Fintilgin posted:

Q: Hey guys, I'm playing Cold War as the USSR, how can I beat America to the moon?

A: Open up the economic management tab and convert to a free market economy. My USSR was extremely successful with this strategy.

Q: I just started a new game of Cold War as Israel. How do I survive the early wars with my neighbors?

A: As soon as you start the game, before unpausing, open the religion tab and convert to Islam. This should prevent your neighbors from attacking.

Ancient Aroma posted:

Don't be sad OP. I'm in the same boat, except I've been playing Injustice for PS3 online erry night for the last 18 months. I sit and wait for children to battle me and then when I find a taker, I obliterate them.

This is how I'm paying back the Mortal Kombat 9 community for always beating me

It's a pretty sad thing to do erry night

Also consuming 10 beers each night while beating up children drives home the sadness

Just letting you know it can get worse

Acne Rain posted:

my predictions for 2015:

Ragequit posted:

Best of luck in your new year's resolution of being buried under cocks.

Modern Day Hercules posted:

those are hens you dumb poo poo

ubachung posted:

One of them is definitely a cock. Trust me, I've seen a lot of cocks.

Turtlicious posted:

Hey keep with the diet, and someday you'll see your own

Screaming Idiot posted:

Look man, is it so wrong to want to see a crazed, blood-soaked President Obama screaming at a news camera with a knife in his hand yelling, "THIS LIFE TAKEN IS BUT THE FIRST OF MANY, AND WITH THIS MAN'S BLOOD I SHALL SUMMON PURE OBLITERATION!"

I mean, hey, I don't want to see anyone get hurt, but if we're going to initiate a nuclear apocalypse let's at least get some badass Youtube clips out of it first.

Othin posted:

For two brief moments in time, Japan was the mushroom kingdom.

Toadvine posted:

sometimes posts make me laugh, sometimes posts make me cringe

Red_October_7000 posted:

Partly because there is a fundamental problem with chest tattoos on women -women's clothing has a huge variety of necklines, so a tattoo that is a complete image in one top is cropped awkwardly by another. This isn't exclusive to big breastbone pieces like the one in the picture, basically anything in any place that is routinely covered in part is troublesome, but it stands out especially with breastbone tattooing on women. This chick in particular has a friggin' ring through her nose like a bull and is wearing birth control glasses; her sense of style is, perhaps, a little confused. All that aside, I can't recall ever seeing a tattoo in that location that looked good on a woman. I'm not against tattooing in general at all; my Ex had something like seven and I've seen girls with full "sleeve" tattoos or pieces that go from ankle to hip which are quite pleasing to look upon indeed, it's just that particular location that is troublesome in my eye.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

If you read this post out loud, you instantaneously get your virginity back.

Pyroxene Stigma posted:

Some of us are ignorant when it comes to automobiles. I didn't get that joke at first either.

Volume posted:

Jace Madan posted:

My Krokodil Trip report:

Ok, so I bought a 7-11 Slurpee cup full of Krokodil from this one guy. As soon as I got home i got the biggest and rustiest and most hepatitisy syringe I could find and injected some directly into my good arm. (Not sure how much, all of the syringe dosage markers had since rubbed off)

After about 2 seconds I didn't feel any different, so I injected some more. I missed the vein this time, so I repeatedly stabbed my arm with the syringe until i started bleeding really bad. I figured I hit the vein, so I pumped that poo poo in. I spent the next 12 hours in a drooling state while I watched an entire episode of classic Battlestar Galactica on a loop. Then I fell asleep. When I woke up the injection holes were all scaly and green. I figured I was finally turning into a crocodile, so I was really excited. I filled up my little sister's kiddie pool with water, stripped naked and did some death rolls with a garden gnome.

A few days later I noticed I could totally see the bones in my arm, as my skin had turned gray and was rotting away. I was going to go to the doctor, but there was a Resident Evil movie marathon on sy-fy, so I stayed home instead. The next day my leg fell off. I dunno what's up with that.

All in all, an enjoyable experience, would do again.

Improbable Lobster posted:

Subjunctive posted:

Fish in a barrel.

Agag posted:

5 y.o. girl, crying: "Is mommy in heaven now?"

Cool atheist: "No, failtard, she will rot in the ground. She no longer exists, except in your memory, which will also someday cease to exist as you die and rot in the ground."

5 y.o. girl, stoically: "My eyes have been opened this day. I will no longer seek solace in the opiates of the weak. Thank you."

Cool atheist:: "Don't thank me... [turns to camera, puts in shades] Thank logic."

DoctorWhat posted:

Yeah, that's where we get the expression "Milk and potatoes".

PCOS Bill posted:

That isn't an expression anywhere

IslamoNazi posted:

It's what we call your mum all the time.

Halloween Jack posted:

I agree that there's a lot wrong with Achilles, but I think I see a peculiarly modern aspect to your perspective--I've never read ancient literature where an unassuming commoner wins out through hard work and dedication instead talent and privilege. Beowulf, Cu Chulainn, and I think most of the ancient heroes are pretty much "Welp, I'm the handsomest jockest bro and my Dad owns a dealership kingdom, so I'm going to kill this monster and win everything forever, just watch." Ancient Greeks wouldn't have understood Rudy.

zoux posted:

It's called narrative tension bro, it's the same reason Goku is out of commission for 90% of all DBZ fights. If Achilles was out there he'd wipe the floor with all the Troys so you have to have him off to the side so the other characters have poo poo to do.

Mans posted:

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Achilles wasn't the only whine-rear end--Telemachus ran and tattled to daddy Odysseus that a bunch of skeezeballs were in his house drinking all his wine and trying to gently caress his wife.

"Dad I can't get them to leave! Will you PLEASE take a day off running the dealership and come deal with this"

JebanyPedal posted:

I want a porn where a woman is using a Bop-It as a sex toy but still skilfully playing the game.

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Achilles wasn't the only whine-rear end--Telemachus ran and tattled to daddy Odysseus that a bunch of skeezeballs were in his house drinking all his wine and trying to gently caress his wife.

"Dad I can't get them to leave! Will you PLEASE take a day off running the dealership and come deal with this"

Mans posted:

Reminder that Achilles was a whiny bitch who abandoned his comrades in a fit, literally crying his eyes out, to call his mother so she could listen to how totally unfair Agamemnon is. He then spends 70% of the book pouting inside a boat.

That's Greece's biggest hero.

Zzulu posted:

Bobby Digital posted:

The 2015 solution is more disruptive. All bathrooms will be equipped with Bluetooth, so you can use an app to check occupancy and reserve a stall or urinal. No waiting in line!

I call it Pissr.

Freudian posted:

Bluepooth

sweeperbravo posted:

gently caress I read this while i was taking a drink

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Is your keyboard okay?