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  • Locked thread
Kevlar v2.0
Dec 25, 2003

=^•⩊•^=

gingerberger posted:

This is the 2nd gayest GDT today.

Never fear, I am here

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wheez the roux
Aug 2, 2004
THEY SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO LYNCH

Death to the Seahawks. Death to Seahawks posters.

gingerberger posted:

This is the 2nd gayest GDT today.

in the spirit of neutrality, here is some genderless porn





and the cake im making tomorrow

Eltoasto
Aug 26, 2002

We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.



Yeah Boom hosed up his left shoulder/arm on the first drive and it's obviously a problem. Hope he doesn't start fumbling because of it.

AradoBalanga
Jan 3, 2013

Sean Bean in a mentor-esque role?

Yeah, I give him 20 minutes top.

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs

wheez the roux posted:

in the spirit of neutrality, here is some genderless porn





and the cake im making tomorrow



hey man, you got a recipe for that cake

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.
nothing says guaranteed hit like 150million January release

R.D. Mangles
Jan 10, 2004


AradoBalanga posted:

Sean Bean in a mentor-esque role?

Yeah, I give him 20 minutes top.

sean bean should be cast as an immortal highlander in his next role

HarlanHell
Nov 16, 2012

Nevermind that shit here comes Mingo!

Mel Mudkiper posted:

This is the worst attempt at a team switch joke that has ever been made on this forum and you should be loving ashamed

I'm a Browns fan I'm always ashamed. Just thought maybe you'd go back to the Broncos if they make it to the ACFCG. No body should ever root for the Steelers much less switch to them.

Chris James 2
Aug 9, 2012


Dr_Strangelove
Dec 16, 2003

Mein Fuhrer! THEY WON!


She has bolt-on tits

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!

Eltoasto posted:

Yeah Boom hosed up his left shoulder/arm on the first drive and it's obviously a problem. Hope he doesn't start fumbling because of it.

The Colts somehow regretting not dressing Trent Richardson would be kind of funny in a depressing way. You'd probably need a few more guys to go down to get to that point though.

Nick Soapdish
Apr 27, 2008


"The linchpin of our foreign policy is human rights."

HAHAHAHAHA, is that show like a terrible West Wing?

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Well he did major in architecture.

Errant Gin Monks
Oct 2, 2009

"Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch
:hawksin:

wheez the roux posted:

in the spirit of neutrality, here is some genderless porn





and the cake im making tomorrow



That looks like fruity pebbles. Gimme dat

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

HarlanHell posted:

I'm a Browns fan I'm always ashamed. Just thought maybe you'd go back to the Broncos if they make it to the ACFCG. No body should ever root for the Steelers much less switch to them.

Meh maybe once they lose Manning I will consider it but having success off another team's QB is a bitch move

haljordan
Oct 22, 2004

the corpse of god is love.







I'm sure the concrete was for his underground sex dungeon

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

R.D. Mangles posted:

sean bean should be cast as an immortal highlander in his next role

sean bean needs to be in the prequel to Edge of Tomorrow/Live Die Repeat where he plays the one dude the lady couldn't save

Sophia
Apr 16, 2003

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Andrew Luck sounds like me when I get really deep into a Wikipedia hole

Eltoasto
Aug 26, 2002

We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.



Grittybeard posted:

The Colts somehow regretting not dressing Trent Richardson would be kind of funny in a depressing way. You'd probably need a few more guys to go down to get to that point though.

Yeah Space Emperor is the backup and then there is a random practice squad guy who we can safely assume is better than Trent.

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Sweet, straight up porn links and creepy gifs in the gdt pyf sluts immediately it's cool and fun

Rags to Liches
Mar 11, 2008

future skeleton soldier


R.D. Mangles posted:

sean bean should be cast as an immortal highlander in his next role

I'd watch a Highlander buddy movie with Sean Bean and Christopher Lambert.

Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Eltoasto posted:

Yeah Space Emperor is the backup and then there is a random practice squad guy who we can safely assume is better than Trent.

How is Trent so loving bad I just don't understand it.

Samadhi
May 13, 2001

Sophia posted:

Andrew Luck sounds like me when I get really deep into a Wikipedia hole

Obscure information on obscure topics is the best way to clear your mind

OSheaman
May 27, 2004

Heavy Fucking Metal
Fun Shoe
People are still watching Big Bang Theory, huh

NickRoweFillea
Sep 27, 2012

doin thangs

Alouicious posted:

sean bean needs to be in the prequel to Edge of Tomorrow/Live Die Repeat where he plays the one dude the lady couldn't save

the movie would never end though, because sean bean must always die

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

Big Beef City posted:

Sweet, straight up porn links and creepy gifs in the gdt pyf sluts immediately it's cool and fun

everyone makes fun of bluesquares for a reason

Samadhi
May 13, 2001

Whatever happened to Monte Ball

Did they feed him to Elway in a blood sacrifice

Dango Bango
Jul 26, 2007

OSheaman posted:

People are still watching Big Bang Theory, huh

America's taste in comedy is pretty bad as a whole.

ebg
Mar 31, 2008

Sophia posted:

Andrew Luck sounds like me when I get really deep into a Wikipedia hole

Andrew Luck is the kind of dude who'd be fascinated by my nerdy archaeology stories and then make dinner while I watch OUAT.

Mel Mudkiper
Jan 19, 2012

At this point, Mudman abruptly ends the conversation. He usually insists on the last word.

Big Beef City posted:

Sweet, straight up porn links and creepy gifs in the gdt pyf sluts immediately it's cool and fun

You should have seen what it was like before MV put the hammer down

Nick Soapdish
Apr 27, 2008



He's got to stay up on the latest information if this NFL football thing doesn't pan out.

wheez the roux
Aug 2, 2004
THEY SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO LYNCH

Death to the Seahawks. Death to Seahawks posters.

NickRoweFillea posted:

hey man, you got a recipe for that cake

birthday layer cake
makes 1 (6-inch) layer cake, 5 to 6 inches tall. serves 6 to 8

once we got birthday cake crumbs down, we moved on to our larger quest of making a funfetti cake, canned frosting and all, from scratch. turns out that looking on the side of the cake mix box at the master ingredient list was really helpful in getting the “secret” stuff we couldn’t figure out by taste.

1 recipe birthday cake (recipe below)
1 recipe birthday cake soak (recipe below)
1 recipe birthday cake frosting (recipe below)
1 recipe birthday cake crumb (recipe below)

special equipment
1 (6-inch) cake ring
2 strips acetate, each 3 inches wide and 20 inches long

1. put a piece of parchment or a silpat on the counter. invert the cake onto it and peel off the parchment or silpat from the bottom of the cake. use the cake ring to stamp out 2 circles from the cake. these are your top 2 cake layers. the remaining cake “scrap” will come together to make the bottom layer of the cake.

layer 1, the bottom

2. clean the cake ring and place it in the center of a sheet pan lined with clean parchment or a silpat. use 1 strip of acetate to line the inside of the cake ring.

3. put the cake scraps together inside the ring and use the back of your hand to tamp the scraps together into a flat even layer.

4. dunk a pastry brush in the birthday cake soak and give the layer of cake a good, healthy bath of half of the soak.

5. use the back of a spoon to spread one-fifth of the frosting in an even layer over the cake.

6. sprinkle one-third of the birthday crumbs evenly over the frosting. use the back of your hand to anchor them in place.

7. use the back of a spoon to spread a second fifth of the birthday cake frosting as evenly as possible over the crumbs.

layer 2, the middle

8. with your index finger, gently tuck the second strip of acetate between the cake ring and the top ¼ inch of the first strip of acetate, so that you have a clear ring of acetate 5 to 6 inches tall – high enough to support the height of the finished cake. set a cake round on top of the frosting, and repeat the process for layer 1 (if 1 of your 2 cake rounds is jankier than the other, use it here in the middle and save the prettier one for the top).

layer 3, the top

9. nestle the remaining cake round into the frosting. cover the top of the cake with the remaining frosting. give it volume and swirls, or do as we do and opt for a perfectly flat top. garnish the frosting with the remaining birthday crumbs.

10. transfer the sheet pan to the freezer and freeze for a minimum of 12 hours to set the cake and filling. the cake will keep in the freezer for up to 2 weeks.

11. at least 3 hours before you are ready to serve the cake, pull the sheet pan out of the freezer and, using your fingers and thumbs, pop the cake out of the cake ring. gently peel off the acetate, and transfer the cake to a platter or cake stand. let it defrost in the fridge for a minimum of 3 hours (wrapped well in plastic, the cake can be refrigerated for up to 5 days).

12. slice the cake into wedges and serve.


birthday cake
makes 1 quarter sheet pan

55 g butter, at room temperature (4 tablespoons, 1/2 stick)
60 g vegetable shortening (1/3 cup)
250 g granulated sugar (1 1/4 cups)
50 g light brown sugar (3 tablespoons, tightly packed)
3 eggs
110 g buttermilk (1/2 cup)
65 g grapeseed oil (1/3 cup)
8 g clear vanilla extract (2 teaspoons)
245 g cake flour (2 cups)
6 g baking powder (1 1/2 teaspoons)
3 g kosher salt (3/4 teaspoon)
50 g rainbow sprinkles (1/4 cup)
plus
25 g rainbow sprinkles (2 tablespoons)

1. heat the oven to 350°f.

2. combine the butter, shortening, and sugars in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and cream together on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes. scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the eggs, and mix on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes. scrape down the sides of the bowl once more.

3. on low speed, stream in the buttermilk, oil, and vanilla. increase the mixer speed to medium-high and paddle for 4 to 6 minutes, until the mixture is practically white, twice the size of your original fluffy butter-and-sugar mixture, and completely homogenous. don’t rush the process. you’re basically forcing too much liquid into an already fatty mixture that doesn’t want to make room for that liquid. there should be no streaks of fat or liquid. stop the mixer and scrape down the sides of the bowl.

4. on very low speed, add the cake flour, baking powder, salt, and the 50 g (¼ cup) rainbow sprinkles. mix for 45 to 60 seconds, just until your batter comes together. scrape down the sides of the bowl.

5. pam-spray a quarter sheet pan and line it with parchment, or just line the pan with a silpat. using a spatula, spread the cake batter in an even layer in the pan. sprinkle the remaining 25 g (2 tablespoons) rainbow sprinkles evenly on top of the batter.

6. bake the cake for 30 to 35 minutes. the cake will rise and puff, doubling in size, but will remain slightly buttery and dense. at 30 minutes, gently poke the edge of the cake with your finger: the cake should bounce back slightly and the center should no longer be jiggly. leave the cake in the oven for an extra 3 to 5 minutes if it doesn’t pass these tests.

7. take the cake out of the oven and cool on a wire rack or, in a pinch, in the fridge or freezer (don’t worry, it’s not cheating). the cooled cake can be stored in the fridge, wrapped in plastic wrap, for up to 5 days.


birthday cake soak
55 g milk (1/4 cup)
4 g clear vanilla extract (1 teaspoon)

whisk together the milk and vanilla in a small bowl.

vanilla extract
we use two different kinds of vanilla extract, brown patisse brand and clear mccormick brand. neither is of any fancy caliber, but we use these specific vanilla extracts on purpose because they are the flavor that most people relate to in their baked goods. vanilla beans and fancy vanilla paste do not taste like home to me, but commercial vanilla extract does.

we use brown (standard) vanilla extract in 90 percent of our baked goods. it’s the extract that flavors nearly every homemade chocolate chip cookie. we use clear mccormick vanilla extract for the birthday cake, birthday cake crumb, and birthday cake frosting. it is vanilla in flavor, but not flavored by any actual vanilla beans. it’s “vanilla” in more of a guilty tub-of-frosting, box-cake way. the two are not interchangeable in recipes. both patisse brown extract and mccormick clear vanilla are available online.


birthday cake frosting
makes about 430 g (2 cups)

115 g butter, at room temperature (8 tablespoons or 1 stick)
50 g vegetable shortening (1/4 cup)
55 g cream cheese (2 ounces)
25 g glucose (1 tablespoon)
18 g corn syrup (1 tablespoon)
12 g clear vanilla extract (1 tablespoon)
200 g confectioners’ sugar (1 1/4 cups)
2 g kosher salt (1/2 teaspoon)
.25 g baking powder (pinch)
.25 g citric acid (pinch)

1. combine the butter, shortening, and cream cheese in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and cream together on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes, until the mixture is smooth and fluffy. scrape down the sides of the bowl.

2. with the mixer on its lowest speed, stream in the glucose, corn syrup, and vanilla. crank the mixer up to medium-high and beat for 2 to 3 minutes, until the mixture is silky smooth and a glossy white. scrape down the sides of the bowl.

3. add the confectioners’ sugar, salt, baking powder, and citric acid and mix on low speed just to incorporate them into the batter. crank the speed back up to medium-high and beat for 2 to 3 minutes, until you have a brilliant stark white, beautifully smooth frosting. it should look just like it came out of a plastic tub at the grocery store! use the frosting immediately, or store it in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 1 week.


birthday cake crumb
makes about 275 g (2 ¼ cups)

100 g granulated sugar (1/2 cup)
25 g light brown sugar (1 1/2 tablespoons, tightly packed)
90 g cake flour (3/4 cup)
2 g baking powder (1/2 teaspoon)
2 g kosher salt (1/2 teaspoon)
20 g rainbow sprinkles (2 tablespoons)
40 g grapeseed oil (1/4 cup)
12 g clear vanilla extract (1 tablespoon)

1. heat the oven to 300°f.

2. combine the sugars, flour, baking powder, salt, and sprinkles in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and mix on low speed until well combined.

3. add the oil and vanilla and paddle again to distribute. the wet ingredients will act as glue to help the dry ingredients form small clusters; continue paddling until that happens.

4. bake for 15 minutes at 300°f.

5. let the crumbs cool completely before using in a recipe or scarfing by the handful. stored in an airtight container, the crumbs will keep fresh for 1 week at room temperature or 1 month in the fridge or freezer.

Errant Gin Monks
Oct 2, 2009

"Yeah..."
- Marshawn Lynch
:hawksin:

Big Beef City posted:

Sweet, straight up porn links and creepy gifs in the gdt pyf sluts immediately it's cool and fun

You seem mad. You alright?

Sophia
Apr 16, 2003

The heart wants what the heart wants.

Petite Dinklage posted:

Obscure information on obscure topics is the best way to clear your mind

Yes! And clear the room at a party to leave you to your thoughts

Athanatos
Jun 7, 2006

Est. 1967

MAO TSE-TUNGACUNT posted:

Andrew Luck is the kind of dude who'd be fascinated by my nerdy archaeology stories and then make dinner while I watch OUAT.

He has every season of How It's Made on bluray

Azhais
Feb 5, 2007
Switchblade Switcharoo

Eltoasto posted:

Yeah Space Emperor is the backup and then there is a random practice squad guy who we can safely assume is better than Trent.

Kyle MacLachlan is your backup RB?

Big Beef City
Aug 15, 2013

Mel Mudkiper posted:

You should have seen what it was like before MV put the hammer down

Mel I'm not a playoff poster c'mon man.

Guze
Oct 10, 2007

Regular Human Bartender

Commercial break fake out

Azhais
Feb 5, 2007
Switchblade Switcharoo

Mel Mudkiper posted:

You should have seen what it was like before MV put the hammer down

Interesting?

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Shimrra Jamaane
Aug 10, 2007

Obscure to all except those well-versed in Yuuzhan Vong lore.

Athanatos posted:

He has every season of How It's Made on bluray

There's nothing wrong with that.

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