More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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Kwilty: May 31, 2011

fromoutofnowhere posted:

I had this "issue" as well, but when they started chucking the paper in, they started stuffing a full ream in, and then some. So now I get to tell people to not put in more than a full ream as I'm yanking bits of hot paper out of a printer.

oh oh, I got told to do an inventory on our systems here to find out how many systems are under 8 gigs of ram. So I figure I get to play around with this new fangled spiceworks that our admin put up a couple of weeks ago and see if I can finish the project with lots of time left over. NOPE, spiceworks can only see half the f'n network. Now I'm using powershell to pull the information and I only know how to get it done one system at a time. ugh.

Spiceworks was nearly a trap at my company. Luckily I shut that down real quick because of the network as well.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 20:58

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# ? May 17, 2024 04:09

Sickening: Jul 16, 2007; Black summer was the best summer.

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

Just download PDQ Inventory.

And make sure your windows firewall settings are controlled by group policy with the proper ports unblocked.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 21:02

fromoutofnowhere: Mar 19, 2004; Enjoy it while you can.

EAT THE EGGS RICOLA posted:

Just download PDQ Inventory.

Thanks!, I'll ask for permission tomorrow when the Sr. is here.

Kwilty posted:

Spiceworks was nearly a trap at my company. Luckily I shut that down real quick because of the network as well.

How so? We're looking at it right now trying to determine if we want to keep it or not. What was it that turned you off of it?

Sickening posted:

And make sure your windows firewall settings are controlled by group policy with the proper ports unblocked.

Thanks!

# ? Jan 14, 2015 21:09

Sweevo: Nov 8, 2007; i sometimes throw cables away

i mean straight into the bin without spending 10+ years in the box of might-come-in-handy-someday first

im a fucking monster

Collateral Damage posted:

Pet peeve here: Users at my work put paper in the printers themselves.. But they never put in more than half of the ream, then leave the other half laying around. I've tried telling them that the magazine is designed to take exactly one full ream, but they just go durr, but it looks like it won't fit.

The real reason is that they don't want to have to throw the empty packet away, so they leave it half full and just dump it near the printer rather than walk 2 feet to a bin.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 21:21

Kwilty: May 31, 2011

fromoutofnowhere posted:

How so? We're looking at it right now trying to determine if we want to keep it or not. What was it that turned you off of it?

I'm not sure if it was happening in everyone else's environment, but we were having a real time getting it to recognize all the computers on the network without having to go around to every computer anyway. If you just need a ticketing system they seem to have a good system for that, but setting up the audit stuff just became such a pain we stuck to doing it manually.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 21:53

Roargasm: Oct 21, 2010; Hate to sound sleazy
But tease me
I don't want it if it's that easy

fromoutofnowhere posted:

Now I'm using powershell to pull the information and I only know how to get it done one system at a time. ugh.

Invoke-Command -command {$wmi_query} -computerName (Get-ADComputer -filter * -searchBase "ou=$your,dc=$pool" | Select-Object -expand Name)

"Invoke-Command -computerName" only accepts strings, Get-ADComputer only returns objects, so you have to use the -expand parameter in Select-Object to return a computer name as a string to your query. Common gotcha that I'm going to assume is your problem

# ? Jan 14, 2015 21:58

Belial42: Feb 28, 2007; The Sleeper must awaken...with a damn fine can of Georgia coffee.

Sickening posted:

And make sure your windows firewall settings are controlled by group policy with the proper ports unblocked.

Make sure you're aging and/or scavenging DNS records and removing old disabled computer objects from AD.

PDQ Inventory doesn't work so well when you're storing seven+ years of DNS records and 5+ years of computer objects. Sometimes I hate my company.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 22:32

fromoutofnowhere: Mar 19, 2004; Enjoy it while you can.

Roargasm posted:

Invoke-Command -command {$wmi_query} -computerName (Get-ADComputer -filter * -searchBase "ou=$your,dc=$pool" | Select-Object -expand Name)

"Invoke-Command -computerName" only accepts strings, Get-ADComputer only returns objects, so you have to use the -expand parameter in Select-Object to return a computer name as a string to your query. Common gotcha that I'm going to assume is your problem

Huh, I'm using

code:

Get-WmiObject win32_physicalmemory -computername \\insert computername here\\ | select devicelocator, capacity, speed | sort devicelocator | ft -auto

Belial42 posted:

Make sure you're aging and/or scavenging DNS records and removing old disabled computer objects from AD.

PDQ Inventory doesn't work so well when you're storing seven+ years of DNS records and 5+ years of computer objects. Sometimes I hate my company.

We're working on clearing out an old domain and moving everything over to a new one. The old one has been locked down, but we're finding out that we've moved over inactive accounts/computers. so part of this will probably be a discovery of those systems so we can work on clearing them all out finally.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 22:40

Inspector_666: Oct 7, 2003; _{benny with the good hair}

fromoutofnowhere posted:

Huh, I'm using

code:

Get-WmiObject win32_physicalmemory -computername \\insert computername here\\ | select devicelocator, capacity, speed | sort devicelocator | ft -auto

Yeah, you can definitely speed that up by hitting a list of computers. I was going to suggest making a CSV, but Roar's idea is less work.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 22:50

thebigcow: Jan 3, 2001; Bully!

Our Toshiba MFP holds 550 sheets per tray and doesn't complain about low paper until you get below 50.

My problem is people somehow sending to the bypass tray, opening a ream or pulling a bunch out of the tray for that and then leaving that sit.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 23:02

Thanks Ants: May 21, 2004; #essereFerrari

An email went round at work today asking us to join the company Facebook and LinkedIn pages.

What do you know? Turns out I don't have any social network accounts.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 23:03

Roargasm: Oct 21, 2010; Hate to sound sleazy
But tease me
I don't want it if it's that easy

Ok I figured it out, win32_physicalmemory is a really screwy class. The last property you want to select from win32_memory is "__SERVER" for the hostname of the computer you access ( :wtc:

).

So

Invoke-Command -command {Get-WmiObject win32_physicalmemory} -computerName (Get-ADComputer -filter * -searchBase "ou=$your,dc=$pool" | Select-Object -expand Name) | select devicelocator, capacity, speed, __SERVER | ConvertTo-CSV > C:\users\you\RAM.csv

"Invoke-Command -command {Get-WmiObject win32_physicalmemory} -computerName Computer1,Computer2,Computer3 | select devicelocator, capacity, speed, __SERVER | ConvertTo-CSV > C:\users\you\RAM.csv"

Would also work, if you felt like typing the names of all the computers, or you could Get-Content from a .csv like Inspector said as that also outputs a string. You're on your own with formatting I suck at it

Roargasm fucked around with this message at 23:15 on Jan 14, 2015

# ? Jan 14, 2015 23:08

fromoutofnowhere: Mar 19, 2004; Enjoy it while you can.

Either way I really appreciate this. Ton of stuff landed on my plate today and this has helped take off a bunch of stress.

# ? Jan 14, 2015 23:15

Aunt Beth: Feb 24, 2006; Baby, you're ready!; Grimey Drawer

Sweevo posted:

The real reason is that they don't want to have to throw the empty packet away, so they leave it half full and just dump it near the printer rather than walk 2 feet to a bin.

Laziness is really incredible. Our printers print a cover sheet with username, etc ahead of the document. Nobody actually needs the coversheet, ever. Each copy room has a recycle bin, a trash bin, and a shredder bin. The trash bin was closest to the door, so guess where all the unwanted cover sheets wound up? I swapped the recycle and trash bins and suddenly everyone's a recycling hero!

# ? Jan 15, 2015 00:21

lampey: Mar 27, 2012

Dudley posted:

That's certainly one of the 3 problems I tend to have.

the other 2 being that they're always tiny compared to the mac ones and that they never really understand multitouch gestures properly.

It's pretty much the only reason I still have a 5year old Macbook even though I don't really like OSX.

EDIT : Oh yeah, the other problem, track pads that are off centre. Especially when it's to the left. I'm right handed damnit!

The trackpad is huge and centered and it works great. If you are near a Microsoft store I would check it out.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 00:39

Happiness Commando: Feb 1, 2002; $$ joy at gunpoint $$

poo poo not pissing me off: This image. Everything about it.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 00:40

DrAlexanderTobacco: Jun 11, 2012; Help me find my true dharma

Always wear a hard-hat in the day-tuh-cennre

# ? Jan 15, 2015 00:59

Great Orb!: Feb 4, 2009

Ooh, it's got SQL! That's good, right? :yayclod:

Thing pissing me off: Our day guys got pizza on the company's dime for actually doing their job for once.
Thing not pissing me off: Used my punch card at A Good Pizza Place and bought a much better pizza. :buddy:

Great Orb! fucked around with this message at 01:04 on Jan 15, 2015

# ? Jan 15, 2015 01:01

Methylethylaldehyde: Oct 23, 2004; BAKA BAKA

Priss In Plate posted:

Ooh, it's got SQL! That's good, right?

Could be dbase3. or a proprietary fork of the 1997 access database type!

# ? Jan 15, 2015 01:18

evol262: Nov 30, 2010; #!/usr/bin/perl

Methylethylaldehyde posted:

Could be dbase3. or a proprietary fork of the 1997 access database type!

Empress is worse than either

# ? Jan 15, 2015 01:35

Wizard of the Deep: Sep 25, 2005; Another productive workday

Roargasm posted:

Invoke-Command -command {$wmi_query} -computerName (Get-ADComputer -filter * -searchBase "ou=$your,dc=$pool" | Select-Object -expand Name)

"Invoke-Command -computerName" only accepts strings, Get-ADComputer only returns objects, so you have to use the -expand parameter in Select-Object to return a computer name as a string to your query. Common gotcha that I'm going to assume is your problem

The big problem with Invoke-Command is, from what I can see, you have to have the remote computer set up to support it. Since it's a configuration setting that has to be positively changed and deployed, it's probably not. Get-WMIobject only requires that some standard ports are accessible, and you're using an account that has admin access on the remote host. Also, you can easily pipe everything GWMI outputs to Export-CSV, and go from there.

Also, you might want to check the processor/OS bitiness, which you can also do with GWMI. No point putting 8gb of RAM in a machine that will only see 4gb of it.

("GWMI" is a built-in alias for "Get-WMIObject". You can see all the aliases with "Get-Alias", or its alias, "gal". Many of the old DOS commands and common Un*x commands are pre-populated, like DIR (get-childitem) and MAN (get-help).)

(Also, Powershell is depreciating gwmi for get-ciminstance, but I've had much better results overall with gwmi)

# ? Jan 15, 2015 02:00

Che Delilas: Nov 23, 2009; FREE TIBET WEED

sfwarlock posted:

It reminds me of a rumor at my school of a "Computer Application Systems" professor whose final exam involved hand-drawing, from memory, the Word toolbars. (This was pre-ribbon.)

My first programming gig in the corporate world had a computerized assessment test I had to take before they would do a face-to-face interview. It was just a screen, apparently they had a lot of applicants who lied about being able to program at all. Fair enough. It was 10 multiple-choice questions. A few were about programming, a few were about SQL and database concepts. Two questions were a picture of the Visual Studio 2008 or 2010 toolbar, with an arrow pointing to one of the buttons that said, "what does this button do?"

I use keyboard shortcuts for everything. I don't push a button to comment selected lines, I use Ctrl+E, C because it's about 5 times as fast as moving my hand over to the mouse and clicking a button. The questions were there to make sure I'd be familiar with the programming environment they were using, but that was a little off-putting.

I have enough experience now that I won't put up with that kind of silliness again. I'll link you to my GitHub and you can ask me questions, or you can give me FizzBuzz if you must.

Che Delilas fucked around with this message at 02:23 on Jan 15, 2015

# ? Jan 15, 2015 02:21

hihifellow: Jun 17, 2005; seriously where the fuck did this genre come from

Wizard of the Deep posted:

The big problem with Invoke-Command is, from what I can see, you have to have the remote computer set up to support it. Since it's a configuration setting that has to be positively changed and deployed, it's probably not. Get-WMIobject only requires that some standard ports are accessible, and you're using an account that has admin access on the remote host. Also, you can easily pipe everything GWMI outputs to Export-CSV, and go from there.

Also, you might want to check the processor/OS bitiness, which you can also do with GWMI. No point putting 8gb of RAM in a machine that will only see 4gb of it.

("GWMI" is a built-in alias for "Get-WMIObject". You can see all the aliases with "Get-Alias", or its alias, "gal". Many of the old DOS commands and common Un*x commands are pre-populated, like DIR (get-childitem) and MAN (get-help).)

(Also, Powershell is depreciating gwmi for get-ciminstance, but I've had much better results overall with gwmi)

Yeah I don't think I'd ever use invoke-command to pull from WMI namespaces. Maybe use with a piped foreach? i.e.

code:

Get-ADComputer -filter * -searchBase "OU=foo,DC=bar" | % { GWMI win32_physicalmemory -computerName $_.Name | select things,stuff | ConverTo-CSV > c:\RAM.csv }

Or get fancy and exploit namespaces for multi-threading to make it go faster, but last time I did that it was a chore to get working.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 02:28

jaegerx: Sep 10, 2012; Maybe this post will get me on your ignore list!

Che Delilas posted:

My first programming gig in the corporate world had a computerized assessment test I had to take before they would do a face-to-face interview. It was just a screen, apparently they had a lot of applicants who lied about being able to program at all. Fair enough. It was 10 multiple-choice questions. A few were about programming, a few were about SQL and database concepts. Two questions were a picture of the Visual Studio 2008 or 2010 toolbar, with an arrow pointing to one of the buttons that said, "what does this button do?"

I use keyboard shortcuts for everything. I don't push a button to comment selected lines, I use Ctrl+E, C because it's about 5 times as fast as moving my hand over to the mouse and clicking a button. The questions were there to make sure I'd be familiar with the programming environment they were using, but that was a little off-putting.

I have enough experience now that I won't put up with that kind of silliness again. I'll link you to my GitHub and you can ask me questions, or you can give me FizzBuzz if you must.

Ugh fizz buzz needs to end already. I got asked to do it in 3 languages in 1 interview. And gently caress them bash is a language

# ? Jan 15, 2015 03:31

Scaramouche: Mar 26, 2001; SPACE FACE! SPACE FACE!

Methylethylaldehyde posted:

Could be dbase3. or a proprietary fork of the 1997 access database type!

The screenshot looks like Windows 3.1 era Access or possibly Oracle Forms.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 03:49

Che Delilas: Nov 23, 2009; FREE TIBET WEED

jaegerx posted:

Ugh fizz buzz needs to end already. I got asked to do it in 3 languages in 1 interview. And gently caress them bash is a language

FizzBuzz has exactly one purpose: weeding out the people who have never programmed in their lives and lied about that fact on their resumes from the applicant pool. I'm willing to put up with it because apparently there are a lot of those people out there. Having you do it in multiple languages is missing the loving point though; even pseudocode is enough.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 04:03

jaegerx: Sep 10, 2012; Maybe this post will get me on your ignore list!

Che Delilas posted:

FizzBuzz has exactly one purpose: weeding out the people who have never programmed in their lives and lied about that fact on their resumes from the applicant pool. I'm willing to put up with it because apparently there are a lot of those people out there. Having you do it in multiple languages is missing the loving point though; even pseudocode is enough.

I wasn't even applying for a programmer position. It was sys admin that's what pissed me off the most. I turned the offer down when it came because of that.

Next time I'll do it in power shell for a Linux position if they ask me for it.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 04:06

Fenrisulfr: Oct 14, 2012

If I ever start encountering this, I'll learn how to write FizzBuzz in INTERCAL just to gently caress with them.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 04:12

Che Delilas: Nov 23, 2009; FREE TIBET WEED

jaegerx posted:

I wasn't even applying for a programmer position. It was sys admin that's what pissed me off the most. I turned the offer down when it came because of that.

Next time I'll do it in power shell for a Linux position if they ask me for it.

Okay, story getting funnier now. :buddy:

Fenrisulfr posted:

If I ever start encountering this, I'll learn how to write FizzBuzz in INTERCAL just to gently caress with them.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Whitespace_%28programming_language%29

# ? Jan 15, 2015 05:21

skooma512: Feb 8, 2012; You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

Priss In Plate posted:

Ooh, it's got SQL! That's good, right?

The SQL contains sodium benzoate.

....That's bad.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 08:35

IllusionistTrixie: Feb 6, 2003

I'm hungry and whenever I go get my re-fill of coffee there's a whole bunch of empty sandwich trays from the last few days where the executives have had their lunch catered. It annoys me because A: I'm hungry and god I am easily pissed off when hungry and B: they already get paid 10X my own wage and yet get food brought to them to eat on the company expenses when I have to make the trip 20 minutes down to the local village and get a �3 tesco meal deal.

Maybe I should be less bitter and make my own lunch. Or eat something. I should totally eat something.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 12:35

spog: Aug 7, 2004; It's your own bloody fault.

LordVorbis posted:

I'm hungry and whenever I go get my re-fill of coffee there's a whole bunch of empty sandwich trays from the last few days where the executives have had their lunch catered. It annoys me because A: I'm hungry and god I am easily pissed off when hungry and B: they already get paid 10X my own wage and yet get food brought to them to eat on the company expenses when I have to make the trip 20 minutes down to the local village and get a �3 tesco meal deal.

Maybe I should be less bitter and make my own lunch. Or eat something. I should totally eat something.

If it helps: they are forced to eat in the office, sitting next to all the fat gits in management.

Whereas you get to leave the office, avoid idiots, enjoy fresh air and flirt with the one surprisingly-attractive girl/boy in Tescos

# ? Jan 15, 2015 12:39

IllusionistTrixie: Feb 6, 2003

spog posted:

If it helps: they are forced to eat in the office, sitting next to all the fat gits in management.

Whereas you get to leave the office, avoid idiots, enjoy fresh air and flirt with the one surprisingly-attractive girl/boy in Tescos

I love your outlook

I should consider that more.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 12:52

Gyshall: Feb 24, 2009; Had a couple of drinks.
Saw a couple of things.

Happiness Commando posted:

poo poo not pissing me off: This image. Everything about it.

Looks like the hat is photoshopped on but in the words of Nick Burns, "you guys should be wearing helmets."

# ? Jan 15, 2015 15:13

dogstile: May 1, 2012; fucking clocks
how do they work?

In response to being dragged into useless support meetings where the support leader will tell people they absolutely have to email the client, they have to communicate, etc etc i've taken to doodling. One line every time he repeats himself. I got to over 150 lines in the last meeting :stare:

At this point i'm fairly sure he needs to take it up with the actual guy who isn't following protocol, rather than dragging everyone away from their desk again. This is the fifth time i've been dragged in. I can only assume that maybe its a few people rather than just one, but that's still 2/3rds of support off of whatever they were working on for a few people.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 17:22

Dog Fat Man Chaser: Jan 13, 2009; maybe being miserable
is not unpredictable
_{maybe that's}
^{the problem}
with me

We just got asked to reinstall some old software some teachers used to use and can't seem to let go of on a new lab.

Administration won't pony up the money for a new version. One claims he just got a grant to buy more licenses last year! I guess that's cheaper? This version barely starts on Windows 7 and up. It fucks up your resolution each time.

edit: aha it's even older the documents say to use Java 5 update 6 and absolutely no higher than 6u35

:suicide:

Dog Fat Man Chaser fucked around with this message at 20:10 on Jan 15, 2015

# ? Jan 15, 2015 20:03

skooma512: Feb 8, 2012; You couldn't grok my race car, but you dug the roadside blur.

Stuff not pissing me off: Barracuda's hold music.

The only vendor with better music is GE Healthcare

# ? Jan 15, 2015 20:14

Proteus Jones: Feb 28, 2013

skooma512 posted:

Stuff not pissing me off: Barracuda's hold music.

The only vendor with better music is GE Healthcare

Our bridge "please wait for your conference to begin" music has used the same looping smooth jazz track for over 4 years. And since I'm usually on anywhere from 10-15 teleconferences a week, I've become so very familiar with this saccharine inoffensive down tempo piece of poo poo... :suicide:

# ? Jan 15, 2015 20:20

Trastion: Jul 24, 2003; The one and only.

skooma512 posted:

Stuff not pissing me off: Barracuda's hold music.

The only vendor with better music is GE Healthcare

I used to yell at the Barracuda guys for picking up and interrupting the song I was listening to.

Luckily I haven't had to call them for a while now.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 20:21

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# ? May 17, 2024 04:09

guppy: Sep 21, 2004; sting like a byob

Dog Fat Man Chaser posted:

We just got asked to reinstall some old software some teachers used to use and can't seem to let go of on a new lab.

Administration won't pony up the money for a new version. One claims he just got a grant to buy more licenses last year! I guess that's cheaper? This version barely starts on Windows 7 and up. It fucks up your resolution each time.

edit: aha it's even older the documents say to use Java 5 update 6 and absolutely no higher than 6u35

We have a web app that shits the bed on anything newer than IE8. I've thought for a long time that the vendor was an incompetent bunch of assholes (I don't administer it or anything). Turns out it's an ancient version, the company IS maintaining it properly, we just haven't upgraded. We are far enough out of version compliance that they won't support us anymore, not unreasonably.

# ? Jan 15, 2015 20:28

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > More shit that pisses you off: What does that say about the quality of your emails?

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