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Josef K. Sourdust posted:I'm not saying that women don't have a hard time, but they do have it easier than men. They can have sex anytime they want. Even a fat chick can just walked down the street and gently caress the first guy they see. Women control all the sex and therefore control all the power. gently caress you and your
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 09:52 |
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# ? May 19, 2024 16:32 |
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trickybiscuits posted:Reminds me of a story (maybe I read it here?) about a hooker who came into the ER after overdosing on heroin. The doctors gave her Narcan and immediately she burst into tears and screamed at them, "Do you know how many dicks I had to suck to buy that?!"
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 10:23 |
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What? Wait!!
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 11:56 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:What? Wait!! We don't want your sort 'round here
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 12:09 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:While I believe that drugs should be legalized, I also think it's true that drug users are less intelligent than people who don't do drugs.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 15:24 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:Try as I might, I can't see what's wrong with segregation. It seems like everyone would be happier with their own kind and it's only fair to be separate but equal, right? I say bring it back Hey. Hey guy. Hey gently caress you, pal.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 15:40 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:Black people, am I right?
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 15:42 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:Dead Poets Society was decent enough I suppose.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 15:51 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:For twelve years, you have been asking: Who is Josef K. Sourdust? This is Josef K. Sourdust speaking. I am the man who loves his life. I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values. I am the man who has deprived you of victims and thus has destroyed your world, and if you wish to know why you are perishing-you who dread knowledge-I am the man who will now tell you.”
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 15:57 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:Sometimes I like to run after the bus to make it stop and when it does I run up to the door and tell the driver an important piece of information, such as "The elastic is stretched a little on these socks and I don't like it" and then I usually stand and wait for him to close the door but I stick my foot back in to stop him from doing it and I scream until he radios for police and then I run away. One time I was discomforting a local bus driver when an old woman asked me what I was screaming about. Sometimes I act a bit hastily, without thinking, and this must have been one of those times because I punched her REALLY HARD in the mouth. Then I realized what I had done and the bus driver was pulling the little handle trying to break my leg or something and everyone on the bus was yelling at me because I don't think they appreciated my actions. One man stood up from his seat and ran at me. He tried to shove me out of the door but I grabbed his hoodie and pulled him out with me onto the pavement and yelled at the bus driver "GO! GO! GO!" and he closed the door and took off and the hoodie guy started punching me so I elbowed his face really hard and he started bleeding and I was a lot bigger than him so I kind of carried / dragged him to this building nearby and put him inside there and I tied his ankles with the cable that was there because I couldn't hold his arms down but he relented after I hit him with a chair a few times and I tied his hands too. So I was waiting for there to not be any cops outside and I decided to teach this guy a little game I like to play. I snort with each nostril in turn and make songs that way. sometimes I lose the beat or get mixed up in my nostril rotation and I call that a "banana note" for some reason (I forgot why!) so I was snorting and I hit a banana note in the middle of Don't Stop Believin' and I was SUPER pissed off about it. I decided to fix it so I snorted extra hard with the other nostril but it didn't really feel right still so I kept trying over and over to snort harder and harder with each nostril and I was jumping up and down and I must have looked really angry because the hoodie guy was crying pretty freely, like so much that I could see tear drops soaked into his mouth gag rinsing the blood away. Anyway I lost track of time because of that banana note and I realized that the cops had been gone for hours! The hoodie guy was laying back against the wall and his crotch was TOTALLY open so I was like "Ooooh man" and I got out one of my strings of firecrackers and lit it and threw it at his crotch and he started flopping all around while the exploded! Hahaha! They didn't stay there though because he was flopping. I took the chance to leave. This guy sounds like a real dumbass
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:15 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:I feel like people who bash Nickelback aren't listening to the lyrics. I mean REALLY listening.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:21 |
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This has all gone terribly wrong! Dear FBI/CIA/MI5/ISIS/etc - I did not say any of those things. My good name has been slandered and I am the victim of - at worst naivete - and I hope that will be taken into consideration.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:25 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:I'm too cool to eat rear end
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:27 |
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hosed up if true
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:27 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:To add to the cool site discussion, two of my favorite sites on the web are ebaumsworld.com and fark.com. Will Wheaton posts on fark.com and he's one of the best actors on TV!
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:30 |
LLJK - Lame Like Josef K.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:30 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:This has all gone terribly wrong!
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:40 |
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freeedr posted:This guy sounds like a real dumbass
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:54 |
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I've decided being quoted isn't very much fun and that this wasn't one of my better ideas....
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 16:58 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:I've decided having non-consensual sex with stray dogs is fun and that this was one of my better ideas....
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 17:05 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:Let's just say Buffy was a female dog, and my depravity knew no limits.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 17:33 |
Exactly as I'd hoped.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 17:56 |
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Franz Kafka wrote: "Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested. " I know exactly what he meant. I am in a dystopian goonscape, on trial for things I never said.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 17:57 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:I realized at once that I shouldn't have spoken aloud, and that by doing so I had, in a sense, acknowledged the stranger's right to oversee my actions.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:05 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:Franz Kafka wrote: "Someone must have been telling lies about Josef K., he knew he had done nothing wrong but, one morning, he was arrested. "
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:12 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:Dwight "Ike" Eisenhower: fake identity for a german nazi, same as ALL US presidents after the fall of the III Reich, except for resisters JF Kennedy and Reagan, as well as illuminati actor Carter: exposed worldwide first
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:18 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:To be quite frank, Platinum sucks at making games. Vanquish was terrible and Metal Gear Rising: Revengance was so boring it put me to sleep.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:21 |
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This thread made a little boy's wish come true today.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:23 |
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This is honestly the worst one so far. What a horrible human being. Someone should buy him red title text of this.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:23 |
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mr.capps posted:This is honestly the worst one so far. I would but I spent the part of my monthly budget earmarked for "dumb Internet poo poo" last night making it so we don't have to see DoctorWhat's dumb face every time he posts
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:53 |
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Uhh:: What's up with this Josef K. Sourdust guy?
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:56 |
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Phlegmish posted:Uhh:: What's up with this Josef K. Sourdust guy? He wants to be quoted.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:56 |
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Quoth the Stardust Forevermore.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 18:58 |
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Flash Gordon Ramsay posted:This thread made a little boy's wish come true today. If we're lucky it's like the Eminem wish and he dies tomorrow.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 19:00 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:99% of the time rape is reprehensible. 99% of the time rape is an action so horrific it deserves universal contempt. But there are rare instances in which even the act of rape can in fact be justified. Here are four off the top of my head:
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 19:04 |
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Josef K. Sourdust posted:Josef K. Sourdust
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 19:12 |
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Josef K is a horrible human being. I can't believe you feel this way.
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 19:26 |
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Goddrat. When is this shitlord going to get banned?
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 19:28 |
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we're all secretly just a little Josef K inside, i think
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 19:29 |
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# ? May 19, 2024 16:32 |
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Tollymain posted:we're all secretly just a little Josef K inside, i think You were the lookout right?
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# ? Jan 14, 2015 19:31 |