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Knyteguy posted:I feel like you guys are now telling me to be unrealistic with the allocations, when we've had many months where you told me to be realistic since I was underestimating discretionary costs. Pretty sure this was when you didn't have a baby due in 5 weeks to get you used to the idea of estimating/budgeting/saving correctly and reasonably dude. Iron Lung fucked around with this message at 22:46 on Jan 9, 2015 |
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Jan 9, 2015 22:35
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Knyte cleaning supplies are a necessity my god. Discretionary spending is everything that is discretionary IE NOT grooming supplies such as razors, haircuts (I need one this month actually), household goods ranging from cooking utensils, shower rods and curtains, etc. Also: Deodorant, body wash, laundry soap, shampoo, conditioner? Discretionary. *
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Jan 9, 2015 22:42
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Nobody ever needs a new baseball cap.
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Jan 9, 2015 22:47
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Priorities are needed, otherwise you flounder all over and make no headway. April posted:If you already have other line items for gas, groceries, clothes, and eating out (he does) then $50 each is probably fair. What do they need to blow money on that costs $175/month each? Veskit posted:200 a month until your "unforeseeable" debt is paid off. Restaurants included. That's not asking for much. You don't reward yourself with a 400 dollar have fun budget when you loving LOST AN EXTRA 500 DOLLARS. Veskit posted:Knyte cleaning supplies are a necessity my god. Discretionary spending is everything that is discretionary IE SiGmA_X fucked around with this message at 23:05 on Jan 9, 2015 |
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Jan 9, 2015 23:01
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Veskit posted:
Those are only discretionary because he's somehow already blown through the grocery budget this month. I honesty think he's still not clear on what a budget is supposed to be. If you exhaust your grocery/personal care category 9 days into the month, either the budget is off or your spending is off. Changing the categorization just masks the problem.
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Jan 9, 2015 23:04
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~12/1/13 Debt: $31,822 Checking: $1,486 Net: ($30,336) 1/7/15 Debt: $37,445 Checking: $6,180 Net: ($31,265) Total Change: ($929)
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Jan 9, 2015 23:19
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Bugamol posted:~12/1/13 Holy poo poo that's depressing if it's true.
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Jan 9, 2015 23:22
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Can you get a number for mid-2014 too, please? I really do think he backslid early 2014 and has been improving decently after coming back to the thread. (June is page 9 but I'm on a phone.) Colin Mockery fucked around with this message at 23:27 on Jan 9, 2015 |
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Jan 9, 2015 23:24
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Knyteguy posted:Also: It's January 9th its like you're just asking for it.
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Jan 9, 2015 23:28
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A bunch of that stuff is absolutely not a necessity. This is just once again proof that KG is simply unwilling to actually sacrifice to improve his financial situation. I frankly think that Slomo is at least more honest about his desire to not cut back on his lifestyle. Work Clothes - you really don't have anything appropriate now? Really? Kid Birthday - really? Either don't go or just go to the salvation army and get him/her something for $5. Sister's Shower - OK I get this, still you could be quite frugal on this - $50 max. You cannot afford $25 baseball caps. Looking at your budget - you've got a bunch of stuff in the 'fixed' category that flat out is not a fixed cost. Anything that can vary month to month - aside from probably utilities is not a fixed cost. You can choose to spend less. Groceries - you choose how much to spend here - start shopping at Walmart / Grocery Outlet Fuel - Think before you drive - take the bus - walk - don't go. Pets - Give up the cadillac food - the dogs get Costco dog food, the cats get costco cat foods - or equivalent. Clothes - Goodwill / clean / dryclean what you already have / yardsales. Buffer - WTF? Discretionary - double WTF? Rainy Day funds - I don't get what you're doing here at all. Why so many lines? Why not just decide we're going to save $2k or whatever it is per month, and save it. When unplanned expenses come up, you pay for that poo poo out of savings. Instead of making this complicated as poo poo why not just make this simple. You're hiding all sorts of money to 'blow' throughout your budget. You've got a 'buffer' line item, you've got 'discretionary'. You've got 'giving' at $25 in february? Why? You're obfuscating your poor spending habits via that stupid YNAB program and it's not working for you. It's letting you far overestimate / and proceed to overspend your monthly requirements to live. How about you do this. Every month put $700 in an envelope. You have to live on that $700. The bills / insurance / rent / debt payments aren't part of it. All of the stuff that you can choose to buy or not buy comes out of the $700. It'll take some sacrifice, you might not get to buy all the poo poo you want all the time, that's what sacrifice is. This would actually force you to think before buying, because if you've spent your $700 at week three, you might be doing a lot of walking and eating canned poo poo outta the cupboards.
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Jan 9, 2015 23:31
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Veskit posted:Holy poo poo that's depressing if it's true. It's not. Neither number is accurate. My first debt didn't include a $700 speeding ticket (no paid off), the second debt doesn't include the car (totally worthless). I also had about $4,000 in collections drop off since the start of the thread, so that reduced liabilities quite a bit. It also doesn't include the fact that even not counting the car, the new net worth is $29,578. Knyteguy's Ambiguous Financial Thread - I feel like a lot of details are missing Horking you're totally right. We had a monstrous back to $0 in checking backslide after we all but abandoned any premise of the thread, and good finances. It also doesn't matter. We've been making progress since July/August despite set backs, and that's why we're going to succeed. There have certainly been speed bumps along the way, with more to come. You can bet that after the baby is born that red line won't fall again, unless it's paying off some huge debt that will immediately put is in a better place (the car).
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Jan 9, 2015 23:31
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Ghost of Mussolini posted:It's January 9th its like you're just asking for it. DUDE we bought a whole month's worth of groceries including lots of stuff for February. I'm fairly certain I've already said that. We just went extremely low budget like rice and eggs.
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Jan 9, 2015 23:32
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~12/1/13 Debt: $31,822 Checking: $1,486 Net: ($30,336) 08/11/14 Debt: $36,205 Checking: $2,075 Net: ($34,130) 1/7/15 Debt: $37,445 ($4,468 + $3,504 + $25,272 + $1500 + $2700) Checking: $6,180 Net: ($31,265) I don't include your HSA or baby fund because those are offset by the future liability of having your baby.
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Jan 9, 2015 23:53
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Not including his HSA as an asset is disingenuous Either way those numbers are terrifying. Especially since he has the 20,000 dollar appendicitis bill that he's sweeping under the rug. God drat Knyte you're like hosed.
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Jan 9, 2015 23:55
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Veskit posted:Not including his HSA as an asset is disingenuous But isn't it about to get spent?
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Jan 9, 2015 23:55
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Veskit posted:Not including his HSA as an asset is disingenuous How? I don't remember specficially, but I believe his out of pocket maximum for next year is $12,000. https://cache.hacontent.com/ybr/R515/02524_ybr_ybrfndt/downloads/131972.pdf I don't consider his HSA and baby fund a savings but more a prepaid expense. If he wasn't having a baby he would be much better off compared to a year ago, but he is having a baby. It's not like that fact can be overlooked?
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Jan 10, 2015 00:01
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I think it shows initiative and change on his part to actually pre save for an expense coming up than to be blind sided by a bill and make payment installations, but there should be a fair way to have a progress metric associated with that. I say meet me half way and give him half of that.Bugamol posted:~12/1/13 STILL, loving, TERRIFYING.
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Jan 10, 2015 00:05
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April posted:But isn't it about to get spent?
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Jan 10, 2015 00:12
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HSA is $5000 $400 in Paypal $100 in (previously) home downpayment savings account E: Oh I see what you did, I thought Bugamol posted that and you quoted. That's fine. As long as we keep doing what we've been doing MINUS the big budget gently caress off mistakes, then 2015 will show much, much better results. And I'm sticking with the thread this time, so those mistakes will be far fewer. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 00:23 on Jan 10, 2015 |
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Jan 10, 2015 00:15
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My Rhythmic Crotch posted:You'd count the debt that would arise had they not saved it though, right? Yes, but I don't consider "targeted" savings as an asset. For example, I put a little aside every month for Christmas, vacations, clothing, doctor bills, etc. I don't count those when looking at our net worht, because I know they are just going to be spent. It doesn't really matter though, because the numbers aren't the problem (and I don't want to go into a derail of "what is considered an asset"). The problem is that Knyte doesn't think there's a problem, and he's going to be somebody's parent in just a few weeks. So Knyte if everyone is being unfair in thinking that you've managed to raise your net worth by roughly $1600 in 13 months, what do you consider the real numbers? FYI, "improving my attitude", etc. doesn't count.
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Jan 10, 2015 00:18
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Did your sister already get your wife a shower gift? If not, perhaps you can agree not to get gifts for each other, keep it to a really low limit, and/or get each other something practical that you would have to buy for the baby anyway (like diapers or onesies). I thought about whether it would be possible to record all the expenses for our upcoming baby; even though I've been monitoring our monthly spending for several years, I doubt it's going to work. With your first kid there are so many gifts and people who want to give away perfectly good baby stuff to you for free (at least that's been our experience). I'm not complaining at all, just saying that it would be difficult to estimate what we would have purchased. The categories I'll have data for will end up being stuff like laundry and food, not the big ticket items. The numbers you posted from Babycenter seem a little high for us in SoCal, but mostly because we already live in a 2-bedroom and aren't moving. Ugh, those numbers. This thread is getting scary. 
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Jan 10, 2015 00:31
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Knyteguy posted:HSA is $5000 The "checking" number I posted actually includes your paypal and house savings. It just ignores the HSA and delivery fee. Since you'll be spending that in 5 weeks time.
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Jan 10, 2015 00:32
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Bugamol posted:The "checking" number I posted actually includes your paypal and house savings. It just ignores the HSA and delivery fee. Since you'll be spending that in 5 weeks time. But you see, I, Meh gently caress it no excuses. Like I said after the baby comes that red line won't drop anymore unless it's for our financial health or we're actually in a position where that's OK because we're positive net worth or something. Your numbers also don't include that Grandma S debt that is a leftover from my wife's trip to Japan. It's not much (I don't have a figure any longer), but it definitely needs to be included. We'll reassess our budget in February, but for January we can just eat everything from out of our discretionary budget as planned. I needed to change the budget to add in the increased cost of insurance from adding our son anyway for Feb. E: and yes my sister bought my wife something for her baby shower (nice baby bag). We will return the favor, as even if the sky is falling on us right now, my sister is in a far worse position than we are. Knyteguy fucked around with this message at 00:50 on Jan 10, 2015 |
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Jan 10, 2015 00:47
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We can go back and forth on what the true dollar amount of your starting debt versus your debt today, but I think that proves the thread title more than anything. You're going to have a tough year. I hope it works out. Talk is cheap. Results are priceless. EDIT: I feel like I'm coming across as an rear end in a top hat, but I want you to be successful. We've literally gone through 14 months of this. You've had some highs and you've had some lows. You can't change the past but you can control your future. Nothing would make me happier than for you to come back in 6 months time having been successful and only posting your current standings and the quote "gently caress the naysayers" Bugamol fucked around with this message at 01:15 on Jan 10, 2015 |
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Jan 10, 2015 01:11
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Bugamol posted:Talk is cheap. Results are priceless. Agreed. You're not coming off as an rear end in a top hat. Like others have said none of you would bother right now if you didn't give a gently caress, so I appreciate that. I don't even think there's too many naysayers really.
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Jan 10, 2015 01:16
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I think the "buffer" category is so he can get to "Step 4" of YNAB, which is to live on last month's income. I think KG would benefit quite a bit from achieving this goal, as it makes budgeting a lot easier and also builds in a mild safety net.Knyteguy posted:yes my sister bought my wife something for her baby shower (nice baby bag). We will return the favor, as even if the sky is falling on us right now, my sister is in a far worse position than we are. I also don't understand how you say you have a $29k net worth. Is that a typo? Why is it every time I read this thread I feel like some new "oh, forgot to mention" debt pops up. What's the $4000 thing that you ignored until it went away? And how the hell are you buying groceries NOW for February? Are these just frozen pizzas or something? Wouldn't you say that's a bit of an impulsive rationalization for over-spending? Isn't that the exact trait that has you in this mess in the first place? Look, man, I'm not perfect. I've been guilty of over-spending and waiting until the last minute to budget for something, then piling it all in on the current month and sometimes even borrowing from my future months. But goddamn dude, it's fit or fold time for you.
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Jan 10, 2015 01:20
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Knyteguy posted:That's fine. As long as we keep doing what we've been doing MINUS the big budget gently caress off mistakes, then 2015 will show much, much better results. I swear you'll not realise the gravity of your situation until, like a drug addict, you hit rock bottom. 6 weeks from now.
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Jan 10, 2015 01:36
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Old Fart posted:And how the hell are you buying groceries NOW for February? Are these just frozen pizzas or something? Wouldn't you say that's a bit of an impulsive rationalization for over-spending? Isn't that the exact trait that has you in this mess in the first place? I think someone in the thread did tell him to stock up on frozen food for February so that they wouldn't be tempted to get a lot of take-out...? But they probably didn't mean a month early. Knyte, it may be too late for you to change this round of gifts, but the way you talk about gift-giving is reminding me of zwife. It may be time to tell your family that in the next few years you don't expect any gifts and won't be giving any until you're in a better financial situation. If that's too harsh you can excuse kids from that rule with a low price limit. I think most people would be understanding that you're a parent now and have to put your family's welfare first.
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Jan 10, 2015 02:12
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It is going to be a reaaaly tough 6-12 months+ for you. May the baby gods bestow a very happy magic sleeping baby on you. Even if you win the easy baby lottery, it will still be hard. (And I really hope you realize a lot of whether or not your baby is easy or sleeps well is entirely out of your control once the baby was conceived. If your baby is fussy or a terrible sleeper, it isn't because you are doing something wrong, it is the personality of the tiny human you made. If KWife needs any advice on breastfeeding and what is normal or not, feel free to pm me. The first few weeks are going to be tough until both mom and baby figure out what they are doing; after that it gets considerably easier).
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Jan 10, 2015 03:07
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Yeah, it's going to be a really tough year for you no matter what, just by having a baby and missing out on sleep (most new parents go through this). We just want you to be emotionally prepared for it, and we all really do hope things work out for you.
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Jan 10, 2015 03:38
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The year gets easier if Kynteguy starts living like the broke guy he actually is instead of the middle class guy his income may make it look like he is.
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Jan 10, 2015 05:07
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n8r posted:The year gets easier if Kynteguy starts living like the broke guy he actually is instead of the middle class guy his income may make it look like he is. I think this one applies to most of the BFC threads. Living up to expectations beyond what you can afford always ends up as a financial disaster.
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Jan 12, 2015 03:02
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Thanks sheri. My wife is behind on the thread at the moment, but I'll let her know to contact you if she has any questions. Some food for thought: The new car increased our debt by $5000, the taxes increased our debt by ~$3,000, that huge regression where the thread stopped being active from ~February to May decreased our assets by ~$4,000, and the two moves probably cost us ~$5,000. $2200 of that $5000 is a deposit, but still. That's ~$20,000 (holy poo poo) in net worth. If we had all of that money still we'd be looking at an entirely different scenario, and the thread would be much different. I don't think it's us necessarily living a middle class lifestyle, nor a lack of sacrifice (it makes me mad to read that when we're basically on rice and eggs half the time right now), but (again) these very expensive decisions. It comes down to this I think: for 2015, beyond the baby, we need to ensure we don't take on any more debt. Not to "save ourselves money", not to "lower our interest rate", not to get a second car, nothing. If we can do that then we should have a good year. We're not going to be debt free, but our conversation this time next year should be much more positive. What do you guys think?
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Jan 12, 2015 18:32
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It seems like for 6 months people have been yelling at you because whenever you get stressed you make terrible financial decisions and you don't appreciate the consequences. Now you have taken a look back at the past year and highlighted all of the things people have been yelling about, and you are saying wow I really need to not do that this year. I guess it's good that you see it, but I don't really understand why you seem to have just seen it for the first time.
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Jan 12, 2015 18:41
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2015 should be the year of acceptance. You did not accept a lot of what the thread told you in 2014, and I'll even say very little. I hope you learn and come to terms with these things: 1) You're poor. Genuinely poor and should be living a high lower class/low middle class lifestyle 2) Babies are expensive 3) You have to be a two income household until you're not poor anymore 4) The thread is right about numbers and what you should be going toward. You resist it so much. You should say things like I'm having problems accomplishing this, or I really want this thing but I know better, but instead it's how do I fit these things into my budget. 5) Being bad with money is a symptom of something greater. Please learn what it is. I don't think there will be any significant change until late 2015.
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Jan 12, 2015 18:57
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The tax obligation was always there, so learning about it didn't increase your debt. The deposit doesn't count because it's still your money. That leaves $8000 of new debt that was a direct result of your spending behavior, plus a $4000 reduction in assets that was also a direct result of your spending behavior. Put another way, you spent 120% of your income last year (rough numbers). Point being, spending behavior is an inextricable part of the picture, so don't start talking to yourself as though it isn't. Frankly "don't take on new debt" is setting a pretty low bar, especially after you (rightfully) exempt certain critical things from the rule like baby medical expenses. I'm a little worried you're reframing the conversation for yourself so you don't have to face your spending behavior.
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Jan 12, 2015 18:59
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Win the lottery or do something about that car payment it is going to kill you for a loooooooong time
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Jan 12, 2015 19:01
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slap me silly posted:The tax obligation was always there, so learning about it didn't increase your debt. The deposit doesn't count because it's still your money. That leaves $8000 of new debt that was a direct result of your spending behavior, plus a $4000 reduction in assets that was also a direct result of your spending behavior. Put another way, you spent 120% of your income last year (rough numbers). Point being, spending behavior is an inextricable part of the picture, so don't start talking to yourself as though it isn't. I'm just trying to say that I think we need to continue to focus on what we've been focusing on, and ensuring we don't have more of these big expensive choices. If we do that then we should make good progress in 2015.
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Jan 12, 2015 19:45
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Knyteguy posted:I'm just trying to say that I think we need to continue to focus on what we've been focusing on, and ensuring we don't have more of these big expensive choices. If we do that then we should make good progress in 2015. You really, really don't get it. You are always going to have big expensive choices. It's called life. The problem is that when faced with a choice, you always choose to gently caress up your budget then complain that it couldn't have been avoided. Unless you change your attitude, your problems are NEVER going to go away.
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Jan 12, 2015 19:50
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Knyteguy posted:I'm just trying to say that I think we need to continue to focus on what we've been focusing on, and ensuring we don't have more of these big expensive choices. If we do that then we should make good progress in 2015. You need to make sure that WHEN you have big expensive choices in life that you choose the option that makes the most financial sense for you in the long term. If you get through 2015 without one single expensive surprise (with a baby on the way) it will be an absolute miracle. That's why people have emergency funds. However what you tend to do when these choices come up is; shutdown, ignore financial repercussions of your actions, and then go "oops at least we learned a lesson". At which point you stumble into the next one. EDIT: Alongside, ensuring you don't make any huge financial mistakes. Like refinancing your car into a new car, moving twice in 6 months, and ignoring the fact that you know your income taxes are messed up. Bugamol fucked around with this message at 20:25 on Jan 12, 2015 |
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Jan 12, 2015 20:22
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