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Chapter the Ninth: A rolling stone gathers no moss. March 1, 2026-April 1, 2026 It's time for our traditional talent hunt, so across Europe teenagers seek to put their best foot forward in the hopes that the Impressario of Wrexham visits toting along dreams of glory and the opportunity to come play for the greatest club in the world. Less exciting are our matches in all three of our club competitions and a friendly pitting the US of A against England.  You know what this means, don't you? The 4-4-2 diamond is once again fully operational.   Yes, yes. Just add them to the ever mounting pile of other honors and awards we've won.  Who runs an international tournament at the start of March? I hope our backup keeper, Lajos Kocsis, is ready to face Chelsea.   Hot dang, Stoke. You might be getting relegated, but you're going back to Europe! Tough loss for Southampton, though, not being able to score the deciding goal despite having a man advantage for the final forty minutes.  I think the whole world is ready to see me embarrass Bruno again.  You're right. I'm sure they'll see who's better at the end of the match.  But perhaps Bruno Santos should spend less time preening and more time doing his job, because right now his players keep refusing to negotiate new contracts with him. vs Chelsea, March 3, 2026 Premier League  This match has been delayed over two months now, we've played nearly half of the Premier League twice in the time it's taken us to face Chelsea once. I guess Bruno Santos couldn't duck me forever, and his panicked bleating to the press intensifies as match day draws near. I imagine he got in a few snide remarks about Kojiro Minami being absent for this match, but I'm not the sort of person to pay attention to his rambling. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Hammatt, Reed, Laux, Mercado, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Murphy, Loseille, Quiboulaz, Enrique, Ünsal, Bailey, Allan. Chelsea knocked us out of the Champions League last year when we couldn't break down their defense to score a goal. That's not going to happen this time, I'm sending the squad out in our 4-4-2 diamond to play an open, wild game and force Chelsea out of their shell. We do score quickly, but not from open play. Instead Mujkic picks out Mercado on a corner kick after four minutes, and Chelsea have already fallen behind. The early goal is the best thing that could have happened, as the Stamford Bridge boys have to venture forward in hopes of grabbing an equalizer. That leaves Stringel enough room to dribble deep into their territory before sliding a perfectly weighted ball to Thiago for our second goal. Meteor closes out the first half by abusing all world winger Santolo Caccia at the edge of the penalty box and swishing a swerving ball into the net. The second half is a dull affair, and credit is due to our defense for our backup keeper needing to make only one save all game. Man of the Match: Mateo “Meteor” Mujkic   Wrexham 3-0 Chelsea  What happened to showing everyone how superior you are on the pitch, Bruno?  I could have told you Tosh was garbage, Leeds. I've been saying that for years. At Nottingham Forest, March 8, 2026 FA Cup, Sixth Round  Nottingham are getting promoted back to the Premier League, but they're still just a lower level squad right now. How much trouble could they give a club that just pasted Chelsea three-nil? Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Enrique, Maloney, Parr, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Minami, Reed, Laux, Zouaghi, Bailey, Mercado, Hayes. Not much, apparently. We're off to the races when a killer ball from Mujkic springs Shirra on the counter in the third minute. Then Shirra does the honors for Stringel on another blisteringly fast counter attack in the 23rd minute. Nottingham reduces our lead five minutes later on a counter attack of their own when Hammatt's mediocre speed is exposed, but Parr and Stringel goals after an hour of play give us an insurmountable lead. That's not to say that Nottingham didn't give their all until the very end, though, with their goals in the 88th and 89th minutes making me uncomfortable on the touchline and later the team uncomfortable as I screeched at them on the way back to Wrexham. Man of the Match: Scott “The Golden Boy” Shirra   Nottm Forest 3-4 Wrexham  Another Championship division side? This has been the easiest path to the FA Cup final I've ever seen.  Arsenal is the first English club swatted out of the Champions League, after blowing a 3 goal advantage in Dortmund. Chelsea advances, along with Manchester United.  Don't think I forgot about signing foreign kids. UKIP has cited me as being one of the biggest threats to English culture because of the number of immigrants coming to Wrexham. At Watford, March 15, 2026 Premier League  We're back to using the 4-2-3-1 for this match, I dislike how many chances we allowed Nottingham Forest even before they nearly came back from a three goal deficit. Watford, on the other hand, seem to think it's Christmas:  Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Ünsal, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Enrique, Maloney, Mercado, Allan. A boring victory is what I wanted, and a boring victory is what I got in a match where Watford only had about three minutes of possession in our third of the field. Our scoring comes in the first thirty minutes of the match, first after Parr is tripped in the penalty area after outrunning his marker, and then when Meteor skull-thumps a Thiago free kick off the crossbar. It's good that we responded to our defensive miscues in the prior match by promptly keeping a clean sheet in this one. Man of the Match: Mateo Mujkic   Watford 0-2 Wrexham  It's March 15 and we've already clinched a top 3 spot. That's the earliest I've ever accomplished that. But it's not the only good news:  16th place Burnley put on the performance of an age to hold mighty Man U scoreless, and we've now got a two point cushion at the top of the table. It's enough to make me stop holding my breath, but not enough that I can breathe easy.  PSG still seems to think I'd be willing to sell them more than our squad players. There's some things money just can't buy, Nasser Al-Khelaïfi.  Southampton's made it to the FA Cup semifinal, if they somehow got past Manchester United there could be a possible reunion game for Sky Shadowing come mid-May.  There's no bright stars in our youth academy class this year. Cooke is the best of the bunch with a three star potential and the only one who might be more than organizational filler.  I guess I'll just have to keep signing away great prospects from other clubs to keep us stocked to the gills with future legends. vs Barcelona, March 18, 2026 Champions League, Knockout Round Home Tie  We've got three away goals, and would have to lose 4-0 to not make it to penalties. Stranger things have happened, but I'm already looking down the road at who we could get in the quarters. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Ünsal, Mercado, Shirra, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Enrique, Allan, Parr, Stringel. Barcelona get on the board this time, making it three-one on aggregate after half the Wrexham team is caught ball watching on a 22nd minute corner kick. Any dream they have of an epic comeback dies stillborn five minutes later when Thiago slips the two men marking him and gracefully tips a Meteor cross past the goal line. Our captain adds a goal to his assist just after halftime, with a brilliant dribble and shot. Barca muster nothing in response, and it's on to the quarterfinals for the fifth year in a row. Also of note, this is now the third out of the last four games that Meteor has earned Man of the Match. He's unstoppable right now. Man of the Match: Mateo Mujkic   Wrexham (5) 2-1 (1) Barcelona  Wrexham seems to be drawn against the Madrid clubs in the Champions League more often than anyone else. We've been in the Champions League for five years now, and this is our third tilt with Atletico to go along with four against Real Madrid.  That's my sign to get myself across the pond for my second job.  I'm giving him a couple more chances before I turf him from the team for good. But there's no doubt that Padilla is one of the most underachieving players I've ever seen.   So long as we play respectably against England I'll be a happy camper. If some of our younger players do well I'll be even happier.  What?! Come on! I left you off the team because I wanted you to be able to rest! This is a meaningless friendly!  I'm going to be back when I pick the US World Cup squad. Think very carefully how you'll respond then and how I'll react to your choice.   We were behind all game, and England constantly threatened to score again. If that's how we play when it counts we're not getting very far.  I wonder how bad we'd have had to lose in order to hurt our morale.   The Batman has looked up to me ever since I took him in after his parents were killed. This is the  Well, with me and Rocky throwing our weight behind the Racecourse Ground, how could you pick elsewhere? vs Swansea City, March 28, 2026 Premier League, Welsh Derby  We owe our southern cousins for drawing with Man United last month, so the night before this match I sent the finest of Welsh Whisky to all their players. Hopefully some of them decide to sample it before the game. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Mercado, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Enrique, Allan, Parr, Ünsal. None of the Swans seem to have hangovers, which is unfortunate. They still can't get their shots on target, though, so it worked out just fine. Stringel provides all the offense we need, with goals in each half, and once more brook no dispute over what club reigns in Wales. Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Wrexham 2-0 Swansea  Three years ago there'd be no way I'd just let a youth prospect worth £1.5m walk away on a free. Now I figure that it'd be too much effort to go through the process of giving him a contract and then finding a buyer for him. At Atletico Madrid, March 31, 2026 Champions League, Quarterfinal Away Tie  Atletico knocked us out of the Champions League in the semifinals two years ago and we repaid the favor in last year's quarterfinal round, making these the rubber match of the series. That means we need a credible result tonight, preferably scoring a couple of away goals to ease the tension for the home leg in a weeks time. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Parr, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Enrique, Ünsal, Allan, Mercado. We outplay Atletico all night long in front of their fans. It doesn't come to anything. Attack after attack is dashed by a last minute interception or a pass that's just out of the reach of our forwards. It doesn't help that we had a penalty shout turned down, denying us a penalty and an away goal. Worryingly, Thiago seems to have cooled off from “hotter than the core of the sun” to merely “warm” and misses three good chances. He's only scored once in the last five matches, and while it's unfair to be disappointed with a man who's scored 48 goals this season for the club I'm still frustrated with the knowledge that a 1-1 draw with Atletico could knock us out of the competition.   Atletico 0-0 Wrexham  I am outraged! Outraged at this outrageous outrage that out-!  Oh... never mind.  Manchester United fell two-nil to Arsenal just after they played Burnley, leaving us up two points with a game in hand, and as we enter the home stretch we're now favorites to win the title. If the most I have to grumble about is an away draw against one of the 10 best clubs in the world things must be going well on all fronts. I may have to kidnap Brent Woods, though, which probably won't be great for his morale or his willingness to captain America in the World Cup. 
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Jan 9, 2015 01:50
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When does the new Stadium finish again? Also glad to see you back.
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Jan 9, 2015 02:34
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Dreamsicle posted:When does the new Stadium finish again? Also glad to see you back. And when does Jeffrey Loria get to sell the naming rights? 
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Jan 9, 2015 03:37
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Its amazing how throughout this whole LP you've never had a touchline ban. You're the antithesis of Alan Pardew (in more ways then one).
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Jan 9, 2015 05:46
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Oh my god this is back  Come on Wrexham!
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Jan 9, 2015 08:00
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So first we grab DeBlasio's kid, and now you poach Jay Glazer's as well?
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Jan 9, 2015 18:43
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canti32 posted:So first we grab DeBlasio's kid, and now you poach Jay Glazer's as well? Par for the course as far as a megabastard's concerned.
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Jan 9, 2015 19:36
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LionYeti posted:Its amazing how throughout this whole LP you've never had a touchline ban. You're the antithesis of Alan Pardew (in more ways then one). It's not for lack of trying! I complain almost every time a penalty is given against us! Sorry that there isn't an update tonight, I got too busy not counting out Touchdown Tom. If you like video games and have even a passing knowledge of American Football, Jon Bois's Breaking Madden series is A+ quality stuff.
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Jan 11, 2015 04:43
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You must be excited about the possibility of the Olympics coming to Boston. See Olympic football live! Shake hands with your unknowing arch nemesis! the joke being that nobody actually wants the Olympics to come to their town
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Jan 11, 2015 05:09
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Oh man am I torn about the Olympics. I'm going to be all for Boston 2024 until they actually give us the games in 2017 and then I'm going to be grumpy as gently caress. Still, if we DO get the games, I am going to probably expire 13 days into the 2024 Olympics after having spent the prior fortnight watching 16 hours of events per day. eta: On the one hand how could I be for this? On the other, how could I NOT be for this? habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 05:23 on Jan 11, 2015 |
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Jan 11, 2015 05:13
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Sky Shadowing posted:You must be excited about the possibility of the Olympics coming to Boston. See Olympic football live! Shake hands with your unknowing arch nemesis! I did, and it was fun drat it  
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Jan 11, 2015 05:14
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I want them in the USA so that we can get stuff live, I know Rio is close enough but loving god drat am I sick of NBC's stupid tape delay.  See, for all you not-Yanks out there, you probably get several channels devoted to Olympic coverage, or at least one that shows stuff live and moves around. But here in the USA, NBC holds "the good stuff" away for their primetime coverage. So, say an American is expected to do well in gymnastics. Rather than airing it live, they will delay it. That stuff worked fine in the old days before, but a little thing called the Internet exists now, and not one of NBC's competitors care that we haven't actually seen it yet. Ironically, neither does NBC's own website. Granted, for certain stuff like team sports that require constant coverage, like basketball or hockey, they tuck them away on a secondary network live (including soccer, even when there is no US team like in London mens), but there's no drama watching an American go for gold in a race where you already know the outcome. On the other hand, there really is no song that says "Olympics" more than John Williams' Buglers Dream and Olympix Fanfare.
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Jan 11, 2015 05:31
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Dreamsicle posted:When does the new Stadium finish again? C. Everett Koop posted:And when does Jeffrey Loria get to sell the naming rights? The naming rights of the stadium have already been sold, but construction won't be complete until late June 2027. And as for the Olympics, I've actually been really fond of NBC from 2008-ish on. They stream basically everything, so you've always got live stuff to watch, and they almost always have live coverage of events on their family of networks (the only time anyone ever tunes in to CNBC is during the Olympics). The prime-time coverage is schmaltzy and never covers anything other than Americans winning medals (and Usain Bolt) but if you're watching the primetime coverage you're not following the Olympics that closely. Although I might be a bit more hardcore than most people about this, I was getting up at 4am to watch repechages because OMG OLYMPICS OMG 
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 05:43 on Jan 11, 2015 |
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Jan 11, 2015 05:40
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I missed out on about 300 posts. Why is Bastable talking you up?
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Jan 11, 2015 05:51
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Because he loves us in a way he'll never love Real Madrid: eta: But he loves that fucker Pete Elliot and not me!?  : That's right, boyo!Sonofabitch! habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 06:02 on Jan 11, 2015 |
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Jan 11, 2015 05:59
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If you think a tape delay on the East Coast is bad, the one here on the west is worse. When you try your hardest to see the results as a surprise and then some east coast relative posts on Facebook about how great it is some person or other one a gold. 3 hours before you can see it live.habeasdorkus posted:They stream basically everything, so you've always got live stuff to watch, and they almost always have live coverage of events on their family of networks (the only time anyone ever tunes in to CNBC is during the Olympics). The prime-time coverage is schmaltzy and never covers anything other than Americans winning medals (and Usain Bolt) but if you're watching the primetime coverage you're not following the Olympics that closely. Although I might be a bit more hardcore than most people about this, I remember watching the Track events in the middle of the day on actual NBC and the coverage actually talked about how the medal round was coming up next,... and up next was the qualifying heat for one of the longer events.
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Jan 11, 2015 07:09
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All reasons VPNs and BBC/other international streams are your friends. NBCs coverage is terrible bullshit.
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Jan 11, 2015 07:33
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Chapter the Tenth: Triple threat. April 1-April 24, 2026 We're coming into the home stretch, and barring some bad beats we should secure our appearance in the FA Cup final while tightening our hold on the league title and more than halfway to the Champions League final. Hold on to your hats, it's going to be quite a ride.   What's that? The pile of trophies is now spilling out into the street? Well, take em all out to the parking lot and put some jersey barriers around them to keep the round ones from rollin' off.  I can't believe I'm going to say this, but come on Chelsea! I'd much rather see you in the semifinal than Man United.  I am well aware of what we need to do to win the league, thank you very much.  I'm also still signing up prospects for our U18 team. They're starting to get expensive as I'm now targeting only the very best. At Leeds United, April 4, 2026 Premier League  Leeds sit solidly midtable in 11th place, which is surprisingly high for a club that just canned their manager. Let's give the new guy a warm welcome by lighting them up at home. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Tounkara, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Enrique, Ünsal, Mercado, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Loseille, Laux, Maloney, Bailey, Shirra, Parr. Thiago must have heard the whispers about his mini-drought, it takes him only ten minutes to put us ahead one-nil. That's followed by a brace from Callum Allan after halftime to put the game out of reach. We don't slack off, though, and it pays off in Sinan Ünsal's third goal of the season. Man of the Match: Callum Allan   Leeds 0-4 Wrexham  Quiboulaz is definitely not going anywhere, given that we paid £30m to pry him from Dortmund we wouldn't even make a substantial profit on a sale. Allan on the other hand is a backup, and I could be convinced to part with him for a kings ransom of over £40m. He came in as a free transfer from Arsenal, and I like the notion of selling Arsenal's players back to them at inflated prices after having done it once with Matty Collett last summer.  It's finally dawned on the media that Thiago is amazing, and his name is now being bandied about as a candidate for player of the year. The guy has set an all time EPL scoring record with six games remaining, what more do you want from him? vs Atletico Madrid, April 8, 2026 Champions League, Quarterfinal Home Tie  Our failure to get an away goal in Madrid means that we have to win this match outright. I think we can do that, but Atletico is certainly capable of nabbing a 1-1 or 2-2 draw if we're not careful. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Maloney, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Bailey, Ünsal, Allan, Mercado. We're careful, and we're good. Parr scores a half volley shot when he gets free in the area thanks to an overlapping Steve Reed run at 19 minutes, and then Laux gives us the comfort of a two goal cushion after Quiboulaz earns a free kick near the byline just before Atletico can retreat and regroup in the lockers. The second half doesn't get any better for the second sons of Madrid, first 20-year-old David Maloney wins a crucial possession battle very far up the pitch and Thiago sends the ensuing pass inside the far corner to make it three-nil. Ten minutes later Shahed Parr gets four Atletico defenders to chase him to the near post, leaving Stringel completely unmarked and awaiting the cutback pass. Atletico's goal in the 84th minute is ignored by 28,000 cheering fans, we're going back to the Semifinals. Man of the Match: Shahed Parr   Wrexham (4) 4-1 (1) Atletico  I'm surprised that 22-year-old Isaac Stringel isn't in the mix, he won it last year, but Laux or Reed would both be worthy winners.  Southampton's run comes to an end, though they did have the lead for 12 minutes in the first half. It means a rematch of the 2021 FA Cup Final when we brush past Bolton in our semi. vs Bolton Wanderers, April 12, 2026 FA Cup, Semifinal  The Wanderers have had a lucky run to this match, we're the first Premiership side they've faced. I hope they enjoyed it, and enjoy playing under the lights of Wembley, because they won't be enjoying the result. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Bailey, Ünsal, Mercado, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Maloney, Shirra, Parr, Stringel. A drubbing for the ages was witnessed by the national television audience and the 90,000 live at Wembley. Bolton didn't get a single shot off the entire game, and managed only 33% possession, and there were no surprises to be had. The fans got to enjoy the Thiago show, as he scored twice in the first half hour and then again after 62 minutes to provide all the offense on a day where the gap between leagues was clearly delineated. Man of the Match: Thiago   Wrexham 3-0 Bolton  He's so great.  It wouldn't be the same if it were anyone else.  United crunched Chelsea in Manchester, and will play Juventus in the other semifinal. I get the feeling that we're fated to meet in the finals.  He's got 19 Acceleration and 16 Pace to go along with 13 Dribbling. Any offensive player trying to stop him from going forward is going to get blown out of their boots.  Not as badly as anyone trying to stop Loseille, though. 19 Acceleration and 18 Pace to go with 14 Dribbling. This dude is a better winger than most actual wingers. At Huddersfield Town, April 18, 2026 Premier League  We're flying high, and up against a club that was pegged for relegation but which has instead held steady in the top half for nearly the whole season. I send out the vivace, Huddersfield has had a good defense and I want to make sure to grab a goal early. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Hammatt, Enrique, Mercado, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Tounkara, Loseille, Ünsal, Allan, Parr. We get that early goal, as Stringel scores in the third minute. On that same play, though, Hammatt is injured and forced out of the match. The early subsitution throws off our rhythm for the remainder of the game. Our attacks repeatedly break down in the final third, and we're stymied in our efforts to pad the lead. Hammatt's absence is noted when Huddersfield equalize in the 73rd minute from a corner that our two meter tall centerback could have certainly cleared had he been in the game. The draw costs us a chunk of our cushion over Man U, we remain three points ahead of them with five games to play.   Huddersfield 1-1 Wrexham  That could have been a lot worse, though it was bad enough as is considering we dropped points after he was taken out of the match.  I will not stop pushing his awards case until the world properly takes notice of the greatest scorer in a decade. vs Bayern Munich, April 21, 2026 Champions League, Semifinal Home Tie  The biggest team in Germany is back after a down year saw them lose the Bundesliga to Leverkusen. Bayern features a number of excellent players, from Wrexham alums Patrice Morvan and Piero Argenti to superstar striker Niklas Duhnke, to longtime object of my desire Rodrigo Jiminez. We need a solid win here, and a clean sheet is a must. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Laux, Loseille, Shirra, Ünsal, Mercado, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Enrique, Maloney, Bailey, Allan, Parr. Bayern is bossed around like it's no thing. The Munich club didn't come to play, looking more like Bolton than Huddersfield as we maraud on their half of the pitch for the entire match. A Thiago and Stringel quickfire double in the first half gives us a commanding lead, and we end up with a three goal victory heading into the away leg when Meteor confounds the keeper in the 76th minute. Man of the Match: Meteor Mujkic   Wrexham 3-0 Bayern  Thiago's up to 12 goals scored in the Champions League. That's some way's off Cristiano Ronaldo's record of 17 in a single campaign, but it's still good enough to put him three up on second place Isaac Stringel and five ahead of third place Rocky Bastable.  This is actually good news. Laux will miss the trip to Berlin, but now we don't have to worry about the rock of our defense missing the final because of accumulated yellow cards.  Not long now until the World Cup. With the end of the year shaping up like it is we're going to have a wild May and June.  I want Justin Bailey to make that team. This is really his last chance to make an impact for his nation, he's 31 now and might have retired before the next World Cup rolls around.  I wonder how Thiago's chant goes? “Thiago, Thiago, Thiago! You are the best ever bro! Defenders look like they're in Slo-Mo! When facing mighty mighty Thiago!” Probably better than that. Hopefully. vs Southampton, April 23, 2026 Premier League  The steady march of games has caused me to stock our bench with rookies, though our starting lineup is largely unchanged from the normal cast of characters. Southampton are yet another solid midtable club, in 12th place as this match kicks off. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Laux, Enrique, Maloney, Bailey, Parr, Allan, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Spyropoulos, Zouaghi, Bouzid, Blyth, Hayes. Shahed Parr and Thiago do work, and we're cruising to a comfortable win as the game winds down. Then things get techy when Southampton scrap their way back into the contest with an 82nd minute goal. The ref hands out three yellow cards, two of them in stoppage time, as we slog through the final minutes of a match that Souton had no business being in. Man of the Match: Mateo Mujkic   Wrexham 2-1 Southampton  So much for being on a cold streak. Since I mentioned that he'd found net in just one of five matches Thiago has scored seven in his last six games and is back to his standard metronomic perfection.  This is their first relegation since coming up in 2007-2008 and comes a year after they finished 6th. Stoke can look forward to the Europa League next year, though, and winning the League Cup is a laudable achievement for any non-megabastard club. Heck, we've only won it once ourselves and we're looking mighty bastard-ish these days.  Barring a disaster in Munich we're going to be playing for our second European Cup a week after we play for our second FA Cup. We've also got a three point lead over United in the league with only four games left to play; given our goal differential advantage we'll claim our third league title in four years by taking care of business against Burnley, West Ham, and West Brom. 
habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 22:17 on Jan 14, 2015 |
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Jan 14, 2015 14:09
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Chapter the Eleventh: Restoration. April 24, 2016-May 13, 2026 If we win three out of our four matches, we win the title. If we don't get annihilated in Munich by a 4-0 score, we're going to the Champions League final. I've never been this close to the triple, and I can taste it.  My focus on the triple doesn't prevent me from signing more kids, though. If I were to get hit by a truck Wrexham would still be a juggernaut for years to come thanks to the waves of prospects that will arrive over the next decade. vs Burnley, April 25, 2026 Premier League  Burnley shocked Manchester United with a nil-nil draw a month ago, but that was at home. They have to travel to Wales for this match, and that bodes poorly for those hoping to see another shock result. Youngster Kamel Zouaghi is getting his first league start for the senior team, the seventeen-year-old is already rated as a 1.5 star player for us. He'd be a starter on more than half of Premier League clubs. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Laux, Loseille, Zouaghi, Ünsal (c), Parr, Shirra, Mercado, Stringel. Subs: Cirjak, Spyropoulos, Bale, Alvir, Bouzid, Thiago We have things well in hand thanks to a Stringel goal after five minutes and a Golden Boy boot after twenty more, but then Burnley's captain, centerback Peter Duguid, is sent off for a two footed tackle of Shirra. We only get to three-nil before the break, another Golden Boy goal, but Burnley are dead men walking. The second half sees us score four more goals, including one from teenager Jose Andres Alvir in his senior team debut, as we put the hurting on undermanned and overmatched Burnley. The rout is capped by two goals in the final fifteen minutes from Stringel, securing his hat trick. Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Wrexham 7-0 Burnley At Bayern Munich, April 29, 2026 Champions League, Semifinal Away Tie  If we score a goal Munich will need to win 5-1 in order to advance. To say that they're in a tight spot is to understate their peril. I plan on getting that goal, and I plan on playing the same type of soccer we used to rough them up in Wales. Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Cirjak, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Maloney, Ünsal, Mercado, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Reed, Tounkara, Enrique, Bailey, Allan, Parr. We get that away goal in the 38th minute from Isaac Stringel, and Bayern is looking hapless in front of their home crowd. They do manage to hurt Sinan Ünsal moments before halftime, but right after the break Stringel is back at it. Bayern would need to score six goals in forty minutes to rain on our parade, and can only manage an 80th minute strike in a physical match where our players pick up four yellow cards. None of them risk suspension for the final. We're now set to face Manchester United, who coolly disposed of Juventus in the other semi. Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Bayern (1) 1-2 (5) Wrexham  This is some bad news. Ünsal hasn't been the superstar I'd been expecting when we splurged nine-figures for him, but losing him for the rest of the season depletes our depth and means that we're in trouble if Shirra also gets hurt.  I wouldn't have it any other way. (That's a lie, I'd rather have faced an easier opponent in Juventus)  Thiago, and the rest of our players, aren't getting anywhere near enough respect. Collecott won't even be in the running for his own nation's awards, he certainly shouldn't be winning Best Player in Europe.  Reed's quite self-assured at the age of 23. At West Ham United, May 2, 2026 Premier League  Dinko Mejasic, our former left back, has had a good little career after leaving us in 2022. He returned to the Premier League this season after a three year stint with Gladbach in the Bundesliga where by all accounts he was one of the better fullbacks in the league. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Loseille, Enrique, Parr, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Maloney, Bailey, Allan, Mercado. Thiago wastes no time, picking up his 38th league goal of the season in the third minute after he blows by two markers to get to a Shirra through ball. Dinko Mejasic reminds me of why I sold him by getting carded on the half hour, and then Meteor takes us to intermission with a deft finish off of a Thiago indirect free kick. The score stays steady until the final ten minutes of the match, when a knackered West Ham defense finally breaks down and allows goals by Reed and Allan to give us the final margin of victory. Man of the Match: Steve Reed   West Ham 0-4 Wrexham  Penn is an excellent, canny defensive midfielder and right back who caused us fits in the last Champions League final by always making the crucial interception. He's also their captain, and so they won't have his leadership to buck them up on the pitch. This injury might be the end of his storied career, he's shredded his ACL, MCL, and LCL and is on the shelf until at least early 2027... and that's not something a 33-year-old can come back from easily.   Injuries cut both ways, though, as Loseille has already become one of our best players at the tender age of 21. He might be back for the Champions League final if we're lucky, but he'll miss the FA Cup final for sure.   There's not much excitement at the bottom of the table in the final week, with all three relegation victims locked in. Watford had spent over a decade in the Premier League, finishing as high as 9th before succumbing to the undertow. QPR continues it's rollercoaster ride, this marks the fifth time they've been relegated from the top division since 2013.  QPR and Watford may want to look over this list and see if they want to take any of these players on for the next season, none did so well that I'll be looking to give them time with the senior team. vs West Bromwich Albion, May 5, 2026 Premier League  A win clinches the league title. While we're only three points up on United, we've got a +87 goal differential and a game to play while United are way back at +65 with two games remaining- we could lose our final match this match 7-0 and they could win both their matches 7-0 and we'd still finish ahead of them. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Enrique, Maloney, Mercado, Mujkic (c), Allan, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Quiboulaz, Laux, Bailey, Shirra, Parr. We're up after West Brom mauls Callum Allan in the box and Matias Mercado puts away the penalty. Allan stakes us out to a two goal lead when he gets a chance to work unmolested ten minutes later. Things get a bit dicey at the opening of the second half when our young left back Enrique is given a bogus red card for a professional foul, but the Baggies get a (more deserved) red card twenty minutes later, and we're back to even strength. The final goal comes on a free kick from Thiago, he's been a monster on free kicks this season and this one is no less spectacular than his others. It's a cherry on the cap of a banner day for our supporters, who see us reclaim the league title after the vicissitude of the prior year. Man of the Match: Callum Allan   Wrexham 3-0 West Brom  It's hard to win an appeal, even when warranted, but we'll certainly try.  Do you know how hard it is to find four-and-a-half star goalkeeping coaches? Fine. Enjoy your retirement waffles.  In the midst of all the excitement at the club, the World Cup continues to creep nearer.  Well how about that. I've never had a suspension rescinded before.  I'm not sure why I had Tounkara learn this... he's a centerback. He's blazing fast, but he shouldn't be trying to beat defenders in the first place.  That makes two United starters down. Bennett is one of their starting centerbacks, along with Cyril Boumsong.  I'm never going to sign him, am I?  At least this means we're no longer paying part of his salary, right?  Oh come on!  All in good time. I'm sure the Portuguese can't wait to have a flood of English and Welsh show up on their doorstep, and there's no reason to make them suffer our presence for two weeks when we've got an FA Cup final in six days.  Yes, that would be a good way to thank the fans. And it would please me quite a bit, seeing as we're playing Bruno...  There it is, right on time and as expected. At Chelsea, May 10, 2026 Premier League  This is just for fun, and for screwing over Bruno Santos. A win for Chelsea would seal fourth place and the final Champions League spot over Manchester City. A loss and a City win puts Chelsea in fifth place and piles ignominy upon Santos that he shall never live down. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Quiboulaz, Laux, Enrique, Maloney, Parr, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Tounkara, Hammatt, Bailey, Allan, Mercado. We're very good at scoring goals in the first twenty minutes of a match, and this game is no different. This time it's Meteor, streaking in from out wide to nip the ball away from Chelsea's centerback at the edge of the box and finding paydirt in the seventeenth minute. At halftime we're still up by a goal, while City have opened up a two goal lead over Southampton. If the season ended now, Chelsea would be stuck in the Europa League after their fourth straight fifth place finish. I'm sure that's the message that Bruno Santos hammered into the heads of his players over the break, but it sure didn't work. A Mujkic to Thiago connection makes it two-nil in the 47th minute, and before the Stamford Bridge crowd can realize that their dreams of Champions League qualification were slipping away Shirra unleashes Stringel with the most stylish back heel, 360 degree pass I've ever seen. Stringel cheekily lobs the keeper, and we've put paid to the Champions League dreams of one Bruno Santos. Man of the Match: Mateo Mujkic   Chelsea 0-3 Wrexham   Boo-yah.  This feels so much better than the end of last season.  Don't worry, I've already been planning for the FA Cup final.  Hall of Fame, you say?  I'm comin' for you, Shankley! I'm sure the Englishmen love that only three Englishmen are in the top ten, especially compared to five Scots.   And that's how we stay profitable.  That's more like it.  I really can't complain about this going to Meteor, who was brilliant down the stretch for us.  No podium sweep this year. I should look into that Neil Darby kid on Everton. He's a very impressive 22-year-old striker.  Minami has been everything I could have hoped for, no one was even close to him when it came to number of clean sheets.  It honestly didn't seem that impressive, but I won't turn down an award.  Neither will Thiago.   He outscored four teams on his lonesome. Those are video game numbers, and I realize just how silly that sounds.  The awards finally boost Thiago's reputation enough to make him one of the 50 or so players with a worldwide following. Hopefully this means he stops getting overlooked for World Player of the Year and the Ballon d'Or.  That's still fewer than we deserved, Tounkara and Parr both have reason to feel snubbed while Shirra and Quiboulaz both had good arguments to make the second team.  I'll feel as if I've earned this if and only if we complete the triple. I'm not done yet.  We set a lot of team records this season. A record high in points (98). A record high in league goals (111). A record best defense (21 conceded). A record goal differential (+90). A record number of clean sheets (24 of 38 matches). Most importantly, we've taken back what's ours. We've taken back the throne. Now all that is left is to reclaim our other trophies, and win the Triple. 
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Jan 14, 2015 16:33
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And now the LP has caught up to where I was ingame on October 24, 2014! Well, not quite, there's 8-10 more screenshots, mostly regarding the US National Team, that I've put off until next update, but it feels good to be back in the present. I haven't played either final yet, the ingame clock is May 15, 2026. Not sure the best way to do them, I'd been planning liveblogs/streaming way back in October when I was updating regularly and had a larger regular readership but I doubt that would draw the same number of viewers now.
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Jan 14, 2015 16:38
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Nice work. That goal differential is out of control. How fitting to play Man U back to back for the last two titles!
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Jan 14, 2015 16:51
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I usually can't make live events anyway, but I liked reading the very full match reports you've done previously.
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Jan 14, 2015 17:06
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So, so glad this is back in action! If Wrexham make the Triple I'll probably cream myself for days. I actually had a recurring dream about us winning the FA Cup when I was like 12, and it's kinda amusing to me that this LP is probably the closest we're ever gonna get to that in my lifetime.
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Jan 14, 2015 17:59
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The live events were pretty good, and it's not like you can't read them completely after the fact.
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Jan 14, 2015 19:09
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I think the last live event had its charm with the broken satellite TV-esque presentation.
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Jan 14, 2015 19:21
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Now to buy another fantastic striker who's 22-25 years old, and sell Thiago to some megabastard for 150 million quid! He's 28, it's only downhill from here!
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Jan 14, 2015 19:26
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Amhazair, Brony Hunter, and Dreamsicle all tied for the yearly prediction contest, which is something that I did not predict happening! They were each off by a mere 52 aggregate places when figuring out the table. I've decided that the tiebreaker should be most teams picked in exactly the right spot. Brony Hunter picked only QPR and Man City to finish as they did (he did well by not getting killed when Huddersfield finished in the top half and Stoke finished last). He's out. Dreamsicle picked Wrexham, Man U, Man City, Leeds, Reading, and QPR to finish in their respective positions. Amhazair picked Wrexham, Man U, Man City, Everton, Reading, Burnley, and QPR to finish in their respective positions. Congratulations Amhazair! You may collect your boon at your leisure. Fun facts, no one picked Arsenal to finish third or Chelsea to finish fifth. And just about everyone had Stoke at least 10 spots too high and Huddersfield at least 10 spots too low. The least accurate contestant was Revenant Threshold, burdened by his choice of Arsenal to finish last. habeasdorkus fucked around with this message at 21:52 on Jan 14, 2015 |
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Jan 14, 2015 21:49
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Chapter the Twelfth: All about that trebel. May 15, 2026-May 24, 2016 There's two games left on the club schedule. We shall either be proved paper tigers or all conquering titans of the pitch when they end.  Oh, that will not do at all. Plans must be put into motion.  Seven of these players will get cut before the end of the month, and one player will be helping me on a secret mission...  Paredes isn't making the cut, I just want him to get experience and know I think of him as a future star. .png) I like his youthful enthusiasm. I hope he doesn't sprain anything trying to prove himself-  So much for getting on the field experience.  Padilla has been awful at every turn, but my scouts still think he's one of our best players and I can't afford to throw him overboard unless he really is useless.  I'm writing them each a note telling their national team coaches that they can't come to camp until after the Champions League final.  Hands off, your season might be over but I've still got games to play!  That doesn't keep me from noticing that there's trouble in paradise for Everton's excellent young attacker Neil Darby.  I guess it's good to retire on a high note after finishing top half with a club that everyone figured was relegation bait. Really, he deserved Manager of the Year more than I did.  It's go time. vs Manchester United, May 16, 2026 FA Cup, Final  I'm sliding Quiboulaz over to fullback in this game as Loseille's hamstring isn't healed. I could play Enrique there, but I trust Johnny Quibz more than a teenager. Likewise, while David Maloney has played well for us I'm not giving him the start as our water-carrier in the midfield. Instead Laux will play that role, while Hammatt and Tounkara act as our back two. Otherwise, things are more or less normal, with Thiago up top and supported by Mujkic, Stringel, and Parr. Manchester United remain a formidable opponent even absent two of their best defenders. Fabian Duval might be getting old and slow, but he's still got a Marking rating of 20. Meanwhile the loss of Gus Penn leaves them loading up on offense by playing budding star Kurt Mawéné as the defensive midfielder, a role that he's not fully grown into yet but one that makes them even more dangerous on the attack. For some reason they're not playing Kovacevic in goal, and several of their best players such as Steve Collecott, left fullback Ovidiu Vlādoi, and attacking midfielder Zak Tate are all on the bench to start the match. Are they really that confident? Starting Formation: 4-2-3-1 Control Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Hammatt, Quiboulaz, Laux, Shirra, Parr, Stringel, Mujkic (c), Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Enrique, Maloney, Bailey, Allan, Mercado. 3m: Meteor strikes! Laux fights off several red shirts to get the ball to Shirra just over the midfield line. Shirra picks up his head and sees Mujkic one on one with his defender and six United players clustered in the midfield. His pass to Mujkic is accurate, and then the Meteor streaks down the pitch and fires off a rocket that hits the keepers hands and deflects into the net. Vid Kovacevic would never have let that happen. Wrexham 1-0 Man United 5m: A chance from a corner goes begging when the ball hits Tounkara's hand. 6m: Reed makes a great interception but after a long run to the byline wastes his effort with a poor cross. We're taking it to United early, and they could easily fall two behind when Parr gets the ball to Stringel with a look at the goal, but the shot goes just wide. 9m: Hammatt roams too far forward with the ball, and is dispossessed at midfield by Mawéné. United's fast break comes to nothing as their right winger waits too long to make the final pass. 12m: We get a free kick in a dangerous area near the corner flag after Boumsong slides in on Mujkic, but we scuff our effort. The same thing happens to United a few minutes later on a free kick Reed conceded. 15m: After fifteen minutes of unimpeded movement, United's defense is stiffening up. They have a shot whistle just over the bar on a counter. 17m: Manchester's Duval makes a horrible clearance under pressure to give us a corner kick, but we can't make anything of it. That's not surprising, we only scored four goals all season from corners. 19m: We're catching United repeatedly with our offside trap, that's now four times in the last five minutes that they've been flagged offside on a counter attempt. 21m: Parr has a moment of daylight after Tounkara plays a brilliant ball 30 yards upfield, but he can't do anything with it before he's smothered. 26m: Mujkic makes a run from midfield, drawing two defenders, and flips the ball between them for an open Stringel. String takes it from there and into the box, drawing another two defenders, then cuts it back expertly to the exquisitely timed following run by Thiago, who has all day and the entire net. Goooooooal! Wrexham 2-0 Man United 30m: Laux is absolutely bossing the midfield, making tons of interceptions and getting into passing lanes constantly. 32m: We should have a third goal. Steve Reed's stutter step confounds two defenders, allowing him to slides a pass to a wide open Parr in front of the net. The refs must have been confused by Reed as well, rule the goal offside despite Parr clearly being onside as seen below:  35m: Huge save by Minami when three of our defenders can't clear the ball from in front of the net and striker Jeff Wright gets a clean crack at it from 12 yards out. 37m: Thiago can't beat the keeper to a Reed cross, and it's still 2-0. He's not denied seconds later on a free kick, though, lacing a perfectly struck ball that rises over the wall of defenders and dips into the far corner of the goal. Wrexham 3-0 Man United 39m: Oh look, it's raining now. 42m: Dramane Tounkara has been the man in the air all first half, he's not missed a single header and is regularly cutting out passes that are intended for streaking United attackers. 45m: The final minutes of the half see the first sustained pressure by Manchester United, we've had a remarkably easy time of things and they've had only one good chance to score. 45m+1: Manchester's right back finally picks up a card after what seems like the 10th time that he's knocked Mujkic down. The ref is most definitely “letting the boys play.” Halftime: McLeod goes to his bench, bringing on Ovidiu Vlādoi after watching the previous left back get torched repeatedly by Reed and Parr. 46m: Thiago has a chance 17 seconds into the half, but hits it right at the keeper. 48m: Reed's denied by the post! 55m: The first 10 minutes of the second half seem much like the first half, with the run of play firmly in our favor. 56m: Stars Zak Tate and Steve Collecott are finally subbed on at 56m, this match isn't over yet despite our three goal advantage. 59m: Parr picks up his usual ding in a collision with Manchester captain Cristobal Marchan, and Marchan earns a card for his trouble. 60m: We have a second goal called back for phantom offside, and I'm at the edge of the technical box screaming latin profanity at the idiot side judge. Mujkic is #11 at the bottom of the screen, and he's the one ruled offside. Thiago is onside.  64m: Tounkara is having a great game, rewarding my trust with key tackle after key tackle. 65m: I sub “Super” Mercado on for Parr, who I want healthy for our Champions League final. 67m: We nearly score again when Johnny Quibz of all people takes a shot in the aftermath of a corner, but his effort is saved. 70m: Tate and Collecott creating some more threatening counters, but time is running out on them and Manchester. 73m: Calm, patient recycling of possession after a corner kick means that Laux is able to find Mercado wide open in the box, and we're up 4-0 with 17 minutes to play. Wrexham 4-0 Man United 75m: United can't replicate our feat of two minutes earlier, and Duval's effort is skyed harmlessly over the crossbar. 78m: Tate makes a great run but Minami comes off his line to stonewall him, he's earning every penny of his gigantic salary. 79m: The game has opened up a bit as the Red Devils get more and more desperate. Shirra's able to exploit the open space in their defense and his hustle creates a chance that's saved. 80m: United are piling on the pressure with 10 minutes left, but it's too little too late. Right? 83m: Mercado is denied a brace on a counter opportunity, but the Manchester keeper can only bat it out for a corner. Thiago grabs his hat trick on the ensuing set piece! Wrexham 5-0 Man United 85mL Tounkara carded for what seemed like a bog standard foul. Hammatt also carded for the same reason moments later. 88m: The fight's gone out of Manchester as the game winds down. We look more likely to score at this point. 90m: 1 minute of stoppage time. 90+1: And the fat lady is singing! We've won the FA Cup in astounding fashion! Man of the Match: Thiago   Wrexham 5-0 Man United   Darn tootin'. Two down, one to go.  Grwn has become a minor media magnate in Wales with the exponential growth of DragonzLair PLC. He's the Bill Simmons of Wales.   It seems we've gotten too big for cup wins to help our finances.  Talk about being a taskmaster. I've given the players three days off so they're fit for the Champions League Final. They can spend one day being happy about winning the FA Cup and sleeping off the champagne.  Grim news on the World Cup front. Ramirez has quickly developed into one of the better young American players, but he can't stay healthy. This is a blow to our chances.  That's some way off the real record of 19, set waaaaay back during the 1887-1888 FA Cup. It's also only as many goals as Ted MacDougall scored for Bornemouth in a single game in 1971.  They've just confirmed that they're getting relegated next season.   Between Reed and Loseille, we're going to be spending a lot more on our fullbacks next season. Both of them are due new contracts, and both of them are due major raises.  Manchester United get their revenge! Of course our youth side was playing theirs. It seems like they're our only competition these days.  When you've got Dribbling 20, Acceleration 18, Pace 18, Agility 17, and Balance 17, you should show the world what a wizard you are with the ball at your feet. Stop passing and style on some fools.  Just in time. vs Manchester United, May 23, 2026 Champions League, Final  It's hard to beat a team twice in a row. That goes double for when you're throwing the same look at them both games. It's why I'm starting us in the 4-4-2 diamond, I want the tactical edge over McLeod's lads. Once again Matthias Laux will be playing the midfield destroyer role, and once again Dramane Tounkara is getting the start at centerback. James Loseille's return leaves him not fully fit, but I'm willing to sub him out after sixty minutes to add some explosiveness in attack. The one concern I have is leaving Hammatt out of the starting lineup, it could cause us trouble on set pieces as our tallest players will be 6'2” Tounkara and Laux. Manchester has learned from it's error in the FA Cup, I'm still not sure why they put out such a weakened lineup in an important match, and their offense should be much more potent with 90 minutes of Gregorio, Tate, and Collecott. Ian Lyth replaces Fabian Duval at centerback, he's slightly quicker but much more of a defensive liability. Starting Formation: 4-4-2 Vivace Starting 11: Minami, Reed, Tounkara, Quiboulaz, Loseille, Laux, Parr, Mujkic (c), Shirra, Stringel, Thiago. Subs: Kocsis, Cirjak, Hammatt, Enrique, Bailey, Allan, Mercado. 1m: After a minute it's clear that United are more comfortable in possession than they were a week ago. 3m: Shirra puts a good chance wide. I hope it doesn't loom large when all is said and done. 8m: Parr is harshly wiped out in the box, but no penalty call. He staggers to his feet, and doesn't look close to 100%. 9m: Loseille gets carded, this ref is much less lenient than the FA Cup one. 15m: Both sides are playing a good old fashioned English game, combined we've been whistled for nine fouls in the opening quarter hour. 16m: Nothing doing on back to back corners, and Stringel puts a shot wide of the net to end our offensive foray. 18m: Slick passing leaves our defenders rooted on the spot and gets Collecott behind our defense, but he puts the chance into the side netting. 20m: United are starving us of possession, and we're losing the ball too quickly when we win it back. This feels like the opposite of all our games. 22m: Laux gets carded, and I'm officially convinced this ref is being a dick. Minutes later Parr draws a card, as the ref is being an equal opportunity dick. 33m: Parr puts a Mujkic cross just wide of the net. Mercado wouldn't have missed that. 35m: More chances, but we only head the ball directly at Kovacevic. When they don't go right at our former keeper it's Thiago clipping the post and sending the ball it goes harmlessly wide. 36m: Collecott makes a slashing run and gets behind our defense for a second time, this time he forces Minami to make a very good save to keep the game scoreless. 40m: This is proving a much more difficult match than the FA Cup final. 41m: Shirra streaks in on a counter after a Mujkic through ball, but is a step too slow as Kovacevic gets to it first and boots the orb somewhere into orbit. 44m: We've been sloppy all first half, and we're very lucky it hasn't bitten us in the rear end yet. We're trying far too many long passes, and it's costing us possession. 45m: Parr sends a shot wide after fine work by Shirra to create the chance. Still nothing-nothing. 45m+1: We spend the final minutes of the first half wasting good creative work by taking off balance and rushed shots. Haltime: We're playing like crap, and I tell the players that. Luckily, Manchester haven't been much better, using one of their subs at the half to replace ineffective left winger Maxym Fenin with Steve Wilmot. 46m: We win a corner in the first minute, and our passing seems more precise than our over-eager first half efforts. 48m: After three minutes I can confirm that our attacking movements are crisper, but we're still not scoring. 50m: Once again Kovacevic picks up the ball with Shirra just a step too far away. 53m: We've had 11 corners and scored on exactly none of them. This is starting to get frustrating. 56m: Our newfound crispness finally pays off when Stringel slips his marker and is able to take it all the way to the house after an on point pass by Parr. It helps that Cyril Boumsong came up lame when he attempted to chase down String, and was unable to attempt a last ditch tackle at the top of the penalty area. 1-0! Wrexham 1-0 Man United 56m: Of course this came immediately after I chose to substitute Mercado for Parr, Parr comes off immediately after having earned an assist. 63m: Each side trades efforts back and forth, all of which float harmlessly to either side of the goal. 68m: It's time to stop pressing the attack so hard, and focus on not screwing up our lead. We're moving to a more balanced setup, and the players are told to stop pushing the tempo. Laux is happy, he's had to run a million miles today as our water-carrier. 71m: It's also time to pull Loseille, who's gassed, and bring on Hammatt. Johnny Quibz slides to the left back position, and told to mind his defensive duties. 72m: Thiago gets his head on a Mujkic cross, but he can't direct it downward and it zooms over the net. 77m: I switch to the 4-2-3-1 and set out to control possession over the last 15 minutes. This is either very smart or will lead to the equalizer in short order. 78m: An excellent flowing move goes for naught as Mercado can't get his shot on target. 82m: Minami makes a crucial stop on a point blank Cristobal Marchan effort where Reed was wildly out of position. 83m: My heart is still receding from my throat after Minami's save. 84m: Wilmot hacks Quiboulaz down and gets carded. We dilly dally over our free kick. 85m: Thiago whistles another ball over the crossbar on our 14th corner kick of the match. 88m: Zak Tate slips through our defensive line and into the box, but Reed and Tounkara recover in time to prevent a shot and usher him away from the goalmouth. 90m: 3 minutes of stoppage time. It's going to feel like an eternity. 90+1: Mujkic puts it in the six yard box, but Thiago shoots it straight at Kovacevic. 90+3: Thiago lines up a free kick from 35 yards out. It bounces off Kovacevic and the post, rolling right in front of the net as Kovacevic lies sprawled far to far away to reach it. Stringel beats towards it and no one can stop him from tapping it across the line and stabbing a dagger into the heart of United fans around the world! Wrexham 2-0 Man United 90+4: The whistle blows seconds after the match restarts! We are champions of Europe once more! Man of the Match: Isaac Stringel   Wrexham 2-0 Man United   Seven clubs have won their top national cup, their league, and the European Cup or Champions League in the same season. Celtic in 1967. Ajax in 1972. PSV in 1988. Manchester United in 1999. Barcelona in 2009. Internazionale in 2010. Bayern Munich in 2013. PSG is the eighth member of this group, joining in 2018. Now we are the ninth. We have accomplished something the greatest clubs in history have never done. Real Madrid may have their tenth Champions League trophy, La Decima, but they've never won this trebel. We have.  drat right I'm the one responsible for our success.  Now you're happy. And my job security is back to where it should be... I'm untouchable. My contract ends after next season, I'll be in contact with my opening offer for an extension shortly.   Our wage budget these days is too high for our winnings to offset the squad bonuses. I don't think anyone will be complaining.  I'm only 15th in the world Hall of Fame, for the moment, but the FA Cup victory moves me up above Bill Shankly in the England Hall. I told you I was coming for you, Shankly!  We just won the triple. How much more could you want?  You've been with us for seven years now. Steve Reed may be starting most games these days, but I promise you'll have your time on the pitch, and share in the glory to come.  Yeah, that's a nice note to end on.  We're at the mountaintop. Enjoy it, because it'll never be as good as this again. Now the work of ensuring our legacy truly begins. 
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Jan 14, 2015 23:20
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Scott Brown right now:
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Jan 14, 2015 23:29
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This thread needs a Thierry Henry nodding .gif
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Jan 15, 2015 00:04
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Dreamsicle posted:Scott Brown right now: You should add a couple more belts and a dozen or so more wrestlers and it's a bit more accurate. All Hail Scott Brown, The God-King of Wales!
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Jan 15, 2015 00:27
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KDavisJr posted:You should add a couple more belts and a dozen or so more wrestlers and it's a bit more accurate. 
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Jan 15, 2015 00:35
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Victoria et Ultio!
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Jan 15, 2015 00:41
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Wonderful, Habeas. Superb performance! What a finish to the season -- and what a start to the (real) year!
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Jan 15, 2015 01:26
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habeasdorkus posted:
"THEEE - IIAAAA- GOOOOOOO THIAGO! THEEE - IIAAAA - GOOOOOOO THIAGO!"
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Jan 15, 2015 01:40
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Incredible.
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Jan 15, 2015 01:47
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T-H-I, A-G-O Thiago, go go go Didn't know him now you do he just made a fool of you Thiaaagoooo Then probably a verse rhyming Thiago with Goal somehow... Anyways, holy poo poo this team just destroyed everyone towards the end there. That last match with Man U was close for comfort, but still, shutting them out twice? Good lord.
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Jan 15, 2015 01:50
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habeasdorkus posted:Amhazair, Brony Hunter, and Dreamsicle all tied for the yearly prediction contest, which is something that I did not predict happening! They were each off by a mere 52 aggregate places when figuring out the table. I've decided that the tiebreaker should be most teams picked in exactly the right spot. I should have known better than to put my support behind Mississippi State when I did. A fool was I.
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Jan 15, 2015 02:57
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The Dragons are back on top where they belong! 
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Jan 15, 2015 07:39
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| # ? Jun 4, 2024 07:00 |
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Thiago is Italian, so you have to put Magnifico or Bravissimo someone on there.
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Jan 15, 2015 10:18
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