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Choadmaster posted:
Yesterday, I got the joy of witnessing the mothers on my local Moms facebook group talk about which local pediatricians previously thought to be cool with not vaccinating are "showing their TRUE COLORS now"...in that they are now pushing their non-vaxxed patients to get their kids an MMR. You know, because yesterday 6 children from the same nonvaxxed family (and proud patients of one of these non-vax-friendly pediatricians) who were all at Disneyland on December 18th showed up at a local clinic with measles without calling ahead first so proper isolation could be provided, exposed more than 40 people in the waiting room, and forced the shutdown of the clinic for cleaning and disinfection. Where were those kids last week? Oh, you know, shopping at the mall. KNEW they had been to Disneyland during the dates of exposure, KNEW they were not vaccinated, did nothing to reduce exposure to others in case of infection. And the response among the non-vaxxers is to take to facebook and bash these doctors who are now finally taking a stand and saying "Look, this isn't some hypothetical, this is a real actual outbreak RIGHT HERE, IN OUR CITY, so get your kid vaccinated". It is the most frustrating thing to witness, I want to punch them all in their big stupid faces.
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Jan 16, 2015 00:13
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I managed to contract mumps earlier this year. Thought it was a bad case of strep throat, but nope, mumps. My daughter hadn't had her MMR shot yet, so that made us freak out, especially since she was still in the period where she could start showing symptoms if she caught it from me. Even better, she was at day care with other babies, so that was a fun, awkward conversation to have with the administration. Luckily I had basically quarantined myself the moment I felt sick, and she didn't contract it, so we dodge a major bullet. I was vaccinated, but apparently the vaccine isn't 100% effective, so herd immunity is even more important, and the whole experience made me even madder at the anti-vaxxers. Only the plus side, I'm registered with the CDC!
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Jan 16, 2015 00:29
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gninjagnome posted:I was vaccinated, but apparently the vaccine isn't 100% effective, so herd immunity is even more important, and the whole experience made me even madder at the anti-vaxxers. Yeah, when I got pregnant, my rubella shot from childhood had "worn off" or just never worked properly in the first place, and you can't get a booster shot while you're pregnant, so I had to rely on herd immunity to protect my kid. There were only three reported cases in Norway that year, and they all caught it abroad, so you're perfectly safe without a vaccine right now, which is why people have the amazing luxury it is to gently caress it all up for everyone else.
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Jan 16, 2015 00:37
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I run into a lot of anti-vaxxers, since my kid is autistic, and obviously those circles are lousy with them. The looks on their faces when I'm pretty much "Oh, he got ALL of them. Chicken pox, too. And flu. Every year." are pretty amazing.
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Jan 16, 2015 03:19
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AngryRobotsInc posted:I run into a lot of anti-vaxxers, since my kid is autistic, and obviously those circles are lousy with them. The looks on their faces when I'm pretty much "Oh, he got ALL of them. Chicken pox, too. And flu. Every year." are pretty amazing. There's some bullshit about food allergies being caused by vaccinations too* and a friend of mine works with some of these moms. He overheard some talking about it once and one says, "Doesn't your son have a peanut allergy?" to which the response was "Yeah, but it's pretty mild. Can you imagine how bad it might have been if I DID get him vaccinated?"  Guess whose kids got hit during our local pertussis outbreak? * Interestingly, research seems to be pointing at both mothers' immune systems and gut flora as large factors in both autism and allergies, so the food allergy/autism parallel itself isn't entirely crazy.
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Jan 16, 2015 04:15
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Choadmaster posted:There's some bullshit about food allergies being caused by vaccinations too* and a friend of mine works with some of these moms. He overheard some talking about it once and one says, "Doesn't your son have a peanut allergy?" to which the response was "Yeah, but it's pretty mild. Can you imagine how bad it might have been if I DID get him vaccinated?" I hadn't heard that one yet, though it'll be pretty funny when I do, because he has a food allergy as well (spinach, of all things). I totally get why a lot of parents turn to things like that. We even fell in with the gluten and casein free diet thing for a little bit, which did help us find out the kid is lactose intolerant, but obviously did pretty much nothing for the whole autism thing. They're looking for something to blame, and something to help. But it crosses a line when it becomes dangerous to both their kids, and everyone who has to rely on herd immunity.
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Jan 16, 2015 04:30
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AngryRobotsInc posted:I run into a lot of anti-vaxxers, since my kid is autistic, and obviously those circles are lousy with them. The looks on their faces when I'm pretty much "Oh, he got ALL of them. Chicken pox, too. And flu. Every year." are pretty amazing. It's kind of weird to run into so many people who assume I will be mad about vaccines because my child is autistic. Or that we don't sit around wondering if that was *gasp* THE CAUSE.
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Jan 16, 2015 05:52
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We go to Disneyland often (I spent a fortune on these passes and I am going to use the gently caress out of them) and one of my kids is still an infant, 10-months old now. I was pretty pissed to hear we were exposed to measles but that hasn't stopped me from doing anything, really. It's the risk I take with a baby whenever I leave my house, or whenever I let anyone into my home, and it sucks that the blanket safety I have been relying on to keep him safe now has some holes. Why do people always have to gently caress up a good thing?! History really does repeat itself, doesn't it?
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Jan 16, 2015 06:49
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VorpalBunny posted:We go to Disneyland often (I spent a fortune on these passes and I am going to use the gently caress out of them) and one of my kids is still an infant, 10-months old now. I was pretty pissed to hear we were exposed to measles but that hasn't stopped me from doing anything, really. It's the risk I take with a baby whenever I leave my house, or whenever I let anyone into my home, and it sucks that the blanket safety I have been relying on to keep him safe now has some holes. We've never had an effective medical solution for communicable childhood diseases until recently, so watching people turn their backs on it for ill-defined *reasons* is a little novel. I guess you could compare it to the religious-conspiracy fundies that prevented the eradication of polio back in the 70s, though.
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Jan 16, 2015 15:20
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Hi, I'm going to make a sleep post even though I'm 100% sure this has been drilled into the ground with over-discussion. I have a 5 month old baby. From ages 2mo - 4mo she slept pretty great, generally in a string of 3/4 hour blocks during the night. Now... it's just loving terrible. For the past three weeks or so, at least one night a week she will sleep in 45 minute - 1 hour intervals before waking up yelling. She's not hungry. On these nights, even when one of us gets up to rock her back to sleep, she just twitches and kicks and wiggles. Typically we'll rock and bounce her a bit then put her back down, at which point she'll either wake up immediately and scream her head off or sleep for 45 minutes to an hour and start the whole process over. Sometimes if we put her in bed with us she'll sleep a little longer, but sometimes it doesn't matter and we just spend hours rotating bounce-sleep-cry-bounce-cry-bounce-sleep-cry. I don't know what happened. Our hypothesis is that we had her well-trained before but when we took our week trip to Texas for Christmas we ruined her training by boob-comforting her on the long plane ride to and from and her little life got disrupted. We've tried doing the stuff from the No Cry Sleep Solution book, but the fact that it doesn't seem to be working makes us think we're doing it wrong or something. If we put her down before she is sleeping but when she is clearly tired, she doesn't sleep. At best she babbles until she starts crying hard. We did this for about a week. It doesn't help that the book is terribly organized and full of little fluff stories instead of just giving clear guidelines. We don't know what to do. Both my wife and I are at critical times in our careers right now and this sleep poo poo only shows signs of getting worse. We've been thinking of trying the Ferber method despite the emotional reactions that tends to bring out in people. Really, we just need something that works or, alternatively, if we're just hosed it would be nice to know that instead of stressing out trying to fix the problem since our efforts don't seem to be working. For what it's worth, the baby's crib is in our bedroom, she is exclusively breastfed, and we have a nanny that watches her during the week while we are working. During the day our baby is happy, giggly, alert, and energetic.
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Jan 16, 2015 15:49
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Bird Person posted:Hi, I'm going to make a sleep post even though I'm 100% sure this has been drilled into the ground with over-discussion. How's the temperature at night? From what I gather (we're at 5.5 months), sleep regression at 4/5 months is normal. But for us (and I think typically) it's back to about 2-3 hour blocks and not really 45 minute blocks. Obviously YMMV, but I'd look at things that might just be making the baby uncomfortable like room temperature?
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Jan 16, 2015 16:30
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What about teething? It's about that time for the first teeth to start cutting through which will make sleep a bitch. Infant's tylenol will help somewhat for the first 3-4 hours at least but check with your pediatrician on the correct dosage.
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Jan 16, 2015 16:33
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I don't have much in the way of advice, but you're not alone! We've started a bedtime routine for our 5-month-old and, so far, all it seems to have done is break his sleep. We're getting him to bed much closer to the ideal time (7pm) instead of when he usually falls asleep for the night (10:30pm-midnight) but he's been waking up every hour from 3am on, rather than his usual 2-4 hours. I was expecting him to just nap after the routine, like usual, and was so amazed when it worked... but it seems he's not ready for a full night of sleep, ha. I'm thinking we'll bump the routine later and gradually change it instead. We're also trying to transition him out of the swaddle, which currently means we're using a Halo Sleepsack Swaddle and unwrapping his arms once he's fully asleep. Otherwise he'll keep on waving them around like a zombie despite being completely and utterly exhausted. My MIL tried to convince me that vaccinations are dangerous and horrible, and to avoid a fight I assured her that we'd look into it before making our decision. The best part was when she not-so-subtly insinuated that there was something wrong with my husband, her son, that had surely been caused by his childhood immunizations! Thank goodness she's only been to visit her grandson once, when he was a few weeks old, despite an open invitation. She lives a short flight away but money is not an issue. I wonder when the baby's going to start crawling. He's already quite annoyed that he can't move around properly. I had to expand his play area because he was rolling too aggressively and bumping his head on the floor. Now there is no living room, it's all baby room. 
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Jan 16, 2015 17:34
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Bird Person posted:Hi, I'm going to make a sleep post even though I'm 100% sure this has been drilled into the ground with over-discussion. Don't do CIO, especially not with a 5 month old. That's too young. And please don't do it because your baby being a normal baby is inconvenient for your careers. She's normal, and this sounds like a normal sleep regression, maybe triggered by being disrupted from a trip. Fun? No. Convenient? Babies seldom are. But she's just a baby, and they do what they do. The teething suggestions are spot on too; it could totally be teething, no real way to know. It could take her a week or two to get back to normal from the travel disruption alone. It's only been three weeks since Xmas, give her some time! Also, the No Cry methods don't work in the course of a few days; you have to keep at it. A week of doing something isn't enough time for anything to work. No Cry isn't a quick fix. (Babies don't have those, usually.  ) Be patient, and then patient some more, and then some more. Scrub "well-trained" and "ruined" from your mindset and vocabulary--it emotionally sets you up for failure because it gives the illusion that if you just do a certain prescribed set of actions, you will always get a prescribed set of results. You won't; babies don't work that way. They are also constantly developing and changing, so every couple months their routines shake up because of normal developmental changes. Sleep regression! She was on a good routine before, that was disrupted by a trip. And disrupted by being 5 months old. It had nothing to do with nursing on the plane for comfort or anything like that. In the midst of your frustrations, (and I do remember those nights!) remember that babies are not a manipulative adversary or an animal to be broken. They're just babies, and you are their entire world. That's my beef with CIO; the whole method hinges on the mindset of a baby being a manipulative little creature that you must break and bend to your will. It's a negative method that just shows them that their cries, which had previously brought a parent for holding comfort, suddenly bring a couple pats on the back and then nothing. It doesn't positively or proactively teach them to self soothe, (which is the real skill they need), just that their cries will be unanswered. How is fear and crying supposed to lead to good sleep skills? Many pages back there was poster who did it for a couple days, and it made their baby afraid of it's own crib and room. Started crying at the threshold, even for a diaper change. Because it learned to associate it's crib and room with crying, not sleep. No Cry is about gradually teaching your baby the skills to proactively to self-soothe and sleep on their own. A comfort object, and laying down drowsy but awake are the two keys. It is a learned skill to lay down and fall asleep by themselves, and they can't put themselves back to sleep during the night until they've learned it. They literally can't. Soothe all you need to, to maximize everyone's sleep, and stick to what her previous routine had been as much as you can. She'll settle down. Keep with the No Cry methods--they do work, with time and repetition. Each night is a new night. Some are good, some are bad. Patience, patience, patience. Good luck, and it will ultimately pass.
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Jan 16, 2015 18:01
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I'm not sure if this is a problem or not but my son will be 4 in March, he goes to sleep fine in his bed but then wakes up and moves to our bed every night. The issue is my wife and I are heavy sleepers and don't even notice when comes and crawls in. We are hoping he might grow out of it or something.
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Jan 16, 2015 18:09
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LoG posted:I'm not sure if this is a problem or not but my son will be 4 in March, he goes to sleep fine in his bed but then wakes up and moves to our bed every night. The issue is my wife and I are heavy sleepers and don't even notice when comes and crawls in. We are hoping he might grow out of it or something. This isn't necessarily the case with your son, but I did that around that age, and it turned out to be sleepwalking. I just repeated the same pattern every night, which my mom figured out once she caught me at it. I ended up growing out of within a few years.
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Jan 16, 2015 18:24
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Bird Person posted:Hi, I'm going to make a sleep post even though I'm 100% sure this has been drilled into the ground with over-discussion. My advice would be to try and keep everything as consistent as possible, so minor tweaks rather than massive changes to routines that worked previously. In my experience, sleep regressions are real, and horrendous, and there's not much that can be done except keep consistent routines, know that it will pass, and ensure you have wine, coffee and chocolate on hand at all times. We're currently going through something similar with my 9 month old, and I remember this phase with my first kid as well. I have to keep reminding myself that child development is not linear - just because they did something yesterday doesn't mean that they will (or even can) do it again today.
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Jan 16, 2015 18:39
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BonoMan posted:How's the temperature at night? From what I gather (we're at 5.5 months), sleep regression at 4/5 months is normal. But for us (and I think typically) it's back to about 2-3 hour blocks and not really 45 minute blocks. Obviously YMMV, but I'd look at things that might just be making the baby uncomfortable like room temperature? Thank you for this. It's been pretty cold recently and I've been telling my wife we should crank up the heat a bit at night to compensate. When I get out of bed to tend to the baby, I have to put clothes on to not feel chilly. I will try this tonight. Thwomp posted:What about teething? It's about that time for the first teeth to start cutting through which will make sleep a bitch. Infant's tylenol will help somewhat for the first 3-4 hours at least but check with your pediatrician on the correct dosage. So her first teeth actually came through the gums a couple of weeks ago, and the drooling and gnawing has slowed considerably. Could this still be the culprit? They aren't "all the way out" yet. Sweet Gulch posted:I don't have much in the way of advice, but you're not alone! I know that misery is supposed to love company, but this is little comfort. Thanks for trying, though! AlistairCookie posted:Don't do CIO, especially not with a 5 month old. That's too young. And please don't do it because your baby being a normal baby is inconvenient for your careers. I appreciate the advice on her being too young for Ferber. I do not, however, appreciate the insinuation that this is an inconvenience rather than a real problem. The occupational field that we are in is severely competitive and both of us, right this moment, are at critical, make-or-break phases. Long-term, the difference between doing excellent work and average work right now likely means the difference between stable, good jobs with security and benefits vs. unstable jobs with frequent relocation, low pay, and no employee-based health insurance. And this is not just about me and my wife and our quality of living - our ability send our daughter to high quality schools and save for her college education is also at risk. AlistairCookie posted:No Cry is about gradually teaching your baby the skills to proactively to self-soothe and sleep on their own. A comfort object, and laying down drowsy but awake are the two keys. It is a learned skill to lay down and fall asleep by themselves, and they can't put themselves back to sleep during the night until they've learned it. They literally can't. FWIW we are far more inclined to do things this way, but both of us have read the book and still find ourselves unsure of what to do in a given situation. Are you just supposed to keep laying the baby down over and over "drowsy but awake" when it's obviously not working? We did this for hours and hours, even when she was exhausted, and she would never go to sleep on her own without being held or having the vacuum cleaner running. What about for naps? I've spent literally an entire afternoon playing this game with the baby, and after an hour and a half I just rocked her to sleep figuring she had to have a nap because she was clearly so tired. Before we pretty much just soothed her to sleep most nights. We do the same thing now, the difference is she wakes up constantly. Seriously, if someone could just summarize that god-awful No Cry book into a page of heuristics it would be much easier to use. If I sound frustrated and bitter with it, it's because I am. We have a comfort object (glowy seahorse). We do the 4Bs routine every night at the same time. We've tried and tried the "lay down while drowsy but awake" to no avail. What I'm asking for here is an answer to the question - do we just keep plugging along, or is there some other technique that may work better?
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Jan 16, 2015 18:57
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kirsty posted:My advice would be to try and keep everything as consistent as possible, so minor tweaks rather than massive changes to routines that worked previously. In my experience, sleep regressions are real, and horrendous, and there's not much that can be done except keep consistent routines, know that it will pass, and ensure you have wine, coffee and chocolate on hand at all times. Thank you for this. A lot of the replies are already making me feel better. It is good to know that this phase is not my fault somehow because I've been coddling her too much or something. It doesn't solve the problem, but it does make me feel a bit less anxious.
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Jan 16, 2015 19:07
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Baby sleep is a total crap shoot. It gets better and than worse and than better etc etc etc. You can try to change things all you want but it is just one of those things all babies go through that gets better with time. How much time is completely dependent on the kid. Some sleep great from birth, some still are crappy sleepers at 3+ years. Changing white noise or swaddle technique or room temperature or whatever are all just things that give you the satisfaction of doing something when really it likely does not matter. (Unless you are practicing drums right outside her door or jumping on her bed in the middle of the night--those things you can change :p) Also, a five month old has no idea people and things exist if she can't see them so if you leave her cry by herself she will literally think she's all alone since her brain doesn't know any better. If that's not a terrifying thought for a tiny completely dependent on others baby I don't know what is.
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Jan 16, 2015 19:12
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And if she's in the room you are and crying her head off you aren't going to get any more sleep anyway. And it is not your fault....lol, you can't coddle a 5 month old "too much" sheri fucked around with this message at 19:23 on Jan 16, 2015 |
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Jan 16, 2015 19:13
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Babies sleep better in the cold! Just ask a Nordic parent.
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Jan 16, 2015 19:16
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Alterian posted:Babies sleep better in the cold! Just ask a Nordic parent. I have read that babies have a much harder time cooling down than they do warming up. I've also read that babies sleep best in 65-70 degree (Fahrenheit) rooms, though we haven't been following that recommendation. It's usually around 60 in our apartment, and every time we've checked on her she's been quite warm to the touch so it seems to work for us. We also use a fan(not pointed at the baby) for white noise, and our daughter(8 months now) rarely wakes up more than once at night.
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Jan 16, 2015 19:33
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Bird Person posted:both of us have read the book and still find ourselves unsure of what to do in a given situation. Welcome to parenthood Bird Person posted:Are you just supposed to keep laying the baby down over and over "drowsy but awake" when it's obviously not working? We did this for hours and hours, even when she was exhausted, and she would never go to sleep on her own without being held or having the vacuum cleaner running. What about for naps? I've spent literally an entire afternoon playing this game with the baby, and after an hour and a half I just rocked her to sleep figuring she had to have a nap because she was clearly so tired. Before we pretty much just soothed her to sleep most nights. We do the same thing now, the difference is she wakes up constantly. [...] What I'm asking for here is an answer to the question - do we just keep plugging along, or is there some other technique that may work better? I think you're simply expecting too much of your 5 month old. They're still so little at that point, and develop at a different rate. There are probably certain brain developments that has to take place before some of the things you want her to do will happen. Some babies are awesome sleepers from day one, some babies are crap sleepers. Most babies are somewhere inbetween, and will achieve good sleep when they're drat well ready for it, thank you very much. But there is rarely a magic bullet technique. Establishing good routines and sticking to them as best you can, is the biggest help you can give them. If you've tried getting her to sleep on her own without being held, and it doesn't work, well... You just have to wait and try again later. There is so much happening in their tiny brains every single day, and suddenly they're just at a place where they get it. And babies are so different! Some need you there, some don't. Some roll with the punches and accept changes in their routine without a peep, and some sleep like coffein-crazed monkeys for weeks after the slightest upset. Our kid has a really hard time sleeping in unfamiliar places, so any travel is guaranteed to involve a grumpy kid and sleep-deprived parents. We're hoping it'll pass when she's older and we can talk to her about it. But at home she sleeps 12 hours straight most nights, and has done so for half a year (she's 1,5), except when sickness and teeth and developmental leaps and just the random alignment of the planets conspire to wake her up during the wee hours of the night. But she was just like your daughter when she was her age - she would have NOTHING to do with "drowsy, but awake", and would only accept falling asleep on the boob, and would NOT let herself be calmed down in bed at all. It was a nightmare, and it lasted for months (I'm sorry). But she, too, figured it out at last (or rather, we figured it out - she couldn't calm down with us in the room at all, and we ended up having to do a modified cry it out when she was 8-9 months. Took less than a week, and even on the first day she cried less than half the length of time she'd spent wailing while being shushed and rocked the night before. Now we put her to bed, sing her a song, kiss her good night, and leave the room, and she just...falls asleep! And if she wakes up during the night, a song and a kiss will put her right back to sleep again. This will be you eventually, I promise! I completely understand that the lack of sleep is wrecking havoc on your ability to do your jobs, and your worries for the future. For now I'd focus more on finding ways for you to adapt to this temporary (it IS temporary!) situation, and divide the responsibility. Invest in a good pair of earplugs, accept that you're in a lovely sleep phase right now, and try to take it in turns so that at least one of you can be well-rested and perform well at work the next day. And repeat after me, the most important mantra of parenthood: This, too, will pass. You WILL sleep again, I promise you. It might be next week, it might be in a month. It might last for several months, or you might hit a teething issue and be right back to lovely sleep in two weeks. But then that, too, will pass, and you'll sleep again. Until next time. Edit: Alterian posted:Babies sleep better in the cold! Just ask a Nordic parent. Can confirm  She sleeps twice as long outside in her pram in minus 8 degrees (I refuse to cater to your Fahrenheit needs this time. Google it your drat selves!) as she does inside in her bed, and a cool bedroom = much better sleep than a too warm one. Scandinavian problems: Have you ever tried getting a baby to sleep when the sun shines 24/7? It. Is. poo poo. Sockmuppet fucked around with this message at 20:38 on Jan 16, 2015 |
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Jan 16, 2015 20:34
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If getting enough sleep is such an issue for the immediate future, hire a night nurse. Even if you can't afford it, consider it an investment in your career and your family's future. I know a few couples who did this and it worked for them.
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Jan 16, 2015 20:58
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Bird Person posted:..we had her well-trained... we ruined her training by boob-comforting her...her little life got disrupted. Listen, I'm not trying to insinuate anything, but the tone of your post struck me as frustrated and very impatient, leaning towards angry. To me it read, "we traveled and messed with the baby's routine," "we tried a thing for a week" to "we're thinking of Ferber because a week didn't fix it" then "this sucks because our careers are demanding". I wouldn't have brought it up if you hadn't, and certainly didn't/wouldn't disparage you having careers. But you're even angry at the format of the book; read a different book if you want! Lack of sleep affects every single parent, irrespective of career. I get it. I sympathize; it is frustrating. We have all had unending weeks, and months, with horrible sleep. We all have obligations and responsibilities. Poor sleep is a universal parent problem. But don't let your frustrations conflate your daughter's (normal, but exhausting) sleep troubles with the stress you have because of your career(s). That's all. If you're both that overwhelmed because of timing or circumstance, pay your daytime nanny to do a couple overnights so you can sleep, or work, or whatever you need to do. Do like Sockmuppet said and take absolute, ear-plugged, turns with night duty. No, it's not your fault. Yes, you have to keep at it. Patience, patience, patience. And by keep at it, I don't mean hours and hours of marathoning it at a time. Soothe her, lay her down sleepy but awake. Pick her up when she cries, soothe again, and try it again. And again. And again. Rock her to sleep after a few tries if it doesn't work. Play that seahorse the whole time you're rocking. Then give it a few tries the next waking. And the next one. And the next one. Naps, bedtime, night wakings. Every single time she goes to sleep. Eventually (I mean multiple weeks, not hours or days) it will click and she will settle down. You'll lay her down, she won't be quite as upset and tired will actually take over and she'll fall asleep. Then it will start to click with her. A week is not enough. Seriously, she's probably still trying to get recovered from traveling, may be teething, or about to hit a milestone, and is still only 5 months old. Patience, it will pass.
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Jan 16, 2015 21:12
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Bird Person posted:Thank you for this. It's been pretty cold recently and I've been telling my wife we should crank up the heat a bit at night to compensate. When I get out of bed to tend to the baby, I have to put clothes on to not feel chilly. I will try this tonight. Humidity impacts how a room's temperature feels. Higher humidity = warmer. Keep this in mind if you just want the room to be a little bit warmer without having to warm your entire house, if you have a humidifier and/or measure your humidity (cheap tools on amazon for this are like  )I've been doing this as I live in an apartment and the bedroom is near the bathroom via letting the shower run as hot as possible for like 20-30mins to raise the humidity back to 40-60% ish instead of ~20% as it is right now, and I find it helps our newborn go back to sleep a little bit.
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Jan 16, 2015 21:50
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Sockmuppet posted:Thank you for this. These are the best posts on the topic - it is nice to know we haven't been just royally loving up. VorpalBunny posted:If getting enough sleep is such an issue for the immediate future, hire a night nurse. Even if you can't afford it, consider it an investment in your career and your family's future. I know a few couples who did this and it worked for them. This is an awesome idea we hadn't considered. Thank you. AlistairCookie posted:No worries. I am frustrated and feeling a very acute anxiety about my ability to provide for my family. A year from now things will have settled one way or another and there will be less constant pressure if all goes well. I apologize for reacting angrily and blame at least part of it on stress and sleep deprivation. Thank you for the tip about playing the seahorse during soothing times - we haven't tried that and it makes sense that it would help to build an association.
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Jan 16, 2015 23:33
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Bird Person posted:I apologize for reacting angrily and blame at least part of it on stress and sleep deprivation. Thank you for the tip about playing the seahorse during soothing times - we haven't tried that and it makes sense that it would help to build an association. Believe me, I understand being sleep deprived and stressed and irrational. So say we all. I also understand career pressures (Hubby and I are well educated; I'm a house staff per diem geneticist, per diem because of children, and the hubby is a technical architect.) It is a surprisingly short step from normal frustration to irrational resentment of your precious baby whom you love so dearly. Truly; zero snark. That step is so short. You may think you could never resent your child, but you can. We're all human. Your post could have been written by my husband (or myself) a few years ago; it was not my intent to be personally critical, you just sort of triggered a hindsight-reading between the lines-type warning that your baby and your career are two separate issues. Babies are not rational, and are utterly incapable of giving any fucks about whatever else you have in your life. I know you know that, but it helps to repeat it to yourself. Really, it does. Babies don't know anything about anything. The language we choose is both a reflection of how we think, and also influences how we think. ("Training" "ruining" "faking" etc... are so common. They're your babies, not animals or enemies.) I often repeat the line, they're just babies for a reason. It was not my intention to lash out. The internet, and more importantly life, is full of enough judgement. IMHO babies are easy (but only in retrospect). I would walk an infant all night long, every night, compared to negotiating the nuances of social interaction, both between my boys and to help them in their school interactions. (They're 6 and 3.) But that's a really YMMV type thing. You have Seahorse. (So do we.) I started playing Seahorse for the kids, from birth, every time they were being soothed for sleep. Every time from birth (start anytime!). Also, they have had a Lovey from birth, which was cuddled with me (and them) every single time for sleep (start anytime!) Play Seahorse and give her a Lovey every time. It makes the association between this music, these objects, and Sleepy Time. Rock until just about asleep, lay her down, then walk away. Give her a minute or two. Go back if you have to and pick her up again. And again. And again. It will ease, and in a few short months you will wonder where your little baby went and where did this sassing toddler come from. This stage is so short, in the grand scheme of things, but it's hard to see that while you're living it.
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Jan 17, 2015 03:22
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is sleep regression a thing that can happen at 21 months because we were so happy for a couple weeks there where he was going to bed at 7:30, asleep all night until 6:30. It was amazing. Now he's back to getting up at 4:30 and taking bad naps. I didn't think we changed any routine 
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Jan 17, 2015 11:21
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I'm getting the same at 19 months. Sleeping 8-5 instead of normal 7-6. And also waking up overnights too Parenting mantra....this too shall pass
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Jan 17, 2015 13:30
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Fionnoula posted:Yesterday, I got the joy of witnessing the mothers on my local Moms facebook group talk about which local pediatricians previously thought to be cool with not vaccinating are "showing their TRUE COLORS now"...in that they are now pushing their non-vaxxed patients to get their kids an MMR. You know, because yesterday 6 children from the same nonvaxxed family (and proud patients of one of these non-vax-friendly pediatricians) who were all at Disneyland on December 18th showed up at a local clinic with measles without calling ahead first so proper isolation could be provided, exposed more than 40 people in the waiting room, and forced the shutdown of the clinic for cleaning and disinfection. Where were those kids last week? Oh, you know, shopping at the mall. KNEW they had been to Disneyland during the dates of exposure, KNEW they were not vaccinated, did nothing to reduce exposure to others in case of infection. And the response among the non-vaxxers is to take to facebook and bash these doctors who are now finally taking a stand and saying "Look, this isn't some hypothetical, this is a real actual outbreak RIGHT HERE, IN OUR CITY, so get your kid vaccinated". It is the most frustrating thing to witness, I want to punch them all in their big stupid faces. once again glad our pediatrician is 100% mandatory vaccine (unless medically counterindicated) or gtfo.
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Jan 17, 2015 15:21
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Bird Person posted:We don't know what to do. Both my wife and I are at critical times in our careers right now and this sleep poo poo only shows signs of getting worse. We've been thinking of trying the Ferber method despite the emotional reactions that tends to bring out in people. Really, we just need something that works or, alternatively, if we're just hosed it would be nice to know that instead of stressing out trying to fix the problem since our efforts don't seem to be working. oh this sounds familiar. 1. As she's getting older, she might not be getting "full" off the breast milk. If she'll take a bottle, try giving her a mix of pumped milk and (*GASP*) formula. It will be a little more dense and might fill her up and get her to sleep. 2. There is nothing wrong with "cry it out". I suspect many people with "strong emotional responses" to it don't have houses in which both parents are early in their career and need a full night's sleep. At the end of the day, do what works for you, and ignore anyone else's response (barring of course obvious abuse)
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Jan 17, 2015 15:27
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AlistairCookie posted:Don't do CIO, especially not with a 5 month old. That's too young. And please don't do it because your baby being a normal baby is inconvenient for your careers. Worked for us. Kids are all different...go figure.
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Jan 17, 2015 15:32
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In other news..just got back from tot music class. One of the new mothers in the group had a rainbow striped beret, was unironically wearing tie dye, and has both a coexist and a "911 was an inside job" bumper sticker. I wonder how she feels about vaccines.
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Jan 17, 2015 17:16
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ActusRhesus posted:
What. Breastmilk is plenty filling for a 5 month old! Formula is great, but it doesn't make sense for her to skip a feed and pump + formula feed if they're happy with breastfeeding. Formula takes longer to digest, but it has nothing to do with age or breastmilk not being filling enough. "Formula requires a baby’s digestive system to work overtime as baby tries to digest something not specific to the human body. Formula is harder to digest than human milk; thus formula-fed babies tend to go longer between feedings. While this may seem like a benefit, it’s probably not something we want for our babies’ bodies unless there are no other alternatives." http://kellymom.com/nutrition/starting-solids/solids-sleep/
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Jan 17, 2015 17:34
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Ben Davis posted:What. I"m just saying what worked for us. And I tend to take my advice from our pediatrician, not kellymom.com. And even your own link acknowledges that babies can go longer between feedings after formula. If the kid is waking up because she's hungry, it may be a viable solution. ActusRhesus fucked around with this message at 17:41 on Jan 17, 2015 |
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Jan 17, 2015 17:38
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I love it when people post about when they let their super young babies, those without the brain maturity to understand object permanence yet, cry it out. It makes it really easy to know who I can disregard any advice from. Also, my husband and I are young, early in our careers, both work, and didn't do the cry it out method. Some babies will not respond to CIO and will literally cry for hours. Also, no one really recommends Ferber/cry it out for babies under 12 months...see below 1. The Ferber method is NOT appropriate for young babies Young babies need to feed at night, and their sleep-wake patterns are still immature. For these reasons, even researchers who advocate Ferber sleep training warn that sleep training is inappropriate for babies under 6 months old (France and Blampied 1999; Owens et al 1999). Instead, parents can try out a number of safe, age-appropriate tactics for improving their babies’ sleep. For more information, see these articles on infant sleep problems and infant sleep aids. For older infants, there is less agreement. However, most studies frequently cited in support of Ferber sleep training do not focus on babies under 12 months of age (France, Blampied and Wilkinson 1991; France 1992; Eckerberg 2004). Moreover, the few studies that have investigated possible side effects have relied on subjective parental reports. Third-party observational assessments and physiological measurements (like changes in stress hormone levels) have not been included in the research design (Mindell et al 2006). (- See more at: http://www.parentingscience.com/Ferber-method.html#sthash.FUEzKvto.dpuf)
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Jan 17, 2015 19:15
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Your quote says six months. FYI. Anyhow, OP I think above post helps make my point. There are people out there who get off on knowing that they are the world's greatest parent and will try to make you feel like a moron or monster for any number of reasons. At the end of the day you need to do what works for you. If it works, then it works. Kids are different. Go figure.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:39
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If you read the article at the link, it indicates 12 months and explains why.
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Jan 17, 2015 19:44
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