy rear end cops in full riot gear were just beating the poo poo out of african guys that were usually drug dealers. i saw a chinese riot cop beat this african guy's head with a the butt of a shotgun while he was handcuffs, all of my white high school friends and I got automatic weapons and shotguns pointed at our face, it was a total shitshow

Bloodnose posted:

This can't happen under current circumstances because Chinese cities actually have green belts, much like the UK. If you take the train from Hong Kong to Guangzhou, you'll pass a shitload of farms that are still there because the paranoid government insists on cities providing for their own food security to a certain degree. Even in this infographic, you can see that the dense parts are separated by agricultural regions. The government would have to remove that policy to make a PRD supercity.

Accretionist posted:

Haha, that sounds absolutely amazing

Kulkasha posted:

The cool thing about China is that there aren't roving rape mobs of angry young men every five feet
At least I really hope not

Breetai posted:

You haven't lived until you've seen a random updraft of wind pick one of these up, carry it through the air for about 50 meters, and then when against all odds it lands right-side up the rider shrugs and keeps loving pedaling.

I lived in China from 1998-1999 and returned there 3* a year for the next four years, and not once did the place fail to surprise me.

waitwhatno posted:

chinese people are compulsive street shitters and their university graduates can't read or write, yet they still made 99% of the stuff in your room

just image what these people can do once they have better control of their butt muscles

Breetai posted:

• Pants for toddlers on sale that had a slit running up the back: when the kid needed to take a poo poo they'd squat down and the slit would open to allow no-pants-down pooping.
  

coloncalamity posted:

This is a pretty ubiquitous aspect of Chinese culture and doesn't really belong in your list imo

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Open-crotch_pants

hakimashou posted:

That was the cool thing, every day was some kind of adventure.

ETA:

Hey, do they still have like the shotgun commando squads do the armor car money things?

AdorableStar posted:

Maybe China is the real normal country and we're actually the bunch of freaks.

Makes you think.

Blistex posted:

Yes! I nearly shat my pants when a fat armoured car security guard muzzle swept my face from a foot away (I was using a Communications Bank ATM and turned around to the crew waiting patiently behind me). The Shotguns were in slings, so they only had one hand on the pistol butt (naturally he had his finger on the trigger), but I then calmed down by telling myself that they most certainly were not loaded. Funny thing I noticed in Korea, was that every armed security guard in the different branches of Hana bank that I frequented were women.

Prince Reggie K posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7iwyTJuDGiA

Chinese cops might not be nicer or more competent than american cops, but these guys look tough at least.

kittycopter posted:

http://stupidcelebrities.net/2013/05/chinese-newborn-boy-rescued-from-sewage-pipe-graphic-photosvideo/

quote:

Chinese police are treating the case as an attempted homicide and are investigating the horrific incident.

doctorfrog posted:

Are there any crime novels with tired, worn, Chinese police detectives?

Good Citizen posted:

Probably the most common one involves leading you to a bar and having you buy drinks for yourself and some women and then the tab comes in and everything is marked up like 10x.

hakimashou posted:

That was the cool thing, every day was some kind of adventure.

ETA:

Hey, do they still have like the shotgun commando squads do the armor car money things?

NESguerilla posted:

Same happened to a friend of mine in London as well. Same amount of money too. Is there any reason you couldn't just call the cops once you get to safety seeing as how it's less of a scam and more robbery and probably a handful of other crimes?

Phlegmish posted:

that still doesn't explain why you wouldn't call the police afterwards

univbee posted:

The police are often in on it too and are paid to turn a blind eye to it.

Phlegmish posted:

england is more hosed up than i thought

opus111 posted:

how hot were these women?