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Thanks for the input, seems like it is worth a shot.
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Jan 6, 2015 00:03
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Well, just bought my first toy: a vibrating butt plug. I take it the usual advice about prepping for anal applies. I hated the first time I tried anal with a partner,, so I'm hoping this will help me get used to it in a way. At the very least it sounds like fun! For reference, it's a Tantus. I don't know if anyone has had experience with their products (hopefully good)?
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Jan 10, 2015 05:22
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Octy posted:Well, just bought my first toy: a vibrating butt plug. I take it the usual advice about prepping for anal applies. I hated the first time I tried anal with a partner,, so I'm hoping this will help me get used to it in a way. At the very least it sounds like fun! Should have gotten a Njoy pure plug but(t) Tantus toys are generally considered to be pretty good. Assuming you got a medium (most smalls are too small to bother with) start with a finger and some lube and work up to the plug for your first couple times.
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Jan 10, 2015 05:32
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Xeras posted:Should have gotten a Njoy pure plug but(t) Tantus toys are generally considered to be pretty good. Assuming you got a medium (most smalls are too small to bother with) start with a finger and some lube and work up to the plug for your first couple times. Oh, that looks nice. I just took the advice of the shop assistant and I felt awkward and in a rush to get out of there. I think it's a medium. It was substantially larger than some of the plugs she showed me that looked to be as small and thin as pens.
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Jan 10, 2015 08:14
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Well. A girl who I started dating recently and am really into dropped the H bomb on me. She was super upfront about everything and made sure to tell me before anything happened, so I trust her when she tells me that she's on medication for it, etc. Still...I read the link about it in the OP, and consulted some other resources such as planned parenthood, and I'm still not sure what to think. Apparently, even if she takes her meds regularly, and isn't having outbreaks, and we use a condom 100% of the time, I'm still at pretty significant risk of catching it from her. It almost sounds like if we were in a long term sexual relationship, it'd be more "probable" than "possible" that I'd eventually become infected, too. This sucks...I've never faced the prospect of a partner with an STD before. I'm super into her, but the more I think about it, the more it seems like this should be a deal breaker for my own safety. Anyone have any thoughts? I don't want to talk to any RL friends about this because I don't think it'd be right to tell them something so personal about this girl.
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Jan 10, 2015 21:30
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There was recently a thread about this in the Goon Doctor, though I don't know how helpful it will be.
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Jan 10, 2015 21:45
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The Born Approx. posted:Well. A girl who I started dating recently and am really into dropped the H bomb on me. She was super upfront about everything and made sure to tell me before anything happened, so I trust her when she tells me that she's on medication for it, etc. not worth it, dude. plenty of fish in the sea, many without std's.
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Jan 10, 2015 22:04
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Yeah, that thread seems to say what I've read elsewhere. 
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Jan 10, 2015 22:18
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The Born Approx. posted:Well. A girl who I started dating recently and am really into dropped the H bomb on me. She was super upfront about everything and made sure to tell me before anything happened, so I trust her when she tells me that she's on medication for it, etc. The H bomb being "herpes" or "HIV"? I'm guessing HIV?
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Jan 10, 2015 23:43
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Hydrolith posted:The H bomb being "herpes" or "HIV"? I'm guessing HIV? Based on what he's saying about probably getting it despite barriers and medication, and also talk about "outbreaks" it's probably herpes. Herpes seems way scarier than it actually is. According to wikipedia (and well sourced elsewhere) as many as 90% of people have the virus in their systems. For the vast majority of people, this means having 0 or 1 outbreaks in their entire lives, then nothing else changes. If you're super in to this woman, go for it. You may get HSV from her, but if you've been sexually active in the past (and even maybe if you haven't), you likely already have the virus. EDIT: Might not be a bad idea to get the HPV vaccine if you haven't. Grumpwagon fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Jan 10, 2015 |
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Jan 10, 2015 23:55
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I think I'm too old for the vaccine, from what I remember from looking into it when the male version came out a few years ago.
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Jan 11, 2015 00:15
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Yeah, ~60% of the US population has Herpes Simplex I, which generally manifests as oral herpes aka cold sores.
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Jan 11, 2015 00:18
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Liquid Communism posted:Yeah, ~60% of the US population has Herpes Simplex I, which generally manifests as oral herpes aka cold sores. I was gonna say herpes used to be really common but apparently it still is. The thing that sucks about it other than the gross blemishes on your mouth is that they keep finding more and more links between viruses and cancer. Also, if you really cared about her you'd take the plunge face first and get on those antivirals. Raw dog it up and when you break up hit up the H+ dating apps.
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Jan 11, 2015 00:25
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Gross blemishes on your mouth are totally fine I just don't want them on my dick
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Jan 11, 2015 00:33
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Grumpwagon posted:Based on what he's saying about probably getting it despite barriers and medication, and also talk about "outbreaks" it's probably herpes. The vaccine is good to have in general, but it isn't really going to do anything for this situation since HPV and herpes are completely different things. Which you seem to know going from your post, but I just see this confusion come up a lot.
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Jan 11, 2015 01:36
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The Born Approx. posted:Well. A girl who I started dating recently and am really into dropped the H bomb on me. She was super upfront about everything and made sure to tell me before anything happened, so I trust her when she tells me that she's on medication for it, etc. Herpes isn't THAT bad, at worst it's twice a year you're putting a cream on your dick for a week or two. It's not curable, but it's not dangerous, just periodically irritating. It's up to you what is a deal breaker for your relationships, but I would value a good relationship over what is ultimately a potential nuisance, and condoms and meds still do help significantly. If it helps, it's probably very unlikely you'd get herpes in the first year or two if you take precautions, so you can get to know her more. The Born Approx. posted:Gross blemishes on your mouth are totally fine I just don't want them on my dick Really? I'd want any sores to be where other people can't see them, dick or otherwise.
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Jan 11, 2015 03:12
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If it's herpes, I really wouldn't be that worried. There was a great documentary on herpes on a few months ago that goes into living with herpes. Apparently the worst part about it is the stigma. The actual disease itself is really not much of a big deal. Worth watching. http://www.abc.net.au/tv/openingshot/episode/1/ e: crap, that's the behind the scenes vids. I can't find the actual thing. It's called "Dating the H-Bomb". Was quite lighthearted. Hydrolith fucked around with this message at 05:09 on Jan 11, 2015 |
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Jan 11, 2015 05:04
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hoobajoo posted:Really? I'd want any sores to be where other people can't see them, dick or otherwise. On the other hand, cold sores are so common that people don't usually make a big thing out of it when you have one like they do if they find out you have genital herpes.
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Jan 11, 2015 16:35
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Yeah, the idea of herpes and the stigma associated with having it are significantly worse than the disease itself, but it is still an unpleasant condition. I don't know how I would react to a partner telling me they were positive. Can you get both Simplex 1 and 2?
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Jan 11, 2015 18:37
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Yeah I get that the disease itself isn't that big of a deal, but I don't want to have to deal with it coming up for any future partners I have if I end up getting it 
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Jan 11, 2015 19:21
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Kimmalah posted:On the other hand, cold sores are so common that people don't usually make a big thing out of it when you have one like they do if they find out you have genital herpes. This. My brother had a chin piercing and when he went to the dentist they all were so fascinated they stuck their fingers inside his lip. He ended up getting a strain of herpes from it. When it breaks out, it just looks like cold sores. It obviously ended up getting passed to his wife through kissing, but they manage it with creams and what not.
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Jan 11, 2015 20:13
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anaaki posted:This. My brother had a chin piercing and when he went to the dentist they all were so fascinated they stuck their fingers inside his lip. He ended up getting a strain of herpes from it. When it breaks out, it just looks like cold sores. It obviously ended up getting passed to his wife through kissing, but they manage it with creams and what not. This sounds like an elaborate story your brother made up to explain away his herpes.
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Jan 16, 2015 02:02
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That story sounds really fake.
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Jan 16, 2015 02:41
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anaaki posted:This. My brother had a chin piercing and when he went to the dentist they all were so fascinated they stuck their fingers inside his lip. He ended up getting a strain of herpes from it. When it breaks out, it just looks like cold sores. It obviously ended up getting passed to his wife through kissing, but they manage it with creams and what not. Cold sores are always herpes -- saying a herpes breakout "looks like cold sores" doesn't make much sense. In any case, the vast majority of people have HSV1 even if they don't show symptoms. So yeah, congratulations to almost everyone in the thread on your herpes.
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Jan 16, 2015 16:31
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Not true
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Jan 16, 2015 16:57
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i like nice words
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Those figures are for HSV2. HSV1 is much more prevalent, about 70% in the US according to that same study, and higher in a lot of other countries. 
Mechafunkzilla fucked around with this message at 17:07 on Jan 16, 2015 |
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Jan 16, 2015 17:03
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Sorry, you're right that was for HSV-2, I hit the wrong thing on my phone. But those super high numbers you're talking about are for lifetime prevalence. Goons aren't 80 and hopefully aren't having sex with 80-year-olds. In your 20s-30s, the prevalence is much lower. If we're aware/careful about HSV-1/2, hopefully we can keep the rate low as we age, as opposed to just going "lol whatever we all have it already" and then catching it.
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Jan 16, 2015 17:20
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133% of people in Netherlands have herps?  
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Jan 16, 2015 17:22
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Please correct me if I'm wrong. I got my information from earlier in this thread mostly. HSV-1&2 aren't considered STDs because they don't have any effects to the reproductive system. They're considered a skin disease. They typically are not tested for on regular STD screenings. They are usually only tested for if you have a sore. You and/or your partner could have the virus and be asymptomatic. If you're asymptomatic, you are unlikely to transmit it. The biggest risk is the sores may make it more likely for HIV to be transmitted. Aside from that, they are just uncomfortable and unattractive. If that's correct, then it's not really a scary thing. I still don't want it but it doesn't sound horrifying or anything.
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Jan 16, 2015 17:42
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Anne Whateley posted:Sorry, you're right that was for HSV-2, I hit the wrong thing on my phone. It's almost 70% for people age 35; lifetime prevalence is drat near 90%. In any case, the effects of the disease are generally so minor, and the ways to catch it so widespread, that talking about "awareness" and protection is kind of laughable. In any case, sex has very little to do with it -- are you going to stop your 80-year-old grandmother, who statistically is almost assured to have HSV1, from kissing you on the cheek? Most people just don't show symptoms, or don't realize what the symptoms are because they're so minor and infrequent. Mechafunkzilla fucked around with this message at 18:02 on Jan 16, 2015 |
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Jan 16, 2015 17:51
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GoodBee posted:If that's correct, then it's not really a scary thing. I still don't want it but it doesn't sound horrifying or anything. Exactly right. You'd never want to have it, but it's a nuisance, rather than sex leprosy.
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Jan 16, 2015 18:01
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No because you don't get cheek herpes  GoodBee posted:Please correct me if I'm wrong. I got my information from earlier in this thread mostly. quote:They typically are not tested for on regular STD screenings. They are usually only tested for if you have a sore. You and/or your partner could have the virus and be asymptomatic. If you're asymptomatic, you are unlikely to transmit it. quote:The biggest risk is the sores may make it more likely for HIV to be transmitted. Aside from that, they are just uncomfortable and unattractive. A lot of people have it, it doesn't make them dirty or bad or whatever, but there are plenty of good reasons not to want it. You might be a lucky carrier who doesn't have symptoms (but does infect others), or it could really screw up your life.
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Jan 16, 2015 18:08
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Anne Whateley posted:No because you don't get cheek herpes In the case of pregnancy, the major risk factor is when you acquire herpes for the first time while pregnant. So if you want to be really safe, make sure you have it ahead of time 
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Jan 16, 2015 18:23
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hoobajoo posted:Exactly right. You'd never want to have it, but it's a nuisance, rather than sex leprosy. Like every single other human on Earth I vastly prefer not using a condom when I'm in a relationship, and having genital herpes kinda seems like a headshot to that plan.
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Jan 17, 2015 01:56
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The Born Approx. posted:Like every single other human on Earth I vastly prefer not using a condom when I'm in a relationship, and having genital herpes kinda seems like a headshot to that plan. Some people can't even tell the difference between a condom being on their penis or not! These people are mad, granted, but still.
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Jan 17, 2015 02:40
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The Born Approx. posted:Like every single other human on Earth I vastly prefer not using a condom when I'm in a relationship, and having genital herpes kinda seems like a headshot to that plan. Don't worry about it, HSV 2 sheds through skin cells, not body fluids. That means, just like with syphilis, you're basically flipping a coin every time you have sex, condom or not. Statistically speaking, anyways. And the same goes for HPV. Passing on a skin shedding viral STI is a numbers game that will severely limit your dating pool, but condoms are a bit of an after thought at that stage of the relationship because they suck as contraceptives. Good at preventing fluid based diseases though
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Jan 17, 2015 03:15
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Great if you're too lazy to put down a towel or clean up. Just squirt the baby batter and flush it down the toilet.
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Jan 17, 2015 03:29
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The Born Approx. posted:Like every single other human on Earth I vastly prefer not using a condom when I'm in a relationship, and having genital herpes kinda seems like a headshot to that plan. Condoms don't protect against herpes, so raw dog away
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Jan 17, 2015 03:31
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Turtlicious posted:Great if you're too lazy to put down a towel or clean up. Just squirt the baby batter and flush it down the toilet. Towel? Don't you have a shirt that you literally just took off?
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Jan 17, 2015 03:53
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The Born Approx. posted:Like every single other human on Earth I vastly prefer not using a condom when I'm in a relationship, and having genital herpes kinda seems like a headshot to that plan. Even if condoms did prevent all herpes as well as other STDs, and discounting that if you had herpes you could just date someone else that has it, I'd still call that a nuisance-level inconvenience.
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Jan 17, 2015 08:18
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