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http://techcrunch.com/2015/01/13/social-slot-machine/ Not since Color has a startup been as widely laughed at as the troubled Stanford payments startup Clinkle. So it’s little surprise that the company has changed the name of its app to “Treats”, as well as its direction. After seeing the company’s site had rebranded, I spoke with 23-year old CEO Lucas Duplan to find out how Treats will work. The private beta product now centers on you paying for things with a Treats debit card to earn “Treats” — essentially lottery tickets you send to friends that pay for the entirety of their next purchase if they “win”. ... How Treats Works Vague descriptions of Clinkle have proliferated, but Duplan gave me the specifics on how his new app Treats will actually function:
Yes, that’s a pretty complicated sequence with plenty of points of failure. Before you get any real value out of Treats, a friend has to make seven purchases, choose you to get the Treat, you have to buy something with Treats, and you have to get lucky and win. 
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Jan 14, 2015 17:25
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is that the startup that advertised with vending machines that spit out free cash? or is it the startup that was founded by a 17 year old or is it both
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Jan 14, 2015 17:29
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Yep it's both http://valleywag.gawker.com/search?q=Clinkle
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Jan 14, 2015 17:30
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worse than a standard loyalty program in literally every way possible
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Jan 14, 2015 17:34
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we went back to the 1990s and decided that the reason flooz and beenz didnt succeed was that they werent difficult enough to use
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Jan 14, 2015 17:59
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hhahahahahahaha beenz i forgot
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Jan 14, 2015 18:00
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Amongst the company's partnerships was one with MasterCard enabling holders of the 'rewardz card' to transfer earned beenz to their credit card account. The company used an innovative guerilla marketing campaign to get the word out in the early days. Instead of distributing a flyer in the conventional way, the company hired magicians and sleight-of-hand experts to slip the flyers surreptitiously into the pockets of members of the public. jfc
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Jan 14, 2015 18:02
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quote:Use by crime syndicate good gravy vc investors in the 90s were idiots
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Jan 14, 2015 18:04
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flakeloaf posted:good gravy vc investors in the 90s were idiots at least then they had the excuse that the internet was new, not sure why things are supposed to be different 15 years later anderssen probably still thinks he's where he is because he's smart and not because he won the lottery
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Jan 14, 2015 18:06
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Jan 14, 2015 18:08
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jerkcity becomes more and more like a documentary with the passage of time
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Jan 14, 2015 18:09
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qirex posted:at least then they had the excuse that the internet was new, not sure why things are supposed to be different 15 years later like, on paper pets.com wasn't an awful idea because animal people spend stupid amounts of money on animal poo poo, and amazon.com was working so why not be amazon for animals, sure let's invest three hundred million dollars in an idea and hope it works without first checking to see if they are spending less than they're bringing in, or that they have a coherent business plan, or that the linchpin of that plan is not "out-bezos bezos in his own arena" without supply lines that can even beat retail
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Jan 14, 2015 18:12
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let me tell you about a little something called the "first mover advantage"
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Jan 14, 2015 18:13
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flakeloaf posted:like, on paper pets.com wasn't an awful idea because animal people spend stupid amounts of money on animal poo poo, and amazon.com was working so why not be amazon for animals, sure let's invest three hundred million dollars in an idea and hope it works without first checking to see if they are spending less than they're bringing in, or that they have a coherent business plan, or that the linchpin of that plan is not "out-bezos bezos in his own arena" without supply lines that can even beat retail they had a sock puppet didn't beenz or flooz give some goon money to hunt pigs in hawaii
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Jan 14, 2015 18:32
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FCKGW posted:http://techcrunch.com/2015/01/13/social-slot-machine/ it's complicated for consumers because their actual customers are businesses. consumers won't pay money for a loyalty program, but businesses might. except most won't, because it turns out that businesses also are skeptical about paying someone else to run a loyalty program they could easily do themselves. so it's essentially impossible to run a common loyalty program service like that, which is why no big successful nationwide ones really exist. doesn't stop startup after startup from trying, though, convinced that all they need to do is print up some cards and set up a database and then they'll disrupt the poo poo out of the market these guys seem to be going all-in on packing value-adds to attract businesses with their system, and then using wacky marketing gimmicks to try to make up for the fact that consumers hate those same value-adds they're gonna fail
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Jan 14, 2015 18:35
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FCKGW posted:http://techcrunch.com/2015/01/13/social-slot-machine/ etrademonkey.gif
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Jan 14, 2015 18:41
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fuuuuck the etrade monkey ad is like 15 years old
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Jan 14, 2015 18:42
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Webvan blew through $1.2 billion dollars of VC money
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Jan 14, 2015 18:42
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Webvan IPOd at a $4.8 billion dollar valuation. At the time of their IPO they had a cumulative revenue of $400k and losses of $50 million.
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Jan 14, 2015 18:44
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Main Paineframe posted:it's complicated for consumers because their actual customers are businesses. consumers won't pay money for a loyalty program, but businesses might. except most won't, because it turns out that businesses also are skeptical about paying someone else to run a loyalty program they could easily do themselves. so it's essentially impossible to run a common loyalty program service like that, which is why no big successful nationwide ones really exist. doesn't stop startup after startup from trying, though, convinced that all they need to do is print up some cards and set up a database and then they'll disrupt the poo poo out of the market Not to mention that grocery stores did this in the 50s and 60s only to be outdone by competitors who eliminated their loyalty programs and lowered their prices as a result.
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Jan 14, 2015 18:45
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FCKGW posted:Webvan blew through $1.2 billion dollars of VC money I'm fine with this, because every dollar "lost" by a startup is merely returned to the middle class via artisanal burger chefs and ball pit installers.
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Jan 14, 2015 18:49
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FCKGW posted:Webvan IPOd at a $4.8 billion dollar valuation.
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Jan 14, 2015 18:54
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qirex posted:anderssen probably still thinks he's where he is because he's smart and not because he won the lottery no, you think?
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Jan 14, 2015 19:00
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there was that article a while back that almost crossed into self-awareness where a guy went "the people who we think are the smartest committed $100 million to google glass" but for some reason his conclusion was that nobody knows what they're doing and we're all idiots and not that vcs have no quality filter and they're just there to tell nice stories to their investors
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Jan 14, 2015 19:02
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qirex posted:there was that article a while back that almost crossed into self-awareness where a guy went "the people who we think are the smartest committed $100 million to google glass" but for some reason his conclusion was that nobody knows what they're doing and we're all idiots and not that vcs have no quality filter and they're just there to tell nice stories to their investors speaking of "no quality filter", soylent just got $20 million from vcs
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Jan 14, 2015 19:08
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how the gently caress will they pitch soylent to neurotypicals? even as a weightloss thing "here's a bland paste you now eat for the rest of your life" isn't that appealing to anyone
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Jan 14, 2015 19:12
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Main Paineframe posted:speaking of "no quality filter", soylent just got $20 million from vcs holy loving poo poo. i'm going to whitelabel some vanilla slimfast and pitch it as the next 'trepaneur body hacking powermeal that's disrupting the 3 squares a day market i can even include some fda approved studies showing it to be 5x more effective at not killing you with stupid nutritional imbalances than soylent
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Jan 14, 2015 19:12
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FCKGW posted:Webvan IPOd at a $4.8 billion dollar valuation.
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Jan 14, 2015 19:12
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http://techcrunch.com/2015/01/14/soylent-20m/quote:Soylent Slurps $20M From A16Z, Lerer, Index To Drink Big Food’s Milkshake
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Jan 14, 2015 19:15
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The mission: to disrupt Big Food with a subscription ecommerce liquid alternative to junk food.
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They're going to have to stop calling it soylent at some point though yeah? Like they remember where they got the name, right?
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Jan 14, 2015 19:19
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theflyingexecutive posted:how the gently caress will they pitch soylent to neurotypicals? even as a weightloss thing "here's a bland paste you now eat for the rest of your life" isn't that appealing to anyone the same way they convinced neurotypicals to deny their children an essential aspect of first-world health care so we could once again enjoy serious diseases that doctors should only see in textbooks: celebrity endorsement
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Jan 14, 2015 19:20
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theflyingexecutive posted:how the gently caress will they pitch soylent to neurotypicals? even as a weightloss thing "here's a bland paste you now eat for the rest of your life" isn't that appealing to anyone probably on the same "you're a high power young business professional who doesn't have time for food" that they do now
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Jan 14, 2015 19:21
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weve established this great food company, have a problem with how our food tastes tho imagine an a16z for restaurants, just block after block of empty loving dining establishments wondering why their revolutionary new poo poo dispensers arent filling the seats at $80 a plate
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Jan 14, 2015 19:22
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carry on then posted:probably on the same "you're a high power young business professional who doesn't have time for food" that they do now gently caress, even those things have chocolate chips in them
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Jan 14, 2015 19:22
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flakeloaf posted:the same way they convinced neurotypicals to deny their children an essential aspect of first-world health care so we could once again enjoy serious diseases that doctors should only see in textbooks: celebrity endorsement speaking of have the original vaxxers recanted or have they stuck to their guns? you'd think the resurgence of long-defeated diseases would be enough to convince anyone
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Jan 14, 2015 19:24
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noep still loony
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Jan 14, 2015 19:25
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Necc0 posted:speaking of have the original vaxxers recanted or have they stuck to their guns? you'd think the resurgence of long-defeated diseases would be enough to convince anyone they cannot let go of the "mercury!!!!!" thing but they've eased up on the autism
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Jan 14, 2015 19:25
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don't forget "it's too many antibodies" he can sit in the catbox and stuff itchy eddy's legos up his rear end but one specific memo to your b-cells is strictly off limits
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Jan 14, 2015 19:27
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FCKGW posted:At the time of their IPO they had a cumulative revenue of $400k and losses of $50 million.
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Jan 14, 2015 19:30
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there's a poster in here that bought soylent off kickstarter then fed it to their toddler. lmao
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Jan 14, 2015 19:31
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